Salt, Anger, And Booze

by MajorFrostwing

Rating: mature
Tags: Nightmare Moon, Romance, Self Insert, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Alternate Universe, Human, Anthro, Main 6, Princess Luna, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 52095

Jon a standard man with horrible anger issues get's thrust into Equestria and is on the war path to destroy who sent him there. Shameless Self Insert fic.

Meet Jon. A salty salty man who only knows how to be anger and destroy what's around him. When he is thrown into Equestria he does the only thing he can think to do... Punch his way to answers. With the enemies of the past coming back to try and destroy Equestria will Jon step up to help or just let the world burn? The real question is, is Jon going to be a better solution?

This is a shameless self insert fic. I wrote this on a dare and at first made it cliche and annoying but I am putting this up strictly because I have been very dedicated in the past with all of my work. When I started this I wanted to make it bad but slowly I began making changes to make it better. You will see the same cliche junk that is in a lot of Self inserts but how Jon grows as a character is drastic. You can see when I started to take this seriously and I am keeping it this way on purpose to show how even when someone starts a story as a joke or out of spite it can improve and change to be something it wasn't supposed to be.

In all seriousness this story at times will make you cringe and other times you can see the effort put into it. I don't care if this story does poorly or extremely well it is a sign that I still want to write for you guys.

So Enjoy if you do hate it if you want. I will try to write more things up for you guys and try my hardest to go against the grain and write things that I hope are original.

This story contains Anthro, blood, gore, cheesy one liners, and Psychological disorders. You have been warned.

Cover Art by ElementBrigade

Published 2016-07-16 19:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-12-30 02:18:18 UTC

Chapter 2: Lock It Away

Salt, Anger, And Booze
Part 2: Lock It Away

By: Major Frostwing

I sat on the couch of some weird fucking tree library messing with the bracer on my right arm. "Fucking hate this thing." I muttered trying to get it to sit right on my arm.

"Jon you are not supposed to mess with it. If you take it off the parasite will only continue to spread." Twilight said as I glared at her.

"I don't fucking care about that I don't like it plus." I held up my arm showing the bracer to her. "WHY THE FUCK IS IT PINK!?" I yelled in her face as I began pacing about the room. "I WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE WITH ANY OTHER COLOR! BUT FUUUUUUUCK NO IT HAD TO BE PINK!" I grabbed Twilight by her vest jacket. "MAKE IT A DIFFERENT COLOR BEFORE START BURNING THIS TOWN DOWN TO THE GROUND!" I continued to yell in her face before letting her go. "Make it dark purple. I actually enjoy that color." I said sitting down on the couch looking down at the bracer.

I let my mind drift as I looked up at my hand seeing my skin shift between it's standard white to a pitch black. I remember Celestia telling me some bullshit about a parasite and that infected my hand... If I don't wear the bracer it will infect the rest of me... Like I am gonna let some shit possess my body only I get to cause pain and destruction.

I came out of my own mind to see the bracer glowing before the color shifted becoming a darker purple. "There I changed the color are you happy now?" She asked with an exasperated expression. I looked at her before looking at the bracer.

"It's the wrong shade but whatever I can deal with it now." I got up from my seat walking to the front door shaking out my right hand the whole way.

"Jon The Princess said you weren't to leave yet I was to keep an eye on you in case something with the bracer goes wrong." I took hold of the door knob turning it openning the door with a smile.

"Don't care bored out of my mind." I said as I walked out the door sliding my hands into my pockets. "Because I don't give a shit. I don't give a fuck." I said in a sing song voice continuing my walk. Twilight rushed up to me trying to keep up with me as I continued to go with my little song chant.

"Can you please not cuss in public?" Twilight asked as I looked down at her out of the corner of my eye.

"I'll think about it... Thought about it. Go fuck yourself with a cactus." I said as I picked up my pace towards the park. "I can do whatever the fuck I want. Not like any of you pussies can do jack shit to stop me anyway so why even bother asking? My answer will always be a swift fuck off." I told her as I stopped in the middle of the park looking up at the sky above. "This looks like the perfect place." I said looking around seeing many people walking about just enjoying the day. Time to change that.

Twilight looked at me as I flashed her a wicked grin. She seemed to pale under my smile as I slowly drew in a breath. I began laughing it started nothing more than a chuckle but slowly became louder and louder. I just couldn't help it as I watched these "ponies" look at me with concern as my laughing became maniacal. I began cackling like an evil villain as a few of them backed away from me until I ceased my laughter. I raised my arms stretching them out before looking at the first "Pony" in my view waltzing right up to them.

"Hmmmm..." I hummed in thought before snapping my fingers nodding to myself. "WHAT A LITTLE BITCH!" I bellowed in his face as he fell back from the sudden volume increase. "I mean holy fuck you just look so pathetic I mean just look at you when was the last time you got any? A year 5 years? Come on you little bitch talk to me. SAY SOMETHING TALK BACK MAKE THIS FUN FOR ME!" I bellowed picking him up by his shirt lifting him in the air.

"JON!" Twilight yelled as I looked back at her still holding the man up in the air. "YOU CAN'T JUST TREAT PEOPLE LIKE GARBAGE!" She yelled getting in my face. I released my grip on the man before turning to face her head on.

"You mind speaking up? I can't hear you over the fun I am about to have." I said leaning down getting eye level with her. "Here is how this is going to go. You either let me have my fun or become the outlet for all my anger that is building up. What's it gonna be little filly?" I asked raising my right hand setting it on top of her head squeezing her head slowly. She slowly feel to one knee as I continued to squeeze on her head.

"..." Twilight whispered as I lowered back down to eye level with her.

"SPEAK UP!" I yelled as I tightened my grip on her head.

"I'M SORRY!" Twilight yelled as I suddenly released her head getting back to my full height. Twilight was gripping her head as I saw small streams of tears going down her cheeks.

"Don't interfere next time Little Filly. I will not be so kind next time." I muttered walking past her I contemplated kicking her over for good measure but I didn't have as much anger in my as I thought. I just scoffed spitting on the ground in front of her. "Pathetic." I walked away from her as I began to here her choke out her sobs. I felt a pain in my chest at the sounds but ignored them. Pity is a weakness I can't afford. I gripped my chest where my heart would be. Doesn't make it hurt any less...

I returned back to the Library opening the door with a kick before slamming it close. I let out a sigh looking down at my hand. I saw it shift once again as I gripped my hand tight. "What the fuck is wrong with me...?" I asked myself as I made my way up to my room. I opened the door but didn't bother to close the door all the way. I sat down on the bed looking out the window at the nice day. I felt my anger spike at seeing all the happy people walking about.

I let out another sigh as I turned away from the window looking at a particularly dark corner of my room. for some strange reason there was a chair in the darkness and that's when something really freaky happened.

A woman walked out of the shadows taking a seat across from me. She looked Like that bitch that I stomped into the ground when I first arrived. Dark emerald green dragon like eyes stared back at me as the person crossed their arms. "So I see you are the one I am to possess next. Shame I thought you would be stronger." The woman said as I cocked an eyebrow at her.

"I'm not even gonna point out how cliche you look buddy but seriously the black and purple is a nice touch." I said with a cocky smile. "Plus the constant billowing hair is kind cool but fuck you. Who are you anyway ya fuck?" I asked leaning on my knees as she mimicked my movements.

"I am just known as Nightmare. Or would you rather call me Parasite?" She asked with a toothy smile. Those razor teeth were kinda cool.

"I think I will stick with calling you Bitch." I said as she scowled at me.

"Watch your tone with me mortal." She said pointing a finger at me. "Even though you throw up that angry front I can feel the terror in your mind. You are afraid to make friends. You think you will hurt them." The woman said as I fixed my own scowl at her. "Tell me I'm wrong Jon. Sweep all of your problems under the rug and just walk away. That's what you always do right? Ignore the problem and it will go away just like your friends." The woman gave a chuckle as I stood from the bed only to see her raise her hands. "Now is not the time to fight me Jon. We will fight but not yet until then whenever ya need me use me I will take over when you let me take over." The woman stood from her seat getting in my face.

"Have a good day Jon and remember. You can't do a damn thing to stop me." The woman turned away going back into the shadows. I continued to stand there before sitting down on my bed resting my head in my hands.

"Fuck..." I muttered as I looked down at my hands seeing them shaking. I decided a nap was the best thing for me to do. After my nap I will get to work on my research... If I can even get the energy to do it.

I had woke from my nap and was now sitting at the desk in my room writing down what I could remember from my research. It wasn't much but it gave me a base to work with while I had nothing to do. Psychology was a fickle bitch after all and hard to pinpoint the cause of mental diseases including my own. Which reminds me... they have been silent since That bitch appeared. I looked about my room seeing no one there I felt a bit unnerved at least one of them was always around but not a single one was there... "Come on guys come out I know you are there." I said as nothing happened I stood from my desk scanning the room for any of them.

"Come on guys talk to me. I know you guys are still there let's have a chat." I said as nothing happened I was beginning to panic. "G-guys...?" I asked as i was only answered by silence and solitude. "D-don't... Please god no not them too... Don't take the last of my friends away... Don't leave me all alone." I leaned my back against the wall sliding down it as I felt something wet my cheeks. "I don't want to be alone." I covered my face with my arms as the silence began to overwhelm my senses. It was just so quiet.

I put my hands over my ears trying to think anything that could help me. I needed them in my head without them. I let out a shuddering breath as I began to hyperventilate. "I-I'm alone... All alone... GUYS!" I yelled standing up taking hold of the desk in the room flipping it over before tearing up the room. "GUYS WHERE ARE YOU!" I yelled again flipping the bed over to see if they were hiding. "DON'T HIDE FROM ME!" My erratic breathing became more panicked and short as I gripped my chest. My heart hurt so much. I coughed hard as I collapsed onto the ground gripping my heart tightly. Why does my heart hurt so fucking much?

I felt my breathing slow down as I blinked my eyes. "Why is everything getting so dark?" I asked myself as I saw the door burst open Twilight ran into the room she looked... worried? "Why would she be worried about me? After everything I had done. Why?" My body felt like it was going numb. "My heart seems to be calming down... good..." My vision turned completely black as I closed my eyes.

Chapter 3:Critical Flaw

Salt, Anger, and Booze
Part 3: Critical Flaw

By: Major Frostwing

Pain... That's all I felt as I slowly cracked my eyes open. Something seems to be covering my face. I slowly moved my hand up taking hold of the breathing mask on my face. What the fuck happened to me?

I looked around the room I was in. It was dark so that must mean it is night I tried to sit up only to feel a pain in my chest rocket across it. I let out a hiss as I leaned back resting my head on the pillows.

-beep- -beep- -beep-

I glanced over seeing I was hooked up to a heart monitor. I must be in a hospital then. I reached out with my arm hitting the call nurse button on the machine. I let out a small beep as I lowered my arm. Why did I feel so weak?

A few minutes later a nurse entered the room trying to be as quiet as possible. I looked at her seeing she had dark red hair and a soft pink coat of fur. "Is something wrong sir?" She asked walking up to me.

"What happened to me?" I asked in a raspy voice my throat felt so dry.

"You suffered a minor heart attack induced by an extreme fit of anxiety. We were hoping you would fill us in on how the fit was incurred." She said as I looked away from her looking at the ceiling.

"I had a heart attack... How does my heart look?" I asked as she looked over a clip board.

"No real scaring though your heart right now is really weak. You will have to remain on bed rest until your heart can recover more. If you have another panic attack it could induce another heart attack which could kill you. So right now we are using Buspirone to calm your mind and hopefully prevent another attack." She said as I nodded my head letting out a sigh.

"Thank you." I said as she smiled to me. I smiled back to her feeling how calm I actually was for once in my life. It felt good. "What's your name?" I asked her as she continued to smile at me.

"My name is Nurse Red Line. I am the nurse that helped get your heart back up and running." She said as I let out a chuckle.

"Jon." I said holding my hand out to her. She looked at it before taking hold shaking it gently.

"A pleasure to meet you Jon. Now please get some sleep you need it." I nodded leaning my head back letting sleep take me.

A few days later Twilight came to visit me along with all of her friends. Turns out they were all at least a little worried about me. Twilight was able to fill me in more about my panic attack and what had caused it. She originally thought it was due to me being in a new world but I gave her the real reason.

"So wait a darn second." Applejack interrupted as I looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "You mean to tell us that you are one of them crazies that talks to the air and spend most of their time in the loony bin?" I rolled my eyes at that little description.

"I prefer the term insane. I know there is something wrong with my head but I deal with it. Crazies as you call them think something is wrong with everyone else." I explained as I leaned back on my pillows. "And the reason I had my panic/heart attack was because they were suddenly not in my head anymore. They are the last of my friends and now they are all gone. That is what made me lose my proverbial mind." I said with a roll of my wrist..

"Darling if you had a heart attack because of figuring out that fact then what is stopping you from having another one just talking about it?" Rarity asked as I pointed at the IV bag.

"This little bag is pumping an anti anxiety drug into me that is keeping me calm and collected. It's also the reason I am not absolutely furious right now. Even though I have a damn good reason to be angry right now." I said as I looked at the heart monitor which was showing my heart rate was elevated right now but not in the danger zone just yet.

"What is making you angry now?" Rainbow asked as I clenched my hands into fists as my heart monitor picked up in pace.

"The mother fucker that took my friends away from me." I growled out as I looked down at my right hand. "I want to rip her out of my mind and put her in a body so I can cave her fucking head in. NO ONE FUCKS WITH ME AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!" I yelled as I felt pain rocket in my chest as I gripped my heart. The heart monitor was going crazy as Nurse Red Line rushed into the room.

"MAKE A HOLE!" She yelled as she ran up to my side pulling a syringe off of the heart monitor injecting it into my IV I felt my mind haze over as my heart slowed down back to a regular beat. I leaned back into my pillows feeling my body go slack. "Girls I will have to ask you to refrain from making his heart rate spike. His body can't take another heart attack in his condition." She scolded as they all nodded. Nurse Red Line looked me over still very much concerned for my safety. I smiled up to her as I closed my eyes drifting off to sleep. I just felt at peace in the whole situation... I hated it.

I woke up later that night looking at the heart monitor just listening to it beep. Fucking hate the sound it was making and then I noticed my heart rate increase. I realized that if my heart rate went to high then I would have another heart attack. The sound slowed back down as I continued to watch it. This was scary as fuck.

If I got angry I died... But I was just so angry and I have to throw it away. What was I supposed to be? What am I going to do with my life now? Just throw away all of my anger and just be a calm individual that helps society?

I let out a loud sigh as I looked away from the machine staring at the ceiling. "My whole life is... gone." I whispered out as I felt my eyes begin to burn. I heart the heart monitor spike again as I looked to it to see it only pick up the pace. I was feeling the panic set in before I reached over turning the sound off of the heart monitor. I looked away from the damned machine taking a few deep breaths as my heart finally began to slow down. I let out a sigh of relief at finally being calm once again.

"Jon are you doing ok?" A female voice asked as I jerked up feeling a minor pain in my chest. "Oh I'm sorry please calm down it is just me." I looked over seeing Nurse Red Line setting her hand on my shoulder. "The alarm for your heart monitor was beginning to go off so I came to see how you are doing."

"I-I see... Sorry just having a bit of an identity crisis." I said with a shrug as I looked up to her. There it was again... That fucking worried expression. Why did that look of pity fill my chest with warmth... Must be heart failure.

"Jon I am gonna ask you as not your nurse but as a friend. Are you OK?" Red Line asked me as I looked at her before looking down at my hands. I felt tears stream down my face as I took a shuddering breath.

"No... I'm not fucking ok..." I wrapped my arms around her as I just let my tears loose. "I've lost everything. I have nothing left." I sobbed onto her coat as she held me tight.

"It's ok Jon. It's ok." She cooed as I just cried into this woman's arms. She rubbed my back as she softly shushed.

After a few minutes of me being pathetic I finally got myself back up and running. "I'm ok now..." I whispered as I rubbed my eyes.

"Jon I did talk with Twilight... She said that you are a very angry person and I have a suggestion. I don't want you to be angry but I think you will feel better if you do it. I have to recommend you do Anger Management." I looked to her before a spike of anger hit me but I quickly took a deep breath knowing it will make my heart hurt.

"Yea... I was thinking that too." I said looking at her. I knew I needed it to help me live now but the problem is I was scared. "But I don't know how."

Nurse Red Line smiled to me. "I can help you. We have a program at the hospital that you can go to help you once you get a little better." I nodded looking back down at my hands as she watched me setting her hands on my shoulder. "I do have good news for you. You can start walking about tomorrow and maybe we can get you signed up tomorrow as well." I nodded as she patted my shoulder. "You focus on being happy and let me focus on keeping that sweet little heart of your's running." I nodded smiling to as she helped me lean back and rest.

"Thank you Nurse Red Line." She nodded smiling. She left closing the door with a quiet click. I leaned back looking up at the ceiling just staring up at the white tiles... I just couldn't sleep now. Fuckin' hell.

Chapter 4: Pure Anger Management

Salt, Anger, And Booze
Part 4: Pure Anger Management

By: Major Frostwing

The next day was weird. They had taken me off of the heart monitor but kept me on the meds and fluids. Weird to be walking on my feet once again. Everything still had a dull throb of pain going through me but I was allowed to walk. Yay fucking me.

I was walking with Nurse Red Line as she showed me to my anger management class. I was a little annoyed by having to do the fucking thing but I needed this. Red Line looked at me as I let out a sigh as I kept pulling my med bag around on that fucking rod with wheels.

"This is a big step to change yourself Jon are you gonna be ok?" She asked as I let out a sigh.

"Not really I just need a beer to be honest... or maybe a cigarette... maybe a bullet to the side of the head." I muttered as she looked at me with those worried eyes. "I'm kidding... I'm just nervous." I said as she patted me on the shoulder.

"Don't worry Jon Anger Management isn't that difficult." I sighed nodding to her. "Remember if you start to get angry you can walk out and come get me." She told me smiling that sweet as honey smile.

We stopped in front of a large set of double doors. I looked above the door seeing the plaque saying what the room was used for. "Anger Management." I let out a sigh as Nurse Red Line pushed the doors open. I looked in the room seeing a few men and women sitting in chairs looking back at me. I saw all the motivational posters in the room which made me want to throw up.

"Ah Nurse Red Heart is this the new member of our group?" A doctor asked walking up to us." I looked him over and knew for a fact I wanted to deck him... Don't ask it was just a feeling. He was a dull blue color white bright yellow hair. I looked to Nurse Red Line as she smiled to me.

"Yes this is Jon. He has a weak heart that can be damaged by his anger. He wants to get it under control." She said as I looked down at the doctor.

"Hello Jon I am Doctor Calm Wind. It is nice to meet you." He held out his hand to me as I grabbed his hand squeezing tight which made him wince. "Q-Quite the strong hand shake you got there Jon." I glared at him as I continued to squeeze but stopped when Nurse Red Line set her hand on my shoulder.

"Jon your heart." She said with a stern look. I released the doctor's hand as I moved into the room walking behind one of the guys sitting in their chair. I grabbed the back of the chair tilting it forward before pulling it out from under him. I slammed the seat down as I sat down. "I'm sorry doctor He really wants to better himself but doesn't know how to do it."

"It's ok Nurse Jon will learn eventually to help himself by riding himself of his anger problems." The Doctor said pulling a new chair out setting it up for the guy who's chair I had taken away from him. "Alright friends we have a new friend joining us would you like to introduce yourself?"

I looked at the doctor before looking at everyone else in the room. "My name is Jon."

"Hello Jon." They all said in a monotone voice.

"I am an angry son of a bitch that pretty much only came here so I don't die... So fuck it." I said as I looked at all the other "Friends".

"It is very nice to meet you Jon. Do you have any hobbies?" Calm Wind asked as I glared at him.

"None of your fucking business Doc." I said leaning back in my chair.

"Alrighty then... Well Jon let's introduce you to our little family." He said as introductions began I didn't really listen.

"Alright everyone I want you to try and write something nice about the person on your right. It could be something simple or something elaborate it doesn't matter just try to be kind to them." I looked to my right seeing a woman with purple fur and orange hair. She looked over at me smiling which I responded by snapping the pencil between my fingers. I smiled as her own faltered. "I see you broke your pencil Jon let me get you another one." The doctor said handing me a new pencil which I snapped in my hand when he looked away.

"Oops." I said as I held my hand out to him as he put a new pencil in my hand this one I snapped as he watched me. "I don't like pencils." I said flatly as I saw my right hand shift from white to black. "Give me your pen." The doctor looked at me with a smile.

"That's not how we ask for things Jon. You need to say please." I got up from my seat seizing the doctor by his lab coat pulling him face to face with me.

"Give me the fucking pen Doc or lose a hand." I threatened as he looked at me still smiling I then noticed his hands moving. I glanced to see everyone in the room had stood up as if to stop me. I looked back at the doctor before holding out my hand. "Please give me the fucking pen." I said through gritted teeth.

"Of course Jon." The doctor said as he dropped the pen into my hand. "Now what do we say?" He asked as I shoved him back before taking my seat. I began writing a few things down on my clipboard not paying any attention to those around me as I continued to write.

"Alright everyone pass the note to the person on your right so they can read what you wrote." I rolled my eyes passing over my message to the woman. I took the one from the guy on my left.

"I like your shirt." I read as I glanced over at him to see him shrug.

"Whatever." I muttered balling up his message before tossing it over my shoulder. I felt a tap on my shoulder looking at the girl I wrote my message to.

"You just wrote a death threat... It isn't even addressed to me." I looked at the message before taking it back and passing her the one I meant to hand to her.

"Damn right that isn't for you." I turned around seeing that fucking parasite in my head. "It's for her." I muttered crumpling up the note throwing it at the shade.

"This one just says shoes... what about my shoes?" She asked as I glared at her.

"The colors match the rest of your outfit. That's it." I went back to glaring at the shade.

"Um Jon we are about to begin the next exercise. What are you looking at?" He asked as I growled looking back at him feeling my anger flare and pain in my chest. I took a gasp of air as I grabbed my chest. "JON!" The doctor rushed forward checking on me. "Breathe Jon calm down think of what makes you happy." I continued to breathe hard as my mind went into a panic. "Fire Light go get Nurse Red Line NOW!" Her ordered as someone ran out of the room.

"Damn this heart." I gasped out as the Doctor tried to calm me down. "It's all her fault."

"Jon I'm here what's wrong?" I heard Nurse Red Line say as she knelt down in front of me setting her hand on my shoulder. I closed my eyes as she pulled out a syringe injecting it into my arm. After a few seconds my heart ceased it's painful tantrum and began to beat normally. I took a few deep breaths to make sure it wasn't going to start back up. "Jon. Are you OK?" She asked as I looked up in her eyes before wrapping her in a hug. The constant fear of my heart just giving up on me was starting to get to me.

I was just so scared and so angry that I couldn't do anything to stop it. "I'll take him back to his room Doctor." Red Line said helping me get to my feet leading me out of the room. She stayed with me the whole way and even talked to me not as a patient but as a friend. That's what I needed most right now was a friend.

Chapter 5: The Parasite

Salt, Anger, And Booze
Part 5: The Parasite

By: Major Frostwing

It has been about 2 months now... Two mother fucking rage inducing months. There were quite a few close calls but my heart has been slowly recovering and my rage levels are way down. I still get annoyed but not to the degree of tackling my doctor... That did happen though. Nurse Red Line has been by my side the entire way. Twilight and the others come and visit me from time to time when they aren't busy. I "enjoy" seeing them and according to Twilight she has a surprise for when I finally get released from here.

Don't know what the fuck they could surprise me with but whatever possible free shit puts me in a better mood.

"Jon it is time for your session." Nurse Red Line said entering my room to see me at a small desk instead of my bed writing stuff down. Doctor Calm Wind is making us write in journals to help us filter out our rage. I have gone through 8 journals this week. Most of it isn't full of anger or rage. They are filled with my notes on psychology and other important research that I could either recall or add.

"Just one second Red." I said as I finished writing down my thought before closing my book. "Alright let's go." I said getting to my feet. They finally took me off the IV and now I just have to take my medication in pill form.

"You are looking a lot better Jon. It has also been a week since your last attack and even that one was minor. Your heart is on it's way to making a full recovery." She said with a smile. I smiled back to her with a cocky grin.

"Was there any doubt that my heart would be good as new?" I asked her tapping her on the shoulder. She giggled at that. We both walked out of the room only for me to run right into Princess Celestia who looked startled at me running into her. "Oh what the fuck." I muttered looking at her with a glare.

"Just the man I was looking for. I would like to speak with you Jon in private if that is possible." Celestia looked to Red who bowed her head to her.

"Sorry Princess but no dice. I got to go to my Anger Management right now we can talk in an hour give or take a half hour." I said with a smile before walking past her when a small Alicorn as they were called standing behind Celestia she was staring right at me with a look of confusion before she looked down at my right hand.

"Sister you didn't tell me he was infected." She whispered to Celestia loud enough that I could hear her.

"He is the one I wanted you to meet Luna." Celestia whispered back.

"Hey Celestia who is this chick?" I asked feeling myself get annoyed but felt Red set her hand on my shoulder. I looked back to her seeing her smile I couldn't help but calm down a bit at seeing her smile to me.

"This is who I want you to meet so can we talk now?" Celestia asked as I looked to her and then back at Red who nodded.

"You got 20 minutes." I said walking back into my room with them all following behind me.

I sat on my bed listening to what Celestia had just told me and couldn't help but stare down at my right hand as she finished.

"So Luna was that chick that infected me with the Parasite. Ok cool why bring it up then. For all you know I could have tackled her to the ground and finished what I started all those months ago." I pointed out tightening my fists before letting them relax.

"Twilight has told me you have been very successful in your recovery with your heart and getting control over your anger. Plus I would have stopped you simple as that." Celestia said as I let out a chuckle.

"So got anyway to get rid of this pest yet?" I asked holding my hand up for her to see.

"Nothing yet. If we use the elements on you it could destroy your hand or worse you entirely. For now all I can suggest is that you continue to deal with it until we can remove it." Celestia said calmly. "I do fear that it is spreading through you even though we have put that seal over your hand." I cocked an eyebrow as she held up a mirror to me so I could see myself that's when I saw it.

My eyes no longer looked normal they had a snake like quality to them. and seemed to be a more vibrant green than before. I glanced up to see my hair was now black with a small patch of purple next to my right eye. I touched the small patch before looking back at Red.

"Oh for fucks sake." I said as I ran my hand through my hair. "I haven't looked in a mirror in over a month." I said with a chuckle.

"How could you have not seen these changes?" Luna asked as Red spoke up for me.

"We noticed that Jon would stare into mirrors for long periods of time but not be looking at himself but something that was always behind him. Whatever he was looking at would cause him to have an attack so I had all mirrors removed from his room and banned them from being near him." Red Explained as she set her hand on my shoulder. "I saw the changes but kept quiet so Jon wouldn't have another attack." I smiled to her understanding why she didn't tell me. Still pissed me off though.

"I see." Celestia said as she made the mirror disappear. "Jon has there been anymore encounters with the parasite?" She asked as I nodded.

"Skitzo remember." I said tapping the side of my head. "She shows up every now and again tries to sound all evil and shit but I don't really listen to her. I have important research to do." I said looking at the wall clock seeing that their 20 minutes were up. "Time's up Princess." I said getting to my feet adjusting my shirt.

"Jon. Something is coming. I can feel it in my heart and I think you need to know about it." I paused as I set my hand on the door knob looking back at Celestia.

"Princess with all due respect. I am just a man with a bad heart and an anger issue. If you are going to rely on me then your world is already doomed." I said bluntly to her before leaving my room I had quite a lot to write in my journal tonight and none of it to kind.

I sat in my room writing my thoughts down on paper. Most of it was incoherent rage ramblings but I wrote it all down with a calm expression on my face. I knew it was late but I couldn't sleep anyway.

