Spike hung by a rope around his neck. He wondered if anything he did was even worth trying. He'd made a decision to try and ease his suffering that night with the help of a sturdy rope. The only problem was that he was a dragon, which meant his neck was far stronger than he realized.

"There really is no point to any of this is there?" he said to himself as he looked up and burned the rope in his emerald flames.

They disappeared in a puff of smoke and he landed on the ground as the smoke landed next to him forming the rope he was using. It was only a passing thought that made him attempt something like this, but thoughts like that were all he had lately. Nothing was changing in his life and Twilight was still as ignorant as ever.

It's as if the world just wants me to suffer. I can't even escape it the way I want to.

"It was a bad idea in the first place; I shouldn't have even tried. I just need to find things to occupy myself." Spike answered the voice in his head.

It was my only path towards being free of all of this. Am I really destined for nothing greater than being a slave?

"I'm not a slave. I'm the Princess of Friendship's number one assistant and family." He said with a slight hiccup towards the end.

Family, again with that word. I can't even say it properly anymore. I can't lie to myself anymore it's never going to change if I don't take action.

"I don't know. Maybe I should just talk to Twilight about all this. I'm sure she'll listen and help me out. If not her than somepony else would... right?"

...

"Right?!" he yelled into the air.

There was no reply, he was only talking to himself and even then the voice had abandoned him to figure out the problem at hand alone. The moon shone through his window landing on his small figure. He was sitting down undoing the knots he had made on the rope and taking it apart bit by bit. His claws were long and dry from lack of maintenance. His scales had grown dull the past week. The bags under his eyes were now visible despite his efforts to keep them hidden. He rarely smiled anymore and was always downcast when left to himself.

Even with all of that, the one major change that occurred was the look in his eyes. He had gone from having eyes full of life to them resembling empty pools of stagnant water. It was the only thing he had actually laughed about when he caught a picture of his younger self with Twilight and her family. He was off to the side while the rest of the family took the center; nothing but a footnote even then. He laughed at his past for having dreams and aspirations; laughed at the notion that he could have done great things. Even if he had saved the Crystal Empire, he didn't deserve the praise. He had only moved due to Twilight's instruction and nothing else. That was always the case, nothing he did was anything less than what she asked or what she expected.

"It's better this way. Who'll cook for her or clean her mess? Who'll carry her things or send her letters?" He tried to force a smile; all the while ripping apart the rope in his hands."If I wasn't around she'd just be hopeless... she needs me... I can't leave her..."

Spike stood up and threw the remains of the rope on the ground next to the tiny pieces he'd ripped off and shredded. He headed towards the door and entered the hall as quietly as he could. He didn't want to wake Twilight up from her well-deserved rest.

I wish I could sleep as well as that bitch.

"Stop it."

Descending a flight of stairs, he walked towards one of the many doors that looked the same as all the others. Visitors always wondered how he'd never get lost and he'd reply that it was a secret. That was what he said, but it wasn't a secret at all. He'd mapped the whole place out the first couple of weeks he couldn't sleep. He'd walk around at night fixing anything and everything he could. He'd wash, dust, sweep, and mop anything that he thought might need it. Every night he'd do the same until he finally knew where everything was kept. Lately, he'd forgone even his nightly cleaning sessions and that's when the thoughts came up.

They'd always come when he was left without anything to do. It was impossible to stop them nowadays. They were getting to be so frequent that, even when he did have work, they'd come to the forefront of his mind. He stepped into the bathroom and got up on the stool that he kept in front of the sink. There was a bathroom on the same floor as his room but that was also the bathroom that Twilight would use as well. Not to mention it was far too close to her room for him to use it at night. He stared at his reflection without much surprise as he already knew what the sleepless nights and daily mental battles were doing to him.

Waste of space. That's all I see anymore. When was it that I stopped caring for myself?

"Please..."

It was probably when I had to take care of her for the first time. It was never really a choice if I remember correctly. She asked for a favor and that turned into more favors. Then eventually she just told me what to do and I'd do it. The favors were never repaid and I stood there and took it with a smile.

"No. I wanted to do those things. She gave me a choice; it wasn't a demand."

Wasn't it? I still remember her calling me a nuisance and stupid when I was younger. She might have thought I forgot, but that stayed. It was the reason I tried harder for her at any given point. It was so she could accept me for who I was. Only, that wasn't who I am at all. I changed and adapted for her; not for myself. It was never a favor and it was never my choice. It was all for her; it always is and always will be.

"Don't you think I know that?! I know that was always the case! I've never had anything work out for me otherwise! If I don't do the things she says, then what good am I in the end?!" He yelled at his reflection as he punched the mirror shattering it to pieces. "I hate cooking! I hate cleaning! I don't care about the proper way to file documents and I loathe the fact that I remember the entirety of the Dewey Decimal System! I just want to be me! Why can't I be myself?!"

He collapsed onto the sink and cried. It had been a long time since he had cried and the tears weren't stopping anytime soon. His hand was bleeding as shards of glass were wedged in between his scales, yet, he didn't care. He welcomed the pain as it was the only thing that felt real. It wasn't until the moon was beginning to set that he'd stopped crying and washed his face. He cleaned the shards and picked the ones out of his hands. He was cleaning again; even if he hated doing so, it was now so engraved into his body that it was a natural reaction.

