The spirit of parties saves Equestria!

by Jest

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random, Pinkie Pie, Main 6, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Original Character
Length: 6775

Pinkie Pie has taken it upon herself to save equestria from the xenophobic bigotry running rampant. If only she could get a handle on her newfound chaos powers, this would be a lot easier.

Pinkie Pie, or the spirit of parties. (Depending on who you ask.) is out to save equestria from itself! When Celestia falls ill, every nation seems ready to pounce on this moment of weakness, from the minatuars to the diamond dogs, even the everfree itself seems to sense the times of unease. Pinky has all of discord's power, so clearly she should be able to bring order to this chaotic land. Right?

Warnings Minor blood and language.Also first attempt at a more PG story, lemme know if i let any adult language or violence slip past the ol radar.Double warning, also my first time trying to write in a less long winded style so feel free to comment about the pacing. Would love to hear what you think.

Unfortunetly this story is cancelled, feel free to stop by this link in order to ask any questions you may have.

Published 2016-08-11 04:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-01-27 00:33:54 UTC

Step one:Construct the guest list

Pinky Pie placed a talon upon her chin fluff, stroking it thoughtfully. How in Equestria was she going to fix all this toxic chaos? She slowly turned upside down while thinking, unfortunately the new vantage point did little to help her come up with a solution. A tickle rose in the back of her throat and she coughed out the congealed mass of evil chaos. “Blech, gross. I gotta fix this before all this ickiness gives me the tummy ache of the century!”

Whilst upside down she floated up above canterlot hoping that she would see something that would help her come up with an idea. The ancient city was fast asleep under Luna’s moon. Well, most of it anyway. Pinky could never quite understand why they called las pegasus the city that never slept because with the amount of black chaos that clouded the city’s skies it was clear neither did canterlot. She made a mental note with her lion paw hand to check in with that other city that also didn't sleep. The chaos there was tainted slightly but overall it was fun and well meaning. Which was delicious but like a cucumber sandwich with too much salt. It didn't help the flavor but it's not like it ruined it or anything.

Glaring up/down she focused on a particularly nasty cloud of black chaos that puffed constantly from a grandiose structure she knew to be the senate house. Although it's gleaming spires usually inspired awe in those that saw the majestic building it was marred in Pinky’s eyes. It was as if a giant dragon had taken up roost in the building and then lit everything on fire. The stream of black chaos that rose from within made Pinky gag just looking at it. That stuff tasted gross and made her stomach do backflips. (Not in joy like when she ate a whole raspberry cheesecake for breakfast.)

The clouds rising from within the structure blotted out the moonlight. Even the ever present stream that billowed out from the poor part of town seemed pleasant in comparison. At least there it is tinged with hope and some good meaning chaos. Here it was blacker than the blackest black…. Pinky struggled to imagine something suitably black to which to compare it to. Her face scrunched up in contemplation. TIMES INFINITY!

She was loathe to enter such a tainted structure but she figured she would have to go in at least to take a peek at what kind of nasty ponies could make such a foul stench. Her feathered and bat wings worked in disharmony to bring her down closer to the ground. There was no way in tartarus she was going to drop down through that cloud of ickiness. No matter how important her mission.

Panicked gasps and the fleeting sounds of hooves reminded Pinky most ponies weren't used to seeing the spirit of parties quite yet. Within her mind she imagined her old pony self and snapped her taloned fingers. Her head felt warm but she didn't feel her hooves touching the ground. Slowly she cracked open her eyes to look at her hands. “Oh poo.” Her head was really warm for some reason.

“Honey your head's on fire.” Pinky turned to see a blue unicorn mare engrossed in a book in a nearby cafe. Suddenly that warm feeling made sense.

“Oopsey daisy.” Pinky snapped her other hand and a bucket of water apeared above her head quickly dousing the fire. Leaving behind a signed and tarnished (and significantly blacker) pink mane. Sucking in a giant breath she squeezed as hard as she could forcing her hair to pop back up to it's usual place, sans the burnt pieces. “Thanks miss!”

