Starlight Glimmer Looks for Loveby CategoricalGrantChaptersIn Which a Plan is HatchedIn Which Starlight Glimmer Goes Speed DatingIn Which Things Go Terribly WrongIn Which the Mane 6 Provide Awful AdviceIn Which Spike Provides Good AdviceIn Which Things Go Pretty WellIn Which Spike Saves The Day, AgainIn Which a Plan is Hatched“So that’s my plan!” Pinkie Pie chirped from the cavernous crystal map room in the heart of Ponyville’s castle. “It’s perfect!” “Did we reeaaallyyy need to call an emergency meeting for that!? It cut into my nap time,” Rainbow Dash complained from next to Pinkie Pie. “Rainbow Dash,” Rarity scolded, “please at least feign interest in your friends’ ideas.” She turned her attention to her bouncing pink friend, who was barely containing her excitement. “Pinkie, do you really think that finding a special somepony will help Starlight Glimmer feel more at home in Ponyville?” “Abso-tutely-lutely!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed. “Who wouldn’t feel more at home with a dashing young stallion adoring them!? Well, maybe me, but that’s because Ponyville is already at my maximum level of home-ness!” “Pinkie,” Twilight Sparkle said, “Starlight doesn’t need help fitting in! She’s doing great as my student!” “Her only friends besides us are a foalhood crush that lives all the way across Equestria and a kooky, traveling magician,” Pinkie Pie deadpanned uncharacteristically. “Plus, we’ve only seen her like twice this entire season.” “Twice? What… Look, Pinkie, even though she may not be the talk of the town, Starlight is still doing just fine here,” Twilight asserted. “Besides, if this goes haywire and Starlight gets involved with somepony that breaks her heart, she might feel far worse about being here!” “EXACTLY,” Pinkie cried, standing up on her crystal throne. “Either she gets a special somepony and becomes happy, or she is completely crushed and driven into the arms of her close friends,” Pinkie motioned in a circular fashion to make clear precisely whom she was talking about, “who she is then completely dependent on for her emotional health! Either way, Starlight ends up loving Ponyville!” “I don’t like this,” Princess Twilight began, scrunching her muzzle up. “It seems unpredictable, and borderline manipulative.” “Well ah fer one think it’s a great idea,” Applejack hooted from her seat, swinging a hoof enthusiastically. “Ain’t no problem that a lil’ bit of pinin’ fer somepony can’t solve. ‘Sides, it ain’t manipulative if we all want things to go well for her. Good work, Pinkie!” Pinkie Pie tilted her head and flashed a beaming smile. “Alright,” Rainbow Dash groaned, “I want to go home and nap, so let’s just take a vote and get this over with! Do we try and get Starlight Glimmer a special somepony?” “Yessiree!” Pinkie bubbled. “I suppose so…I am a sucker for romance,” Rarity concurred, fluffing her mane with a hoof. “No,” Twilight shook her head, “I don’t think this will be good for anypony involved.” “Ah’m all for it,” Applejack declared. “Fluttershy?” Twilight asked hopefully. “What do you…where’s Fluttershy?” Everypony turned to the doorway, where a crouching Fluttershy was attempting to silently sneak out of the room. She froze as a dozen eyes settled on her. “Uhh…” she croaked quietly, “I don’t know anything about dating or love, so, uh, I abstain?” Twilight bit her lip, realizing her position was becoming increasingly untenable. “Rainbow?” “I DON’T CAAAAARRRRRREEEEEE!” groaned Rainbow Dash, her head hanging upside-down from the side of her throne. “Well, that’s everypony! We win!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Uhhh, are you serious?” a raspy and mildly baritone voice questioned from next to Twilight. “I don’t get a vote?” “Why should you get a vote, Spike?” Rainbow Dash spat at him, wanting everypony to just shut up already so that she could go home. Spike was sitting in his tiny crystal chair next to Twilight, his legs crossed comfortably. “Where do I begin?” He began to count the reasons on one of his claws, “For one, I’m the only male in the room, and none of you thought to consult me about this. Number two, I’m the only one of you that actually bothers to have long, one-on-one conversations with Starlight that give me insight into her personality. Third, I thought I was supposed to be a valued member of the group. Also, I-” “Yes!” Twilight cried, grasping at the final straw of hope that somepony would support her opinion. “Spike deserves a vote! Go on, Spike,” she said, closing her eyes confidently. “I vote yes, it sounds like a fantastic idea,” Spike genuinely offered from his seat. “We should at least encourage her to find somepony on her terms.” The smile melted off of Twilights muzzle and she cracked open an eye. “…What?” “Then it’s settled!” Applejack concluded. Rainbow Dash immediately sped out of the room without so much as a single goodbye. “It is not settled!” Twilight cried maniacally, her mane suddenly unkempt. “This is not a democracy, I am a freaking Princess, and you will listen to me!” Pinkie Pie was the first to respond. “Silly Twilight, you’re completely beholden to the will of the group! We know all of your darkest secrets!” The others nodded in silent agreement. Twilight’s head fell. “Fine. How are we going to do this, then?” In Which Starlight Glimmer Goes Speed DatingAuthor's Note This chapter features the OC's of Revenant Wings, Striker1959, A Model 101 T-800, and CaioCoia. I tried my best to show their characters with what I was given, and I hope I did them all justice! I've decided I'll release individual chapters for this story instead of finishing them all and releasing it as a multi-chaptered 'one-shot' (how's that for an oxymoron?), so keep an eye out for the next chapter in the near future! In Which Starlight Glimmer Goes Speed Dating Starlight Glimmer shifted back and forth on her hooves nervously. “I know that this is going to be a good thing for me, but I’m kinda worried about it now that it’s looming right in front of me…” Twilight Sparkle gave her a forced smile. “Oh, come now Starlight. Everything is going to be fine! The stallions will be falling all over themselves to get to you,” Twilight reluctantly encouraged, gesturing in the direction of the coffee shop. Starlight grimaced. “I’m not so sure. Everypony in town knows that I have a sketchy past…” she dejected, before examining herself briefly. “And I didn’t make myself look presentable for this at all…I didn’t even brush my mane!” Spike broke his silence from Starlight’s left. “Starlight, don’t worry about it. The speed-dating event is completely casual. The even underlined the phrase ‘come as you are’ in the brochure. Besides, you always look great. You’ll knock them dead in there.” Starlight Glimmer gave him a genuine smile and a pat on the head. “Aw, thanks Spike. I can always count on you for reassurance.” Her fidgeting eliminated, she took a deep breath and strode through the doors of the coffee shop. The Princess of Friendship and her Number One Assistant watched their newest friend embark on her new adventure. “…How come she always listens to you and not me!?” “Because you’re her teacher, and I’m her friend. Besides, I have a way with mares.” “Okay ponies!” An overenthusiastic, lilac earth pony mare called, gathering the attention of those who had entered the coffee shop for the private event. “Thank you all so much for coming! I’ve done these events all over Equestria, but it’s always so nice to come back to my hometown and help future special someponies to come together!” The crowd murmured, mostly unenthusiastically. “Recent studies have shown that you can tell if you’re romantically interested in another pony within a minute of first seeing them. So, you will each get 60 seconds to chat with each pony you meet. When time is up, I’ll ring a bell and you’ll have fifteen seconds to mark your card ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ for the pony’s corresponding number before the stallions rotate to the next mare. Then, I’ll collect the cards and inform you of all your matches tomorrow. Okay, take a seat ladies!” Starlight peered around the room and settled on a window seat next to a wall mosaic made of shattered coffee mug fragments. Starlight took this opportunity to scan the room for her competition. There were a few ponies that worried her. One was that darned Raindrops! She had preened her wings especially for the occasion, it appeared, and seemed to be trying out a new manestyle. She also seemed to radiate natural beauty. That, or the sunset filtering through the window behind Starlight was playing tricks on her tired and jealous eyes. Starlight sighed. If she couldn’t match up pony-to-pony on looks, she would have to make sure she really wowed these stallions in conversation. Then there was Cloudchaser, fresh off her latest ‘breakup’ with Thunderlane. They’d be back together within a week, but there were a lot of stallions here that didn’t know that and would probably be blown away by her charm. It was going to be difficult to differentiate herself from the competition. “Okay, now stallions, sit across from our eligible batchelorettes!” Starlight took a deep breath in as a blue stallion with a dark blue mane sat down across from her. He smiled confidently at her. She sheepishly smiled back, unable to make full eye contact. “And…go!” the coordinator cried, ringing a bell and beginning the first 90-second interval. “Noteworthy,” the stallion declared. “And you’re Princess Twilight’s newest buddy, right?” “Uh, yeah,” Starlight replied timidly. “I guess that’s…accurate, yeah.” She really hoped he would be able to develop the conversation further. “Nice. Well, I’m a musician.” “Well, that’s…pretty neat…and outside the flow of normal conversation.” Starlight winced, cursed once again by her tendency to verbalize the awkwardness of others. “Do you like it?” “Eh,” Noteworthy shrugged. “I don’t play too much anymore. I do a lot of record consulting and music marketing. Pays the bills much better.” “Yeah, being a musician can be tricky on its own,” Starlight agreed halfheartedly. “Do you have any other hobbies, or-“ “Sure do. I have a bobblehead collection. Have shop-exclusive bobbleheads from almost fifty cities across Equestria. You?” “Oh, uh, no bobbleheads. I enjoy reading…and relaxing…I used to do some other stuff too, but, uh, I don’t anymore.” Starlight mentally facehoofed at her own verbal tail-chasing. Noteworthy regarded her with the same cheeky smile with which he began. “Solid. I like you.” Starlight’s ears flopped against her head. For now, she was unwilling to return the compliment. “Yeah, I, uh, I-It’s been interesting to meet you. So, do you have a favorite food, or-“ A ringing bell interrupted Starlight. “Quickly everypony,” the coordinator cried, “mark your cards and rotate!” “I hope to see you soon,” Noteworthy winked. He trotted off to the next table, apparently already having filled out Starlight’s checkbox. Starlight groaned lightly, more in pain than in frustration. He was an average-looking pony. He wasn’t obnoxious or mean, but she didn’t really feel any immediate connection to him. It had been difficult to hold a conversation with him, she was interrupted by him a few times, and they didn’t really share any interests. Starlight found the row corresponding to the number on Noteworthy’s nametag and scratched in a light X in the ‘No’ column. The night was early, and she could afford to be picky for now. If she really needed to, she could always erase what she had written in before she turned in her card at the end of the event. The next stallion sat down across from her; a white pegasus with a nondescript brown mane, blue eyes and a somewhat intimidating frame. The bell rang. “I’m Starlight Glimmer,” Starlight began, taking the initiative. “What’s your name?” “I go by Revenant Wings, ma’am,” the stallion replied in a friendly, if not somewhat stiff manner. Starlight was taken aback. “Wow, that’s, uh, very formal. What do you do?” Revenant Wings looked away, slightly embarrassed. “I’m actually a royal guard. Sometimes my, uh, work mannerisms bleed over into my day-to-day life.” Starlight sat up intently. Her ears perked up as well. “Oooooh, a royal guard? What do you do on a daily basis?” “Too much to tell in under 60 seconds…Besides, if I told you, I’d have to kill you.” Starlight Glimmer clicked her tongue at him when the faintest hints of a grin tugged at one side of his mouth. “The ruthless secret government actor bit…Overplayed, but I have to be honest and tell you that you kinda made it work.” The stallion scratched the back of his head with a hoof, the grin threatening to break free and take over his muzzle. “And what do you do?” “I sort of…work with Twilight Sparkle. Too much to explain in a short amount of time, and it may or may not be ‘have to kill you’ type stuff.” She grinned at Revenant Wings, but was met with a sincere expression from him. “You work with Princess Twilight? I’ve never met her, but the other guards speak very highly of her. If she chose you, that’s a great honor. You must be very talented.” A blush exploded across Starlight’s face and she began to play with her mane. “Well, I don’t know if-“ The bell rang. “Fill out and switch!” Starlight Glimmer immediately checked the ‘Yes’ box. He was cute, somewhat of a looker, and she could converse with him so easily…up to, and including, witty banter! By the time she looked up from her card, a new stallion had taken Revenant Wings’ place, a deep green earth pony stallion with a dark, golden mane and a set of piercing purple eyes. The bell rang. Starlight just stared. Whoever this was, he was a beautiful creation. “Hey there, I’m Bank Run. Who might you be?” He asked steadily, peering at Starlight with curious eyes.” “Starlight Glimmer,” she choked out. “Charmed to make your acquaintance,” Bank Run smiled. “What do you do?” “Uhh…” Starlight drawled, needing several moments to prepare a response with her slowed mental processes. “I work with Twilight Sparkle, sort of.” “Really?” Bank Run asked, his ears perking up. “As in, the Princess? Wow! Here