Why Celestia is a Big Dum Dum
"Now you can just sit here and think about the naughty things you've done" Celestia scolded. A not-so-ashamed Miss Twilight Sparkle sat in front her with her hooves crossed. Celestia leaned down to glare at her youngest student. Twilight stuck out her bottom lip in response. Celestia sighed.
"Look Twilight, I've told you not to be rude to my important guests and visitors! Miss Rhodochrosite was trying to sell me some gorgeous jewels from the caves below the castle."
"Miss Prissy Pants was trying to make you buy rubbish you didn't need!" Twilight frowned and turned away.
"Miss Prissy Pants went home with a sprained hoof and paint in her mane!" Celestia growled into Twilight's ear. Twilight giggled quietly. Celestia gave an exasperated sigh. "Just stay out of trouble, OK?" She hissed through her teeth. She stood up and frowned down at her star student. She turned and walked away, slamming the doors behind her with her magic.
Twilight waited until Celestia had walked away and she could no longer hear her hoof steps, then she stuck her tongue out. It's not fair! she thought. Princess Celestia put me in the naughty corner! She is the naughty one! I tried to put Solar Flare in the naughty corner once, and she gave me a smack! That very silly guard was the one telling me that his armour was not for sliding down the hallways with! What else could armour possibly be for? Wearing?
Anger bubbled up inside of her. Twilight stood up and looked around the room. Celestia always said that when something was making her mad, she could always write to her about it. She saw a pile of scrolls in the corner. Excited, she rushed over to grab one, skidding across the floor. She crashed into the pile, sending scrolls crashing down around her. Unfazed, she grabbed a scroll and a quill, and began to write.
Dear Princess Celestia
Princess Celestia is a big, dumb, meanie pants! Miss Prissy Pants was selling her some rubbish and she was actually going to buy it! Sometimes I think she shouldn't be a princess, she gets walked all over by her subjects all the time!
Miss Prissy Pants was showing her some dirty rocks and Celestia was giving her bits so I thought I should save Celestia's bits. So I dropped a water balloon full of paint on top of Miss Prissy Pants' big fat head and it exploded! It was so funny! But Celestia didn't think so. She shouted at me so I threw a flower pot at her. But it hit Miss Prissy Pants on the hoof. I regret throwing it at Celestia now. I wish it hit Miss Prissy Pants on the head! Celestia dropped her bits on the floor and shouted at me. And then I stole her bits.
Celestia is a big dumb stupid head! I want a new foal sitter. She is a very bad meanie. She is like the big bad wolf in the story book I read! Something about three little pigs with golden locks of mane eating porridge. Very good book by the way. No one is allowed to put me in the naughty corner! Princess Celestia even said that to me. She said "you are not allowed to put anyone in the naughty corner Twilight. Do you understand? You are also not allowed to slide down the hallway in Solar Flare's armour." My bum is still sore from when she smacked me! I have never seen anyone smack Celestia on the bum before. Only once. Princess Luna kicked Celestia's flanks and said something about being fat. Then Celestia sent her to the moon! It was fun to watch! Only then Celestia burnt all the history books in the library and rewrote them! I wonder why that was?
Any way, Celestia is completely unfair and you should punish her. That is why Celestia is a big stupid meanie dum dum. I need a new foal sitter!!!
Your favourite student,
Twilight Sparkle
Celestia put the scroll down on her desk, her cheeks dark red as she fumed. Princess Cadence's cheeks were red from laughing.
"That filly has some attitude," Celestia said, grinding her teeth together. "She is in big trouble when she comes out from under that table! Why...why I've half a mind to send her to the moon!"
"Like you did to poor Luna?" Cadence smirked. "Why did you send Luna to the moon, anyway?" Cadence sat down, folding her arms as she waited for an answer.
"Erm...because she was Nightmare Moon! She was jealous!" Celestia started sweating.
"Jealous of what? Your gorgeous flanks that she kicked shortly before you sent her up there?" Cadence teased, levitating the scroll in front of Celestia's face.
Her cheeks flushed red. "I have no idea what you're talking about!"
"Are you calling your star student a liar?" Cadence asked, innocently batting her her eyelashes.
"No, I am not calling Twilight Sparkle a liar," Celestia said, gritting her teeth.
"So it's true then?" Cadence smiled sweetly.
"Shut up!" Celestia snapped. "If you think the little filly is so sweet, you can foal sit her!" Celestia grinned slyly. "But if you're not up to the task I could always just..."
"I'm not up to the task? You're gonna eat your words Aunt Celestia!" Cadence leaned forward so that they were almost touching muzzles.
Celestia licked her lips. "I look forward to it."
Two weeks later, Cadence received a very angry letter from a little Miss Twilight Sparkle, titled:
Why Cadence is a Stupid Good for Nothing Meanie Big Bum Stupid Dumb Princess
By Twilight Sparkle