Pinky observed the bored mare still reading her book. She was plain in the extreme, fun trickled out of her in a steady stream and Pinky could feel just how much she was enjoying her book. She thought of the perfect gift for the studious mare that had saved her mane. Pulling in a second deep breath she snapped both fingers then pointed her hands at the book. For a second nothing happened.

The unicorn looked up at the spirit of parties with a cocked head. Than her book exploded, sending her toppling off her chair and sprawled out on the ground. It wasn't supposed to do that! Flapping her mismatched wings over to the fallen pony she looked down to discover she was completely unharmed. (Thank Celestia). The pages of the book held a soft glow now and turned all on their own. The unicorn quickly scrambled back onto the chair and inspected the book. It was completely unharmed and seemed to float a foot away from her face at exactly perfect reading distance.

Pinky beamed, finally something went the way she wanted! Minus the explosion. But that was kinda cool. Maybe next time she would go with an explosion but a small one though. Pinky floated away from the confused mare inspecting her now quite magical book. She loved giving gifts to ponies and that one was perfect! She patted herself on the head with her arm she held in the other arm. Floating around a corner to face the senate house once more she was met with a cacophony of screams and panic.

“AHHHH IT'S DISCORD AND HE'S GOING THROUGH A PINK PHASE!”

“RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!”

A small gathering of ponies around a musician all bolted away from the spirit of parties tripping all over eachother. “MY LEG!” Came the agonized cry of an oddly fish like pony.

Rolling her eyes she snapped her fingers only for her hair to light on fire again. Oh well, maybe she should just go invisible as to make sure nopony panicked and ruined the surprise. She closed her eyes and imaged a ghost in her mind. Holding the image in her mind she snapped both fingers again.

When she opened her eyes she still had hands. “Oh poop not again-.” They were human hands clad in white gloves, looking down she saw she was wearing a black suit, with a white belt. She also had feet, clad in white shoes. “We are not doing another cross over.” She snapped both fingers again and this time turned completely invisible. She didn't even notice the theme song or twin circles that appeared above and below her and moved to meet in the middle.

Silently thanking Celestia (again) she moved through the gathering crowd of confused bystanders and guards that had formed a perimeter. She glided straight through the gathered ponies, making more than one of them clutch themself as a sugar rush they didn't see coming burst through their veins. Pinky stifled a giggle with a paw, she had no idea how to turn off that side effect of her floating through ponies nor did she want to.

Making her way through the crowd was easy enough, her newfound height allowed her to look out over even the tallest of stallion’s heads. Just beyond the edge of the crowd and up a grand set of stairs sat two doors and two very bored royal guards. Although one arched an eyebrow at the scene that had played across the street the other looked as though he had mentally clocked out. Pinky frowned, guards were the worst but these two wouldn't know a joke if it hit them in the face.

Slowly walking behind the super bored looking stallion she placed a hand under her arm and let rip an enormous arm fart. The effect was immediate, he blushed and began stammering while his fellow guard looked over at him with a barely contained smile.

“It wasn't me!”

“Suuure let me guess it was three legged pony?”

Before they could continue bickering Pinky inched closer to the stammering stallion’s sedentary behind and let rip another arm fart. Both of them looked a mixture of shock, disgust, embarrassment and the tiniest hint of anger. The two guards stuttered back and forth for a few seconds before breaking down in laughter. Their spears cast aside to the ground, forgotten.

Above them pooled a pink cloud of chaos the overeager pink spirit of parties drank up in one big gulp. It was like the best cotton candy she had ever tasted with a tiny hint of something spicy.

She quickly phased through the closest wall and left behind the giggling guards, her work there done. Inside the black cloud had become a mist that saturated everything. From within her mane Pinkie grabbed a gas mask and affixed it over her face. The haze dimmed slightly and the icky feeling of rising bile disappeared from the draconequus’ mouth.

With a grim look of determination Pinky pushed herself through the building (literally) and towards the source of the great clouds of evil chaos. When she finally peeked her head through the last wall and into the senate speaking room she rubbed the glass on her gas mask. The evil chaos pouring out of these ponies put black snooty to shame! It positively charged the room with evil stuff!

