Scotchie Does Ponyville

Everypony was at the party.

The mares from Equestria β were there, of course —Scotch had met Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy before. Rarity was more or less what he expected, intimidatingly beautiful, fabulously elegant, and wearing a dress every bit as fabulous and uncomfortable-looking as one of Elusive’s suits. Pinkie Pie was wearing a suit as well, but Scotch doubted that this was normal for her, since she’d already gotten frosting on the lapel. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Bubble Berry was wearing a minidress and fishnet stockings.

Mare Applejack was a lot louder than stallion Applejack. A lot louder.

The alicorn mares were there as well. Three of them, sitting at a table with Solaris, Artemis, and Bolero, giggling like schoolfillies and drinking like lumberjacks. Scotch gave that table a wide berth — six princes and princesses meant six times as many chances to embarrass himself in front of royalty. But honestly, he was giving all the tables a wide berth. The party had been heavily crashed by ponies from his own universe. Sugar Cube Corner was packed, and this many ponies together always made Scotch a little panicky. He hid in the corner behind a giant amp, so that he wasn’t visible from the stage — DJ COL7 was playing, which was awkward — and let himself relax a little. Bubble had stocked the open bar with plenty of Glenfilly. Enough shots of that, and Scotch could be brave.

He inhaled the paint thinner-like fumes coming from his very full little glass and sighed happily. It was a lovely drink. He held it up to admire the way the amber liquid held the light, how its legs clung to the ice cubes.

He heard a large throat being cleared. He looked up. Way up.

“I’m sorry I hit you,” said Pink Lady.

Scotch gulped.

“You made me feel cheap. But I’m bigger than you, and I shouldn’t have hit you. So I’m sorry.”

“It’s… it’s okay. I haven’t been myself lately.”

“I know Blitz probably put you up to it.”

“Indirectly, but yeah.”

“I like the normal you, though.”

“Thanks.”

“A lot.”

And she kissed him on the nose and lumbered away. Scotch blinked. “Um, okay?”

“Butterscotch! Scotchie! How ya’… How ya’ doin’! You wan… wanna drink?” Dusk Shine bumped a bottle of cider against Scotch’s nose.

“I’ve got one, thanks.”

The junior prince and princess were leaning on each other, levitating wine coolers and magic markers. They had written equations on each other’s faces. They were going to look pretty un-royal in the morning. Scotch tried to wriggle back in further between the amp and the wall. “Um, hi, Dusk.”

“I hear… hic I hear you’ve been having some… adventures lately.” He grinned and socked Scotch in the shoulder with a wine cooler. “Way to go… hic pal.”

Scotch whimpered and rubbed his shoulder.

Twilight Sparkle cooed. “Oh, he’s… hic even shyer than Fluttershy! It’s so… so cute!”

Scotch shuffled his hooves and looked away. “So, um, how are you guys?”

“We’re… we’re exploring interdimensional physics. The interaction of… hic bodies from parallel universes,” said Dusk.

Scotch blinked at them.

“We’re going to have sex,” explained Twilight. “Behind the amps.”

“Oh.”

Twilight leaned towards Scotch, grinning. “Vibrations,” she explained.

“I didn’t need to know that,” he squeaked. And he was gone in a puff of feathers.

There was no hope. If he didn’t go to the party, the party was going to come to him. He looked around the room. Pink Lady was watching him with smoky longing in her eyes. In the far corner, he could see Blitz at a table, talking to Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, but he couldn’t face Blitz just yet. He didn’t feel like there was much he could contribute to Elusive and Rarity’s conversation. Mr. and Mrs. Cake were manning the bar, so he wanted to visit that as little as possible. And he certainly wouldn’t be welcome at the table with the five royals — there were those who called the Element Bearers heroes, but clearly they meant his friends, not him.

Wait, only five royals?

A sonorous tenor voice came from above and behind him. It was getting to be a theme for the night. “Your dreams have been troubled of late, little one.”

