Chapters The Life and Times of Benjamin Inventor (Part 1)
I Arrive in the Great Hall
I Arrive in the Great Hall
I woke up to find myself in the Great Hall in the Canterlot Palace. I recognized the stained glass windows but was still disoriented, so it took me a few minutes to regain my wits. I had memories of living a long life and dying as a human on Earth although just like the last time I went through this, the memories were a bit fuzzy. At least this time the Authorities said I’d have a Guide of some sort since for whatever reason they were in a hurry. And I knew the mythos from the cartoon which the Authorities said was a poor reflection of the True World, just like Earth. I had a Purpose, too, although as usual the Authorities didn’t tell me what that was. Annoying. Well, nothing for it but to do my best.
I looked myself over. Equine this time, I thought, as I looked at my reflection in a window, certainly different than human. The stallion body I was in was very well muscled and felt young. I had a unicorn horn as well, a black hide with a white mane and hoof feathers. I started wandering back and forth, moving from window to window like a tourist, stretching my legs. The Hall was huge and while some windows had scenes, there were a number with nothing in them at all, just plain glass. I turned when I heard a door open and there stood two pegasus guards.
“Who are you and how did you get in here?” the first asked.
“I…don’t remember. I think my name is…Benjamin,” I replied
“Come with us, please,” said the second, “and don’t give us any trouble.”
The guards led me to a small room which was comfortable enough but was clearly a holding cell. A few minutes later a sergeant (you can recognize them in any World) came in and asked me the same questions as the guards. He got the same answers, so he left. I took a quick nap and the opening door woke me up. It was some sort of higher ranking Earth pony, rather stiff, with a secretary who was carrying a quill pen and parchment. The stiff pony started right in.
“You told the sergeant you didn’t remember how you got here?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Hmm, you’re polite enough, anyway. Your cutie mark is one I don’t know and believe me, I know all of them.”
I looked and noticed a wizard’s hat over a yin-yang symbol on both flanks. I said nothing, though, since I had no idea what it meant, either. The stiff pony stared at me expecting an answer and I just stared serenely back.
“Well, I have orders from Princess Celestia herself to bring her any strange ponies which appear out of nowhere.”
“Oh?”
“Yes, we’ve had some…trouble…with them before. So, follow me.”
I followed the stiff pony to yet another room, this one far more opulent. He and the secretary left me without another word, so I did some breathing exercises, a few T’ai Chi warm-ups and then napped on a handy sofa. I assumed someone was watching me but still felt no apprehension of any kind.
Once again I woke up just as the door opened and Princess Celestia flanked by the same two pegasus guards walked in. I’d dealt with the aristocracy before, so I bowed as best as I could with one forehoof forward and the other back. Princess Celestia sent the guards back out and stood watching me.
“Rise,” she said. I stood. She was beautiful, I thought, and very compelling.
“I am Princess Celestia, Ruler of Equestria. You’re in my palace in Canterlot, our capital city. My counselor tells me you call yourself ‘Benjamin’.”
“Yes, your…ah, Highness?”
“”Your Highness’ will do. Do you remember anything at all about how you came here?”
I told her I remembered a long life well lived and dying at a ripe old age. I said I had no idea why I woke up in the Great Hall or why I was in her World which was true enough. I did not say I remembered her from a cartoon.
“Well, then,” said the Princess, “you seem harmless enough. I’d like for you to remain in the palace for a time, though, as my guest.”
“For…observation...I take it, your Highness?”
The Princess actually grinned a little. “I see we understand one another,” she said.
I told her I’d be delighted to stay (not that I had any choice) and bowed as she left. One of the guards led me to some comfortable quarters which included a bed, a very nice bathroom and even a balcony. The guard told me I’d take my meals with the guards or the palace staff and I thanked him for his professionalism. He unbent just a little and wished me a good night.
My days soon settled into a routine. I realized very quickly I could take on another pony’s cutie mark for just a few seconds and learn what they knew. The first time it happened by accident as I idly wondered if someone could teach me to read the pony language. As I looked at one of my guard’s cutie marks, his took the place of mine for a couple of seconds in a swirl of color and all of a sudden I had a flood of knowledge about his skills. That included reading along with basic training in the crossbow. Useful, I thought; the Authorities came through on this one.
At first I used the guards’ cutie marks since they flanked me most places I went. It was a tremendous help in learning about pony culture, the usual dos and don’ts of any society and some of the more subtle interactions; I kept this ability to myself so the guards were most impressed with how soon I adapted to their worldview. I also learned the guards’ training included a rather limited form of Krav Maga. I asked one of the sergeants if I could work out with the new recruits, so one day I found myself in the training arena.
I’d kept up my morning T’ai Chi exercises and realized I knew several other fighting styles as well thanks to the Authorities again. I raced to the top of the class in no time, and then moved on to some of the more advanced classes. I found myself tossing around Earth pony and pegasi guards and eventually ended up working with the instructors. This led to a bonding and excellent rapport with the guard stallions.
Word got back to the Princess and she gave me some more privileges including dispensing with my flanking guards. While I had no official position, the martial arts instructors asked the Treasury to pay me a salary for working out with them which I did individually as well as in a group. Some were very tough indeed but we got along well since I’d spent some time in the military myself in my past life. Although I didn’t remember the details all that well, I understood the mindset.
I was in the dining hall with some of the instructors talking about mares when someone at the door called “Atten-shun!” I stood with the others and in walked Shining Armor, the Captain of the Royal Guard and a fine looking unicorn. He was also the only unicorn I’d seen in the Guard.
“At ease,” he said.
Most took their seats and resumed eating. Shining Armor walked over to our table and introduced himself to me. We shook hooves and he asked me to walk with him. We left the dining hall and headed into one of the many royal gardens. We walked in a comfortable silence; I seemed to set ponies at ease. I polled Shining Armor’s cutie mark when he wasn’t watching and learned about tactics, strategy and dull information such as budget cuts and uniform costs. I also picked up some battle magic including some lethal Level 1 and Above Top Secret techniques. A single unicorn could devastate a regiment with those.
Finally, Shining Armor spoke. “You’ve made quite the impression here. The stallions speak very highly of you and say they’ve never seen such expertise.”
“They are good stallions, Colonel. My compliments to your recruiters.”
He laughed a little. “They’re a handful, too, particularly when they’re off duty.”
“Well,” I said, “you certainly don’t want a group of shrinking violets as palace guards and reservists.” We both laughed a little and then Shining Armor came to the point of his visit.
“Princess Celestia would very much appreciate it if you could spend some time with me, her and some of her advisors and tell us what you remember about your previous existence. While your case is most unusual, I think you know you’re not the first to ‘visit’ us here. You’ve certainly adapted more quickly than we thought possible.”
“I’d be honored,” I said. “Just let me know where and when.”
“Excellent!” said Shining Armor. “I’ll set up the meetings as soon as possible.” I could tell Shining Armor enjoyed dealing with someone who got straight to the point.
Two days later I found myself in a conference room with the stiff pony I first met. He was the Chancellor of the Exchequer and the only name I ever heard anypony call him was “Chancellor”. Also there was Shining Armor, the Princess herself, this shadowy pegasus everypony called “Agent 6” who I eventually learned was part of a Canterlot Secret Service and a couple of astronomers, the closest ponykind had to engineers. I polled all their cutie marks except Princess Celestia’s and learned I knew a great deal more about the Universe than they did. I started with Newtonian physics, and then moved onto electricity and internal combustion which got their attention since they’d never heard of such a thing. I drew a diagram of a difference engine, the closest I could come to computer technology they would understand and of course went into weapons systems.
The Chancellor scheduled the meetings off and on for weeks and they covered all sorts of topics. We usually met in the morning and then had lunch together. I found myself more and more drawn to Princess Celestia who was extraordinarily charming with us; even Agent 6 relaxed around her. During lunch I would occasionally go into various comedy routines I remembered (Rodney Dangerfield with his risqué humor was a favorite) and would have everyone including the Princess laughing until they cried; even the spy unbent enough to enjoy himself. I found much to admire in Shining Armor and we started to spend more off duty time together. I’d had very few male friends in my prior life and treasured his camaraderie. I even met his delightful little sister, Twilight Sparkle, who was in some sort of special university at the capital and a favorite of the Princess. I found her engaging if a trifle pompous and academic but decided age and experience would eliminate that soon enough.
My social life picked up as well. I spent some time with a few mares on the palace staff and went on some very fun dates, but it was never anything serious. The days passed quickly and eventually I realized I’d fallen in love with Princess Celestia; the more I saw of her, the more in love I became. I also knew I couldn’t just knock on her bedroom door and ask her on a date. I’d dealt with social class and royalty before I came to this World and I had no rank, no social standing and no contacts. I was naturally on my best behavior when I was with the Princess but we were almost never alone. She of course was bound by centuries of tradition and couldn’t risk any scandal by spending time with me, either, whether she liked me or not. Well, it couldn’t be helped, I thought. I decided I’d just wait and see what happened and since I was no lovelorn romantic, I went about my business with nopony the wiser.
Thanks to my cutie mark talent, learning to use magic was no trouble at all. Celestia noticed this and soon asked me to join her for a private lunch. After the usual small talk, she mentioned my proficiency and said even some of the best magic users weren’t as capable. I showed her how I could poll a cutie mark and take on another pony’s for just a few seconds. I used hers and gained a flood of knowledge including how to raise the Sun and the Moon (not that I could do it right away, of course, but I understood it). Celestia was stunned and looked at me very closely for a few minutes. I sat calmly under her scrutiny and ate my cucumber sandwiches.
“So,” she finally said. “You essentially can gain all knowledge in Equestria and become extremely powerful.”
“Yes, your Highness.”
“And what would you do with you if you were in my position?” asked the Princess.
I thought a moment. “I’d either kill me outright which is the most practical solution or find some way to control me so I couldn’t run amok.” I took a bite of some excellent mushroom and chewed on it. “Mmm, marvelous!”
Princess Celestia looked surprised I understood Realpolitik so well.