All around her ponies sat on two great raised platforms facing a solitary third platform where Luna sat. Her chair was far cooler than other simple wooden ones, rising on a high back emblazoned with her cutie mark. She was a single ray of moonlight amid the mass of darkness. That wasnt right. Pinky peered closer at one of the raised platforms where 40 something ponies sat. This was where the two more liberal factions sat. Both the loyalist party and the progressives were for the most part creating great waves of black smoke. Although within both parties and especially within the loyalists there were rays of sunshine and moonlight that hinted at their pure intentions. It was still a sad sight for the parties that was supposed to be loyal to the princesses and in favor of progressive social programs.

On the other side sat the two other parties. The Mercantile guild whose origins could be traced all the way back to their ancient namesake. Whom favored the least control of the market and a general hands off approach to government. Although most of them were adding to the billowing black chaos a few weren't. However far worse were the other party next to them. The united party, although famed for pulling equestria out of the depression that happened after the fall of Nightmare Moon. They had become more and more corrupted by fear and xenophobia. Every last member of this party was contributing to the foul chaos that polluted the senate house.

Amid it all sat the princess of the moon. Her usual regal demeanor was hampered somewhat by deep bags under her eyes. Pinky frowned, although the lunar princess wasn't known for being chipper neither was she known for her dour attitude. For a split second their eyes met and a smile graced the princesses’ lips. Pinky smiled back and waved a paw at her exuberantly. Her smile widened slightly before her gaze drifted back to the shouting mare at the forefront of one of the raised platforms to luna's right. A voice Pinky had tuned out until that moment.

Her hoof was raised as was her voice. “They cannot be allowed in this city at all, they are parasites by their very nature!” They would sooner-”

Luna raised a single weary hoof. “If you have nothing to add other than rumour and rhetoric than sit down Echelon.” Her curt tone and refusal to use the mare’s entire name made the pony bristle but reluctantly sit back in her seat.

Pinky floated over behind the throne and curled up next to luna’s chair. In one hand she held a remote while in the other she shoveled popcorn into her mouth with a miniature trowel. Luna silently wished she could turn off her alicorn granted true sight so she could further ignore the Pink draconequus. Reluctantly she did admit the “sight” of her was a welcome change from all these angry “nobles”.

A pink paw pressed the remote and above the next speaker's head appeared a screen that slowly lit up. The alicorn cocked an eyebrow and glanced about. Nopony else seemed to notice the strange apparition. She almost glanced over at Pinky before the speaker opened his mouth and distracted her from that train of thought.

“With all due respect your highness we are in complete agreement on the subject of the changelings, and no amount of posturing or continuous debate hours can change this.” Above him within the screen danced a cartoonish version of himself around an equally cartoonish version of luna. The cartoon speaker danced around the princess making rude gestures and sticking out his tongue. While within the princess whimpered and shrunk down.

The real Luna wasn't sure if knowing how the speaker really felt made her more relieved or angry. Not for the first time she considered merely striking down the venom spewing whelp. Those times were gone though and unfortunately that meant she should pay attention to whatever drivel he spat.

“-further more the lateness of the hour has become most pressing. I move that we put this matter to a vote and be done with it.” He looked around at the other nodding heads with a barely concealed smile of victory.

A few heads remained unmoved, and fewer voices still were raised in objection. Alone, apart from her ponies Luna frowned. This was not going the way she had hoped. All her most logical arguments for the inclusion of the peaceful changelings had been shot down by rhetoric and bigotry. Both of which she was still partially surprised were in such abundance at what was supposed to be the most peaceful senate the world had ever known.

The channel switched to what she can only imagine where his future desires. As before the cartoon speaker was a horde of changeling bodies that stretched as far as the eye could see. Luna scowled and the screen disappeared, accompanied by a quiet gag from the draconequus.

Luna frowned, reluctant to call the vote knowing how it would turn out. Defeat clouded her mind while a resounding sadness weighed on her limbs. “We will adjourn until the morrow.” A murmur began to rise at another distraction. “At which time their will be a brief hearing and a vote.”

All eyes turned to the previously victorious stallion who placed a hoof against his chin in mock contemplation. “The vote must happen before noon, we cannot waste another day on this senseless prattle.”

