Author's Note

Since the last story was hated so much, have more of 'Emo Dash'
Once again I wrote this some time ago.

Contains depression, self harm and suicidal thoughts.

Don't like it? Don't read it!

Old habits

Twilight left through the mirror for the second time. Another problem solved. Another time they saved the world. Or school.
Another time where Rainbow Dash couldn't bring herself to tell Twilight about her feelings. Another time where she didn't ask her to stay for a bit so they could spent some time. Another time where she fucked up.

Her friends were happy, of course. They were going to celebrate with another few songs, written by Fluttershy. When her friends noticed that she just sat on the edge from the stage, her guitar in her hands, staring off into the night sky, Applejack came over to her.

"Hey there sugarcube. You ready to play another round?"

"Sure." She answered emotionless. As she stood on her feet, she saw Sunset Shimmer writing in the book that passes notes to Twilight.

"Hey Sunset, you coming?"

"In a minute."

They got into their positions and started playing. Even though Rainbow tried to keep up with the others, she still felt the cold, nagging sorrow in her heart. After the songs were finished and they packed their instruments, Applejack came up with an idea.

"How 'bout we all go get some milkshakes to celebrate?"

The others around her cheered. Dash just kept silent and shut her guitar case. The others already went down the stage.

"Dash, you comin'?"

"I dunno.. maybe I'll just go home.."

"Come on Dashie! Don't you wanna celebrate our victory?!" Pinkie suddenly stood in front of her, pulling her down as she teared on her T-shirt, placing her head over Dashs and meeting her face to face.

"Pinkie!" Pinkie let go off her.

"Upsi, sorry!"

"You really wanna chicken out?" Applejack teased.

"No.. I just..."

"Come on Dashie! I bet some coooooool milkshakes will make that frown upside down!"

Dash sighed and followed. She didn't feel like company right now. The only one who seemed to keep her real company was her sorrow. The others were talking, but she didn't bother listening. When she finally got home it was almost midnight. Her parents must have been asleep for hours. They would ask her tomorrow how the concert went. Probably.
She went upstairs into her room, placed her guitar in the corner where it always stood, undressed and jumped into her bed. Still she couldn't stop thinking about Twilight. She imagined her next to her in the bed, how they would cuddle with each other. The thoughts brought a smile on her face. But it faded not long after it appeared, as she snapped out of it and remembered that Twilight was.. gone.
Gone..
She was gone... She wouldn't be there tomorrow. She wouldn't come back..
Not if another freaking creature came that would turn every student in her school into mindless zombies.
What a world...

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

"Urgh..."

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

"Shut up.. I'm awake.."

Dashs hand met the button that shut off the alarm of her alarm clock. Moaning she wrapped herself in her blanked again. A few moments later her door opened. Fast steps came nearer to her bed.

"Come on Rainbow Dash! Do you want to be late for school again?!"

Dash groaned in annoyance.

"Okey okey I'm up okey?!"

"I sure hope so. Come on lazy head, breakfast is ready." Her mother left the room.

"Okey mum!" She called after her.

Slowly she unwrapped herself from the blanket. She sat up, rubbing her eyes. Then she got up and grabbed some clothes out of her wardrobe.
Dressed in a blue shirt and black skirt she walked into the kitchen. Her father was reading today's newspaper while drinking his usual morning cup of café and her mother was filling a bag with lunch for Dash.

"Morning, dad." She said slowly, as if unsure if he was even there. Not looking up from his newspapers he responded with a simple

"Morning."

Her mother brought her the bag and a plate with a slice of toast. Dash grabbed the toast and ate it in ten seconds flat. Then she took her bag and went back upstairs to put it into her schoolbag. She glanced at her alarm clock to check the time while packing her things as she noticed she had to run to the bus again if she didn't want to be late.. again. Putting on her schoolbag she rushed down the stairs, not bothering to say her goodbyes to her parents, and ran outside. The front door had to be closed by her mother for the third time this week.

Rainbow made it to the bus station in time today. She soon found her seat next to Applejack like on every other day.

"Mornin' Sugarcube. Good ta see ya before school starts."

"Heh, yeah. What can I say? It takes its time to be so awesome."

"Ya just didn' get up, that's what took the time."

"Hey-!"

"Ya know that it's the truth just as much as Ah do."

The rest of the ride was pretty silent. As Rainbow looked out off the window, she imagined Twilight to be at the school entrance smiling at her. For a second Dash smiled back but reality broke it soon after again.

"Hey, Sugarcube! Come on we have to go inside!"

She was so focused on looking outside, she didn't notice that they were already standing at the school. Not wasting another minute, she grabbed her schoolbag and they walked into the school.

In each lesson, Rainbow was never focused. She never had been focused before, but this time her thoughts were with Twilight. She was only gone yesterday and she missed her as if she had been gone for months already. But... wouldn't she be gone for months? If not years! Maybe she would never come back...!

RRRRIIIIIIINNNNNGGGG!!!!

The school bell brought her out of her thoughts. Recess. That's just what she needed... More time where she would only think about how much she missed Twilight and how she would never see her again...

Dash sat on one side of the statue where Twilight comes and goes through. That was probably all she would do for the rest of the break. She couldn't stop thinking about Twilight. She stared sadly on the ground.

"Rainbow Dash? Are you okey?"

She looked up, seeing her friend Fluttershy sitting herself next to her.

"Yeah.. sure.."

The rest of her friends stood all around her, sharing worried glances with each other.

"Dash what's wrong? Are you not feelin' well? You gettin' sick or somethin'?"

"No.. maybe... I dunno..."