I am, thinking I’m successful because I started a little investment firm a town over with my buddies…And you’re working with a Princess every day! Do you like it?” “I do! Sort of. I mean, I have to do a lot of things that are out of my comfort zone, but it’s good for me, I suppose. “ Bank Run leaned back. “I get that, I suppose. Life is hard work sometimes.” Starlight finally summoned the courage to smile at him. “You can say that again.” “Nah, I don’t want to waste any more time talking about philosophical concepts when I could be learning more about you.” Starlight’s eyes widened and she sat back, dumbfounded. “J-just about me?” The bell rang. “You all know the drill!” Starlight quickly looked down at her card and marked Bank Run as a ‘Yes’. There was something about him that was absolutely captivating! How could she do anything else? She looked up just as Bank Run was getting up from his seat. He gave her a smile and a wink before trotting to the table next to her. Starlight’s heart skipped a beat. A purple unicorn with a jet black mane and yellow eyes that seemed to glow plopped himself down across from Starlight. “Hey,” she greeted, disappointed that Bank Run was gone but also somewhat excited to see a new face. “I’m Starlight Glimmer, what’s your name?” “I’m Dusk Light,” the stallion replied coldly, a strange sort of scowl ever present on his face. “Oh…well, it’s nice to meet you! What do you do for a living?” “Do you want to know what I do for a living!?” Dusk Light cried, standing up. Starlight Glimmer glanced around nervously. Some other pairs glanced in their direction. “I’ll tell you what!” Dusk Light continued without waiting for a response, “I’ve battled all sorts of enemies! I was fourteen when I went on my first mission! My partners were torn to death by changelings!” “Oh…well, that’s too bad…” “And then, after that, I spent years in an apocalyptic wasteland in another dimension! You don’t know the things I’ve seen! You can’t handle the truth! I can’t handle the truth! Who even are you?” “I…uh…” Starlight mumbled, her pupils the size of pinpricks, “I almost destroyed space-time once, so…I kinda understand? I think?” A few moments of silence followed Starlight’s words. Dusk Light looked up and spoke again. “Really? Have you ever seen a changeling horde rip-“ Ring! Ring! Ring! Starlight was saved by the bell. Slowly, very slowly, so as not to disturb the very delicate balance of forces around her, Starlight drew an X in the ‘No’ box on her date card. A yellow unicorn with a navy mane and deep blue eyes came next. He looked just a little bit tired, something that Starlight could relate to. “Hi, there,” he began. “I’m Comet Tail. You’re Princess Twilight’s new student, aren’t you?” “Heh, yeah,” Starlight replied. “Starlight Glimmer. I’m here doing this because her and our friends thought that it would be a good thing for me…and I think so too.” “I understand,” Comet Tail said with a weary smile. “I’ve had a lot going on in my life that I just want to leave behind. Time for a fresh start, you know?” Starlight returned his smile. “Yeah, I do know…So what do you do for work?” “I work as a science consultant for a big firm. I help businesses figure out…well, science stuff. Telescopes, garden soil, everything.” “That sounds like a nice job.” “It is. I get to meet lots of ponies. Still, it’s nice to meet and talk to somepony like yourself, and just have a nice, quiet conversation, you know?” Starlight nodded. “Yeah. It seems to me you’re a very nice pony.” Comet Tail grinned. “Thanks. You are too. I can tell by how you carry yourself. Maybe we’ll be able to talk again.” As if he was predicting the future, the bell rang. “Maybe,” Starlight said, shooting him a small smile and marking her card ‘Yes’. Comet Tail seemed a little reluctant to go, but moved on anyway. In his place came a pegasus with an ash gray coat. He had a brown mane with a thick yellow highlight, and sported cinnamon eyes. “Nice to meet you, I’m Thunder Bolt,” he said. The tone of his voice carried similarities to that of Fluttershy’s, although much deeper, which made Starlight question if he was perhaps a quieter pony by nature. “Starlight Glimmer,” she replied, at this point very much inundated with the routine. “I work with Princess Twilight. What about you?” “I’m in the Air Support Division of the royal guard. Have been all my life,” he replied. His voice wasn’t timid, but it was certainly wasn’t confident, either. “Another royal guard? Wow, you guys are everywhere here! I haven’t heard of the Air Support Division, though. It sounds like something the royal guards could have used on a few occasions.” Thunder Bolt sat up. “No kidding!” he exclaimed gleefully. “Could you imagine if we had had a few squadrons of pegasi at the battle of Waterleu? Or at Haystings? The entire balance of world military power would have been shifted!” Starlight’s ears fell a few inches. Those sounded like older battles that she had heard of only a few times. “Oh. Probably, but I don’t know too much about that. I’m more into the history of magic, the division of labor, vanguard parties…you know, that sort of thing.” “Oh,” Thunder Bolt replied, sitting back and clearly less impressed than he had been a moment ago. “My mistake, sorry.” The bell rang and Thunder Bolt marked his card and moved on. Starlight had to think about this one for a while. On one hoof, she wasn’t too crazy about the prospect of dating a male clone of Fluttershy that got excited about the history of destructive wars instead of fuzzy animals. On the other, he seemed like a nice enough pony and wouldn’t get her into any trouble. Plus, the royal guards were usually of the big, strong type. She shrugged. There was no reason to turn him down without getting to know him a little more. She marked the ‘Yes’ box. The rest of the night passed quickly. A few good ponies, a few bad, and a few in between all came and conversed with Starlight Glimmer before the cycle was completed and the coordinator collected the cards. For her part, Starlight followed the small crowd of ponies out of the coffee shop feeling very confident about the future, and very positive about her decision to look for a special somepony. Tomorrow would be a new day, and she would learn then who had liked her, as well. Meanwhile, the coffee shop was left empty, save for a single barista behind the counter whose job it was to close up. The orange unicorn with a blue and black mane and an exceedingly eclectic sense of fashion surveyed the tables in the store, which were littered with unwashed mugs, used tea bags, and the like. Flame Strike sighed. “They come here to find love, but only end up giving me more work.” “Hey, Twilight,” Spike yelled, running over to Twilight. “Check out what Starlight got in the mail!” He waved a paper card around, being careful to dodge the intermittent blasts of magic from Starlight Glimmer’s horn. “Spike, give it back!” she cried, “Come on!” Spike was only stopped when Twilight’s magic got a hold of the card and yanked it from his grasp. Her eyes scanned the card as Starlight gulped. “Hey,” she began, “looks like you ‘matched’ with two stallions!” Starlight pawed at the crystal floor with a hoof. “Yeah. I kinda thought that I’d get more, but I guess that I marked ‘No’ on some stallions that liked me…so I guess it only makes sense.” Twilight bit her lip. “You know, Starlight, you don’t have to do this. This was a good idea, but all the books I’ve read say that most relationships arise spontaneously.” Spike let out a dismissive chortle. “Chill out, Twi. She wants to do this, remember? Besides, one of the ponies she matched with was Comet Tail! He’s a really good pony.” Twilight relented slightly. “Yes, I suppose that’s right. I don’t know who this ‘Bank Run’ character is, though. What’s your plan, Starlight?” “Well,” Starlight began, already nervous. “I guess now I go on some dates.” In Which Things Go Terribly WrongStarlight Glimmer stood expectantly outside of a dimly lit bistro in Ponyville. The chilly night air ruffled her elegant lilac dress and made her shiver just a tad as she glanced around, looking for her date. Soon, he turned the corner. Bank Run was wearing business-casual fare, giving him a clean but natural look. His mane was perfectly styled as well, and barely moved when he made eye contact with Starlight Glimmer and began to trot toward her at an increased speed. “I’m so sorry that I’m a few minutes late,” he began. “It’s complicated. Have I kept you long?” “Oh, just a few minutes,” Starlight demurely answered, blushing as she waved a hoof dismissively. “It’s not a problem.” “Oh, but it is,” Bank Run answered sincerely, looking into her eyes. “You deserve better.” Starlight cursed herself as she felt her face heat up, but she was unable to break eye contact with the enchanting stallion before her. “Now,” Bank Run continued, taking her hoof, “Shall we? I’ve been here a few times before, and the food is excellent…” “And then I told Mrs. Cake that if we really needed to order more flour, then we’ve been ordering too much sugar! And then she said-“ “Shush, Pinkie! She’s coming! I will not allow anything to ruin this for her, especially not absurd discussion! Love is a delicate, blossoming flower, and even the slightest breeze can-“ “Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” “…And so I finally got home that way.” Starlight’s eyes widened. “Two days of layovers!? Wow…” Bank Run finished his appetizer. “It was quite an experience. But you must have much more incredible stories!” Starlight cringed just a bit as she thought about her past but managed to keep it together. “Oh, I don’t know if that’s true…” “Do you expect me to believe that humble statement? You work with the Princess! You must have a few interesting stories!” Starlight actually giggled a little as she thought of a few wacky adventures she had been on with Twilight and her other friends. “Well, actually, I-“ “Pardon me,” the waiter interrupted as he placed down two plates of food, “the spicy tofu for the gentleman, and the apple pecan salad for the lady. Enjoy.” As Starlight looked up to mouth a polite “thank you” to the waiter, a particularly gaudy hat caught her eye. Her brow furrowed as she examined it and drew a dark conclusion. “I’m going to head to the restroom,” Bank Run said. “Feel free to start without me.” “Okay,” Starlight replied, her eyes still on the hat. “I’m going to walk over to the cider bar and get a glass, would you like anything?” “No thanks,” Bank Run chirped as he trotted off to the bathroom. Starlight got up and slowly walked to the restaurant from the bar, which was immediately next to the table she was interested in. As she approached, the ponies seated there shoved their faces into their menus, telling Starlight everything she needed to know. Starlight reached the bar and halfheartedly ordered a cider. As the barkeep moved away to fetch it, Starlight stared directly forward, a false smile on her muzzle. “What are you three doing here?” She asked with gritted teeth. There was no answer. “I know you can hear me, you stopped talking and hid as soon as I walked over.” “…What gave it away?” Rarity whined from her seat. “Your hat. It’s almost three feet tall.” “Rarity! I told you it was too big!” Twilight scolded from across the table. “Darling, please,” Rarity dismissed, “a hat is always the best disguise, as is ostentatiousness. Hiding in plain sight, as it were.” “Well obviously it didn’t work!” “Hey!” Starlight spat, her back still turned to her friends. “Stuff it! I cannot believe you spent hours and hours making me try on dresses and piling makeup on my face, only to follow me to my date! When I get back to the castle, we are all going to have a long, long talk about trust, privacy, and boundaries.” “If you come home tonight, dear. It looks to me like things with him are going pretty well.” “BOUNDARIES,” Starlight repeated, more irked than embarrassed. If Rarity’s silence was any indication, Twilight’s laser stare had also begun to bore holes into her alabaster friend. “Now,” Starlight continued, almost certain that Twilight’s gaze was keeping Rarity suppressed despite not actually being able to see their table, “I better not hear a single peep out of any of you this entire dinner. So help me if I do.” Starlight paused to let her words sink in. “…One last question though. Why did you bring Pinkie?” “Because spying is fun!” Pinkie chittered. “Of course,” Starlight rolled her eyes. The barkeep placed her glass of craft cider on the counter, which she nabbed in her magic. By the time she had reached the table, Bank Run was already seated and waiting for her. “There comes the lady of the hour,” he said, pulling her chair out for her. “Thank you,” she curtsied, taking a seat. She began to eat. Aside from the unwanted intrusion of her friends, Starlight was really pleased with the course of the date. Bank Run had been a perfect gentlestallion, capable of stimulating conversation. Not to mention, he was certainly a looker. Maybe she had already found her special somepony. Maybe- “Bank Run?” a confused voice asked. Starlight looked up to find a purple pegasus mare with a wavy light gray mane, staring wide-eyed at her date. It appeared she had just entered with a group of tittering mares who were currently being led to their seats. She looked to Bank Run curiously, only to find him staring at her like a wanted stallion looks at a police officer. He was completely silent. “Who is she!?” the mare asked, accusingly. “Uh…Uhhh…” Bank Run mumbled. The mare turned to Starlight. “Who are you?” “Um, I’m Starlight Glimmer?” Starlight answered cautiously, an eyebrow raised. “And, uh, who might you be?” “I’m Bank Run’s EX-fiance,” she spat, before turning to him again. “You piece of trash! You promised you wouldn’t do this again!” The altercation had attracted the stares of nearby patrons. “Sugar Plum, please, I-“ “FORGET IT! I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT!” The mare screamed, sobbing. At this point everypony in the restaurant was staring at the trio of