Luna sighed, doing her best to stuff down the well of emotions that threatened to spring forth at any moment. “That is acceptable, goodnight to you all.” She bowed slightly at the same time the gathered ponies all bowed back. She quickly rose from her throne and walked around the back of the room and into the hallway behind her throne. Trailed by a certain pink draconequus.

When they had walked/floated far enough down the hallway to have a relative sense of privacy Luna cleared her throat and turned to the mistress of chaos. “Hello Pinky Pie what brings you here?”

Pinky could feel the tension radiate from the princess of the night in pulsing waves of ick. She pulled off her gas mask and smiled widely. Despite all the stress she was still the polite and kind pony she (sorta) knew. “Well i was hoping to help, now i'm just trying not to gag on all that rancid chaos.” she waved a taloned hand in front of her face as if wafting away a nauseating smell.

“Oh yes i bet that would feel… unpleasant for you.” Luna fixed the floating mare with a concerned look. “Would you like me to summon you some coffee? Or perhaps a pastry perhaps?”

“Some blueberry frosted muffins would be nice, thank you!” She snapped her fingers, summoning a monstrosity of blueberry and muffin. It pulsed and slid through her fingers. She snapped her other hand and dismissed the evil muffin. “I haven't quite gotten that one down quite yet.”

The effort it took to gag was too much for Luna. Instead she just smiled weakly. Something about having around the spirit of parties instead of chaos meant one less thing to worry about. Well, worry less about anyway. They walked the last of the way in silence, both thinking about what they were gonna say.

Pinky’s mind whirled with just how big the party she would have to throw to shake off this oppressive miasma of ick from canterlot. Wait she hadn't been to ponyville in a while what if it was as bad there as it was here?! Her head shot to the direction ponyville was, or so she thought. It took every ounce of willpower not to snap over there. Luna would know what was going on, hopefully. So she had to stay, at least long enough to get her muffin anyway.

The aforementioned princess wasn't thinking about much other than just how tired she was. Holding down the fort while Celestia was indisposed had sapped even her alicorn virility. How her sister had put up with that rancid flock of no good-. She squashed the idea before she let it get out of hoof. When Tia was back or this mess blew over she would put forth her idea at dissolving the senate. But as it stood right now she simply didn't have the energy to attempt the momentous task without backing from her sister. Oh and a long undisturbed week of sleep.

At long last they entered the meeting room. It was small, barely large enough for four or five ponies to sit comfortably around a small table surrounded by pillows. Luna loved this room, it jutted out from the senate building slightly allowing for a large skylight that let in the early moonlight. She felt invigorated just standing beneath the pale blue sky. Pinky had curled up around a small mountain of pillows she pushed together taking equal amount of pleasure in her pink plush accommodations.

A moment later a small teal pegasus pushed open the door. “Your highness your tea and muffINS!” She threw the plate of muffins and tea was holding when she saw the pink draconequus.

Pinky just sighed and snapped her fingers, making the tea and muffins freeze in mid air. She plucked the muffins and placed them on the table then scooped the tea out of the air with the now empty cup. Placing it beside luna she shooed the stunned pony from the room and closed the door. Settling back into pillow mountain she cocked an eyebrow at Luna.

“What?”

Luna held a bemused expression. “We really should make an official announcement about your new… form.” Her hoof waved over the draconequus’ body.

“But that would spoil the surprise.” Pinky’s big sad eyes held little sway over the tired princess but she let it drop anyway.

“So you said you wanted to help, i don't suppose you mean helping me convince all these angry whelps the value of allowing trade with the changelings?” Luna was unsure exactly how the first spirit of parties could possibly help with such delicate matters of diplomacy. But at this point she was willing to try anything.

Pinky thought about it while consuming her first muffin. “Dis ish really good.”

“Manners Pinky.”

Pinky grinned sheepishly and finished her muffin before speaking. “If you think that will help this great big evil chaos storm you have baking than sure!” Her mind wandered back to thoughts about ponyville and if it might be in an even worse state. “But i gotta go check on ponyville, something is telling me this problem is a doozy. Namely my tail!" Said tile was vibrating enough to make pillow mountain lose its structural  soundness and collapse into a slightly different heap.