Scotch scrunched down, kneeling before the Prince of the Night. Artemis was absolutely, amazingly beautiful. Glossy indigo hide. Lean muscles that would be the envy of any athlete. A massive, powerful, um… wingspan. A mane like midnight thunderclouds. And if you looked into his eyes long enough — which Scotch had only been brave enough to try once — you could see constellations.“I don’t remember any of them lately,” he said.

“We wouldn’t want to, if we were you,” said Artemis. “You may rise, by the way. We do not, on this specific occasion, stand on ceremony.”

“I don’t know what to do,” said Scotch.

“You set out to find out who you are. We think you’ve learned a great deal, have you not?”

Scotch shrugged. “I had sex with a lot of different stallions.” He had decided the night with Wanda had never happened. “It was fun, but I wouldn’t do it again. And I don’t really feel any different.”

Artemis nodded, levitated his beer to his lips, and took a sip.

“And… I miss Blitz. A lot.”

“There are many ways for your story to end, little one. But only one way for you to get to those endings.”

“I, uh, don’t understand?”

“I think you do.”

Scotch gulped. He really didn’t.

Artemis tilted his head back, and emptied the bottle. “Now, if you will excuse us, we are dry. You have our blessing, whatever ending you choose.”

Scotch slugged back the rest of his Glenfilly. He couldn’t see Blitz’s table from where he was. Almost everypony he knew was here, and he still felt so alone. The bodies of strangers swirled around him, a blur of scents and sounds and colors. Artemis wanted him to do something, but woldn’t tell him what. His heart began to beat faster. He was having a hard time breathing. He was about to well and truly panic when he was ambushed by a pink hug in a red dress.

“SCCOOOTTCCCH!” yelled Bubble Berry.

“Ack!” said Scotch.

“I just wanted you to know that you’re wonderful, no matter what, and that all of us love you tons!”

“Um, thank you?”

“Also Blitz feels really bad about something, and he won’t tell me what, but he thinks you’re mad at him so maybe go talk to him?”

Scotch blinked. That was probably what Artemis had meant he should do. Why didn’t he think of that?

Bubble Berry kissed him full on the lips, leaving a smear of lipstick behind. “Okay, gotta sing now. Enjoy the show!”

Pinkie was already caressing the stand mic, and the Conquerors were behind her, ’woo woo’ing and rocking their hips slowly.

“I’ve never seen your eyes so wide. I’ve never seen your appetite quite this occupied. Elsewhere is your feast of love, I know…”

Bubble climbed up on the stage and took up the male vocals.

“Long ago we agree to keep it light, but let’s be married one more night. It’s light, light enough to let it go.”

Scotch felt like he might start to panic again at any moment. He wriggled towards the pegasus-only table on the far side of the room. But by the time he got there, Rainbow Blitz was gone. Scotch sat down, and slammed his face against the table, making Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash’s glasses jump.

Fluttershy yelped, and grabbed Rainbow Dash’s foreleg.

“Sorry,” said Scotch. “I can go wallow in agony somewhere else, if you want.”

“Boy, I don’t know what you two fought about, but Blitz took off in a blur the moment he saw you coming,” said Rainbow Dash.

Scotch made a noise like a strangling duck. Fluttershy glared at Dash, and slipped away from her marefriend to hug Scotch gently. “Don’t worry, honey.”

“Yeah, Blitz just has commitment phobia,” said Dash. “Been there. Done that.”

Scotch opened one eye. “How did you get through it?”

“In our own way,” said Fluttershy. “You have to work it out between you. You’re different ponies. Well, sort of.”

Dash took a gulp of cider. “You should chase him. I’m guessing he’ll probably go slow enough for you to catch up.”

–––

Blitz sat on a raincloud, hunched over, drifting away from Sugarcube Corner. When it started to sputter dry, he gave it a kick, and it started pouring again. Scotch flapped down to sit next to him. He scooted over to make room.

“Wanda quit the EWS before lunch,” said Blitz.

“Typical,” said Scotch.

