Chapters My name is Fluttershy. I used to live in a cottage near the Everfree forest with my husband and animal friends.
If you had asked anypony about me at the time, they would most likely say: " she is really shy, but sweet and kind." But I'm not. At least, not anymore. Before I die tomorrow, I will tell you how I went from the element of kindness, to a monster.
I used to be the best animal caretaker in ponyville. Owners often paid more than what I charged for taking care of their pets. I had pets, or animal friends of my own, too. But the one I loved most was a white bunny I called Angel. I always made sure that I gave him the best food I had, he had his own little bed, and he was allowed to do what the other critters weren't allowed to do. I got many complaints for this, but I loved him too much to do anything else than make him apologize.
As time went on, I married a nice and handsome stallion. We always had a good time together, taking care of our animals. He was an animal lover as well. He also grew fond of Angel, even though Angel was still sceptical towards him.
One day, the mares in charge of Equestria's animal shelters came to visit. They approved, on one condition.
"Angel bunny must be controlled," they said.
"Controlled? What do you mean?" My husband asked. I had never, ever heard them say that before.
"We don't want any favoritism in any animal shelter. I can tell that he is allowed to scratch the furniture, while any other animal would have been punished.
"Don't get us wrong, your shelter is fantastic. It's rare to find somepony who can talk to animals. But rules are rules. We accepted it before, since he was a new pet and needed to get used to the rules. But it's been four years now, and still no progress. So control the bunny, or you have to put the animals in cages," they explained to us. "See you in a month," they said before they left.
Once they had left, I freaked out a little. "Only a month? Angel doesn't even know the rules around here! How is he going to learn them in a month? What if he won't listen to me? Then we have to use cages! CAGES! That is horrible!" I screamed in hysteria.
Suddenly, I felt a calming hoof on my shoulder. I saw into my husband's loving eyes. "Don't worry, honey. If there's anypony Angel will listen to, it's you. Besides, he isn't heartless. I'm sure he'll understand," he reassured me.
I really hoped he would be right.
I found Angel outside, eating broccoly. "Angel, where did you get that? I'm pretty sure I didn't buy that," I asked. He glared at me before he pointed towards Sweet apple acres. "Oh no," I whispered.
"Where's that darn rodent?" A too familiar voice shouted. Applejack ran straight towards Angel, throwing a tiny lasso around his waist. "So you thought you could hide in Fluttershy's cottage, huh? No one steals from an Apple and gets away with it!" Applejack was furious. Angel struggled against the rope, looking at me with pleading eyes. Control the bunny, or you have to put the animals in cages, the mare's words echoed in my mind. I gave Angel a dissapointed look.
I knew I had to punish him somehow, but I didn't want to be cruel, so I said:"you're sleeping outside this week," I said harshly. Perhaps I was too harsh, because the look on Angel's face was of confusion, sadness and anger.
Applejack let go of him, and he ran away. "Whoa, Fluttershy. Ah haven't seem yah so mad at 'im before," Applejack said, visibly worried. "He needs to know that his actions have consequences. I am tired of standing up for him," I lied. I couldn't tell her the truth. I just couldn't. "Wow, sugarcube. That's great news! I probably shouldn't say it, but most ponies in Ponyville hates 'im. Carrot top almost called pest control when he stole carrots from her. It's great that yeh finally take a stand against 'im.
"Welp, gotta go back to the farm. Cider season is just around the corner, and there are chores to be done. See yah later, Fluttershy!" Applejack said before she left. I couldn't believe what I had just heard. How long had Angel been stealing from others? So that was why he never was hungry at dinnertime. All those bills on groceries I haven't bought, had that been Angel's doing? I had a strange, warm feeling in me I didn't recognize at first. All I could think about was all the things Angel had done.
I spent my money to make the salad he wanted, and how did he thank me? By throwing it away because there was no cherry!
He's the reason I couldn't afford food for Henry. He had been stealing from the shops in Ponyville. Why? Isn't my food good enough for him? Isn't my love for him enough?
