The Interview

by BradMayFan

Rating: everyone
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Mr. Cake, Mrs. Cake, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 2176

Two takes on a picture. One as a job interview and one as something a little more serious.

Two takes on one image. The first (The Job), what Pinkie's job interview with the Cakes may have been like. The second (The Family), just an idea about how something a little more serious would play out between them. (Two quick-fics to practice writing dialogue for the Cakes and Pinkie.)

Published 2012-06-22 23:34:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-22 23:34:01 UTC

The Job

The Job

OK Pinkie, you can do this. Head up, tie straight, hair neat, let's do this!

"Ms. Pie? We're ready for you." Pinkie rose from her seat and collected her belongings.

Not too fast now, don't want to look desperate. Don't forget to smile!

"If you'd just follow me right through here," said the cyan interviewer.

Strengths: Smiling, partying, kindness, baking.

Pinkie followed through a set of saloon doors into a back room of the bakery. The room, clearly a kitchen by design had been rapidly reassembled for the interviews. A small table sat in the middle of the room, at it waited the second interviewer. The amber pony rose and extended a hoof in greeting. His jacket was wrinkled and faded, probably seeing daylight for the first time in years. Quickly pulled out to give an air of formality to the proceedings. "Good to meet you..." he checked his papers, "...Ms. Pie. Why don't you grab a seat so we can get started." Pinkie plopped down on the floor.

No, no ,no! Not like that! Graceful! GRACEFUL!

"My name is Carrot Cake and you've already met my wife, Cup Cake." Pinkie nodded. "So we're just going to ask you a few questions and then at the end feel free to ask us any questions you might have. Sound good?"

"Sounds peachy to me!"

Good, good. Just the right amount of enthusiasm.

"Alright then," Mr. Cake began, "tell us a little bit about yourself."

"Well I grew up on a rock farm, and it was really, REALLY boring and then one day there was this big BLOOOSH and a huge rainbow went across the sky! I'd never seen anything so amazing it just made me want to PARTY!"

"Ms. Pie."

"-So that night I went out to the barn and in the morning I threw a big party for my whole family!"

"Ms. Pie!"

"Oh. Sorry, 'A little bit.'"

Mrs. Cake asked the next question, "What experience do you have baking."

"Well, every weekend Granny Pie and me would-"

"Excuse me but, Granny Pie?" asked Mr. Cake.

"Oh. That's my Granny," both the cakes nodded, "every weekend we'd bake together. Pies, cakes, cookies, everything!" Both the interviewers took notes down on their pads.
Mrs. Cake asked, "Where did you hear about this opening?"

Rose from Lilly from Junebug from Daisy Jill from Cherilee.

"Friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend. One, two, three, four, five. Yeah, five friends."

"So you'd say friendship is a strength of yours?"

"Oh defiantly, I love to make friends!"

"Tell us some of your other strengths."

"Well this one time I was able to pick up this HUGE rock way out in the far field and carry it all the way back to the barn!"

Mr. Cake cleared his throat, "Do you have any experience in retail?"

"Well this one time I went with my dad to take our rock harvest to market. While he was off talking with some of his friends I got us the deal of the century! I traded the whole wagon load for ten whole cakes! You should have seen my dad's face when I told him about the deal I swung!"

"Riiiiiight," said Mr. Cake not bothering to take notes.

Don't tell them that!

"Don't tell them what?" mumbled Pinkie.

"Excuse me?" asked Mrs. Cake.

"Nothing!" she promptly replied. The two interviewers looked pensively at each other.

Getting back on track, Mr. Cake asked, "How about children? We get a lot of foals and fillies in the shop, we need someone who's comfortable around little ponies."

"Oh I love kids! Playing with them, eating candy with them and telling stories! Like this one time-"

Stop. Now.

"I get along great with kids," she finished.

"OK, just a few more questions. Why is water wet?" asked Mrs. Cake.

"Uhhhhh, because it's water?" There was more scratching on notepads.

"What is eight minus three?"

If there's eight pies and we eat three of them... Five. Five pies left.

"Five pies that we didn't eat." Even more furious scratching.

"Last question," said Mrs. Cake, "In five years where do you see yourself?"

"What? Do you think I have a time machine? Because I don't you know. I don't think those even exist."

The interview team shared a tired glance at each other. Mr. Cake decided to wrap it up, "So that's all of our questions, do you have any questions for us Ms. Pie?"

"Uh yeah, where's your bathroom?"

Mrs. Cake answered, "Up the stairs, second door on the left dearie." Pinkie ran from the room, leaving the doors swinging wildly.

"No way," said Mr. Cake, "She's just too out there." His wife nodded in agreement. As an awkward capstone to the interview the sound of a toilet flushing came through the ceiling. Pinkie entered into the room, and then left it again. Seemingly unaware the Cakes were staring at her in awe, she kept going through the saloon doors and watching them flap back and forth.

"Ahem," Mr. Cake cleared his throat.

"Oh, hello!" she replied.

"Ms. Pie."

"Oh call me Pinkie. All my friends do."

"Pinkie, we'd just like to thank you for taking the time to come out to this interview. But I'm afraid you're just not quiet the pony we're look-"

"Oh Celestia! I almost forgot, here have one of these," she said pulling a wrapped plate of cupcakes from her saddlebag. "I made these this morning. They barely had time to cool before I had to ice them and come here." She took the wrapping off the plate and placed them in the centre of the table. "Please, try them! I made them for you!"

The Cakes shrugged, each grabbing a cupcake. They each took a simultaneous bite expecting the worst. Pinkie watched as both their eyes lit up. Mrs. Cake said with a mouth full of icing, "Ms. Pi-, err, Pinkie, these are amazing! You baked them yourself?"