I knew this was the only chance I’d have, so I braced myself and said, “Of course, your Highness, my love and affection for you would preclude any such behavior. And, magic or no, Shining Armor along with several of the other guards most likely could take me out if necessary.”
“Wait a moment…’love and affection’, you said?”
“Yes, your Highness.”
“You…love me.”
“Yes, your Highness. I have from the moment I first saw you.”
Stunned silence followed. I sat with all four hooves curled under me and waited.
“You…mean you love me as your monarch?”
“Well, certainly, your Highness. But I love you ; you, yourself, Celestia. It’s very easy, you know.”
The Princess suddenly stood. I jumped to my hooves and bowed as she turned and, without another word, left the room. I stayed for a moment, then left and headed back to my own room. I wondered if I’d sealed my fate but since I had no fear of death (I’d already died to get here, after all), I didn’t worry about it.
I was practicing sword work with Shining Armor when one of the guards on duty showed up and asked me to follow him. He led me into the anteroom next to the throne room where Herself was going through the usual paperwork. She sent the guard and the secretaries out and I was alone with her again.
I bowed, and then waited for Herself to speak. For the first time since I’d arrived, Princess Celestia seemed a little uncomfortable but with her centuries of practice managed to hide it, at least from someone who didn’t know her as well as I did.
“Do you know why I sent for you, Benjamin?”
“No, your Highness, but I assumed you’ve decided what to do about me.”
“Yes…yes, I have. I want to spend some more time with you myself, and then I’ll make a final decision.”
Hah, that was more like it, I thought. Instead of saying that, I answered, “Why, I’d be delighted to spend time with you, your Highness. We can do or talk about whatever you like.”
“You’re not worried I’ll banish you to the ends of Equestria or the Everfree forest,” said the Princess, looking rather arch and mischievous.
“If you’d wanted me gone, I’d already be gone, your Highness,” I said, laughing.
“Well, then; I’ll send you a schedule. You may go.”
I bowed again. “Thank you, your Highness.” As I turned to leave, Princess Celestia said, “Oh, and Benjamin?”
“Your Highness?”
“When it’s just us, you can call me ‘Celestia’ or ‘Tia’.” She looked very sad for a moment. “Luna used to call me ‘Tia’. And she was the only pony who ever said she loved me. Nopony else ever has…except you, of course.”
I felt my heart turn over in my chest. How pitiful, I thought. What a terribly lonely life she must have led. Out loud I said, “The honor is mine…Tia,” as I bowed my way out. “And it’s ‘Ben’ to my friends and favorite monarch.”
I headed back to find Shining Armor so we could finish our bout and I could ask who Luna was since I’d never heard the name before. Shining Armor told me about Celestia’s younger sister Luna, Nightmare Moon, the Banishment and Celestia’s many years of ruling alone. Awful, just awful.
The next day a schedule of my time with the Princess did indeed arrive. The schedule gave me about two hours a day for the next couple of weeks with the Princess including some overlap with Twilight’s lessons. The activities included early breakfasts, lunches, walks in the royal gardens, time at the theater (not a favorite of mine, that one) and even some exercise which included hoof-to-hoof workouts. It turned out the Princess was extremely proficient and I had to remain particularly alert or she’d work her way under my guard. That only happened once and I had to admit I afterwards enjoyed tossing her onto the mat and pinning her down. On one of those occasions we were nose-to-nose and stared into one another’s eyes. The whole world seemed to stop and if she’d have been any other mare I’d have kissed her right then. I didn’t, of course, but as I helped her up I could sense her amusement and something else. Longing? I wasn’t quite sure.
Spring moved into Summer and I became a familiar sight around the Princess. There was some jealousy amongst the regular courtiers but I took care of that with some soothing words and, on one occasion, a punch to the jaw for this smarmy little jerk. I still trained the guards and spent a good bit of time in the Canterlot archives. I also acquired various languages if somepony knew another when I polled their cutie mark, so I became quite erudite. Even Twilight Sparkle was impressed with what I knew about magic and pony history. Keeping her from getting jealous was a job in itself since she was completely devoted to the Princess.
A Vacation and a Decision
One Summer’s day I was walking with the Princess through one of the parks. Even a walk was quite the event with all the ponies bowing or moving out of the way. I could tell Celestia was a little tired since she’d just finished some treaty negotiations with the griffons. As I looked around, I casually suggested she take some time off. The Princess looked startled and then asked me how I thought she could do that.
“You’re the Princess, after all. Just clear your schedule and leave. Go take the waters, swim in the ocean or disappear into the mountains. You can work the heavenly bodies wherever you are, yes?”
“Hmmmm,” hummed the Princess. “I haven’t had a break in years; decades, even.”
“There you are, then. Do you have a favorite vacation spot?”
“There was this beautiful resort by the sea at Stableside,” said the Princess wistfully. “You could walk on the beach, go to concerts, spend a day in the spa, play in the ocean.” She sighed. “It was wonderful.”
“Your Highness, I say take the time and go there right away. It’s what…three weeks until the Summer Sun Celebration and your ceremony in Ponyville? Why not take two of them off?”
Princess Celestia looked at me a moment, then I saw her draw herself up and become most regal. “And so I shall!” she said.
That started a flurry of preparation. I was startled when Princess Celestia sent down word that I was the only one who would be going with her. That of course caused a big stink since most of the palace expected her to take her usual entourage. Soon enough I had to refer all questions to the Chancellor who somewhat to my surprise was all in favor of the Princess not only going on vacation but taking just me with her. He knew I was capable of acting as bodyguard and also knew I was one of the few ponies in the entire kingdom who didn’t have any ambition or who desired royal favor. I also think he knew I was in love with the Princess although he never said a word about it.
Shining Armor was more than a little annoyed about the Princess choosing me instead of him. I stood my ground with him on this one and told him that I’d take good care of her. He still wasn’t happy and we had several intense rounds of sparring to settle it. We beat the living daylights out of each other but ended up laughing in the infirmary when we were getting our cuts and bruises tended. We talked it all over by ourselves as we walked back to the palace through the gardens.
“You’d better look after her, Ben, I swear by the Lord of Hel’s black and hairy tail you’d better.”
“Carl (Shining Armor’s Private Name which only family and his closest friends used), you know it has to be me. I’m the only disinterested third party here. Besides, you just want an excuse to laze on the beach. And I thought you were busy with that pretty Princess Tempo, anyway.”
“It’s Cadence which you know perfectly well. And, yes, we’ve known one another for years, ever since she used to foal sit for Twilight, but just started dating seriously a few weeks ago.”
“She is cute, I tell you what. And a royal. Vavoom.” Shining Armor couldn’t quite reach me but he aimed a hoof at my head, laughing all the while.
The night before we were to leave for the beach, one of the guards (a pegasus, a nice young stallion who was a first rate flyer) stopped by my quarters just as I was getting ready for bed. He said Princess Celestia had asked to see me, so I followed him to the royal quarters. I knew where Princess Celestia’s bedroom was, of course, but had never had any need to go into the room itself.
The guard knocked and opened the door for me. I thanked him and went in. The room was dimly lit and I had to wait a moment for my eyes to adjust. I didn’t see Princess Celestia anywhere.
“Your Highness?” I called out. “Tia? You sent for me?” From the back of the room I heard a beautiful, dulcet voice call out, “Back here.” I walked back and found a gorgeous cream colored pegasus mare with a white blonde mane resting on Celestia’s floor cushion. I had an idea who she was, but I thought I’d let Celestia enjoy her moment.
“But who is this?” I asked.
The pegasus gave a girlish giggle. “It’s me, Ben! This is my alter ego Sunny Skies. I’ve subsumed my magic so I can travel without anyone knowing me.”
“Well, how about that! What an amazing transformation, your High…uh, that is, Sunny Skies. Why, nopony, not even those closest to you, will know who you are. Even your cutie mark is different.”
“Yes, and we’re leaving very early this morning to catch the first train to the coast. Are you packed?”
“I am.”
“Me, too. We’ll take a couple of saddlebags and sneak out at 4. Only Shining Armor knows where we’re going and he and Cadence will wake us up.” She giggled again and I realized she was having the time of her life.
“I’m ready to go, Sunny, yes, I am! Until 4, then.” I remembered not to bow and headed back to my quarters. I went straight to sleep and slept the sleep of the righteous until I heard a light tapping on my door. I answered and found the very pretty and sweet-tempered Princess Cadence waiting for me. She was breathless and excited, too, and I realized this was as much fun for her as it was for Sunny. We met up with Shining Armor who was with Sunny and we all trotted to the train station. Before we boarded, Shining Armor shook my hoof and wished me well while Cadence and Sunny hugged.
The train pulled out right on time at 5. Sunny raised the Sun and lowered the moon at 5:45 exactly, and then we both went to our quarters in the sleeping car for a nap. We ate breakfast together at 8 and talked about other vacations we’d had. Sunny was fascinated with some of mine from my prior life particularly when I told her about the Grand Canyon and the Kentucky Horse Park.
We arrived at the resort a day later. We took a cab to the elegant hotel which catered to upper middle class ponies. I checked us into a very nice (but not the nicest) room with a suite, two bedrooms, a kitchen and a view of the ocean. Sunny raced out to the balcony first thing and stood with her eyes closed.
“Smell that sea air!” she exclaimed. “I fell rested already.”
Our days fell into a pattern of rising with the dawn, sleeping in a little more, having a good breakfast in the room (which I fixed; Sunny couldn’t cook at all), going out and about for concerts, tours, and time on walking trails, then lunch, a nap or Sunny shopping and finally an evening meal. Sometimes we went out in the evening as well since we’d planned on several events but other times we just rested in the room reading or talking. I was surprised at how quickly I fell into the “married” role; after all, I was married for 45 years before I died. We even had a few arguments about what to see when and about shopping which bored me to tears but generally had a splendid time. We went out dancing several times and I was pleased to see I was as good a dancer here as I was in my prior life.
We often talked of Princess Celestia as if she were somepony else completely separate from Sunny Skies. That’s how I learned the real reasons behind Luna’s banishment and how I found out in excruciating detail about Twilight’s course of study; Princess Celestia loved her like a daughter. I also learned Princess Celestia was desperately lonely most of the time with her sister gone.