These dark thoughts kept spiraling in my head until I recogniced the feeling I had towards him now: hatred.
He thinks he is hot stuff? Well, if he keeps that additude, there will be no more nice-Fluttershy. Either he's going to change his ways, or else!
****
I woke up to knocking on the door. Who comes to visit so late in the night? I wondered as I put on my pajamas. I trotted down, and opened the door. It was Angel. He looked at me with an angry face, and was stomping on the ground with his left foot. I sighed. "I told you that you're sleeping outside this week. He gave me a look that said:"but where will I sleep?"
"Sleep with the other bunnies," I said through a yawn. I looked on the clock. 12.15. He had woke me up in the middle of the night.
I was about to close the door before he hopped in. I do not know if it was because I was dead tired, or because of the boiling hate that was growing in my stomach. But I kicked him outside with my front hooves. I gasped when I realised what I had done. I was going to help him up, but he got on his feet, and gave me a betrayed look before he hopped away.
Author's Note
If you're wondering, Fluttershy's husband in this story will remain unnamed because he serves as a plot device, and I don't want to make you believe I ship her with anypony particular. Exept discord.
I couldn't sleep that night. No matter how much I tried, I couldn't get comfortable. I felt horrible. I had kicked Angel. Hard, even. I couldn't get the squeal he made out of my head. So I decided to go downstairs to ease my mind with some camomille tea. When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I couldn't believe my eyes. Angel was raiding the fridge.
"Angel! What are you doing!" I shouted, not loud enough to wake the other animals, but enough to make him jump in surprise. He turned, and had a scared look on his face. Then he looked at the carrot he was holding, and put it away before giving a nervous smile. "Now, Angel, you'll get food in the morning. Now, go to the bunny village, I'm sure they have a place for you to sleep there," I told him as calmly as I could. Bunny village was a place had built for bunnies, hares, mice and rats to live. Angel had never been there before, since he was the only animal that slept inside the cottage. I was trying very hard not to get angry at him. But I still felt great anger inside me. He didn't move. I knew what he was doing. He was pretending he didn't know what I was talking about.
"Angel, I mean it! I told you you can't sleep in the cottage for a week. Get. Out. Bunny village is nice, I'm sure you'll like it there," I told him. Still no reaction, exept folded arms. He won't respect you before you do something. Punish him properly! a voice in my head said.
Something inside me knew that it was wrong to punish a helpless animal, but the voice sounded so reasonable. Like in a trance, I went to the kitchen and got a sharp knife. I hid it under my wing, and walked back to Angel. "One last chance, Angel," I warned him. He did not leave the fridge. So I grabbed him between my hooves, took him to the basement. The mayor had trusted me to hide all torture equipment in Ponyville after a crazy pony stole a torture chair from the museum.
But all I needed was a tiny woodboard with strong straps. I strapped Angel to it, and took out the knife. This, of course, terrified him. But I was only after giving him a warning.
Without thinking, I cut off most of his left ear. He screamed, but nopony would hear him from the basement. He was bleeding. His blood was running down his face, mixing with tears as it ran down his cheeck. I still don't know how I was able to be so emotionless while I took out some alchohol to clean the wound. He squealed and struggled, but couldn't get free.
After I had made sure his wound was clean, I put away the knife under my wing, released Angel from the straps, and asked, "Will you now do as I say?" He nodded.
"Good. And if you tell any of the other animals what has happened here, things will go bad for you. If anyone asks how your ear turned out that way, say you got attacked by a wild animal. Understood?" Another nod. "Good. Now, get out!"
He ran outside as fast as he could. As soon as I cleaned my hooves and the knife from blood, a wave of regret washed over me. I couldn't believe what I had just done. I had never done such a thing in my life. My hooves were shaking as I reached for the teapot to make some calming camomille tea. As I waited for the water to boil, I was still shaking. I looked at my hooves. They were clean, but I still felt like there still was blood on them.What have you done, what have you done,what have you done...
