Celie the Cake Slut

by Prince Conjure

Rating: mature
Tags: Princess Luna, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Sex, Anthro, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2590

Celestia is addicted to cake, and will do anything to get a slice.

Celestia's addiction to cake has caused the Equestrian Princesses to hit a rough patch financially. To make up for it, she has resorted to doing anything, although she stills buys cake with the money she raises. Even Luna steps in to stop her sister's reckless habits!

So Celestia uses her very potent method of persuasion.

Contains the following: Wincest, Futanari, narration by a mildly annoying, but wildly enjoyable narrator (me), and cake. Lots and lots of cake.

Published 2016-07-19 05:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-07-19 05:10:01 UTC

Tia the Sugar Whore

Equestria is like any other place: it needs money to survive. Jobs and such keeps the money in society circulating and keeps everyone happy. However, there are people who have fallen on hard times, and cannot afford certain things. They are stuck to what they need and not what they want.

But, if you get too comfortable with the “want”, it becomes a “need”. An addiction begins to flower. Everyone is prone to addiction since it does not discriminate against anything. Be it Unicorn mage, Earth Pony farmer, or the Princess of Equestria herself.

Celestia was addicted to cake, and she had made no attempts to hide it. Her problem—as people normally called it—had cost the Princesses a fortune in bits. They were so indebted to The Cheesecake Factory that Celestia had no problem being called their bitch. In fact, one particularly rude and snarky employee dubbed her a “cakeslut” and the name has stuck ever since.

Luckily too, because one does not just call the Princess of Equestria a cakeslut and not get smote.

So, with a large debt and her insatiable need for the sugary pastry, the princess set off to find new ways to raise money to feed herself. Carwashes, fundraisers, carwash fundraisers. You name it, she’s done it.

But there was always one thing that she was particularly good at that she was particularly fond of. She was hard pressed to find a reason why she was so good at sucking dick for money. The only reason she could think of was the fact that when in the process of the act, she would imagine that she was eating cake.

Yeah, that’s probably it.

”Smells like cake…” The princess took the shaft of the random civilian in her hand and looked up with sexy eyes. She slowly licked the bottom of the shaft to the top of the head, and lingered there for a few moments, making the entire thing twitch. Then, she shoved it back in her mouth. ”Feels like cake. It definitely feels like cake…” With a final heave, the civilian spurt a small short burst of cum down the Princess’ throat. She swallowed what shot out and even graciously licked the cum dribbling out of the head until it was all gone.

What an example of grace and beauty, am I right?

“Oh my… that was...” said the civilian. “That was so good.”

“Yes, yes…” said Celestia, wiping her mouth clean of any excess. “That will 750.”

“750!?” exclaimed the civilian. “But you said it was 500 for a facial—”

“Then you made me swallow,” she said, fixing her long, pink, flowing hair. Ever since the fall, her rainbow dye ran out. She’s had to bum some from Rainbow Dash. At the moment, though, she hadn’t applied any. “That’s when the price jumped up to 750.”

“I didn’t make you do anything! I’m not paying a bit over 500!” The man pulled out a piece of paper, wrote a few things, then shoved it at the princess. She glanced at the paper and then back at him.

“You know, I may have just given you a blowjob—” she grabbed his wrist and jutted her butt at his pelvis. She then judo flipped the shit out of him. He wasn’t ready for that. No one expects to be judo flipped. He was winded as he hit the floor. “I’m still a princess. I will not hesitate to banish you to the moon.”

“Okay, okay! I’ll write the check! Just let me go.” Celestia smiled and let the man go. He quickly revised his mistake. When he handed her the paper, she took it and slipped it in her pocket.

“Good,” she started to walk off, then turned back. “Oh yeah. Make sure to keep this hush or there’s a lot more where that came from. Er… judo flips, I mean.” Celestia took off, joining the crowd of people in the streets. Finally out of the constrained space, she found room to spread the wings on her back then take off.

Flying above the thousands of people in Canterlot, Celestia found it safe to check her pocket and go over the goods. She licked her lips as she saw the amount she received. 750 straight. That was gonna get her at least one 3 layer cake.

She smiled as she made her way to the bank. After getting the money out, it was straight to The Cheesecake Factory.

“Just one more cake,” promised Celestia. “Then I’ll think about saving the poor.”

“What do you mean!?” exclaimed Celestia to her sister, Luna. Apparently, Celestia was super easy to read. Luna and a few Lunar guards stood in front of The Cheesecake Factory, letting normal people pass, but waiting for the infamous cakeslut herself. “This is not the time for jokes!”

