Mind You a Mouthful of Those... Dreadful Slobbers!

by Skylarking the Stargazer

Rating: everyone
Tags: Sweetie Belle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Rarity, Twilight Sparkle, Random, Princess Celestia
Length: 6570

What happens when a fashionista despises the common pony custom of holding things in their mouths? You get a stylish revolution.

Rarity likes being clean, that's a fact, but to the point where she hates seeing other ponies bite on things while carrying them?

Probably not where one might chew off to.

Proofread by Azure Drache and edited by Packel, they were very efficient and kind for helping me out!

Published 2016-10-27 02:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-10-27 02:10:01 UTC

Schtahp!

Author's Note

First time doing a story on Rarity, hope it works out well!

Speaking of "well", is not always revolutionary.

Colicrox: Clorox and colic combined. Colic is the leading cause of death among horses, where blockages in the intestines often lead to dysfunction in the digestive system.

Schtahp!

"Schtahp!"

Rarity screamed after shooting up straight from the bed. She checked her mouth to see whether she had a mouthful of something when she said that.

'No Rarity, you couldn't have said something so rural and, unprofessional.' She thought, 'I'm pretty sure that was just a wretched dream about goobers coming out alive and trying to devour me with those sticky and slimy saliva—'

She froze in thought when she said that last word, she had the feeling that all the ponies are now somewhat disgusting because they all have done something with their mouths before: not limited to touching the handles of baskets, food, fruits, restaurant trays, the list goes on and on.

'But where could've it possibly went wrong?' The unicorn tapped on her chin. She couldn't imagine how the ponies in her daily lives can ever make her feel so sick before. As she thought about this in the process, her sister stormed in with a medical kit in her mouth and some other sharp objects she somehow brought along.

"Rarity! What's the matter? Are you okay?"

Right before Sweetie Belle's eyes, collapsed the only fashionista of Ponyville.

"I see what you mean, but why would you come to me instead of the hospital or the medical center?"

"Well Twilight, I thought that since you're her closest friend, and you're a know-it-all princess, I thought it would be better to come to you."

"Okaayy, listen up Sweetie Belle. You want to know something? I HATE medicinal studies, and medical science. But since I know both you and your sister so well, I will give you a freebie this time."

"Aw, thanks Twilight, you're the best! I know I can count on you!"

'Ugh I swear I won't let this happen again just because she is adorable!'

"Ooh! My sister's awake now. Rarity!" Sweetie Belle dashed across the bedroom and hopped onto the bed where Rarity was sleeping. Startled again, Rarity let out a shriek and leaped off the bed to tackle Twilight Sparkle.

"Okay that did NOT make any sense." Twilight groaned as she was on the floor, being stomped and hugged by her friend.

"Oh Twilight!" Rarity started to cry, "Thank goodness you're the only pony who hasn't been part of this, this, sinful cult!"

"What in Equestria are you on about? My reign had been perfectly fine!" Twilight argued, though she wasn't sure what's going on exactly.

Rarity sniffed, "No! Not that, I meant the terrible habit of ponies!"

Twilight rolled her eyes, unsatisfied with where this is going.

"The moment I saw Sweetie Belle with that medical kit held in her treacherous mouth" —Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow in confusion to what her sister meant — "I immediately realized..."

She brought a purple couch over and lied on it. "That is! The! Worst! Possible! THING!"

"Okay now Rarity, I know you're just being overly exaggerated here—" Immediately, Twilight's mouth was stuffed quiet with a white hoof.

"No! I'm not crazy! You are!" Rarity stomped her back hoof against the crystal floor after letting go of Twilight's mouth, creating a decent sound loud enough to be heard.

"Well, you shouldn't call your sister somepony with a 'treacherous mouth'—" Another white hoof this time silenced the Princess of Friendship, puffing her cheeks with her own air. Rarity proceeded to continue,

"How can you not see the insufferable matter of ponies holding things in their treacherous mouths? It is just absolutely ABSURD if you ask me."

"Honestly speaking, nopony sees it." Twilight thought for a moment about Rarity's observation, and pulled over a basket of fruits she bought yesterday. She narrowed her eyes on the handle of the twig made basket as she levitated it closer to her, and was about to hold it in her mouth.