I jumped when the teapot squealed. It sounded just like Angel's screams. Hooves trembling, I took a teacup, and poured. But my hooves weren't steady enough, so the teacup fell down with a CRASH! I picked up the pieces, but stopped in my tracks when I saw that the patterns on the cup were white bunnies. "Don't panic, Fluttershy, it's just a coincidence," I told myself as I picked up the pieces and threw them in the trash. I took a new cup, and started pouring. I felt a little better, and when I was done drinking, I looked in the cup to see if the tealeaves had made a shape. I almost jumped when I saw that the tealeaves had formed a bunny. my hooves were trembling again as I put away the pot and the cup and went back upstairs.
***
I didn't see Angel that morning. I had prepared his favourite salad to apologize, but he was nowhere to be seen. I flew nervously to bunny village, hoping to see him. A split second, I saw him. He was in the hotel, eating a carrot. When he saw me, he instantly closed the blinds to his room. I knelt down, and whispered: "Angel, I brought your favourite salad. I hope you can forgive me." When I didn't get a response, I left him. He had all the right in the world to hate me. I hated him too, but I still regretted doing such a thing. I hoped that if I left, he would come out and eat the salad. That was all I could do.
I went to Ponyville to clear my mind. I tought I could do some grocery shopping, or perhaps have something to eat. Or maybe buy a gift for my husband. He would be going on a bussiness trip soon, and an early birthday gift would be perfect. So I walked towards a gift shop and had a look. Finally, I decided to buy a giftcard he could use in any store in Equestria (exept Appleoosa). Then I suddenly heard angry shouting from the market. Curious, I flew to see what the fuss was about.
I saw Carrot top, Roseluck and Daisy surrounding a bunny. I instantly recognized him. Angel! I landed besides the mares. "What did he do this time?" I asked over a sigh.
"He raided my carrot supply!" Carrot top shouted angrily.
"He stomped over my roses!" Roseluck said.
"He bit over the stem of all my flowers!" Daisy shouted, not fainting for once.
"How many bits do I have to pay?" I asked casually.
"We have found out that your bunny has made damage for 360 bits," Roseluck answered. "120 bits each."
I payed them their bits, and they walked away. "Sorry," I said to the mares. I turned my head and glared at Angel.
As ponies were leaving, I picked him up and put him in my saddlebag. I may have looked like I was completely calm, but on the inside, I hated Angel more than ever. I can't explain it, but I started having dark toughts. I wanted to harm him. For once, I didn't feel any regret for what I had done the other night. He deserved what he got. Clearly, he hasn't learned anything. He is a waste of an animal. There's no use in keeping him alive. The longer I tought about it the more tempting it got. How satisfying wouldn't it be to see him die?
I got to the cottage, and went inside Everfree forest. I picked up Angel, alongside a knife I always carried around in case of the worst. I pinned him down with one hoof, and held the knife in another. "I sheltered you. I fed you! I loved you! I let you sleep inside the cottage! I always gave you the better food! I even let you break the rules! And how do you repay me? You steal from the townsponies, and the townsponies give me the bill. You have used my kindness all these years for yous selfish needs. I hope you're satisfied. To think that once, I loved you!" I yelled before I slit his troath. I watched him struggle against my hoof, but to no avail. Eventually, he choked to death. Unlike last time, I didn't feel regret. I felt... Happy. I felt... Free. I laughed. Not a happy laugh. A crazy laugh. I do not know how long I was laughing, but when I was done, I left Angel's body and found a river. I washed my hooves and the knife before putting it back in the bag. I flew to the cottage, acting like nothing had happened. I continued the day full of cheer, and at the end of the day, me and my husband went to sleep.
I woke up to fire.
I woke up to fire. "Fluttershy! Wake up!" My husband had awoken me. I stood up and jumped out of the bed. "We have to get out of here!" My husband shouted. "Lie as close to the floor as possible! We have to crawl out!" I yelled back.
It was easier said than done. Random objects were falling everywhere. The cottage was falling apart. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, I suddenly froze.