"Well well well what do we have here?" I heard a voice echo around me as I looked about my room seeing no one there. I turned back to my journal looking down before turning the page to see a mismatched creature dancing on the page. I looked down at it with a deadpanned expression. "It has been quite some time since I talked with you Jon." The creature wasn't even looking at me as I picked up my book smiling down at it as I ripped the page that held the creature out of the book crumpling it up before tossing it over my shoulder.

"Now that, that is over with." I went back to my writing only to feel a hands on my shoulders. I stopped writing as I calmly set my pen down.

"I think we got off on the wrong hoof let's have a chat you and I." That voice said as I calmly closed my book turning around in my swivel chair. I came face to face with the mismatched creature and only looked at him with a dead panned expression. "My name is Discord. We had a conversation a while ago." He asked in a cheery voice and a smile.

I stood from my chair shoving him out of my way going to my bathroom. The parasite must be getting desperate to make something like that. I began taking a piss when I heard a knock at the door. "I'm taking a piss fuck off." I said to the door. I finished up washing my hands before going back to my desk to continue my work.

"Will you quit ignoring me I'm actually here to have a conversation with you." Discord said as I rolled my eyes.

"What do you want Discord can't you see I am busy?" I asked continuing to write.

"What the hell are you doing in this hospital? I did not mess up Nightmare Moon's summoning spell so you could live comfortably in a boring place like this." My pen froze on the page as I replayed what he said in my head. "You were supposed to cause glorious chaos but instead you are just being lazy." I took a few shaky breaths before setting down my pen.

"Discord are you the one that sent me here?" I asked as I got out of my chair closing my book slowly.

"Of course Salt... Now get off your lazy butt and get to work causing chaos." I looked over my shoulder staring at Discord with a glare.

"I almost forgot about the one who sent me here. I originally thought it was that bitch Nightmare Moon that brought me here but I guess you hold that honor. I got a few things I need to talk to you about as well Discord." I cracked my knuckles seeing Discord look at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Do you honestly think that you can take me child?" Discord asked as I smiled.

"Take you? No. Beat the ever living shit out of you until you beg me to stop? Ooooooh Fuck yes." Discord let out a chuckle before snapping his fingers disappearing.

"We will meet again Jon I want to see that chaos boil over." His voice echoed all around me as I let out a growl sitting back down at my desk. I opened my book to see that all of my writings were replaced with flowers and happy little drawings. My eye twitched as I grabbed the book ripping it in half throwing it all away in my trash can.

"Fucking ugly pest." I muttered under my breath as I pulled out a blank journal and got back to work writing my rage out on paper.

Chapter 6: Rage Boiled Over

Salt, Anger, And Booze
Part 6: Rage Boiled Over

By: Major Frostwing

It has been a week since Discord decided to come and piss me off. Therapy has been good and I feel a lot better. I still got this foreboding feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was writing up a few things in my journal nothing to do with my research or my therapy just something to write. Boredom is starting to become a terrible thing for me.

"Jon are you in here?" Nurse Red Line asked as she knocked on my door.

"Yea I'm just sitting at my desk." I said as I finished up my writing. I looked back to see Nurse Red Line standing with a clipboard in her hands. "What's with the clipboard?" I asked as she smiled to me handing it over. I quickly looked it over before my eyes widened. "Red these are release papers." I said as I saw her signature at the bottom of the page.

"Yes they are Jon. Your heart has passed all the tests set before it and you now have a strong heart once again." Red said with a smile. "I just need you to sign and we can get you out of here." I looked at her and then down at the sheet smiling. I picked up my pen signing my name.

"Thanks Red." I said getting up from my seat handing the clipboard back to her.

"No problem Jon." She said as she wrapped me in a light hug which I returned. "If you feel if there might be something wrong you can always talk to me." She said as I nodded releasing her from the hug. "Let's just get these papers finalized and get you back to your home. Strangely enough Spike is here to pick you up." I cocked an eyebrow at that as that feeling from before returned.

"I thought Twilight would be the one to come get me." I said slightly confused but shrugged as I followed after Red. After a few minutes I was sent on my way.

"Jon I'm so glad you're finally out but we got a problem." Spike said as soon as I saw him.

"Dude I just got out what could possibly be going wrong now?" I asked as he pointed outside at the other six girls standing outside. "Oh for fuck's sake." I muttered walking outside with Spike right behind me.

I scanned the girls over with my eyes and even I could see something was wrong with them. "Jon we are all happy to see you out of the hospital. Right girls?" Twilight asked as if she was forcing them to agree with her. They each seemed to be indifferent towards me except Fluttershy who walked up to me and laughed in my face before slapping me with a giggle. I just looked down at her before rolling my eyes tapping my fist on top of her head.

"Alright the fuck is wrong with all of you? Doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize there is a problem here." I pointed out as Applejack seemed to be shifting her eyes around looking anywhere but me.

"Nope. Nothing wrong here." She said as I rolled my eyes again.

"We can discuss this back at the house Jon." Twilight said as she began walking back to her house I followed but saw that the others went off in their own directions. "Girls we have to stop Discord! Where are you going?" Twilight asked as they all just kept walking.

"Wait did you say Discord?" I asked as I looked at Twilight with a cocked eyebrow.

"Yes. He did something to them and I don't know what to do." Twilight said throwing her hands up in the air.

"First off take me to where Discord is. I got business with him that needs dealt with. After I get there you go deal with the bitch squad back there." I said as I motioned behind me. "Discord comes first though." I said walking past her.

"Jon Discord is the God of Chaos what do you think you can do. Only the Elements of Harmony can stop him." Twilight ran up trying to stop me.

"Listen here Twilight me and Discord have business that needs dealt with. if you guys are the only ones who can stop him. You need to get those fuckers back up and running. That is your job now show me where Discord is before I start getting angry." I said in a calm tone but my eyes said otherwise. Twilight looked at me before slowly nodding taking me right to Discord.

Discord was sitting on a pink throne sipping on chocolate milk when we arrived. He looked up to see me and Twilight. "Ah if it isn't Twilight and Salt. Have you come to try and stop me?" He asked as he set his glass down.

"Twilight you can go do what you need to do." I said to her as she just looked at me then at Discord and then back to me. "Twilight I said go." Twilight flinched before nodding taking off in a mad sprint.

"We got business to talk about Discord." I said as I rolled my shoulder.

"Indeed we do Salt. Have you come to throw in with me?" Discord asked as he snapped his fingers appearing before me.

"Nah I told you what I was gonna do to you. So let's just get this over with ya big bitch." I said cracking my knuckles. Discord only threw back his head laughing at me. I reared back my fist blasting him in the gut with my right fist. Discord ceased his laughter hunching over in pain. "I'm gonna make you hurt you ugly mother fucker." I whispered to him as I seized Discord by his horns bringing his head down as I brought my knee up cracking him right in the jaw. I let go as I straightened my leg out straight kicking Discord into his throne which broke as he collided with it.

I smiled as i looked down at my right fist seeing the purple and black lightning arc around it. I looked up to see part of the throne flying right at me. I side stepped the flying piece of furniture watching it collide with a tree bowling it over. "YOU LITTLE STAIN!" Discord yelled as he got back to his feet.

"Well shit I knew that wouldn't keep you down but I didn't think you would get so angry." I said with a smile rolling my shoulder. "You finally ready to go now or do you need a warm up?" I asked as Discord snapped his fingers as a large sword appeared in his hand. I flexed my right hand feeling the lightning arc through my hand.

"I was wrong to make you come here. I can fix this mistake." Discord walked forward slowly dragging the blade behind him as he walked towards me. "Simply by killing you and scattering your remains to the winds." Discord hefted the large great sword above his head and was about to swing down when I raised my right hand. I flicked my wrist as the sword was flung out of his hand.

"Discord did you really think I would just sit still while you prepared to take over this little world?" I asked with a smirk. I flicked my wrist as the great-sword landed next to me. "I did some research my ugly friend. I learned how to mess with you. Also I learned how to hurt you no matter how you try to stop me." I tilted my neck cracking it before taking hold of the blade.

The blade glowed a dark purple as it shifted in my grasp. "What in Tartarus are you? This is not the creature I summoned into this world."

"What's wrong Discord? I thought you liked a good change up?" I asked as I lifted the blade up setting it on my shoulder. "As long as I got this bracer you can't stop me." I pointed out with a smirk.

Discord let out a growl as he summoned another blade charging at me. I only shrugged as I blocked his strike with my own blade. "Then I will just get rid of it then." I shrugged at him rearing back my left fist cracking him in the nose. He backed up holding his nose.

"Keep trying Discord. You might just get me by being. Oh I don't know a chaotic being you claim to be." I taunted as Discord raised his hand snapping his fingers at me. I cocked an eyebrow as a wall of air detonated in front of me. I felt my body go weightless before G's took hold of me as I was flung back down to the ground with a solid thud. I let out a cough as I slowly got back to my feet only to feel my back being stomped on. A hand seized me by my right arm before taking hold of the bracer.

"This bracer doesn't seem that important. Oh well." Discord ripped off the bracer as I smiled.

"Sorry Discord... I FUCKING LIED!" I felt the lightning arc through my entire body as I pushed myself up looking at Discord. "That thing didn't give me power. It locked it away." Discord looked at me confused until my skin shifted turning pitch black. "Now let's get this party started." I launched myself forward gripping Discord by his throat lifting him up and spiking him down into the ground. I grabbed him by his leg throwing him up in the air. I seized Discord by the leg with my magic as I brought him back down creating a crater with his body. "I SAID I WOULD MAKE YOU HURT YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKER!" I picked up my sword giving it a spin before throwing it down into Discord's shoulder.

I heard him let out a yell of pain as I jumped down next to him. "What the hell are you?" Discord asked as I tapped my chin setting my foot on the blade pressing it in slowly.

"I think while I am like this you can call me Salt." I stamped my foot down on the handle of the sword hard as he grabbed me by my other leg. "Get off of me peasant." I said stomping him once in the face.

"JON!" I glanced out of the crater seeing Twilight with the others looking down at me and Discord. I smiled waving at her.

"Hey Twilight you mind dealing with this trash?" I asked stomping on Discord once again.

"Sure..." Twilight said looking unsure as I Stamped down on the hilt of the sword effectively pinning Discord to the ground.

I jumped out of the crater looking down at Discord. "Twilight if you would kindly." I said as they floated into the air blasting Discord with a large rainbow beam. After their beam was done I walked back picking up my bracer attaching it over my right arm. I felt a burning sensation as I returned to normal with a cough. "Ugh fuck that." I said scrunching up my face.

I turned back to see the girls still watching me with slacked jaws. I let out a shrug jumping back into the crater. I reached out to touch the blade sticking out of Discord only to recoil in pain when I touched it with my right hand. "FUCK!" I yelled as I looked down at my hand to see it smoking I shook it out as I reached out taking hold of the blade with my left hand pulling the sword out effortlessly. "Stupid fucking harmony magic burning my good hand." I grumbled as I walked out of the crater stopping before the girls leaning on the blade. "So... I guess I got some explaining to do don't I?" I asked with a smirk as they only nodded. "Cool let's go chat." I said as I carried the blade on my shoulders.

After a few minutes at Twilight's tree house I had explained everything to them as best as I could. "Wait wait wait." Twilight said as I nodded my head at her. "How did you get that Bracer off? We enchanted it so you couldn't take it off yourself." Twilight asked as I let out a chuckle.

"Simple I tricked Discord into taking the damn thing off. I needed him to so I could use NM." I got a few quirked eyebrows at that.

"Who in Tarnation is NM?" Applejack asked as I held up my right fist.

"NM is what I decided to call the parasite since the magic is powered by anger. NM is just the abbreviation of Nightmare Moon." I said as I lowered my hand rolling my shoulder. "Anyway I told Discord that the Bracer is what made me strong he fell for it and removed it himself. I warned him I was gonna make him hurt for what he did to me. He is the reason I am here after all." I pointed out casually.

"WHAT!?" They all yelled as I scratched the back of my head.

"Did I forget to mention that was the business me and Discord had?" I asked as they all let out groans. "Guess I did well that is why I wanted to deal with Discord. I still can't take the damn Bracer off but I can still put it on after I am done with using NM." I said as I took hold of the bracer trying to pull it off only for it to not budge. "See stuck like a nail in wood." I pointed out as I looked over at the still glowing blade in the corner of the room.

"Doesn't explain the large blade of corruption you were wielding." Twilight pointed out as I got to my feet going into the kitchen pulling a knife out of it's block.

"I'm gonna show you how I did it. I think I have a way to reverse it." I said as I switched the knife into my right hand I focused on the blade as darkness took hold of the blade corrupting it as it shifted it's form to be more to my needs. "If I focus on NM's magic I can use the dark magic to corrupt items to my design." I said as I spun the knife around in my right hand. "Now onto how I can reverse it." I took the knife still moving it between my fingers.

I stopped next to the large glowing blade tossing the knife down to the ground sticking it into the floor. I grabbed the glowing blade with my left hand tapping the knife on the hilt as the darkness came off of the blade in wisps until the blade was purified of it's corruption. "I think I have come up with the name for this blade." I said as I lifted the blade up to my shoulders I reached down lifting the knife with my right hand corrupting it once again.

"Jon what are you doi-" Twilight began as I tossed the blade up into the air before swinging the great sword right through the knife the blade seemed to drag through the ground before being moved onto my back. "JON WHAT ARE YOU DOING SWINGING THAT THING IN H-" I held up my hand stopping her before pointing down at where my sword dragged through the floor only for no damage done to the floor.

"I purified the knife as well." I pointed out as I set the large great sword against the wall before picking up the knife. "I think I will call it Solaris." I said as put the knife back. "And apparently that blade only cuts corruption which is cool but now I need a second blade I can have corrupted so I can fight other creatures... I feel as if I am going to be fighting a lot of things soon..." I said as I sat down on the couch staring at the blade. "Twilight get me a second great sword made just like Solaris."

"But why would you need a blade of corruption?" She asked as I smiled.

"Darkness hurts darkness. Light can purify that Darkness but Darkness can kill that darkness. And before you say anything about killing being wrong sometimes fear is the only thing to negate a fight." I smiled as I brushed my fingers against the face of the blade. "So get me a second blade so I may have the set." I said as I took hold of Solaris looking down at the blade with anger in my eyes. I have a lot of work ahead of me... I just got out of the hospital too god dammit.

Chapter 7: One of Light and One of Dark

Salt, Anger, And Booze
Part 7: One of Light and One of Dark

By: Major Frostwing

I smiled as I held the large great sword in my right hand looking it over closely before looking at Solaris. "It's perfect." I said with a smile as I slid Solaris into it's holster on my back as I corrupted the other blade. I looked it over now as it darkened and twisted seeming to grow serrations on it's blade.

"I still don't get why you wanted a corrupted blade. I get that you want to fight darkness but why?" Twilight asked as as looked back at her with a shrug.

"Sounds like fun to be honest." I said as I swung the blade a few times with one arm. "Bitches should call me Nightmare with what I use." Then it hit me as I looked down at the blade I held. "I think I will call you... Umbra." I said with a smile.

"Oh Jon I got a letter earlier today. Princess Celestia has requested to see you in Canterlot." Twilight said as I shrugged sliding the blade home into it's own holster on my back crossing with Solaris.

"Well let's get going then." I said as I shrugged my shoulders. "Remind me to thank Rarity for making these holsters for Solaris and Umbra. They fit perfectly and don't touch each other as well." I smiled as I pulled a pair of gloves out of my pocket sliding them over my hands. "Also for the gloves as well." I said with a chuckle.

"The girls will be coming with us as well." Twilight said as I motioned for her to move. "I wonder what the Princess wants from us?" Twilight asked as i thought about it.

"I would guess there is a beeper that goes off when my bracer comes off. The only reason I can think she didn't come down was because it got put back on so quickly." I said with a chuckle. "It's to be expected honestly." I said as we made our way to the train station to be met with the others. "This should be fucking joy inducing." I said with annoyance.

The ride to Canterlot was annoying to be honest... They didn't want me carrying the blades in the main car so I had to put them in storage. Not to mention The girls mostly ignored me as I just sat there staring out the window watching the world pass me by. I don't like Trains they are slow and annoying.

Once we had stopped at the train station I had retrieved Solaris and Umbra. It felt good to have them both back on my person I was paranoid by nature and having a weapon on me put my mind at ease until I started running scenarios through my head... Then I became even more paranoid.

We decided to make our way straight towards the castle as that was the best course of action we could take. Celestia did want to see me and I wanted to show off my new swords to her. Once at the gates I got stopped and told to remove my weapons and leave them with the guard. I was not happy.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T HAVE MY SWORDS!?" I yelled in the face of the guard in front of me.

"I-I'm sorry sir but it is the rules. No Civilians are to have weapons in the castle." He said clearly cowering before me as I reached up setting my hand on his head tightening my grip on the helmet.

"I am going into the castle with my blades I do not care if you have guards escorting me but you can't touch my blades. Got it worm?" I said continuing to tighten my grip as he dropped to one knee.

"Y-yes sir." He said as I pulled his helmet off of his head tightening my fist all the way crushing the helmet in my grip.

"MOVE IT!" I bellowed as he got to his feet running off.

"Jon for once in your life can you just not cause problems?" Twilight asked as I looked back at her.

"Twilight I am not leaving a sword that is pure corruption in the hands of people that can't control it. Nor am I leaving a sword of pure harmony in their hands. Think before you open that mouth of yours." I said motioning for them to go ahead of me. "Tell Celestia that I will be in shortly just got to deal with customs first." They all nodded walking forward as I then looked down at the helmet in my grip.

"Now how do I get my hand out of this...? Fucking dammit." I muttered as I tried to relax my hand only to realize that it was completely stuck. "Oh double fuck." I muttered as I tried to pry the helmet off of my hand. "Fucking shitty ass helmet getting stuck on my hand." I continued to pull on the helmet.

"HALT!" I looked up to see a squad of 10 guards advancing towards me.

"Hey guys mind passing a bit of help my way." I said still pulling with all my might on the helmet only for it to not budge.

"No we are to escort you to the dungeons." I paused pulling to look up at them.

"Armor say what?" I asked as two of the guards seized me by my arms pulling them behind my back "HEY! Fuck off I got a meeting with the Princess." I said as I felt my hands being handcuffed.

"You are under arrest for assaulting a royal guard." The leader said as I looked up at him glaring daggers into him. "Remove his weapons and escort him to the dungeons."

"Yes Captain." The other 9 said acknowledging his orders one came forward with a knife about to cut off my holsters when I launched my leg forward kicking him right on the front of his knee to a satisfying crack of bone. The other guards were about to react when I used my head to headbutt one of the guards holding me knocking him off of me. I pulled my arms apart breaking my bonds as I used my right hand which still held the crushed helmet on it to crack the other guard holding me in the face with it. He stumbled back holding his face as I drew Solaris giving it a single spin.

"COME ON!" I yelled motioning for them to come at me. They each drew their sword ready to charge me.

"CEASE THIS FIGHTING!" A voice boomed as all the guards sheathed their swords turning and bowing to someone in the shadows. I looked up to see it was Luna walking towards me. she took hold of the helmet in her magic prying it off of my hand. "Sir Jon." She said calmly as I sheathed Solaris. "My sister is waiting for you in the throne room." I nodded to her walking forward when a hand was placed on my shoulder.

"Hold it you are still under arrest." I looked down at the hand on my shoulder before looking back to see it was the Captain holding me back.

I set my right hand over his. Just a poke is all I need. I focused on my magic as Electricity arced up his arm forcing him to release me. "Don't ever lay your hands on me again. Next time I will be cruel." I said as I rolled my shoulders moving forward. "You should get his knee looked at I did break it after all." I let out a laugh as I walked with Luna down the halls towards the throne room.

Didn't take long for me and Luna to arrive at the throne room to see Celestia looking down at me with a disapproving stare. "Who pissed in your cheerios this morning?" I asked walking forward.

"Jon about 2 days ago A magical message was sent to me informing me that your bracer was removed. Would you like to explain yourself?" She asked as I shrugged.

"I tricked Discord into taking it off so I could pound his dumb ass into the dirt. Simple really and worked like a charm." I said as Celestia still had that disappointed look on her face.

"I am surprised that the girls were able to subdue you." I cocked an eyebrow at that.

"They didn't subdue me I put the damn thing on myself." I said as she looked at me confused.

"But how the dark magic should have corrupted your mind and driven you to madness." I let out a laugh.

"Heeeeeelllloooooo!" I knocked on the side of my head still laughing. "Already lost my mind not much else to lose up there." I let my laughter die down as I reached up pulling Solaris off of my back. "Plus because of that fight with discord I was able to get this sweet fucking sword." I said setting it down in front of me leaning on it. "I call it Solaris. A blade of Harmony that can purify corruption." Celestia stood from her throne walking down to me reaching out to touch Solaris only for me to move it out of her reach.

"Jon let me see that blade." Celestia said as she held her hand out to me.

"Let me think about it... No." I said as I sheathed the blade on my back. "This is my sword and I don't want anyone to hold it except me." I said as I reached up for Umbra drawing it and doing the same as I did with Solaris. I leaned on it. "This is my second blade. I call it Umbra." Celestia backed away from the blade appalled by it.

"Why would you dare bring a blade of corruption into my throne room?" She asked as I looked down at Umbra tilting it slightly before shrugging.

"Would you trust me to just leave it behind where it's corruption could spread as it wishes? This is so I can kill corruption instead of purify it." I said flatly as I lifted the blade sliding it home in it's sheath. "And don't give me your killing is wrong speech I'm not tired." I said with a wave of my hand.

"You try my patience Jon." Celestia threatened as I cracked a sly smile.

"Start something Princess I fucking dare you. I'm not the same man that arrived all those months ago." I said as Celestia seemed to be grinding her teeth together when Luna stepped between us.

"Sister. Sir Jon can still be of use to us we can't destroy him... yet." Luna said to Celestia as I rolled my eyes.

"Hey don't fucking talk as if I am not here." I yelled at her as she waved her hand to the side to tell me to be quiet. I clicked my tongue as I turned away from them content on ignoring the princesses.

I leaned my back against a pillar looking about the room as the girls seemed to be listening to what the princesses were talking about. I looked at all of the windows seeing the light pour in when I was drawn to a figure standing next to me.

"What do you want Nightmare?" I asked the shade as she was leaning against the same pillar as me.

"Nothing just thought I would show myself to you and see why you haven't kill Celestia yet."

"Simple really. She might be able to send us home... well except you of course but that is neither here nor there." I said with a shrug.

"I guess they want to try and use you as some sort of final weapon. At least that is what Luna is trying to pitch. Why they would choose a freak like you is beyond me." Nightmare pointed out with a smug smile.

"Sometimes you need a freak to fight a freak. Who cares I look forward to what is coming."

"So you can feel it as well." Nightmare said as I nodded. "Good we can prepare for the worst." I pushed myself off of the pillar as I stretched my arms to a loud set of cracks.

"Sir Jon we have come to a conclusion." Luna said as I walked over.

"Jon you are to stay with Twilight and the others and aid them in their fight against corruption and darkness. It will be a hard fought battle bu-" Celestia explained as I held up my hand stopping her.

"If I do this and the elements don't work against something. I will handle it my way no trying to stop me and no getting in my way. I will not talk about it afterwards and I will not explain my actions." I said calmly but everyone could see it in my eyes. I would slaughter something if it meant it was stopped. "Are we clear on this Princess?" I asked extending my left hand. Celestia looked down at my hand before taking hold of it with her own left. We shook once before I turned away. "If that is all. I want to go home and get some sleep." I said as Celestia only let out a sigh.

Chapter 8: I'm Not Stupid

Salt, Anger, And Booze
Part 8: I'm Not Stupid

By: Major Frostwing

-6 Months Later-

"Jon!? Where are you!?" Twilight asked as I glanced down from my perch in Twilight's tree. I rolled my eyes as I pulled something out of my pocket dropping it by her head.

"What do you need?" I asked as she looked up. "I was trying to get a nap." I complained as she rolled her eyes.

"Jon I just got a message from my brother Shining Armor." She yelled up as I rolled from my branch falling to the ground landing on my feet.

"Who?" I asked as Twilight let out a sigh.

"My brother Shining Armor... Captain of the Royal guard..." She said trying to get me to remember him. She let out a sigh face-palming. "You punched him in the face last time we went to Canterlot."

"OH!" I said as I smacked my forehead with a laugh. "That was your brother? He was kind of a tool to be honest." Twilight raised her hands in the air about to yell at me. "Twilight don't yell at me. I won't listen anyway." She stammered trying to think of some way to berate me before she gave up.

"Anyway he sent me an invitation to his wedding." I nodded before thinking about it.

"And? What does this have to do with me?" I asked as Twilight sighed.

"He sent you an invite as well." Now that is weird.

"Excuse me but I don't want to go. Weddings don't have enough... Pain and sorrow you know stuff that make me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside." I said as Twilight whapped me upside the head. "I was kidding but seriously I don't want to go. I don't like weddings came to terms I was never going to have one so I don't like them."

"What about Nurse Red Line?" Twilight asked as I looked away from her scratching the back of my head.

"We... are going slow... You know nothing really serious yet but you know... SHUT UP!" I yelled as I looked away from her hearing her giggle.

"Anyway he invited you and it would be appreciated if you would show up." I rolled my eyes groaning.

"Fine I'll go but I am not getting him shit for a wedding present." I said as Twilight just gave me a flat look.

-Canterlot Castle-

-2 weeks later-

"Jon why are you being so sour right now?" Red asked as I sat next to the window with my arms crossed.

"I had to put my swords in storage... I don't like them being so far away from me..." I muttered as I shuffled deeper into my seat. "Why can't I just have my swords on the train not like I am going to use them." I said as Red put an arm around my shoulders pulling me close to her.

"Don't worry Jon it's only a little longer before you can have your swords once again." Red said as I continued to be annoyed.

"Uh guys there is some weird dome surrounding Canterlot." Rainbow said as I looked out the window to see a large dome surrounding Canterlot. "Twilight do you know what that is?" Rainbow asked as she stared at the dome.

"It's a protective shield to keep corruption and darkness away." Twilight explained as all of the girls looked to me.

"So how the fuck am I supposed to get in?" I asked as they all thought about it.

"I have no idea Jon." Twilight said solemnly.

The train stopped just outside the protective dome as we all gathered our stuff. I felt better to finally have my swords back but now it is time to try and get in.

I watched as Twilight and the others entered into the dome and I put my right hand against the dome only to feel a searing pain rocket up my arm. "GOD FUCK!" I yelled shaking out my hand. I let out a growl as I drew Solaris shoving it through the dome as an opening was made for me. "I fucking hate this damn corruption." I muttered as I moved into the dome before sheathing Solaris.

"Jon... What is wrong with you?" Twilight asked as I shrugged.

"A lot I guess." I said as I was blind sided by a group of guards tackling me. "GAH WHAT THE FUCK!" I yelled as I felt them restraining me. "ONE FUCKING TIME I JUST WANT TO NOT BE TACKLED BY THE DAMN GUARDS!"

"CAPTAIN WE CAUGHT ONE!" One of the guards yelled as Shining walked forward but when he saw me he face palmed.

"SHINING GET THESE FUCKS OFF OF ME OR I WILL GIVE YOU A SECOND BLACK EYE!" I yelled at him as I felt one of the guards punched me in the back of the head.

"BE SILENT WORM!" He yelled as my eye twitched.

"Guards return to your post this one is allowed in." The guards slowly let go of me as I got back to my feet rubbing the back of my head.

"Which one of you fucks hit me?" I looked at them as none of them fessed up. I looked at one of the guards that tried to sneak away. "YOU!" I yelled as I charged him tackling him to the ground. "YOU CUM GUZZLING THUNDER CUNT!" I yelled as I picked up his head slamming it to the ground knocking him out before getting to my feet. "Alright the debt has been paid." I said brushing myself off.