"Oh goodness, darling, NO!" Rarity tackled Twilight again, forcing her to let go of the basket as it flew into the air. At its highest point of elevation, Sweetie Belle held it with her magic, but due to her lack of experience, she could only hold the basket there because she can't concentrate on bringing the basket down. Coincidentally, the basket is right above the two best friends who were now on the floor.

"Rarity, what in Equestria are you doing?!" Twilight shouted at her friend, "I was experimenting your observation and was about to make an inference out of it!"

"Sorry Twilight, but what has to be done, has to be done. I cannot afford to let another innocent object being tainted with the threat of ponykind."

"Threat? Are you seriously becoming obsessed with ponies holding things in their mouths?" Twilight questioned her with an annoyed look after they got back up for the second time. Rarity put her hoof to her own chest and closed her eyes, replying,

"Oh it is indeed a threat alright, you scientific ponies and doctors can keep on thinking that I'm on this what's called 'OCD' fever. But in the end, I know that I'm the scientifically correct lady that all of you should appreciate!"

"It's an acronym that stands for obsessive control disorder, and I suggest that we should take this outside to interrogate other ponies on this matter."

Rarity paused and thought about that idea for a moment. "Honestly speaking, darling, if you would take on this simply tiresome idea and convincing others to actually agree to it, which pony would you recommend for to make the idea effective enough to perform it out?"

Twilight scratched her chin for a while, she glanced at everyone who were in the conference room. She then looked at the basket floating in the air, and looked back at Sweetie Belle, back to the basket, back to Sweetie Belle, and she repeated this action for a minute or so before saying,

"You're doing a good job there Sweetie Belle, keep up the good work!"

Sweetie Belle lost concentration, and down the basket falls, at nine point eight meters per second squared towards Twilight, who did not pay attention to the incoming danger as she was speaking to Rarity,

"Like I said, Rarity, we can go learn how ponies learn holding objects from humans, and that will be Lyra Heartstrings. I mean, I did mention to you about how humans behave and act in comparison to us ponies during my journeys to their world, but some extra witnesses would help you by a lot." She turned her head to the other way, down the hall.

"I'm going to call Spike now. SPIKE—"

"I'm coming Twilight!" Spike replied back from his bedroom all the way down the hall. Once he arrived to the conference room, he saw Sweetie Belle first, then a confused Rarity, and finally a fainted Twilight who was presumably fatally struck onto the ground by a lightly weighted twig basket.

"RARITY!" The young dragon dived straight towards the unicorn's hoof and hugged it tightly. Rarity picked him up and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Sweetie Belle, feeling left out on the side, asked impatiently,

"Okay, so where are we going exactly?"

Lyra Heartstrings' house is a plain suburb house with roofs made of hay and wood while the interior structure of the actual house is just plain wood. It looks the same just like every other house in Ponyville asides from the Mane Six. It is colored white on the surface and brown lined pieces of wood dividing the white surfaces into shapes, a bunch of windows here and there, two floors, and like mentioned earlier, a haystack roof.

The S.T.R.S. team (made up of Sweetie Belle, Twilight, Rarity, and Spike) trotted with confidence, as if they are about to spark a revolution in pony history. Although to nearby ponies the four seemed more like they cared about their clothing quality, because Rarity always had to ensure a fine outward appearance before making new friends.

"Seriously Twilight, couldn't you have thought a better name for us than this simple minded one? I'd rather have no foalish team names at all." Rarity whispered, leaning closer to her friend.

"It was Sweetie Belle's idea! I can't just reject her like that, or else she's going to make a big deal about it and then everypony will think that Princess of Friendship Twilight Sparkle is a tyrant of rejections!" Twilight argued, before banging her head onto Lyra's door and falling backwards.

"If we had someone who's name begins with the letter 'A', our team name would've been STARS!" Sweetie Belle added on.

"Oh lovely! We have guests as new friends!" Lyra Heartstrings exclaimed, and without noticing, she walked over Twilight and stepped onto her guts and ribs. "I'm Lyra! Nice to meet you!" She stuck out her two front hooves in greetings.

