Big Mac was not a brave pony.
Sure, he could weather the toughest of storms with nary a grimace or falter. When the Parasprites stripped the land bare, he dug his hooves in and weathered the financial storm. When Jonagold and Bailey Sweet perished, he stood a little taller and trudged through the emotional storm. And when the Windigoes broke loose, he sheltered his family from the literal storm. There was never a question of whether he was strong. But that wasn't being brave. That was just him protectin' the ponies he cared about. That was easy.
Telling his sister he was gay, that was hard.
Big Mac was not a brave pony, but he could at least be a strong pony, and sometimes that was close enough. Big Mac needed to tell his sister. He loved Applejack, and she deserved to know who he really was. She might get mad. She might lash out. She might even disown him. But he'd rather be honest and unloved than the other way around. This might be painful, but he was a strong pony used to pain. So, steeling himself, he trotted into the kitchen where Applejack was baking on a crisp October evening. This was it. He took a big breath and let it out:
"Applejack, I'm gay."
"Okay," his sister replied, pouring a cup of sugar into an apple-filled bowl.
"Okay," he echoed incredulously. "That's it?"
"Eeyup," she replied.
She turned towards the icebox and he blocked her path. "You... you don't care that I like stallions?"
"Nnnope," she answered tersely, maneuvering around him. "Y'all's business is yer business, not mine."
The stallion grimaced. Surely she was puttin' on airs. "AJ, you really don't care that I enjoy the taste of penis?!"
Applejack snapped. "No, Ah don't care what you do with your mouth, and ah don't care what you do with your dick! Stick it where ever you want as long as it's legal and consensual. I don't care!" She brusquely pulled two eggs from the icebox and returned to her mixing bowl.
But MacIntosh tailed her doggedly. "You aren't at all bothered by the fact that I enjoy the sensation of a fellow pony's stallionhood deep within my anal cavity?"
"No!" she replied, violently cracking the eggs against the bowl's rim.
"You aren't upset that I want my hooves lassoed together and my holes spit-roasted?"
"Frogs and potatoes, that's disgusting, but I still don't care!"
Big Mac was undeterred by his sister's nonplussed state. "You are not made even a little uncomfortable by my desire to mount fellow males and repeatedly drive my rock-hard shaft through their fragile sphincter, in and out, in and out, grunting and squealing with vigorous thrusting until I release my hot load into their loins, filling their rectum with my seed?!"
Applejack paused her journey to the pantry and turned to face him. "No, no, no, no, NO! I don't fucking care how you copulate! Please stop pestering me with your lurid fantasies, Ah'm trying to bake me a pie here, and ah don't appreciate your incessant attempts at flustering me. I don't give a Monday Cow's Tuesday shit! Go fuck all the stallions in Ponyville. I don't care!"
Big Mac flared his nostrils. "Do you not feel uncomfortable that I desire my penis caged and my balls kicked while I eat out another guy's ass? Are you not angry that I want to choke on fat horse chode, coughing up spittle and gasping for air, while other stallions stroke their flared and turgid members above my body, streaming thick loads of jizz into my coat?!? Is there not a morbid repulsiveness to the idear of dick after dick penetrating my rear until my supple butthole is rendered a gaping expanse, streams of cum and shit drizzling out of it?!?! Are your jimmies not rustled? Are your dazzles not razzled?! ARE YOUR SPRINKLES NOT EVEN A LITTLE WRINKLED!?!?!?
AJ shrieked and hurled the cup of flour she was holding against the wall. It shattered loudly as white powder exploded everywhere.
"HOG'S IN HEAT, I AM NOT ANGERED BY YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION! You could literally deepthroat every stallion in Ponyville, plus half of Canterlot, and I WOULD NOT CARE! You could out-Blueblood Blueblood. You could lay more stallions than Cadance at a Chip-N-Dales! You could make Rarity look like a virginal saint of sexual purity in comparison to your libertine ways. I literally do not give two flying fucks what you do with your sex life. In fact, I don't even give one flying fuck. Maybe, maybe half of a flying fuck just because I'm a might bit concerned that Applebloom might walk in on y'all doing Faust knows what, but honestly, I'm not sure if that counts for half a fuck, because I know you've got enough grey matter in that noggin of yours to lock the fucking door before you engage in coitus, and honestly, I'm considerin' downsizin' that half a fuck to a quarter fuck, because Applebloom's fourteen and it's not like she doesn't know how the birds and the bees work and sure it'd be a bit traumatic for her, but she's a big girl and she'd get over walking in on her brother getting jackhammered in the asshole by another stallion pretty quickly, and besides, if ah may speak my mind, that filly causes so much trauma around this here town with her crusader friends; I certainly wouldn't mind her being on the receiving end of some mental scars for a change. So in conclusion, please, MacIntosh, enjoy docking, sounding, frotting, fucking, hoofing, deepthroating, spitroasting, whatevering to your horny heart's content. I don't--really really don't--did I mention really?--care what your sexual orientation is. I repeat, I. DO. NOT. CARE. WHO. YOU. FUCK!!!"
Her impassioned shout echoed through the house and beyond. Granny Smith was aroused from her nap. Out in the yard, Winona barked up a storm. Off in the Crusaders clubhouse, Applebloom discovered she had about a dozen new words to ask Sweetie Belle the definition of. Applejack stood there panting. Big Mac just stared.
A good ten seconds of silence (save for Winona's distant barking) reigned before Applejack finally spoke again. "Sorry, I reckon I got a might bit carried away there. Ah love you, Brother. Do whatever you want with your dick."
Big Mackintosh smiled. His sister had a funny way of showing it, but he knew she cared deeply. "Thanks, AJ. Ah'm glad we had this chat."
"Yeah, me too. Awkward sibling hug?"
Big Mac embraced his sister. "Awkward sibling hug."
After a few seconds, they released each other. Applejack shook her head. Brbrbrbrbrbrb! "Now, if you excuse me, I could use a stiff mug of cider after that conversation."
Mac chuckled. "Just mark it in the ledger book. Don't drink too much. Ah don't want a repeat of the last Fall Wrap Up."
AJ smirked. "Ah think ah can regulate my intake. See ya at supper?"
"Nnnope! Ah got plans."
"Oh, really? Who's the lucky stallion, if ah may ask?"
Her brother beamed. "Ah'm going on a date with Braeburn!"
Applejack's face contorted in rage. "MACINTOSH APPLE!!! YOU MAY NOT FUCK YOUR COUSIN!!!"
Author's Note