The lunar princess nodded knowingly. For months now tensions had been brewing with nearly every one of equestria’s neighbors. Each one seemed either nervous that Celestia had fallen ill or ecstatic at the sign of weakness. The griffons had already begun testing the waters by annexing a valley on the equestrian border. Although not populated and poor in resources the symbolic gesture had resonated with both populations. Causing quite a stir in the neighboring countries for very different reasons.

The miniataurs had stepped up aggressive new trade relations in an attempt to get a better deal out of the “weaker” of the two ruling princesses. The diamond dogs who recently organized into a fledgling nation had begun border raids in an attempt to capture slaves. Even the everfree forest itself seemed to sense the air of unease that had settled across the land. Monsters unheard of for decades extended their hunting grounds, disrupting trade and endangering the lives of any they encountered.

With such turmoil their allies were worried and rumour suggested that all save for the crystal empire were in talks with Equestria’s enemies. Luna couldn't really fault them for that though. No being wanted to be on the losing side of history after all.

Worst still was the reaction such aggression fostered in the mind’s of ponies everywhere. Across the entire land ponies of all shapes and sizes grew more hateful and resentful. Friendship’s between different races crumbled. Xenophobia ran rampant and long time equestrian griffons, changelings, and other race’s felt the pressure from their scared neighbors. Even lonelings, without any allegiance to any hive were signalled out just for being a part of the changeling race.

Power hungry ponies leapt at the chance to find an outlet for the displaced aggression. One particularly nasty earth pony with a mane that looked like he had a rat stapled to his head even went so far as to suggest the construction of a giant wall. He was quietly excused from the audience hall but a startlingly large group of ponies seemed to rally around this bizarrely charismatic rat stallion.

All this topsy turvyness made Pinky’s stomach rumble in anticipation. The chaos brewed these past few months could feed her for a thousand years or more. But the taste was simply not worth it. So it was up to her, the newly crowned mistress of parties (and chaos) to fix the problem only she could see!

Noticing Pinky had finished (literally) inhaling  all the muffins Luna continued. “From what i hear ponyville isn't much better off.” She sipped her tea daintily, than realizing her company’s lack of manners shrugged and downed the drink. “Some diamond dogs that are apparently not part of Dymondia came to town and are quite the nuisance. The everfree is stirring with monsters and a couple of long time griffon residents of ponyville have been harassed.”

Pinky gasped audibly. “I wasn't gone that long! I just HAD to go cheer up the crystal empire after that no good nasty crystal dragon showed up.”

“Thank you for that by the way Pinky, if what i heard is correct you are quite the hero over there. Even if the only ponies who knew it was you were princess Cadence and Shining Armor.”

Pinky started turning red and only stopped when she was a bright fire engine red. She shook herself thoroughly and stood up. This was no time for blushing! She had a mission! She had to save ponyville and equestria! But first she knew there was one pony in particular who needed her right now more than anypony.

“Where is Twilight?”

All joviality fled from Luna’s fledgling smile. “She is by Tia’s side, the same place she's been since this whole fiasco began.”

With a nod and tiny rain of confetti Pinky vanished. Leaving Luna to her dark thoughts and slightly less dark tea.

The moon had risen slightly since Pinky spoke with Luna giving the perfect amount of illumination to Twilight’s impromptu laboratory. Pinky’s head poked through a skylight, silently scanning the room for any sign of her favorite purple princess. All around the room tables were covered in books. Chalkboards lined the walls filled to the very brim with tiny lines of script, indecipherable to all but the writer. Various beakers and strange scientific equipment Pinky had never seen before covered what few pieces of table not already occupied by a book.

Near the door lied a crumpled purple lump wearing a labcoat. Pinky approached cautiously, unsure of what to do in case her friend had hurt herself somehow. When she noticed the slow rise and fall of her back the panic she felt dissipated somewhat. Her mane and tail were a complete disaster and large bags clung to the underside of her eyes. If Luna and Twilight were having some sort of not sleeping contest Pinky wasn't sure who would be the winner. That seemed to be the extent of the damage however. Pinky plucked the pencil the sleeping pony had been chewing on and placed the impromptu pacifier on the table beside her.