"Wow, she didn't even take us as strangers out of the blue. I wonder what kind of weird life she has lived." Spike said to Rarity, who awkwardly ignored his rude but honest comment. she shook Lyra's hooves, while Sweetie Belle and Spike waved at the unicorn, who waved back in response. They walked into her home as Spike struggled to drag Twilight's body in.

In Lyra's house, everything seemed pretty normal. There were paintings of flowers and portraits of ponies hanging on walls. It was a fairly medium sized house fit for at least two ponies to live in, but there was only one bedroom in use; the other one was empty and untouched, full of unwanted yet visible dust stuck in place. The thing is with the portraits though, had the quartet thinking whether Lyra had issues keeping her privacy from anyone, because almost all of them are either portraits of Lyra herself, another beige coated earth pony with blue and orchid pink mane (which is Bon Bon), or both of them laying down crossed over each other, smirking.

"Yeah, totally normal..." Spike commented. Lyra led the quartet into her living room and they all sat down on the three couches, with Sweetie Belle and Spike on one couch, Twilight and Rarity on the other, and Lyra herself occupying one whole couch. She was sitting with her back hooves hanging below the couch, almost shocking everyone else but Twilight, who had seen humans doing that when they sit while she was in their dimension.

"Well then, Princess Twilight," Lyra said as she got herself and Twilight two cups of tea, leaving everyone else in the living room frowning at the unicorn. She shrugged at them and continued, "What can I get you today?"

"It isn't really about me, it's that my friend has a problem on a common pony custom, and she wants to compare it with humans." Twilight took a few sips of tea and faced towards Rarity, who cleared her throat before elaborating,

"Yes darling, I—"

"I am not your darling! I am Bon Bon's darling!" Lyra interrupted, taking a hugging pillow that has Bon Bon lying on her side like an actual human, giving that same smirk from the portraits they saw earlier. The unicorn rubbed her face into the pillow back and forth.

Rarity rolled her eyes and bit her lips in anger, but she put her hooves to rub her cheeks and ran down her mane before continuing.

"Yes, I am sorry for mistaking you for my 'interest', Miss Heartstrings. Anyways, I am here to ask you about how humans tend to ordinarily hold objects."

"Ohh! So that's what you guys came for!" Lyra clapped her hooves in joy. "Okay, so this is the story where I began my journey to learn about traditional human customs..."

"I can't believe that insanely, undomesticated, riotous mare is wasting our time telling us a story about how she 'pulverizes' her primitive partner inside his own closet!"

"Rarity, what was your problem exactly?" Twilight asked.

"I cannot afford to see ponies having to innocently, again, harm one another through germ transmitted diseases, if you see my point by now, darling."

'No, I should've known that awhile now, I thought you changed your mind.' But of course, the Princess of Friendship had to keep it realistic, so she instead, she questioned her,

"By what? Holding things in their mouths because they have no other way to hold them—"

"THAT IS EXACTLY WHY!"

"... Oh, erm, what's so bad about that? Not everypony has a horn like us to levitate things around, you know?" Twilight smiled awkwardly.

Rarity now is up to her face with a nasty look. "So you want unpleasant saliva all over your basket handles? Do you want nauseating glands on your plate when thoughtless waiters or waitresses bring them? On your colorful birthday present boxes and having no other measures to open it?"

"Oh no! I wouldn't want that happening on my birthday! Unable to open a present is like having no presents at all in the first place!"

"Um Spike? In that case, I think you've already received germs from... Well, us." Sweetie Belle reminded the purple drake. Spike opened his jaw and let it hang loose, before collapsing onto the ground.

"See Twilight, darling?" Rarity added, pointing her white hoof at the fallen dragon, who looked defeated in such a way that he was brutally slain by a Royal Guard. "Even your number one assistant Spikey-Wikey recognized the seriousness of this matter, why couldn't you?!"

"Okay Rarity, so what you're saying is that the con side to ponies holding objects in their mouths is basically putting a bit of saliva onto it after they let them go. What's the big deal honestly—"

She looked at the ponies around her, holding dumbbells, stacks of government documents written on paper, clothing, food that they were supposed to sell out to other ponies, doorknobs that ponies use to open the door with, bags and accessories that ponies put on themselves, and lethal weapons in their mouths. Not one of those objects noticed by Twilight had been free of those sticky liquids sinking into their surface, if not their bodies. To Twilight, the subject ponies don't seem to think or feel so about the resulting effects that they might put on for other ponies, what if they just touch the saliva infected part by a fur of the hoof? What plague can this cause to all of Equestria?

