Ponies of the Dinner Table

by Coyotek4

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6
Length: 5576

Longing for the gaming days of moons past, Twilight entices Rainbow Dash and the others to create a new role-playing group.

Longing for the gaming days of moons past with her Canterlot friends, Twilight entices Rainbow Dash and the others to create a new role-playing group, with herself as the Ponymaster. Things don't go as she expects during their first night of gaming.

Published 2016-07-21 02:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-07-21 02:30:01 UTC

Getting to Know You

Two nights later, six ponies and one fun-sized dragon gather around a rectangular table in the castle’s dining room. Twilight occupies one end of the table, her notes and dice hidden behind a cardboard shield, while everyone else files around the rest of the table, with Spike occupying the other end.

“OK,” Twilight begins, excited to start play, “let’s go around the table so—“

“Twilight, darling,” Rarity interrupts.

“Is everything OK?”

“I think there’s been a mistake with the passing out of dice. I got a green ten-sider mixed in with all my red dice.” She looks over to Spike’s set; “Ah, I think Spike and I must have gotten our sets mixed up. Spike, could you be a dear and—“

Twilight corrects her friend: “No, Rarity, the sets are correct as is. You need two ten-sided dice of different colors to roll for percents. So if you roll a green 3 and a red 7, that’s a 37 percent.”

Rarity cringes slightly. “Whoever came up with pairing a green die with an all-red set certainly isn’t winning me over with any fashion sense, to be sure. Very well, then; I apologize for my outburst Twilight.”

“No Rarity, there is no need to apologize. In fact, I want any of you who has a question to just ask. I realize how strange this whole game might feel, so I’m sure there is much you don’t understand. Oh, and I want to thank you all again for letting me get back behind the screen. This is gonna be great!”

The others all cheer in enthusiasm, eager to get started.

“So, let’s go around the table so everyone can introduce their characters.” Twilight turns to her left; “Rainbow Dash, you go first.”

“I’m playing ‘Crimson Awesome’. She’s an earth-pony fighter, charcoal-grey but with a shock of deep red for her mane and tail. She’s skilled with the sword as well as the daggers; she keeps both sheathed to her chainmail armor.”

“Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy asks, “your character’s not a pegasus?”

“You don’t need wings when you got the strength that Crimson has!”, Rainbow responds with a grin. “Anyone who gets in my character’s way is gonna eat steel!”

“She sounds incredible, Dash.” Twilight then shifts her gaze to the next pony around the table; “OK Applejack, you’re up.”

“My character is ‘Blood Pumpkin’. He’s a heavyset unicorn stallion cleric, big but gentle. Orange with red stripes adornin’ his coat. He carries but a small club for weaponry, but his defensive spell-casting ability is …” Before Applejack can further her description, she notices the curious looks of her friends. “What?”

“Applejack,” Rarity notes, “you’re playing a he?”

Applejack’s shrugs as her gaze darts left and right. “It’s just a game, right? I thought it’d be interesting to play a male character. I don’t see nothin’ wrong with it.”

“Hey, maybe Blood Pumpkin and Crimson will find romance during this adventure. Wouldn’t that be hilarious?” Pinkie’s comments draw angry looks from both Rainbow Dash and Applejack. “What?”

“Let’s just move on, shall we.” Twilight turns to her ever-faithful assistant, sitting directly across from her. “So Spike, who’d you come up with?”

“Call me ‘Lance Skyslicer’. He’s a pegasus fighter, purple with a green mane and tail. He wields a broadsword, but can more than hold his own in hoof-to-hoof combat.”

Twilight frowns. “Spike,” she notes skeptically, “you took this character from our Canterlot campaign.”

“So? It seemed a shame to let him go to waste, so I thought I’d use him here.”

“He’s a 10th-level character! Why would he hang around a bunch of first-level noponies?”

Rainbow objects to Twilight’s comment. “Hey! Nopony refers to Crimson Awesome as a ‘nopony’, got it?”

“Calm down, Dashie,” Applejack says, “I’m sure Twilight didn’t mean nothin’ by that comment.” Turning to Twilight, Applejack continues. “How much harm could it do to have an experienced character work with newbies, Twi?”

“It’s my job as the Ponymaster to make sure this campaign is balanced for your abilities. I deliberately chose weaker monsters so you’d all have a chance to get a feel for the game. A 10th-level character could just overpower everything in his path.”