"Jon will you not try and hospitalize my guards?" Shining asked as I shrugged.

"He hit me first. I repaid in spades." I said as I moved to our group looking down at Red as she gave me a scolding look.

"Jon..." She said as she placed her hands on her hips tapping her foot. I tried to stay strong in this adversity but alas I am a man and thus. I can't do fuck all against this.

I turned to Shining sighing. "Sorry for attacking your guards..." I grumbled out not looking at him.

Everyone looked shock that I openly just apologized about my actions. "Can we just go to the castle?" I asked trying to hide my face as Red took hold of my hand.

"Yes... uh... let's." Shining said motioning for us to follow him.

The Castle was still as boring as I thought it was going to be but now there was a lot of activity of people running around as if they were chickens with no heads. Heh... Needless violence... oh yes where was I? Oh right the castle. Anyway the castle had many people running around preparing for the royal wedding that was to take place.

I was nearly bowled over by a servant running with a roll of fabric. I already knew today was gonna be bad and a horrible feeling of foreboding gripping my soul. I looked around to see a few of the servants lock eyes with me before going back to their tasks.

A pink furred woman walked forward wearing a pink dress with two woman flanking her on both sides. Twilight ran up to her with a smile.

"Cadence I didn't know you were going to be the bride." She said before doing some weird little dance and chant only for Cadence to cock an eyebrow at her. She looked away from Twilight before looking up at Shining with a smile her smile vanished as she glanced at me only to be replaced by a look of sickness.

Something about this woman made me want to shove Umbra through her chest cavity and parade her corpse through the streets. I tightened my right hand until I felt my glove tear from the strain. I glanced down at the glove before sliding my hand into my pocket.

"Jon everything alright?" Red asked as I nodded to her.

"Yea let's just say I got a feeling." I said as I walked past this Princess Cadence and Shining shoving them out of my way. I sent a glare at Cadence which she returned. I mouthed one single word at her before I continued on my way.

"Bitch." Was the word I mouthed to her. Once I was sure she got the message I made my way towards where my room would be. I had to play this one a little close to the chest since I could feel more than one set of eyes on me. Looks like someone might be a little angry at me. Good it wouldn't be fun any other way.

Once I reached my room I set down both my bags and Red's we were sharing a room and I think that would be the best course of action. I took Umbra off of my back looking it over carefully before sliding it home and drawing Solaris. I saw the blade pulse with energy before it seemed to pick up it's pace as a knock came to my door.

I looked up at the door before slowly moving forward Solaris still drawn. I pulled the door open to see a servant holding a tray. "Room service." The man said as I looked him over he was tan with blonde hair.

"Name?" I asked as he paused.

"Bell Chime." He said as I nodded grabbing him by his suit coat yanking him into the room kicking the door close as I raised Solaris up to his neck.

"Scream and I will take your head off. We clear?" I asked as he nodded. "Who the fuck are you people and what do you want? An invasion of this scale is well planned out and difficult to pull off so start talking." I pushed Solaris up so it was touching his neck directly as I saw small wisps of green fire burn off whatever disguise he had.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." He said as he raised his hands. I pulled the blade back as I swung it slicing through him as his disguise disappeared in a flash of green fire. The tan guy I was holding a second ago was replaced by a man with black plate like skin almost like an insect.

"I want you to send a message to your leader and you will say it word for word to her face." I said as I sheathed Solaris lifting him up in the air by his throat. "We clear?" I asked as he gagged nodding in my grip. "Tell them. I look forward to you fucking trying bitch." I said as I pulled him down to be face to face with me he looked sick to his stomach. "Get your disguise back up and clean yourself up I want a glorious fight when it all goes down. So as long as you fucks don't get caught you all get to live a little longer. I will be waiting for it all to go down." I set him back down on his feet.

"Why not just turn me in to the guards?" He asked massaging his throat.

"Simple." I said cracking a malicious smile. "I want as much pain and suffering as possible." He seemed to go a little green in the face as he put his hand over his mouth. "What do I make you sick?" I asked as I thought about kicking him in the gut for kicks.

"No it is your emotions they are eclipsed by that rage you have. Changelings hate the taste of rage it is disgusting. I has such a rancid flavor to it and I can taste it radiating off of you." I smiled at that little bit of information.

"But anyway I will not interfere with your boss's plans until it all goes down tell her to bring her "A" game. NOW GET THE FUCK OUT!" I yelled as he quickly threw up his disguise picking up his tray leaving my room as if nothing happened. I took a seat on the edge of my bed steepling my fingers as a smile spread across my face.

"Oh fuck I am gonna have so much fun... Can't wait to gut that bitch." I said with a shudder of anticipation. I just felt so happy.

Chapter 9: Prepping The Plan

Salt, Anger, And Booze
Part 9: Prepping The Plan

By: Major Frostwing

I was following Twilight around the castle as she was supposed to be making sure everything was in order for the wedding. I was just bored.

"Ok first off we are to make sure the dress is complete. Rarity is doing that. Then we go to catering. Applejack has that covered. Then the music. Fluttershy's department. And finally we are to make sure the reception is well prepared... Pinkie will be doing that." Twilight explained as I just followed behind her slowly losing my cool.

"Yay." I said enthusiastically. I think I should have just gone and hunted down a few of the changelings but I was keeping my promise of not bothering them until the opportune time.

"You could try to sound a little excited Jon... It is a big wedding after all." I rolled my eyes as Twilight's voice just seemed to annoy me more. I saw a maid set their hand over their mouth letting out a cough. There is another one. So many things I could run my blade through and no way I could just do it yet. Depressing.

"Yea cool." I muttered as we made our way into a room with large rolls of fabric lining it's walls. I looked about with disinterest as Rarity's voice caught my attention.

"Darling's it is so good to see you I was just finishing up on the dress." Rarity said as I looked over to see a shining white and gold dress. I cocked an eyebrow at it but shrugged. I don't know shit about fashion except that everything goes with blue jeans. "Darling what happened to your gloves?" Rarity asked walking up to me looking over my right hand.

"Must have scuffed it when the guards tackled me." I lied as Rarity let out a sigh passing me a new set.

"Well it is a good thing I always carry a spare around just in case." I nodded my thanks taking the gloves before replacing them on my hands. I tightened my hands into fists feeling how they gave a little more than before. "Now I must get back to work on this dress." Rarity said skipping over to the dress.

"Women and their dresses." I said with a roll of my eyes. Just as I began shaking my head the door behind us was opened I looked over my shoulder to see Cadence entering flanked by her bride's maids I saw all of them seem to go a little green in the face as they entered. Three more now this is getting interesting. I toned down my anger as they seemed to return to normal. "Well if it isn't the bride." I said with a smile.

"Yes it is now move I would like to see my dress." Cadence said as she moved me aside with a light shove. I went with it as I saw her glare at me from the corner of her eye. She must have gotten my message. She walked up to where the dress was looking it over with a critical eye before moving it slightly. "I don't like it there are to many frills. Redo it at once." Cadence said with a stomp of her foot. Rarity seemed to pale at that.

"A-at once your majesty." Rarity said as she magicked away the dress before restarting from scratch. Cadence turned around promptly leaving the room as Twilight tried to console her friend. I only kept my eyes on Cadence as my smile threatened to split my face. I composed myself as Twilight had motioned for me to follow. I didn't right away as I turned to Rarity.

"Hey Rarity keep the white and gold dress just in case." I told her as she looked up at me.

"Darling. She said she didn't like it I can't keep it." I shook my head with a smile.

"I'm sure "Cadence" will come around to love it." I said putting extra emphasis on the name as Rarity looked at me confused. "Trust me I know what I am doing." I said giving her a wave as I ran after Twilight.

Applejack's little encounter with Cadence was just like Rarity's but I kept my mouth shut. Fluttershy's was a little worse and I almost lost my composure and put my own plan into action. I have to remain vigilant until the right time but fuck was she making this hard. I think she was purposely trying to get a rise out of me. Wouldn't be fun if it was easy.

Pinkie has doubled her efforts to try and impress Cadence with the party she has planned. A futile effort especially since I know that this Cadence was such a blatant fake that it hurt to watch. I was the only one who saw the signs while everyone chocked it up to pre-wedding jitters.

Later in the night I stood outside of the room that Twilight and her friends were listening in on what they were talking about. Twilight was trying to point out that something was wrong with Cadence but everyone again said Pre-wedding jitters. Idiots.

"I am more concerned about Jon to be honest." Fluttershy said as everyone looked to her. "Something seems to be bothering him."

"Did he say to any of you?" Rarity asked as Applejack, Fluttershy, and Pinkie all nodded. "What did he say?" She asked as Applejack shrugged.

"Something about Cadence would love my cooking. It was weird to be honest." Applejack said as Fluttershy nodded.

"Oh yes. He told me that Cadence would love the music I composed." Pinkie slammed her hands on the table.

"He told me Cadence was probably a party animal and that I should make the party even bigger." Pinkie smiled as Rarity put a hand under her chin thinking.

"He told me to keep the dress that Cadence said she hated. He told me that Cadence would love the dress I made." That got them all thinking.

"Why is Jon being so nice?" Rainbow asked as it all hit them.

"It doesn't make sense Jon has never been so kind as to openly try and make us feel better. He normally berates us or tries to start trouble." Twilight said trying to come up with some sort of explanation. "He didn't once try to start trouble all day he didn't even yell at anybody today."

"That is weird. Do you think he is trying to keep himself in check so the wedding goes off without a hitch? Could that explain why he was being so nice?" Pinkie asked as Twilight just shrugged.

"I don't know but let's not say anything to Jon you know how he gets when you point out what he is doing." Twilight said as they all nodded in agreement. I slowly moved away from the door making my way towards my room. Red was waiting for me after all.

The next few days were just like the first. I kept myself in check as Twilight began putting the pieces together. Today was the day before the wedding and there was to be the practice wedding. That's when everything came to a head.

"I want you to be my best man Jon." Shining told me as he had pulled me aside to speak to me.

"Cool I can do that." I said being calm on the outside but on the inside I was pissed. That bitch had put me in the one spot where she would have perfect view of me at all times. I got locked in the one spot that put's me at the disadvantage I would have to over power both Celestia and Shining just to get a good swing on her with Solaris. FUCK!

"Good you will need to wear a tuxedo for the ceremony I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all Shining go tell Cadence I will happily be your best man." I said as I shoved him to the side as I made my way towards the throne room all the while letting my rage build and radiate through my body. I saw two maids collapse as I walked past them and contemplated whether I should kill them on the spot. This bitch wanted to play hard ball fine we can play hard ball. I'll bring the damn bat.

The ceremony was beginning and Celestia tried to convince me to not have my blades present for it. I laughed in her face at her even trying and told her one simple thing.

"If I don't have my swords I don't show up simple as that. You want me to be your last resort I'm gonna be armed like one." I told her as I walked past her a smug smile on my face. Her annoyed face was perfect for improving my mood.

The ceremony was going pretty well all things considered right up until Twilight showed up to call out Cadence being a fake.

"She is Evil why am I the only one who see's this?" Twilight asked as I looked at everyone being appalled by this call out I was just pissed. She was ruining everything.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Cadence asked as she began crying. I cocked my eyebrow looking to her out of the corner of my eye before going back to my neutral expression looking down at Twilight.

"Jon you can feel evil because of your right hand I know you can feel it she is evil. Please I know you can tell." Twilight practically begged me as I looked down at her shaking my head.

"Twilight if Cadence was evil and that Shining was under some sort of spell like you said I would be able to tell. One the bracer I am wearing would throb. Two Umbra would be billowing off corruption just by being near them." I lied smoothly as I looked down at her but for a fraction of a second I pointed out of the room so only she would see. "There is nothing out of the ordinary here Twilight." I hoped she would get my message but then Shining stepped forward.

Shining proceeded to yell at Twilight before finishing it off that she should just leave. I knew Shining was under a spell but even that should have hurt the real him. I shrugged as I began walking out on the ceremony.

"Uh Jon we are not done here." Red said as I set my hand on her head before walking off out of the door stopping as I exited making sure the doors were closed before taking a deep breath.

My actions next could be best described as destructive and violent. I grabbed the first guard I saw that seemed to be effected by my rage billowing off of me. I dragged him into a nice deserted section of the castle. The entire way he was gagging and tried to not throw up at being so close to me. Once I knew we were alone I pulled out Solaris shoving it through his chest dissolving his disguise with a smile.

"I got a message for you little bug." I said slamming him into a wall drawing Umbra. "You scream and I will kill you we clear?" I asked as he nodded. "Tell your leader I am going to enjoy killing her. And just so she knows how serious I am." I removed my glove on my right hand with my teeth before slamming it onto of his head as I poured corruption into his head. His head rolled to the side as I released him.

I slid the glove back onto my hand as I rolled my wrist. "Get you disguise back up bug. And hurry up I have other things to worry about." I slid Umbra back into it's holster. "I suggest running before I decide to kill you." I heard the clatter of metal as he ran off in the opposite direction of me.

I smiled as I heard a door close behind me. I turned walking towards my room I needed to relax before I killed someone.

I was sitting in my room looking over Umbra carefully when Nightmare took a seat next to me. "Has the drone made it into position?" I asked her as she nodded. "Did he deliver the message?" I asked as I took the glove off of my right hand.

"He just got there." Nightmare said as she smiled. "He just relayed your message. Now would be good." Nightmare said as I nodded snapping my fingers. "Congratulations the drone is now dead at that bitch's feet." I nodded as I slid my glove back on. "You think she got the real message you sent?"

"That I don't need to be in the same room to kill her subjects? I think she now sees me as a real threat now." I slid Umbra into it's holster as I laid back on the bed staring at the ceiling. "Tomorrow is when our plan comes to fruition. I hope they all love the fireworks." I said as Nightmare let out a cackle of laughter disappearing into the recesses of my mind.

Chapter 10: Feed On My Rage

Salt, Anger, And Booze
Part 10: Feed On My Rage

By: Major Frostwing

I stood at my spot next to Shining Armor and Celestia my hands crossed behind my back. I was waiting... I knew that the fun was going to start soon. Nightmare walked up behind me tapping me on the shoulder. "I have located Twilight and the real Cadence they are on their way up." Nightmare said as I smiled adjusting my tie.

"Good." I said in my head as she disappeared into the recesses of my mind. I heard the organ kick up as The fake Cadence began her walk down the isle. I was still smiling as I patted Shining on his shoulder as if to tell him good job. In reality I was tapping him with a small shock of corruption trying to break whatever hold on him she had. It was a long shot but I hoped that it would work.

"Cadence" had finally arrived at the podium as Celestia cleared her throat. "Dearly beloved we are gathered here today..." Celestia began as I looked at the door leading to the wedding with a smile on my face.

"Any second now." I said to myself as Celestia continued with her ceremony. "Any second now..." I said getting a little impatient as my foot began tapping. "Taking your sweet time..." I said as my tapping got louder and louder.

"If anyone objects to this bonding of two lovers speak now or forever hold your piece." Celestia said as silence rung out as I stopped my foot. "I no-"

"OH FOR FUCKS SAKE I OBJECT!" I yelled out as I spun Shining around delivering a headbutt to his forehead knocking him down to the ground. "THIS BITCH HAS TESTED MY PATIENCE FOR LONG ENOUGH!" I yelled as I looked to The fake. "STOP ME I DARE YOU!" I yelled as a blast of green magic hit me in the chest slamming me into a wall. "ow..." I muttered as I slowly got to my feet.

"YOU FOOL HOW DARE YOU RUIN MY SPECIAL DAY!" The fake yelled as the doors to the wedding were kicked open.

"It's not your special day! It is mine!" I glanced over to see Twilight and the real Cadence standing there.

I dusted my self off as I began walking forward slowly drawing Solaris.

"How in Tarnation can there be two of them?" Applejack asked as Cadence spoke up.

"She is a Changeling she changes her form to be someone else and feed off of the love others give off." I stepped up to the podium as the fake began to cackle. Fire engulfed her form dissolving her disguise to reveal her true form. I smiled like a mad man as the fire died down. I reached over taking the microphone that was being used before saying only a few choice words.

"EVERYBODY GET THE FUCK OUT!" I said as many of the nobles got up from their seats running to the exit only about 30 people remained. 18 of them were engulfed in their own fire as they stood from their seats ready for a fight.

"Only two people saw through my disguise only two out of all of you." The woman said as she began pacing. "That would be dear Twilight." She said pointing to her before pointing at me. "And you. I can see how Twilight saw through it all but you are a mystery. How did you know?" I cracked a smile.

"Simple." I said as I raised Solaris setting it on my shoulder. "Solaris told me. Your magic is a form of corruption which Solaris will react to. Normally I would just chock it up to my own corruption being sealed by my bracer. but I guessed right when you had a drone bring me room service. By the way I fucking hate tea." I said as I slid Solaris into it's holster. "Now tell me Bitch. What is your name?" I asked as she glared at me.

"I am Queen Chrystalis. Queen of the Changelings. You would be wise to show me some respect you abomination." I let out a loud cackle of laughter as I looked down at her. I was about to draw Umbra when I felt a blast of magic hit me in the chest throwing me back into another wall.

"KNOCK THAT SHIT OFF!" I yelled pulling myself out of the wall.

"Jon stay put I will deal with this insect." Celestia said as she charged her own magic. Celestia raised her hand as Chrystalis did the same. Both of their magic launched out before colliding between the two of them. Celestia seemed to be struggling to keep the magic at bay. As Chrystalis' began to over power her.

This is the same woman I am sure could take me out and I am no push over. I watched as Celestia looked back at me before giving me a subtle nod. She used her other hand aiming at me as magic launched out hitting my bracer. I looked at her as her magic gave way slamming her in the chest. Celestia let out a scream as she flew backwards. I jumped up catching her as I gently set her down.

I gave Celestia a light shake as she passed out. I felt my anger swell up over it's boiling point. I picked Celestia up as I got to my feet. I walked right past Chrystalis as she was charging up another attack. I continued towards Twilight as I set Celestia down in front of her.

"Twilight take the others and go get your elements. This bug is mine." I said calmly as I looked Twilight in the eyes she flinched before nodding. A blast of magic hit me square in the back only to be deflected away by Umbra And Solaris. "Run fast. Stop for nothing." I said as I stood to my full height turning around to see another bolt of magic flying at me. I raised my right hand as I caught the bolt of magic.

"Jon will you be ok on your own?" Twilight asked as I threw the magic I was holding into the wall to my immediate right. Twilight was silent before I heard her call for her friends as they ran towards the door. I heard a few of the changelings move to intercept as I let out a yell of rage as they all crumpled to the ground throwing up or passing out completely.

"So you are Jon it is a pleasure to meet you." Cadence said to my left. I didn't look to her.

"Stay out of my way or fall like the rest." I said as I drew Umbra slamming the edge into the ground. I glared down Chrystalis as she looked at me showing the same signs of sickness as the other changelings. "I gave you many warnings insect. I warned you of the pain I would bring yet you chose to ignore us." I began walking forward slowly as Chrystalis charged up another attack. In the blink of an eye I was before her seizing her by the throat with my left hand.

Chrystalis returned the gesture wrapping her hand around my throat as she seized me by my left wrist. "You think your anger will affect me I am the queen. I do not taste anything less than love. under all of that anger there is love... along with fear. I wonder what you are so afraid of?" She asked as I tightened my grip on her throat.

"I'm afraid you won't last long." I said coldly as I used my strength to lift Chrystalis off the ground before fast balling her into the wall. "I'm afraid that I won't get the chance to really cut loose. I'm afraid spilling your blood won't please me." I jumped forward swinging down towards her only for her to roll to the side. Umbra carved deep into the wall she was thrown into before the teeth of Umbra kicked on grinding through the marble like a chainsaw.

"I have fed off of Shining for days I am all powerful. You just surprised me with your speed. It will not happen again." Chrystalis said as she threw a fireball at me. I jumped back dragging Umbra through the floor carving it up the entire way.

"Keep telling yourself that. You took something away from me and I will enjoy making you burn for that." I hefted up Umbra charging forward only for Chrystalis to meet me half way with a blade of her own. We locked blades as she smiled at me.

"Is this all you can do Jon?" Chrystalis asked in Red's voice. My eyes went wide as she disarmed Umbra from my hands shoving her own blade through my stomach. I stood there as Chrystalis ripped her crooked blade from my body kicking me over. I laid on the cold marble my hand over my wound. "I knew that one had to be the one you love so much. I was using my drones to watch you dear Jon. You not once raised your voice at her never so much as said a mean thing to her. She is your weakness." I felt Chrystalis kick me in the gut as I coughed trying my hardest to stop my bleeding or at least slow it down.

The doors to the throne room were thrown open as Twilight, Applejack, Pinkie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Red were all brought into the throne room. They failed... I failed as well. Chrystalis walked over me sitting down on the throne with a cackle of laughter.

"The Elements have been captured. Canterlot is ours. And the best part is your last resort lays bleeding out on the ground before you all. And since I am a benevolent ruler I will not allow Jon to die a slow and painful death." Chrystalis said as she raised her hand as two guards took hold of my shoulders dragging me to the base of the steps leading to the throne. "I will execute him and give him a swift death. Any last words?" She asked with a smile.

looked back at Red before looking down at my bracer setting my hand on it as I felt the clasp on it unlatch. "I got something to say Chrystalis..." I pulled the bracer off of my right arm before tossing it over my shoulder as it clattered to Twilight's feet. "My name is Salt." I looked to my right seeing an axe coming down towards my neck. I clenched my right hand into a fist as the head of the changeling crushed in on it's self. Blood rocketed out of the dead changeling's neck as it splattered the ground around me.

I slowly got to my feet as I rolled my neck to a series of loud cracks. The corruption spread through me as my skin became black as pitch. I ran a hand through my hair feeling it become wispy at my touch.

"What in Tartarus are you?" Chrystalis asked as I undid the clasp for Solaris as it clattered to the ground behind me. I used my foot to kick it backwards towards Twilight and the others.

"I am the one person you should have not pissed off." I cracked a smile as I openned my right hand as Umbra flew into my hand. I turned as a changeling charged me only to have Umbra slam into his collar bone. Umbra's teeth began to spin before it glided through him throwing chunks of flesh and bone across the room. Once Umbra was completely through him I turned throwing Umbra right at Chrystalis. She jumped out of the chair dodging the blade only to come face to face with me as I brought my fist down in a chopping right.

A large shock-wave echoed out as Chrystalis was painfully introduced with the marble. I reached down lifting Chrystalis looking at her cracked and broken skin. I smiled as I threw her towards the other Changelings. I'm glad Twilight was able to pull all of them down as Chrystalis took down most of the changelings in the room. I flicked my wrist as Umbra returned to my hand. I began walking forward whistling a little tune as I dragged Umbra behind me.

Chrystalis got to her feet as the Changelings got in my way to her. "KILL HIM!" Chrystalis ordered as the changelings charged at me all of them switching to be one of the girls in the room. I impaled the first one that got close to me carving upwards before turning the blade sawing through two more.

I was Laughing the entire time. This is what I wanted all week. I wanted to kill each changeling I discovered but I had waited and it made it all so much more fun. I seized one by the throat as I slowly bisected them with Umbra. "GIVE ME MORE CHRYSTALIS IT WILL MAKE KILLING YOU SO MUCH MORE FUN!" I yelled out as I dropped the corpse to the ground with a wet smack.

I saw Chrysalis take a step back about to run when I appeared behind her in a flash of light swinging down with Umbra. She was able to block the strike but only barely as the teeth began to spin up showering the area in sparks. "I can feel your fear little bug..." I said as I smiled pressing down on harder.

"THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!" Chrystalis roared as she tried to press back on me only for me to set my left hand on my blade pressing down once again dropping her to one knee. "I HAVE ALL THE POWER I BEAT CELESTIA HOW ARE YOU STRONGER THAN ME!?" My smile threatened to split my face as I lifted my blade bringing it down with both hand cutting into her shoulder.

"Simple Chrystalis. What is a moth to a flame?" I asked as her eyes widened as I set my right hand right in front of her face. I charged my own spell as purple lightning arced in my palm right before I seized her by the face. She let out a muffled scream as my hand print was burned onto her face. "I mark you Chrystalis. This mark is to show your defeat at my hands. This mark will never fade. Never leave you. I have marked your very soul." I released Chrystalis as she cradled her face in her hands. "I OWN YOU!" I yelled before letting out a maniacal laugh stomping on Chrystalis while she was downed.

"J-Jon..." I heard a voice say as I looked up seeing Red her hands over her mouth in horror. "Jon please stop..." She said as I looked down at Chrystalis seeing her still holding her face. I cocked my head to the side before sighing.

"She saved your life..." I said as I slid Umbra into his holster walking back towards Red.

"NO!" I heard Chrystalis yell as I looked over my shoulder at her to see my mark on her face. "I WILL NOT BE BEAT BY SOME PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A BEING!" Chrystalis raised her hand pointing at not me but Red. A beam of magic launched out as I dropped Umbra shoving Red out of the way as the beam ripped through my chest. I didn't know when I hit the ground but it felt so nice...

"I could take a nap on this floor." I said to myself as a warm light passed over my very being. It stung a little bit which was weird but I was to tired to try and get comfortable. I think I'll just close my eyes for a little bit... I can kill Chrystalis when I wake up.

Chapter 11: Not Again

Salt, Anger, And Booze
Part 11: Not Again

By: Major Frostwing

There is that fucking beeping again. I slowly opened my eyes to only close them due to the sun hitting my eyes. "Oh what the fuck?" I muttered as my throat felt like it was being ripped in half. I slowly opened my eyes getting to a sitting up position. I ran my hand through my hair feeling that it was back to normal. I looked about my room seeing that I was in a hospital room.

I saw the door to my room open only for a nurse to enter my room. She wasn't paying attention as she walked right up to my heart monitor looking it over before writing something down. "I wonder when he will wake up?" I heard the nurse ask herself out loud as I rolled my eyes.

"How amount 5 minutes ago?" I asked as she let out a soft giggle.

"His heart rate would be elevated and not be this calm if he did wake up." She answered before she stopped looking over to me. I raised a hand giving her a wave.

"Yo." I said calmly as I saw her eyes roll into the back of her head as she passed out. "Oh god dammit..." I muttered face palming before I pulled the heart monitor pads off only for a loud beep to persist as an alarm started up. I gave a stretch before yanking out the IV in my arm.

I got to my feet walking up to the machine turning it off before picking up the nurse moving her to my bed. I looked at the wall clock smiling. "30 seconds... That's actually sad." I said as I pulled the doors to the room open just as a doctor was opening it with a crash cart behind him. "Glad to see you joined the party Doctor." I said as I pointed my thumb behind me. "The nurse fainted and you should probably make sure she is ok. Then you need to tell me where the fuck my shit is." I saw him nod as he motioned to a nurse to come forward.

"She will take you to a room where you can change." I nodded to the doctor moving him out of my way as I followed the nurse.

Once I got to the room that held me gear I swiftly changed. I felt a little out of it without my swords but I was confident that Celestia had them. "How long have I been out?" I asked the nurse as she looked at me with concern.

"You have been unconscious for the better part of 16 days... There was horrible damage to your abdomen and both of your lunges were hit by a blast of magic gladly the beam wasn't aimed 3 centimeters higher. Otherwise it would have hit your heart." I shrugged before looking down at my chest raising my shirt to see the ragged scar in the center of my chest and one about 5 inches below it.

"Well then guess I got luck on my side..." I said pulling my shirt down.

"As your nurse I have to ask how you are feeling. You seem as if something is troubling you." I rolled my eyes at her as I patted her on the head.

"What's bothering me is my personal nurse is not here right next to me. That and I have been asleep for 16 days. I want a cup of coffee and I want to talk to Celestia." I said as I made my way to the door.

"Sir you have not been cleared to leave the medical ward yet."