"Okay it's time to sparkle a revolution." Twilight flared through her nostrils and put her serious face on, before turning back to the other three in support of her pun.

"Get it? Spark-le?"

Sweetie Belle and Spike were pretty confused on where this is all going, so they didn't say much but still questioned the two older mares' motives. The replies were always "Oh, it will be fine!", "Darling this will work out just fabulously!" or "Party cannon times one thousand starry night surprises!"

"Wait, what?" Spike and Sweetie Belle exchanged further looks of confusion, as Pinkie Pie blew herself out of her cannon and into Rarity and Twilight. The three best friends rolled across the ground before the purple mares were facing up at Pinkie and her box of candy cane delivery.

"Hi Twilight! Hi Rarity! What'cha doing?"

Instead of responding to her question, Rarity put her hoof away from Pinkie's mouth, the location where her mouth was touching the bar that was holding the box. Twilight gulped as she saw the Pinkie's blue salivary glands slowly covering more area on the metal bar. Baffled by their silence, Pinkie Pie slowly reached her hoof to touch one of them.

In a nod of agreement, Twilight and Rarity struck Pinkie into the air with their hooves. As she was in the air, Rarity held the poor mare in place with her magic, and the following event resulted with Twilight flying towards Pinkie Pie in full speed, knocking her backwards into a deli store. At the same time, Pinkie Pie dropped the candy cane box from her mouth, and Rarity quickly cleaned the saliva off the handle of the box with her napkin.

"Hey! What was that all about?!" Pinkie shouted at them, "If you wanted some candy canes, you could've asked me first! Although that was pretty fun at least."

"Pinkie! You have to snap out of it!" Twilight put her hooves on the pink pony's cheeks face to face. "You should've thanked us!"

"Huh? What?"

"Oh darling! If you were to give that distrustful box to a pony, they will have to touch the part of the handle where you mindlessly bit!"

"Um, well that kinda starts to make sense now that you've said it..."

"Do you want saliva all over your pots and cups because ponies bring you them through your mouth?" Twilight added, "You wouldn't like them all over your face, right?"

"If it's for fun or party I would!" Pinkie smiled, and bit on Rarity's purple mane for no obvious reason.

Rarity screamed to the top of her lungs as she pushed the mad mare away from her. Without hesitation yet nor thinking, Twilight blasted Pinkie away into the mountains with a harmless magic spell. Letting out a big sigh, Rarity carefully took another napkin and cleaned the bitten part of her mane with it.

"Are you okay?" Twilight asked as she trotted over to her unicorn friend.

"More than ever, darling, thank you. However, that was a close one."

"Did you guys seriously just put your friend in danger all because of a bit of spit and a bite on the mane?! Away into the mountains?!"

"Oh, Sweetie Belle! It wasn't just a 'spit', but another proper and more appropriate term for it is called 'saliva'."

"That's not what I'm asking! You guys are selfishly immoral! I don't know if that's a word or not, but Equestria will not be ran by the likes of you two!"

"Sweetie Belle, you're only a little filly who's still in primary education, so of course it would be hard for you to understand all this. All you got to do is listen to what us adults tell you to do in this situation, and everything can be assured free of chaos." Twilight added on.

Frustrated and upset with their insanity, Sweetie Belle angrily stormed off the road, into the mountains for their best party friend there ever is.

"No Sweetie Belle! Wait!" Rarity yelled out to the running filly as she extended out a hoof, but was quickly put down by Twilight.

"Don't worry Rarity, she'll come back, we have bigger problems in our hunches right now."

"To save Equestria from the transmittable disease based off the unacceptable habits of ponykind, yes!"

"That was a bit wordy, but I'll give you that!" Twilight smiled in agreement, and the two began their mission to revolutionize Equestria, with a baby dragon who rolled his eyes following from behind.

