Caught Off Guard

by 6flyer

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Princess Luna, Original Character
Length: 1889

A space marine crash-lands in Equestria. Comedy happens.

A Galactic Federation Elite Trooper is flying to his next mission.
He gets hit by an asteroid and crash-lands on a strange planet.
He meets some strange quadrupedal creatures after crashing.
They assume he is hostile, he wants to find some information.
Hilarity ensues.
(Crossover with the Metroid universe, rated Teen for naughty language)
[BEING RE-WRITTEN]

Published 2012-06-23 11:04:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-05 19:03:48 UTC

Chapter 1: Crash Landing

"Identify yourself"
"David Jackson, Galactic Federation, First Lieutenant." Said the man who was stepping into his ship, In Sicarius.
"Welcome back, David." The ship's computer said.
"Yeah, yeah, just bring up the flight map." He was in a very bad mood, owing to the fact that his new mission's briefing did not go over well. Something about the mission being useless and his superiors only giving him the mission because they were sadists. Needless to say, they were not pleased with his accusations.
"Yes sir." A panel with a digitized map of the current galaxy moved out of the console and toward David.
"Right then, set coordinates for Arcterra."
"Yes sir. Shall I activate auto-pilot?"
"Yeah. I need some sleep before I go on this freaking goose chase."

"Yes sir." Came the automated female voice again.

"WARNING. THE SHIP HAS BEEN DAMAGED. REPEAT, THE SHIP HAS BEEN DAMAGED."
"What in the mother of-" David was awoken by the blaring of alarms.
"WARNING. THE SHIP HAS BEEN DAMAGED."
"Ah shite! Computer! Analyze the damage!"
"Analyzing... Complete. The left engine has been crushed by an asteroid."
"Can we fly like this?"
"Negative."
"Fuckin' hell..."
"WARNING. ENTERING THE ORBIT OF AN UNKNOWN PLANET."
"Oh, for fuck's sake..." He turned his gaze to a planet on the left that looked very primitive and natural, with many patches of green and blue scattered across the surface. "Release manual controls!"
"Yes sir." The steering wheel was released from auto-pilot.
He roared, pulling back on the steering wheel as hard as he could, trying to steer the vehicle out of freefal.
"PREPARE FOR CRASH-LANDING."

"DAMMIT!" He released the steering wheel and braced for the crash.

"Hey girls, look at that!" Applebloom was walking with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, when she spotted an oddly shaped meteor fall from the sky.
"Woah! That thing is huge!" Said Scootaloo.
"It looks like it's going to land near the Everfree Forest!" Said Sweetie Belle.
"Do ya know what this means?" Applebloom asked to her friends.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS: METEOR EXAMINERS!" They all shouted together.

"Oh, my head!" David had woken up after the crash. "Computer, are you there?"
"Affirmative. Power levels descending. Estimated time of being online: one minute."
"Can you tell where we are?"
"Negative. Current location is not recorded in the database."
"Okay then, can you examine the status of the sh-" he was cut off by the familiar voice.
"WARNING. Movement detected on radar."
"How many of them?"
"Three, coming from th-" *Zzrt*
"Computer? Hello? Shit, power must be gone."
Feeling that he should get out of the crater his ship had made to asses the situation, he started climbing the crater wall. When his head had become level with the surface, he found himself staring into the faces of three multicolored quadrupedal creatures, a white one with a horn, an orange one with wings, and a pale yellow one with a pink bow in it's hair.
"I must have hit my head harder than I thought."
The three creatures looked terrified. "RUN!" Said the one with the horn, and the three creatures scampered.
David just sat there, bewildered. "Did that thing just talk?"
David crawled out of his ship's crater, staring off where the creatures had ran to.

"This is just weird." He said as he started to walk along the creature's paths. "Guess I had better find some sort of civilization."

After a while, David had found a somewhat large town. "Whoa. Didn't expect this!"
He decided after a bit of thinking that he probably should not just wander through town, hoping that he would find a figure of authority, or for that matter, hoping that the creatures wouldn't panic at the sight of him. Instead, he sneaked around the town, gathering information. After sneaking around for a while, he found out that he was in a place called "Equestria", the creatures were called "Ponies", they were quite as intelligent as humans, they could speak very clearly, and the ones with horns could use some sort of, he couldn't believe he was even thinking it, magic.
"Guess that's all the info for today." He said to himself, a little too loudly.
"Huh? Hey girls, did you hear that? A purple one with a horn said.
"I didn't hear anything, darling." Said another horned one, this time white.
"I did! It sounded like it was coming from over there! *gasp* MAYBE ITS A NEW PONY WE CAN MEET, AND I CAN THROW THEM A 'WELCOME TO PONYVILLE' PARTY!!!" A very hyperactive pink one said.
Oh balls, now I need to get out of here. He thought, and he started creeping towards an alley. Unfortunately for him, a smaller pinkish pony with a tiara screamed, as she saw him going towards the alley.

"CRAP! So much for stealth!" He shouted to himself, as he started sprinting away.