ponies. “YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME, AGAIN…NOW, WITH THIS TRAMP!?” “Tramp?” Starlight Glimmer questioned, scrunching up her muzzle. “I don’t think that’s particularly-“ “Please, sweetheart,” Sugar Plum sarcastically belittled, “you’re wearing more makeup than fur.” Starlight’s heart sunk. The mare tried to look back at Bank Run but ended up sobbing. “Sugar Plum, let’s talk about this, okay?” “NO! No more talk!” she said in-between sobs. “We’re through!” After a moment, she pushed all the glassware off the table with her hooves, creating a gigantic crash that would have attracted the attention of everypony, had they not already been watching. Sugar Plum then bolted out of the restaurant, crying her heart out. “Sugar Plum!” Bank Run leapt from his seat and followed her without giving Starlight so much as a second thought. All was still and silent in the restaurant for several seconds. Then, one of Sugar Plum’s friends darted after her heartbroken companion, taking care to dodge the broken glass. Then, everything was still once more. Starlight did not allow herself to feel anything, but simply stared forward at the empty seat opposite her. Slowly, the couples turned back to their meals. Starlight then let the vice-grip of defeat and the hot iron of embarrassment begin to ravage her insides. She looked up and saw her friends still watching her, mouths agape. Next to them, the waiters and a manager appeared to be holding an emergency huddle. Starlight looked down and just stared at her food for several minutes. “Umm…” a strong but sympathetic voice spoke from her left. Starlight glanced up from her salad of melancholy to gaze upon a pony dressed differently than the waiters, who appeared to be an owner or manager. “I’m sorry to bother you, miss, but…will your date be back?” Starlight’s ears fell against the back of her head. “I don’t know… probably not…” “Well, uh, it’s just that we need to make sure that somepony pays for the food…and also the damages, is all.” Tears began to well up in Starlight’s eyes. She had some bits with her, sure… but not nearly enough. A hoof landed on the manager’s shoulder. “Send the bill to Ponyville Castle,” Twilight commanded. Starlight moved her field of vision, revealing the sweetly smiling faces of her friends. Twilight offered her a hoof. “Come on, Starlight. Let’s get you home.” In Which the Mane 6 Provide Awful AdviceAuthor's Note Just in case any females are reading this, I want to make clear that this is the exact opposite of what you want to do on any date, much less the first one. In Which the Mane 6 Provide Awful Advice The throne room of Ponyville Castle was abuzz with activity. “Okay, so maybe things didn’t work out with that shoddy individual,” Rarity pontificated as she continued to contort Starlight’s mane. “This time I’m sure things will work out just fine, darling.” Starlight sighed. “I hope so.” Twilight looked up from her book. “Are you sure you want to do this, Starlight? Are you feeling ready?” Starlight nodded slowly. “Yeah. I can’t let one bad experience keep me down. After all, this is for my sake anyway.” Fluttershy put down the blush applier she was using on Starlight Glimmer’s muzzle. “Oh, Starlight, you’re very brave. I would be very apprehensive in your horseshoes…” Rarity spat out a hairpin she had in her mouth and placed it delicately in Starlight’s mane with her magic. “You’re making the right decision, dear. Now, since he’s almost here, we need to talk about how you should act around him.” “Yeah! You need to be assertive!” Rainbow Dash stomped her hoof. “Let him know that you’re in charge and he’s got no say in the matter!” “Rainbow Dash, please,” Rarity scolded. “That doesn’t come until later. Now, Starlight, if you remember nothing else, make sure to not be too nice or forthcoming.” Starlight scrunched her muzzle up. “What? Why not?” “Ya can’t make it too easy on ‘im,” Applejack answered from her throne, her hooves up and hat over her face. “Precisely, dear. Stallions love the chase. You have to play hard to get or else he won’t think you’re worth it.” “Oh,” Starlight said dejectedly. “I didn’t do that at all last time…” “That’s okay darling, he was garbage. Now, let’s test your knowledge. If he compliments your appearance, how do you respond?” “Uhhh…” Starlight groaned as she thought about the situation in an unnatural fashion, “…accept the compliment, but coldly? And don’t compliment him back?” Rarity apprehended her in a satisfied fashion. “I suppose that’s an acceptable answer. I would have accepted the compliment in a manner that could be received as mildly passive-aggressive, but to each their own, I suppose. Now, for the date itself: make sure to demonstrate that you are worth far more than he is good for. It places you in the position of control of the relationship. Order only the most expensive dishes, only laugh at his best jokes, and even then do so only demurely…and so on.” Starlight looked over at Twilight. “Twilight, does this seem right to you?” Twilight shrugged incredulously. “I have literally no idea. I know that’s not how friendship works… but this isn’t friendship, it’s romantic friendship. That’s Rarity’s domain, I guess…I’d trust what she has to say.” “Fluttershy and Applejack likely have good insights as well. Fluttershy is the master of all things aesthetic and gentle, and Applejack is just cold and tough enough to both properly be called a mare and cause stallions to cower before her,” Rarity tacked on. “Thanks,” Applejack beamed. “Don’t forget the goodnight kiss!” Pinkie Pie called from behind Twilight, bouncing up and down. “You can’t make it too easy for him!” “Oh, how could I have forgotten!?” Rarity cried. “You must make sure to make the moment as awkward as possible for him. Anything to force him to take the initiative! Unless he was absolutely perfect on every count, you might even want to give him the cheek if he tries anything. Make him work for it, dear.” Starlight’s ears flopped to the sides of her head. “Oh, dear. Talking about kissing already? What if I don’t feel ready?” “Then brusquely thank him for the evening and slam the door in his face. Honestly, darling, this is really quite intuitive. I can’t hold your hoof through the entire process.” The door to the room closed at that moment, causing everypony in the room to turn their attention to Spike, who had just entered the room. “Why hello, Spikey!” Rarity chirped. “Look at Starlight, haven’t we made her just gorgeous!?” Spike stared at Starlight and appeared to be frozen. Starlight smiled slightly at first, pleased that Spike was dumbfounded at her appearance. Her smile began to fade, however, when Spike continued to stare…and stare…and stare. Slowly, Spike raised his claws and placed them on his head, incredulously. “What have you done to her!?” He cried. In Which Spike Provides Good AdviceAuthor's Note To any females reading: this is legitimately good advice. In Which Spike Provides Good Advice Spike rushed over to Starlight, frantically looking over every square inch of Starlight Glimmer. Starlight, for her part, lifted a front hoof in surprise and tensed up. “Isn’t it wonderful, Spikey?” Rarity cooed, in love with her work. “She’s going to knock him dead! Metaphorically speaking, of course.” Spike slapped his claws to the sides of his face. “She’s made up like crazy! This is a first date!” “Exactly,” Applejack countered, “it’s like hooking a fish, and then pretending to not care so you hook him even deeper.” “Indeed,” Rarity concurred. “You gave her bad advice too!?” Spike screeched incredulously. “We need to take off some of this makeup and reeducate her, fast!” “Come now, Spikey,” Rarity began, “you’re being completely unreasonable. She looks gorgeous.” “Actually,” Starlight interrupted sadly, “my last date’s fiancé told me I looked like a tramp. Maybe Spike is on to something.” “No one knows stallions like me, dear,” Rarity chastised, “I assure you, he will be putty in your hooves.” Spike’s eyes narrowed. “Okay, that’s it! Everypony except Starlight, get out!” Fluttershy immediately moved to the door. Twilight, on the other hoof, was not as receptive. “Spike, I’m reading. You know I hate to be moved when I’m reading.” “This is an emergency! Out!” “Listen here, scaley,” Rainbow Dash objected, “I don’t take orders from-“ “Out! OUT OUT OUT!” Spike responded, forcing everypony he didn’t want in the room out. Almost everypony, that is. With the others out the door, Spike turned his attention to Rarity. Rarity stood by Starlight, shielding her with her body, as if Starlight was a child or a precious work of art. “Oh, no, Spike. I will NOT let you ruin my work!” Starlight frowned. “Your work?” “Oh, um,” Rarity turned to Starlight, giggling awkwardly, “I of course meant your evening, darling.” Spike grabbed his broom from the corner of the room. “Rarity, I’m sorry,” Spike whispered to himself, before leveling the stick at Rarity. “Spike…what are you doing?” Spike continued his slow, relentless advance. “Spikey-Wikey, please! That has dust on it!” Spike was almost a broom’s length away now. He began to jab the broom’s bristles forward, threateningly. “Begone, witch! Leave this place!” Rarity retreated. “Aaaahhh! Spike, if one speck of that dreck lands on my coat-“ “Begone!” Spike cried, jabbing forward until Rarity had exited the room. Quickly, he locked the door and returned to Starlight. “Spike…” Starlight began. “You’re going to be in hot water with Rarity…” Spike’s ear frills drooped and flattened against his face. “I know. I’ll smooth things over later…It’s more important to make sure that their damage is fixed, though. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I let my feelings for Rarity get in the way of your welfare.” Starlight smiled at Spike and pulled him into a hug. “Spike, you’re just the sweetest, has anypony ever told you that?” Spike chuckled. “Not really.” Starlight nuzzled him. “Maybe if I nuzzle you enough around Rarity, I’ll make her jealous enough to repair the damage.” Spike smiled, but wiped his cheek to remove the makeup that had transferred to him in the process. “Okay, first things first, we need to fix the makeup and dress situation.” Spike grabbed a wipe from the makeup kit Rarity had left behind and cleared the blush and most makeup from Starlight’s face, leaving her eyeshadow. “Don't ever feel pressured to wear makeup for a regular old date. Still, we'll keep the eyeshadow,” Spike began. “Just enough to compliment your appearance and show you’re interested. No need to send a big message.” He brought over a stool and stood on it, letting Starlight’s hair down into her normal style. “Again, no need to go big. You can curl it just a little if you want.” As Starlight picked up a curler in her magic and began giving her hair some flourish, Spike stepped back to observe her from further back. His eyes lingered on her ornate, iridescent gown splayed with a gradient of colors one would expect to see in the evening sky. “Geez, they’ve got you dolled up like you’re going to the Grand Galloping Gala! What restaurant are you going to?” “I think he said something about the River Grill,” Starlight replied. “Are you kidding?” Spike groaned. “I can’t believe them. That place is like, business casual. Ain’t that just like Rarity, to make you the center of attention?” He smiled sadly. “Well, I’d change into something simpler. Don’t want to embarrass or intimidate the poor guy. Besides, he’s probably more interested in you than your dress, anyway.” Starlight looked over at Rarity’s dress rack. “Um, which one should I put on?” Spike shrugged. “Something simple.” Starlight bit her lip, but eventually changed into a shorter blue dress that was more casual. Spike nodded solemnly and gave her a thumbs-up. “Great. Now, I want you to forget everything they told you about how to act. Okay?” Starlight closed her eyes and exhaled. She nodded. “Great. I want you to be nice, open and friendly to him. If things are going well tonight, you can even show him a little affection, like a touch on the hoof or walking close to him. Feel free to smile and be chatty. And remember, he’s probably a lot more nervous than you are.” Starlight nodded. “That sounds much better than what the girls told me.” Spike snorted. “I bet.” Loud, resounding knocks clamored through the chamber. “Oh no!” Starlight cried. “He’s here but I’m not ready yet!” “Relax, Starlight,” Spike said. “I’ll keep him occupied for a few minutes. Come down when you’re ready.” Spike exited the throne room and turned into the main foyer, where he promptly noticed Twilight Sparkle and Rarity lurking near the door, preparing to open it. Promptly, he shooed them away with his trusty broom. When his pesky friends were far enough away, he opened the door to reveal Comet Tail. He had slicked up his mane and was wearing a special shirt for the occasion. “Hey,” he said, “Spike, right?” “Yup. You’re here to pick up Starlight, right? She’ll be down in a minute.” There was an awkward silence as Spike did not invite Comet Tail inside. He instead stood at the doorway, blocking any attempts for the others to interfere. After a few moments, Spike spoke again. “Hey, I just wanted to say that Starlight had a rough time on her last date. It would mean a lot to her if you did whatever you had to to make this special for her. I think she’s taken a liking to you.” Comet Tail nodded, a little relieved. “Of course, of course. That was my plan.” “Good.” “Sorry!” Starlight cried as she rushed up the foyer to the door. “Starlight, you look fantastic,” Comet Tail blurted out. Starlight averted her gaze and smiled. “Th-thank you.” “Are you ready to head out? I’m hungry and the grill has fantastic food.” Starlight nodded. “Lead the way.” The two trotted away into the evening and Spike shut the castle’s main door. He turned to observe an offended Rarity and irked Twilight. “Before you say anything,” Spike preempted, “I don’t care. You were wrong. Now get the girls together, because we are going to have a long, long chat about relationships and boundaries.” In Which Things Go Pretty WellAuthor's Note Love is in Bloom... In Which