After we’d been at the resort for a week and I’d sent a message to Shining Armor that all was well, we had a spa day. I polled the cutie marks on the spa ponies and picked up all sorts of techniques but was more than happy to have them work on me and then to soak in the mineral baths. Sunny came out more relaxed than I’d ever seen her and I realized she’d finally shed the burdens of ruling.
We went back to the hotel and agreed to take a nap before having a gourmet dinner at The Prancing Pony . I’d slept about half an hour when I heard my door open. I started to sit up but felt a hoof gently push me back down and then a pony lie next to me. Oh, ho, I thought, now that’s what I’m talking about.
It was Sunny of course and that started our love affair. I realized Princess Celestia had found a way for us to be together and not violate protocol and, since Sunny was the Princess, I loved her every bit as much. I also could feel a sadness in her I didn’t understand until much later. Meanwhile, a part of me knew she was Princess Celestia and had a kingdom to run but I just plain didn’t care; I had another week with her and I planned to enjoy every minute of it. Sunny must have thought the same since she was more animated and alive than I’d ever seen her.
We finished out the week in a haze of delirious lovemaking, food, sleep and walking on the beach. Sunny taught me to preen her as well and had me work at it each day. She said it was because I needed the practice but I thought I was because my One True Love was rather vain about her appearance and wanted to look her best.
We were lying in bed, her head on my shoulder, the night before we were to leave when Sunny broached the topic we’d both avoided: what happens next.
“Ben?”
“Hmm?”
“We go back tomorrow.”
“Eh? Yes, I know. The royal rail car will hook up to the train in Hoofington and you can change back to Herself well before we get to Ponyville and then home. Shining Armor and a contingent of the guard will meet Princess Celestia at the station and I’ll just blend into the crowd while they escort her to the palace.”
Sunny lay in silence a moment, then I felt her sniff, then really sniffle. I braced myself (all those years of marriage proved helpful once again) before she burst into those terrible, wrenching sobs mares have when they’re broken hearted.
“But what about us?” Sunny wailed. “What’ll we do? You can’t be Celestia’s consort, you just can’t! The last time she tried it centuries ago was a complete disaster.”
Oh, really? I’d have to ask about that one later. I held her tighter. I’d thought about this and was ready with an answer which was best for both of us and would allow Sunny to keep our time together to herself. I hoped she’d think of it first, though.
“I know, Honey, I know that. I know the answer when you’re ready to talk and I believe you know it, too. You won’t like it much but Celestia will. And we’ll always have Stableside,” I said, remembering Casablanca and not too proud to use it.
The sobbing soon turned back into sniffles. I gave Sunny a tissue and she got up to wash her face. When she came back, she lay on the bed with all four hooves tucked under her, a position she knew I loved. I sat up myself.
“You’ll have to leave. Celestia knew this even before we came here. You’ll have to leave Canterlot and start a new life somewhere else so she won’t pine after you and neglect her duty. Maybe it would be different if Luna were here, but she isn’t so it isn’t.”
“I know, Sunny. I knew what I was doing, I truly did. I’d do it again, more than once, if it meant I could have this time with you. And Celestia’s right; Herself can’t have me acting like a mooncalf around the palace.”
“A what?”
“Er…a lovesick moron.”
“Heh. ‘Mooncalf’.” After perking up a little, Sunny was sad again since “mooncalf” made her think of Luna.
“I love you, Sunny,” I said. “I always will, no matter what becomes of me.” We each leaned forward for a passionate kiss. “Princess Celestia knows her duty, though; her parents taught her well.” Sunny had told me about Tia’s parents and they weren’t ponies I was eager to meet under any circumstances.
Sunny sat up again. “Very well. Celestia is sending Twilight to Ponyville to help organize the Summer Sun Celebration. You could live there, perhaps open a shop of some sort. I know,” said Sunny animatedly, “how about an invention shop? With your knowledge of magic and technology, you could come up with all sorts of useful odds and ends. The royal treasury could give you a payout of oh, say, 10,000 bits along with a stipend for awhile until you’re established.”
I whistled silently to myself. The idea was a very good one (close to what I was thinking, too) and the initial payout which I didn’t expect was enough to make me fairly wealthy right away. I’d have to leave Sunny and some of my other new friends but since that was inevitable, I thought it best to accept.
“Well, that’s done, then.” We looked at one another sadly, then both grinned at the same time. Sunny pounced on me before I could move and we rolled around on the bed. This led to lovemaking so intense it became one great throbbing sensation followed by the sweet oblivion of sleep. The next morning we packed our saddlebags and checked out of the hotel. We caught the 7 o’clock train and were on our way.
The plan worked just as Shining Armor and I had organized it. A brass band and a contingent of guards met the train in Canterlot. Chancellor made a little speech welcoming Celestia back from her vacation as she stood regally on the platform, then her chariot drove her to the palace as the guard marched in front. Quite the show, I thought, as I left the train with the other passengers and made my way to the servant’s entrance. The maids and other staff made a big fuss over me as I walked in.
“Greetings, all!” I said to the smiles, pats and kisses. “We’re back, very posh, two weeks of lazing on the seashore and acting as bodyguard while Herself shopped.” Whatever the servants knew (and I guessed they knew everything, Sunny and all), well trained as they were they never breathed a word about it.
Princess Celestia left for the Summer Sun Celebration the next morning. All know what happened next with Nightmare Moon, the Elements of Harmony and so on. I missed that since I was still in Canterlot, but it affected my life and the lives of most of the ponies I knew for some time to come.
The Life and Times of Benjamin Inventor (Part 1)
I Move to Ponyville
I settled in Ponyville and was doing well enough. Twilight was my first customer when during one of her visits she noticed I’d made myself a kickdown door stop and asked me to make her four. That took off and I ended up filing a patent for them. I’d learned to shape metal with my magic and made and sold dozens of doorstops at 5 bits apiece (only the best quality, of course), a profit of 3 bits per unit for me.
The Ponyville blacksmith had retired a few months earlier, so a number of the local farmers came to me for their smithing which I was more than happy to do. I first met Applejack when Granny Smith came by the shop and asked me to stop by the farm to repair one of their plows. I went to the farm the next day and Granny Smith pointed me to Applejack who ran the farm’s day-to-day operations. Applejack was friendly enough but very shy with me; apparently she hadn’t spent all that much time around stallions other than relatives and never around unicorn stallions. There weren’t all that many unicorns in Ponyville to begin with and I estimated the ratio was 1:2:10 (unicorns to pegasi to Earth ponies).
Business began to pick up and I joined the Stable of Commerce. I made some excellent contacts there including Filthy (“Call me Bernie!”) Rich, Lyra Heartstrings who owned a music store and Rarity who ran an upscale boutique. Rarity was not only one of the Mane Six (who gained notoriety after Celestia named them all Protectors of the Realm) but was also an outstanding dancer. We went out a few times and eventually became ballroom dance partners. We talked romance as well and just as we were moving closer, I had my first encounter with the Magic of Equestria. That was one of those forces that everypony seemed to know about but no one actually understood. It was also the Guide the Authorities said I’d meet; I just Knew that although I’m not sure how. For no reason I could see, the Magic urged me away from Rarity. Apparently Rarity Felt something as well since we ended up just dance partners and nothing else. I was not pleased to say the least. I could have disobeyed since I had Free Will but this was the Guide ; best to listen even though I didn’t like it much.
I missed Canterlot, Shining Armor and of course Sunny, so I threw myself into growing my business and did well. Soon ponies from the surrounding countryside heard about my various skills and I ended up making day trips to some of the outlying farms. That put me in a perfect position to make a vendor list for the Grand Galloping Gala after the Chancellor wrote me and asked for my help buying supplies.
I wrote him back I’d be glad to do it and a few days later who should appear in the workshop but the stallion himself. I was working on version of a steam engine I hoped I could use for a small car when I heard the bell on the workshop door ring.
“Right with you,” I called out. I’d just finished shaping a cylinder and forgot I was carrying a connecting rod as I walked into the waiting room.
“So you’re a mechanic now,” said the Chancellor, making a show of looking me up and down.
“Chancellor! A pleasure to see you, sir!” I said delightedly, swapping the rod to my left hoof shaking his hoof with my right. “Yes, mechanic, blacksmith and general oddsbody. I unstopped a drain yesterday for the Widow Grass since the local plumber was on another job. Got some wonderful blackberry preserves for doing that. I play the piano two nights a week at the pub, too.”
The Chancellor chuckled as he returned the shake. “What pony would have thought it?” he said. He became serious for a moment. “Have you hung out your shingle as a healer yet?”
I held up a hoof. “I’ve tried to keep that very quiet. I asked around and the ponies here haven’t had a resident healer for a good 200 years. I’m not sure how they’d take to one just dropping in. You remember how it was in Canterlot with the doctors?”
“All too well. Miserable primitives.”
“Heh. Speaking of, how’s your knee?” I bent over to check the Chancellor’s left front knee which looked very good.
“No more swelling and good as new.”
“Excellent. Still, you’re here on business. This way to my office, if you please.” I put the rod on the workbench and escorted the Chancellor to a small office just off of the workshop. I offered him a snifter of brandy and we settled in a couple of comfortable chairs.
Chancellor pulled a paper out his pouch and handed it to me. It listed 50 or so vegetables including parsnips, turnips, greens and kale along with various fruit, all in alphabetical order. Each had an amount in pounds and bushels.
“This is what I need for the Grand Galloping Gala.”
“When is it again?” I asked as I looked over the list. 250 pounds of parsnips, I thought. Good grief.
“Four months. It’s on the last day of Tenth; it actually started as a harvest festival. I hoped you could arrange to get all of this to Canterlot. Year before last we didn’t have any contacts at all in the farming community and ended up well short of what we needed. The quality wasn’t the best, either, since we had to go halfway to Hoofington.”
“Hmmm, Sidesaddle Farm raises parsnips, Sweet Apple Acres has apples of course along with some cherries and peaches. Brickleback should have more than enough turnips in a couple of months…” I went down the list and matched it to the farms I’d visited.