"That's nice." I said as I pushed the door open making my way towards the exit. I had some things that needed to be discussed with Celestia and the others. That and I want some fucking coffee... I live off that shit."

I had left the medical ward and had made my way towards the dining hall passing guards who all looked at me with unease. I ignored them as I kept walking. I stopped at a large grandfather clock looking at the time before shrugging. It was only 8:17 in the morning but whatever.

The dining halls doors were closed and had two guards standing on either side of it. I reached out for the door only for them to cross their spears. I looked at both of them before grabbing their heads. With an innocent smile I slammed their heads together dropping them to the ground knocked out. I rolled my neck before opening the doors to see Celestia, Twilight and her friends, Luna, Cadence, Shining, and Red.

I casually walked up taking hold of a chair against the wall slamming it down next to Red before sitting down. I saw an empty mug and a hot pot of coffee in the center. I took it before pouring myself a cup.

"I did not realize that you were discharged from the Medical Ward Jon. Celestia said as I held up a finger downing the entire mug of coffee before pouring myself a new cup.

"Yea I woke up today got dressed came straight here... Where is my shit?" I asked Celestia raising my cup to my lips.

"They are in a safe place." Celestia said calmly raising her cup of tea.

"Jon you can not talk to the Princess like th-" I raised my right hand snapping my fingers as A dark purple mist covered Twilight's mouth keeping her mouth shut.

"Twilight the adults are talking..." I said as I returned my attention to Celestia. "Princess I appreciate that you were so kind as to not destroy my weapons but I would like them to be returned to me." I said setting down my mug.

"I will return them after breakfast." Celestia said as I nodded. "Would you like anything to eat before then?" Celestia asked as a servant walked up to me.

"I just want coffee... and some white toast." I said as the servant gave me a weird look.

"Jon we all know that you are an omnivore you do not need to hold back for us." Celestia said as I snapped my fingers removing the hold on Twilight's voice.

"Toast and more coffee... please." I said as the servant nodded taking off to the kitchen.

"Jon are you feeling alright?" Red asked as I shrugged.

"I did take a blade to the gut a few weeks ago... Don't want to fuck up my stomach with eating a huge meal." Red smiled to me setting her hand over mine.

"That's a good idea." Red said as I went back to my coffee.

Breakfast went swimmingly if you could get past the point where the servant still brought me out my usual breakfast even though I didn't want it. I didn't yell I didn't come to blows with anyone I just ate my toast and drank my coffee before pushing the rest away.

"Darling you seem a little off are you alright?" Rarity asked as I rolled my shoulders.

"No... I am sore and I am missing Solaris and Umbra... I just want my gear back and some answers." I said as Celestia looked over her shoulder at me.

"What is it you want answers to?" Luna asked as I felt my shoulder crack.

"What happened to Chrystalis? The last thing I remember is the bolt of magic ripping through my chest. Also has the wedding happened yet?" I asked as Cadence and Shining both scratched the back of their heads.

"We decided to wait until repairs were finished and wait for you to wake up." Shining said as I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Well you are supposed to be one of my groomsmen since Twilight is my best mare." I nodded before cocking my head to the side.

"I thought you hated me." I stated as if it was truth.

"Why would you think I hated you?" He asked as I gave him a look that said. 'Really Mother Fucker?'

"Do you want a list of why I think that?" I asked as he shook his head.

"We also wanted the one who helped save Equestria present at the wedding." Cadence said as I rolled my eyes.

"Wait a second." Rainbow said as she flew up right in my face. "You said you knew that this was going to happen. Why didn't you try to stop it?" She asked as I chuckled.

"I think shoving Umbra through Chrystalis' chest cavity when she looked like Cadence would have got me a one way ticket to my own execution." I said as they all thought about it. "Also The Real Cadence was being hidden somewhere and none of us knew. I let what happen happen and I knew if I dropped enough hints you all would eventually catch on that something was up. Twilight did after all." I said as Twilight looked at me with surprise.

"That's surprisingly thought out for you Jon." Celestia said as I rolled my eyes.

"Also Cadence. Dress, music, food, and party." I listed off as she looked at me confused.

"What about it?" She asked as I smiled.

"I saved all of it from being thrown out and having to be redone from scratch." I said as she looked even more confused. "Ask the girls." I said with a wave of my hand. "Now onto Chrystalis. I know I didn't kill her because I would remember Umbra sawing her head from her neck." I let out a sigh of contentedness before scowling. "If she is still alive and in this castle I got business with her."

"Chrystalis has already been exiled to the badlands with the rest of her hive." Celestia said as she looked back at me. "And no I will not tell you how to get to her." I let out an annoyed sigh. "She was defeated by Shining and Cadence with a shield of love and Harmony." I blinked twice before shrugging.

"I guess a good job is in order." I said lightly tapping Shining in the shoulder with my fist. "I guess without you two we all would have lost... So yea..." I noticed that everyone was looking at me with varying forms of shock. "Celestia where are my swords? Are we there?" I asked as Celestia stopped before a door opening it only to reveal a room with a vault door on the floor.

"This is where your blades are located. Sadly I had to destroy the corruption on Umbra so I could safely contain it." I shrugged as she opened the vault as two blades rose from it's depths. Celestia floated over my blades as I grabbed Solaris in my left hand and grabbed My de-corrupted Umbra in my right. I poured corruption into Umbra as it returned to it's normal form.

I saw Celestia hold out my holsters though they were modified to look more professional. I grabbed them as I slammed both blades in the ground before strapping my holsters on. I looked them over before nodding to myself sliding the blades home.

"I really wish you would stop putting holes in my floor Jon." I looked to Celestia before cracking a sly smile.

"At least it is an easy fix." I said before quickly making my way out of the room before I got yelled out.

I decided to check out the throne room and saw that most of the damage was repaired only a few stains of green and red were on the ground. "So few were destroyed... I wish I had more time with her army." I muttered as I dragged my fingers against a particular red stain.

"Jon you ok?" I heard Cadence ask as I glance over my shoulder at her.

"No... Chrystalis is still alive." I said as I got to my feet.

"She is in the badlands so she can't harm anyone." Cadence said with a tired smile.

"It's not that she can't harm anyone ever again... It's the fact that she was going to try and kill Red. I want her blood for that." I said as I felt my anger flare.

"You really like her don't you? I'm pretty sure you would have went for the kill if she attacked anyone else but you actively went and saved Red. That says a lot about how you feel towards her." Cadence said as she set her hand on my shoulder.

"What do you know?" I asked as I removed her hand from my person.

"I am the Princess of Love Jon. It's kinda my thing to know the matters of the heart. Below all that anger is a man who cares for those around him." Cadence said and for a second I felt the urge to strangle her. "I'll leave you alone for now Jon but you should tell her." Cadence turned away making her way towards the exit leaving me alone to my thoughts.

Chapter 12: The Hardest Test

Salt, Anger, And Booze
Part 12: The Hardest Test

By: Major Frostwing

Twilight Sparkle walked through Canterlot Castle making her way towards the kitchen only to hear a strange sound. It was coming from the Ballroom. Twilight cracked the door to the Ballroom to see Jon and Celestia talking as they sat at one of the tables for the wedding tomorrow.

"Is this really what you want Jon?" Celestia asked as Jon let out a sigh.

"Yes. after everyone leaves back for Ponyville I will be staying here for a few days." Jon said as Twilight listened in with intrigue.

"You do realize what you have just asked for correct?" Celestia asked as she narrowed her eyes at him.

"You want to make me a good plan B for the elements. You want me to protect them should something go wrong. I want a fight that pushes me to the limits. I would not have challenged you if not to push everything I got to it's max." Jon said as he extended his left hand to Celestia. "Do you accept this challenge?" Jon asked as Celestia let out a long dragged out sigh.

"I accept Jon." Celestia took hold of Jon's hand giving it a solid shake. "I will not hold back as you have asked of me." Jon gave a curt nod as he released Celestia's hand standing up from his seat.

"Good. Two days Tia." Jon began advancing towards the door raising a two finger salute. "Two days before we try to kill each other." Twilight scrambled to her feet taking off as quickly and as silently as possible she had to tell all of her friends. This was plain suicide.

The wedding had gone off without a hitch as I kept to myself for most of the wedding and the reception. Twilight had informed her friends of what I was going to do and tried to confront me about it but I denied it. I didn't want anyone to see the fight between me and Celestia. It was going to be dangerous for both me and her without the fact we would both have to hold back if there was spectators.

It was the appointed day where me and Celestia were to fight. I made my way towards the throne room where I only saw Twilight and the others standing before the door blocking my path.

"Twilight... Move out of my way." I said as I stopped before them. Each one seemed to have their own reason for not letting me pass but it was already set in stone.

"Jon I will ask one last time to please not do this. You cannot fight Princess Celestia." She seemed to harden her glare at me as I took a step forward towards the door. A bubble of violet appeared over the door as Twilight seemed to get ready to fight me as did the others.

"Twilight there is a time and a place for a fight." I said calmly as I cracked my knuckles. "If you will not move willingly I will make you move." Purple lightning arced up my right arm as I got ready for my fight.

Twilight raised her arm launching a bolt of magic at me which I caught in my right hand. They all stared at me with wide eyes as I looked down at the bolt of magic before fast balling it right into Twilight's chest knocking her back into the double doors of the throne. That's when Rainbow Dash charged forward trying to dive bomb me. I used both of my hands seizing Rainbow Dash by her shirt using her momentum I spun around once before throwing her right into the door.

I looked down at the last 4 girls only to see Rarity try and launch a bolt of magic at me along with Applejack throwing her lasso at me. I smacked away the puny bolt of magic before catching Applejack's lasso. She pulled the rope taunt around my left arm as if she was keeping me in place. I saw Pinkie take aim with her cannon which put a smile on my face as I flicked my wrist yanking the cannon to just before my feet.

I raised my foot slamming the fire button as the cannon hit Pinkie into the doors adding to the pile. I felt a hard tug on my left arm as I returned my attention to Applejack.

"Jon fightin' the Princess is suicide." Applejack said as she tried to keep me in one spot.

"Then let me die." I said yanking the rope towards me as Applejack was lifted off her feet. I reared back my right fist punching Applejack in the gut throwing her straight into the door. I look to the last two as I kicked the Party cannon out of my way.

Rarity went to fire another bolt of magic only for me to lift her with my magic. I pulled her towards me before shoving my hand into her chest knocking the air out of her as She met the same fate as her friends. I looked to Fluttershy as she tried to lock me in her stare. She was about to scold me when I shifted my magic into my shadow I fixed her with my own glare as My shadow shifted as it grew into the head of a dragon. It opened it's mouth letting out a piercing roar as shadows of flames flicked out of it's mouth.

Whatever bravery Fluttershy had die in that moment as she stared at my shadow roar at her down to her very soul. Her knees shook before she fainted to the ground on top of her friends. I cracked my neck using my magic to move all of them away from the door. "I wasn't even trying... I hope you all wake up to realize that." I said as I openned the door to the throne room to see Celestia sitting on her throne. A few nobles were at the foot of her throne.

one of the nobbles turned to see me as he rose to his feet. "Filthy peasant this is a private meeting. Do you know who I a-" I raised my hand as a dark purple haze covered his form I pointed down as his face met the marble knocking him out. I looked at the remaining nobles as they were wrapped in the same haze I flicked my hand to the side as they were thrown to the other side of the room.

I pulled something out of my back pocket raising it up to Celestia before throwing it to her feet. "I challenge you Princess Celestia to a duel." I said as a few of the guards moved forward to arrest me when Celestia raised her hand to stop them.

"I accept." She said as she picked up the gauntlet walking forward to me. "Where will our duel be held?" She asked as I smiled.

"Badlands. Now." Celestia nodded as she set her hand on my shoulder as we were both teleported away.

We both appeared in a desolate wasteland as I stepped back and away from Celestia. "Blades?" I asked with a smile. Celestia nodded keeping a nuetral expression I only let out a shrug raising my bracer as Celestia hit it with a burst of magic. My bracer unlocked as it fell off of my arm.

"You wanted to give it your all Jon as will I." Celestia said as she raised her hand to the sun which seemed to shine brighter. I took hold of Solaris as it began to burn my hand slamming it into the ground before drawing Umbra. A fire ball landed on Celestia which obscured my view of her. When the flames were blown away I saw Celestia standing there in a glistening gold armor with a glaive in her hand and a kite shield in her other hand.

"Praise the sun." I said with a chuckle preparing Umbra only to see Celestia raise her glaive and shield which both ignited in brilliant flames.

"En guarde." Celestia said as she charged me. I charged her dragging Umbra behind me the teeth already spinning at full speed. I raised Umbra above my head swinging with all of my might with one arm. Celestia raised her shield as Umbra hit her shield I saw her eyes widen slightly as she stopped my attack.

"Don't be surprised now." I said as I took hold of Umbra with both hands pushing down with everything I had. Celestia shifted her shield shoving me off of her. I saw her swing with her own glaive as I angled Umbra so her attack would be redirected away from me. I did not take into account that Celestia was strong as fuck.

Celestia had hit Umbra but ended up knocking me off of my feet with that one swing. I landed on my feet looking up at Celestia as she had jumped in the air swinging her blade down on me. I rolled out of the way feeling heat singe my hair as I got back to my feet.

"Don't be surprised now." Celestia taunted as she spun her glaive in her hand. I felt my anger flare.

"Shut up." I muttered as the teeth on Umbra revved up. I took off like a bullet reaching Celestia in the fraction of a second swinging Umbra horizontally Celestia smiled as our blades clashed in a shower of sparks. She went to disarm me only to back off when Umbra began spinning up faster and faster. I didn't let her back up as I jumped at her slamming Umbra right onto her shield throwing her back a fair distance. "LET'S FUCKING GO!" I yelled as my shadow seemed to boil before launching up onto my back forming a set of wings. I jumped in the air before taking off.

Celestia smiled taking to the air as well. We both pulled back our blades swinging with all of our might but I had a trick up my sleeve. Celestia was about to swing when I closed my wings dropping under her as I swung upwards cutting off only a few feathers from the tip of her wing.

Celestia lost her ability to fly for now as I turned around flying right for her blade at the ready. Something was wrong. I was watching her closely as she spun around horn glowing. I banked to the right just as a ball of fire roared past me. I adjusted myself in the air landing on my feet with a skid. I looked back at Celestia as she had a small smile on her lips.

"I missed." She said as I tightened my grip on Umbra.

"You fucked up." I corrected as I rolled my shoulder. Celestia continued to hold that smile as she vanished from my view. I immediately turned around ready to strike only to have a blade cut across my back. It felt as if my back was bathed in hot oil as I turned swinging blindly only for Umbra to bounce off of her shield. I felt another cut this one on my upper left arm. I took a step away from Celestia as she only began the chase. I was completely on the defensive as I had to focus completely on defending against Celestia's onslaught.

I felt more cuts hit me they were small but seemed to burn hot with each one. I finally had enough. I countered her Raising my fist punching her square in the muzzle before dropping Umbra to the ground. I reached out taking hold of Celestia by her armor raising my fist bringing it down across her jaw with a resounding crack. I pulled her back to me as I landed a solid right to her stomach making her take a few steps back. I flicked my wrist returning Umbra to my hand swinging as soon as it was in my grip. Celestia saw the swing jumping back but not without repercussions. Umbra dragged across her chest shearing right through her armor but only putting a shallow cut into her. She looked down at her torn armor before looking back up at me.

I saw a fire in her eyes now as she jumped at me I went to do the same only to feel a searing pain across the left side of my face. I teleported back my left hand over my eye. I lowered my left hand to see only out of one eye blood stained my glove. This bitch just cut my left eye. I looked up as her to see her teleport towards me poised for a strike. I raised Umbra deflecting her strike as I seized her by the throat. Pulling back my right hand punching her in her left eye. I moved my right foot behind her feet before sweeping them out from under her bringing her straight to the ground. I raised Umbra with both hands trying to bring it down through her only for her to teleport away.

I read the teleport rearing back and throwing Umbra right at her only for her to deflect it with her shield. What she didn't see was me teleport behind her taking hold of her helmet. I ripped it off of her head before bringing it back down on her head. she turned to defend against me but I sweeped her feet out once again. I threw a punch straight down at her only for her to roll her self away. "QUIT RUNNING FROM ME!" I bellowed as I ran after her only to fall into a simple trap. I didn't see her horn was glowing until it was too late. I felt a pressure around my throat yank me forward right into a swing from her glaive I knew that if I was gonna get hit I was gonna hit her as well. I reared back my right hand as it crackled with Dark purple electricity before my shadow jumped onto my hand turning it into a claw. I raked my claws across Celestia's cheek as her glaive cut into my left shoulder which stopped at my collar bone.

Celestia looked down at me as I dropped to my knees raising my left arm seizing her blade holding it there. "I win this duel." Celestia said as I let out a roar stabbing my hand into her gut. I didn't get deep enough to do any real damage but it was enough to throw her off her game. I yanked my hand out only for a shield to hit me across the face putting me down to the ground. I don't remember much after that except one very important thing.

Don't fuck with the sun.

Celestia stared down at the unconscious form of Jon. Once she was sure that he was not getting back up she sat down on the ground letting out a few pants showing how tough the fight was. She dismissed her armor and weapons back to the sun before wiping her cheek seeing the blood stain the back of her hand. "You fought well Jon." She said before looking at where Jon's weapons and bracer were. She used her magic to gather all of the items.

She looked down at Jon once again. She wince internally when she noticed just how much damage he had sustained. Celestia moved the bracer to her hand as she clasped it around Jon's forearm seeing the corruption recede until it had disappeared. When she was sure that all the corruption was gone she lifted Jon up slinging him over her shoulder She focused her magic as they both disappeared from the badlands. The scars on the land were the only reminder of the battle that had occurred between the sun and one angry man.

Chapter 13: GOD DAMMIT!

Salt, Anger, And Booze
Part 13: GOD DAMMIT!

By: Major Frostwing

Celestia took Jon to the infirmary where she saw the Elements all sitting in what looked like a waiting area each with their own injuries. She silently set Jon on a stretcher as a few doctors moved forward taking Jon into a emergency room. A few walked forward to help Celestia but she stopped them. "Use all of your time to insure that he is alright." Celestia ordered as they bowed to her.

"Princess Celestia!" Twilight yelled as she ran up to Celestia looking over the injuries she sported.

"I am alright my student nothing to concern yourself about." Celestia said with a smile. It was a smile that calmed the soul but Twilight still looked worried.

"But Princess you are still bleeding." Twilight said as Celestia set a hand on her shoulder.

"Twilight I will be fine Jon is in worse a state than me." Celestia said as she looked to the emergency room door. "I did cut his eye out..." Celestia seemed to deflate slightly at saying what she had done to Jon. "But what about you my student? What has happened to you and your friends?" Celestia asked as Twilight scowled.

"Jon took us all out without even breaking a sweat." Twilight said crossing her arms. "He caught my spell and threw it back at me." Celestia sighed.

"Redirecting a spell is a simple thing my student. I taught you how do do it." Celestia said as Twilight shook her head.

"He didn't redirect my spell Princess. He. Caught. It. With his hand." Twilight said as Celestia's eyes widened slightly. "That should be impossible Princess. The magical energies should tear apart flesh if caught or the spell would activate on contact. He did something impossible." Twilight said as Celestia stared at the emergency room a little more than afraid.

"Twilight. Jon is to stay at your home. He is to stay with each of you at all times. Do not let him be alone." Celestia said as she began walking towards one of the rooms to get her wounds bandaged.

I awoke to darkness and that fucking beeping again. I slowly opened my eyes to see only darkness in one eye and the infernal machine that was my heart monitor. I reached over taking hold of the top of the machine. With unrestrained anger I lifted the machine throwing it straight into the wall across from me. The machine exploded into parts as it collided with the wall.

I reached to my right hand yanking out the IV out as I kicked the covers off. "FUCK!" I yelled as I flipped the bed I was in moments before. A doctor opened the door seeing me as I walked over to the remains of the heart monitor. I looked over to the doctor as he stared at me in wide eyed shock. "THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT!?" I yelled picking up the remains throwing the against the wall next to the doctor.

The doctor covered his head as he ran out of the room. I reached up setting my hand over the bandages covering my left eye. "What the fuck?" I muttered as I picked up the bed flipping it back over sitting on it with a huff. "I lost in such a pathetic way." I said out loud falling on my back on the bed sighing.

"It was a hard fight Jon." Celestia said at the door of my room. I looked at her with my right eye glaring at her. "You made me take the fight seriously which is a feat in it's own right." She said entering the room. I saw the bandages over her cheek and all across her torso. I also noticed the two black eyes she sported.

"You cut out my eye." I said flatly as I leaned my head back.

"And you put your hand in my stomach I say it was a fair trade."

"Yea... My eye will heal eventually." I said as I set my hand over my left eye. "How long have I been out?"

"I brought you in a few hours ago." She said with a small smile.

"Good. I didn't lose days or weeks to a failure on my part... I wish you threw at least on energy bolt. Would have loved to see the look on your face." I said with a smile as her eyes widened.

"Where did you learn how to do that?" Celestia asked in barely a whisper.

"Nightmare taught me everything I would need to do what I need to do. Corrupting objects, my magic, negating spells thrown my way, and healing from injuries. Everything necessary to win a fight. I can catch spells thrown my way by doing one simple thing. If my magic is stronger I can catch whatever you throw at me." I explained as I held up my right hand showing it to her. A dark purple mist encased my hand before solidifying into a black claw.

"Are you here to actually help us? Or destroy us all?" Celestia asked as I let out a sigh.

"I am just a guy thrown into a different world and decided to make a deal with a devil to survive. I help you and you help me." I dismissed my magic flexing my hand slowly. "As long as you are willing to help me I will help you." I reached up unraveling the bandages over my left eye. A light sting rocketed across my face as I slowly opened my left eye. I looked to Celestia with a smile. "You still want to help a monster like me?" I asked as she nodded.

"As long as you remain my ally then yes." I opened my left eyes seeing that the world was blurry in my left eye. It was slowly clearing up.

"My eye is still healing but I can at least still see."

"The corruption is spreading Jon. soon enough there will be nothing we can do to fix it. You will be corrupted by the dark magic flowing through you and you will have to be sealed away." I shrugged to her giving a tired smile.

"When that time comes... I won't even resist." I got to my feet stretching my arms back and legs. "Let's get out of here and get some ice cream. I know we both could use some after that fight." She smiled as she got to her own feet showing me the way to the kitchen.

I sat on the counter of the kitchens with Celestia next to me each of us having our own tub of ice cream. Twilight and the other girls were standing before us as me and Celestia both continued to eat.

"So what do you want Twilight?" I asked as I scooped another spoonful of vanilla ice cream into my mouth.

"I want some answers Jon. Why would you even want to fight Princess Celestia? Twilight asked as I looked to Celestia out of the corner of my right eye. She was keeping her composure pretty well.

"Simple really. I needed to see if she could beat me." I said as I set down my ice cream before leaning on my knees. "We all know that I can't be cured of the corruption without it either killing me or sealing me away. I needed to see if Celestia could put a stop to whatever I throw at her. And she did what I needed to test." Twilight was about to retort when I let out a tired sigh.

"I have maybe a year left Twilight. After a year I might be gone and the only thing left will be Nightmare. You six will have to put me down when that time comes." I looked to all of them cracking my left eye open to show them what has changed now. My left eye had shifted back to it's original form but the white part of my eye has now shifted to a dark purple.

"Jon..." Twilight began as I closed my eye looking away from them.

"Eventually you will all be either my saviors or my killers. I'm happy with either outcome." I felt arms wrap around my torso which brought my eyes down. Pinkie was hugging me tightly.

"We don't want you to go Jon." Pinkie said as I looked at her. "We know you don't want to be mean to us Jon you just need us to dislike you enough that when the time comes it will be easier for us to stop you." I closed my eyes removing Pinkie's arms from my body before jumping down from the counter.

"I guess you saw through my plans... What gave it away?" I asked as they all watched me.

"The wedding." Twilight said as i let a click with my tongue.

"You were trying to make all of us feel better after what Chrystalis did to us when she was Cadence. It was out of character for you Jon." Twilight explained when Rarity stepped forward.

"Nurse Red Line. You are never mean to her." Rarity pointed out as I scratched the back of my head with a sigh.

"So what do you want me to do now? If I start being nice to you all now it would only be harder on all of you when the time comes." I say with a defeated sigh.

"We'll find a way to cure you Jon it won't have to come to that." I rolled my eyes storming off.

"I'm not an Optimist Twilight. I don't see the up side here..." I turn away from them setting my hand on the door shoving it open. "Either we fix this before it happens or... I die." I step through the doors closing the doors silently behind me.

Chapter 14: The Pain of A Time limit

Salt, Anger, And Booze
Part 14: The Pain of A Time Limit

By: Major Frostwing

Twilight had searched the castle high and low with the other girls for any sign of Jon. It was as if he had just vanished from Canterlot. All of the girls felt bad about Jon. Who would willingly continue to be mean to the people he cared about just so they wouldn't hurt from their actions?

Rainbow Dash flew up to Twilight. She was flying all about Canterlot trying to find any sign of Jon. "He's gone Twilight I have no idea where he could be." Rainbow said as the other girls converged back from their own searches.

"He just up and left but we did find out his secret." Applejack added with a sigh.

"It must be so dreadful to know your time is coming. He doesn't know what to do except prepare for his demise." Rarity said sighing.

"I just hope he is alright." Fluttershy said with a frown.

"We'll figure out how to save Jon. I promise." Twilight said as a loud explosion was heard from some distance. Twilight jumped running off to a window where she saw a large cloud of black smoke billowing out of the Everfree Forest.

"I think we found him." Rainbow said crossing her arms. "I guess he went to burn off some steam."

"I reckon that sounds like him." Applejack said with a sad sigh.

"Isn't he afraid of his own safety?" Fluttershy asked as Twilight shook her head.

"He has nothing else to lose... He doesn't care what happens to him now." Twilight said as another explosion erupted from the forest.

I had teleported immediately after leaving the kitchens to the Everfree Forest. Twilight had told me that the Everfree held all kinds of nasty little creatures. And I had anger to burn so might as well clean up some annoyances.

I found a nest of Manticores first. Not much of a challenge but still fun to kill them. I then went after a hydra. I had used my magic for this one and ended up destroying it to quickly with a massive explosion. Then came the Ursa Major... That was fun to fight. I will never forget how it roared in pain when I cut off one of it's arms. Still not enough though.

I sat on top of the corpse of the Ursa staring up at the moon above me. "About a year left in the tank and I'm out here trying to kill something that could have killed me months ago... I think I have lost my will to live." I said as I let out a tired sigh. I don't want to die yet.

I got up from the Ursa jumping down to the forest floor making my way towards the entrance to the Everfree. I had no fear for anything that roamed the forest I could easily kill anything that came at me. "I wouldn't mind if this thing wasn't killing me so quickly." I muttered as I saw my shadow shift revealing Nightmare once again.

"I feel a little sorry for you Jon. Even though my entire existence and reason for attaching to you was to eventually take over your body I feel like I shouldn't. You have pushed my powers farther than I thought possible but even I can't stop what my presence is doing to you." I looked to Nightmare nodding solemnly.

"I know Nightmare I don't hate you anymore for trying to just survive but I just wish I could live long enough to not only be your friend but to enjoy my life." I said as I tapped my fist against her shoulder. "Don't feel bad Nightmare... It could be worse." I made my way back towards Ponyville. I needed to see Red and hopefully improve my day... and to break the news to her. This is gonna be a rough day.

I sat in the Ponyville hospital just watching the people walk about. I had requested to see nurse Red but now I am just nervous to tell her what's happening.

What if she stops liking me? What if she doesn't want to ever see me again? I set my hands on the sides of my head taking a few deep breaths. I was just feeling sick from this shit.