"Batter, icing and sprinkles!"

"These are the best cupcakes I've ever tasted!" said Mr. Cake. "What's your secret?"

"Well if I told you it wouldn't be a secret now would it?"

Carrot and Cup looked at each other and a exchanged a smile. While Mr. Cake licked his hooves Mrs. Cake said, "We'll be sure to be in contact with you, Pinkie."

"When you need me I'll be ready an hour before that," she replied standing up from the table. She shook each of the interviewers hooves and left once more through the swinging doors.

Party, party, party, party, party.

"I think we'll get used to it," Mr. Cake assured his wife as she cleaned up the crumbs from their impromptu snack. "And besides, with recipes that good maybe we'll have a little more to go around." He pulled his wife away from the sink and hugged her, "With the extra money, maybe we could finally afford to get that thing we've talked about."

"Oh Honeybun." She hugged him back.

The Family

The Family

The white house sat surrounded by a wrought iron fence and a lush garden. Over the entrance, the iron arched to allow visitors in. A couple walked under the vaulted iron, a cyan mare leaning heavily on her amber stallion. The two were obviously in love. The husband opened the door and held it for his wife. Through the open doorway the laughs and sounds of children could be heard. Over the door a sign hung identifying the building simply as the "Ponyville Orphanage".

The two ponies knew their way around the building, they had done this walk many times in the last few months. But today was more important than all of those times. They made their way to the office located on the second floor. They waited for the administrator to show them to the correct room. When he arrived, he did so with a smile and a three inch binder. He sat with them going over the discussions they had had over the last months. When he had told them everything they needed to know, he guided them down the hall to a brightly lit room furnished with two couches facing each other with a coffee table between them. The couple sat down together. "Wait here," the suited pony said. before leaving the room.

The couple was in each other's arms. The wife looked to her husband and asked with watery eyes, "What if she doesn't like us? What if the reports were wrong?"

"Don't worry about all that, I'm sure they know what they're doing here," replied the husband. Each of them was worried that the hours of planning and deliberation could all be for naught. All the sleepless nights, all the faces to which they had said "No". All the test and interviews and screenings. Months of planning and work about to be put to the test. They hugged each other on the couch, each knowing that it had not been easy to get to this point.

The door creaked open and each of their eyes shot to it. They dropped their arms faster than two schoolchildren caught by their teacher. They shuffled nervously as the administrator led the little pink pony ahead of him through the door. He bent down so he was at the same level her, "Pinkie, I'd like you to meet Carrot Cake and Cup Cake." The couple smiled nervously and waved. Pinkie didn't look up from the carpet. "Why don't you go and talk with them. I'll go get some sweets and tea." She didn't move until he led her by her hoof to the empty couch.

The three sat in silence even after the administrator left. Mrs. Cake leaned in close to the pink filly, "Pinkie, my name's Cup Cake and this is my husband Carrot Cake. We just wanted to ask you a few questions, talk for a bit, if that's alright?" Pinkie nodded slowly. "What do you like to do?"

She barely looked up but answered in a tiny voice, "I like to have fun."

"That's good, having fun is nice. What else do you like?"

"I like playing with toys."

"Do you have a favourite toy?"

She looked up even more, almost level with the table, "I like the pretend kitchen. Every day at playtime I make everypony lunch. I like to make cupcakes." Mrs. Cake looked at her husband and smiled. Pinkie's eyes went right back to the floor.

Mr. Cake took his chance, "Do you have any friends?"

Even though her head was down, they could tell her eyes had just lit up, "Lots of friends. I'm friends with everyone."

"You should see her out in the play yard!" intruded the administrator as he entered back into the room carrying a tray loaded with sweets and a teapot. "Whenever someone new arrives here, Pinkie is always the first to go and say hello. And whenever someone leaves, she always has the longest goodbye." The little filly was blushing.

The suited pony placed the tray on the coffee table. The tray had cookies, cupcakes and candy on one half, teacups and teapot on the other. "Can I have one?" Pinkie asked the Administrator.

"Don't ask me," he replied, "ask them," he motioned to the Cakes.

She looked to them, asking the question with her eyes. "Of course you can have one dearie. Have as many as you'd like." She grabbed a pink-frosted cupcake. She smeared it across her face trying to eat it as fast as she could.

"Pink is my favourite colour," she explained.

As Pinkie munched on the cupcake, taking as big bites her small size would allow. The Administrator whispered to Mr. Cake just loud enough so that Mrs. Cake would hear as well. "Feel free to ask it now."

"Uhh, Pinkie?" Mr. Cake asked.

"Yes?!" she looked up enthusiastically, crumbs and icing covering her face.

"How would you like to come and spend some time with us?"

She paused, trying to comprehend the question. "You mean leave here?"

"Well yes, but just for a little bit. Like a week, and if you like it you can stay longer!"

Her eyes started to water, "But what about all my friends here?"

"You'd be more than welcome to come and visit any time you wanted," said the Administrator.

She wiped the tears from her eyes, "That'd be nice."

"They haven't even told you the best part yet. Tell them Mrs. Cake."

"If you came with us, you'd be staying in a bakery! You could help us bake every day!" Her eyes lit up, the Administrator knew that look.

"Really? Actual baking, with an oven and spoons and bowls?"

"Every day!" chimed in Mr. Cake.

"That'd be nice," she said still sniffling and wiping the frosting from around her lips. "Can I make some cupcakes? With pink frosting?"

"Of course you can." the two said in unison.

That morning, two ponies entered through the gates of the Ponyville Orphanage. That afternoon, three left.