"Whew, I think I lost them." David said as he ducked into an alley, about 30 minutes after he had been noticed. He waited a bit until a pony spoke up.
"Can you find it anywhere, Fluttershy?" The voice of the blue pony said.
"Um, no, I can't see it anywhere..." The voice of the yellow one said, getting increasingly quieter.
"While we're here, does anypony have any clue as t' what that thing was?" Said the orange one.
"No idea, AJ. But the only thing I want to find out is how the hay could it evade me!?" The blue one spoke up again, this time with a little anger in her voice.
He caught a glance of the three ponies searching the area.

Time to move. He thought to himself.

David was moving at a brisk, yet stealthy walk. "I really need to think about what just happened" He said to himself.
"Hopefully I wont meet another of those ponies again. I already seemed to cause a citywide uproar."
He saw a forest on the edge of the town and thought it would make a good hiding place.
After looking around in the forest, he found a cave, which he settled down in. David knew that he really needed some sleep. Before he slept, however, he saw something in the distance on the side of the mountain.

"Hmm, looks like some kind of fortress." He thought that if anywhere, that fortress would be the place that a figure of authority would be, and decided to go there after he slept.

"Ah swear, Applejack, that's what we saw!"
"So, you're sayin', that ya saw a meteor fall from the sky, then ya went to see it, and then ya saw some sort of monster climb out of the hole?" Applejack asked her little sister and her friends.
"Yeah! Then it said something, and then we ran off to town to tell somepony!" Scootaloo spoke up.
"Hmm... That, erm, 'monster' may have been the thing we saw in town about an hour ago." Twilight Sparkle said thoughtfully. "Can you remember what it said?"
"Uh... It said it hit it's head or something." Sweetie Belle piped in.
"Hmm... This is just strange... According to my studies, there has never been any recordings of aliens or anything similar." Twilight Sparkle muttered to herself.
"Well, shouldn't we be trying to find it? I mean, who KNOWS what kind of damage it could do." Rarity suggested.
"Ah agree with Rarity. We should be tryin' to find it before it does something dangerous." Applejack added.
"Right then. We're going to find the monster, or whatever it is." Twilight agreed.
"OH, can we go too?!" Scootaloo asked eagerly.
"Well... I guess you can, since you know where the meteor is, and you were the first ones to see the creature, but only to the meteor." Twilight considered.
"YES!" Scootaloo shouted.
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS: MONSTER TRACKERS!!!" Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo yelled.

"Ahm never gonna get used to that." Applejack said as she winced.

David woke with a start. "No, I don't think checking in that cave is a good idea. We don't know what might be in there." A voice said. David hurriedly went to the darkest corner of the cave, as he had no desire to be chased around for half an hour again. Looking out, he saw the six ponies that chased him in town.

Great. Here we go again.

"No, I don't think checking in that cave is a good idea. We don't know what might be in there." Twilight said as they passed by.
"Well, we may not know what's in there, but shouldn't that be another reason t' check? Applejack replied.
"Hmm... You may be right, but still, there might be some dangerous creatures in there." Twilight considered.
"Uhh, Twilight? You do realize we have Fluttershy, right?" Rainbow Dash smirked.

"Well... Ok, we'll check the cave." Twilight finally agreed.

"Oh, piss." David whispered to himself, silently cursing himself for leaving his gun in the ship.
"What was that?" A voice said from the mouth of the cave.
Why am I so freaking stupid!? He had forgotten about the echoes that caves make. "Well, time to run." He muttered to himself.

"You all can hear that, ri-" The purple pony had been cut off by David sprinting past her, making a mad dash for the crashed ship, and his gun.

"Whoa!" Twilight had been stunned by the metal thing running past her vision.
"Oh no you don't!" Rainbow Dash had shouted, and she took off on hot pursuit.
After flying for only about a few seconds, with her friends not too far behind, Rainbow dash had spotted the metal creature.
"You're mine!" Rainbow said.
"Not if I can help it!" Rainbow dash was taken aback. That thing can talk!? Shaking her head, she focused on catching him.
After about a minute of flying she had almost caught up to him. A few more seconds and they were out of the forest, and she was almost upon him.
"GOTCHA!" She said as she tackled him.
"ARGH!" He let out a grunt as they both went tumbling. After a bit of struggling and fighting, they had stopped tumbling and she had pinned him down.
"NOW you're mine!" She said while standing on his chest. They had almost tumbled into the crater of the ship.
"I don't think so!" He said as he brought up his legs and kicked her off of him, rolled over, started sprinting again, and finally dove into the crater.
Rainbow Dash had been hurled about 15 feet back, and was coughing from both the kick, and the fall, and the rest of the ponies had caught up.
"Rainbow Dash! Are you alright!?" Shouted everyone almost simultaneously.

"Yeah, I'm *Cough* fine." Rainbow dash had gotten up with a lot of difficulty and said with fire in her eyes, "I'm gonna give that thing the beating of its LIFE!"

David had finally gotten to his ship and started looking frantically in the wreckage for anything useful. After about a minute, though it felt like much less, he had found his gun, plus some spare supplies. "Finally! Now I can fight back!" He crawled out of the crater, and just in time, because those ponies were gaining on him fast. "Time to test out my firepower."