Breathing This Great Huge Thing

Nurse Firm stepped off the train with Bristles in tow, holding hef by the arm. Nurse Firm was a dull pink earthpony with a white mane and tail, wearing a plain white shirt with plain gray pants and a plain brown backpack. Bristles, also an earthpony, didn’t wear any clothes at all—like the majority of the ponies flooding the station.  But hez cutiemark came close to being hez clothing; it covered hez whole body. Colors of paint all over hef sweeping lines of graphite-gray across hez chest and abdomen, charcoal black over hez arms and legs; painting knives blooming from hez back, painbrushes, too, in hez face, sticks of pastels, pencils, pallets. It all burst from hez hips where hez cutiemark should have been contained. The only place it didn’t crowd into was in the brown mane and tail of hevz, in hez hooves, and hez mouth when it was open. Ze also wore fingerless compression gloves that sucked hez muscles together from the hand to nearly the elbow.

Ze fidgeted as Nurse Firm pulled hef through the crowd, hez eyes darting and sinking into the sun-drenched world around hef, trying to claw up all of the detail in every tiny thing. Hez fingers itched, and Firm shifted her grip as hez arms arcked and the hands scribbled quickly in the sketchbook ze held, gushing out a graphite train station as they walked.

Nurse Firm tried to smile at the ponies as they past, and as Bristles continued to look only for the sake of drawing. By the time they’d squeezed through the crowd and made it to the streets, ze’d inscribed beauty into ten pages.

“Do you remember where we’re going?” Nurse Firm asked hef, to give hef something more normal to think about.

“Princess,” was all ze responded, rapidly crosshatching the face of a pony ze’d past a few moments ago.

“Princess Twilight, that’s right. Do you remember why?”

Hez hands skipped and started sketching the figure of a house near them; putting circles and shadows in the background that the house did not have, but ze felt it needed. “To stop.”

“That’s right—to help. To help you stop when you need to stop.”

Ze glanced up sharply, and around, hand still moving over the page, nearly as if looking for an escape route. But finding none, and not being able to focus on it, the page drew hez mind back again. Ze continued working on the house as one hoof somehow appeared in front of the other and the town moved by too quickly for hef to get it all down.

The crystal castle came up to them slowly and heavily, inspiring Bristles with every colored-spiked glint from the sunlight. “Sharp, sharp beauty,” ze mumbled. Ze flipped to a new page and started on a new image. Up the steps and to the door, ze kept drawing.

Nurse Firm knocked, and after a moment of appreciating the detail in the crystal door, Twilight appeared and let them both in. Bristles stared, and Nurse Firm bowed while saying, “Good morning, Princess Twilight.” She’d expected Twilight to be dressed in the royal regalia of her stature, but she wasn’t wearing anything at all.

Twilight motioned for them to come in, “Hello. You must be Firm Clay, it’s nice to meet you.”

“You can just call me Nurse Firm, please.” They walked inside.

As they did, Bristles saw fully Twilight’s wings, and the interior of the castle; it overwhelmed her. “Ahhh, ahh—ahh!”

Nurse Firm turned quickly, and held on to Bristles by hef shoulders. Hef wide eyes spun from wall to Twilight to wall. Hef hands started shaking, and hef breathing came too fast.

“Sit!” Nurse Firm commanded, pulling hez downward. “Sit and draw it out. Go on. No, no,” she pulled hez away from facing the confused Twilight and the long hallway, and pushed hez face into the corner of the foyer. She slung the backpack off her shoulders, and started rooting around in it while Bristles set hez notebook on the ground and added the interior of the castle to hez earlier sketch—in a sort of feat of cubism—with shaking fingers. “You can have your colors, here.” She handed hef hez set of pastels, and ze took two in hez left hand, and continued to use hez right hand for the pencil.

“Is ze alright?”

