Twilights first kidnapping

by Arcadunato

Rating: teen
Tags: Sex, Twilight Sparkle, Random, Princess Celestia, Main 6, Princess Luna, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Romance
Length: 1056

it goes as well as you might think.

somepony decides to kidnapp twilight.

Published 2016-07-26 07:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-07-26 07:10:01 UTC

Not the Reaction we Were Hoping for...

"Princess, Princess, we need your help! Oh it's just horrible, the worst possible thing to happen!" Spike and the rest of the mane six ran into the throne room, all weeping and twamatized. Well except for Twilight, and that should be expected.

With a dainty, yet regal lift of her hoof, Princess Celestia silenced them. "Now, now, my little ponies. What is this horrible thing you speak of?"

"Oh, just the worst possible thing ever!" Rainbow Dash flew right up to Celestias face. "Twilight was kidnapped!"

With a regal sweep of her wing, Celestia kindly (strait up smashing her into a wall) brushed Rainbow Dash back. "Oh, don't wory, my little ponies, Luna and I shall get right on it. Next pettitioner please, guard, please escourt them out."

Rainbow Dash was slowly peeled off the pillar closest to he royal majesties right side by a guard who had the forethought enough to position himself with a window wiper and wheel barrow ready. Wich just so happened to coencide with the coincidental door that appeared for them to be escorted through. Because who needs logic?

As Celestia made sure that the rest of the element bearers were our of ear shot, she waved a guard over and whispered conspiratoraly in his ear. Why she whispered I have no idea. She was a princess in her own palace, either pay them off or banish them! The guard ran out of the throne room, through the left side off towards Lunas chamber. After a music ladened montage about getting to the end of the journey, he skidded to a stop before the Lunar crested double doors of Lunas chambers. Barely winded (because they always practice running and usless stuff like how to apear bored while standing) he lifted a hoof to knock on her door.

With a surprising amount of luck, the door opened and the guard halted his hoof mere centemeteres in front of a lunar guards face. "What is the pass word." her fangs flashed and her eyes narrowed in the light. Anger seething through the door.

The solar guard gulped in trepedation as he tried to talk to the mare, a drop of sweat ran down his neck. After opening and closing his mouth several times he finaly managed to fling out a response, "I THINK YOUR FLANK LOOKS GOOD IN THE MOON LIGHT!!!!!" and galloped away like a little foal.

With a roll of her eyes, the Thestral turned and closed the door, sealing out the oppresive light of day. Like a proper guard, she patrolled the hall down to her destination and hoofed over the watch to the next avaliable guard. Who just happened to be standing in front of Lunas chambers. As the other guard began his rounds, the mare fwapped him across the muzzle with her left wing, earning herself a kick to her flank. Her brother laughed as he walked away.

Dawn- three hours earlier

Twilight awoke as the suns bright tendrils drew a moustace across her muzzle, wich she wiped away with a brush of her wing before she could even notice. Slowly with practiced grace, she stretched and rolled her back. With a cute little groan similar to a kitten, she yawned. As she rubbed the sleap from her eyes, she surveid her room. There seemed to be an abundance of other ponies this morning, she thought. With a surge of adrenalin twilight tried to charge her horn, only to recieve a shock on par with a lightning strike. To her, it felt like a little bit of static had rubbed in her mane. To those watching, a beam of lightning shot across the inhibitor and funneled to the ground outside. Somehow.

Twilight looked around at the figures of obvious equin shape. One was obviously a pegasus, another a unicorn, and the last was a rather large earth pony. As if a flip had been thrown, they began to slowly move in on her bed. The unicorn pulled up a length of rope and the earth pony held up a bag, the pegasus got ready with a pair of runed shackles and lunged at her. With a flash, the princess had dissapeared, leaving the inhibitor behind.

With a giddy shreek, she reapeared atop the earth pony. "Oh! Are you all here to kidnapp me?!" she dissapeared in another flash and reapeared across the room at her dresser. "Ok, I just need to get ready first. Do any of you have any qualms with carring luggage?"

As she began pulling out dresses and whatnot, the assailants all looked between eachother and shrugged. They began their asault again, only to be met with briefcasess to the face. "Just have a few more things to bring with me, and we'll be on our way." she dissapeared again only to reapear after a few seconds in a real, REALY old style, almost Starswirl the bearded age style of a dress on. "Ok, we can go now." She smiled and walked over to the unicor, grabing the rope and lying down, then tying herself up, followed by the sack being comfortably wrapped around her.

She looked around at the confused party. "Are we just going to wait around or are you going to ponienapp me?" With a shared shrug, the ponies all began fileing out after the pegasus left a note on her bed after tossing a few things around for effect.

With a gigle Twilight was hoisted over the earth ponies back. "Oh, this is going just how my first Ponynapping would go! I wonder who's going to come and rescue me?" As the party continued on their way the princess just kept rambling on and on about how she had thought her first time would have gone had she had to pay somepony to do it. It was long, dry and with no end with in earshot. Several groans had been uttered throughout the trip. Nopony had been spaired the boring and long plan she had detailed on how she was going to do this for her twenty first birth year. then again to free up the monotony of her five hundreth. Gods it was boring.

Author's Note

please, just please don't take this seriously.
That means you too, Random Pony No.27!!!