“Good thing then,” said Luna, as unmoving and adamant as ever. “Because I am not joking. Turn in and let me escort you back to the castle.”

“Let’s make a deal then,” said Celestia. “If you let me pass, I may be able to help you with something.”

“You can’t help me more than breaking your addiction,” said Luna.

“I assure you, I can.” Luna looked in confusion as Celestia’s smiling face slowly looked down at her pelvic area. After a few suggestive winks and hand signs, Luna finally got what her sister was hinting at.

And it excited her a little more than she would like to admit.

“You are a princess!” said Luna. “Using such… body language in public. Please. Pull yourself together!” Celestia knew that she had Luna. She advanced towards her sister, then grabbed her by the wrist. Luna froze in place.

“Fine. Have it your way, Princess Luna.” Luna tried to escape her sister’s grasp but was unable. Apparently eating mounds and mounds of cake gave her super strength. Or diabetes. Most likely the latter. “We will be returning without you guards. Please, make your way to the castle alone.”

“W-wait—” It was already too late. Celestia’s magic had enveloped both Luna and herself, whisking them away to Luna’s private abode. When Luna found out where she was, her heart started beating very fast. She felt Celestia let go of her hand.

“Shall we begin negotiations?” asked Celestia. Luna backed away from her and bumped into the bed, sitting down in the process. Celestia looked at her sister in her awkwardly cute face and couldn’t help herself from being amused. “Firstly, I have to say. You were dressed quite loosely for a princess yourself.” Luna looked down at herself, wearing a navy blue sweater that revealed her right shoulder. Her bottom half was covered in black jeans and she was wearing a new pair of shoes: black as well.

Princess of the Night, everybody. Wearing dark clothes in the middle of Spring.

“What about this is loose?” Before the question really left her lips, her sister was working on her jeans’ button using her magic. Once it was unbuttoned, Luna grabbed the waistline of the jeans.

“They’re loose right there,” said Celestia with a chuckle. Luna got up and fiddled with the button.

“Leave,” said Luna, the embarrassment showing on her face. Celestia moved towards her quickly, taking Luna’s hand on her own. Luna was too confused and embarrassed to react in time. Luna’s pants dropped to the ground and revealed her panties.

“Ooh. Luna.” Luna’s panties were black with no lace: a very suggestive color and style as far as Celestia was concerned. Luna made a poor attempt to hide it and only made herself look ridiculous. Celestia got on her knees, bringing Luna’s panties down with her. “Were you expecting someone today?”

“I-I just f-felt like it…” said Luna, squirming away from Celestia. “Hey, a-aren’t you supposed to do this to guys? A-and people who aren’t your sister?”

“I don’t discriminate. And neither does my tongue.” Celestia showed Luna her tongue, which sent passion through her sister’s cheeks. “Besides. I’ve been saving up magic for something special for you, Luna.”

“To what are you referring?” Luna fell back on the bed, her body being pinned down. She fought for a few seconds, then let herself relax. “What are you doing?”

“Something you’ll enjoy, I’m sure.” Celestia primed herself for the spell, then tilted her horn towards Luna’s cunt, inserting all 8 inches of it inside. As her sister’s stalwart horn pushed further into her sticky insides, Luna fought against Celestia’s magic. Her lungs felt full from trying not to scream in pleasure. She didn’t want to give her sister that satisfaction. Her lungs couldn’t hold out, however, and caused Luna to moan loudly. Celestia couldn’t help but laugh, making her horn shake. “If you like this, you’ll love what’s about to come. And no, I don’t mean you.”

Luna didn’t want to admit how right her sister was.

“S-Silence…” Slowly, Celestia began to withdraw, careful not to hurt her sister’s insides. After she fully left Luna’s pussy, Luna felt something slowly start to happen. The skin inside her passage began to pull together, while more skin started to bubble up and push out. After a few seconds, Luna was released and allowed to see the result of Celestia’s magic.

A bona fide 9-inch wiener.

While Luna stared at her newfound shaft (and marveled at the weird sensation between her legs) Celestia had put her hair up and was in the process of wrapping it in a ponytail (horse pun). For something this large, she’d have to make sure her hair didn’t get dirty.

“Sister… what have you done?” asked Luna. “I’m… I have a…”

“A dick, yes.” Luna frowned at her sister’s use of language. “Oh come on. What should I call it? Penis? Sausage? Meat rocket?”

“N-Never mind. I suppose dick is fine…” she tried to get up, but Celestia was in her way. “However, that’s the only thing that is fine with this situation! Please change me back.”

