Nunchucks' trolltasic short stories

by Chuckward

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Tragedy, Main 6, Big Macintosh, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Romance, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 1197

A few comedic shorts.

A compilation of short stories I'm writing.

Published 2012-08-01 08:34:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-01 08:34:01 UTC

Chapter 2: Equestrian Midget Tossing

The lights flashed as ponies shuffled into their seat and began to wait for the show to begin. Excited crowd members were either cheering, sitting in absolute silence simply waiting with varying patience for the event to begin, talking in loud ecstatic tones toward the person next to them, explaining just who whey wanted to win, or sitting with crossed hooves praying to Celestia that the person they bet on would come out on top.

After a few minutes an announcer informed the crowd that the show was about to start. This was met by a torrential downpour of cheers. The camera started rolling.

"Hello and welcome to equestrian national midget-tossing!I'm Howard Coltsel and this is my co-commentator Michael Colt"

"Hey Howard it's great to be here, now let's watch some midget tossing."

Applejack stepped up to the platform and looked out at the field, it was rather similar to a horseshoe game, with the object being to get the midget as close to the pole as possible. The pole itself is about twenty hooves away.
Applejack grabbed a midget out of the cage next to her and got into the correct position holding the midget as if she was about to swing a golf club. She swung and released the midget into the air. The fat retarded soared through the air and was impaled on the pole. A perfect shot!

"Oh my god a perfect shot. Truly this is why applejack is the favorite to win."

"It sure is Howard, and I'd like to add that it's a good thing midgets aren't real people or this would be deplorable!"

" That it most certainly would."

" Competing now is the runner up from our last competition, Rainbow Dash."

Dash stepped up to the platform and grabbed an ugly midget. Her wings were tied down because in past competitions she had used them to create gusts of wind to push the repulsive midgets a little farther when it became evident that her toss was going to come up a little short. Dash got into a throwing position of her own, one similar to the position used to throw a discus. She let the midget fly.

It let out shrill cries for help as it spun through the air, unfortunately the spinning caused the midget to release a stream of projectile vomit which sent it off course, landing just short of the pole.

"Oh! Rainbow came up just short of Applejacks score meaning she is out of this contest!"

" The hell I am!" yelled an angry Rainbow Dash who began blindly tossing midgets in the general direction of the pole. When she ran out of midgets she looked to see that none of the midgets had been impaled on the pole.

" Motherbucker!"

After Rainbow was escorted out by security guards the final competitor stepped up to the platform, it was an extremely muscular white Pegasus with a buzzcut.

" Are you ready to toss some midgets?"

"YEAH!"

And with that he chucked the gay looking midget as hard as he could sending it not
Only flying past the metal pole, but out of the whole arena itself and impaling it on the equestrian flagpole three
Hundred yards away!

"My what an impressive shot but unfortunately it was out of bounds meaning you are disqualified, applejack is the winner!!!"

" My that was an amazing competition. I'm Howard Coltsel."

"And I'm Michael Colt, see you next time."

After that closing line the show went off the air. Remaining ponies were Either cheering or booing but there was a reaction nonetheless. A few ponies angrily ripped up gambling tickets or simply sat down and stared at the floor, shocked at having spent their life savings on the wrong competitor.
Slowly but surely everyone left the arena, and the crew packed up all of their equipment and set off towards their next live event.

Author's note

Well those were two of many short stories. I put them here because even though I love them, I can't make them reach the thousand word minimum without making them dull or boring. Besides even if through some incredibly unlikely miracle I was able to stretch them out I still feel like these were destined to be short stories based off of the idea alone. Besides that making these little minifics longer would require that I actually get off my ass and try, and since my ass is comfy right where it is, that just cannot happen.

I hoped you like them.

Please leave any criticism, stories you'd like to see in the future, or just wacky comments.

By the way I heard a rumor that everytime you post a funny picture in the comments section, you totally get laid.

Chapter 1

Big Macintosh couldn't believe the beauty he was beholding, so elegant and practically radiating kindness.

Truly Elliot Hogwash was a beautiful pig.

He'd been suppessing these feelings for a while, complete, unfaltering love for his beloved Elliot. Truly everything about Elliot only proved to make him fall deeper in love with the pig, be it his soft brown hair, or his dazzling cyan eyes that seemed to tell the simple pig's entire life story simply with a sparkle. But Big Mac was not a shallow pony, and he loved the pig's personality as well, how sweet he was toward everypony, and how well he was with children as well as the elderly.

Mac had previously decided that today would be the day he finally expressed his feelings and he slowly approached the pig albeit a bit shakily due to his natural shyness. As he moved toward the one he would soon be pouring his heart out to, feelings of doubt began to cross his mind.

What if he just laughs in my face? After all I havent even told Applejack that I'm into stallions and now I'm about to pour all my feelings toward sompony who might not even be gay.After much inner turmoil he decided to continue.I gotta be strong after all, it's what I'm best known for.

Upon reaching the devilishly handsome pig he politely waited for the conversation that Elliot was currently having with pip to end. Once pip had turned around and left he tapped the pig in front of him on the shoulder to gain his attention..

"Yes?" said Elliot expectantly in that beautifully exotic accent that Mac loved ever so much.

Mac hesitated at first but soon found the courage to express himself.

"Well Elliot I'm not quite sure how to say this but...well...I love you, I have ever since I laid eyes on you. I know you might not be into the same kind of thing I am but I feel like if I hadn't told you this I'd have eventually torn myself apart."

Elliot's expression turned to one of confusion as he thought about what would be the best way to reply.Finally upon deciding what to say he opened his mouth to speak.

"Well Big Mac you just lost The Game and so did everyone who read this."

Lol Big Mac's initials are B.M. 3~