“If you’d do it, the Crown would be most grateful. The Crown will pay for all the produce, of course, along with any expenses. You’d get a modest salary as well. And,” said the Chancellor making a show of looking around the room, “the personal thanks of her Highness.”
That certainly got my attention. I’d missed Sunny more than I imagined I could miss anypony, so I’d have used any excuse to see Tia again.
“I’ll do it, certainly. What’s the plan?” I asked since I knew the Chancellor always had one.
The Chancellor relaxed a bit once I agreed. “You’ll need to get all of this to the Ponyville freight depot and loaded on the cars three days before the Gala. We’ll have a special ready which will go straight to Canterlot with the goods. You’d travel with them, help unload and then stay until just after the Gala to help clean up. You always were better at cleaning and organizing than anypony and several of the staff begged me to ask you to help them with the preparations and takedown.”
I made a big show of examining my right front hoof. “Yes, it’s true, it’s true. How ever have you managed without me?”
The Chancellor smiled, then sobered slightly. “We’ve missed you. I’ve missed you, more than I expected, particularly since I don’t miss ponies. And Herself…well, she just looks wistful whenever your name comes up. I found her crying once but she apologized and said something was in her eye.”
I had no answer to that, so I just stared at the ground. “She’s well?”
“Busy coping with Princess Luna along with her other duties. I’d hoped to have a good Gala this year as a sort of gift.”
“Well, sir, you may count on me!” I said decisively.
“Good stallion! I’ll send you the details over the next few days and you can get started.” The Chancellor stood and I escorted him to the workshop door. We shook hooves again.
“Good to see you, Chancellor.”
The Chancellor looked thoughtful, then looked me right in the eye. “My family calls me Clarence.”
I knew what a great honor it was for a pony to share their Private Name. “Thank you, Clarence. I’ll see you in four months.”
After the Chancellor left, I started right in. I took a couple of days a week over the next few weeks to visit the farms again, this time with credit chits and ledger book in hoof so I could keep track of who was going to do what. The farmers were glad to get the business and all agreed to get the produce to the station on the appointed day. I told them if it strained their resources to let me know but all insisted they’d manage.
I left Sweet Apple Acres until last since it was closest to Ponyville. I walked there one beautiful Summer’s day and knocked on the door. To my surprise, Applejack answered; Granny Smith usually stayed in to take orders while the others worked.
“Why, Applejack, how nice to see you again,” I started.
Applejack reddened slightly. “Howdy, Mr. Inventor. Won’t you come in?”
We took a seat in the office which was just off of the huge kitchen. Applejack brought me some of the justifiably famous Apple Brand apple cider. I wondered idly as I drank it if I could build a machine to squeeze apples.
“Granny Smith not here today?” I asked.
“She’s takin’ her yearly trip to Appleloosa to visit the other side of the family.”
“Why, that’s fine! I’d hoped to take that trip myself soon.”
After the pleasantries, I got down to business. I’d need 30 bushels of apples, 5 of cherries and 5 of peaches. Most cherries came from out West but I told her I preferred local if she had it.
Applejack stood and walked to a rolltop desk stuffed with papers of all sorts. I watched her move and enjoyed the way her muscles shifted under her skin. She had an excellent figure, kept so by farmwork no doubt. She really was very pretty if a bit rough around the edges.
I’d drifted enough I missed what she said when she turned around.
“Say again, Applejack, if you please?”
“Uh…well, we can help you, Mr. Inventor, no problem. And we’re right proud t’ have them fancy ponies eatin’ produce from our farm.”
“Very good, very good,” I said. I made an entry in my ledger, then made out a chit for the cost which was actually very reasonable; Applejack already knew the delivery date since word got around quickly. As I handed over the chit, I remembered I’d seen Applejack last week as I took my daily walk.
“Applejack, I saw you running in the woods last week. I waved but you didn’t see me. Were you in a hurry to get somewhere?”
Applejack flushed from the tips of her ears down to the base of her neck. “Ah…I, uh…ya see, I compete. In th’ rodeo…and…well, working on the farm is fine and all, but I run to…” Applejack ran out of explanation, then. I decided she just liked to run for the fun of it and was embarrassed to say so.
“You know, I’ve done a little in that line myself. I was steeplechase champion of the Royal Guard.”
Her ears swiveled forward and she became animated. “Do you…suppose you could give me a few pointers? That’s my weakest event.”
“Oh, absolutely,” I agreed. I thought a moment. “I’ve become a bit soft with opening the workshop and all. May I run with you some evenings?”
Here came the blushing again. “Sure,” Applejack said, at least looking at me this time.
“Well, since we’re going to spend some time together, please call me ‘Benjamin’ or ‘Ben’ if ‘Benjamin’ is too long.”
Applejack nodded, this time with a slight smile. We agreed to meet halfway between the farm and the workshop an hour before Sunset the next day. I said I’d see her then and waved a farewell as I headed back up the road. I was humming to myself and I noticed for the first time since I’d come to Ponyville my heart wasn’t quite so heavy.
I like her, said the Magic of Equestria in the back of my head.
Me, too, I thought.
The Gala
The time just flew by and before I knew it, I was at the freight depot before Sunrise waiting for the produce to arrive. I enjoyed listening to the slow chuffing of the waiting locomotive which sounded far cleaner since I’d fixed one of the exhaust valves. The engineer, Roundhouse, was fascinated I could heat a boiler with magic, too. My breath steamed in the cold air; Winter was just around the corner.
Very soon I heard a clop-clop-clop of a pony and out of the mist came Spring Brickle, a good sized, calm Earth mare and the oldest of the four Brickle fillies. She was hauling one of the standard farm carts as if it weighed nothing at all.
“Miss Brickle!” I called out. “Greetings!”
“Howdy, Mr. Inventor! Care for some turnips?”
“I can’t wait,” I laughed. “On the loading dock, if you please.”
I helped Spring load the turnips into one of the crates I had ready, and then used a bit of magic to load it into the freight car. Usually magic wasn’t necessary since we had more than enough hooves and it made some Earth ponies uncomfortable as well. This time, though, we were on a tight schedule so I used it as well as my hooves. As the Sun came up there was a line of ponies (including Applejack, I was pleased to see) pulling carts filled with produce. I filled crate after crate, checking off the produce and marking each crate as it went into a boxcar. By 8, the last cart and come and gone and I had four boxcars full of fresh fruit and vegetables.
I had a quick breakfast and hopped into the cab at 8:30. I waved to the station master who sent the signal up the line and we were on our way. About a half mile out, Roundhouse, firepony and I all grinned at one another.
“Ready, stallions?” I said, rubbing my front hooves together.
“Yes, sir,” both answered at once. The firepony opened the fire doors and I sent a blast of magic into the firebox.
“We got us a wizard on board, boys, so no company notch for us! We’re a’beatin’ her on the back!!” Roundhouse yelled as he pulled the Johnson bar back and opened the throttle all the way. The engine surged ahead as he lay on the whistle and we all yelled out the windows like scalded cats: “Whoooohoo!” It was good to be alive.
We made it into Canterlot at 2:14, 16 minutes ahead of schedule, but still found the Chancellor and a squad of the Royal Guard waiting for us.
“You made good time,” said the Chancellor as I jumped from the cab and shook his hoof. Roundhouse and the firepony looked innocent and I just nodded. “You have the goods, I take it?” the Chancellor continued.
“All set,” I said as I handed over the bill of lading. I walked over to the squad which was in fatigues. I thought I recognized the squad leader.
“Jenson? Corporal Jenson? That is you, isn’t it?”
“Lieutenant,” said Jenson, saluting. “Good to see you again, sir. But it’s Sergeant Jenson now,” he said, proudly showing me his third stripe.
“Hah, well done!” I said as I retuned the salute. “I’d say you earned that one, am I right?” Sergeant Jenson just grinned. A good stallion, Jenson. I met the other burly Earth pony squad members, two of which I knew already. Behind them was a flatbed with long hitch made for six ponies and a lead.
“Got you doing scut work, then?” I asked.
“Yes, sir,” answered Jenson. “We’re to help you get the produce to the kitchen.”
The Chancellor had the bill of lading on one hoof and was holding a small abacus in the other. I could hear him making calculations. “Let’s see…48 crates in the first three boxcars and 42 crates in the last. 186 divided by 12 per is a little over 15 trips. At 20 minutes per trip, that’s…”
“Five hours exactly,” I finished for him.
Chancellor looked up with one of his quick grins; he loved mathematically inclined ponies. “So it is,” he said. “Do you need help loading the crates onto the flatbed? I can get another unicorn here in an hour or so or a couple of stevedores from the other depot?”
I checked and even though I was slightly fatigued, I had enough magic left. “I can manage if these mokes can haul the flatbed. They look a little puny and undernourished to me,” I said, gesturing with a hoof to the squad.
“We can manage, sir,” said Jenson as the other squad members grinned like wolves. “We just hope you can keep up.”
“Oh, really, Sergeant? Let’s find out, shall we?”
The Chancellor, pleased at my efficiency, just laughed and then said he’d be at the other end with another squad offloading the crates onto the kitchen loading docks. I waved as he trotted off, and then turned as the squad moved the flatbed next to the first boxcar.
“And away we go!” as I said as I lifted the first crate.
The Chancellor’s math was dead on and we moved briskly. The last load had 16 crates which pushed the stallions a bit but they managed it. The offloading went well, too, and we all gathered at the kitchen loading dock a little after 8:30.
“Well done, stallions!” said the Chancellor. “The kitchen staff has something for you.” The staff had started to unload and wash the fruits and vegetables and had set out some of the choice ones for the squads and me to eat. And eat we did.
Our late supper over, I returned Jenson’s salute, shook hooves and said I’d see him and the squad at the Gala. We were to be what the Guard called “window dressing”, stationed throughout the palace in our formal uniforms. I had the slightly larger role of supervising the #2 Ballroom and #2 Parlor, but with ponies as well trained as the palace staff, I doubted I’d have much to do.
The Chancellor and I were the last to leave. We watched the organized chaos of the kitchen for a few minutes, and then wished each other a good night. I made my way to my old quarters which were exactly as I left them. I was too tired for any nostalgia, though, and after a quick shower, fell into bed and knew no more the rest of the night.