I felt a hand on my shoulder which made me jump I looked up with my right eyes seeing Red looking down at me with shock in her eyes. I saw her take a step back as I moved my hands down seeing that they were covered in my shadow. I quickly dispelled them as I shook my hands out. "Hey Red." I said solemnly as she continued to stare down at me. "We need to talk."

"Jon? Are you ok?" Red asked as she sat down next to me setting her hand on my shoulder. "What's wrong?" I closed my eyes taking a deep breath.

"I..." I started before clearing my throat. "I know you know of my condition with Nightmare right? That I was corrupted and it is now spreading. I... I can't stop it." I told her but not once did I look up at her.

"Jon does that mean?" Red asked as I nodded.

"I might have a year left... After a year if we don't find a cure Nightmare will take over. Even she can't stop what her presence does to my body." I said as I felt her arms wrap around me. "Princess Celestia doesn't have any idea how to safely remove her and the elements will end up destroying the infected portions of my body. I don't know what I am supposed to do." I wrapped my arms around Red as she just held me tightly.

"We will find something Jon. We have time to save you." Red tried to make me feel better but right now all I want to do is go to sleep with her at my side. I just want a week of just me and Red. No villains, no monsters, and no fighting. Just me and Red so I can help my mind clear up. That's all I need right now and dammit I am going to get it.

Chapter 15: A Cold Wind Blows

Salt, Anger, And Booze
Part 15: A Cold Wind Blows

By: Major Frostwing

It has been 2 months since I told Red about my time limit and things have been going very well no monsters no "Evil" villains. Just good old fashioned peace and quiet. I think I am getting cabin fever from all this calm. Twilight and the other girls seem to be having fun being out and about on this nice warm day. I adjusted my sun glasses on my face as I laid down on the soft grass just watching the clouds.

I had to start wearing shades since the corruption has spread to my right eye now. Not to mention Twilight finally got me that gift she has been meaning to give me. She had somewhat repaired my computer so now it runs but a lot of stuff is still corrupted and busted. Baby steps but still steps forward.

I let out a content sigh as I continued to lay on my back when a shadow was cast over my form. "There you are." I heard Rainbow Dash say as she landed next to me. "Twilight got a letter from Princess Celestia and she is requesting for all of us to go to Canterlot." I tilted down my shades looking at Rainbow with a cocked eyebrow. I pulled a sheet of paper out of my back pocket holding it up to her.

"I'm not going. And this little slip of paper says I don't have to." Rainbow took the slip of paper out of my hand reading it over before looking at it confused.

"What the hell is this?" Rainbow asked as I smiled.

"Princess Celestia got me promise cards for my birthday. She only gave me two and I'm using one right now. I want to stay here and just relax so I am not going." Rainbow rolled her eyes.

"Come on Jon what if this is something important? What if it is a cure?" I adjusted my glasses laying my head on the grass.

"If it was the letter would have said so. Now shoo you are messing with my nap." I said as Rainbow let out a groan walking off. What ever it is they can handle it.

It has been two days since that event and not a peep out of any of the princesses or from the girls... I'm getting worried now. "Hey Red." I said as she looked up from her newspaper confused. "I'm gonna go to Canterlot. I got a bad feeling they might need me." Red Stood up taking hold of my hand stopping me.

"Jon you have been acting strange for the last few days what's wrong?" She asked as I let out a sigh.

"I just have a bad feeling Red. I just want to make sure something hasn't gone wrong." Red looked down worried.

"I just don't want you to get hurt anymore... It scares me every time I see you come home more injured than before. We only have so much time left so I don't want it cut short." I gave her a small smile as I bent over giving her a small kiss on the lips.

"I solemnly swear that I will come back. If it is as serious as it feels I can not guarantee that I will come back uninjured but I will come back." I said as she looked at me in the eyes. She never once flinched or looked away from my eyes but I can see the sadness in hers. "My last moments will not be in some hole they will be next to you." I told her as I hugged her tightly. I suddenly let her go walking over to the wall lifting up Umbra and Solaris before setting Solaris down against the wall again.

"I am no longer your master am I?" I asked myself as I looked down at my burned left hand. "You are starting to reject me... I am sorry." I Walked away from Solaris activating my magic as I walked. I felt the familiar sensation of being pulled before disappearing in a dark flash of purple.

I appeared in a flash of purple in the center of Celestia's throne room I flicked the shades on top of my head down stepping forward. "Ah Jon how may I help you?" Celestia said as I continued to walk forward.

"I revoke the Promise card. Now tell me what happened to them." I said calmly as Celestia let out a sigh of defeat.

"We lost contact with the Crystal Empire. Cadence and Shining run the kingdom but as of yesterday we lost contact with them." Celestia said standing from her throne walking down to me. "We think they have been capture by the Tyrant King Sombra."

"Tell me how to kill him." I said coldly as I felt my blood boil.

"I do not know Jon he is a master of shadows and very strong dark magic." She said as she motioned for me to follow her. "He was known to have a very bad temper. He was known as the King of Hatred. He caused so much destruction in his reign of terror." I rolled my eyes at her following.

"What is a King to a God?" I asked her as I continued to follow.

"Jon. Sombra is not an enemy to take lightly he gave me trouble when I had to fight him so be on your guard when facing him." Celestia opened a door that showed off a set of armor. "I was able to get the smith to forge what you have asked of me. I now show you your armor."

I smiled walking up to the armor lifting the helmet up looking it over I nodded at it as it was a solid black with a small visor set over where the eyes were. I slid the helmet on as I felt how it was on my head. Perfect fit. I grabbed the gauntlets sliding them over my arms I flexed my fingers felling the glove out before nodding once. I flicked my wrists as the metal expanded up encasing my arms up to the shoulders in the dark grey metal.

I picked up the boots sliding them over my own boots. I tapped my feet on the marble as the metal spread up over my knees. "Perfect fit all around. What is the material used?" I asked as I did a few small jumps to check my weight.

"They are made of Lunar Steel. The strongest material we have. It was difficult to get the metal but Luna said it would be best for someone like you." Celestia said as I threw a punch nodding.

"Tell Luna I said thank you." I said as I slammed my fists together to a loud clang and shower of sparks.

"There is one last piece." Celestia said using her magic to lift up the chest piece setting it on my chest. The metal flexed encasing the rest of my torso and thighs. "You look like one of the knights from the days of old." Celestia said with a small smile. I flipped up the helmet taking off my sunglasses tossing them to her.

"Now tell me how to get to this Crystal Empire... I have a king to slay." I said slamming the helmet closed.

I walked through Canterlot surrounded by a small escort of ten guards. Many of the nobles looked at the guards before their eyes locked with mine. A few of them began throwing insults at me as if I was a prisoner being escorted to some jail worse than Tartarus... I paid none of them any attention.

I felt something clank with my helmet but kept walking forward. I was already too deep in thought to care about these plebeians. I was escorted to a sky carriage which I boarded with only four guards. The other six got at the front before taking off into the skies going north.

"So are you supposed to be some sort of hot shot?" One of the guards asked as I turned my head to look at him. "Never seen that type of armor before so you must be some big shot."

"I'm here to save my friends and kill a king. Unless you are going to help me do so do not speak to me. Fucking idiot." I let out a low growl as the guard quickly turned away pulling at the collar of his armor.

Chapter 17: And Kick Ass I Shall

Salt, Anger, And Booze
Part 17: And Kick Ass I Shall

By: Major Frostwing

My blade connected with Sombra's in a shower of sparks we glared at each other as we both pushed against each other. The music helped fuel my urge to fight and my rage. We both broke apart jumping back before charging once again swinging our swords only for them to lock once again.

"Is this all the strength you can put forth?" Sombra asked as we broke apart before clashing once again.

"I'm only using one hand." I said as I took hold of Umbra with both hands as I began pushing Sombra back. I revved up Umbra as the teeth bounced Sombra's blade many times before knocking him back. I stabbed at him to see him deflect my attack away from him. "COME ON!" I yelled as I swung down on Sombra only for him to dodge to the side. Umbra buried it's self into the crystals under my feet.

"I can see I should take this a little more seriously." Sombra flicked his arm as a shield of crystal flew up from the wall connecting to his arm.

"Maybe I should as well." I said as I ripped Umbra out of the ground with ease revving it with a smile. Sombra jumped at me with his shield raised I smiled as I raised my left hand as a shield of my own appeared in my hand. It was a tower shield with no insignia which I quickly corrupted as teeth jutted out of the face of the shield. Sombra slammed his shield against mine only for me to slide backwards slightly.

I couldn't help but smile under my helmet as I gripped my shield tighter. "There is one problem you did not take into account Sombra." I said as we both pressed our shields harder.

"And what was that?" He asked as my shield began to shake.

"I FUCKING LOVE CHAINSAWS!" I yelled as the teeth on the shield began spinning around the face of the shield grinding into Sombra's crystal shield. Sombra quickly jumped back as he looked down at his shield to see his shield was almost completely devoured by my shield's teeth. The teeth came to a sudden stop with a loud clank.

"I see you are not as weak as I initially thought." Sombra said as he shook his shield rebuilding it. "What is your name?" Sombra asked as I slammed my shield into the ground taking my arm out of it only for a small knife to appear in my hand. I rotated it between my fingers before holding it by the blade.

"They call me Salt." I said as I tossed the knife up and down catching it by the blade every time it came down. "Now let's get this over with I have better things I could be doing." I said as I reared my arm back corrupting the knife before letting it fly. The blade spun twice before slamming into Sombra's shoulder.

Sombra looked down at the knife pulling it out with a grunt. "You will pay dearly for that." Sombra dropped the knife as I shrugged dispersing the shield and knife.

"Come and make me mother fucker." I said with a chuckle as Sombra jumped forward sword and shield at the ready. I lifted my hand as Sombra froze in mid air being surrounded by a dark purple haze. "Oh so close." I said with a hiss through my teeth rolling my hand once before flicking my hand out throwing him right back into his throne which he broke with his body. "I'm not even breaking a sweat. Celestia is a bigger challenge than you." I said looking down at my hand rolling it slowly.

I looked up just in time to see a tendril rocket out of the dust cloud hitting me upside the head. The tendril snaked back before Sombra walked out of the dust cloud adjusting his crown.

I adjusted myself so I was standing once again seeing that the visor on my helmet was unhinged. I took hold of the helmet pulling it off of my head tossing it over my shoulder. "Not a bad hit." I said nodding before cracking my neck with a tilt of my head. "But now I am pissed off." I took hold of Umbra charging forward jumping at Sombra sword raised. Sombra raised his shield as I landed sliding on my heel into a spin slamming my blade horizontally into his side. Sombra let out a grunt of pain as he slammed his shield into my blade knocking it away as he stabbed at me with his sword.

I swayed my body slightly only receiving a shallow cut on my cheek. I did another full spin raising Umbra above my head swinging straight down on him only to catch his shield. Sombra smiled as He used all of his power to shoved my blade up and out of the way. I saw he was going to stab me when I let go of my sword pointing two fingers down at his blade. With a quick flick of the wrist the blade flew free of his hand.

I coiled my left hand into a fist as my shadow jumped up to my hand creating my claw. Sombra looked up at me in horror as as I slammed my fist right into his shield throwing him backwards quite a distance. I flexed my left hand before catching Umbra. I flicked my hand toward me as Sombra's sword flew into my hand.

"A weak grip you got there Sombra." I said as I examined his blade. "You could have had me there for a second if not for that weak grip." I slammed Sombra's sword into the crystal floor before baseball swinging Umbra cleaving right through the blade.

"How do you have such control over the darkness?" Sombra asked as I looked up at him to see I had blown a hole through his shield. "It took years of study and training to harness this power but you wield it as if it has been a part of you all your life." I set my hand on my chin smiling.

"I was always told I had a dark streak going for me." I said with a solid nod. "Plus I control this corruption with one simple thought." I smiled as my shadow began to boil rising above me in the shape of a dragon's skull. "HOW MUCH FUN CAN I HAVE WITH YOUR CORPSE!" I yelled smiling like a maniac. Sombra took a step back as I stomped forward causing cracks to form under each step. "I came here to get my friends back Sombra. I'm gonna do just that but first..." I charged forward jumping into the air Umbra primed and ready. "I NEED YOU TO DIE!" Sombra raised what remained of his shield as Umbra cut right through the shield and in proxy him as well.

Sombra fell to the ground in two pieces as I stood over him. Umbra hanging over my shoulder. "I underestimated you... A mistake I will not make again. When I regenerate I will hunt you down... AND SLAUGHTER YOU!" I felt something tear through my stomach making my look down to see a tendril of darkness sticking out of my gut.

"Next time?" I asked as I took hold of the tendril ripping it out of my stomach tossing it to the side. "That's a fucking riot." I crouched down slamming Umbra next to Sombra's head before seizing him by his horn. I held my hand up in the air. "Scalpel." I said calmly as a surgical scalpel appeared in my hand as I smiled down at Sombra.

Sombra's eyes widened in horror as I floated over my helmet repairing it as I set it on my head flipping the visor down. "Now hold still Sombra... I have a perfect track record in surgery... Actually I have never performed surgery." I tapped my chin thinking. "Oh well first time for everything." I said with a smile as I began cutting around the base of his horn. That's when the screaming started.

An hour later I had successfully removed Sombra's horn and was now flipping it in my hand. "See that wasn't so bad now was it?" I tapped Sombra's cheek as his head rolled lazily to the side. "Oh yea... you died 2 minutes ago... BOOOOOOORING!" I yelled before sighing. "Oh well I had fun. Time to clean up this mess and get them out of here." I picked Sombra's corpse up from the ground dragging it to his seat I nodded as I flashed the horn out of existence focusing on the large crystals that held the real reason I came here. I shrugged as I flicked my hand raising all of the crystals into the air.

Even though I wanted to get them out of their prisons this was not the place to do it... I set a hand over my stomach seeing that my wound had already healed. Silver lining I suppose. I walked out of the throne room setting all of the crystals down before turning back to the doors. I raised my hands as a giant padlock appeared locking the doors. "Good no entry allowed." I said smiling to myself before turning back to my goal.

"Hey Nightmare any idea how to get them out?" I asked as she appeared next to me.

"A strong enough hit should release them from their prisons or you could absorb the corruption. Your call." Nightmare said as I shrugged cracking my knuckles as I reared back punching the first crystal prison that held Twilight. 16 punches later and they were all free. Each one was leaning against the wall groaning as I stood across from them leaning on Umbra. Shining Armor was the first to get his bearings together sadly when he saw me he didn't know who I was so he did the only logical thing.

I took a concussive spell right to the forehead as my helmet was knocked off. I held my forehead with both hands hissing in pain. "MOTHER FUCKER SHINING WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT!?" I demanded as I looked up at him he took a step back a little stunned to see me. "I SAVE YOUR ASS AND YOU SHOOT ME!? NEXT TIME I'M NOT SAVING YOU!" I picked up my helmet shaking my head out as everyone else came around and saw me. The scouting party were on their guard when they saw I was a nightmare creature now but Shining put them at ease.

"Jon is that you?" Twilight asked as I rolled my eyes.

"No I'm Princess Celestia. WHO THE FUCK ELSE WOULD IT BE!?" I yelled raising my hands in anger.

"But that armor, and our capture, and and Sombra? What happened?" Twilight asked as her friends nodded in agreement. I let out a groan of annoyance.

"Armor is because I commissioned it. I came to rescue you fucks. I killed Sombra for taking you all... Here is your proof." Sombra's horn appeared in my hand as I tossed it to Shining. He caught it before dropping it to the floor.

"Jon... How did you get his horn?" Shining asked as I cracked a smile.

"I am a very good surgeon." I saw all of the unicorn blessed people raised their hands to cover their horns.

"Wait what do you mean by that?" Rainbow asked as Applejack was the first non-unicorn to catch on to what I said.

"He means he cut the horn out of his head." Applejack said in a near whisper.

"Yes I did." I said as Sombra's horn flew back to me before disappearing. "I have no regrets of doing so and would GLADLY do it again." I turned on my heel walking towards the exit. "Come along now. It's a long walk back to the Crystal Empire and I would like to make it before nightfall." I said as they all slowly began to follow me.

Chapter 18: I Did It And Would Again

Salt, Anger, And Booze
Part 18: I Did It And Would Again

By: Major Frostwing

I stood inside of the Crystal Empire Castle which was interesting when the shield dropped and people began to panic and run in fear. It made me chuckle as I lead everyone.

Now I get to stand before Cadence and Shining as if on trial. A little while ago they had sent a letter to Princess Celestia and to Luna... Yay I get yelled at for doing what I did. I was sitting in a chair flipping Sombra's hand in my magic lazily. Everyone in attendance was watching me with concern. The guards looked like they were ready to defend their Princess at the drop of the hat. I looked away from the horn looking at my bracer as I floated it lazily in my magic as well before reaching for it only for it to shock me violently.

I shook out my hand feeling a light sting in my finger tips. I lifted my head slowly looking behind me to see the doors open to reveal Celestia and Luna walk in. They looked over at me seeing me float my bracer and Sombra's horn. With a flick of my wrist the horn disappeared.

"Jon I see you haven't put the bracer back on." Celestia said as she walked towards me. "If you don't put it on the corruption will spread without slowing."

"I know and I would if I could." I said with a sigh floating the bracer over to her. "The bracer is effecting me in a violent way now. Now all it does is shock me and try to hurt me." I said as Celestia took hold of the bracer looking it over.

"Jon if you can't even interact with the bracer." Celestia looked up at me as I lifted the visor showing that I had changed completely. I gave her a sad smile before snapping my fingers making the bracer disappear and Sombra's horn to replace it. Celestia looked down at the horn as her eyes widened.

"I cut it out of his head." I said calmly flicking my visor down getting to my feet. "You gonna yell at me about it?" I asked as she just stared at me in silence. "If so stow it." I shook out my hand as I walked towards her. I saw the guards move forward to intercept me as Luna moved forward as well as if to stop me. I raised my hands as a dark purple mist seized the guards by their chest plates I pointed straight down as the guards were slammed to the ground. I rolled my wrists pointing them at the walls to see them being thrown into the walls. "I am going home since I have very little time left." I continued to walk forward as I passed Luna as she set her hand on my shoulder. I stopped as I took hold of her hand gently moving it off of me.

"Let him go Luna. He isn't here to fight anymore." Celestia said as I released Luna walking past Celestia straight to the throne room door. "How long do you think Jon?" Celestia asked as I gripped the doors to the throne room making sure to be careful with them.

"Maybe... a week." I said lowering my head as I gripped the handles tightly feeling them give out under the strain. I threw the doors open a little harder than I wanted as the doors gave out breaking under the new found strength. Everyone in the throne room jumped slightly as I walked through the doors into the hallway before disappearing in a flash of purple light.

I appeared back in Ponyville feeling a bit of vertigo from the teleport but quickly shook it off. A few of the inhabitants stopped as they stared at me I turned my head slowly looking them over. They all took a tentative step backwards. I shook my head slowly before making my way towards Red's house.

No one got in my way as I walked towards her house. I need to see her one last time. I stopped before her door raising my hand towards the door hesitating. I closed my eyes as I finally knocked on the door. I heard frantic running as the door was ripped open by Red she stared at me for a second as I let out a sigh.

"Hey Red." I said as she stared at me before wrapping me in a hug I returned the hug as she began to cry in my shoulder. I didn't need to tell her for she already knew. My time was almost up. I gently picked her up stepping into the house closing the door behind me with my foot.

"How long do we have left?" She asked between her sobs as I only tightened my grip of her. I only heard her sob louder. I felt my own tears sting my eyes.

After a few minutes Red finally had enough strength to compose herself as she sat on the couch. I stood by the door stripping off my armor she watched me in silence as I took off my helmet dropping it to the floor. I turned around to look at her a sad smile on her face which made me smile to her as well.

"I'm sorry Red..." I finally said as she looked at me with a flash of fear. I reached out strapping Umbra to my back. I lifted my armor in my magic as it all disappeared in a small flash of purple. I reached out taking hold of the strap on Solaris putting it over my back. She stood up from her seat on the couch running over to me as I disappeared in a flash of purple.

I stood on the outskirts of Ponyville staring out towards the small town as I saw Red run out of her home looking around frantically for me. It tore my heart in two but I don't know what will happen when I am gone. Better safe than sorry. I saw her look up towards my direction and stop. I let out a sigh turning on my heel making my way towards the mountains in the distance. I let out a bitter chuckle as Nightmare appeared next to me.

"Jon." She said as she set her hand on my shoulder. I only kept walking as I looked at her out of the corner of my eye.

"Let's talk strategy Nightmare. I know you are going to take over and I'll be gone. You know nothing of my tactics so I will explain them to you in detail. I have little time left to explain it all to you so you will need to know all of it." I told her as she removed her hand from my shoulder.

"Jon... You talk as if you are already dead." She said as I let out a laugh.

"I am Nightmare." I said as I tapped my fist against her shoulder. "But we need to talk protocols as well. Contingency plans in case certain things happen." She watched me as I made fists. "You either will try and take over the world or you will be the one to protect them all. I hope it is the latter Nightmare I really do." Nightmare looked at me before nodding.

"We have this body for long enough that I know the real you Jon. You only want to help but your anger got in the way of that. I will carry on your will with rage that will make you proud." I nodded as I raised my fist to her as she tapped it with her own.

"At least they will be in good hands."

Chapter 19: Gone For So Long

Salt, Anger, And Booze
Part 19: Gone For So Long

By: Major Frostwing

Twilight was sitting in her Library reading a book on Pegasus. It had been a year since her coronation... And since Jon disappeared. Twilight let out a sigh closing the book getting to her feet walking out of her home to go check on her friends. Each of them took his disappearance differently than her. Red took it the worse and still believes he is out there somewhere.

She waved at everyone in town that she passed making her way towards Sugar Cube Corner. She wondered what Pinkie Pie was up to. She took it almost as hard as Red but she bounced back in time. It was still rough to see Pinkie in such a deep depression. Twilight opened the door to Sugar Cube Corner to see all of her friends sitting at a table already. "That's oddly convenient." Twilight said with a shrug sitting down at the table.

"Hey Twilight." Pinkie said with a smile which made everyone else smile. "I already ordered your favorite." Twilight nodded her head in thanks as the whole building seemed to shake. All of them looked at each other in confusion as they looked outside to see nothing was wrong.

"Maybe it was just an earthquake?" Rainbow said with a shrug. They all rolled their eyes before getting up from their seats. They left the small bakery making their way towards Twilight's home.

When they finally arrived Spike was running out of the door a scroll held in his hand Twilight was handed the scroll as she read it over quickly.

"Girls I am going to Canterlot." Twilight said as the scroll dropped out of her hands. She took off in a mad sprint towards the train station taking to the air suddenly as a crack of air sounded from her take off. She forgoed the train and decided to fly instead. It was gonna be faster after all.

Twilight landed in Canterlot with a skid on her heels. She was out of breath but she kept going as she threw open the doors to the throne room to see Princess Celestia, Luna, and Cadence.

Twilight saw that they each had looks of somber defeat and she dreaded what was about to happen.

Nightmare sat atop of the mountains outside of Ponyville Umbra and Solaris still resting on her back as she stared down at the small town. Jon had told her everything she needed to know to be a terror on the battlefield along with all of his contingency plans. She had felt the rumble in the ground which made her look up towards the distance to see a large creature advance on Canterlot. Nightmare continued to watch in silence.

"You will protect them with everything I have taught you. Your enemies will cower under that brutality we share. But if you do not protect them or god forbid betray them. I will find a way to be in charge and throw you out of my body. I will kill you so painfully that Sombra's death would look like a quick death." Night replayed Jon's last message to her in her head as she closed her eyes getting to her feet. She looked down at the gauntlets on her arms as she gave them a flex. The metal crawled up her arms across her chest and down her legs.

"Time to get to work." Nightmare said in a two tone voice that seemed to echo with Jon's voice. The helmet crawled up the back of her head encasing her face. She stood watching the monster begin it's march towards Ponyville.

Nightmare flexed her magic as wings shot out of her back she took to the air slowly flying up high into the air resting on a cloud above the outskirts of Ponyville. That's where she waited to strike. She would strike without warning and without mercy. Just like Jon would.

Chapter 20: But Not Forgotten

Salt, Anger, And Booze
Part 20: But Far From Forgotten

By: Major Frostwing

Nightmare sat a top of the cloud staring down at Ponyville. She adjusted the blade on her back slightly making sure it sat right on her back. Jon had named the blade immediately when he got it. The blade seemed to want to be swung and wielded with reckless abandon. Nightmare didn't know why Jon had poured so much hate into the blade but it fit the blade perfectly. Solaris the other blade she carried on her back seemed to be content with not being used. Not like she could wield it anyway.

Nightmare watched Twilight running around telling her friends to herd everyone out of town and to a safe zone for them to be. Nightmare rolled her wrist cracking it loudly as she saw the monster stomp towards the town.

Tirek was the monster's name and he was a magic sucking parasite. Nightmare let out a sigh placing a hand over her heart. "Who am I kidding? I'm a monster as well... But at least I kill the real monsters." Nightmare took a deep breath as she continued to wait. She would only move when the time was right. Until then she needed to be patient. Nightmare clenched her hands into tight fists before letting them relax.

Tirek stomped his march on the small town to charge a beam of energy launching it at the buildings. The buildings could not hold up against the onslaught of pure destructive power as they exploded and collapsed from the damage.

Nightmare couldn't help but tighten her grip on Umbra.

Tirek walked forward burning and destroying anything in his path. Nightmare's blood boiled at the violence being thrown on these innocents. She just wanted to jump down there and destroy the monster but she needed to wait. His time would come.

Nightmare saw Twilight running through the town making her way away from Tirek when he caught sight of her. Nightmare raised her hand taking aim at Twilight Tirek launched a beam right at the Library that was Twilight's home. Nightmare had put up a shield to protect Twilight from the destruction that was about to occurred as she was thrown out of her blown up home. Nightmare dropped the shield the second she was out of harm's way.

Twilight was thrown into a blind rage as she charged at Tirek with reckless abandon as she launched a huge beam of energy that slammed into the shield Tirek surrounded himself in. Nightmare was about to jump down. Her need to fight and kill Tirek running on high but she held herself back. There was a plan... Jon came up with every scenario and she was going to follow it to the letter. Protocol 7 is necessary.

Twilight and Tirek continued to fight launching huge destructive attacks. Nightmare continued to shake with rage as she wanted to fight but couldn't. She stood up drawing Umbra from her back as she got ready to fight. It was almost time to put the plan into action.

Twilight was thrown into a single choice. Either pick between keeping her magic and the magic of the other Alicorns or save her friends. Twilight decided to throw away her magic as she was thrown to her other friends. Each of them had already been drained of their magic and Tirek let out a loud bellow of laughter as he raised his hand towards them a large ball of energy appearing in his hand aimed right at them.

"NOW TO MAKE SURE NONE OF YOU CAN EVER OPPOSE ME!" Tirek yelled as he prepared to launch his attack. Nightmare got in position as she jumped off the cloud falling down between Tirek and his target.

Twilight and her friends cowered as Nightmare landed right in the path of the attack raising Umbra blade facing towards Tirek as he launched his attack. The beam of energy slammed into Umbra as the beam was split in half harmlessly passing by all of them. Tirek stared with wide eyes as Nightmare stared down her target.

"And what are you supposed to be?" Tirek asked as Nightmare stood tall cracking her neck. "Do you think you have the power to take me on?" Tirek asked with a loud bout of laughter.

Twilight looked up to see Nightmare's back. "J-Jon?" Twilight asked as Nightmare spun the blade once slamming it into the ground before herself.

"I have absorbed the power of every alicorn on this planet I control the sun and moon. What makes you think you can even challenge me?" Tirek asked as Nightmare cracked a smile under her helmet.

"Simple really." Nightmare said with her two tone voice. "We have a plan." Nightmare disappeared in a flash as she was suddenly in front of Tirek's face fist reared back as she cracked Tirek right in the face with all her might. Tirek's face was forced to the left as he took two steps back holding his face in pain.