Rainbow objects again. “What, so you’re pulling punches on us?”

“It’s nothing like that, Dash, but your characters are still green. They haven’t had a taste of what’s out there, and need to get acclimated to their environment.”

I’ll show you who’s green, Rainbow mutters to herself as Twilight reflects upon what to do with ‘Lance’.

“OK Spike,” she finally decides, “you can use ‘Lance’, but mostly as a guide to the others. For this first campaign, I can’t have you joining them on their actual quest; you’ll have to sit this one out.”

“Awww.”

“Don’t ‘awww’ me, Spike. You’re the one who wanted to bring back an old character, rather than start fresh.” Twilight shifts to a friendlier tone: “Anyway, think of this as an opportunity. Your character could be their mentor, using your experience and stories to teach the others how to make their way in this world.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Spike goes into silent contemplation while Twilight’s gaze meets the next pony around the table. “OK Fluttershy, what do you got?”

“OK … um … I have an earth pony druid.” Fluttershy smiles meekly as the others wait, expecting more details. Seconds turn to minutes …

“That’s it?”, Rainbow Dash finally inquires.

“I’m sorry. I’m not so good at being descriptive with my character.”

“Your character sounds fine,” Twilight assures. “So what’s her name?”

“Um … Fluttershy?” Twilight chuckles at the response before appealing to her friend for another option.

“No Fluttershy, you’re supposed to be roleplaying. You can be anypony you like in this world! You don’t want to be yourself in this game, do you?”

“Well … no … I suppose not.”

“All right, so let’s try this again: what is the name of your character?”

“OK then,” Fluttershy replies, “I’ll be Pinkie Pie.”

Fighting the urge to hoofpalm, Twilight appeals to her friend again. “Fluttershy, you can’t just choose to be one of your friends.”

“Why not? This is so WONDERFUL! Now I can be with all my friends and all my friends’ characters! I CAN INTERACT WITH MYSELF!!! So Fluttershy, do I have a stick? I mean, all druids carry a stick, right. Big ol’ wooden walking stick, or maybe a shepherd’s crock. Yeah, I can have an army of sheep! I HAVE WOOD FOR SHEEP!!!” Pinkie Pie’s continued excitement over now being in the game, coupled with her now bouncing in her seat in anticipation, causes Twilight to give up changing Fluttershy’s mind and turn to the next pony around the table.

“Let’s just move on. Rarity, let’s hear about your character.”

There is noticeable pride to go with the usual regality in Rarity’s voice as she starts. “My mare is ‘Midnight Radiance’, and she is a unicorn mage. She is fully prepared for this adventure, decked out in rich woolen robes of purple and dark blue. Here, Twilight, I brought along sketches for your records.”

Rarity levitates a sketchbook to Twilight, who starts hoofing through the pages. “Rarity, how much time did you spend on this?”

“Oh, not much time on this one. I’ve actually been thinking about what everypony else might be wearing. I’m thinking there might be a market for clothing of this nature.”

“Hold on,” Rainbow protests. “You mean to tell me you think ponies would want to dress up in costumes just to play a game?” She then grins. “I think you’ve inhaled a little too much glue over the years.”

Yes, like you’d know anything about fashion, Rarity ponders. Twilight, eager to start, turns to the last of her friends.

“OK Pinkie, I can’t wait to hear what you’ve come up with!”

Pinkie grins, her eyelids half-closed as her eyes dart about the room, as she speaks. “My character is known only as ‘Crumbs’ … because she always turns up in out-of-reach areas nopony can get to. She’s a pegasus thief, skilled with the crossbow as well as the knife. She’s mysterious, secretive … and a really good baker!”

“Sounds to me like Crimson’s got a new best friend,” Rainbow offers.

“We’ll see,” Pinkie responds coyly. “Crumbs has been a loner her whole life; it’ll take more than a big grin or a friendly greeting to sway her.”

Satisfied that they are ready to begin, Twilight continues. “OK, now that we’ve gone through all the introductions, we can get on with the game. Allow me to paint a picture for you. *ahem* Welcome to the castle-city of Hoofbend, capitol to the kingdom of Derbyshire. Lance Skyslice has heard about the tales of each of your characters, and has you all brought to one of the city’s local watering holes, the Horse’s Head Tavern. The five of you are meeting each other for the first time, and—“

“Hold on Twilight.”

Twilight raises an eyebrow. “Yes, Rainbow?”