"Okay sir, time for you to stop your filthy ways of handling your food for your family." Twilight said to a stallion as she threw out all his newly bought food away into the trash can.

"Excuse me, madam, but it looks like I can take care of this one." Rarity smacked an elderly mare in the face with a swipe of her hoof, saliva flew out and landed onto the ground, but at least the roll of map she was holding in her mouth fell out. The fashionista enthusiastically wiped the filth off the map with some disinfecting wipes she bought from Colicrox*, she trotted off to find the next pony to cleanse, leaving the knocked out mare on the ground.

"Don't bite on those! It's not a healthy way to behave!"

"Darling, it seems that I may have to change the disastrous handle for your shopping cart."

"What?! That rubber handle was supposed to be for the part where I have to grip on to prevent the cart itself from being bit on!" Matilda protested before Rarity tore the handle off the cart and gave the mule a whole new colorfully designed handle, with a a few pearls attached to it.

"Now it's even harder for me to use the cart!"

"Hmph! Instead of a simple and manner-some 'thank you, most kind lady', you decided to complain about my beautiful work being egregious!" Rarity pointed her head up and loftily walked away, returning Matilda the original handle that was already scraped, burned and bitten by rats.

Ponies stampeded all over the town, escaping for their lives from the Princess of Friendship and the Fashionista of Generosity. Birds flew off in fear from their home on the trees. Twilight and Rarity now expanded their simple change from preventing ponies from biting objects, into shooting magic beams (or laser beams as Vinyl Scratch called it before she was blasted away) at civilians and "permanently" making them stop having the bad habit. Houses burned and trees were knocked down. Luckily, no one was hurt, but the widespread destruction was caused by only two mares with horns on their heads.

"These ponies do not know what's right and wrong! Let's rewrite history of ponykind, Rarity!" Twilight happily laughed, firing more beams and turning ponies and objects into peaches with the legs of a frog.

"Evading their mistakes are for foolish dreams chased on endless and drastic nights! These ponies never wake up!" Rarity retorted, levitating ponies and objects alike and tossing them away.

"I think the both of you are the ones who should wake up." Spike shrugged, watching how quickly the climax escalated. It was still unexplained how none of the incoming debris from the air hit the baby dragon, but hey at least that is a benefit to him.

"Clean this! Clean that!"

"And from now on forth Equestria will be free of germs ninety-nine point nine nine percent of the time!"

A few ponies were still running away, and the fillies and colts grabbed whatever it was important for them at their age with them as they escaped in horror... All in their mouths.

"NO! NOT THOSE POOR STUFFED ANIMALS WHOSE FUR WILL BE INFECTED WITH TRANSMISSIBLE DISEASES BECAUSE OF YOU! FOOLISH FOAL!" Twilight spoke in a such calm, but deep voice that is as loud as the roar of the mother Ursa Major from her cave. The result was the shattering of buildings and constructions, whether ranging from materials such as foam all the way to diamond. The alicorn then flew up into the air, yanked her head back as she charged up an ultra beam of cyan light. She threw her head forward and fired the beam straight towards an earth colt who was holding a stuffed animal in his mouth. Running for his dear life, the colt closed his eyes firmly to meet his fate.

The stuffed animal was transformed into a hayburger with lemon and pepperoni inside it. The colt chomped it down in one bite and happily walked home.

That was just another disaster the innocent lives had to bear with seeing. Terrible, just terrible!

With an outburst of cry and rage, Rarity amplified her exertion of levitation from just one object at a time, to multiple objects at once... Twirling them in the air too. It was no surprise that a tornado was soon formed by this emotional upset, destroying everything in its way. Certain ponies were caught up in the tornado, but there is that one mare that of the same species as the fashionista, was the one that Rarity could not stand.

"You!" She pointed her hoof at Lyra, who was helplessly dominated by the force of nature as she flew in circles above Rarity. "You will pay for your unpleasant crimes towards this lady who is absolutely through with, um, you!"

Lyra screamed as she put her hooves in front of her face to shield herself from an incoming bench, which was also the one familiar to unicorn herself, because that bench was the one that she and Sweetie Drops always sat on when they hang out outside. Oftenly, Lyra would take up three quarters of the bench while her best friend had to squeeze herself into the remaining space of the bench. (To Lyra) Nevertheless, they were sweet memories before she will meet her own doom...