I woke up at Sunrise the next day, refreshed and ready to go. I went through my usual morning ablutions then went downstairs to the officer mess hall. There were a few ponies there already and they greeted me like a long-lost brother which pleased me no end. I had a hearty breakfast and then went in search of the Chancellor. I found him in his office looking bright-eyed and bushy tailed.
“Ben!” he said, looking up from some papers as I walked in. “You’re looking rested.”
“I am, at that. What needs doing?”
The Chancellor shuffled some papers around, and then pulled one out of a neat stack. He looked up apologetically. “We’re five short on the culinary staff, so I’ve put you on kitchen duty. Do you mind?”
“Not at all. Is Steel Ladle still Chef?”
“Oh, he is. He’ll be glad of a unicorn’s help, though. And,” added the Chancellor with a roguish expression, “I believe you know several of the mares on the serving staff?”
“Let me see, let me see,” I said, making a show of looking vague as I tapped my hooves together. “I just might remember one or two.”
Chancellor laughed a long, loud laugh. “To the kitchens with you!” he said, pointing with a hoof. I saluted, did an about face and marched out of his office.
The kitchen staff was delighted to have me and I enjoyed seeing some of them as well. I snuck a few kisses and nose rubs with several mares in the cellars and service passageways in between cleaning, chopping and arranging. I also talked to Chef in his own language, a language with wonderful, liquid vowel sounds. He was moved to tears a few times since he hadn’t spoken it with another pony since I’d left.
Before I knew it, it was two hours before the opening and I was putting on my mess dress. I’d had it tailored when I was with the Guard and it still fit perfectly; all that running with Applejack had paid off. I took the service passageways to the kitchen to meet one last time with the six mares I was nominally supervising. Only one had seen me in mess dress before so I enjoyed the wide eyes and “Ooooos!” of appreciation; nothing like a stallion in uniform, I tell you what.
I went back upstairs and made one last inspection of the spotless #2 Ballroom and #2 Parlor, then greeted Jenson as he and his squad, looking splendid in their formal uniforms, reported for duty. They had their assignments and I got Jenson and two of his squad for my rooms which with me made for two guards in each. I would float between rooms, mingle a little and answer any questions the guests had. The #2 rooms were usually far less busy than the #1 Ballroom and Receiving Room but some ponies liked the break from socializing.
At 7:30 the mares had the food out on the serving tables and at 7:45 Jenson, his squad and I took our places. At 8 exactly we heard the opening ceremony music and a few minutes later ponies started to pour into the palace. An hour or so later Chancellor looked in and waved a hoof when he saw all was going smoothly. My one bit of excitement was a lost filly, a very cute if tearful pegasus Jenson carried over to me. I used magic to flip her onto my back, then strutted around with her until we found her parents. By then she was giggling at getting to ride on a Royal Guard and had forgotten she was lost. I did get to meet the Defender of the Realm from the Griffon War, an older, scarred unicorn Sergeant Major in the mess dress of the regular Army. When he walked in, Jenson and I both came to attention and saluted. He returned the salute and greeted us gruffly, very glad to see some other soldiers.
The Gala ended at 11 and by 10:45 my rooms started to clear. The mares started to remove the now mostly empty platters and I stifled a yawn. The party had gone perfectly and I knew that would please the Chancellor.
Suddenly, I heard an enormous THUMP from the direction of the #1 Ballroom which caused the floor to vibrate. Next came a series of crashes, then a tremendous BOOM! After just a moment, I looked over at Jenson and both of us raced out of the #2 Ballroom. We galloped into the Main Hall and through a cloud of dust saw ponies running in panic. With Jenson behind me, I grabbed a stallion as he raced by.
“What is it?” I yelled over the screaming and shouts.
“I don’t know,” he said as he struggled to get away. “I think it’s an Earthquake!”
I let him go and Jenson and I ran into the thick of the choking dust. We could just see into the #1 Ballroom. The alicorn statue was smashed to bits and the four ornamental columns were all lying on the floor with three broken into several pieces. One of Jenson’s squad was lying unconscious as were other ponies, several bleeding. Another squad member was helping a third with a broken front leg limp to one of the French doors.
“Let’s clear this room, Sergeant!”
“Sir!”
Jenson waved to the other squad members and pointed to the six doors leading to the Hedge Maze. They nodded and opened three of them. The dust started to clear as ponies raced out the first exit they could get to. I started toward the downed ponies when I heard a sort of rumble from outside. I looked up and who should burst in through the Menagerie entrance but Fluttershy, one of the Mane Six and a fellow Ponyville resident.
"You're…going to LOVE ME !" she screamed as animals of all sorts poured past her into the ballroom.
What in the name of the Magic I thought, then didn’t have time to think any longer since I was too busy trying to herd animals of all sorts back outside. Princess Celestia had very light security on her animals since they had agreed to stay in her menagerie willingly; that of course meant they could leave whenever they wanted and if they panicked, there was no stopping them. I ended up using a magic barrier which turned the frantic animals around and back out the door.
That done, I looked around for the first time; the whole disaster only took a minute or so and about 10 minutes had passed since then. All twelve of the Guard on duty had managed to clear the ballroom and were administering first aid to the injured. I did a quick assessment and started toward an older mare with a nasty cut on her head. Just then, the Chancellor raced in with several more of the Royal Guard behind him.
“The Princess!! I can’t find the Princess!” he said, more flustered than I’d ever seen him.
When I’d polled Tia’s cutie mark, I learned far more than how to raise the Sun and Moon. I also learned a good many Most Secret spells which only she and a very select few magic users knew. One of them was a Pony Locator spell which could find anypony no matter where they were. I cast it and found Princess Celestia not too far from the palace.
“I’ve got her,” I told the Chancellor.
“Go check on her, would you?” said a worried Chancellor. “I’ll take over here.”
“On it,” I said and teleported to where I’d found the Princess.
I popped into place in a donut shop not too far from the palace. I found the Princess with a worse for wear Mane Six, laughing and talking as if nothing at all had happened. After I listened for just a few seconds, I could tell they were treating the disaster as some sort of silly prank.
That…annoyed me. Actually, it infuriated me. For the first time in this World, I grew truly angry. Powerful magic users are as disciplined as advanced martial artists and have all sorts of restrictions on their behavior, but even they can lose their tempers. When they do, they can level entire buildings. That was why some of the non-magic users still feared unicorns.
I took a step forward and Celestia noticed me.
“Ben!! How wonderful to see you! We were just talking about how the Gala is usually so dull…oh. Oh, dear.”
I didn’t know it at the time, but my eyes had changed color to a solid white while my mane crackled with electricity and formed a white halo around my head. Unlike other powerful magic users, instead of bursting into flame when angry, I apparently pushed heat away from me, so frost had spread out from my hooves to the counter, the windows and around the table where the Mane Six suddenly stopped talking like somepony had thrown a switch.
“Your Highness,” I managed to grate out past the block in my throat, breath steaming in the cold. “The Chancellor was worried and sent me to find you. I take it you are well?”
Princess Celestia actually swallowed hard. Rarity, Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Twilight’s familiar Spike were cowering against the wall and Fluttershy was under the table. Even Twilight looked afraid although she stood her ground; even furious, she knew I’d never hurt her. Applejack looked at me as if she’d never seen me before, her green eyes huge.
“Ah…yes, I’m fine. Just fine. Everything is…fine,” said Princess Celestia, Ruler of Equestria as she looked at me and then at the ground.
“Ben, it was an accident. Honest!” said Twilight. I looked at her and she cringed, ears flat to her skull, terrified at what she saw. That snapped me out of it and my fury left almost as soon as it came. I just felt tired and had that hollow feeling you get when someone you love disappoints you.
I stood at attention and gave my best parade ground salute even though I was covered in dust and grime. “Thank you, your Highness. I shall report to the Chancellor at once. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must tend to the wounded.”
Without waiting for Tia to dismiss me, I teleported with a CRACK of displaced air. Not many unicorns could teleport and it was only the most amateurish who made a loud noise when they did; I did it on purpose, though. I was back in the wrecked ballroom and found an anxious Chancellor waiting with a full squad in case he needed to rescue the Princess.
I raised a hoof. “She’s fine, Chancellor. She’s in that donut shop not too far from here with the Mane Six.”
“Thank Equestria for that!” said the Chancellor. “Does the Princess know what happened?”
I nodded wearily. “Do you remember when your daughter and several of her sorority sisters decided they were going to steal the Victory statue on Fountain Square?”
“What!?! Are you telling me all of this is some sort of…mischief? Some ponies almost died!!”
“I doubt if Herself or the Mane Six planned for it to go this far, but there it is.”
The Chancellor went from worried to grim in a heartbeat. “I see,” he said. He had three fillies of his own and knew they sometimes kicked up their hooves at the worst possible time. “Well, nothing for it. Would you please treat the wounded?”
I nodded and headed off to the makeshift infirmary. I healed the old mare’s head wound I’d noticed before and one of the Guard escorted her home. I also fixed three broken legs including one on this sweet filly who was one of my servers; she’d only started at the palace a few weeks ago. That enraged me all over again but I held it together this time. The rest were cracked ribs, scrapes, bumps and contusions and although it took it out of me, I healed all of them.
Ponies healed, I went back to helping clean up. I’d just pulled a beautiful blacksnake (which sent several of the mares screaming into the next room) out of the curtains and put him back into the Menagerie when Celestia walked in. Many think it’s all one way with the aristocracy, them giving the orders and servants obeying, but servants have their own way of showing anger or displeasure. One way is to work very slowly and another is to behave with absolutely perfect courtesy. A staff that loved their monarch the way the palace ponies loved Celestia showed it in a hundred different ways each day but make them angry or mistreat them and they become just a pair of well-trained hooves and nothing more.
I heard “Tench-hut” from across the room. I spun and braced, then as the ranking officer walked over and saluted. The other staff all bowed as if they were before the throne itself, in perfect unison and in a chilly silence. The only sounds were a pony sweeping up glass on the porch.