"Jon? Is that really you?" Twilight asked as Nightmare walked back towards them taking hold of Umbra lifting it up onto her shoulder.

"No... Jon is gone..." Nightmare said as she turned back towards Tirek. "You all need to get out of here. It will take everything in my power to take down Tirek and with you all here I can't pull out all the stops." Tirek looked up at Nightmare roaring in anger as he launched a ball of energy right at them. Nightmare baseball swung Umbra knocking the ball right back at Tirek which knocked him back into a partially collapsed building.

"So you are Nightmare Moon and Jon is gone. We were to kill you when you took Jon over. But Jon disappeared. Where did you go?" Twilight asked as Nightmare looked over her shoulder.

"We will talk later now get out of here." Nightmare said as she jumped right head long into the fight against Tirek.

Nightmare didn't lie it took everything in her power just to keep Teric at bay. She was constantly on the defensive after Tirek was able to get his footing. Nightmare raised Umbra blocking another strike from Tirek as his punch threw Nightmare through a building. She shook her head getting back to her feet jumping back at Tirek only to be caught by him in a bone crushing grip.

Nightmare tried everything in her power to break free of the grip but couldn't even budge.

"You have tested my patience you little gnat but now I can take that power you hold so dear. I will drain every ounce of magic in your body leaving you nothing more than a lifeless husk. Nothing can survive in this world with no magic in their body." Tirek said bringing Nightmare right up to his face.

"That doesn't sound so bad." Nightmare said as Tirek tightened his grip slightly making Nightmare take a gasp of air as it was force out of her.

"You say that now." Tirek opened his mouth as magic began to drain from Nightmare. She felt everything being pulled away as the armor around her body began receding to it's original form. Nightmare let out a weak smile as that last of her were pulled out of Jon's body.

"Protocol 7... In effect." Nightmare whispered out as the last of her was ripped out of Jon's body joining the magic storage of Tirek.

Jon's body hung limply in Tirek's grip. "Nothing more than a little gnat. Not even worth my time." Tirek muttered as he dropped Jon's limp body to the ground.

"NOW NOTHING CAN STOP ME! YOUR LAST CHAMPION LAYS ON THE GROUND DEAD I HAVE WON!" Tirek yelled as he let out a loud torrent of laughter Marching his way back towards Canterlot.

A light beat of music began as Tirek stopped to listen. He looked over his shoulder at where Jon laid down holding his phone in his hand a song playing through the tiny speaker.

"The fool must have been trying to use that strange device to defeat me. What could music do against a god?" Tirek asked as something made him pause.

Jon moved his phone setting it down on the ground before slowly getting to his feet. "Oh fuck I slept great." Jon said as he stretched his arms before looking over to Tirek the look in his eyes spoke of hatred even he did not know existed. "Now who woke me up from my nap? Cuz I am gonna fucking tear them in half." Jon reached up onto his back drawing Solaris slamming the blade into the ground with a wicked smile.

I stood before the giant behemoth that was most likely the cause of Protocol 7 being used. That means I don't have magic or any of my corrupting powers. Well it wouldn't be fun if it was too easy.

I looked down at my feet seeing Umbra laying on the grass. I cracked a smile leaning down picking up the blade. "Umbra good buddy I missed you while I was locked away." I said as I gave the blade a test swing.

"I drained you of all your magic..." I looked away from my blade looking at the monster once more.

"What's your fucking point? Who the fuck are you anyway?" I asked as I rested Solaris on my shoulder and leaned on Umbra.

"I AM TERIK!" Tirek yelled as I arched an eyebrow at him. "I have conquered Equestria so what can you hope to do now? You have no magic and nothing you do can harm my body." I looked down at Umbra before looking at Solaris smiling nodding my head.

"looks like you got a fair handicap if you ask me." I said rolling my shoulders cracking my neck as I slid Umbra into it's holster. "I will only use one sword at a time just so it is even more fair." I lowered Solaris off of my shoulder holding it at the ready. "So enough with your bitchin' and let's fight I got to scratch this itch."

Tirek raised his hand charging a bright red orange beam of magic. I raised Solaris with a smile as the attack flew right at me only for me to smack the beam aside into a burning building. "You fought a copy dear Tirek let's see how you deal with an original." I charged forward raising Solaris above my head. Tirek just smiled puffing his chest out as if challenging my attack head on.

I noticed a shield pop up around him as I began my swing. "LIKE THAT WILL STOP ME!" I yelled as Solaris cut right through the shield like a hot knife through butter. Solaris cut deep into Tirek's chest as wisps of energy flew out of his wound.

"WHAT IS THAT SWORD!?" Tirek demanded as I smiled giving Solaris a single spin before charging once again.

"It's nothing special." I said calmly swinging at Tirek once again only for him to dodge the blade. "NOW SIT STILL MOTHER FUCKER WHILE I GUT YOU!" I jumped forward only for Tirek to jump back dodging my swing. He set his hand over his wound as more wisps of energy flew out of his wound I saw a dark purple wisp fly out rocketing off towards Canterlot.

"Good... Protocol 8 is in effect. I am glad that Nightmare memorized all of my little plans and contingencies." I said to myself as I continued to chase after Tirek as he continued to dodge my attacks.

I swung Solaris aiming to cleave Tirek in half only for him to sidestep the swing. I cracked a wicked smile as Solaris slammed into the ground only for me to drag the blade through the dirt putting another cut across Tirek's chest. The cuts now crisscrossed each other as I jumped back drawing Umbra from it's hold on my back.

"I will enjoy crushing you into dust." Tirek growled as I let out a short laugh.

"I think you need to come up with something less cliche." I spun both Solaris and Umbra in my hands. "How about this." I pointed Umbra at Tirek as if taking aim. "When I finally put both of my blades into your chest cavity I am going to take a nice big tree trunk. Sharpen one end and proceed to introduce you to one of the most vile forms of killing." I smacked Solaris and Umbra together and White and black lightning arced between them.

"I dare you to try." Tirek raised his hand aiming right for my head.

"I am getting fed up with your shit Tirek... Like holy fuck you make me want to swan dive off a cliff." I jumped forward swinging Umbra with all my might. Tirek raised his shield as Umbra slammed into the shield.

"Than do it you insect." I gave a cocky smile as I reared back Solaris cutting right through the shield that protected him. I used my momentum to do a full spin dragging Umbra up right into Tirek arms as he raised them. He let out a roar of pain only to let out an even louder roar of pain as Solaris followed shortly after.

I smiled as I continued my onslaught swinging both Umbra and Solaris tearing through Tirek slowly but surely. Tirek was also shrinking according to what I could see more and more wisps flew out of Tirek's body in torrents. I couldn't help but laugh at the whole scenario.

"Tirek. Tirek. Tirek. How did you think this was going to end?" I asked taking a few steps towards Tirek's fallen form. "You were going to kill me then make your way to the rest of the world? Simple. Kill the last little resistance and assert your rule." I stopped just before him looking down at his pathetic form. "You failed to take out ONE weak, magic-less, pathetic, and useless creature. All because you didn't think of everything. You will remember this for all of a few seconds Tirek." I raised Solaris up slamming it through Tirek's back pinning him to the ground. I released Solaris dragging Umbra stepping to the side of him.

"Don't worry Tirek. I am a great barber. I'll just take a little off the top." I raise Umbra up before bringing Umbra down decapitating Tirek with a smile. I nodded at my work before sliding Umbra home in it's sheath. "Fuck! It is good to be back." I said ripping Solaris out of Tirek's body before sheathing it as well.

I sat down waiting. Everyone should have realized the large torrents of magic returning to all the people. So I decided to wait laying my back on the soft grass smiling as the sun beat down on my body. "I'm waiting Nightmare. Time to finish Protocol 8." I said to myself as I continued to relax in silence.

Chapter 21: Engage Protocol 8 Unrelenting Force

Salt, Anger, And Booze
Part 21: Engage Protocol 8 Unrelenting Force

By: Major Frostwing

I opened my eyes to see darkness quickly creeping up in the sky above me. I let out a smile as I kicked myself up stretching out my arms. "Come on Nightmare. I am waiting." I said stomping my foot down on Solaris's blade as it launched into the air. I reached up snatching the blade out of the air.

I saw Twilight and her friends running up to where I was but they stopped when they saw me and the decapitated body of Teric. I looked over to them before smiling. "Hey girls long time no see." I said giving them a two finger salute. They all ran forward to me wrapping me in a large group hug as I returned the hug with a gentle squeeze. "Come on you guys I wasn't gonna stay gone long just needed to be patient." I said as a presence made it's self known.

I looked over the see a large mass of shadows gathering. I untangled myself from them walking past them drawing Umbra. "Twilight I need you to do me a favor." I said as I waited for the mass to solidify.

"What is it Jon?" Twilight asked watching the darkness with uneasiness.

"Drop some magic into me. I only need enough for about 5 minutes worth of combat." I said as I slammed Umbra into the ground.

"Jon My magic is unstable. It could destroy you." I gave her a cocky smile.

"Sounds like a fun time. Do it." I held my hand out to her as she looked at the hand wearily before finally grabbing my hand. I felt a warm light fill my chest before it began to burn. I let out a grunt of pain as I accepted the magic into my body. I tightened my hand into a fist as light pink lightning arced up my arms. The burning finally subsided as a mark appeared on my forearms. It was Twilight's cutie mark.

I shook out my arms as I tightened my grip on Solaris as I looked down at my right hand as a lavender haze formed in my hand before solidifying. "Back in my world we developed something." I began as the girls looked at me with confusion. "Something that could take a life with the simple squeeze of a finger. This weapon had so many different forms... but they all had the same name." The mass of darkness solidified to reveal Nightmare Moon looking at me calmly.

Nightmare Moon raised her hand as Umbra flew to her hand. We both nodded to each other as Nightmare raised Umbra ready to fight. I raised the lavender object taking aim. "We called it a gun." I squeezed the trigger as a very small flash launched out of the end of the barrel with a loud bang. Nightmare felt something hit right above her head. She looked behind her to see her crown laying on the ground behind her with a hole through the top of it.

I charged at Nightmare raising Solaris onto my shoulder as I fired two more rounds at her. The rounds hit Umbra with flashes of purple and two loud concussive blasts. Umbra was knocked to the side as I jumped swinging down at Nightmare. She used the force of me shooting Umbra to spin it around knocking Solaris off course. I smiled as I tilted my gun shooting once hitting Nightmare in the chest as her chest plate cracked under the force.

Nightmare took a few steps back holding a hand over her broken chest plate. She looked at me but not with a glare but with respect. "I never knew you were hiding such things from me Jon." Nightmare said as I straightened myself out.

"I told you how I fight with a sword. I gave you all of those strategies. But I never told you how I fought with a gun or my fists." I smiled as I slammed Solaris into the ground. I pulsed my magic feeling the bracelet on my wrist morph forming only two gauntlets. I flicked my right hand as a second gun formed in it. "Now let's fight." I said as I raised both of my pistols taking aim at Nightmare only for her to disappear in a flash of light. I smiled as I moved my pistol over my shoulder pulling the trigger as another round slammed into Nightmare's chest plate breaking it more.

Nightmare took a step back as she let out a sigh. "I know my own tactics. Teleport as much as you want I will be waiting with a shot with your name on it." I turned around raising both pistols firing upon Nightmare Moon. She used Umbra as a shield but was struggling with the force of each round that hit her guard. I took steps forward as I stopped firing with one gun I used my magic to cock the gun as I continued to fire. It was just for ascetic but it made me feel better.

I looked over to see Twilight and the others charging towards Nightmare as I pointed one of my pistols at them firing a single round as it ripped past Twilight's head. "DO NOT INTERFERE!" I bellowed as I turned my attention to see Nightmare get to her feet and charge at me. I dismissed my pistols lowering my left fist before unleashing an uppercut into the flat of Umbra knocking away the blade which missed my head by centimeters. I reared back my right fist hitting Nightmare in the face knocking her back before I charged her taking. I took hold of Umbra's blade pulling her forward before putting my full weight into my next punch putting Nightmare flat on her ass. I took one last step rearing my foot back before launching it forward with all my strength into her chin. Her head snapped back. Using my momentum I jumped off my left foot putting me in the air I came back down slamming my fist with everything I had right into Nightmare's head. Her head flew down into the ground.

Slowly I got to my feet pulling my fist back to see I had broken Nightmare's muzzle something fierce. I took hold of Umbra throwing the blade away from us as I kept my eyes on Nightmare. She let out a weak cough as blood splattered her face. I kept a calm face as she gave me a pathetic smile.

"Protocol 8... Unrelenting Force." I said with a sigh. "Complete." Nightmare coughed again as she weakly raised her arm as I took hold of it. "Heal her. You know the deal."

Nightmare gave a weak nod as her face began to repair it's self of the broken bones. I smiled to her as I felt Twilight's magic wear out as her cutie mark disappeared from my forearms. "You are one mean son of a bitch Jon." Nightmare muttered as the bruising from the fight would still remain. Nightmare poured her magic into me as I felt the cold magic meld with my body. I rolled my neck as the process was finished. Nightmare Moon was gone and Luna layed on the ground eyes wide open as she let out a weak groan of pain.

"Suck it up Buttercup." I said as I pulled her to her feet. "Sorry you had to be used for Protocol 8 but there was no other way to do it. So sorry for trashing you in a fight." I said as Luna moved her jaw around a bit cracking it loudly.

"I heard everything from her... and I had agreed but did not appreciate it." Luna reared back her fist punching me square in the face throwing me back a few feet from the force.

"Yea... I deserved that." I groaned out as I got to my feet. I flexed my magic as my skin turned black as pitch before returning to normal. "It was necessary to the plan though." I said as i motioned with my hands making both of Umbra and Solaris to return to my hands. I sheathed them both with a smile.

"What in Tartarus was Protocol 8" Twilight asked running up to me. "AND WHY DID YOU SHOOT AT US?!" I rolled my eyes sighing.

"Protocol 7 is if there is ever a creature that could absorb magic Nightmare was to allow herself to be taken from me. Then I put down whatever took her. Protocol 8 is if Nightmare doesn't return to me and instead returns to Luna." I said motioning to her. "Then Me and Nightmare would fight it out to see if I am a good enough vessel for her magic. She would willingly give me full control over her magic instead of just a fraction of it. Now I can choose when to go Nightmare or stay me instead of it slowly corrupting me over time." I gave a shrug. "Long shot in the dark blindfolded but worth it."

Each of the girls stared at me with slacked jaws.

"That has to be the dumbest plan ever made." Luna said as she joined us.

"Yea. That's why it was perfect." I said with a cocky smile.

Chapter 22: Aftermath

Salt, Anger, And Booze
Part 22: Aftermath

by: Major Frostwing

I walked through the ruins of Ponyville scowling at the amount of destruction to my own home. I saw people crying and on their hands and knees. I saw people moving rubble away from the broken homes. All of this destruction... This pain... FOR WHAT!?

I clenched my hands into tight fists as I raised them slowly. The ground began to shake violently as all of the rubble was surrounded in a dark purple aura. The rubble shifted and moved as it slowly began to rebuild the town. I was grunting in pain from the strain this much magic was putting on my body. I saw people looking around when they caught sight of me I saw the recognition in their eyes but I needed to focus.

After only 10 minutes of me pouring as much as I could into rebuilding the town it was finally done. I dropped to my knees gasping for breath as blood poured out of my nose, ears, and eyes. I coughed hard before catching my breath. I raised my hand wiping the blood away and out of my eyes as I looked around seeing the town was back to it's former glory. I smiled getting to my feet uneasily. A few people caught me when I almost collapsed but I shook off their grasps taking a few steps towards my home.

I moved slowly stopping before Red's house. "I'm finally home..." I said calmly as I took off Umbra and Solaris setting them beside the door. I walked up to the table in the kitchen sitting down. I used my magic to move the coffee machine to turn it on. I waited calmly for the machine to finish it's start up. I blinked my eyes a few times feeling the dull pain throb through my body.

The coffee machine let out a loud ping saying that it was done. I got to my feet going to get some cups and the coffee. I turned from the coffee maker making my way towards the hospital. She was probably there.

I moved through the town making my way towards the Hospital carrying both of the mugs of coffee. I saw the building in the distance with all of the staff outside in tents moving around frantically trying to move all the patients they had in the hospital back into it. I saw so many people injured that in made my blood boil but they would live nothing immediately life threatening from what I could see.

I saw her. It was only a flash of her hair but I knew I saw her. I moved faster into a tent seeing a few kids that had minor injuries and Red helping them and telling them little jokes to make them laugh and have fun. It brought a smile to my face as I watched her work. She seemed to notice me as she turned around looking at me. She froze as her eyes widened in recognition.

"J-Jon...?" She asked as I gave her a smirk.

"Hey Red." I said as I held out a cup of coffee. "2 creams and 2 sugars right?" I asked as she get to her feet taking the cup of coffee out of my hand looking down at it before looking up at me. She gave me a sweet smile before throwing the coffee in my face. It was still hot but nothing I couldn't deal with.

"I think I deserved that one." I said wiping away the coffee on my face.

"Yes you did..." She said as she took my mug drinking it slowly. "I still owe you more but for now I am just happy to have you back." Red said as she wrapped her arms around me smiling. I wrapped my own arms around her as she squeezed harder. "Now go home and get some rest I have to finish my shift." I reluctantly released my grip walking out of the tent. I smiled looking up at the sky nodding my head heading back towards home. I needed as much sleep as I could get Red was going to kick my ass.

Epilogue: OH COME ON!

Salt, Anger, And Booze
Epilogue: OH COME ON!

By: Major Frostwing

I was walking in Canterlot Castle making my way towards the throne room. It has been 4 years since I killed Tirek and returned to everyone. I smiled to myself as I adjusted both Umbra and Solaris on my back. A few of the guards looked to me as I moved my shadow around as it suddenly stood up next to me revealing Nightmare Moon walking next to me.

"I sense nothing out of the ordinary Jon so stop being so paranoid." Nightmare said as I rolled my eyes.

"I am allowed to be paranoid Nightmare it's in my nature." I said as I saw the doors to the throne room with two guards flanking them. I gave them a two finger salute as I walked up to the doors kicking them open with a loud bang. "OH TIA I'M HOME!" I yelled as the windows rattled from my volume.

"I heard." Celestia said with a sigh seeing Blueblood on the ground hands over his ears. "I was in the middle of discussing something with my nephew." I let out a laugh as Nightmare returning to being my shadow.

"Was it kicking him out so he will learn something about the real world?" I asked as Tia shook her head.

"You know why I called here Jon. You are the Fist of the Kingdom after all." I smiled nodding my head.

"Yea so what am I dealing with now? It better be worth pulling me away from my wife... It is date night after all." I said with a smile slamming my fists together.

"I have been getting some rather interesting letters from a new threat." Celestia rolled her wrist as a single letter floated into her hand. "You can go over it at your leisure." I floated the letter over to myself reading it over.

"I'm coming for you... Well that is fucking boring." I muttered as I burned the letter still seeing Blueblood on the ground trying to regain his senses. "WILL YOU GET OFF THE GROUND YOU INSIGNIFICANT WORM!?" I asked kicking Blueblood once in the ribs knocking the wind out of him.

"Jon." Celestia said warning me if I continued I would be in trouble.

"I'm done." I said raising my hands as I felt a disturbance in the air. "Oh ho ho looks like I'm not done." I said turning around drawing Umbra. The doors to the throne room were thrown open as the two guards landed in a heap at my feet. I rolled my neck as my armor moved like liquid up my arms encasing them it black and silver metal.

A man charged into the throne wearing a dark red robe as he cackled like mad. I looked at him raising my eyebrow at him as he pointed dramatically at Celestia. "I have defeated all of your guards Celestia you will fall under my magical might." He cackled more as I grit my teeth raising my hand as my magic took hold turning into a pistol. I aimed down the sights letting out a whistle.

"Oi fuck wit." I said as he looked at me. "Bang." I said with a smile as I shot him in the chest knocking him to the ground. "Well that was annoying and lack luster." I said with a sigh. I saw the man stir getting to his feet.

"Well that is a little impressive." Celestia said as I saw the small cracked shield he had put over his chest.

"I am all powerful... Only my magic can pierce this shield so you have been beaten Celestia." He raised his hand charging a small ball of black magic before launching it at me. I rolled my eyes raising my own hand as wisps of black smoke raced up my arms and legs engulfing my whole being corrupting me as I smiled a full mouth of razor sharp teeth. I caught the orb as the force only pushed me back a few feet.

"Next time..." I reared back charging up my own spell as small rings appeared before me. "ADD MORE PEPPER!" I yelled as I threw the orb as hard as I could causing a small shock-wave of energy from the speed of my thrown. The ball passed through the first ring as it picked up more speed hitting the second ring and then the third and finally the forth each time getting faster and faster. The orb slammed into the man's chest before exploding from the force throwing him right through the wall of the castle as he flew off into the distance. I stood back up straight spinning my wrist smiling. I brought my fingers to my lips. "Mwah! Now that's a spicy." I said as I felt my magic recede to it's normal levels.

"As usual whenever I bring you here to deal with a threat you destroy part of my castle." Celestia said shaking her head.

"OH COME ON!" I yelled as she let out a sigh. "Only one wall and you throw a fit. Next time you deal with it." I waved my hand good bye as I was preparing to teleport. "You know where to find me Tia now I am going back to my wife. Date night waits for no man." I said as I teleported away.

I appeared outside my home in Ponyville. I stood there for a second summoning a mirror looking myself over. "Nightmare is my hair ok?" I asked as I moved my hair around a bit as Nightmare appeared by my side.

"Jon your hair is always a mess." She said with a sigh.

"Perfect!" I said with a smile dismissing the mirror before opening the door. "Oh Honey I'm home!" I yelled only for a knife to fly across the room sticking next to my head. I glanced at the knife before looking at my wife as she smiled at me flipping another knife in her hand.

"You're late." She said calmly as I nodded my head.

"Celestia wanted me to deal with a threat and I dealt with it. We are still in time for the movie and dinner." I pointed out as the second knife went sailing towards me. I caught the knife in my magic stopping it before my heart. "Now it would be a shame to break the heart you poured all that time into fixing." I pointed out before moving both knives into the knife block. "I see you have been practicing." I said walking up to her wrapping my arms around her. She let out a sigh hugging me back.

"Why did I marry you again?" She asked as I pulled away.

"I think it was because the only way I could propose to you was with a very sappy and might I add sad display on my part... I even wrote out an entire plan of attack for the thing... Which you found a day early and proceeded to make fun of me... But I did go through it anyway." I explained slowly realizing how pathetic it all sounded coming out of my mouth.

Red giggled as she wrapped me back up in a hug. "Have I told you I love you today?" She asked as I let out a chuckle.

"Right before I left but I could listen to it all day." I gave her a tight hug letting out a content sigh. "I love you Red."

"I love you too Jon." She said back as she gave me a kiss. I happily returned it as I heard a loud explosion coming from outside. We both let out a groan as I drew Umbra. "I hate being the Fist of Equestria..." I muttered walking towards the door.

"You got 10 minutes!" Red yelled as I sighed.

"Only need 10 seconds." I muttered as I ran out to take on whatever poor fool interrupted my night a smile on my face. I wouldn't trade anything for this.

Bonus 1: Meet The Parents

Salt, Anger, And Booze
Bonus 1: Meet The Parents

By: Major Frostwing

-1 Year After The Defeat of Terik-

"Jon. We got a problem." Red said as we sat at the kitchen table sipping at our coffee.

"What kind of Problem?" I asked as Red looked up from the letter she was reading.

"I just got a letter from my parents. They want to meet you." I nearly choked on my coffee as I quickly removed the cup from my lips.

"Red that is a very bad idea." I pointed out as she nodded. "Sweetie I barely can leave the house without having to deal with some crazy fuck trying to destroy the world. Plus I'm not good at dealing with parents I'm better at fighting than sitting calmly at a table sipping coffee and idle chit chat." I pointed out as she looked at me with a flat look.

"Jon this is what we do on a daily basis." Red said motioning to the cups of coffee in front of us and the papers spread around the table.

"I can do that with you because it actually puts me in a good mood. Anyone else and I get pissed off."

"Jon you need to meet my parents. We need their blessing." I rolled my eyes leaning back in my chair running my hand through my hair letting out a sigh.

"Fine we can go meet your parents... But I am not leaving home without my blades. I am not gonna be caught flat footed again." I said pointing an accusatory finger at her.

"I asked for you to leave them behind for one date and Ponyville had an Ursa attack... GET OVER IT!"

"NEVER!"

We both sat on the train heading for Manehatten. Both of my blades were sitting in storage in a large briefcase. Celestia noticed that I wanted to take the blades with me wherever I went so she decided to get me a briefcase that was large enough to hold both Umbra and Solaris. I loved the briefcase but it was rather bulky at times.

"Jon are you still awake?" Red asked me as I looked down at her with a smile.

"Yea guess I'm not too tired." I said as I turned my attention to the window seeing the city of Manehatten. "We will be departing soon." I said as I felt Red grip my hand a little more tightly.

"Are you nervous?" Red asked as I let out a chuckle.

"Not even a little." I said with a cocky grin but on the inside. "FUCK ME SIDEWAYS WITH A CACTUS I'M FREAKING THE FUCK OUT!" Glad no one can read my thoughts.

"We are arriving at Manehatten Station please mind the doors." A loud speaker spoke as both me and Red got to our feet.

"I'll carry the bags." I said stretching out my back and arms. "I could use the exercise." I said as Red wrapped her arms around my torso. She only did this when she was worried. I gave a light smile as I set my hand on her arms. "It will be ok Red I know what I am doing." She nodded into my back as she released me just as the doors slid open.

"This should be fun." I said to myself as I went to go grab our gear.

We stood before a large mansion near the center of the city. I let out a low whistle as I floated all of our bags behind me but kept my large case in my hand. "I didn't know your family was loaded." I pointed out as Red gave me a sheepish smile.

"You never asked." She said as I let out a small chuckle.

"It's cool I'm not marrying you for the money. I am marrying you because I love you." I gave her a small kiss on the cheek as she smiled. I adjusted the case in my hands as I knocked on the door. "Time to pray." I muttered to myself as the door was flung open and a white and dark red blur came out of the door tackling Red. I quickly moved my magic catching Red before she hit the ground.

"SIS!" I heard a young squeaky voice yell out as I saw a small little girl latched firmly onto Red.

"Heart Beat!?" Red yelled out as I moved my magic bringing Red back to her feet. "It's so good to see you." Red returned her little sister's hug as I just gave the two a smile.

"AHEM!" A loud voice was cleared behind me as I jumped slightly from the volume. I slowly turned my head to see a woman smaller than Red by at least half a head which made me have to actively look down at her. "I take it you are my Daughter's husband to be?" She said as I gave her a very weak smile.

I could see the glare she was sending my way. Every ounce of my body screamed at me to fight and attack but for some reason... This woman's anger seemed to match my own. She had platinum white hair along with a gentle pink fur her eyes on the other hand she dark grey eyes. I reached up and scratched the back of my head smiling nervously.

"Yea my name is Jon it is a pleasure to meet you Mrs.?" She held out her hand to me as I set down my case to see a knee coming on a collision course with my face. I flexed my magic seizing the woman bodily slamming her against the wall. I was looking at her with wide eyes at how I was caught off guard so easily. It made my blood boil.

"JON!" I jumped as I looked back at Red as she walked towards me. I grimaced as I saw the look she was giving me. "Release my mother."

I nodded my head as my magic cut out lowering her to the ground.

"Mom I sent you a letter to not do this." Red said pinching the bridge of her nose. "Be happy Jon was not expecting a fight."

"I like him." Red's mother said as she walked back over to me. "All your other boyfriends cried when I attacked them." She wrapped me up up in a hug before squeezing as hard as she could which let out a loud string of cracks from my spine.