“Ze’s okay. Don’t look for now, just draw,” she said to hef, who had turned a bit to peek again. “Ze is just overwhelmed—it happens sometimes when ze sees a lot of new things. Can’t decide what to draw. The castle and you—you’re the first alicorn ze’s seen in person—it will just take a moment for hez to process it all, and ze’ll want to make you into a proper piece.”

“Oh. So you weren’t exaggerating in your letter when you said ze really draws everything.”

“It’s why I have to be here. Ze won’t even sleep on her own—ze’d draw until ze died from exhaustion or dehydration.”

After a moment, they both noticed Bristle’s arms ran outside of the page, and the color leaked from hez fingers into the marble.

“Bristles, no!” Nurse Firm jumped forward and pushed Bristles’s hands back toward the saturated paper. “Don’t draw on the floor; you remember this.”

“I—move! I need to—more space, no more space, I need more space—“ As Bristles and Nurse Firm struggled, Nurse Firm turned around to Twilight. “I thought this might happen, do you have the canvases I sent you?”

“Yes, they’re upstairs though. You don’t need to worry about the floor, I can just magic it—“

“I appreciate it, Princess,” she said, standing up. With visible effort, Bristles forced hefself into only occasionally continuing on outside the paper. “But I can’t let hef think ze can get away with it.” she took off her shirt and her bra and handed them to Twilight. “Could you take this, and lead us upstairs?”

“Of course. Do you want me to wash these, or..?”

“Just hold them, please. Bristles,” she said, pulling hef slowly to a standing position, “Come on, we’re going to go upstairs. There’s room for you to draw there, okay? Can you make it?”

Twitching and staring directly at Twilight, “I have to get it out, to get it out, to out, needs space.”

“Alright, you can do it. I’ve got your notebook,” She bent down and picked it up along with the pastels. But after it not having enough space for hef, ze didn’t want it now. Hez arms and hands twitched; gripping like vices over the supplies trapped in hez fingers.

“It’s this way,” Twilight said, leading slowly down the hall.

Nurse Firm urged Bristles forward, but after only a few steps, ze locked up, shaking and unable to walk. She moved in as if to hug hef, then scooped hez up fire-pony style, and turned to follow Twilight.

Twilight was about to ask why Nurse Firm had taken her shirt off, but as they stepped forward in front of her, she saw Bristles, still excited and jumpy, with the pencil in zev mouth, using both hands to send streaks of pastel down Nurse Firm’s back.

They quickly made their way upstairs, and into what might have originally been a conference room. There was only a small table in it now, with three chairs, and the floor wide and open with a huge, ten hoof by fifteen hoof canvas laid out. A few more leaned against the wall.

Bristles entered the room backwards, but Nurse Firm turned around to set hez down. As soon as ze saw the canvas, ze scrambled to it, with just enough presence of mind to grab the set of pastels from Nurse Firm.

Twilight sat on one of the chairs, and watched Bristles lean onto the canvas to start drawing. Nurse Firm sat down next to her and accepted back her clothes.  “I’ll have to wash the pastels out before I put these back on.” She laid them in her lap. “You can see why we’re looking for a cure.”

“Yes. I’ve read all I can find on it—so far as I know this is the first documented case of fully developed cutieous-studiummania in nearly eighty years.”

“That is part of why it’s been such an uphill battle. We came to you for your expertise in magic, as well as in friendship, before we move on. Hez disease is caused by magic, and ze has trouble making friends.”

“Has ze made many?”

Nurse firm shook her head. “Not real ones. Ze is very respected in the art world—hez paintings and all provide us with income. They’re beautiful because of how much ze practices. But ze has not gotten close to anyone.”

Looking at Bristles, consumed by hez cutie-mark and furiously rubbing pastels into the canvas, Twilight asked, “This is definitely a magical ailment, but do you think ze would be just as infatuated with it if ze was normal?”

“I’d have to say fairly passionate, at least. But it couldn’t be to the point that ze is now.”