Things Go Pretty Well Starlight Glimmer walked through the dark streets of Ponyville with Comet Tail. It was still early enough that the town was awash with couples and groups of young mares and stallions still too reserved at their age to go out on their own. Despite the crowds, the night was truly beautiful, complete with a perfect temperature and just the slightest hint of a breeze. “I, uh, I really meant that you look great, you know…I like your dress.” “Th-this old thing? Thanks…I think you look very handsome.” “O-of course, I like how you look more than how your dress looks. I-I mean, uh, you look great.” Starlight smiled as she looked over and saw Comet Tail looking away slightly, unable to make eye contact. The duo rounded a turn. However, they both pursued different vectors, and their paths converged, ending in their sides coming into contact with the smallest of bumps. Comet Tail practically leapt into the air. “Oh! I-I’m so sorry!” Starlight began stammering, worried that things were already going down the wrong path. “N-n-no! I’m…I-I’m the one who’s sorry, I mean, y-you were leading, and I ran into you…” “O-oh!” Comet Tail stuttered, seemingly relieved. “N-no, I, uh, I didn’t mind it all!” “N-neither did I!” Starlight let out an awkward chuckle as they continued down the road. Slowly, she inched toward him, so that they were still walking parallel to each other but much closer. Starlight felt a slight jolt of excitement whenever their sides brushed even slightly. “So, um, you really like this restaurant, huh?” Starlight asked, attempting to tear her attention away from the questionable amount of pleasure she was obtaining from accidental contact with Comet Tail. He seemed to have to focus his attention at the question, as well. “W-well, um, it’s great. The food is pretty good, but I really go for the atmosphere. You can’t beat eating with a view of the river! I know the owner a little bit from work and some of my more distant friends, and he’s a great pony. I’m sure he’ll make sure the evening is special.” Starlight felt herself relax slightly. “Oh, great! I haven’t had too much chance to try the restaurants in Ponyville since I moved here, and I love water views.” The next minute or so was spent in silence. As they came up on the River Grill, Comet Tail opened the door with his magic and held it for Starlight, letting her go in first. Starlight entered the dark foyer as Comet Tail followed behind her. She allowed herself to smile slightly. This date was going well. If the butterflies in her tummy were any indication, she really, really liked him. Hopefully, he liked her too, and the date would go off without a hitch. That is, as long as he didn’t have a fiancé that came storming into the restaurant halfway through the date, that is. As Comet Tail spoke to the host, Starlight took a quick glance around the restaurant. Her heart fell, just a tad, when she saw that the restaurant was full to the brim. How could she have forgotten: it was Friday night! They were lucky just to have a reservation! She would have to just take a deep breath and deal with the fact that the restaurant was crowded. The host led them through the restaurant along a winding path that made it abundantly clear that the restaurant had more demand than supply on Friday evenings. They approached the end of the restaurant, and Starlight’s ears fell to the sides of her head. The only booth left was in the corner, close to the kitchen and restrooms. It wasn’t the best placement, but she wasn’t going to be picky about it. Besides, it was close enough to the river that they could glimpse at the river from their seat. At the last second, the host took a hard left and led them through a glass door onto a lit patio with a single table. The patio pushed up right against the river, giving them a spectacular view of the swift waters and the buildings on the other side. “Here you are,” the host declared in a nonchalant manner. “Your server will be with you soon.” As soon as the host had left them, Starlight ran to the railing and put her hooves on it, looking down at the water. “Wow! You got us incredible seats!” Comet Tail let out a single, joyous laugh. “This has to have been the owner’s doing, because it wasn’t me! That old pony really came through…” Starlight and Comet Tail strolled out of the restaurant just over an hour later, smiling and much more comfortable. “Wow, you were right Comet Tail! They had great food!” Comet Tail beamed back. “They were really on point today! The salad, especially, was crazy fresh!” “And that view…” Comet Tail shook his head. “I’ll have to thank him sometime. I really wish that I could take credit for that one…He must have gotten wind of my reservation.” They turned the corner and the spires of Ponyville Castle came into view. Starlight slowed her gait slightly. “Oh, we’re almost home. I was having such a good time…” “Really!? I-I mean, if you’re having a good time, he date doesn’t have to be over…” Starlight flushed red. “W-what?” “I-I-I-I meant w-we can go get some ice cream,” Comet Tail elaborated sheepishly, gesturing toward a small ice cream and gelato shop that was still open down a side street. Starlight exhaled and smiled again. “Yes! Let’s go!” she said, leaning into Comet Tail as they walked in together. He fidgeted just a little, but leaned back into her as well. Starlight ordered bourbon vanilla ice cream while Comet Tail got mint chocolate. They stood outside at a high table to eat. About halfway through her ice cream, Starlight began to get curious. “Hey, Comet Tail?” “Yeah?” “Can I try a bite of your ice cream? I’ll give you a bite of mine!” Comet Tail smiled back at her sweetly, and pushed the cup over to her with his muzzle. Starlight moved her spoon over (they couldn’t be expected to share spoons yet…right?) and scooped up a wad of the dark frozen mush. She gently took a bite, quickly licking her lips to make sure she didn’t leave any embarrassing residue. “Wow, that’s amazing!” she exclaimed, throwing her hooves up. Unfortunately, one of her hooves contacted the ice cream cup and sent it splattering right onto Comet Tail’s muzzle. He shook it off and looked at the ice cream on his muzzle with crossed eyes. Starlight threw her hooves over her muzzle. “Oh my gosh!” she cried, her voice muffled by her hooves. “I’m soooo sorry!” Comet Tail shifted his gaze from his muzzle to Starlight and grinned. Then, he laughed. And continued to laugh. And Starlight couldn’t keep herself from laughing either. The few ponies still out at this hour looked oddly at the cackling couple. Eventually, their laughing tapered off, but slowly, as if neither wanted it to stop. “Here,” Starlight managed to say between giggles, using her magic to wipe his muzzle with some napkins. “…Stop scrunching it up, I can’t get it all!” “Sorry.” When Starlight had dabbed the ice cream away to her satisfaction, she tossed the wad of napkins over her back into the trash can. “Nice throw!” “Thanks. I’m so sorry, but I think I stained your coat.” “Yeah, I think so. Yellow stains pretty easy…chocolate will do it,” Comet Tail said, wiping his muzzle with a hoof. “I’ll take a shower when I get home.” “Should we go?” Starlight asked, tilting her head. “I can wait and enjoy the evening for a few more minutes…that is, if you’re not embarrassed to spend time with a stallion that has chocolate on his muzzle.” Starlight giggled, and in a brash move that surprised even her, scooted closer and laid her head on the side of Comet Tail’s neck. As Starlight and Comet Tail approached the castle, her heart began to beat out of her chest. What was she going to do about the parting? Should she kiss him? She would be okay with it, but she was almost sure that he wouldn’t be! What was it that her friends had said? She could trust their advice! “You can’t make it too easy for him!” “Oh, how could I have forgotten!? You must make sure to make the moment as awkward as possible for him. Anything to force him to take the initiative! Unless he was absolutely perfect on every count, you might even want to give him the cheek if he tries anything. Make him work for it, dear.” “What if I don’t feel ready?” “Then brusquely thank him for the evening and slam the door in his face. Honestly, darling, this is really quite intuitive. I can’t hold your hoof through the entire process.” Wait, wait, what had Spike said!? “Now, I want you to forget everything they told you about how to act. Okay?” “Just great…I’m flying blind,” whispered Starlight. “Uhh, Starlight? Are you okay?” Comet Tail asked. “Oh, Y-yes!” Starlight answered loudly, realizing that she was standing right outside the castle’s main doors. “Um…thank you so much for a great night.” “You’re welcome, uh…” Comet Tail seemed to flinch for a moment, before pulling Starlight into a hug and nuzzling her cheek. “I-I had a good time too.” Starlight hugged him back tightly and nuzzled his cheek as well. She didn’t let him go at first, either. After maybe fifteen seconds, Comet Tail whispered, “Um, would you like to, maybe, go out again sometime?” Starlight nuzzled him again. “Yeah. I really, really would.” Comet Tail pulled away. “Good! I was afraid you were trying to get rid of me with that ice cream attack!” Starlight sputtered to come up with a retort. Comet Tail winked before turning around and heading back into town. “See you soon Starlight!” he called back. Starlight shook her head, smiling, before pulling open the castle double doors, revealing Spike tied to some furniture with a mix of streamers, ribbon, lassos and various other handy supplies. “…What happened to you?” she asked, far more curious than worried. Spike groaned. “My discussion with the others about relationship boundaries led into a long argument about aesthetics and the nature of love, and they ended up tying me to this stuff and going out to spy on you. Don’t worry, I fed them a false lead as to your location.” Starlight narrowed her eyes as she observed the excellent knot-craftsmanship that held Spike in place. “So, uh…” Spike spoke up again, “How was your date?” Starlight’s eyes lit up. “Oh, it was so wonderful! He’s the sweetest guy, and he got us a table right on the river even though the restaurant was full, and we got ice cream after even though we didn’t plan on it, but I spilled on him, but he was okay with it, and-“ “Hey, that’s great,” Spike interrupted. “Quick favor: could you untie me? I’m afraid the tissue in my left arm is starting to die off from torsion.” In Which Spike Saves The Day, AgainAuthor's Note I've been busy and occupied with other projects, but the story is alive! Two chapters to go! In Which Spike Saves The Day, Again “Begone!” Spike cried, jabbing the broom forward aggressively. “Spikey-Wikey, you will put that broom down this instant!” Rarity stomped a hoof. “Starlight Glimmer needs our advice for her date!” “No! Not after I had to rescue her from the awful advice you gave her last time. Leave this place and do not return!” “Spike, you are acting MOST uncouth!” “So it’s uncouth to want Starlight to succeed? BEGONE WITH YOU! ALL OF YOU!” Several more well-timed jabs of the broom forced Rarity, Twilight and Pinkie Pie out of the map room, allowing Spike to shut the door and jar it shut with the broom handle. Spike turned around to see Fluttershy slowly crawling toward Starlight on her stomach. “That means you too, Fluttershy.” Fluttershy looked up, timidly. “Oh, um, hi Spike. I was just going to give Starlight some tips on picking out a dress and doing her mane…” Spike gave her a deadpan glare. “…They’re going to the carnival.” “…Oh. Well, um, there’s no sense in not looking your best…right?” “Fluttershy, I am asking you kindly to leave Starlight alone.” Fluttershy looked down sheepishly. “Oh…Well, I mean, I think that it’s really really important that I talk to her too, Spike. I think it’s vital that she’s well prepared for her date, because we all want her to succeed, and-“ Spike took out a spray bottle and sprayed water on Fluttershy, who let out a timid ‘eep’ and cringed under the aerosolized assault. “Go on, Fluttershy.” A few more strategic sprays, and Fluttershy had scampered out of the room. “Wow,” Starlight finally spoke. “They were really aggressive… I can’t believe you sprayed Fluttershy.” Spike took a deep breath and sighed. “Nopony likes spraying Fluttershy, but she gives you no choice. She doesn’t leave you with any options.” Starlight looked down at Spike, suddenly unsure of herself. “Maybe we should have let them help…I mean, look at me, I’m a mess.” Spike strode up to Starlight and took one of her hooves in his claws. “Starlight, you look radiant just as you are. You don’t need a dress to make you stand out at this carnival. It’s a romantic venue…Just be yourself and enjoy your time with him, and I promise everything will turn out alright.” Starlight grinned widely and scooped him into a hug, giving him an extra-warm nuzzle on the cheek. “Oh, Spike! You know just what to say to make a mare happy!” “Alright, alright,” Spike groaned, trying to wiggle out of her determined and affectionate grasp, “save it for Comet Tail, why don’t you?” “Oh, that reminds me,” Starlight began, blushing. “W-what do I do at the end of the date? Should I kiss him? Or let him kiss me? Or is it too soon to be thinking about this? I mean, we sort of nuzzled after our last date, and-“ Spike made a calming shushing sound and held up a claw. “Starlight, you’re overthinking this. I think it’s important that you are affectionate to him…y’know, cuddle on the Ferris wheel and what not, since he’s probably more scared of you than you are of him…but when it comes to the end of the date, just go with your gut, and the moment, okay? I’m sure it will work out.” With that piece of advice, Spike turned tail and began walking out of the room. “Take some time to relax, I’ll let you know when he shows up,” he called without turning his head back. “Wait!” she cried, holding out a hoof. Spike turned around, raising an eyebrow. “Yes?” “…The others are going to spy on me, aren’t they?” “You betcha. Good luck with that. Let me know how it goes.”