“Crimson pulls out her sword and attacks Blood Pumkpin!”

King's Quest

“What in tarnation do you think you’re doin’, Rainbow Dash!?!”

“Sorry Applejack, but I play to win.”

“NO, NO, NO!!!” Twilight’s pleas attract Rainbow’s attention, along with that of everyone else around the table. “Rainbow Dash, this isn’t how role-playing games work! Your object isn’t to beat your fellow players; it’s to work together with them, using each others’ strengths and abilities for the greater good of the party.”

“Oohhhhh …” Twilights explanation reaches her intended target, as Rainbow turns to Applejack to apologize. “Sorry … I’m still figuring out how this game works. Can you forgive me?”

Applejack warmly accepts the apology. “Shoot, no harm no foul. So Twilight, now what?”

Twilight rechecks her notes, then picks up where she left off. “The five of you are meeting each other for the first time, getting to know one another. Soon, Crumbs is approached by who appears to be a member of the town’s royal guard.”

“I WASTE HIM WITH MY CROSSBOW!”

Twilight hoofpalms as she groans, before responding to the action. “Pinkie Pie! What are you doing?!”

“What, don’t we gain experience from defeating other characters? He’s not in our party.”

“Pinkie, if Carrot Top or Berry Punch walked up to you, would you attack them?”

“Well of course not, silly, I’m friends with then.” Pinkie’s demeanor shifts from light-hearted to serious: “But Crumbs is friend to nopony.”

Fluttershy asks innocently, “But wouldn’t Pinkie Pie be friends with Crumbs?”

“Well sure, since I’m friends with everypony … but Crumbs is friends with nopony, so if Pinkie and Crumbs got together, then they would be friends … but no, they wouldn’t be friends, but then … or maybe they would be … but then again … uh oh …” Pinkie starts to convulse in her seat, before falling backwards and passing out. The others quickly rush to her aid.

“Pinkie, wake up! Are you OK?” Twilight’s voice, along with her shaking of her supine friend, causes Pinkie to quickly come to.

“Whoa … sorry about that, everyone,” Pinkie groggily replies. “Well something has to give, so I guess Crumbs can be friends with at least someponies.”

Twilight lets out a sigh of relief as the others return to their seats. She returns to behind her screen and continues. “So anyway, this member of the guard—“

“I WASTE HIM WITH MY—”

“NO NO NO!!! Pinkie, I’m begging you to just follow the guard and let the story play out. Trust me, you’ll have plenty of opportunity to show your mettle.”

“Oh all right,” Pinkie agrees. “I’ll be nice. But remember: Crumbs is friends with only a select few ponies … like Pinkie Pie! Aaaand, probably all you guys, too.” She grins broadly, while Twilight wipes a bead of sweat from her forehead.

“Anyway, the guard asks all five of you to follow him to meet with King Gaitlyn. You follow him out the tavern’s entrance, to find a half-dozen stallion guard escort. You are then led through the city streets, passing by numerous shopkeeps and vendors who are all plying their trade with the various peasants. All around, you can see the sentries of the day, pacing back and forth along the ramparts …”

Twilight’s flavor-text lasts for ten minutes, as the party is escorted all throughout the city. Rainbow fights to suppress a yawn while the others look on in anticipation of where the scene will lead. At long last, the fivesome find themselves at the entrance to the castle’s majestic throne room.

“You are led through the ornate oaken double-doors into the heart of the castle. A dozen elite guards line the carpet leading up to a throne on the far side of the room, where King Gaitlyn sits and keeps a watchful eye, Lance standing at his side. Rich tapestries and open windows line the great walls of the room. You are all humbled as you walk down the aisle toward the king.”

Twilight lowers her vocal register as she attempts to speak as King Gaitlyn. “Ah, good. At long last we meet. Lance has told me much about you.’ ”

“I have?” Spike asks innocently.

“Of course,” Twilight assures Spike in her normal voice. As the latter contemplates how much more ‘his’ character has done without his knowledge, Twilight continues in her ‘king’ voice. “I have summoned you here, because I have need of your services. The task could be fraught with peril, but I have the utmost confidence in all your abilities to see this through.”

“Oh … this sounds big,” Fluttershy comments. “What do you need us to do?”

