Caboose Saves Equestria

by cyberlord4444

Rating: everyone
Tags: Other, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Random, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1028

Caboose was helping his friend, but took a wrong turn while looking for a bathroom, and now he's in Canterlot during the Changling Invasion... can someone explain to me how that's physically possible?

Caboose was helping his friend, but took a wrong turn while looking for a bathroom, and now he's in Canterlot during the Changling Invasion... can someone explain to me how that's physically possible?

Red Vs Blue crossover

Published 2016-07-19 18:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-07-19 18:00:01 UTC

What Just Happened?

Twilight sobbed quietly to herself. Yesterday, her brother was going to get married. Today, her brother was brainwashed, her foalsitter was replaced by a Changling, and everyone else, including her, was captured. And to make matters worse, Chrysalis was gloating.

"Well, this is quite a momentous occasion. You will all remember this day as the day that Equestria fell to the Changling Hive. And there is no one left to stand in my way!"

All of a sudden, the doors opened. "Is this? No, this isn't the bathroom." Everypony turned to see who had spoken, it was a large bipedal figure in blue armor.

"And just who are you?" asked Chrysalis.

"Oh, my name's Caboose, hi. Hey, is that you Tex?"

"I am Chrysalis, Queen of the Changling Hive, not this Tex you speak of."

"Oh, sorry, it's just you're just like her, you're big, and black, and mean, although now that I think about it she's not a bug pony."

"Quiet you fool!"

"Is O'Malley in your head? He was in my head for a while, it wasn't very fun." Caboose turned to look at the other ponies in the room. "Wow, there are a lot of ponies here, there are regular ponies, and ponies with wings, and ponies with horns, oh look," Caboose walked over to Rainbow, "it's a Blue pony. I'm Blue too, we should be friends."

"What are you doing here?" Chrysalis asked.

"Oh," Caboose turned towards her, "I was in this big temple looking for a new body for Church, he's my best friend, when suddenly I had to use the bathroom. So I put Church down to look for one, since I don't like it when people are looking at me when I'm in the bathroom, and after walking around for a while I ended up here, this place looked a lot smaller on the outside."

"This isn't a temple," Twilight said.

"No I remember, we were in the desert to rescue Tucker, and he said it was a temple, so I'm in a temple."

"Um, you might want to look outside," Twilight said while pointing at a window.

"Okay," Caboose said cheerfully before walking to it. "...that is not a desert. Hey, miss bug pony lady?"

"What do you want?"

"Oh, I was gonna ask if you knew the bug ponies who were chasing the nice looking ponies, but I would like a cookie."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

Caboose sighed, "You know, I'm getting real tired of people offering me a cookie, then not giving me one. First it was Sarge, now you, this isn't a very nice prank."

"Aw," said Pinkie before pulling a cookie out of her mane, "here you go."

"Thank you miss nice pink pony lady," Caboose said before putting it in his pocket, "pink people are always nice to me."

"It's lightish red!"

"Um, aren't you gonna eat that?" asked Dash.

"Silly Blue pony, right now is helping friends time, food time comes later."

"Silly Dashie, everyone knows that," said Pinkie.

"Anyway, since it's 'helping friends time'," Dash said, "think you could help us?"

"No problem, just hold still." Caboose fired his gun, the bullet ricocheting off several stain glass windows shattering them, cutting the ropes of no less than 2 chandeliers, before finally puncturing the cocoon that was holding Celestia, and hitting her in the flank.

"Yeaowchi," Celestia screamed as she spilled out of the cocoon.

Caboose looked at the destruction he had wraught, "Tucker did it."

"Nice one Caboose," Dash said as she pulled herself free of the bindings that had been nicked by the bullet as it flew by.

"I did? I mean yes, that was me, I meant to do that. Sorry about shooting you miss big pony lady!"

"No need for apologies," Celestia said as she cast a quick healing spell on herself, "you have released me so that I may deal with the one who has dared to harm my little ponies."

Chrysalis laughed, "Do you honestly think that you can defeat me after I've proven that I am the most powerful of the two of us?"

Before Celestia could retort, the doors slammed open, "Could you please be quiet! Someponies are trying to sleep!"

"Oh, it's a big Blue pony lady. Did I wake you? Sorry."

Luna looked around with her bloodshot eyes, "Did I miss something?"

"Oh, the big mean bug pony lady put the big white pony lady in a cocoon and there are not as big bug ponies outside chasing other ponies. Are they playing? Cause the normal ponies don't look like they're having fun."

"Oh Celestia," Luna said before summoning a suit of armor and at least a half-dozen massive halberds that hovered around her menacingly as a sadistic smile appeared on her face, "did you make a new holiday without telling me?"

"Uh, you might want to run now," Caboose said to Chrysalis as her face turned pale.

"Let the festivities begin!" Luna cried before lunging at her.

As Luna went to work, Caboose was the only one who was still able to speak. "Um, I don't think knees go that way. Bug ponies have green blood, I did not know that. Huh, so you can beat someone with their own skull."

"And that my faithful student," Celestia said as Twilight proceeded to lose her lunch from the past week, "is why I didn't call my sister in the first place.

"Well this is fun and all but I need to go back and help Church."

"Hey, didn't you need to find a bathroom?" asked Pinkie.

"Oh, thanks to the big Blue pony lady, I don't need to go anymore, I do need to go home and get some new underwear though."

"What do you mea... ewww."

"Yeah, goodbye!"

As Caboose left, Cadance and Shining managed to create a forcefield to launch all the Changlings screaming out of Canterlot, except for Chrysalis, who was sighing in relief.

Luna pouted, "Is it over already? We haven't even got to use the big hammer yet."

Author's Note

Just a little something to get the old creative juices flowing, I regret nothing.