In Which a Plan is Hatched“So that’s my plan!” Pinkie Pie chirped from the cavernous crystal map room in the heart of Ponyville’s castle. “It’s perfect!” “Did we reeaaallyyy need to call an emergency meeting for that!? It cut into my nap time,” Rainbow Dash complained from next to Pinkie Pie. “Rainbow Dash,” Rarity scolded, “please at least feign interest in your friends’ ideas.” She turned her attention to her bouncing pink friend, who was barely containing her excitement. “Pinkie, do you really think that finding a special somepony will help Starlight Glimmer feel more at home in Ponyville?” “Abso-tutely-lutely!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed. “Who wouldn’t feel more at home with a dashing young stallion adoring them!? Well, maybe me, but that’s because Ponyville is already at my maximum level of home-ness!” “Pinkie,” Twilight Sparkle said, “Starlight doesn’t need help fitting in! She’s doing great as my student!” “Her only friends besides us are a foalhood crush that lives all the way across Equestria and a kooky, traveling magician,” Pinkie Pie deadpanned uncharacteristically. “Plus, we’ve only seen her like twice this entire season.” “Twice? What… Look, Pinkie, even though she may not be the talk of the town, Starlight is still doing just fine here,” Twilight asserted. “Besides, if this goes haywire and Starlight gets involved with somepony that breaks her heart, she might feel far worse about being here!” “EXACTLY,” Pinkie cried, standing up on her crystal throne. “Either she gets a special somepony and becomes happy, or she is completely crushed and driven into the arms of her close friends,” Pinkie motioned in a circular fashion to make clear precisely whom she was talking about, “who she is then completely dependent on for her emotional health! Either way, Starlight ends up loving Ponyville!” “I don’t like this,” Princess Twilight began, scrunching her muzzle up. “It seems unpredictable, and borderline manipulative.” “Well ah fer one think it’s a great idea,” Applejack hooted from her seat, swinging a hoof enthusiastically. “Ain’t no problem that a lil’ bit of pinin’ fer somepony can’t solve. ‘Sides, it ain’t manipulative if we all want things to go well for her. Good work, Pinkie!” Pinkie Pie tilted her head and flashed a beaming smile. “Alright,” Rainbow Dash groaned, “I want to go home and nap, so let’s just take a vote and get this over with! Do we try and get Starlight Glimmer a special somepony?” “Yessiree!” Pinkie bubbled. “I suppose so…I am a sucker for romance,” Rarity concurred, fluffing her mane with a hoof. “No,” Twilight shook her head, “I don’t think this will be good for anypony involved.” “Ah’m all for it,” Applejack declared. “Fluttershy?” Twilight asked hopefully. “What do you…where’s Fluttershy?” Everypony turned to the doorway, where a crouching Fluttershy was attempting to silently sneak out of the room. She froze as a dozen eyes settled on her. “Uhh…” she croaked quietly, “I don’t know anything about dating or love, so, uh, I abstain?” Twilight bit her lip, realizing her position was becoming increasingly untenable. “Rainbow?” “I DON’T CAAAAARRRRRREEEEEE!” groaned Rainbow Dash, her head hanging upside-down from the side of her throne. “Well, that’s everypony! We win!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Uhhh, are you serious?” a raspy and mildly baritone voice questioned from next to Twilight. “I don’t get a vote?” “Why should you get a vote, Spike?” Rainbow Dash spat at him, wanting everypony to just shut up already so that she could go home. Spike was sitting in his tiny crystal chair next to Twilight, his legs crossed comfortably. “Where do I begin?” He began to count the reasons on one of his claws, “For one, I’m the only male in the room, and none of you thought to consult me about this. Number two, I’m the only one of you that actually bothers to have long, one-on-one conversations with Starlight that give me insight into her personality. Third, I thought I was supposed to be a valued member of the group. Also, I-” “Yes!” Twilight cried, grasping at the final straw of hope that somepony would support her opinion. “Spike deserves a vote! Go on, Spike,” she said, closing her eyes confidently. “I vote yes, it sounds like a fantastic idea,” Spike genuinely offered from his seat. “We should at least encourage her to find somepony on her terms.” The smile melted off of Twilights muzzle and she cracked open an eye. “…What?” “Then it’s settled!” Applejack concluded. Rainbow Dash immediately sped out of the room without so much as a single goodbye. “It is not settled!” Twilight cried maniacally, her mane suddenly unkempt. “This is not a democracy, I am a freaking Princess, and you will listen to me!” Pinkie Pie was the first to respond. “Silly Twilight, you’re completely beholden to the will of the group! We know all of your darkest secrets!” The others nodded in silent agreement. Twilight’s head fell. “Fine. How are we going to do this, then?”
In Which Starlight Glimmer Goes Speed DatingAuthor's Note This chapter features the OC's of Revenant Wings, Striker1959, A Model 101 T-800, and CaioCoia. I tried my best to show their characters with what I was given, and I hope I did them all justice! I've decided I'll release individual chapters for this story instead of finishing them all and releasing it as a multi-chaptered 'one-shot' (how's that for an oxymoron?), so keep an eye out for the next chapter in the near future! In Which Starlight Glimmer Goes Speed Dating Starlight Glimmer shifted back and forth on her hooves nervously. “I know that this is going to be a good thing for me, but I’m kinda worried about it now that it’s looming right in front of me…” Twilight Sparkle gave her a forced smile. “Oh, come now Starlight. Everything is going to be fine! The stallions will be falling all over themselves to get to you,” Twilight reluctantly encouraged, gesturing in the direction of the coffee shop. Starlight grimaced. “I’m not so sure. Everypony in town knows that I have a sketchy past…” she dejected, before examining herself briefly. “And I didn’t make myself look presentable for this at all…I didn’t even brush my mane!” Spike broke his silence from Starlight’s left. “Starlight, don’t worry about it. The speed-dating event is completely casual. The even underlined the phrase ‘come as you are’ in the brochure. Besides, you always look great. You’ll knock them dead in there.” Starlight Glimmer gave him a genuine smile and a pat on the head. “Aw, thanks Spike. I can always count on you for reassurance.” Her fidgeting eliminated, she took a deep breath and strode through the doors of the coffee shop. The Princess of Friendship and her Number One Assistant watched their newest friend embark on her new adventure. “…How come she always listens to you and not me!?” “Because you’re her teacher, and I’m her friend. Besides, I have a way with mares.” “Okay ponies!” An overenthusiastic, lilac earth pony mare called, gathering the attention of those who had entered the coffee shop for the private event. “Thank you all so much for coming! I’ve done these events all over Equestria, but it’s always so nice to come back to my hometown and help future special someponies to come together!” The crowd murmured, mostly unenthusiastically. “Recent studies have shown that you can tell if you’re romantically interested in another pony within a minute of first seeing them. So, you will each get 60 seconds to chat with each pony you meet. When time is up, I’ll ring a bell and you’ll have fifteen seconds to mark your card ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ for the pony’s corresponding number before the stallions rotate to the next mare. Then, I’ll collect the cards and inform you of all your matches tomorrow. Okay, take a seat ladies!” Starlight peered around the room and settled on a window seat next to a wall mosaic made of shattered coffee mug fragments. Starlight took this opportunity to scan the room for her competition. There were a few ponies that worried her. One was that darned Raindrops! She had preened her wings especially for the occasion, it appeared, and seemed to be trying out a new manestyle. She also seemed to radiate natural beauty. That, or the sunset filtering through the window behind Starlight was playing tricks on her tired and jealous eyes. Starlight sighed. If she couldn’t match up pony-to-pony on looks, she would have to make sure she really wowed these stallions in conversation. Then there was Cloudchaser, fresh off her latest ‘breakup’ with Thunderlane. They’d be back together within a week, but there were a lot of stallions here that didn’t know that and would probably be blown away by her charm. It was going to be difficult to differentiate herself from the competition. “Okay, now stallions, sit across from our eligible batchelorettes!” Starlight took a deep breath in as a blue stallion with a dark blue mane sat down across from her. He smiled confidently at her. She sheepishly smiled back, unable to make full eye contact. “And…go!” the coordinator cried, ringing a bell and beginning the first 90-second interval. “Noteworthy,” the stallion declared. “And you’re Princess Twilight’s newest buddy, right?” “Uh, yeah,” Starlight replied timidly. “I guess that’s…accurate, yeah.” She really hoped he would be able to develop the conversation further. “Nice. Well, I’m a musician.” “Well, that’s…pretty neat…and outside the flow of normal conversation.” Starlight winced, cursed once again by her tendency to verbalize the awkwardness of others. “Do you like it?” “Eh,” Noteworthy shrugged. “I don’t play too much anymore. I do a lot of record consulting and music marketing. Pays the bills much better.” “Yeah, being a musician can be tricky on its own,” Starlight agreed halfheartedly. “Do you have any other hobbies, or-“ “Sure do. I have a bobblehead collection. Have shop-exclusive bobbleheads from almost fifty cities across Equestria. You?” “Oh, uh, no bobbleheads. I enjoy reading…and relaxing…I used to do some other stuff too, but, uh, I don’t anymore.” Starlight mentally facehoofed at her own verbal tail-chasing. Noteworthy regarded her with the same cheeky smile with which he began. “Solid. I like you.” Starlight’s ears flopped against her head. For now, she was unwilling to return the compliment. “Yeah, I, uh, I-It’s been interesting to meet you. So, do you have a favorite food, or-“ A ringing bell interrupted Starlight. “Quickly everypony,” the coordinator cried, “mark your cards and rotate!” “I hope to see you soon,” Noteworthy winked. He trotted off to the next table, apparently already having filled out Starlight’s checkbox. Starlight groaned lightly, more in pain than in frustration. He was an average-looking pony. He wasn’t obnoxious or mean, but she didn’t really feel any immediate connection to him. It had been difficult to hold a conversation with him, she was interrupted by him a few times, and they didn’t really share any interests. Starlight found the row corresponding to the number on Noteworthy’s nametag and scratched in a light X in the ‘No’ column. The night was early, and she could afford to be picky for now. If she really needed to, she could always erase what she had written in before she turned in her card at the end of the event. The next stallion sat down across from her; a white pegasus with a nondescript brown mane, blue eyes and a somewhat intimidating frame. The bell rang. “I’m Starlight Glimmer,” Starlight began, taking the initiative. “What’s your name?” “I go by Revenant Wings, ma’am,” the stallion replied in a friendly, if not somewhat stiff manner. Starlight was taken aback. “Wow, that’s, uh, very formal. What do you do?” Revenant Wings looked away, slightly embarrassed. “I’m actually a royal guard. Sometimes my, uh, work mannerisms bleed over into my day-to-day life.” Starlight sat up intently. Her ears perked up as well. “Oooooh, a royal guard? What do you do on a daily basis?” “Too much to tell in under 60 seconds…Besides, if I told you, I’d have to kill you.” Starlight Glimmer clicked her tongue at him when the faintest hints of a grin tugged at one side of his mouth. “The ruthless secret government actor bit…Overplayed, but I have to be honest and tell you that you kinda made it work.” The stallion scratched the back of his head with a hoof, the grin threatening to break free and take over his muzzle. “And what do you do?” “I sort of…work with Twilight Sparkle. Too much to explain in a short amount of time, and it may or may not be ‘have to kill you’ type stuff.” She grinned at Revenant Wings, but was met with a sincere expression from him. “You work with Princess Twilight? I’ve never met her, but the other guards speak very highly of her. If she chose you, that’s a great honor. You must be very talented.” A blush exploded across Starlight’s face and she began to play with her mane. “Well, I don’t know if-“ The bell rang. “Fill out and switch!” Starlight Glimmer immediately checked the ‘Yes’ box. He was cute, somewhat of a looker, and she could converse with him so easily…up to, and including, witty banter! By the time she looked up from her card, a new stallion had taken Revenant Wings’ place, a deep green earth pony stallion with a dark, golden mane and a set of piercing purple eyes. The bell rang. Starlight just stared. Whoever this was, he was a beautiful creation. “Hey there, I’m Bank Run. Who might you be?” He asked steadily, peering at Starlight with curious eyes.” “Starlight Glimmer,” she choked out. “Charmed to make your acquaintance,” Bank Run smiled. “What do you do?” “Uhh…” Starlight drawled, needing several moments to prepare a response with her slowed mental processes. “I work with Twilight Sparkle, sort of.” “Really?” Bank Run asked, his ears perking up. “As in, the Princess? Wow! Here I am, thinking I’m successful because I started a little investment firm a town over with my buddies…And you’re working with a Princess every day! Do you like it?” “I do! Sort of. I mean, I have to do a lot of things that are out of my comfort zone, but it’s good for me, I suppose. “ Bank Run leaned back. “I get that, I suppose. Life is hard work sometimes.” Starlight finally summoned the courage to smile at him. “You can say that again.” “Nah, I don’t want to waste any more time talking about philosophical concepts when I could be learning more about you.” Starlight’s eyes widened and she sat back, dumbfounded. “J-just about me?” The bell rang. “You all know the drill!” Starlight quickly looked down at her card and marked Bank Run as a ‘Yes’. There was something about him that was absolutely captivating! How could she do anything else? She looked up just as Bank Run was getting up from his seat. He gave her a smile and a wink before trotting to the table next to her. Starlight’s heart skipped a beat. A purple unicorn with a jet black mane and yellow eyes that seemed to glow plopped himself down across from Starlight. “Hey,” she greeted, disappointed that Bank Run was gone but also somewhat excited to see a new face. “I’m Starlight Glimmer, what’s your name?” “I’m Dusk Light,” the stallion replied