“She was surprised it was hard work! Of course it’s hard work! If it were easy, we wouldn’t get all those cool benefits! I went to bat for her, and she just threw it away!”

“She’s like that.”

“How can somepony so awful be related to somepony so wonderful?”

Scotch blinked. “You mean like my mom?”

Blitz punched him in the side. “I don’t deserve you.”

“No. I don’t deserve you.”

Blitz squeezed his eyes shut. Tears welled up. “I wanted you for so long. Then I had you, and I started trying to push you away the first chance I got. And then when you came back, I pushed harder.”

“I forgive you,” said Scotch.

“Faust! I made you buck your sister. What else do I have to do to you? Rape you? Kill your dogs?”

Scotch felt a brief chill in his heart. Then he heard barking and a pony swearing in the distance. The dogs were fine. “You’d… um… you’d have a really hard time raping me. I’d pretty much do anything you asked me to.”

“Yeah, you would, wouldn’t you. Maybe you need a pony who won’t actually take advantage of that.” With that, Blitz unfurled his wings and leapt into the sky. “Don’t try to follow me. I saw you with Pink Lady. She’d be good for you. Better than me.” And he was gone.

“Oh, I am so peeved right now,” said Scotch. And he took off after him.

Blitz wasn’t holding back this time. He went high, and he went fast. Blitz had taught Scotch a lot about flying, but it was all he could do to keep Blitz in sight. They flew to altitudes where the air was freezing cold and the wind kept switching directions in sudden gusts and blowing Scotch off course. Huge banks of clouds loomed. From the ground, they looked like distant puffs of cotton. Up in the sky, they were mountains. Blitz banked and climbed, whipping between towers of water vapor. When he saw Scotch was still trying to follow him, he kicked a cloud open and zoomed inside.

“Blitz! Blitz!”

Scotch flapped his wings hard, trying to follow, but the air was too thin. He felt like he was flapping against nothing. He started to fall, and he panicked – he tilted his wings up instinctively, trying to slow down to a speed where he felt more comfortable, and that was the wrong move. He stalled, tumbled, and started to spin. The sky whirled around him. It was like that time Bubble had talked him into going on the roundup ride at the county fair, but he knew this ride would only end with a sudden, sharp stop. He flapped his wings wildly, trying to correct, but it was no use. Scotch clenched his teeth, and shut his eyes. He should have known he was going to die this way.

Suddenly something slammed into him. “Pull your wings in!” shouted Blitz.

“I can’t! I’ll crash!”

“You’ll crash no matter what unless you do what I say! And if you don’t do it RIGHT NOW you’re going to take me down with you!”

Scotch folded his wings. The world lurched, and suddenly he was falling straight. That was an improvement, he guessed. He cracked one eye open, and saw a long, flat bank of clouds rushing up at him. He closed his eyes again, and felt himself slowing. They landed softly. Scotch had never really liked the texture of clouds — they felt like wet wool, to him — but it was solid, and it would do. Blitz often popped wood when he flew too fast. Scotch usually popped wood when Blitz was touching him and they’d landed belly to belly.

“Faust damn it to buck, Scotch, if I ever… Oh. Wow.”

Scotch ground his hips up. Shaft to shaft. Ball to ball. Nerve endings sang.

Blitz gritted his teeth. “I am trying to say something serious to you, and you are frotting me! That’s not nice!”

Scotch grinned. “I’m kind, not nice.”

And he grabbed Blitz by the mane and kissed him. Blitz’s hips started to churn, making the cloud they were on wobble drunkenly across the sky. Scotch gasped into Blitz’s mouth, his much larger cock grinding against his friend’s. His coltfriend’s. “Rainbow… Rainbow Blitz is my coltfriend. And I love him.”

“What? I’m right here!”

Scotch came, his spunk soaking the feathery fluff of Blitz’s chest. Blitz snarled, and humped up to Scotch’s mouth. Almost as soon as he felt the warmth of freind’s mouth around him, he came. “Oh! Oh. Oh, wait. I get it. Butterscotch is my coltfriend, and I love him.” He wriggled back, pulling his cock out of Scotch’s mouth with a pop, and leaned down for a kiss. Scotch still had a mouthful of cum.