"Jon this is my mother... Heart Stopper... She was a fighter back in her days..." Red said with a sigh.

"I can tell." I muttered as I flexed my arms breaking out of her hug. I reached down to lift my case when Heart Stopper picked it up first.

"Allow me." She said as I pointed at the case before flicking my fingers down which ripped the case out of her hand and dropped it to the ground with a solid thud.

"I think not... These are mine." I said picking up the case. "Only I can carry this." I magicked the rest of the bags into the air as I walked forward.

"Mother I warned you about starting something with Jon. Now he is wary about you and is most likely formulating some sort of plan to deal with you if he has to." Heart Stopper just let out a hearty laugh.

"This dinner wouldn't be fun if there wasn't at least a little violence." She said as she laughed once again following after me.

I sat at the table waiting for dinner with Red on my right and her little sister on my left. I looked around seeing Red's mother and her father... Her mother kept her eyes on me as I stared right back at her.

"Sweetie can you stop glaring at our guest?" Red's father a man by the name of Weak Pulse said as both me and Heart Stopper locked eyes on him. He quickly looked down at his stew idling stirring it with his spoon. We slowly locked eyes once again.

"Jon I know what you are thinking but you are not allowed to fight my mother." Red said as I continued to stare forward.

"She swung first... I'm just thinking how to repay that little kindness." I muttered as my eyes flickered with corruption.

"Jon." Red said warning me as Heart Stopper held her hands up in surrender.

"Come on Red if the boy wants to lose than he is welcome to." Heart Stopper said with a cocky grin. I cracked my own.

"I always wondered how you were able to put up with someone like me Red." I snapped my fingers as two clouds of dust surrounded Heart Beat's ears. "I can see now that your mother is quite the fucking bitch." I crossed my arms leaning back in my seat.

"You trying to start something?" Heart Stopper asked as I smiled widely.

"It already started." Heart Stopper got up from her seat knocking her chair over as I got up as well.

"YOU! ME! OUTSIDE! NOW!" She bellowed as I smiled even more widely.

"JON!" Red yelled as I froze.

"HEART!" Red's dad yelled as she froze.

"Sit down and eat." The both said calmly.

Both me and Heart Stopper clicked our tongues as we picked up our chairs sitting down. I snapped my fingers as the mist around Heart Beat's ears disappeared.

"We will finish this another time." I muttered out as Heart Breaker nodded to me.

Dinner had finished and we were all sitting in the living room drinking coffee and tea. It was silent but I was still wanting to fight.

That's when a loud explosion echoed through the city. All of us looked to the windows except me and Heart Breaker.

"I told you Red." I said as I got to my feet lifting up my case. "I'm gonna go deal with this little problem." I walked towards the door.

"You got 20 minutes Jon." Red said returning to her cup of coffee.

"Aren't you worry about your future husband?" Heart Breaker asked as she watched me.

"You can come watch Mrs. Breaker. I always fight harder with an audience." I said as I opened the door.

"I guess I can see what makes you so special to my little Red." She said as she got to her feet following me.

"Come back safe Jon." Red said with a sigh. "Scratch that. Come back with minimal injuries." I let out a hearty laugh as I opened the door walking out into the chaos that was Manehatten.

I only had to take two steps out of the house when I saw what was causing all of the trouble. I saw a large squadron of griffons dropping little bags on the streets below. "Hey Breaker. Where is a field that I can really cut loose?" I asked as I shifted my case so it was sitting on my back.

"You can take them to the outskirts but I have no idea how you are going to get their attention." I smiled as I rolled my wrist as my magic poured out of my hand.

"Direction and distance if you would kindly." I continued to roll my wrist as more magic poured out.

"South East about 23 miles." I tilted my head as a loud crack echoed out.

"A little farther and more targets than I would like but that makes it fun." I held up my hand as a dark purple mist covered the griffons as they disappeared in tiny flashes of purple. I nodded my head as I set my hand on Breaker's shoulder. "Let's go have some fun." I said as we both disappeared as well.

Both me and Breaker appeared before the confused Griffons. I let out a piercing whistle as they all looked to me and Breaker. "Hey boys mighty sorry about the sudden teleport but I need all of you to sit still right here while I get ready." I snapped my fingers as a large dome was erected around the area sealing us all inside.

"Who in Tartarus are you?" One of the griffons who I assumed was the leader yelled out as I flicked the clasp on my case opening it as two swords floated out of the case along with two holsters.

"I'm just a guy who happens to be visiting Manehatten to meet the parents. Problem is, is that you decided to attack today." I shook my head as my holsters floated over securing to myself. "Normally on any other day I would be annoyed but I was put into a bad mood so I'm gonna kill you all to make me feel better." I pointed out as I took hold of my swords.

"What can one man do against an army?" The leader asked as his men cheered.

I rolled my eyes as I raised my hand my magic moved forming my pistol. "Something like this." I squeezed the trigger as the gun let out a flash of dark purple and a loud bang. The spell bullet ripped right through the head of the leader. "Now let's have us some fun." I dismissed my gun as I ran my hand through my hair feeling it go whispy at my touch. Slowly my skin turned black as pitch and my eyes turned. I drew Umbra from it's holster running into the fight.

When I reached the first griffon all he could do was look up as Umbra revved up activating the moving teeth on the blade. I slammed the blade down on his head as blood and gore was thrown around the battle field. Most of the griffons backed away in horror as I quickly turned my blade onto a few more cutting them down with no hesitation.

One of the griffons got a hold of himself as he swung his blade at me. I let out a yell of rage as I slammed my blade into his stomach revving the blade once. I lifted him up as I continued to rev Umbra. "COME ON AND FIGHT ME!" I yelled as I threw the body into a group of griffons. More and more of the griffons began to come back to their senses only to lose them as anger consumed them. I smiled widely as the fight picked up in pace. Eleven down about a hundred left.

-5 minutes worth of needless bloodshed caused by a very angry man who only knows how to deal with his problems with a chainsaw on a stick...-

I stood in the center of the battlefield with a large smile on my face laughing happily. "Fuck yea that's the stuff." I said as I slid Umbra home. I turned back to see Heart Breaker looking at me with a scarred look on her face. "What?" I asked as I raised my eyebrow.

"What are you?" She asked as she took a step back.

"Oh shit I forgot to do something." I reached into my back pocket pulling out a wallet flipping it open to show her. A bright gold and sliver badge reflected the light of the sun as I tossed it to her. "I am simply the guy who keeps Equestria safe. That's my badge and I get to deal with every threat however I see fit." I said with a smile as I looked down at my outfit.

"What?" She asked baffled.

"Yea most people don't know how to deal with this little bombshell." I flexed my magic as the blood floated off of my body before splatting to the ground. "Anyway I got to send something real quick." I wrote up a letter sending it on it's way. "Now let's get back to your house while Celestia cleans up after my mess." I slid my hands behind my head as I began to gather my magic. My corruption slowly receded to nothing as my blades floated back over to my case being secured inside. I closed the case lifting it up setting my hand on Breaker's shoulder teleporting us back to her home.

"Jon can you guarantee my little Red's safety?" Breaker asked as I nodded my head.

"I would rather die than let her be hurt." I said as I lifted my shirt revealing the two twisted scars on my chest. "And I will do it more than once." I said as Breaker nodded to me.

"Then I have no trouble giving you our blessing. BUT!" She said as she got in my face. "If something so much as hurts my little girl I will break you. I will break you so much not even magic will fix you." I cracked her a smile.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." I said as I held out my hand to her. She went to grab it as I decked her across the face knocking her to the ground. "THAT'S FOR TRYING TO KNEE ME IN THE FACE MOTHER FUCKER!" I bellowed as Breaker got back to her feet.

"OUTSIDE!" She yelled as we both quickly ran outside.

I knew I heard Red Mutter something along the lines of. "Celestia smite me now."

Bonus 2: Hell Of A Party

Salt, Anger, And Booze
Bonus 2: Hell Of A Party

By: Major Frostwing

-6 Months After Meeting Red's Parents-

"Shining where is Jon?" Twilight asked as Shining was tapped the the back of the door to the throne room.

"I don't have a single clue I have been stuck here since last night..." Shining tilted his head thinking. "Not sure what happened the bachelor party was going great until Jon drank to much." Shining looked down at Twilight trying to remember the events from last night. "You mind taking the inhibitor off of my horn so I can get down?" Twilight seemed to break out of her own thoughts before she removed Shining from the door.

"I know that Jon took over the throne room and the ball room for this party but I need to know where everyone went." Shining nodded his head as he pointed straight up at the ceiling. Twilight looked up and jumped at what she saw. Everyone was being held to the ceiling by some sort of tape. They were all asleep or unconscious.

"HOW DID THEY GET UP THERE!?" Twilight asked as Shining shrugged.

"Spike might know." Shining said as Twilight heard a weak groan coming from behind the throne.

Twilight quickly ran to the back of the throne to see Spike taped to the back upside down still asleep. "Spike wake up!" Twilight said pulling the small drake off of the back of the throne.

Spike opened his eyes blinking a few times as he woke up. "Oh gods what happened last night?" Spike asked as Shining walked forward as Spike looked up at him before bursting out in laughter.

"What?" Shining asked confused.

"You might want to look in the mirror." Spike said as he continued to laugh.

Twilight pinched between his eyes before summoning a mirror for Shining to look at himself. There was a bunch of unkind drawings and words on his face and chest.

"Oh he is a dead man..." Shining said as Twilight slowly lowered all the people that were on the ceiling to the ground.

"Why would Jon do all this?" Twilight asked as Spike scratched the back of his head.

"I think it was something along the lines of Jon asking me if I wanted to see something funny from his world." Spike looked around at how trashed the throne room was. "Also how did we get to the Throne room? We were in the Ball Room first."

"We should go investigate the Ball Room now." Twilight said as the three of them quickly moved to the Ball Room. Fear and uncertainty in their hearts.

-Royal Ball Room-

Twilight opened the doors to the Ball Room to be met with... A relatively clean room. Not a soul was in the room. All the tables were in order and there wasn't a speck of dust in the room.

"Uh Twilight what is going on?" Shining asked as they walked into the room.

"I don't know?" Twilight said as they cautiously moved through the room. "I know the party was held in this room."

"Uh Twilight... Look up." Spike said as Shining and Twilight looked to him before looking up to only jump in shock.

"Oh friend Twilight. Good Day!" Princess Luna said with a smile and a nod. "And Captain Armor the party last night was wondrous. Jon has quite the sense of humor." Luna said as she squirmed in her bonds. "Please release me though I fear Jon has booby trapped and has prank everyone in the castle."

Twilight quickly released Luna and helped her to the ground. The second Luna was back on the ground there was a loud shrill scream coming from one of the towers. "THAT'S PRINCESS CELESTIA!" Twilight yelled as they all quickly ran to Celestia's personal quarters.

-Princess Celestia's Quarters-

Shining Armor kicked the doors to the Celestia's room open to see Here sitting in the center of the room a blanket covering her completely. "PRINCESS WHAT HAS HAPPENED!" Shining asked as Celestia covered herself more muttering to herself.

"This is not happening... This is not happening." Twilight stepped forward as she took hold of the blanket pulling it back to reveal that Celestia now sported a black and dark purple mane.

Luna let out a laugh as she pointed at her sister. "It looks as if Jon has dyed your mane dear sister."

"Princess Luna he got to you as well." Spike said as he picked up a mirror as well showing her that her own mane was bleached white with a pink stripes running through it. Luna took a deep breath before screaming as well.

Luna quickly took the blanket from Twilight covering herself and her sister in the blanket mimicking Celestia's muttering.

"This is not happening... This is not happening."

"Uh... I think we should continue to look for Jon." Shining said as they all slowly moved out of the room leaving the princesses to their insane ramblings.

"Jon has gone too far." Twilight muttered as she paused. "Wait do you think he got to the girls?" Twilight asked as they all looked to each other before running off to check on Twilight's friends.

-Elements of Harmony Personal Quarters.-

"Twilight I'm getting worried... Celestia should have raised the sun half an hour ago." Shining said as Twilight nodded.

"Shining go back to the Princesses and try to get them to come back to their senses." Shining nodded before running back. Twilight took a deep breath opening the door to see the other girls all gathered in her room all in different forms of shock.

Jon had gotten to them all... Fluttershy's hair was black which made her no longer have that calm serenity that she always seemed to hold. Not to mention the black mascara that surrounded her eyes and dark eye-shadow.

Rarity's hair was cut into a Mohawk that was died a neon pink and neon blue. She had a bunch of skull accessories adorning her. She was wrapping her arms around herself rocking back and forth.

Rainbow dash had a bunch of nasty words written across her face and her hair was pulled back into a tight bun that she was trying to undo. A bright pink dress was put on her as well.

Applejack was the most tame but in her eyes she was the worst in her opinion. Her hat was missing and her hair was dyed a bright red.

Pinkie... nothing seemed to be wrong with her but she seemed the most hurt.

"Girls what in Tartarus happened to all of you?" Twilight asked as They all looked to her.

"We have no idea we woke up like this." Rarity said as she pointed at her mane. "WHO WOULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS!?" She yelled in a frenzy.

"Jon..." Spike said calmly as they all looked to him before Twilight.

"He got Shining, Spike, The Princesses, and all of you. We still don't know where he is." Twilight said as they all began to fume.

"JON DID ALL OF THIS!?" Pinkie asked as she got in Twilight's face. "WHAT MONSTER REPLACES EVERY SWEET THING I OWN WITH SUGAR FREE TREATS!?" Pinkie began to shake Twilight violently.

"P-Pinki-ie St-oo-op Sha-k-k-ing m-e-ee" Twilight said as Pinkie stopped as Twilight tried to make the world stop spinning. "He is the only one not accounted for and we have no idea where he is." They all began to think.

"Did you look on the roofs?" Rainbow asked as Twilight thought about it.

"Girls let's go and look for him."

"He needs to pay." Rarity growled out as she moved to the door to hunt down the one known as Jon.

-Top of The Tower of Peace-

I awoke slowly with a horrible head ache echoing through my head. I went to move my arm up to block the rising sun but only felt my arm secured to my side. I looked down before letting out a sigh. "Not again..." I muttered as I flexed my arms tripping through my bonds. I looked at where I was before freaking out. I let out a yell of fear as I took hold of the flag pole holding onto it with a death grip.... I closed my eyes tight. "WHY THE FUCK AM I ON A ROOF!?" I yelled as I felt the pole shift. "... oh fuck..." The pole shifted again before snapping like a twig. "... double fuck..." I began to fall from the tower before flexing my magic only for nothing to happen.

"FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUCK!" I yelled as I fell towards the hard unforgiving ground. When I suddenly felt my entire being being yanked before colliding with a marble floor. "ow..." I wheezed out before getting to a sitting position.

I looked up to see Twilight and the other girls all with strange hair colors and many different things done with them. "The fuck happen to you guys?" I asked as I tilted my head.

"YOU DID THIS YOU-YOU BASTARD!" Rarity yelled as all the girls gasped at Rarity using a curse.

I only tilted my head before looking at Rainbow Dash. "I only hit Rainbow and that was the marker on her face... I didn't do anything else besides what I did at the party." I scratched my head to feel the hat on my head. I pulled it off looking at the old tattered Cowboy hat. "This is yours I presume." I held out the hat to her as she ripped out of my hand.

"I remember Tapping a few people to the ceilings and writing on a few people's faces. Nothing like this." I pointed at Rarity with a smile. "I don't have a death wish."

"But if you didn't do it then who did?" Pinkie asked as I tapped my fist into the center of my hand.

"Oh yea. Discord found me after I put everyone to sleep. We had a small chat." I pointed out with a shrug. "after the whole me trying to kill him we kind of just put everything aside. Our chat was a lot of fun though." I said as The all looked at me confused.

"What did you all talk about?" I thought back on my drunken escapades before nodding.

"Pranks from my world. Stuff you did to your buddies when they are drunk and pass out. Like shaving their heads taping them to doors or walls dying their hair you know small little pranks nothing to serious." I said with a shrug as Twilight whapped me on top of my head.

"What is wrong with you Jon?" Twilight asked as I held my head due to my throbbing headache.

"What the fuck Twilight?" I asked as I continued to hold my head.

"Jon you told the god of chaos how to prank people... YOU GAVE HIM IDEAS!" It dawned on me then that in all honesty... I fucked up big time.

"What else did you tell him?" Rainbow asked as I looked about the walls trying to pinpoint where we were.

"Girls I told him little prank traps and other little things that mean we have to keep moving. Paintball guns, glue and feathers, buckets full of dye and all kinds of other traps are probably planted around the palace..." I got to my feet looking around spotting a small trip wire. "It will most likely be worse around the guard barracks That where I would put a lot of traps... Did he get the princesses?" I asked a little scared because if they thought I did all this.

"JOOOOOOOOON!" A loud voice boomed as I looked behind me to see one pissed off Celestia running after me. My eyes dilated as I let out a panicked yell before running for my life. I hopped the trip line continuing on my way down the halls.

I tried to flex my magic only to feel nothing come forth before twin glints of dark purple flash on my hands. I looked down to see I was wearing gloves that were arching with energy from my magic being dissipated. Dammit Discord you did this on purpose. When I get my hands on your scrawny little neck I am gonna wring it like a dish towel. I continued to run hoping against hope that I could avoid Celestia enough to find Discord and force him to fix all of this.

MY WEDDING WAS IN A FUCKING WEEK GOD DAMMIT I DON'T NEED THIS SHIT!

-Royal Canterlot Gardens-

Discord sat on top of a small chair floating above the gardens watching the chaos erupt from under his perch. "Oh yes this is wonderful." Discord said as another explosion erupted from the rows and rows of hedges.

Discord raised a cup of tea to his lips smiling smugly to himself as he watched Jon dodge and weave Celestia's attacks.

"NOT THE FACE!" Jon yelled as Discord chuckled to himself. His mirth was interrupted by the sounds of wing beats he looked over to see Fluttershy flying to him. He let out a sigh knowing his fun was being cut short.

"Discord you have to stop this." Fluttershy said as she floated next to him. "Jon can't beat Celestia." Discord nodded his head sagely as a top hat and monocle appeared on his person.

"Indeed. I did place a heavy handicap on him after all. No magic and no weapons. I wonder what little scheme he will come up with." Discord said adjusting his monocle.

"But Discord you are the one who did most of the pranking you have to fix what you broke." Fluttershy scolded as Discord seemed to deflate at that little revelation.

"Oh alright Fluttershy I will fix this." Discord snapped his fingers as a wave of magic flowed out through the castle gardens and the castle itself. "Now let's see how Jon get's himself out of this."

I jumped over a hedge running for my life from Celestia who seemed to have only one thought on her mind. Kill me first and ask questions later. All because of her stupid mane being a different color. A wave of magic passed through me as The gloves along my hands faded away into confetti. "Back in business." I said as I dropped down into a slide dodging another bolt of magic before getting back to my feet.

Celestia charged up another bolt of magic as she threw it right at me. I focused as much magic into my hand as possible as my shadow jumped up solidifying around my hand and fore arm. I raised my hand sending a silent prayer to whoever was listening to let this work.

The bolt slammed into my hand as I slid back impacting a marble wall but I continued to hold onto the molten ball of magic. I looked up with a smile as Celestia froze. I wonder if there is anyway to make this spell any stronger or faster... Maybe a magical sling shot. I raised my left hand as a single ring of dark purple appeared. A seal appeared in the center of it as I stared at Celestia. I took a single step forward winding up for my throw. "AND THE PITCH!" I yelled as I threw the spell as hard as I could right through the ring. The spell took off like a rocket but I had missed the shot as it missed Celestia by a few inches but the spell did rocket off into the distance impacting a mountain in the far distance to only explode into a ball of white.

Celestia looked back at the destruction that was caused. The top of the mountain was gone just... gone. "Oh shit I didn't want to hit you with that... glad I missed." I said letting out a low whistle. Celestia looked back at me and I could tell even she was more pale than usual. "Look now that I have your attention." I said as I dismissed the circle as I stepped forward. "I did not dye your mane or fuck with anyone like that. The worst I would have done is probs strip you naked and tape you to a tree in the gardens with all kinds of nasty things written all over your body. I don't fuck with the hair because that shit takes to much money to do and to much to fix." I stopped before her letting out a sigh. "Plus I don't want to die before my wedding so kindly stop trying to kill the wrong guy."

I gave her a smile before pointing up. "Discord is up there. You can go fuck him up." I walked past Celestia with a smile on my face. "Have fun Tia." I said as I heard the tell tale signs of a take off.

"JON WHY!" I heard Discord yell as I smiled widely disappearing. I wasn't gonna get involved with that little spat I had better things to do. Not to mention the wedding still needed a few more little details finished. I should probably get on that.

Author's Note

I said soon and I meant it.

Bonus 3: Bells Ring

Salt, Anger, And Booze
Bonus 3: Bells Ring

By: Major Frostwing

Princess Celestia was walking down the gilded hallway of her castle a gentle smile on her face. She greeted all she passed with a subtle nod of her head. Today was the day before the wedding. She was a little on edge having been asked personally by Jon to marry him and Red Line but she would do so. He did practically beg her to marry them so the wedding could be perfect.

Jon didn't want his name announced to the papers. she did not know why but she had agreed. Oh well nothing could possibly ruin the wedding... Princess Celestia froze before shaking her head out. "This is Jon's Wedding everything will go wrong." Celestia let out a sigh before she continued down the hall. That was until an explosion reverberated through the halls. She let out a very unladylike like groan as she picked up her pace.

"It was only a matter of time."

I was sitting in my room hands clenched into fists as I looked at the destroyed window I had shot. I took a deep breath before letting it out shakily.

"Jon please tell me you did not just blow out a window." Shining said as I looked up at him.

"Sorry my nerves got to me." I said as I relaxed my fingers only for another bolt of magic to impact the wall. "...oops." Shining smacked his forehead with his palm as I closed my hands into fists. "Fucking hell."

"Jon we have told you before emotions effect magic in a negative way. In times of great stress your magic can go ballistic." Celestia told me as I took a deep breath letting it out slowly. "What has you so stressed out?"

"This is a wedding Celestia. My wedding. If everything isn't perfect I'm gonna be pissed" I clenched my hands letting them go a second after. "I need this day to be perfect." I got to my feet stretching out my back out slowly "I'm gonna do a quick patrol." I said getting to my feet seizing Umbra by it's hilt along with Solaris when a hand was set on my shoulder.

"Jon breathe if you stress yourself anymore your magic is going to go even more haywire." Celestia said as I cocked my head to the side.

"Celestia take your hand off of me..." I said as My shoulder tightened. "I don't know what I will do if you touch me again." I pulled my shoulder out of her grip as I continued out of the room. I needed something to do anything to calm my nerves.

I walked down the hallway dragging Umbra behind me as my mind ran faster than necessary. I took a deep breath letting it out slowly. I was angry I don't know why but normally I have a reason something is making my blood boil over. I flicked my eyes over the halls only for something to catch my attention. I saw a servant drop their tray of tea collapsing to their knees gagging and looking as sick as possible.

I looked over at Solaris to see it pulsing gently. I looked back over at the servant as they lost their battle and finally threw up. I rolled my left shoulder as I began to stalk forward creating a loud screeching sound as Umbra dragged through the marble at my feet.

The servant looked up before his face went pale. He quickly got to his feet scrambling to get away when I moved my magic wrapping around his legs locking him into place. "Look at what the spider caught. A little bug... Let's have a chat you and me." I walked around the servant raising Solaris to my shoulder.

"I-I have no idea what you are talking about s-sir." I rolled my eyes as I shoved Solaris through his chest dissolving his disguise instantly.

"Don't lie to me bug." I said as I ripped Solaris out of his chest sheathing it. "Now. Where is your bitch of a queen?" I asked wrapping my hand around his horn. "And this time don't lie to me." I raised Umbra setting it against his shoulder.

"I won't talk you don't scare me." The changeling said as I gave him a small smile. "My queen promised me a great reward if I could locate you." I tilted my head to the side.

"Is the reward a new arm?" I asked.

"A new wha-" Umbra's teeth revved up as it sawed right through his shoulder amputating the arm from his torso. The changeling was about to scream out in pain when I cover his mouth in magic.

"I guess not." I said as I moved Umbra to his left leg. "Now let's try this again. Where is that bitch?" I asked as I removed my magic.

"S-sh-she is here... i-i-i-in th-the ca-castle." The changeling barely choked out as I nodded my head smiling as I moved Umbra away.

I saw the relief flood his face as I moved Umbra away before carving through his forearm. Once more I silenced him as he screamed in pain. "Where in the castle?" I asked moving Umbra back to his leg. I saw his head start to droop a bit. I shook my head as I sent a small current through his horn waking him up. "I didn't say you could sleep." I said coldly as I smacked his cheek a few times. "Now answer the question."

"I do-don't know." He said as I rolled my eyes. "Please I answered your questions... don't kill me." I thought about it for a second as I released him sheathing Umbra. "Th-thank you..." I nodded once before flexing my magic forming my pistol.

"I didn't say I wouldn't." I said as I pulled the trigger splattering the wall with a new coat of green. I dismissed my gun continuing on my way. I had a hunt that should have finished years ago. No wonder I was so pissed off. I set my hand over the scar on my chest gripping it tightly.

I walked through more and more of the castle. I found more and more changelings that were posing as visitors, guards, Nobles, and servants. I killed each on in secluded locations and extracted as much information as I possibly could before disposing of them. Now I knew exactly where this queen was and I was going to finish my hunt.

I moved towards the one room in the entire castle I hated the most. The Dungeons. I stopped before the doors seeing the two guards looking at me wearily. I rolled my shoulders before opening the doors. One of them reached towards me only to freeze as he stared down the barrel of my gun. "Don't mind me gentlemen. Just making sure the wedding goes perfectly." I said as he nodded his head. I flicked my wrist as the gun disappeared. The doors opened as I began my descent.

I used my magic to light the way down. I shivered with anticipation at finally getting the one who got away. I felt the corruption flow through me as the corruption finished it's purpose I opened my eyes to see the hallway was perfectly lit up. "Perfect..." I purred as I drew Umbra dragging the blade along the wall. "I'm coming to get you and this time..." I heard the scrambling of people bellow me. "I will kill you."

I saw a large wall of glowing green light at the bottom of the stairs as I flicked my left wrist summoning my shield I set the large shield in front of me as I began to advance down being pelted by green fire.

"My queen he is not stopping!" I heard one of them yell out as I slid Umbra home conjuring my pistol.

"Keep firing." I heard a familiar voice say as I smiled. A quick soundproofing spell should make this all worth it. The walls began to coat themselves with a dark purple mist before sinking into the stone.

I peeked over my shield taking aim. I fired twice nailing the head of the firing formation. The rounds hit him in the chest blasting right through him before taking aim at the others. I clicked a small switch on the side of my construct. Strictly for show. I pulled the trigger and held it as hundreds of rounds poured out of the barrel The formation fell quickly under the torrent of magic rounds ripping through them.

I let out a small laugh as I continued walking down. I flexed my magic as my armor surrounded me. I wanted to reveal myself at the correct time.

I finished walking down the remaining steps dismissing my shield and gun.

"So you are the one who has decided to ruin my plans." Chrystalis said as she sat on a dark green throne. I only gave her a small shrug before drawing Umbra. "So you wish to fight me?" Chrystalis asked as she got up from her throne. I shrugged once again as I saw her hand glow green. "ANSWER ME YOU WORM!" Chrystalis launched a torrent of fire right at me. I raised my hand as a concave shield appeared capturing the fire before closing around it. The fire quickly disappeared. Chrystalis glared at me as I dismissed the shield.

"Who are you?" Chrystalis asked as her twisted sword appeared in her hand.

"Have you forgotten so soon?" I asked as she looked at me with wide eyes. "I gave you that mark after all." I took hold of my helmet removing it before dropping it to the ground.