The princess didn't even flinch when her soother was removed. A weak smile edged it's way across Pinky’s face. So studious and dedicated, she sometimes envied Twilight’s single minded dedication at times. Her own ability to focus was less than stellar she knew. Pushing away the small feeling of jealousy she tore a piece of her mane off and fluffed it up considerably. Slowly she pushed the fluffy chunk of hair beneath Twilight’s head. The mare shifted around slightly but didn't move her head from the cotton candy hair pillow.

Hmmm better, but not perfect. A stiff breeze rolled in from the still open sky light making both draconequus and princess shudder. Pinky closed the window quickly and returned to the princess’ side. She looked around for something to suit as a blanket. Across the room were a few extra lab coats held by silver hook. Thinking quickly she grabbed one and pulled, stretching the fabric out until it was big enough to cover a certain overworked pony. She gave it a shake to increase fluffiness then tossed it over the sleeping pony.

Nodding at a job well done she snuffed out the few still burning candles and quietly opened the door to leave. She wished she could have done more for the one pony that needed cheering up more than anypony else but... She stopped in the doorway and turned back around, thinking about what more she could do. Snapping her fingers again she summoned a small pile of bright pink cupcakes and a tall cup of punch. She didn't quite have the hang of her newfound powers but one thing she always knew how to make were cupcakes and punch. Maybe that would cheer her up when she woke up. Nodding again she stealthily slipped out of the room and closed the door.

This hallway was much different than the one her and Luna had walked down less than an hour ago. Where luxury and opulence seemed to ooze from every available space in the senate house here it was completely absent. Stripped down to nothing more than lines of doors and tile floor it was quite the stark contrast. And it was clean! In the senate house you could spot an odd dust bunny that a janitor hadn't quite found or a scuff mark that couldn't quite be worked out. Here however every inch was a spotless gleaming white. Pinky hopped up into the air on mismatched wings. It was so clean she felt as though she was dirtying it by just stepping on it.

Maybe princess Celestia was awake. Surely she knew of how to fix all this even in her current state. But where was she…. Staring down the unlit hallway she saw a soft light spill out from under a door to her right. Flying over she opened the door a crack and slipped inside.

A single solitary guard stood at rigid attention pointing his spear at the floating pink spirit of chaos. A yell already forming on his lips. Pinky just rolled her eyes, this little joke was becoming more and more tiring every time. She snapped her fingers and the guard crumpled into a softly slumbering pile. Pink hands touched the guard all over making sure he wasn't hurt. Apparently her snapping had worked perfectly this time other than his mane turning green. Which wasn't too far off from his natural color. Pinky  shrugged and maneuvered him into a more comfortable position then surveyed the room.

Several small candles lit up the surprisingly small room. Illuminating a large bed that held the princess of the sun. Pinky gasped, she had never seen the princess since she became sick but this was far worse than anypony had ever thought! A large white sheet covered her all the way to the way to her face. Something she was suddenly quite happy for. Her face was marred with deep black pits. Some so deep she could see bone underneath. Her lips had rotted away to nothing revealing rows of off white teeth. Pinky looked away and sniffled the tears springing to her eyes. She couldn't bear to look anymore.

Amid the crushing sadness a thought surged forth. She had all of discord’s power, surely she could do something! Pinky cracked open her eyes, avoiding the princess’ exposed face and staring intently at her body hidden beneath the blanket. She strained her eyes, willing them to see the unseeable. For several seconds she wasn't sure if it worked then all at once the form beneath the covers became an enormous mass of colored lines. Most seemed bright yellow, the color of sunbeams through a window at midday. But others were darker, tinged with black. They spread all across the princess as if they were a second circulatory system made entirely of colored string connecting larger balls of string.