“Umm…as you were,” said Celestia. I stood next to the Chancellor as he coolly told the Princess about the wounded and the damage. Tia looked absolutely miserable but neither I nor the Chancellor gave her the slightest concession.
When the Chancellor had finished his report, Celestia said in a subdued voice. “It’s rather late, Chancellor. Perhaps you can start the clean-up tomorrow?”
“Yes, your Highness,” he said, giving a perfect bow and holding it. I saluted at the same time and held that as well. Both meant we were treating one of Tia’s suggestions as a Royal Command.
“Dismissed,” said the downcast Princess.
The Chancellor called out to the butler and underbutlers who dismissed the staff until morning. I waved a hoof at Jenson and the other guards and they vanished out the French doors to return to quarters. I was the last out into a service passage. As I shut the door, I looked back and saw Celestia staring at the floor, her expression bleak. I got back to my room, dumped my uniform down the cleaning chute and showered. I fell into bed but lay awake thinking of how Celestia looked, standing alone in the wrecked ballroom.
She loves you, said the Magic of Equestria.
No excuses, I answered.
You love her, too, said the Magic, but you must not stay.
Too tired to argue, I fell asleep.
The next morning I was up at Sunrise again and went straight to the #1 Ballroom. The Chancellor was there already with two of the underbutlers. Several of the staff had set up tables loaded with leftover food from last night. I ate several parsnips, carrots and mushrooms for my breakfast, then got with the Chancellor. He looked tired, I thought, but also determined.
“I’ve sent for help,” he said.
“How are the wounded?”
“Fine, thanks to you. The Duchess sent you a basket of oranges in thanks for healing her head wound.”
Duchess? Oh, by the Lord of Hel’s pointy ears, wouldn’t you know one of the aristocracy was caught in the fallout, I thought.
I didn’t have a chance to say anything else as almost the entire palace staff started to arrive. The underbutlers organized scrubbing the walls and ceiling while the Chancellor introduced me to two other unicorns he’d called earlier. One was an older mare who could meld and shape stone they way I could metal. I found it fascinating enough I polled her cutie mark (a slab of granite) to learn how to do it. It took far more effort than working with metal but when she’d finished, the broken columns were back together with only the smallest of seams. A pair of guards had to carry her home on a stretcher, though.
The other unicorn was a glazier and quickly replaced all the missing glass. All he needed was some white sand and he made the most beautiful glass I’d ever seen; I polled him as well. He also helped me raise those pillars which was a bit much for one unicorn. He, I and two squads of the guard lifted them back into place and this time anchored them to the floor with steel bolts which I made right there on the spot.
By noon we had the #1 Ballroom back in excellent shape including the repaired alicorn statue, new stone in the floor and a new set of doors to the Menagerie. We all took a break for a communal lunch which the serving ponies had set up in the #1 Parlor. It wasn’t exactly festive but the grim mood of last night was gone.
We were almost finished eating when Princess Celestia walked in flanked by two guards. A maid close to the door saw her first and called out, “Royalty is present. All rise!” We all stood, and the maid called out, “Bow!” We all bowed in perfect unison while the guards stood at attention. I bowed with the others since I was out of uniform and a civilian again.
Tia gave a small sigh which I guessed only one or two of us noticed, and then said, “Please, be seated.” The staff did but didn’t resume eating, just stared in absolute silence; you could hear the gardener’s shears clacking as he trimmed bushes.
“I want each of you to accept my apology for last night’s trouble,” Celestia said as she looked from pony to pony. “Know that it was an accident and the Mane Six and I certainly didn’t intend for anypony to get hurt. I take full responsibility and ask you to forgive me.” Tia made a half bow to the staff, then, a gesture usually reserved for visiting heads of state. That caused a murmur to run up and down the table.
The Chancellor as ranking pony rose. He made a full bow and said, “Your Highness, on behalf of the staff I accept your apology. We only ask to continue serving you and…ah, hopefully no more surprises.”
That caused some scattered laughter. The Princess rose with the Chancellor and said, “Agreed, Chancellor.” She nodded to all of us, her eyes meeting mine for just a few seconds, then turned and left. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding, then made my way to the Chancellor.
“Nicely done,” I said.
“Mmmm, I’d only read about that protocol; I’ve never had to use it before today.”
“Do you need me for anything else?”
“No, if anypony could be said to have done his part, it’s you, Ben.” Chancellor shook my hoof. “I can’t thank you enough.”
I waved him off, and then said good-bye to my serving mares and a few others. The little filly I’d healed insisted on showing up for lunch and blushed after she gave me a kiss on the cheek. Others were more forward which I didn’t mind in the least. I also said good-bye to Jenson and the squad, then headed back to my room to pack. I didn’t have much and thought I could just make the 1:30 train. If I knew the engineer I hoped I could ride in the cab and we could have another quick trip.
I gave the room one last check, and then turned to leave. There in the doorway stood Princess Celestia. She could move very quietly when she wanted and she’d dispensed with the flanking guards. I put down my saddlebags and bowed.
“No need for that, Ben,” she said, coming in and closing the door.
I rose. “Your Highness, the staff and I certainly appreciate your…” and that was as far as I got.
Tia took my chin in her hoof, leaned forward and gave me a long, lingering kiss. She was taller, so she had to tilt my head up. Her lips were as soft as velvet, softer even than Sunny’s, and she had a distinct, bracing taste, like ground acorns, hay and a foggy Fall morning all rolled into one. Oh, it was wonderful and once I got over the surprise I returned it enthusiastically. I felt her tongue touch mine, too, something I’d taught Sunny.
Tia broke off first and, eyes still closed, slowly rubbed her muzzle along mine. “I love you, Benjamin Inventor,” she said, her mouth close to my left ear.
“I love you, Celestia Amalia Christina,” I answered, holding her head lightly with my left hoof and using her two Private Names.
“I know you do,” Tia said as she straightened and blew out a breath. With that, the moment was over but, by the Lord of Hel’s iron shod horn, it was worth it.
I took a deep breath myself. "How is Sunny?” I asked.
The princess lowered her eyes. "She misses you,” Celestia said, looking down at the wooden floor. "She misses you more than she thought it possible to miss anypony."
"Hmm. I know what she misses,” I said, sweeping a hoof over my body. "This is what she misses.”
Tia's head snapped up. She gave a startled giggle and blushed, her white ears and muzzle turning a fiery red. "She does not!"
"She does, I can tell it from here. After all, I'm irresistible. Or haven't you heard, your Highness?"
Still blushing, Tia laughed and punched me in the shoulder which was my intention. I’d realized some time ago that she’d never had the chance to be a filly and no stallion had ever joked or played with her even when she was younger. I was the first and it was a release she needed. We had it when she was Sunny, of course, and as I hoped some of that playfulness lingered.
“Tia,” I said, sobering a little. “Sunny knows what I know; that no matter what happens, she has someone who loves her more than he loves himself. That won’t change.”
“She knows it, too,” said Celestia, a faint sob in her voice. “She does , Ben.”
Eh, I thought, enough of that. “If you’ll forgive me, your Highness, I need to make the freight depot by 1:30.”
“Of course, Ben.”
We walked out into the hall together and shared one last, lingering glance. “I’ll come whenever you need me,” I said.
“Thank you, Servant of the Crown.”
I bowed, then waved a hoof and my Princess waved back. I took the service elevator to the kitchen, and then walked to the depot. Roundhouse was on duty and oiling the same 4-4-0.
“Got room for a deadhead?” I asked.
“You know it, Mr. Wizard,” he said, grinning and showing a few missing teeth. “We leave in 10.”
I had to admit, when I got back that afternoon I was glad to get home. I’d been back in Ponyville a couple of days when the Mane Six as a group stopped by and apologized for ruining the Gala, Celestia sanctioned or no. I forgave them, of course, but for the next few months still occasionally called Fluttershy “Psychoshy”, much to Fluttershy’s consternation.
The Life and Times of Benjamin Inventor (Part 1)
I Decide Again
Etiquette may be defined as the minor morality of life. No observances, however minute, that tend to spare the feelings of others, can be classed under the head of trivialities and politeness (which is but another name for general amiability) will oil the creaking wheels of life more effectually than any of those unguents supplied by mere wealth and station. While the social observances, customs and rules which have grown up are numerous, and some perhaps considered trivial, they are all grounded upon principles of kindness to one another, and spring from the impulses of a good heart and from friendly feelings. The truly polite gentlecolt acts from the highest and noblest ideas of what is right.
Introduction to “On Deportment”, The Equestrian Encyclopedia of General Knowledge
The Magic of Equestria would sometimes talk to me early in the morning as I lay between waking and sleeping.
My life quickly returned to normal after the Gala. Applejack and I still ran most evenings even though she looked at me differently for a week or two before she relaxed. We often talked afterwards and I also worked with her on steeplechase. Applejack was a little too short to become a true champion, but I had her jump later rather than a few strides before the style. That increased her time a bit but she managed to clear the bar more often than not.
One evening after an intense workout Applejack invited me to have supper with her and her family. I’d met Granny Smith and was pleased to meet Applejack’s brother Big Mac and her cute little sister Apple Bloom. I soon became friends with both and spent many an hour with Big Mac talking about philosophy, the nature of life and death and of course mares. Later in the Summer when Applejack and Big Mac were both working, Applejack asked me to take Apple Bloom to the kite flying contest which was a few days off. I had Apple Bloom come to the workshop and we made an elaborate dragon kite, and then practiced flying it. We ended up winning first place for “Most Unique Design” and Apple Bloom proudly showed off the trophy to the family as we ate supper that evening.
As Summer turned to Fall, I found myself moving closer to Applejack and to her family. I missed her when she was on her adventures with the Mane Six and was always glad to see her when she stopped by the workshop after she got back. I was also pleased Applejack had matured because of her friendship with the other Mane Six and had started to take better care of her appearance; most likely that was Rarity’s and Fluttershy’s influence.
As a surprise for Applejack’s birthday, I spent a good bit of time and resources to build a small magic fired steam tractor for her farm. I also hoped to market it and if Applejack and her family used it, I knew it would spread to other farms. I’d finished my steam car prototype and it worked well enough I built a larger steam truck to haul some of my heavier inventions.