“Because he is nasty as fuck,” said Blitz, his own cum dripping from his chin.

They both laughed, and then they had sex again. And again.

———

The animals had already returned. Dogs swirled around them, sniffing and licking, as they came through the door. Blitz had to keep pushing them away from the cum dried in his chest fur. Lilith bounded up and hugged Scotch around the neck, then cuffed him upside the head.

“I know, Lilith. I’m sorry. I’d say I was never going to leave you alone with Blitz for that long again, but I’d be lying.”

Lilith sighed.

Wanda was sitting on the couch, hooves folded in front of her, looking at the floor. Blitz looked at Scotch. Scotch looked at Blitz, and then at Wanda, and then headed for the door.

“Get back here!” said Blitz, grabbing him by the neck and hauling him over to the couch. “You!” he said, pointing a hoof at Wanda. “And you!” He pointed at Scotch, who was squirming against his other hoof. “Make up. I’m not having a rift between siblings on my conscience.”
They looked away from each other. Hooves were shuffled. Blitz sighed. “I haven’t got all day. Wanda — what are you sorry for. I statements only.”

“I’m sorry I seduced you,” said Wanda. “I… love you. In a very unsisterly way. And... you know, being with you reminded me of being safe at home, and not working at a hard job in a strange city and being scared I’ll buck up all the time.” She gulped, and risked a glance at Scotch.

“And I’m sorry I freaked out about it. I felt guilty and I took it out on you two even though it was my decision to join in.” Scotch sighed. “I love you in a very unbrotherly way, but I think you need to learn to stand on your own four hooves.”

Blitz pulled them both together into a hug. “Okay. That’s great. We can have breakfast now. I’m starving.”

“Um, Blitz,” croaked Scotch, “Wanda still doesn’t have a job.”

Wanda tried to blink back tears. Blitz facehoofed. “I can probably get you back on the weather force.”

Wanda took a deep breath, and shook her head. “I… am going back to Manehattan. And I am going to try to get my job back.”

Scotch hugged her. “Good luck, little sis.”

Blitz noticed there were noises coming from the kitchen. “Wanda, who let you in here, anyway?”

“Soup’s up!” said Eris, bursting through the kitchen door holding a half-dozen steaming platters in a half-dozen arms. She set out haggis, cabbage soup, pineapple upside-down cake, bacon, orchid stew, and turkish coffee on coffee table.

Blitz knocked back a tiny cup of coffee and gagged. “What the hell was that?”

“You’re not supposed to drink the sludgy part on the bottom,” said Scotch, breaking up strips of bacon to feed to the dogs. “This wasn’t anyone we knew, was it, Eris?”

“Oh, I’d never! Sorry I missed the party. Did anything interesting happen? Heartbreak? Humiliation? Gruesome accidents?”

“I don’t know. We checked out early.”

“That’s not like you,” said Eris, raising an eyebrow. “It’s like Scotch, though.”

“We had sex,” said Scotch, “and agreed that we’re in love forever.”

Blitz grinned. “We did?”

“That was my interpretation. If I’m wrong, don’t tell me, okay?” Scotch kissed him on the cheek. Blitz laughed and scooped himself a plate of stew. Wanda giggled and rolled her eyes.

“Oh good. You’re such a cute couple. When’s the wedding?” drawled Eris.

Blitz froze, a spoonful of orchids halfway to his mouth.

Scotch shrugged. “Whenever Blitz is ready.”

Blitz laughed. “That might be a little while, okay, buddy?”

Scotch narrowed his eyes. “Eris can officiate, you know. She’s a reverend and/or priestess in six different religions.”

“And captain of my own ship,” she said, pulling a small stack of legal forms out of her chest fur. “Oh, also I’m technically a goddess. I keep forgetting that.”

In a puff of blue feathers, Blitz vanished under the couch.