The Birth, or rather, "Birth", of Chaos

by Jonny Manz

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Discord, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1644

An author attempts to get a Discord origin story written when he is visited by a certain, somewhat unwelcome (and also very chaotic) presence.

An author attempts to get a Discord origin story submitted by the deadline when he is visited by a somewhat unwelcome (and very chaotic) presence - Discord himself, and he decides to tell his story himself. From his "birth" to the present, he briefly goes over his life (as he and the author argue over what's truthful and what's not).
Rated Teen for a minor sexual reference.

Published 2016-08-03 04:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-08-03 04:10:02 UTC

Appearance

The Birth of Chaos
By: Jonny Manz
Disclaimer: The following story does not claim to be an accurate depiction of the birth of Discord, and how he came to be, but presents reasonable speculation based on historical accounts.

As it happens, Equestria is an ancient civilization, well regarded for the harmony its citizens live under. But like all civilizations, both in that world and ours, a balance with the cosmos must be maintained in order to truly lengthen its life line - that is, its lasting place in history. Perhaps no group of six ponies better represent harmony than those six representing its elements, who have wielded the elements countless times in defense of Equestria, from those who would seek to destroy it, or perhaps plunge it into the depths of chaos. Likewise, there is not a being that better represents the embodiment of chaos in Equestria than the draconequus Discord. Surely everyone knows of the events of Discord's reformation (and vow to use his chaos for better purposes than causing trouble amongst the citizens of Equestria), but what of his origins - and those of his species, for that matter? The following story will attempt to -

((Behind the scenes

Suddenly, the author of this work heard a strange, yet oddly familiar voice call out to him, "Oh come now, you're really starting it that way? Pointless fluff and padding? I think that's below even your 'standards'. And speculating on my history? Really?!"

"Oh goodie, it's you. What, Luna granting you access to my dreams to torment me into writing this stupid story wasn't enough - you had to enlist Pinkie Pie's help in order to get into this dimension, and meet with me physically, Discord?" The author retorted, finally recognizing the voice as the unmistakable dulcet tones of one John de Lancie.

"Please, I could already travel into other dimensions without that one's help."

"Though I genuinely doubt you knew the exact coordinates to this place, while she obviously did. Why else would you enter into my dreams the night previously if you could physically reach me already? It doesn't add up," the author replied.

"… Alright, fine, you got me. I had to enlist her help to get here so soon."

"Out of curiosity, what did you give her?"

"I think it would be most helpful to imagine a pink blur bouncing off the walls of a room filled with an abundance of treats."
The author nodded in agreement, noting that such a thing would be in character for a pony such as Pinkie Pie.

"But anyway, can't you see that you're just derailing the story even further? I doubt your readers will appreciate a conversation between us this long. Also, I nearly forgot to mention, I'm taking this story over!" Discord stated, further ripping down the fourth wall as if it were a mere piece of wet paper.

"You think you can do better than me? Fine! Be my guest," The author spat back at Discord.))

The "Birth" of Chaos in Equestria
By: Discord

Ah yes, I remember it well - I was not the only draconequus back at my origin (as we draconequui were not so much… born, as much as we just came into existence - though with a creature as complicated as I am, or rather, we were back then, what can one expect?)

(("Wow, is that true? Fascinating!" The original author opined.

"But of course! Would I ever lie?" Discord asked, in such a way as to make the author further suspicious.

"Well…" The author trailed off before the thought could be finished, not wanting to disrupt the story further.))

Eventually, the chaotic space in which we resided began to collapse, and in a last ditch effort to preserve my species, my parents sent me to Equestria, as the chaotic space had become too chaotic, apparently, so the cosmos came to reap their revenge.

(("Wait… you're not trying to take Superman's backstory and pass it off as your own, are you?" The author asked incredulously.

"No, of course not! Whatever would give you that idea?" replied Discord, while his eyes shifted back and forth, "I don't even know what this 'Superman' of which you speak is!"

"Don't tell me your parents were the rulers of your realm! And what was the name of the realm, anyway?" The author asked, still convinced of the untruth of Discord's story.

"No! And… um… kryp… krypcaphone!" Discord replied unconvincingly.

