Minuette Tries FanFiction and Fails
Minuette set down pencils, paper, and a gummy eraser on her desk. Everything was in place, her apartment was spotless, she even cleaned her roomates' room so she wouldn't be distracted by Lyra and Twinkleshine's pigstie. She sat down in her chair and picked up a pencil.
...
Minuette got up and grabbed a soda from the fridge. She took a long swig from it and then sat back down and proceeded to stare at the blank paper in front of her.
...
She drank more of the soda.
...
A little more.
...
She tried to sip more, but found it empty. Minuette grunted and levitated the useless bottle into the trash. She pressed her hooves agaisnt her head, trying to focus.
...
She sighed when somepony knocked on the door.
"Who is it?" she asked, and moved to open it.
An overly grim voice spoke back, "your worst nightmare!"
Minuette hesitated. She put her ear on the door. "Is it you, Lyra?"
"Nope! Guess again."
"Hmm... Shoeshine? I heard she can be really scary when she's mad."
"Huh? N-no! ...Well, if that really is your worst nightmare than...sure."
"I'm kind of busy at the moment. Could you give me nightmares some other day? The girls and I will have your rent money by next week."
"Rent money? What are you talking about?" The pony behind the door went into a coughing fit, having trouble consistently talking in the dark tone.
"Come on, Song, I know it's you. You can drop the act." Minuette swung the door open to reveal her landlord, Meadow Song.
"You're no fun, Minuette." he pouted.
She rolled her eyes. "I thought landlords were supposed to be strict and no fun. What do you want anyway?"
"I just had a question."
"Lay it on me."
"Let's say, for whatever reason, you had to choose between one of your friends, and whoever you chose was sent to an arena were she would have to fight to the death against several others ponies, who would you choose?"
"That's...really specific." She pondered what to say. "I guess I couldn't really pick anypony. I would want to go in their place if I could."
Meadow Song smirked. "That's all I needed to know."
Minuette was caught off gaurd by his sudden voice change. She stared him as he transformed right in front of her. His legs changed dramatically and didn't match each other. His body grew longer and became snake-like. His eyes turned a firey red and tore a hole in her soul. Discord stood there, looming over her. He motioned to the ground and Minuette fell through. The earth devoured her and she... She..
...
Minuette crumbled up the paper and threw it in the trash. That was the worst idea ever. Wasn't Discord supposed to be reformed anyway? Maybe it was an alternate universe. That would make it more believeable and-
No! She was not going to spend months on a fanfic. She was just gonna write something short and simple. She didn't want to write fanfic for her entire life, she just wanted to make one so she could say that she did it.
Minuette levitated another bottle to her, not wanting to get up.
"What to write..."
Maybe if she came up with an awesome title, the rest would just flow natrualy.
What about...Broken Moonlight. A story about Twinkledancer losing her foalhood crush in a terrible accident and having to cope with it as she develops feelings for a studious unicorn named, uh...Moon Sparkle who has to save the world and forgets all about Twinkledancer...
...
Minuette folded the paper into a paper airplane and shot it at the trash can. It missed. Twilight and Moondancer were cute together, but they would see right through the names. It wasn't subtle enough.
She decided to just grab all the bottles in the fridge and put them on the desk. She was going to need all of it.
Minuette played around with the gummy eraser, thinking it might give her ideas.
...
Minuette jolted awake. She knocked over bottles in the process and they broke on the floor. She cursed and found paper and pencils in her mane. She hadn't gotten anywhere. She went to fetch a broom, but tripped on a mountain of crumbled paper.
She had enough. Minuette left her apartment and got some fresh air. She trotted through the cool night air. She stopped under a streetlamp when she realized she didn't know where she was going.
"I guess I've been stressing myself over something so stupid." She chuckled to herself. "I bet I'm going to throw this paper away since nothing exciting has happened yet."
...
Nothing happened.
...
Nope, nothing.
"Huh, I guess this is real then. I really did fall asleep." Minuette stood there, not sure what to do. "So I just...do whatever?"
She cautiously walked in a direction.
"I'm doing this right? Not some random pony somewhere far away is making me do this?"
She didn't get a reply.
"O-okay. If that's the case, then I bet that pony sure wouldn't mind if I...made out with this bench!"
She wasn't getting an answer.
Minuette inched closer to the bench. "I'm gonna do it!" She put her hooves on it. "It isn't going to be pretty!"
Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
She leaned closer to the bench.
Okay, okay. Fffffffffffffffine! What do you want?
"You know what I want."
No. I don't. That's why I asked.
"Yes, you do know. You know better than anypony."
Frghrghgshrhggfrfine! Minuette found herself ontop of a hill, overlooking the beautiful sunset. Berry Punch-
"Ahem!"
*Inaudible mumbling*
"What was that?"
Nothing! Is this really want you want? I feel like the reader will think that I'm just a shipper and I don't care about having a proper story.
"Oh, please. You stopped thinking about the reader about five hours ago. Now go, write me out."
*Sigh*
The completely sober Berry Punch sat next to Minuette. The two shared the moment together and looked to the future and blah blah cheesy ending. Uh, the end.
...
PaperJam put down his quill and looked at what he had just written.
"What in Tartarus did I just write?"
Author's Note
Just a little backstory: I wrote this when I was stressed about having only one page left in my sketchbook and not being able to write for 3 days. I forced myself to write this so I could let out some frustration and to prove to myself that it is possible for me to actually finish something. Yeah. My head hurts from being so meta.
