Pinkie You're a...WHAT?!

by Alyssa Hartwick

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1658

Pinkie tellsTwilight the secret of her "pinkie sense". Twilight is very confused.

Twilight had always wondered why and how pinkie had gotten her "Pinkie sense" and today Twilight was going to find out. Though the answer may shock her.....and may also make her contemplate her existence.

(Holy Sun Butt! This is a VERY dumb fic please don't take it seriously! Its supposed to be Crap! )

A Very Stupid One-Shot whose existence is solely based of the fact I have insomnia and that I was bored.:applejackconfused:

Give this a like if you hate idk.....lemons...like raw lemons....or lemon juice...:pinkiesick:

This is unedited so don't take it seriously :applejackunsure:

I threw the cover art together last second so piss off. :ajbemused:

I wuv you all:heart::rainbowkiss:

Published 2016-07-21 02:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-07-21 02:50:01 UTC

How are you a......

“I’m a rock” Pinkie said simply with a grand smile.

Twilight looked at pinkie with a very confused expression decorating her lavender face

“You’re a what?” The purple alicorn asked her friend in confusion.

“I’m a rock” She stated as she continually bounced around one of her best friends.

_-(The night before)-_

Twilight couldn’t take it anymore. This question. This simple yet aggravating question had been burning at her brain for far too long and tomorrow she was going to get answers.

________________________________________________________________________________________________
(But everyone knows that she won’t get the answer she thought she was going to get!)
(Pinkie get out of here this is my story) (WELLLLL it is about me right? ) (Get out) (OKI-DOKI!)_________________________________________________________________________________________________

_-(Ten minutes earlier)-_

Twilight had summoned pinkie to the castle of friendship and pinkie was going to be there in less than a minute. Of course she would be. But soon pinkie would tell her all that she needed.

Twilight thought as she laughed manically at the thought of this torment finally ending.

“What’s up Twi!” a chipper voice said into her ear.

“GAAAAH!” Twilight nearly screamed from being startled in the middle of her private moment.

She fell onto her haunches causing her to fall against one of her many large bookshelves.

“Twilight look out!” pinkie yelled out to her but it was too late.

She looked up I horror as many of her cherished books fell on top of her.

“Ahhh!” Twilight yelled as was betrayed by something she loved so dearly.

Pinkie cringed at the sight of one of her besties being showered with large heavy tomes as loud banging noises as well as a muffled yells came the growing pile of books.

Now buried in a pile of books Twilight summoned a teleportation spell and repapered in front of the pile. The pile collapsing without its pony like pillar holding it up anymore.

Twilight sneezed. As she did so the dust that had collected on the surface of her coat created a cloud that enveloped both her and pinkie for a few moments before settling back down on to the ground.

“Pinkie don’t scare me like that” she said as she said as she brushed the remaining dust off of her shoulders.

She then turned her head to her pink friend who was smiling sheepishly at the disaster she had caused within the first minute of getting to the castle.

Twilight sighed and smiled. “Its fine I’ll just have spike clean it up” she said as she lead pinkie to her lab room.

_-(Meanwhile in another part of the castle)-_

"I just felt my 'spike has to clean something up sense' tingling" Spike stated out loud to no one.

_-()-_

“So why did you call me here Twily!” The bouncing pink pony asked.

Right before she was going to answer she was interrupted by her friend.

“Is it another friendship problem?” she asked

“No pinkie I called you here to-“she began to say before being interrupted again.

“Is it because you want to have a party?” She asked excitedly.

“Pinkie no, it’s just-“she tried to get her word in once again only to be caught off….again.

“Oh! oh! I know! You want some dating advice from aunt Pinkie!” Her friend who kept bouncing asked enthralled.

“Pinkie” Twilight said pleadingly.

“Do you want a sleep over with me!” pinkie asked.

“Pinkie…” Twilight repeated this time with a stern tone.

“Do you want me to bake you a batch of cupcakes? “She then gasped “OH MY HOLY SUNBUTT! HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE YOU HAVE LAST HAD A CUPCAKE?!YOU POOR THING! Pinkie said as she continued ranting.

“PINKIE!” Twilight finally shouted at her friend.

“We’re here!” pinkie said cheerfully.

“What?” she said in confusion before looking around and realizing that they have made it to her desired destination.

_-(Back to now)-_

“You’re a what?” The purple alicorn asked her friend in confusion.

“I’m a rock” She stated as she continually bounced around one of her best friends.

Twilight was confused at the statement, she hadn’t even asked a question yet and.

“That’s why I have a pinkie sense!” Pinkie said as she continuously bounced in a circle around Twilight.

“How did you-“Twilight began to ask before the pink menace interrupted her again.

“It’s all in the Pinkie sense!” she chirped as if not noticing the confusion etched into every crevice of her friends face.

“You’re a what now?” Twilight asked once more this time in disbelief of what her friend was saying instead of pure unadulterated confusion.

“For Celestia’s sake twilight I’m a rock, and I thought you were the smart one” Pinkie said indifferent to the fact that twilight was face hoofing. Hard.