“I am needed in Stonebridge for an annual meeting with the local nobility regarding various affairs of Derbyshire. Recently, I have learned through confidants that there is dissent within my own ranks; it has gotten to the point that I cannot be certain who I can trust, even among my own private security detail. I have known Lance here for as long as anypony, and trust him with my life. Thus, I ask of the five of you to provide an escort for me, guaranteeing safe passage through the area. The trip should take but a fortnight, and you will be rewarded for your time and effort.”

An uneasy silence falls over the table, as the six players turn to each other with curious glances. Finally, Rainbow Dash breaks the silence …

“THAT’S IT???”

The question catches Twilight off-guard. “Is … is everything OK, Rainbow?”, she awkwardly asks.

“We spent hours rolling up and creating characters, wandered around this city like we’re on a sightseeing tour, meet the king of the realm, all for a foalsitting adventure? What about the exploration of caverns and dungeons? What about meeting strange and wondrous monsters to defeat in combat?”

“Your characters are too inexperienced to handle really dangerous quests,” Twilight pleads. “You need time to build up your characters to the point that they can take on dragons and liches and undead creatures. The story I got will help you find your way with your abilities, and after several weeks of game time, you’ll be ready for—“

“Several weeks? We’re supposed to spend several weeks just admiring the scenery while King Getalife shares his life story with us?”

“Rainbow Dash, if you’re not interested in this idea, just let the king know. Roleplay your feelings towards his offer, and maybe I can come up with something different for next time.”

Rainbow ponders Twilight’s thoughts. She turns to Pinkie, a sly grin on her face. “Hey Crumbs … you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Yeeeaaahhh …” Pinkie responds with a mirrored grin. “… well, actually no. But I like the way you’re speeeaking right now.”

Rainbow turns back to Twilight. “Your Excellency, I have information regarding the traitors within your ranks!”

“What? Rainbow Dash, what are you—“

“Wait Twilight,” Rainbow counters, “you need to roleplay your reply, right?”

“Oh … yes, of course.” Twilight changes her voice back to that of the king. “Information? This is most intriguing. Come, tell me what you know.”

Rainbow continues. “Crimson walks up to the king and bows. ‘King Gaitlyn … I must be discreet, for the traitors are in this very room. Allow me to whisper their names into your ear.’ ”

“Yes, please tell me. I must know.”

“ ‘Very well.’ Crimson leans over and whispers into the king’s ear: ‘Lance is the traitor, and this is for you.’ *SCHLING* Called shot to the neck; I’m decapitating this bozo!”

Throne Room Blitz

Twilight is rendered speechless at the sudden turn of events. Before she is able to regain composure, Rainbow has completed her rolling of dice: “Nat-twenty! King Gaitlyn’s next role is gonna be the Headless Horse!”

“Hey, Crumbs wants in on this action,” Pinkie asserts excitedly. “I fly into the air, notch a couple arrows, and fire at a pair of guards before they can react.” As she picks up her dice to determine outcomes, the others react accordingly.

“Midnight Radiance casts ‘Magic Missile’ at another pair of guards.”

“Blood Pumpkin pulls out his club and takes a swing at the nearest guard.”

“Pinkie Pie runs to a far corner and hopes this is all a bad dream!” Pinkie gives Fluttershy a look of derision before turning back to her dice. “Looks like I got one of ‘em.”

At last, Twilight regains her bearings and tears in to her friends. “What do you think you’re doing? You’re all newbie characters! You can’t expect to take out a dozen highly-trained guards!”

“I think King Headless would beg to differ,” Rainbow counters snidely.

“A lucky shot,” Twilight grouses, “but you’re not gonna take out all these guards.”

“She’s right about that,” Spike agrees. “And seeing how I’m now pegged as a traitor to the kingdom, may as well see how the other half lives. Lance charges at a row of guards, attempting to ram them like dominoes.” A couple rolls later, and … “one’s out cold, and the others are gonna need a few rounds to come to their senses.”

“Et tu, Spike? OK then …” Twilight proceeds to pick up hooffulls of dice, rolling them behind her screen in crazed eagerness. “The remaining guards quickly engage each pony in combat, two-on-one.”

“I spin around and attack the lead guard attacking my character,” Rainbow counters. She and Twilight continue to roll dice.

“Crimson cuts down another guard, but cannot catch her breath before two more advance on her.”

“I got your back,” Spike declares. “Lance flies in and attempts to tackle the two guards.” Several die rolls and a satisfied expression later … “He incapacitates the two guards, then turns to the ones attacking Pumpkin.”