coldly, a strange sort of scowl ever present on his face. “Oh…well, it’s nice to meet you! What do you do for a living?” “Do you want to know what I do for a living!?” Dusk Light cried, standing up. Starlight Glimmer glanced around nervously. Some other pairs glanced in their direction. “I’ll tell you what!” Dusk Light continued without waiting for a response, “I’ve battled all sorts of enemies! I was fourteen when I went on my first mission! My partners were torn to death by changelings!” “Oh…well, that’s too bad…” “And then, after that, I spent years in an apocalyptic wasteland in another dimension! You don’t know the things I’ve seen! You can’t handle the truth! I can’t handle the truth! Who even are you?” “I…uh…” Starlight mumbled, her pupils the size of pinpricks, “I almost destroyed space-time once, so…I kinda understand? I think?” A few moments of silence followed Starlight’s words. Dusk Light looked up and spoke again. “Really? Have you ever seen a changeling horde rip-“ Ring! Ring! Ring! Starlight was saved by the bell. Slowly, very slowly, so as not to disturb the very delicate balance of forces around her, Starlight drew an X in the ‘No’ box on her date card. A yellow unicorn with a navy mane and deep blue eyes came next. He looked just a little bit tired, something that Starlight could relate to. “Hi, there,” he began. “I’m Comet Tail. You’re Princess Twilight’s new student, aren’t you?” “Heh, yeah,” Starlight replied. “Starlight Glimmer. I’m here doing this because her and our friends thought that it would be a good thing for me…and I think so too.” “I understand,” Comet Tail said with a weary smile. “I’ve had a lot going on in my life that I just want to leave behind. Time for a fresh start, you know?” Starlight returned his smile. “Yeah, I do know…So what do you do for work?” “I work as a science consultant for a big firm. I help businesses figure out…well, science stuff. Telescopes, garden soil, everything.” “That sounds like a nice job.” “It is. I get to meet lots of ponies. Still, it’s nice to meet and talk to somepony like yourself, and just have a nice, quiet conversation, you know?” Starlight nodded. “Yeah. It seems to me you’re a very nice pony.” Comet Tail grinned. “Thanks. You are too. I can tell by how you carry yourself. Maybe we’ll be able to talk again.” As if he was predicting the future, the bell rang. “Maybe,” Starlight said, shooting him a small smile and marking her card ‘Yes’. Comet Tail seemed a little reluctant to go, but moved on anyway. In his place came a pegasus with an ash gray coat. He had a brown mane with a thick yellow highlight, and sported cinnamon eyes. “Nice to meet you, I’m Thunder Bolt,” he said. The tone of his voice carried similarities to that of Fluttershy’s, although much deeper, which made Starlight question if he was perhaps a quieter pony by nature. “Starlight Glimmer,” she replied, at this point very much inundated with the routine. “I work with Princess Twilight. What about you?” “I’m in the Air Support Division of the royal guard. Have been all my life,” he replied. His voice wasn’t timid, but it was certainly wasn’t confident, either. “Another royal guard? Wow, you guys are everywhere here! I haven’t heard of the Air Support Division, though. It sounds like something the royal guards could have used on a few occasions.” Thunder Bolt sat up. “No kidding!” he exclaimed gleefully. “Could you imagine if we had had a few squadrons of pegasi at the battle of Waterleu? Or at Haystings? The entire balance of world military power would have been shifted!” Starlight’s ears fell a few inches. Those sounded like older battles that she had heard of only a few times. “Oh. Probably, but I don’t know too much about that. I’m more into the history of magic, the division of labor, vanguard parties…you know, that sort of thing.” “Oh,” Thunder Bolt replied, sitting back and clearly less impressed than he had been a moment ago. “My mistake, sorry.” The bell rang and Thunder Bolt marked his card and moved on. Starlight had to think about this one for a while. On one hoof, she wasn’t too crazy about the prospect of dating a male clone of Fluttershy that got excited about the history of destructive wars instead of fuzzy animals. On the other, he seemed like a nice enough pony and wouldn’t get her into any trouble. Plus, the royal guards were usually of the big, strong type. She shrugged. There was no reason to turn him down without getting to know him a little more. She marked the ‘Yes’ box. The rest of the night passed quickly. A few good ponies, a few bad, and a few in between all came and conversed with Starlight Glimmer before the cycle was completed and the coordinator collected the cards. For her part, Starlight followed the small crowd of ponies out of the coffee shop feeling very confident about the future, and very positive about her decision to look for a special somepony. Tomorrow would be a new day, and she would learn then who had liked her, as well. Meanwhile, the coffee shop was left empty, save for a single barista behind the counter whose job it was to close up. The orange unicorn with a blue and black mane and an exceedingly eclectic sense of fashion surveyed the tables in the store, which were littered with unwashed mugs, used tea bags, and the like. Flame Strike sighed. “They come here to find love, but only end up giving me more work.” “Hey, Twilight,” Spike yelled, running over to Twilight. “Check out what Starlight got in the mail!” He waved a paper card around, being careful to dodge the intermittent blasts of magic from Starlight Glimmer’s horn. “Spike, give it back!” she cried, “Come on!” Spike was only stopped when Twilight’s magic got a hold of the card and yanked it from his grasp. Her eyes scanned the card as Starlight gulped. “Hey,” she began, “looks like you ‘matched’ with two stallions!” Starlight pawed at the crystal floor with a hoof. “Yeah. I kinda thought that I’d get more, but I guess that I marked ‘No’ on some stallions that liked me…so I guess it only makes sense.” Twilight bit her lip. “You know, Starlight, you don’t have to do this. This was a good idea, but all the books I’ve read say that most relationships arise spontaneously.” Spike let out a dismissive chortle. “Chill out, Twi. She wants to do this, remember? Besides, one of the ponies she matched with was Comet Tail! He’s a really good pony.” Twilight relented slightly. “Yes, I suppose that’s right. I don’t know who this ‘Bank Run’ character is, though. What’s your plan, Starlight?” “Well,” Starlight began, already nervous. “I guess now I go on some dates.”
In Which Things Go Terribly WrongStarlight Glimmer stood expectantly outside of a dimly lit bistro in Ponyville. The chilly night air ruffled her elegant lilac dress and made her shiver just a tad as she glanced around, looking for her date. Soon, he turned the corner. Bank Run was wearing business-casual fare, giving him a clean but natural look. His mane was perfectly styled as well, and barely moved when he made eye contact with Starlight Glimmer and began to trot toward her at an increased speed. “I’m so sorry that I’m a few minutes late,” he began. “It’s complicated. Have I kept you long?” “Oh, just a few minutes,” Starlight demurely answered, blushing as she waved a hoof dismissively. “It’s not a problem.” “Oh, but it is,” Bank Run answered sincerely, looking into her eyes. “You deserve better.” Starlight cursed herself as she felt her face heat up, but she was unable to break eye contact with the enchanting stallion before her. “Now,” Bank Run continued, taking her hoof, “Shall we? I’ve been here a few times before, and the food is excellent…” “And then I told Mrs. Cake that if we really needed to order more flour, then we’ve been ordering too much sugar! And then she said-“ “Shush, Pinkie! She’s coming! I will not allow anything to ruin this for her, especially not absurd discussion! Love is a delicate, blossoming flower, and even the slightest breeze can-“ “Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” “…And so I finally got home that way.” Starlight’s eyes widened. “Two days of layovers!? Wow…” Bank Run finished his appetizer. “It was quite an experience. But you must have much more incredible stories!” Starlight cringed just a bit as she thought about her past but managed to keep it together. “Oh, I don’t know if that’s true…” “Do you expect me to believe that humble statement? You work with the Princess! You must have a few interesting stories!” Starlight actually giggled a little as she thought of a few wacky adventures she had been on with Twilight and her other friends. “Well, actually, I-“ “Pardon me,” the waiter interrupted as he placed down two plates of food, “the spicy tofu for the gentleman, and the apple pecan salad for the lady. Enjoy.” As Starlight looked up to mouth a polite “thank you” to the waiter, a particularly gaudy hat caught her eye. Her brow furrowed as she examined it and drew a dark conclusion. “I’m going to head to the restroom,” Bank Run said. “Feel free to start without me.” “Okay,” Starlight replied, her eyes still on the hat. “I’m going to walk over to the cider bar and get a glass, would you like anything?” “No thanks,” Bank Run chirped as he trotted off to the bathroom. Starlight got up and slowly walked to the restaurant from the bar, which was immediately next to the table she was interested in. As she approached, the ponies seated there shoved their faces into their menus, telling Starlight everything she needed to know. Starlight reached the bar and halfheartedly ordered a cider. As the barkeep moved away to fetch it, Starlight stared directly forward, a false smile on her muzzle. “What are you three doing here?” She asked with gritted teeth. There was no answer. “I know you can hear me, you stopped talking and hid as soon as I walked over.” “…What gave it away?” Rarity whined from her seat. “Your hat. It’s almost three feet tall.” “Rarity! I told you it was too big!” Twilight scolded from across the table. “Darling, please,” Rarity dismissed, “a hat is always the best disguise, as is ostentatiousness. Hiding in plain sight, as it were.” “Well obviously it didn’t work!” “Hey!” Starlight spat, her back still turned to her friends. “Stuff it! I cannot believe you spent hours and hours making me try on dresses and piling makeup on my face, only to follow me to my date! When I get back to the castle, we are all going to have a long, long talk about trust, privacy, and boundaries.” “If you come home tonight, dear. It looks to me like things with him are going pretty well.” “BOUNDARIES,” Starlight repeated, more irked than embarrassed. If Rarity’s silence was any indication, Twilight’s laser stare had also begun to bore holes into her alabaster friend. “Now,” Starlight continued, almost certain that Twilight’s gaze was keeping Rarity suppressed despite not actually being able to see their table, “I better not hear a single peep out of any of you this entire dinner. So help me if I do.” Starlight paused to let her words sink in. “…One last question though. Why did you bring Pinkie?” “Because spying is fun!” Pinkie chittered. “Of course,” Starlight rolled her eyes. The barkeep placed her glass of craft cider on the counter, which she nabbed in her magic. By the time she had reached the table, Bank Run was already seated and waiting for her. “There comes the lady of the hour,” he said, pulling her chair out for her. “Thank you,” she curtsied, taking a seat. She began to eat. Aside from the unwanted intrusion of her friends, Starlight was really pleased with the course of the date. Bank Run had been a perfect gentlestallion, capable of stimulating conversation. Not to mention, he was certainly a looker. Maybe she had already found her special somepony. Maybe- “Bank Run?” a confused voice asked. Starlight looked up to find a purple pegasus mare with a wavy light gray mane, staring wide-eyed at her date. It appeared she had just entered with a group of tittering mares who were currently being led to their seats. She looked to Bank Run curiously, only to find him staring at her like a wanted stallion looks at a police officer. He was completely silent. “Who is she!?” the mare asked, accusingly. “Uh…Uhhh…” Bank Run mumbled. The mare turned to Starlight. “Who are you?” “Um, I’m Starlight Glimmer?” Starlight answered cautiously, an eyebrow raised. “And, uh, who might you be?” “I’m Bank Run’s EX-fiance,” she spat, before turning to him again. “You piece of trash! You promised you wouldn’t do this again!” The altercation had attracted the stares of nearby patrons. “Sugar Plum, please, I-“ “FORGET IT! I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT!” The mare screamed, sobbing. At this point everypony in the restaurant was staring at the trio of ponies. “YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME, AGAIN…NOW, WITH THIS TRAMP!?” “Tramp?” Starlight Glimmer questioned, scrunching up her muzzle. “I don’t think that’s particularly-“ “Please, sweetheart,” Sugar Plum sarcastically belittled, “you’re wearing more makeup than fur.” Starlight’s heart sunk. The mare tried to look back at Bank Run but ended up sobbing. “Sugar Plum, let’s talk about this, okay?” “NO! No more talk!” she said in-between sobs. “We’re through!” After a moment, she pushed all the glassware off the table with her hooves, creating a gigantic crash that would have attracted the attention of everypony, had they not already been watching. Sugar Plum then bolted out of the restaurant, crying her heart out. “Sugar Plum!” Bank Run leapt from his seat and followed her without giving Starlight so much as a second thought. All was still and silent in the restaurant for several seconds. Then, one of Sugar Plum’s friends darted after her heartbroken companion, taking care to dodge the broken glass. Then, everything was still once more. Starlight did not allow herself to feel anything, but simply stared forward at the empty seat opposite her. Slowly, the couples turned back to their meals. Starlight then let the vice-grip of defeat and the hot iron of embarrassment begin to ravage her insides. She looked up and saw her friends still watching her, mouths agape. Next to them, the waiters and a manager appeared to be holding an emergency huddle. Starlight looked down and just stared at her food for several minutes. “Umm…” a strong but sympathetic voice spoke from her left. Starlight glanced up from her salad of melancholy to gaze upon a pony dressed differently than the waiters, who appeared to be an owner or manager. “I’m sorry to bother you, miss, but…will your date be back?” Starlight’s ears fell against the back of her head. “I don’t know… probably not…” “Well, uh, it’s just that we need to make sure that somepony pays for the food…and also the damages, is all.” Tears began to well up in Starlight’s eyes. She had some bits with her, sure… but not nearly enough. A hoof landed on the manager’s shoulder. “Send the bill to Ponyville Castle,” Twilight commanded. Starlight moved her field of vision, revealing the sweetly smiling faces of her friends. Twilight offered her a hoof. “Come on, Starlight. Let’s get you home.”