The threads shifted and moved as the princess breathed in and out. Pinky cracked her fingers and leaned in close confident she could help. That confidence vanished when she looked closer at one of the black lines. It had intertwined itself with many healthy sunny lines that connected from around where her heart was to where her liver? should be. There was no way she could get that one without potentially hurting the princess. So she looked at another line. This one seemed to hover close to the princess’ gallbladder. Wrapping around and around the faint but present organ. She slowly extended a wavering hand to the thread before retracting it instantly. The black thread seemed to shift and constrict when her hand strayed close. A pained whimper escaped the slumbering princess making Pinky take a few hesitant steps back.

She couldn't help her. All she knew how to do was to break things. Not unbreak them! She thought about snapping away the black lines then thought better of it. If she couldn't even put a pony to sleep without accidentally turning his mane green than what chance did she have of doing something this complicated without accident? Her heart sank and the feeling of powerlessness returned. Maybe Celestia knew? All she had to do was visit her dream and ask her. Yeah that could work! She was asleep after all not dead!

She focused all the floating bits of energy she felt inside her into her fingers then snapped. Her eyes closed instinctively, ready for the worst. However the only thing that seemed to change was the soft singing of birds that drifted on a faint warm breeze. Slowly she opened one eye. Daylight smacked her in the eye making her close it with a start. Both of her eyes snapped open to take in the bizarre scene she had glimpsed for a moment.

She was floating a few feet away from the top of a mountain where a bemused alicorn fixed her with a faint smile. “Celestia?”

“Pinky?” Her confusion matched Pinky’s own. “How did you? Oh right.” Celestia looked up and down Pinky’s mismatched body remembering what had happened to her. “How is Twilight?” Her expression instantly became concerned. Guilt was heavy in her voice.

Pinky rubbed her face with a taloned hand, unsure of how to answer. The sun seemed to grow brighter as Celestia scrutinized her expression. “She's just tired, working too hard. You know how she is.” Pinky tried to put on a confident face.

Celestia stared hard at the spirit of parties for a few more seconds before letting out a long breath. “That is a relief, her dreams are in turmoil and i lack my sister’s skill in dream walking. The most i can do is sit up here and watch.” Her head twisted to look down the side of the mountain.

There lay a nearly perfect replica of Canterlot, save for the dimensions being slightly off. Pinky’s eyes strained through the sudden fog of hundreds of pony’s dreams at the one that Celestia was focused on. The bizarre dimension bending nature of the dreamworld was second nature to Pinky since she had gotten lost in discord's old house that one time. There in the midst of everypony else Twilight’s dreams glowed with a distant purple light, as if calling out to those who could see it. Instead of the doors and windows she had heard Twilight describe dream walking with Luna, there was little more than a tumultuous storm cloud tinged with Twilight’s tell tale colors.

Celestia sighed once more and seemed on the verge of saying something. Than looked away. Pinky’s mind finally caught up with the sudden change in scenery. “How can I fix you?”

Celestia smiled gently. Even becoming the new mistresses of chaos had not swayed Pinky’s steadfast desire to help those she could. Nor did it gift her with any form of tact. Pinky shifted from foot to foot in mid air, unsure of what to make of the smiling alicorn. “You cannot i'm afraid.” Pinky’s eyes began to water. “Worry not my little pony, i feel no pain here.”

A small trail of tears poured from the Pink pony's eyes. “But i saw all those black lines inside you if i just cut the right one i could-”

“Kill me.” She was reluctant to state it so bluntly but, the soul was not something anypony should mess with. Celestia extended a hoof and pulled the draconequus in close hugging her tightly. Her resistance lasted only a second before she melted into the alicorn’s embrace. “Shhh it's okay.” Celestia ran a hoof through the younger mare’s mane. “Thank you for trying to help.”

“But i didn't do anything right.”

“I appreciate it none the less.”

There they lay together until Pinky’s sobbing abated to a sniffle. Both appreciated the presence of the other for different reasons. Celestia for the first company she had gotten since she had first fallen ill. Pinky for the seemingly infinite well of patience and kindness the princess seemed to possess.

The urgency of her mission finally broke thoughts of fuzzy alicorn snuggles. She untwisted her form and stood before the alicorn once more, a look of determination on her face. “Well if I can't help you then maybe you can help me.”

The alicorn’s head cocked slightly but she said nothing.