“Low-level fireball coming online, Twiilght.” Rarity rolls some dice, then groans. “So Twilight, what happens on a fumble?”

Twilight checks her notes and answers coldly. “The fireball shoots over everypony’s head, catching one of the tapestries before exploding. The fire quickly spreads to all along one of the walls, with black smoke billowing from the flames.”

“Guys, we better vamoose before we’re all stuck in this tinderbox.” Applejack’s suggestion is met with nods among the others. “All right Twilight, looks like most the guards are down; we’re gettin’ out of here before the flames spread throughout the whole room.”

“As you make a break for the entrance, you find another dozen guards running in to block your path. Sorry Rainbow,” Twilight notes upon seeing her friend roll her eyes in frustration, “but did you really think you could just attack the king like that and get away with it?”

“Pinkie!”, Rainbow calls out.

“Yes?”, both Pinkie and Fluttershy ask in unison.

“Not you, Pinkie, the in-game Pinkie. If you got anything for us, now would be a good time.”

Fluttershy rechecks her character sheet, then acts. “OK, I summon great eagles to fly through the windows and attach the new guards.” She rolls her dice, then utters an ‘uh oh’ before consulting Twilight: “I got a 3. That’s not very good, is it?”

Twilight looks up another table, smiles, and then continues. “The guards’ attention has been drawn to a stampede of chickens outside the entrance to the room.”

“Guess there won’t be any eggs for breakfast for the foreseeable future,” Applejack deadpans.

“A distraction’s a distraction. Twilight, Crimson lowers her head and charges through the crowd of guards and chickens.” Rainbow rolls more dice and raises her forelegs in victory. “Yes! One battering ram comin’ through!”

“Blood Pumpkin casts a Shield spell to keep the pathway clear. Come on, everypony, let’s get out of here!”

Twilight relents, growing more exasperated by the minute. “OK, you all manage to escape the castle proper … but as the last of you exits, more guards give chase and announce to all who hear them ‘The king is dead! Don’t let those ponies escape!’ Before you know it, a mob of peasants attempt to block your path.”

“Twilight,” Spike replies, “I’m directing which way for Crimson to run; I’m leading her to the nearest gate to get out of the city.”

“My head is down and I’m galloping as fast as I can,” Rainbow adds. Pinkie notes that her character follows Lance in the air, while Rarity notes that she casts magic missiles to points in front of the charging Crimson to help clear the way. Applejack and Fluttershy state that their characters follow in the wake.

“Fine,” Twilight remarks, by now completely ignoring her notes, “you eventually get to the gates, but guards are already raising the drawbridge and lowering the portcullis, blocking your path.”

Spike and Pinkie reply that their characters slice at the heavy ropes holding up the bridge, while Rarity notes that her character blasts at the portcullis with more missiles. Applejack notes that her character is casting shielding spells at the party, keeping them from being attacked while they go about their business. The actions cause Twilight to throw her forelegs up in frustration.

“Fine, you win! The bridge crashes to the ground and the iron gate is blasted to bits, allowing the party to escape in its entirety. Congratulations! You all officially wrecked my campaign!”

Rainbow Dash begins scribbling a note while Applejack replies to the comment. “What d’ya mean your campaign? I thought this was all about the players.”

“Do you have any idea how much effort I put into this? I had encounters. Stories. Several weeks’ worth of plotlines. So what do you do? Take out the king of the realm and burn down the castle!”

“Oh dear,” Fluttershy remarks, “all those innocent chickens. That’s just awful.”

“Kinda makes me wonder what fried chicken tastes like.” Applejack’s comment draws stares from the others. “What? Not like this is the real world, you know.”

Before Twilight can respond further, Rainbow Dash passes her the scribbled note. Twilight reads it, looks out at the group, then re-reads the note. “You sure about this?” Rainbow nods, and Twilight sighs again, shaking her head.

“Rainbow, dear, what did you just pass Twilight?”

“You’ll find out soon enough,” Rainbow assures Rarity. “I suggest we head off into the woods and make camp for the night.” The others agree, and soon the group is dining and relaxing.

Fluttershy is first to bring up the group’s current predicament. “So, um, where do we go from here?”

“Good question,” Applejack adds. “I mean, fun is fun, but now we’re all outlaws of the realm. And like Twilight said, we’re all still low-level characters. Sooner or later we’re gonna get caught, and it’ll probably be all our heads in the noose.”

“Hey, you got me, right?”, Spike assures the twosome. “My character’s in this with the rest of you, but he’s experienced. He’ll help you all get through this.”

“Spike,” Twilight interrupts, “could you come with me into the kitchen for a minute. I have some news regarding your character.”

The new piques Spike’s curiosity, and he follows Twilight into the kitchen. Moments later, a loud cry of anguish bellows from behind the closed door.

“What was that all about?”, Fluttershy ponders. Rainbow is quick to answer.

“Oh, Twilight probably just told him that I sliced his character’s throat in the middle of the night.”

Party of Five

Pinkie, Rarity, Applejack and Fluttershy shoot looks of pure shock upon hearing Rainbow’s declaration of Crimson Awesome killing Lance Skyslicer in cold blood. Moments later, Spike barges in from the kitchen and confronts the pegasus, with Twilight following behind.

“WHY???”

“I’m sorry Spike, I really am. But you said it yourself: you’re a wanted traitor, and we’re all too weak to cut it out here for long. But now? All I have to do is present the townsfolk with your head and give them a story about how you forced us to do your bidding, and we’re off the hook.”

Everyone else around the table remains speechless and in shock, while Rainbow continues. “And how about this: in one session, I’ve killed the king AND a 10th-level character. I wouldn’t be surprised if I was already Level 2 after all this. What can I say? That’s what makes Crimson so awesome!”

Silence pervades for a 10-second period that feels like an hour, before Pinkie chimes in.

“Wow, Rainbow Dash, that was just … the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen in a roleplaying game!!! I mean, yeah I’ve only been roleplaying since earlier this evening, but that was still amazing! I gotta say, Crumbs is super-impressed! You ‘n me, kid; we’re gonna go places!”

“Well you have to admit, Spike, that was well-played by Rainbow Dash.” Even Rarity’s voice cannot dispel the anger burning up inside the dragon.

“I spent three years building that character up! Only to see him get back-stabbed by a confidant? Rainbow Dash, you’re supposed to be the embodiment of LOYALTY, for crying out loud!”

“Well, first,” Rainbow points out to Spike, “I will always be loyal to you, to Twilight, to all of you, and to Equestria … in real life. That’s something that will never change. But what’s the point of role-playing if you’re just gonna play yourself, huh? Where’s the fun in that?”

Spike simmers but says nothing as Rainbow continues. “And second, I feel a new sense of loyalty to this group of ponies right here.” She turns to the others. “We’re all in this together now, and this world is ours for the taking! What do you say?”

“I am totally in!”, Pinkie promises.

“Should make for a fun ride,” Applejack adds. “I’m in with ya.”

“As am I,” Rarity states. “I suppose I should read more about this game to get really good with the rules and minutae. Especially if I’m the resident mage of the group.”

Rainbow turns to her pegasus counterpart. “Well Fluttershy? Is Pinkie Pie along for the ride?”

“If I say yes, will you promise not to slit my throat in the middle of the night?” Rainbow nods, and Fluttershy reluctantly accepts.

Rarity looks up at a hanging clock which shows the time approaching midnight. “Goodness, where does the time go. I really should be going; there’s much to do tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I’m not usually away from the farm this late. So, same time next week?”

“Just try to keep Crimson Awesome from coming back!”

The five player-ponies all bid Twilight and Spike a good night before departing, leaving the two alone with their thoughts on the evening. Spike’s anger has since turned to depression, while Twilight has moved on to the ‘acceptance’ stage of her grief.

“Three years I spent building Lance up … I can’t believe this is how he makes his exit from this world.”

“I don’t like how tonight went either, Spike, but I have to hoof it to Rainbow Dash; she won this round … but if she thinks she can just come into this world and take over like she’s the Queen of Derbyshire, she’s got another thing coming. Clear your calendar for tomorrow, Spike; we got work to do.”

Author's Note

Though I'm listing this Fic as 'Incomplete', I don't have any ideas at the present time. If there is enough interest, I'll figure out ways to continue this Fic. Thank you for reading!

Wizards and Warhorses

Author's Note

Despite not being into role-playing games myself, I am a huge fan of the comic "Knights of the Dinner Table". This Fic is my attempt at capturing the essence of that strip. I hope you enjoy.

Wizards and Warhorses

The sun greets Ponyville for another beautiful day. Flying across the rooftops, Rainbow Dash soars over to the Castle of Friendship to see what adventures Twilight Sparkle might have planned.

Upon reaching the castle, she hovers in front of the entrance and raps the door. Rainbow is soon greeted by Spike, who appears preoccupied. “Oh hey Spike. Where’s Twilight.”

“She’s in her bedroom,” Spike replies with a tinge of sadness, “and she’s a little depressed right now.”

The news surprises Rainbow. “Depressed? Nopony should be depressed on a day like this. Lead the way.”

Spike beckons the pegasus in, and the two head to Twilight’s bedroom. They spot the purple alicorn sitting on her bed, reading through an oversized book with a forlorn look on her visage. “Twilight,” Rainbow asks, “is everything OK?”

Twilight looks up and smiles at her friends. “Oh, hey Rainbow Dash.” She then sighs and turns back to the book.

“ ‘Oh hey Rainbow Dash?’ Is that all?”, Rainbow asks in a perturbed manner. Seeing that Twilight is still emotionally vacant, Rainbow then floats over to get a better look at the tome on Twilight’s bed. “So what’s that? Doesn’t look like any Daring Do novel I’ve read.”

Twilight looks up again, this time apologetically. “I’m so sorry Rainbow Dash, I did not mean to just ignore you like that. I was just reminiscing, is all.”

“Reminiscing about what?”

“Before I came to Ponyville, my old friends used to spend one night a week playing this great tabletop game called ‘Wizards and Warhorses’. This book is basically the Ponymaster’s Guide; I was leafing through the pages this morning, and thought about the old weekly game in Canterlot.”

Rainbow scans the pages filled with miniscule text, charts, and images of various creatures. “What’s ‘Wizards and Warhorses’?”

Twilight begins to answer, her voice suddenly filled with enthusiasm. “ ‘Wizards and Warhorses’ is a game set in a fantasy realm, with magic and dragons and …” She notices Spike roll his eyes at her and pauses her thought. “Well, it’s an adventure game, where you would go on fantastic adventures in pursuit of fortune, glory, and honor.”

Rainbow is unconvinced. “Uh, you know that we’ve already been on fantastic adventures, in real life, right?”

“I know,” Twilight admits, “but it’s not like we can enjoy those moments when our lives, and the fate of Equestria, is on the line. The games I played may not compare to real life, but every week we could dive into an alternate reality of our own design, and have all the thrill of wild adventures and puzzle-solving without fear of death for slipping up.”

Her mood brightening, Twilight continues excitedly: “And were there stories! This one time, our party came to a lake deep within a cavern. Well, Lemon Hearts’ character dove right in to the lake, thinking it was a hot spring, but it was a pool of acid.” Twilight struggles to contain a chuckle as she attempts to finish the thought: “She … she was all skeleton by the time she got out!”; unable to contain it any more, Twilight bursts out laughing.

Rainbow and Spike look at each other quizzically while Twilight regains her composure. “Well gee,” Rainbow offers, “if you feel that strongly about it, I guess I could give this game a shot. So how do you win?”

“Oh, there’s no specific end,” Twilight answers, excited anticipation in her voice. “It’s an ongoing quest for greatness. Your character gains experience over time, gaining strength and wisdom in the process.”

“No end? So what, we just keep playing the same game week after week?”

“Our regular Canterlot game went on for many moons, before a TPK broke the group up.” Twilight sighs again, while Rainbow tries to make sense of the unfamiliar acronym.

“She means everyone died,” Spike replies to Rainbow’s curious look. “TPK stands for Total Party Kill.”

Bravado fills Rainbow’s psyche. “Well real or fictional, no one takes out Rainbow Dash. OK Twilight, I’ll give it a shot. Just explain the rules and we can get started.”

Twilight proceeds to pronk about the room like an alicorn Pinkie Pie, spouting ‘thankyou’ a dozen times in quick succession before finally grounding herself. “I’ll get the others, while Spike shows you how to roll up a character. Let’s plan on our first gameplay for the night after tomorrow. Hey, maybe this can become a weekly thing! Oh, I have so much to do, setting up a new adventure, stacking dungeons with monsters and treasures. Now where did I put all those dice …”

Twilight continues to converse with herself as she leaves the room, as giddy as Rainbow can ever remember seeing her friend. “Spike,” she asks, “what have I gotten myself into?”

“Well,” Spike offers, “if you start to get bored, just look for an underground swimmin’ hole. That worked for Lemon Hearts, anyway.”