"WAIT! Miss Rarity! Lyra never holds things in her mouths, ever! She always uses her magic to hold them!"

The familiar voice interrupted Rarity's final blow into Lyra, and she stopped her whirlwind disaster as she turned her head back to see who in the world had said that. Lyra smiled and almost cried as she saw who it was.

"Oh, if it isn't Bon Bon. May I ask what you're doing here— No, what methods do you use to hold objects in your mouth? It better not be a 'common earth pony syndrome with no magic' excuse."

"I-I-I, uhh, I—"

"She always makes me help her out, because I'm a unicorn!" Lyra quickly lied, making Rarity put her attention back onto her. She frowned suspiciously at first, but then resumed to a sinister grin.

"Well then, excellent! It looks like we already have some new volunteers ready to assist our campaign of this coup d'etat. What do you say Twilight, darling?!"

Twilight stopped her mayhem for a brief second. "Wasn't she the one who stepped onto my guts after I fainted?" And resumed to fire more beams that burned down a dozen more buildings.

"No no! Not at all!" Lyra lied again, "It was a psychological effect after passing out! Y-you-you-you get seizures from your injury right before it!"

"Well, another pony who thinks she's smart, guess she didn't study her psychology well enough." Twilight now turned her attention towards Lyra, who opened her eyes wide and mouth dropped, as she was looking straight at the angry alicorn charging another destructive beam at her. It was Lyra now who fainted as she collapsed on the ground.

"What is going on here?" Twilight and Rarity both turned around to see who dared to say that, only to see that it was Princess Celestia trotting forth.

Some ponies cheered, "Here comes our heroine, the supreme ruler of Equestria!"

Twilight almost gasped, "Princess Celestia!" Then took a bow. "Wait, why am I bowing?"

"Princess Twilight Sparkle and Rarity of Generosity, I would not even hope to see all this uproar among such a peaceful town, and not especially from the likes of you two. If this intolerable act will not cease, I shall do so by myself with all means of methods necessary."

"Um, Princess Celestia?"

"Yes Spike?"

"What's with your fancy choices of words? You sound like a politician almost."

"Oh please! I was just trying to be young and energetic like Mayor Mare who's in her fifties!" Everypony turned their eyes onto their mayor, who blushed and fled.

"Spike?!" Twilight yelled at her assistant, who almost flinched and fell off the Princess of the Sun. "What in Equestria are you doing on the Princess? Don't tell me that you were the one who called her over!"

"Well, I..." He turned around only to meet Celestia's determined pair of eyes, flashed with fury and burning with flames to suppress this revolt once and for all.

"I DID tell on you guys, for all the chaos you both were creating this whole time with your ridiculous nonsense!" He turned to his crush, and muttered in a sorrowful tone, "I'm sorry Rarity."

"Hmph!" Rarity frowned and looked away. "Another innocent and adorable thing who has lost faith in our stance!"

"'Stance'? You mean destroying the pony custom of gripping on objects and properties when there are no other means of doing so?"

"Princess Celestia, it's not that easy to explain, I myself was surprised how you failed to pay attention to this most obvious detail for centuries."

"And I myself was surprised on how you're insane enough to ruin an equestrian tradition that requires a simple way of making ponies' lives more convenient." Celestia retorted, shaking her head and then made an awful glare to Twilight. "What happened, Princess Twilight Sparkle? Have you lost your mind on remaining knowledgeable over your principles?"

Twilight looked over to her friend Rarity, who looked back and pointed at Celestia with her head. Twilight closed her eyes for a moment before responding,

"But doesn't ponykind know when are they right or wrong? Just because mouth-gripping has been passed along down from the earliest equus ferus caballus generation, doesn't mean that it's scientifically the best way for ponies to live!"

"Revolutions may be in everlasting term dealt to nations, but is it really so for such a small detail as passing objects through mouths—"

"Don't you see it?! Don't you acknowledge the many sicknesses among ponies resulting in death? All because of a bite of saliva on the same location as other ponies have done it before? Even if not death, then rabies or STD's from unprotected intercourse can bring down a healthy and stable society!"