In Which the Mane 6 Provide Awful AdviceAuthor's Note Just in case any females are reading this, I want to make clear that this is the exact opposite of what you want to do on any date, much less the first one. In Which the Mane 6 Provide Awful Advice The throne room of Ponyville Castle was abuzz with activity. “Okay, so maybe things didn’t work out with that shoddy individual,” Rarity pontificated as she continued to contort Starlight’s mane. “This time I’m sure things will work out just fine, darling.” Starlight sighed. “I hope so.” Twilight looked up from her book. “Are you sure you want to do this, Starlight? Are you feeling ready?” Starlight nodded slowly. “Yeah. I can’t let one bad experience keep me down. After all, this is for my sake anyway.” Fluttershy put down the blush applier she was using on Starlight Glimmer’s muzzle. “Oh, Starlight, you’re very brave. I would be very apprehensive in your horseshoes…” Rarity spat out a hairpin she had in her mouth and placed it delicately in Starlight’s mane with her magic. “You’re making the right decision, dear. Now, since he’s almost here, we need to talk about how you should act around him.” “Yeah! You need to be assertive!” Rainbow Dash stomped her hoof. “Let him know that you’re in charge and he’s got no say in the matter!” “Rainbow Dash, please,” Rarity scolded. “That doesn’t come until later. Now, Starlight, if you remember nothing else, make sure to not be too nice or forthcoming.” Starlight scrunched her muzzle up. “What? Why not?” “Ya can’t make it too easy on ‘im,” Applejack answered from her throne, her hooves up and hat over her face. “Precisely, dear. Stallions love the chase. You have to play hard to get or else he won’t think you’re worth it.” “Oh,” Starlight said dejectedly. “I didn’t do that at all last time…” “That’s okay darling, he was garbage. Now, let’s test your knowledge. If he compliments your appearance, how do you respond?” “Uhhh…” Starlight groaned as she thought about the situation in an unnatural fashion, “…accept the compliment, but coldly? And don’t compliment him back?” Rarity apprehended her in a satisfied fashion. “I suppose that’s an acceptable answer. I would have accepted the compliment in a manner that could be received as mildly passive-aggressive, but to each their own, I suppose. Now, for the date itself: make sure to demonstrate that you are worth far more than he is good for. It places you in the position of control of the relationship. Order only the most expensive dishes, only laugh at his best jokes, and even then do so only demurely…and so on.” Starlight looked over at Twilight. “Twilight, does this seem right to you?” Twilight shrugged incredulously. “I have literally no idea. I know that’s not how friendship works… but this isn’t friendship, it’s romantic friendship. That’s Rarity’s domain, I guess…I’d trust what she has to say.” “Fluttershy and Applejack likely have good insights as well. Fluttershy is the master of all things aesthetic and gentle, and Applejack is just cold and tough enough to both properly be called a mare and cause stallions to cower before her,” Rarity tacked on. “Thanks,” Applejack beamed. “Don’t forget the goodnight kiss!” Pinkie Pie called from behind Twilight, bouncing up and down. “You can’t make it too easy for him!” “Oh, how could I have forgotten!?” Rarity cried. “You must make sure to make the moment as awkward as possible for him. Anything to force him to take the initiative! Unless he was absolutely perfect on every count, you might even want to give him the cheek if he tries anything. Make him work for it, dear.” Starlight’s ears flopped to the sides of her head. “Oh, dear. Talking about kissing already? What if I don’t feel ready?” “Then brusquely thank him for the evening and slam the door in his face. Honestly, darling, this is really quite intuitive. I can’t hold your hoof through the entire process.” The door to the room closed at that moment, causing everypony in the room to turn their attention to Spike, who had just entered the room. “Why hello, Spikey!” Rarity chirped. “Look at Starlight, haven’t we made her just gorgeous!?” Spike stared at Starlight and appeared to be frozen. Starlight smiled slightly at first, pleased that Spike was dumbfounded at her appearance. Her smile began to fade, however, when Spike continued to stare…and stare…and stare. Slowly, Spike raised his claws and placed them on his head, incredulously. “What have you done to her!?” He cried.
In Which Spike Provides Good AdviceAuthor's Note To any females reading: this is legitimately good advice. In Which Spike Provides Good Advice Spike rushed over to Starlight, frantically looking over every square inch of Starlight Glimmer. Starlight, for her part, lifted a front hoof in surprise and tensed up. “Isn’t it wonderful, Spikey?” Rarity cooed, in love with her work. “She’s going to knock him dead! Metaphorically speaking, of course.” Spike slapped his claws to the sides of his face. “She’s made up like crazy! This is a first date!” “Exactly,” Applejack countered, “it’s like hooking a fish, and then pretending to not care so you hook him even deeper.” “Indeed,” Rarity concurred. “You gave her bad advice too!?” Spike screeched incredulously. “We need to take off some of this makeup and reeducate her, fast!” “Come now, Spikey,” Rarity began, “you’re being completely unreasonable. She looks gorgeous.” “Actually,” Starlight interrupted sadly, “my last date’s fiancé told me I looked like a tramp. Maybe Spike is on to something.” “No one knows stallions like me, dear,” Rarity chastised, “I assure you, he will be putty in your hooves.” Spike’s eyes narrowed. “Okay, that’s it! Everypony except Starlight, get out!” Fluttershy immediately moved to the door. Twilight, on the other hoof, was not as receptive. “Spike, I’m reading. You know I hate to be moved when I’m reading.” “This is an emergency! Out!” “Listen here, scaley,” Rainbow Dash objected, “I don’t take orders from-“ “Out! OUT OUT OUT!” Spike responded, forcing everypony he didn’t want in the room out. Almost everypony, that is. With the others out the door, Spike turned his attention to Rarity. Rarity stood by Starlight, shielding her with her body, as if Starlight was a child or a precious work of art. “Oh, no, Spike. I will NOT let you ruin my work!” Starlight frowned. “Your work?” “Oh, um,” Rarity turned to Starlight, giggling awkwardly, “I of course meant your evening, darling.” Spike grabbed his broom from the corner of the room. “Rarity, I’m sorry,” Spike whispered to himself, before leveling the stick at Rarity. “Spike…what are you doing?” Spike continued his slow, relentless advance. “Spikey-Wikey, please! That has dust on it!” Spike was almost a broom’s length away now. He began to jab the broom’s bristles forward, threateningly. “Begone, witch! Leave this place!” Rarity retreated. “Aaaahhh! Spike, if one speck of that dreck lands on my coat-“ “Begone!” Spike cried, jabbing forward until Rarity had exited the room. Quickly, he locked the door and returned to Starlight. “Spike…” Starlight began. “You’re going to be in hot water with Rarity…” Spike’s ear frills drooped and flattened against his face. “I know. I’ll smooth things over later…It’s more important to make sure that their damage is fixed, though. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I let my feelings for Rarity get in the way of your welfare.” Starlight smiled at Spike and pulled him into a hug. “Spike, you’re just the sweetest, has anypony ever told you that?” Spike chuckled. “Not really.” Starlight nuzzled him. “Maybe if I nuzzle you enough around Rarity, I’ll make her jealous enough to repair the damage.” Spike smiled, but wiped his cheek to remove the makeup that had transferred to him in the process. “Okay, first things first, we need to fix the makeup and dress situation.” Spike grabbed a wipe from the makeup kit Rarity had left behind and cleared the blush and most makeup from Starlight’s face, leaving her eyeshadow. “Don't ever feel pressured to wear makeup for a regular old date. Still, we'll keep the eyeshadow,” Spike began. “Just enough to compliment your appearance and show you’re interested. No need to send a big message.” He brought over a stool and stood on it, letting Starlight’s hair down into her normal style. “Again, no need to go big. You can curl it just a little if you want.” As Starlight picked up a curler in her magic and began giving her hair some flourish, Spike stepped back to observe her from further back. His eyes lingered on her ornate, iridescent gown splayed with a gradient of colors one would expect to see in the evening sky. “Geez, they’ve got you dolled up like you’re going to the Grand Galloping Gala! What restaurant are you going to?” “I think he said something about the River Grill,” Starlight replied. “Are you kidding?” Spike groaned. “I can’t believe them. That place is like, business casual. Ain’t that just like Rarity, to make you the center of attention?” He smiled sadly. “Well, I’d change into something simpler. Don’t want to embarrass or intimidate the poor guy. Besides, he’s probably more interested in you than your dress, anyway.” Starlight looked over at Rarity’s dress rack. “Um, which one should I put on?” Spike shrugged. “Something simple.” Starlight bit her lip, but eventually changed into a shorter blue dress that was more casual. Spike nodded solemnly and gave her a thumbs-up. “Great. Now, I want you to forget everything they told you about how to act. Okay?” Starlight closed her eyes and exhaled. She nodded. “Great. I want you to be nice, open and friendly to him. If things are going well tonight, you can even show him a little affection, like a touch on the hoof or walking close to him. Feel free to smile and be chatty. And remember, he’s probably a lot more nervous than you are.” Starlight nodded. “That sounds much better than what the girls told me.” Spike snorted. “I bet.” Loud, resounding knocks clamored through the chamber. “Oh no!” Starlight cried. “He’s here but I’m not ready yet!” “Relax, Starlight,” Spike said. “I’ll keep him occupied for a few minutes. Come down when you’re ready.” Spike exited the throne room and turned into the main foyer, where he promptly noticed Twilight Sparkle and Rarity lurking near the door, preparing to open it. Promptly, he shooed them away with his trusty broom. When his pesky friends were far enough away, he opened the door to reveal Comet Tail. He had slicked up his mane and was wearing a special shirt for the occasion. “Hey,” he said, “Spike, right?” “Yup. You’re here to pick up Starlight, right? She’ll be down in a minute.” There was an awkward silence as Spike did not invite Comet Tail inside. He instead stood at the doorway, blocking any attempts for the others to interfere. After a few moments, Spike spoke again. “Hey, I just wanted to say that Starlight had a rough time on her last date. It would mean a lot to her if you did whatever you had to to make this special for her. I think she’s taken a liking to you.” Comet Tail nodded, a little relieved. “Of course, of course. That was my plan.” “Good.” “Sorry!” Starlight cried as she rushed up the foyer to the door. “Starlight, you look fantastic,” Comet Tail blurted out. Starlight averted her gaze and smiled. “Th-thank you.” “Are you ready to head out? I’m hungry and the grill has fantastic food.” Starlight nodded. “Lead the way.” The two trotted away into the evening and Spike shut the castle’s main door. He turned to observe an offended Rarity and irked Twilight. “Before you say anything,” Spike preempted, “I don’t care. You were wrong. Now get the girls together, because we are going to have a long, long chat about relationships and boundaries.”