“Pinkie you’re not a rock” Twilight said in annoyance.

“Yes I am” Pinkie said cheerfully.

“No you’re not Pinkie” Twilight said still annoyed.

“Yes I am” Pinkie sing-songed.

“Prove it then!” Twilight said thinking she actually might win a game of wits with Pinkie.

She forgot the fact that no one wins a game of logic with Pinkie. Not even pinkie. Accept one. His name is-

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

(Oh! Oh! I know who it is! ) (Pinkie! Get out!) (Please let me tell them! *Puppy dog eyes*) (Fine Just-) (WELL THERE WAS THIS ONE TIME ME AND GUMMY WENT TO THE STORE AND I THOIUGHT THE CHERRYS ON THE LEFT LOOKED BETTER BUT GUMMY SAID THAT THE - )
(help me… )
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Ok back to the story (I feel so bad for that guy, oh wait that’s me) (HIYA!) (AHH!)

_-()-_

“Okie Dokie Loki!” pinkie replied cheerfully.

“You actually have proof?” a suspicious Twilight asked.

“Yuporooni!” The party pony replied.

“Ok? So what evidence supports the claim that you’re indeed a… rock” Twilight said with mock belief. She honestly didn’t expect Pinkie to have proof.

“Maud likes me” She said plainly.

“And?” Twilight said hoping for more of an answer.

“And the fact I lived on a rock farm” she also said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“How does that prove you’re a rock?” Twilight asked confused.

“Well for one Maud likes rocks” pinkie stated

All Twilight could do was listen and nod as she as internally screaming.

“Can you elaborate…Please?” Twilight said through Gritted teeth.

“Okay!” the pink mare said with cheer emanating from her voice.

“Maud likes rocks. Maud likes me. So therefor-“She said as a drum set came out of nowhere and she began to play a drum roll. “I’m a Rock!” She nearly yelled as an explosion of confetti came from behind her.

Twilight looking unamused at Pinkie blew a piece of confetti off of her muzzle.

“And how does this relate to-“She was beginning to say to be again cut off by the pink pony.

“Rocks have special power’s” She said in response to the half formed question.

“Give me an example of these ‘powers’ “Asked Twilight who had finally given up on any real explanation.

“You know how Maud plays hide and seek with bolder?” she asked excitedly

“Yes” twilight said flatly.

“It’s MAGGGIC!” She whispered loudly.

_____________________________________________________________________________________
(How does that even work?) (How dose what work?!) (AHHHHHH! Send help! Please!)
(How can I help?) ( *Starts banging head on a wall* )
(That looks like fun! *Also starts banging head on a wall* )
_____________________________________________________________________________________

*sigh* “Ok pinkie” said Twilight.

“Now explain how living on a rock farm makes you-“She inhaled sharply before finishing. “A Rock?”

“Oh that’s easy!” Pinkie stated.

“What else would live on a rock farm?” Pinkie stated.

“Please explain further” Twilight said in a way you could have almost mistake it for Maud’s voice.

“If rocks are farmed on a rock farm who better to farm on a rock farm than a rock that knows how to farm rocks on a rock farm!” She explained

indifferent to the utterly hopeless look on Twilights face.

Twilight didn’t know how much more she could take of this. So she used her last defense at beating pinkie pie at wits.

Logic

“That’s ridiculous! If that were true then Apple Jack would be an apple, Rarity would be a diamond, Sweetie belle a bell , Celestia the literal sun and Luna would literally be the moon! So everyone would technically be a rock” She said triumphantly with her eyes closed.

She peeked one open noticing the growing grin on pinkies face. She looked at pinkie wide eyed and gulped knowing what was to come next.

“ONE! Apple jack bucks apple trees that drop apples with come from the tree and the tree growing in soil witch is basically crushed up rocks. And she eats apples along with other things which are technically made of rocks!” She stated.

“TWO! Rarity found a rock. The rock opened up. More rocks were found. She got a cutie mark from a rock. A Diamond is a rock. And she technically eats rocks.”

“THREE! Bells are made of metal. Witch come from within the earth and are formed with and by rock. And magma is melted rock as well. And again she technically eats rocks.”

“FOUR! Celestia Controls the sun. Which is a giant flaming rock. And FIVE! Luna also controls a hunk of dead rock. And again they both eat rock!”

Pinkie ended her rant and looked excitedly at her friend. Twilight was frozen.

Pinkie….was right. Twilight thought.

She could find nothing truly wrong with pinkies theory…or is it a law? Twilight didn’t care at the moment she was too busy trying to keep her mind from unraveling from this revelation. How couldn’t have she figured this out sooner? It was too much for her to bear.

To pinkies surprise Twilights eyes rolled back and she suddenly fainted.

Pinkie looks at her then at you.

“was it something I said?”

Author's Note

I regret nothing. :heart::scootangel:
This is unedited because it is a crap story anyway :pinkiecrazy::heart::derpytongue2: