Potato Goddess

by Sparkletop Rainbows

Rating: teen
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Random, Discord, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1365

Luna ruled over a realm of potatoes as a potato goddess. We all know where this is going

Twilight had an important and serious meeting planned with Luna. She knew Luna was a very serious pony who always accomplished important goals. However, Twilight saw another side of Luna she had never expected to.

Written for this: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/211014/the-cult-of-the-potato/thread/265870/ok-contest

Published 2016-07-22 16:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-07-22 16:20:01 UTC

Praise The Almighty Potato Ruler

Twilight Sparkle walked through the halls of the Canterlot Castle. She and Luna had a meeting together about the growth and civilization of Equestria. They both had to work on trying to plan out how to take care of the population. Twilight had a folder flying in the air, powered by her magic. It contained all the information she and Luna needed to do discuss the topic and prepare. Twilight also already had some rough drafts and outlines she'd like to share.

"Luna?" Twilight knocked the door. No answer came. Twilight tested the knob and opened the door. It was all quiet and tidy inside. "Luna?" Twilight asked again, yet again receiving no answer. She checked all over the room to find her. Where could she be? Twilight thought. It was not like Luna to be late to an important meeting. She was more of a serious type of pony who takes matters seriously.

Suddenly, random sounds echoed through the rooms. Twilight's ears perked up as she tried to follow it. "It seems to be coming from Luna's bathroom," Twilight said to herself. She went over and knocked on the bathroom door. "Luna? Are you in there?" Twilight asked. "You know we have a meeting!"

Still no answer. "Luna, this isn't funny!" Twilight said pressing her face against the wooden door. "I know you're in there!"

No answer, but the random sounds still echoed through the walls of the room. "Luna?" Twilight knocked again. "Luna!" She waited for a few moments before getting impatient. Twilight opened the knob and barged in. However, she wasn't prepared for what awaited her.

"EVERYPONY MUST PRAISE THE POTATO GODDESS!" Luna yelled in her loudest voice. She sat on a throne made of potatoes. On top of her head, there was a big, pointy carved potato crown instead the usual small, black crown. Luna wore a big potato sack over her body. The sky was colored in a pattern of light blue and blue, and potato chips of all flavors rained down. The floor was colored in a pattern of pink and light pink.

Twilight stood there, shocked. She couldn't process what was going on. "L-Luna?" She questioned, twitching her eye. Over to her left, Twilight spotted a tall, white pony wearing a banana suit. "Celestia? Is that you?"

The banana pony walked towards her. She wore a bemused expression and sighed. "Yes, it is, Twilight," Celestia said in a monotone. "You're probably wondering what's going on, based on the looks of it. Today is Luna's birthday."

"It is?" Twilight asked. She suddenly felt guilty for forgetting her own friend's birthday.

"And she made me guilty for all those years I didn't take notice of her, so now she wants to be a potato goddess and wants to have her own potato realm," Celestia explained, still wearing a bemused look.

"Is Discord on this?" Twilight asked, expecting a yes. It was just like Discord to do something completely random like this. Even though he was reformed, Discord was still a trickster inside who loved to pull pranks on other ponies. Especially the princesses.

"Surprisingly, no. Luna has just taken on a sudden interest in potato. Don't worry, I think it's just a phase," Celestia replied.

"No, it's not!" Luna yelled in the background.

Celestia shook her head. In her peripheral vision, Twilight could spot a pink blur moving. Twilight took her attention of Celestia for a minute and tried to get a closer look at the blur. When her vision sharpened, she realized that it was her friend, Pinkie Pie.

"Pinkie?" Twilight asked. "What's she doing here?" Pinkie also spotted Twilight and bounced to meet her.

"Hiya, Twilight!" Pinkie greeted. Pinkie was dressed in a chocolate cupcake suit. "I'm here because I heard there were potatoes!"

Twilight just shrugged it off, knowing that it was just Pinkie. But before she could move, a loud voice boomed across the realm.

"YOU THERE, ARE YOU NEW? YOU ARE NOT WEARING A SUIT!" Luna's horn lit up with magic, and Twilight was suddenly wearing a large lemon suit. It covered up almost her whole body, making her look like a big, fat weird ball thing. Twilight's head was pressed into the suit, and her legs stuck out, looking stout.

"Ahhh!" Twilight almost fell without balance. "Hey, why am I a lemon?"

Luna shrugged. "Eh, it fits your personality.

"Oh, because I'm always so sour all the time?" Twilight asked, irritated. "Discord would love this," she muttered under her breath.

"NOW DANCE BEFORE ME, PEASANTS!" LUNA DEMANDED. "DANCE!!!"

Celestia and Pinkie started dancing, looking insanely stupid in their suits. Twilight was reluctant, she didn't want to dance.

"YOU," Luna pointed her potato staff towards Twilight. "WHY AREN'T YOU DANCING?!"

"B-but I don't wanna dance," Twilight said in a nervous tone, shying away. She didn't want to embarrass herself, knowing that her suit was the most stupidest of them all.

"You should really listen to her," Celestia said. "You don't want to upset her, especially on the day where she can treat ponies any way she wants to."

"I SAID DANCE, PEASANt!!!" Luna screamed in her lud booming tone. "DANCE!!!"

"O-okay," Twilight replied, scared. She awkwardly started to move her legs. But her weight got pushed to a side, and she tumbled down the patterned hills. Twilight screamed in fright. She was literally a big lemon rolling away. "HEEEEELP!"

Suddenly, Twilight stopped. Something squishy was beneath her. When she turned to see what it was, there were mushy potatoes was little arms and legs mashed up together. "I'm okay!" She yelled.

"MY SUBJECTS! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Luna yelled, suddenly appearing next to Twilight. Celestia and Pinkie appeared next to her as Luna cried over her potato subjects. She took a particular mushy potato, whispering to it quietly so that the others wouldn't hear.

"YOU HAVE DISHONORED ME, I BANISH YOU FROM MY LAND FOREVER!" Luna yelled angrily.

"Nooooo! Take me with youuuu!" Celestia cried, trying to reach for Twilight, but she was too late. Luna kicked her out of the realm and locked the bathroom door.

Twilight felt for her rump and got up on her hooves. "Hello, Twilight, I've been expecting you," a familiar voice said.

"Discord?!" Twilight said.

"I see you have entered Luna's potato realm," Discord said.

"So it was you who gave Luna the interest in potatoes!" Twilight accused.

"Oh, Twilight, always the one to pin the blame on others. If you were a fruit, you would be a lemon," Discord said, making Twilight give him a cold hard stare. "I did absolutely nothing."

"Absolutely nothing..." Discord smirked.

Two weaks earlier...

Luna had papers scattered all over her desk. She was writing out all her plans that she had to discuss with Twilight. Luna took these meetings very seriously and had been working on it until she had a perfect plan to share.

"Hello, Luna," Discord magically teleported to her side.

"Not now, Discord," Luna said without lifting her eyes off of the papers.

"There's a potato sale going on in the market today," Discord began. "I thought you'd like to join me."

"Any day but today," Luna said, her focus still remained on her papers.

"I'll leave you alone if you come," Discord offered.

Luna groaned. "Fine, but you better do. This meeting is important for all of Equestria." Discord and Luna teleported to the market. Discord led her to where the potato sale was gong on Luna observed the potatoes for a while without interest. She turned to find Discord, but he was nowhere to be seen. "Discord?" Luna asked, walking around the market.

She turned her glance to a basket of potatoes. But before she could look away, she saw the one... Her eyes were big, filled with hearts. There was a stallion picking up potatoes, trying to see which ones were good. We were meant to be... Luna thought. She ran towards where the stallion was, her heart racing. She shoved the stallion aside and took a potato in her hooves, gently cuddling it.

"Our destiny was to be together," Luna whispered to the potato. "Together we will rule a realm of potatoes!"