Spike was confused, "What's an STD?"

"... You will understand its meaning and significance at a later time of period, Spike, when you begin to mature as a teenage dragon."

"But I want to know now!"

The Princess of the Sun shook her head and levitated Spike to the other side of Ponyville, where the dragon groaned and was on his way back to his original location, slowly.

"What about the public bathrooms?" Twilight continued.

"Oh, don't even get me started on that one, darling!" Rarity butted in, "Absolutely off-putting!"

"That's not the point, my faithful student." Celestia disagreed. "After all, there weren't any incidents of epidemics or diseases that have caused catastrophes in the history of Equestria. Except for that one time when ponies began turning into a color of black, which we called it the 'Black Meth', because its origin was mixed with methane and paintball."

"And such incidents were never recorded, even if at least one that was serious to a minimal extent, will not be from biting on doorknobs where other ponies have bit on before."

"What? But how can you be so sure that a pony had put his or her salivary glands onto another pony, and turns out that nothing was wrong? Not even by a little?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure that you and your friends have 'shared tongues' and 'teeth' with each other at least a couple of times."

"Oh." Twilight smacked her head, and Rarity pretended that she hadn't realized this sooner. "When we were delivering the surprise gift for Pinkie Pie's birthday back in episode twenty five. How did I not figure that out?"

"Honestly Twilight, darling. That was what you were so upset about?"

"What?" Twilight's eyes shot right into her friend's. "Rarity! I'm trying to help you here! Aren't we on the same boat?"

"No, darling," She giggled, "I was just trying to pronounce the habit of this mouth-holding custom as a little bit too, repulsive, let's just say. Turns out that you have took this matter far more grimmer than I have!"

"Wha-WHAT?! But you were saying earlier on how ponies were transmitting diseases—"

"Oh sorry, dear, but I had to come up with something to persuade you into doing me a necessary deed, otherwise you wouldn't have done it."

Twilight now turned into stone.

"Now, if you will excuse me, darling." Rarity walked over to Princess Celestia, a grin formed on her mouth as she looked up to the mighty alicorn, who raised a brow as she looked back down at her. "Of course, we as horned subjects have a slight advantage over the others, but if you will be willingly to listen to me, Princess Celestia, I think there are better ways to handle such custom than just going for it raw."

"Hmm" — Celestia looked up and scratched her chin. "I suppose, that would be a diligent idea to perform it out, Rarity. Unless you have a solution already, that is."

Rarity's innocent grin became an ambitious smile. "I have just the thing!"

Spike walked around the now destroyed Ponyville, with houses, shops and stores collapsed, leaving hundreds homeless and unemployed. Piles of smokes and ashes rose up into the air with the smothering dust, and they were blown onto Spike's face, choking him out fire and coughing out even more smokes with his own fire.

Not from afar, he can see a familiar pony cleaning up the destruction she has caused, along with her friend that is, but she wields a far more advantage in terms of magical powers, and thus was able to do more damage to their town than her unicorn ally. Smirking as he saw that his "master" is now doing the same chores that he always had to do for her, he confidently walked up to her and asked.

"So, Twilight, how's your 'chore' so far?" Spike asked with a smirk on his face.

Twilight took an annoyed glance at her assistant, before resuming onto taking her responsibilities. Or in other words, cleaning up the whole mess she had made in Ponyville WITH her friend.

"Ugh, fine! It's all fine! Just all so fine! Like I would've made you do them for me—"

"Like always?"

She closed her eyes and let out a long sigh, "Yes, like always..."

"Honestly speaking, you were responsible for eighty percent of the mayhem done on Ponyville, so I don't think you should be complaining. Besides..." He stopped when he noticed Twilight looking back up at her assistant, after she piled another mountain of house debris to a spot. "This isn't quite like you."

"Huh? What do you mean, Spike?"

"If it was you who made a mistake, you would be honored to take responsibility on your own, but today you just seemed unfair about it. How come?"

With her back hooves in the air, only having her front hooves remaining on the ground, Twilight is now up in Spike's purple face, making his emerald eyes look greener than usual."How come? How come? HOW COME, YOU ASK?!"

