Get Out of my Sight, Foulest iPad!
Luna was finishing taking a "shower." She levitated the towel and dried off her wings. Then she slipped on the soap that was on the floor. "Ahhh! Things weren't nearly as difficult to do a thousand years ago!" She roared out. "Why does no builder put a bathtub in this bathroom instead of this blasted shower!" So she was feeling pretty miffed when she came out of the bathroom. Luna was about to start raising the moon when she noticed something on her bedside table. It had a note attached to it.
Luna, this strange device is called an iPad. Ponies have worked very hard on it, and they would like approval from a princess. I chose you to try it out because I know these can be very fun if you try hard to use it. Just hold down onto the button to get started.
Tia
The...Eye Pad had a black screen. It had a blue case on it with a picture of her cutie mark. The Eye Pad just sat there, staring at Luna. "You are called an Eye Pad!" Luna barked. "So where are your eyes?" The Eye Pad didn't respond. It was still sitting there, staring at Luna. It was hard to stare without any eyes, but the Eye Pad somehow accomplished that. Luna was starting to feel very scared of this Eye Pad, but she was determined not to show it. So Luna stared back. The Eye Pad was not intimidated. Luna made a face. The Eye Pad did not move.
"Cursed Eye Pad! Why don't you speak?" All of a sudden it's screen started flashing. Was it trying to intimidate her? She would never be so easily intimidated! The Eye Pad made a loud noise and vibrated. Luna was intimidated. Writing showed up on the screen.
Hey Luna! Are you enjoying your new iPad?
Luna was scared. Then Celestia came into her bedroom. The Eye Pad did not move anymore. Celestia looked at the Eye Pad on the table. "Luna where is the moon? It should be up by now." When she didn't respond Celestia looked at the Eye Pad. "What are you doing?"
"What is to be done with this Eye Pad you speak of?" Luna barked out suddenly, scaring Celestia.
"Luna, you're supposed to play on it! Like this!" Celestia levitated it over to Luna and showed her how to use it. She pressed the buttons with her hooves. "And to type you just tap these little letters!" Celestia smiled at Luna's astonished face.
"So that is how you use this....Eye Pad," Luna said, still confused. "And how does it stare without....eyes?"
"Luna, it's not staring at you, it's just an iPad, it's not alive!" Celestia sighed. "You have fun with your iPad. I have...royal duties I must attend to. But don't forget to raise the moon!" Celestia walked outside, no doubt to eat cake. Luna turned back to the Eye Pad.
"So...Eye Pad...Tia says I must play on you. And the password is ieatcakeeveryday. What an odd password." Luna tried to type in the password but her hoof cups clinked against to screen making a very annoying noise. "Cursed hoof cups! Why does law demand I wear hoof cups everyday? Twilight Sparkle doesn't have to!"
Outside, Celestia flinched at the sound of Luna's ranting. Maybe she should have told her to take her hoof cups off before she started. Then two light blue sparkling objects flew out of the upstairs window and landed right in the middle of her beautiful red velvet cake.
"Stay out my sight!" Luna bellowed to the hoof cups that were now caked in cake. (Aha, you see what I did there?) "Where was I? Ah yes, the password." She tried to type in the password with her hooves, but that proved even more difficult than with the hoof cups. And Luna couldn't throw her hooves out the window like she did with her hoof cups. So she ended up trying to use her magic to type on the keyboard. Her magic didn't work though so she had to use her tongue. It was one of the most disgusting things Luna had ever tasted but it worked! And now Luna was in.
There were little square icons that represented the games Luna had. That's what Tia said anyway. Luna frowned over the one called...YouTube? "YouTube?" Luna said, horrified. "Who is in a tube?" She selected it anyway, thinking she'd give the makers of the app a stern talking to when she got the chance. "What is this...videos? This has nothing to do with tubes!" A message showed up on the screen.
Welcome, Luna. Click here to get started
Luna leapt back, knocking over her chair. "How does this Eye Pad know my name? Stalker!" She clicked her name anyway and then looked at the videos she had to choose from. "Oh look! There's Pinkie Pie! I would like to see a video with one of my friends in it." And so she clicked on the video labelled Smile HD.
Celestia had just finished taking the hoof cups out of her beloved cake when a horrifying cry made her leap out of her chair. Had Luna been hurt? "Tia-a-a-a-a!" Luna cried from inside. Yep, it was that loud. "Tia, what is Pinkie Pie doing? Tia...it's horrible...there's...there's...nooooo there goes AppleJack! Tia-a-a-aaaaaaaaaah!" She sobbed.
"Oh no, she's found that side of the fandom," Celestia muttered. She lay her ears flat and levitated the fork up to her mouth, hoping to block out her sisters cries. Then the window smashed and a vase landed right in the middle of Tia's poor cake.
Luna stood back from the Eye Pad, breathing heavily. It was smashed slightly from when she threw a vase at it, but Pinkie Pie was not...harming her friends anymore. She scrolled down and read the comments.
This is awesome! This video was what introduced me to MLP!
"Awesome? You are a sick twisted freak!" Luna roared. "And what do you mean...MLP?"
I had nightmares for days!
"Nightmares?" Luna pondered. "I did not give anypony nightmares last night! Except for Celestia. But that was different."
She read a few more comments before it occurred to her that she could type her own comment. Luna gritted her teeth as she thought about the video. She tapped on the box that she was supposed to type into and then she began typing.
Thiujkhg vgefdeo I hafre shiajttgbnjt
"What is wrong with you Eye Pad! Let me type my comment!" She tried again.
Iunb revmlkky hetr this'd vidddeo
The keyboard was too small for Luna to type with hooves. "Make this keyboard bigger, Eye Pad!" Luna demanded. It did not make the keyboard any bigger. Luna waited for a moment before adding, "that's an order!" But apparently this Eye Pad didn't take orders from a princess. "Do you hear me! Make this keyboard bigger at once!"
Celestia took all the pieces of the vase out of her cake and told herself not to worry. After all, she had had the same reaction to that video when she watched it. She was about to take a bite when the iPad came flying out of the window and landed right on her horn. It had poked an enormous hole right through the centre of the iPad. Glass weaved itself through her flowing mane and dropped into her cake.
"GET OUT OF MY SIGHT, MOST FOULEST EYE PAD!!!" Luna roared, loud enough for all of Canterlot to hear.
Author's Note
I had the same reaction as Luna after I saw that video.