“There is a nasty storm of icky chaos brewing above equestria and it's up to me to stop it.” Her face drooped and her eyes could no longer hold Celestia’s gaze. “Only i have no idea how to. I tried parties, bringing all those ponies and diamond dogs and griffons and changelings together for fun! But they just ended up fighting and arguing.”

Celestia could tell where Pinky was going with this downward spiral and quickly interposed before she could continue. “May i tell you a story?”

Pinky reluctantly met her gaze and nodded.

“Long before you were born shortly after i had to banish Luna.” She hesitated and took a breath before continuing. “The griffon empire reunified after 275 years of infighting and civil war. Their lands were decimated, their ability to feed themselves had been crippled by constant warfare. But they had the numbers and warriors groomed from birth to fight. This left them with little option than to try and take more food or starve.”

Her facade of strength crumbled under the weight of the memories. A tear slipped from her eye. “Naturally they saw equestria as a prime target. We had earth pony innovation to thank for another bountiful harvest. We exported more food that year than any other year before. Equestria wanted for nothing and that year nopony went hungry. Knowing this I sent an envoy laden with foodstuffs as a sign of good faith to the griffin empire. In hopes of establishing a good relationship with the new government and alleviating the starvation crisis.”

Her many centuries of practice holding her emotions did little to stifle the wave of anger that rose within her. The dream realm seemed to amplify everything she felt and without the experience that Luna had she was lost to the whims of rage for several seconds before sitting back down and continuing her story. “They killed and ate the envoy. In hindsight i should have seen that coming. Luna’s banishment had not come without blood shed and i was bound and determined to not see anymore. So i sent more of our reserve crops to the edge of our border and sent a letter via magic of it's location. Nopony would have to get hurt and they could feed their starving population.”

PInky sat in rapt attention, her usual bag of popcorn absent as she was fully engrossed in the story. Her long slender body curled underneath her, hands resting on her chin. Celestia faltered trying to find the right words. “Than what?”

“They did something i believed to be impossible. They burnt the food and began invading equestria.” Pinky’s shocked gasp broke the alicorn’s concentration.

“Why would they do that?”

“The old warmaster ruled the fragile nation in a vice like grip of fear. With so many warlord’s still running rampant within his own country any sign of weakness would have been a death sentence for their fragile peace. If i had gone personally or inquired directly with the new warmaster i could have known this and sent food in secret. But because what i believed what i was doing was right i didn't even think of the implications.”

Celestia’s gaze doubled in intensity stealing every last fibre of attention Pinky had. “You cannot be blinded with the knowledge that you are doing the right thing. You must still think of how your action would be perceived. Even when every fibre of your being is screaming that what you are doing is just. Do you understand?”

PInky nodded her head slowly, memorizing the words. After she committed them to memory her curiosity got the better of her. “Than what happened?”

Celestia looked away, in the direction of the griffon empire. “The second and third griffon wars, 75 years of fighting and… The rest you can read in a history book.” Celestia’s face drooped in exhaustion, recalling such unpleasant memories had taken a toll on her she was ill prepared for.

Things couldn't be solved with a snap of her fingers this time. She would really have to think long and hard about these problems. That meant she would have to focus on canterlot and ponyville, not both. Canterlot certainly had the bigger problems, with angry nobles an exhausted Luna and a veritable mountain of evil chaos. On the other hand ponyville was her home, where most of her friends were and if they were in trouble how could she not try and help?

“Ah ha!” Pinky’s hands grabbed each other and pulled until she split down the middle and became two Pinkies. The first Pinky, or was it the second Pinky? Either way, that one wrote a two on it's chest while the other wrote a one in black marker.

Both Pinky’s spoke in unison pointing at the one with a two on it's chest. “You go to ponyville. While you-” Pointing to the other Pinky. “Stay here.” Both Pinky’s shook both of the other Pinky’s hands. “Great idea Pinky.” They both said. Nodding sternly to each other both Pinky’s raised a hand and snapped, vanishing.

Celestia rose from her mountain trying to call out after the Pinkies. But they were gone, flopping back on top of her mountain Celestia looked down at the rest of equestria with pity.“Oh fu-"

Step two: Start finding guests

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