“Oh, relax.” Celestia gripped the shaft of her sister and started rubbing it slowly. Luna grabbed the sheets of her bed and tried to keep herself mute. Celestia smiled at Luna’s efforts and kicked it up a notch. Putting the entire girth of the head in her mouth was difficult, but she managed, She started to slowly make her way down to the base, but Luna suddenly grabbed the back of Celestia’s head and pushed her further in forcefully. It took a lot of power not to gag.

“Oh god...Celie.” She hummed in pleasure, feeling every bit of Celestia’s mouth as she went deeper in. “Fuck, that’s good.”

Celestia wanted to ask ”What happened to using bad language” but was quite preoccupied with Luna’s forceful advance. Finally getting used to her situation, Celestia pleasured her most advanced techniques like The Screwdriver and the Fireman’s Carry.

Err… or maybe these are just wrestling moves. I’m not 100% sure anymore.

It was only a matter of time before Luna crumbled under the pleasure and let her cum spurt all over Celestia’s insides. Celestia herself was impressed. She’d never had so much liquid going down her throat at once, and she’s almost drowned before. Once she was done shooting her cum down her sister’s throat, Luna removed herself from Celestia, giving her time to swallow what Luna had given her. After swallowing what she could, Celestia coughed to the side, letting some excess cum soak the carpet in Luna’s room.

Luna looked down at her sister, embarrassed and tired. She couldn’t help but feel unsatisfied, though. This time, instead of letting her sister take the reins (horse pun) she herself would take her sister by surprise. She grasped her in her magic and lifted her a few feet into the air.

“What are you doing, Luna?” asked Celestia, struggling against the magic. “Are we.. going to get cake?”

“You've made a mistake, sister,” said Luna, dragging Celestia to the windows. She opened the shades, letting the light flood into the room. Finally, she put Celestia in front of the window and pushed her up against it. When Celestia was thoroughly confused, Luna leaned in. “You gave me the power. Now, you’re mine.”

“I did not anticipate this development…” said Celestia as her jeans were ripped down and her panties rolled down. “But it seems… interesting, somewhat.”

“And you want to know why I picked the window?” asked Luna, spreading her sister’s lips to show off her delicate pink. “Because I want you to imagine a random pegasus or a normal unicorn looking up at their princess as she’s fucked absolutely senseless.”

“Seriously, what happened to the no bad language look you gave me earli—” Celestia’s own moan of pleasure interrupted her speech. She pressed hard against the glass as her sister entered her ruthlessly. Unlike Luna, Celestia had no problem echoing her moans through the entire room. Good thing she paid extra to get the room soundproofed when she built the castle.

Once she was fully inside, Luna reached up to Celestia’s own shirt and lifted it off of her. She unfastened her bra and let it fall to the floor, letting her large bust spill out. As she played with the left breast, she placed her right hand on Celestia’s hip and pulled almost all the way out. Then she rammed it in again, a loud squelch coming from her soaking outstretched womanhood. Small drops of vaginal fluid hit the carpet as Luna started to move faster. With every thrust, Celestia whined and groaned in pleasure. Her breast kept smashing against the glass, the nipples fully hardened, which Luna took advantage of with the other breast.

But, this scene could only last so long. Lacking a condom or any other kind of inhibitor, Luna released her full load right inside Celestia. She could feel her womb quickly fill and flood after a few seconds. The excess cum fell onto the carpet and soaked it. Luna’s heavy breathing tickled Celestia’s neck.

After that, Celestia passed out. You know it’s good sex when you’re fucked to sleep. She didn’t know how long she would be out, or what the kingdom would do until she woke up. All she cared about was the ecstasy that she was feeling at that moment.

Oh, and cake. She always cared about cake.

Celestia woke up a few hours later, in the deep of night. Apparently, drained of magical energy, Luna had to set the sun while she still could at 4 PM. But to Celestia, it was night time. She sat up and rubbed her eyes free of sleep then yawned. She was going to go use the bathroom, but she noticed a small platter on her nightstand. It was donned with a small slice of cake and a small card. Against her instinct, Celestia grabbed the card first and opened it to reveal the words.

Dear, Celestia,

Eat up, my little cakeslut.

Sincerely, Luna

Usually, this would make Celestia worried, as Luna seemed to be getting a little too power hungry now that she had a dick. Celestia knew that she had to teach her how to use that dick in a very responsible and… oh, screw it. The only thing she really cared about was the cake in front of her.

It was her favorite: Strawberry Shortcake.

Author's Note

I'm just gonna go out and say that this story is based on my own addiction to cake.

I am a Cakeslut.

I am Mr. Cakeslut Sandwichwhore.