In Which Things Go Pretty WellAuthor's Note Love is in Bloom... In Which Things Go Pretty Well Starlight Glimmer walked through the dark streets of Ponyville with Comet Tail. It was still early enough that the town was awash with couples and groups of young mares and stallions still too reserved at their age to go out on their own. Despite the crowds, the night was truly beautiful, complete with a perfect temperature and just the slightest hint of a breeze. “I, uh, I really meant that you look great, you know…I like your dress.” “Th-this old thing? Thanks…I think you look very handsome.” “O-of course, I like how you look more than how your dress looks. I-I mean, uh, you look great.” Starlight smiled as she looked over and saw Comet Tail looking away slightly, unable to make eye contact. The duo rounded a turn. However, they both pursued different vectors, and their paths converged, ending in their sides coming into contact with the smallest of bumps. Comet Tail practically leapt into the air. “Oh! I-I’m so sorry!” Starlight began stammering, worried that things were already going down the wrong path. “N-n-no! I’m…I-I’m the one who’s sorry, I mean, y-you were leading, and I ran into you…” “O-oh!” Comet Tail stuttered, seemingly relieved. “N-no, I, uh, I didn’t mind it all!” “N-neither did I!” Starlight let out an awkward chuckle as they continued down the road. Slowly, she inched toward him, so that they were still walking parallel to each other but much closer. Starlight felt a slight jolt of excitement whenever their sides brushed even slightly. “So, um, you really like this restaurant, huh?” Starlight asked, attempting to tear her attention away from the questionable amount of pleasure she was obtaining from accidental contact with Comet Tail. He seemed to have to focus his attention at the question, as well. “W-well, um, it’s great. The food is pretty good, but I really go for the atmosphere. You can’t beat eating with a view of the river! I know the owner a little bit from work and some of my more distant friends, and he’s a great pony. I’m sure he’ll make sure the evening is special.” Starlight felt herself relax slightly. “Oh, great! I haven’t had too much chance to try the restaurants in Ponyville since I moved here, and I love water views.” The next minute or so was spent in silence. As they came up on the River Grill, Comet Tail opened the door with his magic and held it for Starlight, letting her go in first. Starlight entered the dark foyer as Comet Tail followed behind her. She allowed herself to smile slightly. This date was going well. If the butterflies in her tummy were any indication, she really, really liked him. Hopefully, he liked her too, and the date would go off without a hitch. That is, as long as he didn’t have a fiancé that came storming into the restaurant halfway through the date, that is. As Comet Tail spoke to the host, Starlight took a quick glance around the restaurant. Her heart fell, just a tad, when she saw that the restaurant was full to the brim. How could she have forgotten: it was Friday night! They were lucky just to have a reservation! She would have to just take a deep breath and deal with the fact that the restaurant was crowded. The host led them through the restaurant along a winding path that made it abundantly clear that the restaurant had more demand than supply on Friday evenings. They approached the end of the restaurant, and Starlight’s ears fell to the sides of her head. The only booth left was in the corner, close to the kitchen and restrooms. It wasn’t the best placement, but she wasn’t going to be picky about it. Besides, it was close enough to the river that they could glimpse at the river from their seat. At the last second, the host took a hard left and led them through a glass door onto a lit patio with a single table. The patio pushed up right against the river, giving them a spectacular view of the swift waters and the buildings on the other side. “Here you are,” the host declared in a nonchalant manner. “Your server will be with you soon.” As soon as the host had left them, Starlight ran to the railing and put her hooves on it, looking down at the water. “Wow! You got us incredible seats!” Comet Tail let out a single, joyous laugh. “This has to have been the owner’s doing, because it wasn’t me! That old pony really came through…” Starlight and Comet Tail strolled out of the restaurant just over an hour later, smiling and much more comfortable. “Wow, you were right Comet Tail! They had great food!” Comet Tail beamed back. “They were really on point today! The salad, especially, was crazy fresh!” “And that view…” Comet Tail shook his head. “I’ll have to thank him sometime. I really wish that I could take credit for that one…He must have gotten wind of my reservation.” They turned the corner and the spires of Ponyville Castle came into view. Starlight slowed her gait slightly. “Oh, we’re almost home. I was having such a good time…” “Really!? I-I mean, if you’re having a good time, he date doesn’t have to be over…” Starlight flushed red. “W-what?” “I-I-I-I meant w-we can go get some ice cream,” Comet Tail elaborated sheepishly, gesturing toward a small ice cream and gelato shop that was still open down a side street. Starlight exhaled and smiled again. “Yes! Let’s go!” she said, leaning into Comet Tail as they walked in together. He fidgeted just a little, but leaned back into her as well. Starlight ordered bourbon vanilla ice cream while Comet Tail got mint chocolate. They stood outside at a high table to eat. About halfway through her ice cream, Starlight began to get curious. “Hey, Comet Tail?” “Yeah?” “Can I try a bite of your ice cream? I’ll give you a bite of mine!” Comet Tail smiled back at her sweetly, and pushed the cup over to her with his muzzle. Starlight moved her spoon over (they couldn’t be expected to share spoons yet…right?) and scooped up a wad of the dark frozen mush. She gently took a bite, quickly licking her lips to make sure she didn’t leave any embarrassing residue. “Wow, that’s amazing!” she exclaimed, throwing her hooves up. Unfortunately, one of her hooves contacted the ice cream cup and sent it splattering right onto Comet Tail’s muzzle. He shook it off and looked at the ice cream on his muzzle with crossed eyes. Starlight threw her hooves over her muzzle. “Oh my gosh!” she cried, her voice muffled by her hooves. “I’m soooo sorry!” Comet Tail shifted his gaze from his muzzle to Starlight and grinned. Then, he laughed. And continued to laugh. And Starlight couldn’t keep herself from laughing either. The few ponies still out at this hour looked oddly at the cackling couple. Eventually, their laughing tapered off, but slowly, as if neither wanted it to stop. “Here,” Starlight managed to say between giggles, using her magic to wipe his muzzle with some napkins. “…Stop scrunching it up, I can’t get it all!” “Sorry.” When Starlight had dabbed the ice cream away to her satisfaction, she tossed the wad of napkins over her back into the trash can. “Nice throw!” “Thanks. I’m so sorry, but I think I stained your coat.” “Yeah, I think so. Yellow stains pretty easy…chocolate will do it,” Comet Tail said, wiping his muzzle with a hoof. “I’ll take a shower when I get home.” “Should we go?” Starlight asked, tilting her head. “I can wait and enjoy the evening for a few more minutes…that is, if you’re not embarrassed to spend time with a stallion that has chocolate on his muzzle.” Starlight giggled, and in a brash move that surprised even her, scooted closer and laid her head on the side of Comet Tail’s neck. As Starlight and Comet Tail approached the castle, her heart began to beat out of her chest. What was she going to do about the parting? Should she kiss him? She would be okay with it, but she was almost sure that he wouldn’t be! What was it that her friends had said? She could trust their advice! “You can’t make it too easy for him!” “Oh, how could I have forgotten!? You must make sure to make the moment as awkward as possible for him. Anything to force him to take the initiative! Unless he was absolutely perfect on every count, you might even want to give him the cheek if he tries anything. Make him work for it, dear.” “What if I don’t feel ready?” “Then brusquely thank him for the evening and slam the door in his face. Honestly, darling, this is really quite intuitive. I can’t hold your hoof through the entire process.” Wait, wait, what had Spike said!? “Now, I want you to forget everything they told you about how to act. Okay?” “Just great…I’m flying blind,” whispered Starlight. “Uhh, Starlight? Are you okay?” Comet Tail asked. “Oh, Y-yes!” Starlight answered loudly, realizing that she was standing right outside the castle’s main doors. “Um…thank you so much for a great night.” “You’re welcome, uh…” Comet Tail seemed to flinch for a moment, before pulling Starlight into a hug and nuzzling her cheek. “I-I had a good time too.” Starlight hugged him back tightly and nuzzled his cheek as well. She didn’t let him go at first, either. After maybe fifteen seconds, Comet Tail whispered, “Um, would you like to, maybe, go out again sometime?” Starlight nuzzled him again. “Yeah. I really, really would.” Comet Tail pulled away. “Good! I was afraid you were trying to get rid of me with that ice cream attack!” Starlight sputtered to come up with a retort. Comet Tail winked before turning around and heading back into town. “See you soon Starlight!” he called back. Starlight shook her head, smiling, before pulling open the castle double doors, revealing Spike tied to some furniture with a mix of streamers, ribbon, lassos and various other handy supplies. “…What happened to you?” she asked, far more curious than worried. Spike groaned. “My discussion with the others about relationship boundaries led into a long argument about aesthetics and the nature of love, and they ended up tying me to this stuff and going out to spy on you. Don’t worry, I fed them a false lead as to your location.” Starlight narrowed her eyes as she observed the excellent knot-craftsmanship that held Spike in place. “So, uh…” Spike spoke up again, “How was your date?” Starlight’s eyes lit up. “Oh, it was so wonderful! He’s the sweetest guy, and he got us a table right on the river even though the restaurant was full, and we got ice cream after even though we didn’t plan on it, but I spilled on him, but he was okay with it, and-“ “Hey, that’s great,” Spike interrupted. “Quick favor: could you untie me? I’m afraid the tissue in my left arm is starting to die off from torsion.”
In Which Spike Saves The Day, AgainAuthor's Note I've been busy and occupied with other projects, but the story is alive! Two chapters to go! In Which Spike Saves The Day, Again “Begone!” Spike cried, jabbing the broom forward aggressively. “Spikey-Wikey, you will put that broom down this instant!” Rarity stomped a hoof. “Starlight Glimmer needs our advice for her date!” “No! Not after I had to rescue her from the awful advice you gave her last time. Leave this place and do not return!” “Spike, you are acting MOST uncouth!” “So it’s uncouth to want Starlight to succeed? BEGONE WITH YOU! ALL OF YOU!” Several more well-timed jabs of the broom forced Rarity, Twilight and Pinkie Pie out of the map room, allowing Spike to shut the door and jar it shut with the broom handle. Spike turned around to see Fluttershy slowly crawling toward Starlight on her stomach. “That means you too, Fluttershy.” Fluttershy looked up, timidly. “Oh, um, hi Spike. I was just going to give Starlight some tips on picking out a dress and doing her mane…” Spike gave her a deadpan glare. “…They’re going to the carnival.” “…Oh. Well, um, there’s no sense in not looking your best…right?” “Fluttershy, I am asking you kindly to leave Starlight alone.” Fluttershy looked down sheepishly. “Oh…Well, I mean, I think that it’s really really important that I talk to her too, Spike. I think it’s vital that she’s well prepared for her date, because we all want her to succeed, and-“ Spike took out a spray bottle and sprayed water on Fluttershy, who let out a timid ‘eep’ and cringed under the aerosolized assault. “Go on, Fluttershy.” A few more strategic sprays, and Fluttershy had scampered out of the room. “Wow,” Starlight finally spoke. “They were really aggressive… I can’t believe you sprayed Fluttershy.” Spike took a deep breath and sighed. “Nopony likes spraying Fluttershy, but she gives you no choice. She doesn’t leave you with any options.” Starlight looked down at Spike, suddenly unsure of herself. “Maybe we should have let them help…I mean, look at me, I’m a mess.” Spike strode up to Starlight and took one of her hooves in his claws. “Starlight, you look radiant just as you are. You don’t need a dress to make you stand out at this carnival. It’s a romantic venue…Just be yourself and enjoy your time with him, and I promise everything will turn out alright.” Starlight grinned widely and scooped him into a hug, giving him an extra-warm nuzzle on the cheek. “Oh, Spike! You know just what to say to make a mare happy!” “Alright, alright,” Spike groaned, trying to wiggle out of her determined and affectionate grasp, “save it for Comet Tail, why don’t you?” “Oh, that reminds me,” Starlight began, blushing. “W-what do I do at the end of the date? Should I kiss him? Or let him kiss me? Or is it too soon to be thinking about this? I mean, we sort of nuzzled after our last date, and-“ Spike made a calming shushing sound and held up a claw. “Starlight, you’re overthinking this. I think it’s important that you are affectionate to him…y’know, cuddle on the Ferris wheel and what not, since he’s probably more scared of you than you are of him…but when it comes to the end of the date, just go with your gut, and the moment, okay? I’m sure it will work out.” With that piece of advice, Spike turned tail and began walking out of the room. “Take some time to relax, I’ll let you know when he shows up,” he called without turning his head back. “Wait!” she cried, holding out a hoof. Spike turned around, raising an eyebrow. “Yes?” “…The others are going to spy on me, aren’t they?” “You betcha. Good luck with that. Let me know how it goes.”