"I have to stop the blood..." Spike stared at the blood that had pooled in the sink on top of the water. He watched as it slowly dripped from his hand and smiled as it hit the red surface. He grabbed one of the largest shards from the wastebasket and held it with his good hand.

Do it.

"But..."

It felt great, liberating, fresh! It made me feel... For the first time in a long time, it was something other than the type of pain I've been feeling.

Spike turned his hand over and exposed his palm. The scales around the front of his body were a bit softer than the rest but still strong enough to withstand a lot. He knew that he couldn't just jab something into himself. Instead, he took the shard and placed it underneath of his scales and began to dig it out. It was like carving out a chunk of flesh as the scale was never meant to be removed. He dug and lifted as the sickly sound of blood and tearing sinew filled the small room. When he finally removed it, there was a gush of blood which he stopped by cauterizing it with his flames.

Spike dropped the bloody makeshift weapon and lifted the scale which he'd peeled. He stared at his arm and his work with a smile.

"It felt great..." was all that escaped his lips before he passed out.

"Sp... Spike! Spike! Are you in there?" A voice from the other side of the door yelled.

Spike dragged himself up and found that he was floating. He sank for a bit and gagged as he returned to the surface. He looked around and saw the faucet still gushing out water. Diving under he went straight for it and turned it off before going back up top for air.

"Spike?! What's going on in there?!" The voice screamed again.

"Nothing Twilight!" he replied

"What do you mean nothing?! The hall is flooded with water and you sounded like you were drowning."

"Sorry, I probably fell asleep while taking a bath. Hold on for a bit, I'll fix it." He took a deep breath and released the biggest flame he'd ever made.

The water was caught in the flames bit by bit and soon all of it was nothing but a giant puff of smoke. He thought of the lake just outside of town and the smoke pushed through the bottom of the door heading towards its destination. The bathroom was left wet and the evidence of last night was gone; along with the mirror that was broken. All that was left was a wet baby dragon and the scale from last night. He blew fire on it and the smoke headed for his room as he unlocked and opened the door to find a very angry Purple Pony Princess.

"Fixed it!" He said with a slight smile and hiding his arms behind his back.

"Ugh." She threw her head up in exasperation. "We'll talk about this later. Make sure to clean all of this up before breakfast Spike. Got it?"

"Sure thing, Twilight." He replied immediately with a smile on his face. "Anything for you."

He watched her leave taking a flight of stairs down to the dining area. She took one last look behind to see him still smiling. She shook her head and continued downstairs leaving the dragon by himself. When she was out of sight, Spike ran to his room and looked at the scale resting on his pillow. He picked it up and stared at it shining in the sun with a smile.

"She didn't even notice. I'm honestly not surprised. I wonder if she did and just regarded it as unimportant."

We could just kill her.

"What? Who's there?"

Think about it. She may be an alicorn but she's far too trusting. Get the chance to get close enough and tear her throat out. Poison is also pretty effective; there are enough books and tools here to make the perfect poison.

"Who's talking?! What are you trying to do to Twilight?!"

Spike scoured the room to find the location of the voice only for it to end in vain. He couldn't find the source and yet felt he knew from where it came. He turned the scale in his hand over once more and looked at the reflective surface. What he saw was himself only it wasn't the image with a purple tint. It was a clear and vivid image of himself, he wasn't looking into a reflection at all. He was staring at his body moving by itself.

"Wha.."

"Think of it Spike, once she dies you'll be free. No more exhaustion, no more suffering in silence. Just peace, complete and utter peace."

What are you?

"I'm you, Spike. Nothing more and nothing less. The purest version of yourself, the one that wants to see her smile."

No...

"Won't she look happy Spike? Once we carve her corpse with a permanent smile? Won't we be happy?"

"Noo!"

There was a sudden pain and he was hit with a migraine ten times worse in magnitude than he'd ever experienced. Once it subsided he found himself in his room again. Nothing changed other than the scale he dropped once the migraine hit. Picking it up carefully, he turned it to the reflective side with hesitation and found only his reflection copying his movements.

Before he could think of anything else, Twilight's voice rang through the hallway. "Spike! I thought you were going to clean up the mess!"

Throwing the scale onto his pillow he ran out of the room to intercept her from coming inside. "Sorry, I spaced for a bit. I'll get right on it Twilight."

"Fine. I'll be waiting for you downstairs. Let me know when you're done."

"Sure thing, Twilight."

He watched her leave with a smile on his face to assure her that nothing was wrong. Despite living together and knowing each other since his birth. She could never tell when he was truly putting on a mask. It helped in situations when he didn't want her prying into anything.

Just go up and hug her. Once she reciprocates take that moment to snap her neck.

"Stop it... please just stop."

Tears rolled down his face once the alicorn's figure left and his strength gave out. He collapsed onto the closed door behind him and clutched his head in pain. The migraines were getting stronger and with them the voice.

Author's Note

So, if you have read the mlp comic arc about when Twilight first met Spike after the exam, you'll know as to where I got the part of his experience when he was young. If not, then I recommend you read it if not for the information at least because it was pretty good.

I promised a sequel to Anything For You and here is the first chapter. I know I have a few other stories I need to work on but this thing has been swimming around in my head for a while now. I'm glad I could get it out as it somehow seemed to nag at me with a voice of my own in some way.

As always, thank you for taking the time to read my story. Please leave a comment or critique below as any critique helps me grow as a writer. Have a great day!