Author's Note

Hey, look, another stupid fic about my stupid life. Yay.

Hurt

There she was. Sitting with her friends. Laughing.

If only they knew...

Her friends know her as awesome, athletic, speeding, brash,... but they never realize that it's all just a mask. Nothing more. Because on the inside, she is broken. Literally.
There are days where she cries herself to sleep. Though those have grown more often over the past months.

Once again they were at Sweet Apple Acres.

"Hey Rainbow, think ya can beat me?" Applejack teased. They were gonna have another race. Who the hell came up with these iron pony competitions.

"I know so!" She said, being cocky like always. Even though she didn't feel like doing anything at all.

She had to, anyways.

She had always been faster than Applejack. But today just wasn't her day. She lost by four seconds. Which didn't surprise her since she couldn't really go into full speed.
But it surprised her friends.

"Applejack wins!" Spike announced.

Her friends looked confused at the dragon.

"Ah won? Hey, Ah won!" Applejack cheered. Most of her friends cheered for her too.
But one didn't seem to like it.

"Rainbow?" The purple alicorn approached her.

"Huh?"

"What's going on? You've never lost against Applejack in a race."

Think of something.. anything!!!

"Guess today just isn't my lucky day." Dash shrugged.

Twilight cocked an eyebrow.

"And you're not upset about her winning in something you've never lost before?"

"No?"

"Why not?!" Twilight said a bit louder than she intended to. Dash looked away.

"Why should I care? That was one time. Doesn't mean she'll always beat me." Dash said and turned to leave.

"Where are you going?"

"Got some work to do. See you guys around." She said and took off. Her friends said their goodbyes. Twilight still wasn't satisfied though.

Dash landed at her cloud house. She hated lying to her friends, yet it was the only thing she did, it seemed. She sighed as she entered the house.
Ever since Tank didn't wake up from his hibernation, things had gotten even worse.
She used to talk to him about everything. He was like her diary. She could trust him. He never lost a word to Fluttershy.

But now she was just alone in her home again. In this empty house. All on her own.

The front door was like an entrance to a completely different universe.
Outside she had her friends, she wore her mask and lied.
Inside she was herself. Broken. Shattered. Her emotions died a long time ago. She didn't feel happy. She didn't feel sad. She didn't feel anything.

Except for when she felt useless, worthless, unloved. Simply shattered inside. The indescribable feeling of a shattered soul.

She couldn't tell her friends how she felt. What was going on. The truth.

So instead of talking to her friends, she did her talking on her skin.

The first thing she did since entering her house was walking to a certain drawer, not bothering to turn on any lights in the dark house. All her windows were closed because she hated the sunlight. Pegasi could see in the dark pretty well after all.

She opened the cabinet and grabbed a blade with her mouth. Her only friend that would always listen and take her pain away.

Sighing she sat down on the floor and brought the sharp blade to her arm. And pushed it over it, leaving a fresh wound. Blood formed on it and flowed down her hoof.
She did it again.

And again.

And for a moment she wondered why she should stop.

She would rather die on a terminal disease than live any longer in this world that left her so full of pain.
She was an element of harmony. The element of loyalty. And yet she wanted nothing more than to leave. Leave into a world without return.

Why couldn't it just stop already?! Why do I have to suffer?! What did I do to deserve this?! She cried.

She looked down at the fresh and bleeding wounds as tears streamed down her face.

Ponies had fur, so she didn't have to worry about anyone noticing.

Not that anyone would care anyways.

But was she worth dying? She wasn't even sure what's worth to live for.

Sighing again she put the blade back inside and went to wash away the blood. Getting rid of every evidence. Couldn't let her friends know.