"So the rumors were true..." Chrystalis said as I nodded. "But I also heard that your power is slowly killing you. You are of no threat to me or my plans. I will attack while everyone is distracted with the wedding and Canterlot will finally be mine." I cocked an eyebrow at her with a smug smile.

"The wedding won't happen without the groom being there."

"What do you mean?" Chrystalis asked as I looked down at my hand rolling it a few times. "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!"

"Two things bitch. One this little wedding. It's my wedding." I raised Umbra setting it on my shoulder raising my left hand conjuring my pistol. "The second thing is even more simple. Your info is out dated." I pulled the trigger twice putting a round in each of her shoulders. "I have full control over this power and now I'm going to finish what I started all those years ago." I dismissed my pistol charging forward swinging Umbra down on her only to lock blades with her.

"I see..." Chrystalis grunted out in pain. "I just have to kill you and finally be rid of you." She tried to push my blade away only to get a foot to the front of her knee which shattered under the force put on it.

"Don't steal my lines." I said calmly rearing back my left fist slamming it into her face. Her head rocketed back as I brought up Umbra swinging in a wide sweep taking off her legs. Chrystalis screamed out in pain as she crumpled to the ground. I brought up Umbra slamming it down through her chest cavity pinning her to the ground. She coughed up blood which speckled on my face.

"H-How... How have you gotten so strong?" I knelt down to her smiling.

"It's because I'm not taking my time with you little bug." Umbra revved up throwing blood, bone, and gore all about the room as her eyes went wide from the pain. "I have killed things more dangerous than you little bug but you were the first to get away. I had to remove that little mark you left on my record. And I know how to do just that." I conjured my pistol taking aim at her forehead. "Tell Terik and Sombra I said "Fuck off." when you see them." I pulled the trigger as Chrystalis' head exploded from the round. I let out a sigh stretching out my shoulders.

"Now I feel better." I said as I moved my magic around my body removing the blood that stained my armor. I pulled Umbra out of the corpse giving it a quick clean as well. I needed something to eat... Maybe some stew will fill my hunger.

I stood at the alter waiting for Red to walk down the aisle when Celestia leaned over whispering to me. "We found a squad of dead Changelings along with Chrystalis in the dungeons."

"Interesting..." I cooed with a small smile.

"Anything you want to tell me?" Celestia asked as I continued to smile.

"Not a fucking thing you don't already know." I said as Celestia let out a sigh.

"You make my life very very difficult Jon." Celestia said as I only smiled harder.

"I tend to do that." I said as The music kicked on as Red began walking towards the alter.

Bonus 4: 300 Years

Salt, Anger, And Booze
Bonus 4: 300 Years

By: Major Frostwing

Celestia sat on a bench in her garden looking up at the statue of a single man. He had two large swords on his back. He was standing with his arms crossed looking down with a smug smile on his face. Celestia had this statue commissioned after the war with the griffons. The man that the statue was based after was quite the thorn in everyone's side but an invaluable friend and comrade.

This man was Jon. A man from a different world. Cursed with the Eternal Nightmare but made it submit to him. Jon constantly fought and killed for Equestria though at times Celestia couldn't tell if he did it to keep the kingdom safe or just to fill the void inside him.

Celestia took a deep breath looking up at the statue. "Jon. Do you remember the battle of Griffonstone?" Celestia asked as she gave a short laugh. "You heard that your wife was giving birth... You went straight to the King and demanded a cease-fire." Celestia gave another bitter laugh. "The King's general tried to kill you for insolence. His death still sends shivers down my spine." Celestia rubbed her hands together thinking back on that day.

I kicked the doors to the King's throne room open Celestia right on my heels. Many of the guards tried to get in my way I raised my hands flicking them up and then out. My magic seized the griffons trowing them into the ceiling before they were crushed against the walls. "King Silverwing." I said as I dropped my hands as the bodies fell to the ground. "I have a demand." I stated as the King stared down at me with his cold black eyes.

"We will not surrender. I made that perfectly clear." King Silverwing said slamming his fist onto the armrest of his throne. "If that is all leave my Throne room."

"I don't want your surrender I want a momentary cease-fire." I said crossing my arms. "I got some more important business at home and I want to take my time storming your throne room to kill you. So I demand a cease-fire for one week." I said raising a finger. "If you give into my demands I will not completely decimate your army the day I get back." I said with a smug smile.

"YOU INSIGNIFICANT WORM!" I heard someone yell out as I raised my hand up. I took a single step to my left as a blade whistled past my ear. My magic wrapped around the attacker as I lifted him out of range.

"Let me make this perfectly clear King." I said as I began to tighten my hand not once taking my eyes off of the king. "Either you give into my demand or I will burn Griffonstone down around you. I am already here after all." I said as the attacker began screaming in pain as I continued to squeeze him with my magic. I could hear his brittle bones break from the force. "Your answer?" I asked as the king flicked his eyes up to the man in my grip that's what I was waiting for.

I smiled fully as I crushed my hand into a fist. The man's body completely collapsed on it's self leaving a ball of gore floating in the air pouring all of it's blood onto the grey stone under it. I saw the color drain from the King's face as I released my magic. The king slowly looked down at me as I began rolling my wrist. "Don't make me ask twice." I said as Purple lightning arced around my hand.

"I-I agree to your demand. We will not attack Equestrian forces for one week." The king said as I clasped my hands together smiling.

"Excellent. I will return to the front lines in a week and be back here 3 days after." I stretched my arms out turning around. "See ya later King." I said giving him a two finger salute. I disappeared in a flash of dark purple.

"And just like you promised the war was over 3 days after the cease-fire." Celestia said with a small smile. "It's a shame that Red Line is gone. She was the best thing to ever happen to you. Wasn't she?" Celestia asked looking back up at the statue.

"Yea she was." A voice said behind her. Celestia jumped as she quickly turned around to see the same man from the statue not looking a day older than the statue of him. "Reminiscing Princess?" He asked as he sat down next to her pulling out a cigarette lighting it with his magic.

"Just remembering when you were more of a loose canon." Celestia said as Jon let out a small laugh.

"There were a lot more things trying to kill us back then... I guess I lost my edge after so long." Jon said as he stretched out. "Nothing really challenges me now so I am happy living my life in some semblance of peace." Jon took a long drag on his cigarette blowing out the smoke from his nose.

"So how is the orphanage?" Celestia asked as Jon cracked a smile.

"Very well all the kids are happy to be on a field trip here." Jon said as he looked up at the statue rolling his eyes at it. "I look like such a prick in this statue." He said with a sigh.

"You were a prick back then." Celestia said as Jon let out a short laugh. "I'm happy you are using your life to do some good."

"Celestia you know that if I didn't do something with my immortality I would have offed myself when Red passed..." Celestia set her hand on Jon's shoulder as he ran a hand through his hair.

"I know Jon... I know." Celestia said as Jon looked at her out of the corner of his eye.

"Well it's good to see you again. Call me if anything shows up. It has been a while since I dealt with something." Jon got to his feet dropping his cigarette from his hand into the grass. "Tell Twilight and Luna I said next time." Jon Gave Celestia a two finger salute as he walked away from the old statue.

I walked through the gardens coming up to the one person I was looking for. "Hey Night. Were the kids being good?" I asked as Night looked over at me.

Night as I call her now was Nightmare Moon. She has become my assistant ever since I learned I could solidly project her to others she has remained outside of my head and helped me around the orphanage. She was still dark as ever but she always wore a disguise around the children.

"Sparks was throwing a little fit after you left but I was able to calm him down." Night said as I looked down at him with a smile.

"Did you miss me Sparks?" I asked as I knelt down to him. He said nothing as he hugged me tightly. "It's ok Sparks I'm right here." I said as I picked him up. "Alright kids let's go back home and I will cook you all up some stew." All of the kids let out a cheer as me and Night began leading them back towards the orphanage.

I had a long time ago placed tracking spells on the kids so I could always know where they were. We had an incident 100 years ago with one of the kids disappearing and it nearly killed me losing one of my kids. We found her in the attic she accidentally locked herself up there and couldn't get out.

"Dad?" Said a small girl's voice as I looked down. This little gem was named Shine Star. She was a sweet Filly who had a love of the night sky. She was a navy blue with bright white hair. She was one of the few children that called me Dad.

"Yes Shine?" I asked smiling to her.

"Who did you have to go talk to?" She asked as the other kids looked back at me a little curious as well.

"Just a very old friend... She was the one to help set up this field trip." I said with a small smile. "I'll introduce you all to her one day." I said patting Shine lightly on the head.

"Is she pretty?" One of the kids asked and I let out a chuckle.

"She is very pretty but not my type. She is even stronger than me." I said as all the kids let out little wows.

"She is stronger than you Dad?" Another kid asked as I nodded my head smiling.

"She got me good one or two times but that was because I was being a brat." I said as I saw a few kinds looking at each other. "Which means when I introduce you all to her be on your best behavior."

"Yes sir." I heard a few of them say as I let out a small chuckle.

The walk back to the orphanage was slow but none of the kids complained but I saw them in the distance. A very shady group of people. "Hey night take the kids inside while I deal with these gentlemen." I said as Night nodded to me ushering the kids inside.

"Jack such a pleasure to see you once again." A tall Unicorn stallion said as he stepped forward wearing a black over coat He was black furred with a dark yellow mane. His eyes were a piercing purple.

I had changed my name to Jack to throw off the fact that I was Jon The Fist of Equestria.

"Have you thought about our proposal?" I tapped my chin with a finger before sighing.

"Yea I looked over and thought about it." I said as I snapped my fingers putting a shield over the orphanage. "I'm not selling the orphanage nor will I let you try and strong arm me into giving it up. You would have better luck killing me than taking it from me."

"I was hoping to not have to do this but you have left me no choice." The man raised his hand flicking it at me. His two bodyguards pulled out spell guns taking aim at me. "Kill him." The man said as they opened fire. Two rounds flew at me only to freeze in mid air.

"Nice spell guns. I would have to say they are the new models or some black market versions." I said as I rolled my wrist looking down at it. "I suggest leaving before I lose my manners. I will only leave that deal on the table for ten seconds." I said as I saw them shoot at me again which I caught them in my magic once again.

"Jack I am a business man and this is just business. If you won't sell to us or die then I will just have to burn down your precious little orphanage." I took a deep breath snapping my fingers bringing up a piece of paper and a pen writing down some words before sending it on it's way.

"Short change was it?" I asked as I raised my hand aiming right at him. "This orphanage was named after someone very important to me I will give you one last chance. Leave now and I won't have to stain my steps." Short let out a laugh as he pulled out his own spell gun. He took aim shooting at me only for me to move my hand to intercept the round catching it and holding it calmly. "I'm glad I sent that letter." The magical bullet in my hand disappeared as it was crushed in my magic.

I flicked my wrist as all three of the men disappeared in a flash of purple. "They'll find you at the bottom of the mountain and you will all be arrested there." I said as I snapped my fingers removing the shield around the orphanage. "So much work to be done. I still have to make dinner for the kids." I smiled as I opened the door and closed it looking at the name plaque next to the door.

"Red Line Memorial Orphanage."

I smiled as I set my hand against the plaque. "Honey. I'm home." I said calmly walking towards the kitchen to begin dinner.

Chapter 1: Salt Meets Equestria

Salt, Anger, And Booze.
Part 1: Salt Meets Equestria

By: Major Frostwing

My name is Jon. I am a foul mouthed, angry, salty mother fucker. Sitting pretty at 6' 2" at a decent 195 lbs. Some would think twice about starting shit with me. But not the snaggle toothed fuck stick. I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's talk about how I arrived at the most brightly colored annoyance of a place known as Equestria. ROLL THE FUCKING INTRO!

It was a standard day for me. Sit in front of my computer surf YouTube and chat with my buddies on Skype. I was in a relatively good mood that day.

"DON'T FUCKING ARGUE WITH ME WILL, YOU PIECE OF TRASH! I WILL SKULL FUCK YOUR CORPSE!"

... This is me in a good mood...

"Jesus Salt calm down all I am saying is that you can't keep grenade diving every single thing we come across in game." Will said as I let out an annoyed huff.

My nickname with this group is Salt. Mostly because of my anger.

"Listen Will I don't fucking care as long as you keep healing me I can do whatever I want." I said taking a hit off of my cigarette.

"Salt we all get it. You barely take any damage from the grenade but it's a one way ticket to killing your character." My buddy Tromb said with an eye roll.

"It is a legitimate tactic. Plus None of us were putting a dent in that fucking Brotherhood of Steel Knight. I killed him with two grenade dives." I argued with anger creeping into my voice.

The game we are talking about is our Fallout Tabletop game. We play on Sundays.

"Fine whatever Salt do whatever you want just don't expect me to heal you." Will said before hoping off the call.

"Whatever Will fuck you." I muttered as I hung up the call leaning back in my chair looking at my ceiling. I was about to throw my headphones off of my head when I got a skype call. I groaned before answering the call. "Who the fuck is this?" I asked with annoyance laced all through my question.

"Are you the one known as Salt?" I cocked at an eyebrow at the question.

"Fuck you who is this anyway?" I demanded.

"Oh no one important just someone who wants to see what that anger does to a peaceful little kingdom."

"Oh I don't know. It probably comes and kicks your dick in with the force of a thousand imploding suns." I said with a cocky grin taking a hit off of my cigarette.

"Now now keep that anger for later for now. Let's see how you handle this little situation." My screen flashed a bright white as I felt myself being pulled out of my seat I tried to grab something to stop myself but I couldn't grab anything worth noting...

Fucking bullshit if you ask me but fuck that.

I landed with a solid thud on my back knocking all of the air out of my lungs in the process. I took a breath coughing as I rolled onto my side. I looked up to see 7 pairs of eyes locked onto me but their forms are what caught my attention. They were like people clothed and everything but they had fur covering their bodies. They looked like horse humans or something like that. I got to my feet letting out a few coughs as I rolled my shoulders.

"That is not the giant burning behemoth I meant to summon... Oh well it will have to do for now. CREATURE I COMMAND YOU TO DESTROY THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY!" I looked over at the one that was yelling at me with a cocked eyebrow before a sparking caught my eye. I looked over my shoulder to see what remained of my desk and worst of all my computer. I slowly turned walking over to it eyes wide in disbelief.

"No..." I whispered as I dropped down looking at the damage to my computer. "No no no no no... of fuck..." I picked up my tower seeing it was damaged beyond all repair. "MY RESEARCH! MY WORK! IT'S ALL GONE!" I yelled to the heavens as I slammed my fists on the cold stone floor. "DAMN YOU GOD! DAMN YOU TO HELL!" I yelled as I looked over and saw a liquid pouring out from under my desk I slowly lifted my desk revealing many broke bottle of alcohol. "FUCK NOT MY ALCOHOL TOO! DAMN YOU AGAIN GOD YOU FUCK SHITTING BITCH FU-"

"CREATURE I GAVE YOU A COMMAND! I SUMMONED YOU SO OBEY ME!" I lowered my fists grabbing hold of my tower setting it up straight before standing up.

"You were the one who brought me here?" I asked as I kept my back to her. "Then I need to kill you." I said as I fully turned around my eye burned with hatred. "YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!" I roared picking up my desk with one hand throwing it right at her. The woman didn't have time to even register the thrown desk as it hit her in the chest breaking on impact. I took off in a sprint seizing her by the throat as I lifted her up into the air. "YEARS! IT TOOK ME YEARS TO COMPILE ALL OF THAT RESEARCH!" I used all of my strength to slam her into the ground. I felt the stone under my feet shake from the force. "I LOST EVERYTHING! YOU TOOK ALL OF IT AWAY!" I used both of my hands to lift her up before slamming her back down on the ground.

"YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO OBEY ME!" The horse woman said as I lifted her once again.

"FUCKING DIE!" I bellowed into her face as I pulled my fist back blasting her in the face before lashing out on her with a straight kick. She stumbled back falling to the ground holding a hand over her stomach. I tightened my fists when I felt a burning sensation in my right hand. I looked down to see a black liquid being absorbed into my skin. I shook my fist out ignoring it. I glanced up to see a bolt of energy flying at me.

I raised my arms crossing them over my face as I felt the impact. I lowered my arms to only feel a light sting in them. "WHY DO YOU NOT OBEY!?" The horse woman asked as I cocked a smile.

"You don't own me ya fucking whore. Now let's pull out all the stops and drop into high gear." I said as my smile became wild and crazed. I raised my fists jumping forward feeling a weird surge of power in my right arm. I blasted the horse woman in the face to a small shock-wave and satisfying crack. She rocked back from the blow slamming into a large stone throne on the other side of the room. "COME ON BITCH I'M NOT EVEN PISSED OFF YET!" I yelled with a laugh. only to see a blast of energy hit me in the chest throwing me backwards. I slid to a stop under the other six horse women in the room.

"FINE I WILL DESTROY THE ELEMENTS MYSELF AND THEN DEAL WITH YOU!" She moved her arm to aim at the other six when a large beam of rainbow slammed into her engulfing her completely. "THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" She bellowed as she let out a scream before falling to the ground looking completely different. I laughed up until I felt a boot land on my face.

"We did it girls!" One of them cheered as she jumped on my chest.

"I knew we could take her." Another one said stepping onto me.

"Good job girls I couldn't have done it without you all. I felt another foot connect with my body. I had enough I am not a carpet.

"GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES!" I yelled as I pushed them off of me before kicking myself up to my feet. "AND FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THE SALT IN THE WORLD WHO THE FUCK ARE ALL OF YOU!? WHERE THE FUCK AM I AND JESUS FUCK TITTIES WHAT IS GOING ON!?" I asked as they all looked at me with looks of fear, repulsion, and curiosity.

"Um Twilight what is that thing?" A rainbow haired girl asked the purple one.

"It is a brute whatever it is." A purple haired white skinned horse woman said with a hmph.

"I think he looks cool." A pink one said as she got in my face. My eye twitched as I seized her by the face shoving her backwards knocking her over.

"Fucking back off ya bitch boundaries are a damn thing." I said feeling my salt levels rise.

"HEY! You can't just shove my friends however you like!" The rainbow haired one yelled getting in my face. I scowled as I leaned my head back.

"SHUT UP!" I yelled head butting her as hard as I could knocking her to the ground. "I can do whatever the fuck I want." I put my hands in my pockets before walking over to my computer kneeling down to it. "Now where was I before I was interrupted... oh yes now I remember." I dropped to my knees raising my fists into the air. "-YOU BITCH FUCKING ASS MUNCH BASTARD OF THE UNIVERSE I HOPE YOU ARE CURSED WITH DEATH AND TORTURE FOR THE PAIN YOU HAVE MADE ME ENDURE!" I bellowed as I let out a ragged sigh. "Alright now I am good." I said as I kicked over my computer tower. "Guess I'll have to start over from scratch... fucking joy." I muttered as I walked back to the girls. I saw them get ready for a fight.

"Stop or we will fight you." The purple one said as I stopped right in front of her towering over her as I glared down at her.

"Be still My little ponies. I'm sure we can rectify this situation without any need for violence." I removed my glare from the Purple one looking in the corner of my eye to see A white one walking forward she was about as tall as me. With a pair of white wings on her back and a stupid looking horn on her forehead. "What can we do to aid you creature?" It asked as I rolled my eyes at her.

"Listen ya twat unless you can repair years worth of research and get me a pack of smokes I suggest fucking off." I said locking eyes with her.

"Normally people who talk like that to royalty have their tongues cut from their head." She said as she fixed me with a glare. "But I am trying to be civil so I suggest you do the same."

"I don't think you can order me around. The last one that did I beat the fuck out of. So you are welcome to try and fuck with me." I tightened my fist only to feel pain arc up my arm making me wince I looked down at my right arm to see dark purple lightning arc around my arm. "What the fuck is this? THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO ME!?" I demanded taking hold of the white horse woman lifting her up by her clothes.

"I did no such thing creature this is all because you fought Nightmare Moon. Your anger gave the parasite a catalyst to latch onto. It will feed off of that rage and will corrupt you." The white horse woman said taking hold of both of my arms pulling them off of her as she landed on the ground without any trouble. "That rage will consume you." She said calmly adjusting her clothes.

"Like I fucking care. As long as I get to beat face then I don't care. Not like any of you little shits could tame my anger anyway." I said pulling my fist back only to be straight kicked in the chest by the white horse woman.

"My name is Princess Celestia Ruler of Equestria raiser of the SUN! If you think you could even harm me then you underestimate me." I let out a growl as I got to my feet holding my chest feeling only a dull throb echo in my chest. "Now if you are done Let us talk civilly so I can figure out if we can send you back you vile creature." Celestia said as I let out another growl glaring at her with a scowl.

"Fine you fucking bitch. Let's have a nice long chat about how you are going to unfuck all of this." I said my glare never leaving her.

Chapter 16: I'm Here To Kick Ass

Salt, Anger, And Booze
Part 16: I'm Here To Kick Ass

By: Major Frostwing

The flight up to the Crystal Empire was a long painful journey. It was just so boring and after that first guard spoke to me none of them are talking. Upside I got to think of all the ways I could kill Sombra. Downside I started cackling like a fucking psychopath 20 minutes in... Hindsight is 20/20.

When we had finally landed I got to see the impressive Crystal Empire in all it's glory. Magical dome and all... Fucking hate magic like this. Since I am so heavily corrupted all the shield does is burn me or launch me backwards. "Go tell Princess Cadence I am standing by the south side..." I ordered one of the guards as they all ran into the city to avoid the harsh blizzard that seemed to be raging outside the dome.

I waited staring out into the blizzard with my arms crossed. I'm glad I had Celestia etch climate control runes into my armor. Keeps me warm when it is cold and cool when it is hot. Very very handy.

I heard the shield shift behind me as I backed up into the safety of the dome as it closed up before me. I continued to stare out into the blizzard before turning on my heel walking towards the castle. Cadence will have the information I would need to find Sombra and get back the others. I just hope I am not too late.

I made it to the castle walking up the steps only to be stopped by two guards who crossed their spears before me. "Halt!" One of them yelled as I looked at him.

"No entry into the castle!" The other one barked as I took hold of their spears breaking them so they no longer blocked my path. The two guards looked down at their weapons before looking at me as I continued on my path.

"I SAID HALT!" The first guard yelled as he set his hand on my shoulder. I turned around seizing him by the throat lifting him into the air.

"I don't have time for you..." I muttered tossing him into his comrade before continuing towards the throne room. I had a job to do and these pests were testing my patience.

I made it to the throne room only to see a large squad of guards standing at the ready. I rolled my eyes under my helmet at how ridiculous this all was. "HEY! CADANCE!" I yelled out as the guards all looked at each other confused. "GET YOUR PINK ASS OUT HERE BEFORE I START BREAKING YOUR GUARDS!" The guards started advancing on me as I smiled under my helmet.

Just as the first one reached me I saw Cadance walk out of the throne room clapping her hands together once catching everyone's attention. "Jon... Crude as ever." Cadance said with a giggle. "Come inside I will brief you on your mission." I raised my hands as two walls of dark purple appeared between the guards.

"Let me just make a path real quick." I said flicking my hands to the side. The walls bodily moved the guards out of my way as I walked up to Cadance. "So how was the Honeymoon?" I asked as Cadance giggled once again closing the doors behind us.

"I shouldn't be laughing at a time like this but your brash nature and lightheartedness is better than the depressing air that is surrounding the Empire." Cadance said as she looked at my helmet. "How far has it progressed?" She asked as I lifted the visor revealing my eyes to her.

"Faster than expected but still within the time frame. Now tell me about this Tyrant so I may introduce him to the reaper of souls." I smiled as I flicked the visor down over my face.

"Shining and the others were captured by Sombra before they could make it to the safety of the shield." Cadance explained to me as I followed her. "We sent out scouting parties every direction we could. All of them made it back without incident except one. That squad was heading North North-West... They have been missing for 26 hours now."

I nodded my head setting my hand against my chin. "I will localize my search to the West then." I said calmly. "Did you prepare what I asked for?" I asked her as she nodded confused.

"I still don't understand why you wanted a boom box but I had one prepared just like you asked." Cadance walked into a war room which had the boom box sitting on the table along with a large assortment of weapons. "I also prepared the list of weaponry you asked for."

I walked up to the weapons looking them over calmly. I lifted up each one looking them over with a critical eye before all the weapons vanished from the table. "Now that I have what I need... Time to go behead a king." I picked up the boombox in my magic floating it behind me.

"So what is the point of the boom box exactly?" Cadance asked as I shrugged

"I just want to play some music to the fight." I said bluntly shrugging my shoulders.

I turned on my heel as the boom box followed behind. People moved out of my way as I advanced towards the west side of the city.

I exited the city without to much incident. People collapsing or running away from me in fear was not planned but not unexpected. I walked right through the shield protecting the kingdom without incident. It was meant to keep corruption out not in.

I walked through the frozen wasteland with only the boom box to keep me company for a long time until I saw it. A giant spire of crystals jutting out of the snow. Tacky as fuck and diffidently something a villain would think was cool. I rolled my shoulders walking forward not even bothering to draw my blade yet. We would have a chat first then we will fight. As per the code of villains.

"Interesting." I heard a voice echo around me as I only kept walking forward. "Another being of corruption and evil... But I can sense that light in your soul. What are you creature?" The voice continued to ask as I walked through a dome of dark magic. "Are you deaf creature a king has asked you a question."

"I am not deaf. I would just rather speak in person." I said walking up to the front door.

"Then by all means come into my temporary castle so we may discuss why you are here." The doors to the castle slowly began to open as I rolled my eyes at how slow they were. I raised my foot kicking the doors open with a loud bang.

"Strike one." I said to myself as I walked into the castle feeling the corruption pouring off of the walls. It was intoxicating but I was to focused on my goal... I wanted blood and I would fucking get it.

I continued my walked through the empty castle seeing many images of this King Sombra. I was not impressed. "Strike Two..." I said to myself as I found the large ornate doors to the throne room. I rolled my eyes letting out a sigh. pushing the doors open with a hard shove. "HONEY I'M HOME!" I yelled as I gripped the doors slamming them behind me. I saw this Sombra for the first time which gave me pause he looked bored at me.

"So you are the creature I saw out in the wastes. I am King Sombra. Normally it is customary to bow before a king when meeting them."

"I bow before no king. I am here for a few things you seemed to have taken from me. Six women, one prince, and an entire scouting party. I would like them back." I said holding my hand out to him. "Hand them over and I won't have to kill you in your own castle." I said smiling under my helmet.

"As if you could kill me. You are but one man against a king. I know black magic that would corrupt even you." Sombra stood from his throne walking down the steps towards me. "What can you hope to even do against a King who is known for his rage and merciless tactics?" I flexed my right arm as my gauntlet retracted revealing my dark purple bracer. I flicked a clasp as it fell off of my arm another flick of my wrist closed up my armor.

"You are a king known for his rage? I am a mortal man known for his hatred, his brutality, and his unending thirst for blood. You fought the princesses before and lost to 6 little gems. I have defeated Nightmare Moon, Discord, and Chrystalis. I am not afraid to add another name to that list." I raised my hand bringing my boom box forward as my phone levitated out of my armor connecting to it.

"What can you do without the elements? I have already captured them all that's left it to expand my reach to the rest of Equestria and then the world. I will start with you." Sombra snapped his fingers as 12 crystals rose out of the floor. I looked at them seeing all of them contained a person. I saw the girls in their own individual crystal with looks of horror on their faces.

"And that makes three..." I said letting out a sigh. I tapped a few buttons on my phone before floating the stereo over to a far wall. I drew my sword as it reved up like a chainsaw. Sombra drew his own sword. When the music kicked on I charged him and him at me weapons at the ready.

Blades clashed as our fight began.

Author's Note

For those of you who wanted to know what music Jon turned on for this fight here you go.

S.A.A.B Sequel

You all can now view the sequel aptly named "Back To Work" I hope you all enjoy.