I loaded the steam tractor onto a trailer, and then hitched the trailer to the steam truck. Early on the big day I drove out to Sweet Apple Acres with the steam tractor under a tarp. I pulled up in front of the barn and Granny Smith met me. She called to the others who were already hard at work and Big Mac, Applejack and Apple Bloom all came racing in from the fields.
As soon as they had all gathered around the trailer I removed the tarp with a flourish and a tah-dah sound of trumpets I’d magically set earlier. Big Mac and Granny gasped with delight while Apple Bloom bounced up and down.
“It’s a new tractor! It’s a new tractor,” she yelled.
“Not just new, Apple Bloom,” I said, proudly, “but a steam powered one. I estimate it will cut your plowing time by at least half. So ‘Happy Birthday’, Applejack!”
The only one who said nothing was Applejack who looked skeptical to say the least.
“You’re expectin’ me to plow with this here contraption,” Applejack said, poking the tractor’s front wheel with a hoof which made a slight ringing sound.
“Well, yes, Applejack,” I answered, a little hurt at her lack of reaction. “Plow, disc, cultivate; you name it. I’ve made you a plow but I could build you the other implements easily enough.”
Applejack got that stubborn look I’d seen a few times. “No, sir! Noooo, sir! I ain’t replacin’ the stallions and tractors we’ve used for years and years with no newfangled device!”
“But, Applejack…” said Granny Smith.
“Nope, no way, no how!” said Applejack irascibly. Big Mac looked distressed but only looked at the ground.
“Sis, can we at least try…” said Apple Bloom, rather weakly since she knew her sister’s moods all too well.
“No, Apple Bloom! I run this here farm and I say ‘NO’!!”
“I see,” I said flatly. Saying nothing else, in one move with magic helping I flipped the tarp back over the traction engine, cinched the ties and climbed into the steam truck
Applejack suddenly realized I was genuinely angry and walked over to the truck cab.
“Uh…we still a’runnin’ tonight like always?”
“Not tonight, Applejack,” I said frostily and drove off. I looked back in the rearview mirror (another invention of mine which made me quite a tidy sum) and could see Applejack still standing where I’d left her, slightly downcast. I was too angry to care, though, and just kept driving.
I got back to the shop and backed the steam tractor into the storage shed, tarp and all. I went back to work on some other projects but put up the “Closed” sign on the shop door to have some time to myself. Slowly my anger dissipated as I worked. I quit early, had a bite to eat and sat outside to watch the Sun set and put myself in Applejack’s place. I, the successful inventor, showed up with a device which made what she and her family had used for centuries look primitive and obsolete. Most likely Applejack thought I was criticizing her way of life instead of trying to improve it. I’d noticed the same sort of resistance in some of my older customers when I built the steam car.
I was mulling all this over when I heard a tentative “Hello?” from the front of the shop.
“Out here, Applejack,” I answered, for that’s who it was.
A contrite Applejack came around the corner of the shop and stopped. I turned to face her and was ready to apologize when she took off that ridiculous hat of hers, held it in front of her and started to talk first.
“Umm...I…well, I...just wanted to tell you how sorry I was about the way I behaved earlier. I knowed you was only tryin’ to give me a birthday present and to help the farm and all, so…I’m sorry and hope you’ll forgive me. I’ll…understand if’n you don’t want to run in the evenin’ with me any more…and…I’ll miss that, I truly will.” Tears started to leak out of her gorgeous green eyes and she sniffed.
Oh, swell, I thought. I started to answer when the Magic said, She loves you and wants to be with you. A part of me was waiting for that, I realized, and I answered, I love her, too. Not like Sunny, but enough, and it’s time to move on. The Magic sent Satisfaction. You’re still a nag, I thought and the Magic sent a mild Annoyance which was Her way of sticking out Her tongue.
I pulled myself together. “No, Applejack, it was my fault. I shouldn’t have assumed you’d want to use my brilliant invention right away to make your drab life more interesting.”
As I expected, that brought forth a watery smile. Applejack put her hat back on and said, “Whew! I’m glad to hear it. Granny gave me what for a solid hour after ya left.”
I took another step and was almost nose-to-nose with Applejack. She didn’t back away, so I said, “There’s nothing you could do I couldn’t forgive, Applejack. I love you and want to get to know you even better.”
I leaned forward and kissed Applejack deeply. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, grabbing her hat with the left front hoof to keep it from slipping off as she kissed me back. I could taste salt from her earlier tears and a strong flavor of cinnamon apples which was quite pleasant. Applejack’s right rear hoof popped a little as well. I only broke off the kiss to catch my breath, and then did it again. This time Applejack threw both hooves around my neck and really kissed me back. Hah, I thought, looks like this stallion has still got it.
Applejack’s family along with most of the farming families around Ponyville were quite old-fashioned, but I’d learned the customs well. “Tomorrow,” I said with Applejack’s hooves still around my neck, “I’m going to ask Granny for permission to court you.” Applejack lit up like a lightning bug. “So,” I continued, “how about that run?”
The Courtship
According to custom, a gentlecolt generally ascertains the state of a mare's feelings towards himself before he makes a positive declaration of his love. His proposal having been conditionally received, the mare usually refers him to her mother and nearest relatives for sanction of the union. If all preliminary statements are satisfactory, the young couple are considered engaged without any further formality.
“On Courtship and Marriage in Farming Families”, The Equestrian Encyclopedia of General Knowledge
Many outside of rural Equestria may find the courtship rituals onerous or slightly absurd. If you understand farmers, though, the various customs which combined to make up the Courtship Ritual make a great deal of sense. Mares owned and usually ran the farms just like mares ran most businesses and of course the Equestrian government. If a stallion wanted to marry into a farming family, the entire family, not just the matriarch, must agree the stallion had something to offer. So, the stallion had to ask permission to begin the courtship which then led to marriage. Some farming families even had arranged marriages although that custom was fast disappearing when I arrived in Ponyville. Mares could ask a stallion to marry, of course, but that sometimes left doubt if the stallion really wanted to join the family or not.
If a unicorn like me wanted to marry into an Earth pony farming family, family scrutiny became very intense. The Apple family also had a tradition that the mares never asked stallions to marry. That was how the prosperous Apple family ended up with such strong bonds…and no unicorns. At all. On either side. I’d be the first in a 150 years or so according to Applejack and family lore.
So, it was with some trepidation I trotted to Sweet Apple Acres the next evening. A jittery Applejack let me in and I stole a quick smooch before going into the main parlor. There was Granny Smith in her favorite rocker. Apple Bloom was in the kitchen starting supper while Big Mac was at the kitchen table.
“Howdy, Youngster,” said Granny and then went back to reading the paper.
“And a good evening to you, Granny,” I said. Applejack just stood off to the side, saying nothing. I looked sideways at her and she gave me a nervous smile.
“Granny Smith,” I said, “would you be so good as to call the rest of the family in here?”
Granny’s ears perked up as she put down the paper and stopped rocking. “Why, sure, Son. Apple Bloom! Big Mac! Come in here a moment, would you?”
When all were gathered in the parlor, I cleared my throat and then executed my best court full bow. I heard a small “wow!” from Apple Bloom which encouraged me.
Holding the bow, I gave a speech I’d memorized from The Equestrian Encyclopedia of General Knowledge , an old one-volume encyclopedia I’d found in Twilight’s library: “Granny Smith and the Apple family. I come as a suitor to you and yours to ask for your most precious possession, a daughter of this house. I, Benjamin Inventor, Servant of the Crown, ask permission to court Applejack Apple. I do swear I will treat her honorably and have only the purest intent.” I liked that last part and the Magic of Equestria Agreed when I thought that.
There was a breathless silence, then Granny, Apple Bloom and Big Mac tackled me all at once; I didn’t even have a chance to rise from the bow.
“Finally!” said Granny.
“Hooray!” yelled Apple Bloom in my ear as she pounded my chest with both front hooves. Big Mac wrapped all of us in his front legs and picked us up as tears ran down his face. A sensitive soul, that one.
I was laughing myself as Applejack grabbed me from behind. “I take it this is a ‘yes’, then?” I said as I caught my breath which the Earth ponies had mashed out of me. I could feel Applejack’s tears as she buried her head in the back of my neck. I reached back a hoof, squeezed her hindquarters and had the reward of a slight wiggle and her relieved laugh.
Granny was the first out of the tangle. She blew her nose on a lace handkerchief and said as the rest of us stood, “That there was the most beautiful Courtship Speech I’ve ever heard in all my born days. Why, it was even better than your Granddaddy’s,” she said, looking at the three siblings. “But here, now,” Granny continued. “We got to celebrate!”
And so we did, feasting on the best the farm had to offer including some 60 year old Apple Brandy Granny had saved for just such an occasion. Applejack was radiant but didn’t say much, just held my hoof under the table and gave it a squeeze every now and then. This is marvelous, I thought, just marvelous. An instant family for me who before had none.
Told you, said the Magic.
So You did, I thought back.
When the feast was over, Applejack said she’d walk me back to the workshop. I waved good-bye to the family, then bumped shoulders with Applejack as we strolled through a crisp Fall evening, Luna providing us with an almost full moon.
When we got to the workshop, Applejack and I gazed into one another’s eyes like hopeless romantics, then shared a long, sensual kiss. For somepony with almost no experience, Applejack was a stellar kisser.
We broke off and still muzzle to muzzle, Applejack said, “I love you, Ben.” She pulled back a bit. “I’ve loved you since ya showed up that day to fix our plow.” She looked at the ground. “I know you’ve been in Canterlot and all and most likely been with other mares, so…”
I lifted her chin and gently held a hoof to her lips. “You’re the one I asked to Court, now, aren’t you, my beautiful mare? And I love you as well.”
We kissed again.
“Mmmm,” said Applejack as she pulled away for the last time and rubbed my nose with hers. “Twilight was right; you really do kiss like a house a’fire.”
Eep! “Um…mentioned her kissing lesson, did she?”
Applejack laughed, that wonderful, low laugh of hers she used when she was truly happy. “Yep, at the sleepover. Just to me, though, since she could tell I was interested in you.”