Spike shrugged with an awkward smile."Um, yeah. How come?"

Twilight rolled her eyes and let out a frustrated groan, before letting herself collapse on the ground flat.

"New Chewy Grippers! Made of the most natural materials from the Yakyakistan highlands!"

"You don't have to ever worry about feeling disgusted over your saliva ever again!"

"Thanks to the brand new magical technology 'spellknowledgey' was a contribution from the royalty. This new handle is immune to almost any chemical stains that may come in contact with it!"

"First one thousand ponies to purchase this get a thirty percent discount off—"

Too late, the ponies already began running over Flim and Flam and blasted into the jewelry store, enchanted by the sparkling diamonds and the sweet taste of sapphires, any mineral shard by now is enough to draw the mob's attention like a siren's song. The gripper itself is made of some of the hardest minerals found in Equestria, with diamond gripper being the most expensive one. Although mainly made of solid hard materials, the gap for where the teeth was supposed to be placed on, however, was soft, rubbery and elastic. Anypony would feel satisfied and fortunate when they can just take a glance at this new, shining innovation.

"I must say, Rarity, your idea of strengthening Equestria's economy is surely impressive!" Celestia grinned at the fashionista, who ran her mane and flicked it. Ponies

"Of course, your majesty! I simply can not do this without a little bit of help from your alicorn abilities. I must thank you."

"Oh! And the Yaks for allowing us to have access to their divine treasures!"

A few ponies began fighting over a gripper with a few shiny gems attached to it, grabbing and punching it. The consequence was marked on their hooves, NOT on the gripper itself.

"I also think that Twilight has learned a valuable lesson today," Celestia added.

"Oh really? I thought it was I who deserved to be taught a ingenious lesson."

"Oh no, generous mare! You are too humble!" A snake line of ponies lined up in front of the counter, happily waiting to obtain their new stylish looking handles.

"All Twilight needed to know this time, is the magic of—"

"Intelligence? Wit? Oh I know she still has much to learn from this beautiful heart of mine!"

"No dear, I meant friendship of course!"

"Oh you've GOT to be JESTING with me!"

Sweetie Belle was struggling to pick up her pace as she was close to crawling down the mountains. Blizzard can even wait when there's a blow of freezing breath and chill followed by another colliding straight into her face. "Brr! Brr!" was all she can say.

She wanted to check how far she has descended since she found Pinkie Pie sleeping on an Ursa Minor (who was also sleeping), but every attempt she has tried resulted in her feeling dizzy and almost falling over. The (only) good news, was that her path down the mountains was pretty simple: circle around it and she will be down there at no time.

The bad news, however, was something else indeed.

"So anyways, I was saying how everypony should blast up a super duper party for Tirek in Tartarus! Because maybe that way he can stop being such a meanie and actually make some friends in his life later on! But then the Tartarus guards are super strict on party like stuffs, so I told my friends that we should throw a party for the guards so that they can be nice to us and let us enter Tartarus and then we can throw the party for Tirek in order to reform him! I mean, it's kinda complicated to say, honestly, how does one throw a party in order to throw another party? Is there a difference between these two parties? Just like Celestia's left wing and Luna's right wing when reserving how Equestria should be ran? Or else what if the guards don't like the parties that we throw them? What if Tirek doesn't like it" —

Sweetie Belle began to boil up at a rapid rate, but even then it wasn't enough to keep her warm from the blistering cold. And she was the one having to carry Pinkie down the mountains somehow.

— "Say Sweetie Belle, I got a bunch of ideas listed in this thinking paper of mine. You can help me brainstorm some new ideas!"

The party pony took out a sheet of paper, the list was almost scribbled with nonsense and unreal words that only made sense with Pinkie Pie herself. She leaned her head towards Sweetie Belle and passed the list with her wet mouth. Once Sweetie Belle received it, she can feel the sticky slime going through her gums and teeth as it wriggled through her mouth and reaching her warm tongue.

Filthy, unbearable, and just completely weird, aside from just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie. Sweetie Belle is now sweating on the inside, as she was being introduced another foreign substance that was beginning to drive her crazy.

'Maybe I should've just left her in the mountains.'