Fluttershy peeked inside Dashs schoolbag that she didn't bother to close and saw her lunch bag untouched. She gasped.

"You haven't eaten? Are you sure you're okey?"

"Hey, just because I'm normally the one who asks first if anyone is hungry, Doesn't mean it that I'm always into food!"

They were taken aback at her sudden outburst.

"I-I'm sorry... I d-didn't mean to..."

Dash sighed.

"Maybe I'm really getting sick..."

"Maybe you should get home and get some rest, Darling."

"Yeah, I'll bring you home. Won't letcha go all on yer own." Applejack added, softly punching Dashs arm.

"Yeah.. I guess..."

"Thanks for going home with me, AJ."

"No problem Sugarcube. Are your parents at home?"

"No. They are at work until noon."

"Should I stay with ya?"

"Nah.. I'll be fine."

"Alright. Don't hesitate to call me if somethin comes up, key?"

"Key."

They waved their goodbyes. Applejack headed to her home and Dash went inside, closing the front door. Throwing her schoolbag against the wall, it plumped down with a thud. Dash let herself fall onto her bed. She was alone.. This was not helping her situation... Now she wouldn't stop thinking about..
Twilight why do you have to be so bucking cute..?!
She felt her eyes water up and immediately shut them close. She was Rainbow Awesome Daring Dash! She wasn't some stupid.. some crying.. some... actually, she didn't really know what she was anymore... All she felt was emptiness and the pain in her heart. She couldn't think. She wasn't hungry. The others had school, so she couldn't call them on their phone.
She Could call or message Applejack

...but for some reason she didn't want to. She just stared at her ceiling and waited as time went by. What was she waiting for anyways? Twilight wasn't coming back, her parents wouldn't want to talk with her and she didn't want to talk to anyone...

She was lost. Lost in nothingness. Lost in her sorrow that was eating her inside.

Soon she found herself in the bathroom, staring into the mirror. She felt as if her reflection was talking to her.

"You are such a loser. No wonder Twilight doesn't feel anything for you. Otherwise she would have stayed. You are so pathetic and think you are the coolest. Some people just never learn."

Her reflection was holding a blade in her hands as she said that last sentence. Dash saw how her reflection brought it to her arm and, with a bit pressure, made a cut around her wrist on the upper side. The blood flowing down her hand brought her back to reality.

She stared at the wound and blood and dropped the blade. What just happened?!

She washed the blood away with water. Since she was already in the bathroom, she grabbed the first aid kit and wrapped a bandage around her wrist. Once the shock was over, she let herself fall on the floor, sitting in the middle of the room she looked at her bandaged wrist, then up to the mirror again. Was she really getting into that again?

She looked at her arms. Looking closely, she saw her old cuts that almost healed and faded over the time. It had been years ago. The time when she didn't have friends and got bullied in her primary school. They had made fun of her colorful hair, so she had dyed them in pitch black. Always dressed in black with collar and bracelets. She wasn't getting liked more, but they didn't make fun of her anymore. But even though it was better in school, she couldn't just stop harming herself.

The sound of her phone getting messages brought her back out off her thoughts. She got up, stashed the aid kit and got into her room. Grabbing her phone, she noticed that her friends were out off school since half an hour. Time sure had passed.
She got into the chatroom she had with her friends.

"Hey Rainbow Dash! How r u doing???" - Party Pinkie

"Darling, are you awake?" - Fashion Queen

"Don't wake her up" - Fluttershy

Dash chuckled a bit. She started typing.

"Hey guys, what's up?" - Awesomness in Person

"Dashiiiiiiiieee!!!" - Party Pinkie

"Hey sug', how are you doing?" - Applejack

She hesitated, looking at her bandaged wrist.

"I'm fine, thx" - Awesomness in Person

"Good to hear. Would be boring without you in school" - Applejack

"Agreed." - Fashion Queen

"School is all lame-o without our Dash-o!" - Party Pinkie

"Heh, thanks guys" - Awesomness in Person

"You had us really worried" - Fluttershy

"Sorry about that, Shy" - Awesomness in Person

"Oh it's alright, I'm just glad you're okey" - Fluttershy

Dash switched off her phone. She heard the front door open. Her parents are back already?

"Dash! Your school called me that you're at home early! I hope for you that you're at home and not hanging around with your friends when you're TOO SICK to stay at school!"

Her mother didn't sound very happy..

"I'm here!"

She heard steps coming up and walking towards her room. Dash laid in her bed and wrapped herself in her blanket before the door opened.

"So. What reason did you have this time to skip school? Don't you get that it's important for you to go to school, especially now with the final exams coming up?!"

"I know... I just couldn't concentrate on anything and don't feel all too well..."

Her mother glared at her, then saw the lunch bag in her still halfway opened schoolbag. She walked over and pulled it out.

"Couldn't concentrate huh?! Well it's no wonder if you don't eat!"

She threw the bag against Dash. Then she left the room and slammed the door shut.

The calm before the storm.

She stayed up in her room until her dad came home from work. She could already hear them. Her mother was telling him what a disappointment she was. She heard hard steps coming towards her door. She closed her eyes and sat up on her bed.

The door opened.

"Rainbow Dash I can't believe you skip school because you don't eat. You sabotage yourself on purpose to leave school early? That's not how we raised our daughter!"

He came nearer...

"I am disappointed in you. You stupid little shit!"

THRACK!

His hand landed with full force on her upper back between her shoulders. All she could do was gasp sharply as she fought back her scream.

He stomped out off her room, slamming the door shut.
Dash finally let the tears flow.