Looking Pink, Feeling Blue

"It doesn't have to be this way."

"Huh?"

Twilight took a deep breath. "You can just tell me. I'm not going to get you in trouble. Our friends don't even have to know."

Pinkie frowned. "I don't want to keep secrets, Twily."

"Then tell me."

Pinkie tried to remember. "I don't know. I mean, I guess you talked to my family. You're smart enough to know that I was raised in a pretty unconventional way."

"How so?"

"Twilight, we had nothing. We barely ate, and of course we were very sick. A rock farm has no purpose. Nobody...I don't know, bought our rocks? What could we possibly need to sell them for?" Twilight shrugged, and Pinkie groaned. "I was treated differently. We all got slapped occasionally, but me more than my sisters. I was always the baby."

"Even though Marble is the youngest."

Pinkie nodded. "Yeah. But she didn't talk back, or destroy things when she got agitated. They all used to be like Maud, emotionless. When Dash did the Rainboom, something inside me sparked. I knew there was more to me than that stupid rock farm.

"So I went to Ponyville. I thought, I'm a smart mare. I can live without my family. But I was immediantly overwhelmed. Rainbow and Rarity greeted me and I felt sick. The colors, the happiness...it was like I'd been drugged, Twily.

"I had nowhere to go so I stayed at Sugarcube Corner. I didn't think I'd stay there but I did. I was kind of a loner after that. I didn't have any friends, and I didn't go outside."

"What about Cheese Sandwich? He said-"

"He visited me before he 'mysteriously showed up.' I told him that I wasn't feeling well, and I wanted him to throw Dash's birthaversary. The whole thing was a show. I was feeling better by the end of the catastrophe, so we threw it together but it was mostly him."

"Why'd he visit you?"

"Well, okay. I guess I had one friend. Him. He lived on a real farm not to far from my parents'. We played together a lot when we were younger. I had a crush on him."

Twilight giggled. "I think he likes you too."

Pinkie laughed. "Maybe. But he gets that I'm into mares more."

"Anyway..."

"Oh, right. Okay, so the Rainbow Dash incident. Twily, I have to admit I was mean. Cruel. Me and my sisters didn't get along when we were little, and my relationship with my parents was even worse. And besides Cheese, they were the only ponies I knew. I had a lot of issues. Anxiety, depression...but you already knew that.

"So of course, I had this little voice in the back of my brain, that I call Pinkamena. Pinkamena kept saying, 'Rainbow Dash and Rarity, what is their problem? Why do they keep singling you out, Pinkie? Everypony already knows that you're a freak. A sick freak.'"

"Oh, Pinkie..."

"I was surprised too. Pinkamena had been my safe spot for years. She reminded me I was sane, and that everything would be okay. And suddenly, she snapped. And I followed her. I believed her."

"So what happened?"

"I wanted to get Rainbow Dash and Rarity to leave me alone. At first I considered moving, but I had no money and the other cities in Equestria were so much bigger and scarier. So Pinkamena told me to scare them."

"So you gave in."

"Pinkamena told me I was a sick freak, so I decided I would be.

"I invited them over. Rarity was busy, so me and Pinkamena decided that Rainbow Dash would just tell her what happened. Anyway, I invited Dash. I told her that I needed help baking, even though I'd never baked. So she went down into the basement, and I locked her down there. I waited until she passed out from fear. I didn't really hurt her. But I did scare her. I put fake dead dummies and fake blood and I tied her in a way so she could get out. And then I waited, and she ran."