“Hmm. I’m sorry to hear bout hef having no friends.”

“Ze just can’t keep them; they try, but the only thing in the world that ze cares about is drawing. That talent—that fervor from the mark mania—has consumed everything else in hez life.”

“It’s amazing to see that kind of passion. I’ve always heard being so ardent about something be romanticized, and never thought it could backfire like this. I would say that I’m passionate about magic and friendship and studying them, and I know I’ve missed a few meals and nights of sleep, but I don’t think I would ever stop eating or sleeping altogether for them.”

“It’s a blessing and a curse, I suppose.”

“I understand.” She noticed the damaged shoes on hez hooves as ze turned from her for a moment. “Does ze ever wear anything besides horseshoes?”

“Only in the winter, otherwise ze hides art supplies on hefself and draws on hez clothes. And even when it’s cold out, I have to wrestle hef into hez coat. Depending on what time we depart, we’ll both be going to get reshod today or tomorrow.”

“Hm. Well, would you like me to start running tests?”

“What do you have planned?”

It was nothing invasive, just some spells to try out for a start. Bristles glanced occasionally at Twilight as she stood, casting magic and charms around hef.

“I’m just getting a general feel for hef aura,” she said as she began, “It’s ridiculously strong with active magic—though obviously not from a spell but from the disorder.”

She tried some counter spells, and a few things she’d read about. Bristles kept drawing, and besides jumping as if startled once, nothing happened.

At the end of the day, Twilight felt tired and sweaty from using magic, and Nurse Firm and Bristles needed to eat. Ze’d finished hez piece on the canvas, and became content now to turn back to the sketchbook as they got ready to leave.

The piece ze’d finished held beauty in abundance. It was a full, gorgeous, portrait of Twilight herself, standing in the air with her arms outstretched, seven severed halos around her purple horn, and seven around her wings that stretched wide out and ran off the canvas. Ze’d rendered everything very well, and the anatomy of Twilight, from her glowing eyes to her dangling hooves, was close to photo-realistic yet artistically impressionist and glorified with whimsical lighting and colors; in the background so was the long hallway of the crystal palace. Nurse Firm let her keep the piece, and they scheduled another time to come back and continue trying to treat the disorder.

“I’ve got some friends who are very good at magic,” Twilight said, walking them back to the front doors. “Sunset, Starlight, Sunburst, Moondancer, Zecora—I’ll send them a note, if you don’t mind; I think they might be able to help us.”

“Anything you think will help, Princess, we are willing to do.”

“Right. For now, try avoiding anything that has a heavy amount of magic usage, like teleporting services or attending a magic show, or walking near a construction site that uses unicorn magic. I’d like to see if it will help at all—I detected quite a bit of magical residue, and it might be inflaming hez condition.”

“We can do that easily enough. Is there anything else?”

“Well… not that I can think of now. Good luck, Nurse Firm. It was nice to meet you.” They shook hands, and Twilight turned to Bristles, who busily worked in hez sketchbook. “It was nice to meet you too, Bristles.”

At the sound of hez name, ze looked up for a brief second. Ze reached out a hand, past Twilight’s extended one to shake, and gently gripped Twilight’s horn.

“Uhh.”

After a second, ze let go, satisfied. Ze looked like ze would have aimed for a wing next, but ze had more drawing to do.

“Sorry about that,” Nurse firm said. “Ze usually dosen’t—“

“It’s fine; don’t worry about it. Oh, the bathroom is right down the hall here, you can brush the pastel out there.”

After they left, Twilight rubbed her horn. It felt a little weird, but that was probably in her mind, she decided. She walked back upstairs and drew herself a hot bath, still thinking about it all. Starlight had left on vacation to catch up with Sunburst some more, and Moondancer and Sunset lived far away. She would write them about it, but for now she’d have to rely on local talent. But the more she mulled it over, the more it seemed like Zecora would be the most likely to have an answer.