"You were going to say 'Krypton', weren't you?" The author asked, somewhat smugly.

"...Oh, hush up, you."

"You know, if you're going to lie, either be convincing or be upfront about it."))

Alright, so I don't really remember how exactly I ended up in Equestria. The point is, once I arrived there, I spent a long while wandering, lost, until I stumbled upon the Alicorn tribe, who, at that point, were a dying race, akin to my species. Perhaps the cosmos were taking revenge on them for being out of balance, like the draconequui (or at least, that's what I like to imagine).
I do not know if it was for that reason, or if it was just fate drawing us together, but I found myself drawn, before long, to two sisters: Celestia and Luna. We became fast friends, and always did everything together. From playing pranks on that old fogey, Star Swirl the Bearded, to just spending time together, I can't ever really remember us being apart back then. It was something I had never experienced before, and honestly, I really and truly enjoyed it.

Then, as we grew older, the feelings of friendship between us blossomed into something more. I know it's not like me to get all mushy like that, but Celestia and I really did start to feel a deeper, romantic connection between the two of us. I can honestly say that the time I spent as her coltfriend (though I suppose I should make that "colt"friend) was perhaps the happiest time of my life up to that point (and would still be ranked highly today).

Unfortunately, the sex was… rather lacking. I must say, Luna was a much better lay - I don't know if that was due to her newfound role as princess of the night, but she was a definite step up. Whoops, probably shouldn't put that in here, in case either Mistresses Sunbutt or Moonbutt are reading this, heehee.

(("Gross! You really want me to believe that you slept with both Celestia and Luna way back when?"

"Believe it or don't, it doesn't really matter to me. It is the truth, however."

"Ugh… I think this time I actually believe you."

"Also, can you please change me back to a human?"

"Why? I think your new form suits you."

"First off, I don't appreciate being turned into a balloon, secondly, I am getting dangerously close to popping."))

Then, I don't know what changed in me, but something did. Something that led me to embrace the darkness of chaos further and further. Maybe it was Celestia and I growing gradually more distant, or perhaps that was caused by the chaotic instincts in me that led to that - it's really a chicken or egg type of dilemma at this point. That's not important - what is important is that eventually, I took over Equestria, forcing the two sisters to imprison me in stone for the first time. I only recently remembered what their faces looked like when doing it (such was the influence of the chaos over me that I could remember naught but the lovely sensation of disorder the first time I was freed) - Luna seemed incredibly conflicted about performing such an action against a former friend, but Celestia… dear me, the devastation on her face was as plain as day. It is, to this day, the one thing I regret, forcing her to do that. That is also why I was in a laughing pose in my first statuification - all I could do was laugh, to hide my unbearable shame. I was also happy when I got back to hear that she had been able to move on, and find love with that Mirror King Sombra.

I am certain you know the rest of my story, what with kind little Fluttershy, my fit of jealousy with her Tree… Embrace friend (or whatever her name might have been), and the like.

(("I dunno, as much as I hate to admit it, I believe you, but do you really think there are more than a handful of people in this world that will believe that you could really be that sympathetic?"

"Ah well, we'll see what happens," Discord replied.

"Also, isn't there more to the story, or is that it?" the author asked Discord.

"Well, there is certainly more detail, but I figured that I should just give the abridged version for now."

"Fair enough, I suppose," said the author, satisfied to perhaps invite Discord back one day to get a full and complete version.

"DISCOOOOOOOORD!" a female voice broke through the silence of the room.

"Whoops, guess I really should have left that part out - come to think of it, I don't think I ever told Celestia about my seeing Luna on the side! Gottagoseeyoulater!" Discord hurriedly exclaimed before vanishing.

"What a guy, that Discord." The author then got up to take a well-deserved bathroom break, only to discover that someone had managed to fill his bathtub with chocolate pudding. At least, that's what he hoped it was. "DISCOOOOOOOOOORD!"))

Author's Note

Well, it may be kind of crappy (I mean, I did write this in about 6 hours, if even that, over the course of a couple days, for EqD's Discord event thing) but I had fun writing this, which is a rarity with my writing.