Over on the counter were the bottles of olive oil I had bought a few days ago. "Oh Faust," me and my husband said in unison. Just as the bottles exploded, my husband threw me to the ground to protect me from the blast. I gasped when I saw that the shadow of the flames were shaped like a bunny. I froze completely. I was in shock.
Not wasting any time, my husband threw me on his back, and ran out. Just in time too. By then, the flames had reached the gasoline storage. The blast was so powerful, it almost burst my eardrums, and my vision got blurry. Red spots were dancing in my eyes. As I blinked them away, my vision got clearer. I let out a scream when I saw what had happened. The whole cottage had exploded.
Small flaming parts flew into the bunny village, the puppy playground and the cat salon. I watched as the critters evacuated from their flaming homes.
I froze. I do not know how long I stood there as a statue, but I came to my senses when the fire department arrived. I had a blanket around me, and my husband was sitting down beside me. I decided to join him. He put a reassuring hoof on my shoulder.
It was more than I could bare. I lunged at him, crying. I couldn't stop crying. He held around me in a failing attempt to comfort me. I cried and I cried until I had no tears left. We stood there, hugging for a while. I knew he was sad as well. But he had decided to stay strong for me. He always was a gentlecolt.
In the corner of my eyes, I saw my friends approaching.
"Oh, Fluttershy! Are you okay?" Twilight asked me.
"I'm fine. I'm just a little shocked, that's all," I lied in an attempt to reassure her.
"Ya sure, sugarcube? I can tell yer lyin," Applejack asked. I let out a sigh.
"Fine! I have never been so afraid since queen Chrysalis revealed herself. But I'm fine, really," I said.
"Ok, if you say so. Perhaps you two could stay at my castle while we find you a new home," Twilight suggested.
"No thanks. The animals won't have anywhere to be then," I answered. "I'll figure something out. Thanks for the offer, though."
"Ok, if you say so," Twilight said. I knew she was concerned. I could see it in her eyes.
Then I noticed a crowd of ponies around the ruins of the cottage. I walked closer. They were murmuring about something I didn't quite catch. Then I saw it. A single wall remained. It had been completely untouched by the flames, exept for a burnmark that made me gasp in horror. The mark was the shape of a bunny with only one ear and a slit throath. Just seeing it made me uneasy. I tried to walk away casually, acting like nothing was wrong. I stumbled a little, but I managed to push it out of my head. I didn't think of it any more. I probably should have.
Mayor Mare found us a house at the edge of Ponyville. It wasn't like the cottage, but it was perfect overall. The property was big enough for the animals to play, the walls were solid, and the basement was roomy, perfect for storing firewood, though we needed to be careful not to put too much weight on the plaster walls. Of course, we accepted right away. The next days were full of hard work. Me and my husband started to build the habitats, with a little help from my friends. After a week, we were finished. It wasn't as pretty as the habitats at the cottage, but it was manageable. We knew the critters would be building on their own at that point.
When we prepared for bed, my husband looked puzzled. "What's wrong, honey?" I asked him.
"Haven't you noticed? When I counted the animals when we got this house, I noticed that Angel wasn't there. And the day before the cottage caught fire, Angel had a missing ear. I just don't understand. Even if he was wounded, he would be able to get away from the flames, right honey?" He asked.
"W-well, maybe he's just hiding. O-of course, there is a possibility he got e-eaten by a timberwolf," I said very nervously. He was on to something. I had to convince him that Angel died naturally. "I mean, it wouldn't be the first time one of the animals have dissapeared. He might have run away, too," I kept lying. Is it lying if you are avoiding the truth? It isn't being honest, but it isn't a direct lie, is it? I don't know.
"Yeah, that is possible. You tould me he kept complaining about food, bed and other animals. And if he heard what would happen if he wasn't treated equally to the other animals, he might have ran away," my husband reasoned. He had accepted that lie. From that moment on, we didn't talk about Angel at all. But I couldn't help but feel guilt and even... loss. I denied it, but a part of me missed Angel. And that wasn't a good feeling. So I decided to try and find a new bunny at the same place I found Angel.
Everfree.