“Ahem. Yes, well…I’ll see you tomorrow, then?”
“You won’t mind workin’ the farm, will you?”
I’d read part of the Courtship was sharing daily tasks which of course included farmwork so I knew that was coming. “Not at all. I’ve done far worse in my time here. And I helped with the harvest last year, remember? I only hope I can keep up with you and the others.”
“You’ll do fine,” said my new fiancée as she headed back home. “See ya!”
I waved good-bye, then sighed a contented sigh as I went upstairs to get ready for bed. I did it, I actually did it, I thought while I brushed my teeth. The Magic was right but I’ll never admit that to Her else She’ll become insufferable.
I can heeeeaaaar yooouuu, said the Magic, and sent Smug Satisfaction.
I Prove My Worth
The anxieties of business transactions being happily at an end, engaged couples are subject in good society to certain restraints which are almost if not equally irksome. The engaged do not usually bear in mind that the whole period of their engagement is a period of probation. They are mutually under trial. The opportunities of sharing each other's company previously may have been few; in all that constitutes their habits of thought and living they may be totally ignorant; and it by no means follows that, because an engagement has been entered into, marriage is certain to crown the intimacy.
“On Courtship and Marriage in Farming Families”, The Equestrian Encyclopedia of General Knowledge
The next morning at Sunrise I leapt out of bed with a light heart and headed straight for Sweet Apple Acres. The Apple family was just sitting down to breakfast when I walked in.
“Mornin’, fiancée,” Applejack said, greeting me with a kiss. She also pronounced fiancée like “fee-ahn-see” even though she spoke French (along with four other languages) perfectly well.
“Mornin’, fiancée,” I said, copying her tone, diction and pronunciation exactly and enthusiastically returning the kiss. “What’s to eat?”
The rest of the family gave me an effusive welcome as I sat down and once again I was amazed at Earth pony appetites. Breakfast over, we gathered in the parlor and Granny gave out the day’s chores. We agreed I’d work alternating days with Applejack, Big Mac and Apple Bloom in turn for the next month. Granny understood I had my own business to run, so that gave me three days a week to fill orders with Applejack’s help and a day off each week before harvest; there were no days off during harvest which took all of Tenth and ended the 1st of Eleventh. I’d close the shop then and work on the farm full-time until harvest was over.
The Courtship Rules from The Equestrian Encyclopedia of General Knowledge recommended the engaged couple spend as much time together as possible but avoid any “undue familiarity” until after the wedding. Applejack (which I soon shortened to “AJ”) and I were naturally attracted to one another and avoided any temptation with the time-honored tradition of hard work. There was no room for canoodling during a 12-hour workday on a farm and no inclination at day’s end, I tell you what.
The new schedule worked well since my farming customers understood I couldn’t move on their orders as quickly as before. Even in town, I lost almost no business after AJ started keeping my work schedule; I’d never done a very good job with it and she managed to fit almost twice as much work in a day than I ever could. AJ also proved exceptionally proficient at fixing most machinery and the mares both in town and in the country enjoyed congratulating her when we showed up to work. Occasionally a mare would pull Applejack aside and after some whispering and giggling, a blushing AJ would return to whatever we were doing. I would raise my eyebrows but she would just shake her head.
We both had obligations to the Crown and had to adjust our schedules once each when AJ went off with the rest of the Mane Six and when Tia called me to Canterlot. A Courtship was important enough even the Crown acknowledged it, so schedule conflicts didn’t happen often.
At the end of Ninth, we had a family meeting with Granny presiding.
“Applejack, do you have this month’s accounts ready?” asked Granny after putting on her reading glasses.
“Sure do,” said Applejack, handing over a neat list.
Granny could add and subtract as quickly as Chancellor and soon looked up. “Why, it looks as if Ben’s business pulled in almost twice as much as th’ farm. Let me add it up agin.”
After she did, Granny took off her glasses and looked at all of us. “Nope, no mistake. 976 bits versus 480 bits after expenses. Well, I’ll be jiggered. How did you manage it, Ben?”
I pointed a hoof to Applejack. “AJ keeping the books is how, Granny. I just threw bits into an old bucket next to the workbench and if it had something in it at the end of the month, I deposited in the bank.” Applejack shuddered visibly as I said that. “I really had no idea what I was making. The smithwork combined with the revenue from patents and the occasional custom job apparently pay pretty well.”
Granny laughed at that. “So they do, so they do.”
“And there’s the Service to the Crown salary, too. What’re the bank balances now, AJ?” I asked since I had absolutely no idea.
“17,345 bits in the workshop account an’ 8,401 bits in your personal account,” said Applejack. Granny gasped and Big Mac gave a low whistle. Apple Bloom just looked pleased; I knew she wanted one of Rarity’s dresses for the upcoming dance and I’d promised her a Courting Gift even though it was supposed to be the other way around.
“Hmm, not bad.” I cleared my throat. “There’s something else, Apples.”
Granny’s ears which had relaxed while she was laughing shot up again. Big Mac and Apple Bloom who had said nothing so far sat up as well.
“Oh, no! You have a filly in Canterlot, don’t you? Oh, I knew a handsome unicorn stallion like you was too good t’ be true,” said Granny Smith, wringing her hooves and looking distressed.
“What!?! No, Granny, nothing like that!” The other Apples including Applejack all snickered at my discomfort.
Well, nothing for it. “Granny, would you stand, please?”
A puzzled Granny stood while I walked around to her left side. I lowered my horn and healed her arthritic hip, then cleared her intestines of a minor infection. Both I was sure had caused her no small discomfort but she’d never uttered a word of complaint. I could Sense both, though, the way I could all ailments when I concentrated.
“There you are,” I said after I drew back. Granny was too astonished to speak but kept moving her left rear leg back and forth. I walked over to Big Mac and fixed his sore shoulder, then crossed the room to stand with Applejack. AJ knew about my healing and was thrilled with it; I only hoped the rest of the family would feel the same.
“I…I don’t believe it!” exclaimed Granny. “You’re a healer! Why, we ain’t had a healer here since my great-granddaddy’s time.” Big Mac nodded vigorously, rotating his right front leg. His muscles were the size of bowling balls so it was quite impressive when he flexed.
“Yes, Granny,” I said. “It was the one ability I had when I arrived here. I discovered it accidentally one day on the dojo floor. Word got out and it caused no end of friction with the doctors.” I told the Apples about what Chancellor and I eventually called “The Sawbones Riot”. Doctors had very little standing even in the larger cities, but what they had they wanted to keep. Around Ponyville, ponies often went their entire lives without seeing a doctor. The two doctors who were in town mainly set broken bones or pulled teeth.
“I do declare,” said Granny, still amazed she wasn’t in pain.
“I plan to change the role of doctors in pony society, but I need time to do it. I’d appreciate it if you kept my healing in the family for now.”
Applejack had held my hoof tightly while I was explaining and gave it a squeeze when Granny, Big Mac and Apple Bloom all agreed to keep my healing a secret.
“Good, thank you all,” I said, relieved.
“Got anything else we need t’ know about you, Youngster? Any other particular…talents?” said Granny mischievously while she made her eyes very wide.
“Oh, perhaps. I daresay Applejack will fill you in eventually, Granny Smith,” I said, looking innocent and playing along.
Applejack smacked me on the shoulder a couple of times as she blushed. Granny Smith, Big Mac and even Apple Bloom all howled with laughter at Applejack’s embarrassment and I couldn’t resist joining in. It was wonderful to have a family again, I thought.
Told you, said the Magic.
The Life and Times of Benjamin Inventor (Part 1)
Harvest and After Harvest
Harvest
A mare should never lower the intellectual standard of her conversation in addressing stallions. Pay them the compliment of seeming to consider them capable of an equal understanding with mares. You will, no doubt, be somewhat surprised to find in how many cases the supposition will be grounded on fact, and in the few instances where it is not, the stallions will be pleased rather than offended at the compliment you pay them.
“The Art of Conversation”, The Equestrian Encyclopedia of General Knowledge
On the 1st of Tenth, harvest began. It was a very brisk day as I walked out with Applejack to the orchards to learn how to applebuck, that particular talent which the Apples could do better than any other ponies. Applejack herself could buck a tree and get three, sometimes four bushes of apples at once while Apple Bloom managed two and Big Mac five. Applejack was a patient teacher and I soon managed two bushels at a time which turned out to be my limit.
I’d learned Sweet Apple Acres had 250 acres under plow, 200 as orchard and another 300 either hay, fallow or woodland. Vegetables included beans, beets, broccoli, cabbage, carrots, cauliflower, corn (their largest crop after apples), cucumber, kale, lettuce, peas and spinach. Fruits other than apples were pears, apricots, peaches, plums, raspberries, blackberries, figs, paw paws, cherries, walnuts, kiwis and blueberries. 100 acres of the 300 were hay including alfalfa, timothy, orchard grass and fescue. I’d fitted a sickle mower and hay rake to the steam tractor which I hoped would save an enormous amount of work; usually the Apples had to hire at least five stallions to scythe the hay and then stack it.
When I showed Applejack the little tractor could cut and then rake hay, that finally convinced her the tractor might be worth keeping. I showed her how to run it and fill the boiler, then couldn’t get her off of it the rest 2nd, 3rd and well into 4th.
I flagged her down for lunch on 4th and she didn’t hide her enthusiasm as she steamed up next to me.
“Whooo-eeee! Now that’s what I call workin’. LuluBelle and I have finished mowing all the hay we have and we can start raking today! That puts us almost a week ahead of schedule.”
“That’s excell…wait, who is ‘LuluBelle’?” I asked as we headed toward Granny who was waiting with a field lunch.
“Why, the tractor, of course,” said Applejack as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
“You named the steam tractor ‘LuluBelle’?”
“Why, sure. She’s a trooper, that one.”
“AJ, it’s a machine. You don’t name machines.”
“You do, too! And don’t talk so loud or you’ll hurt her feelings.” With that, Applejack stuck her nose in the air and flounced toward lunch, imitating Rarity exactly. I couldn’t help but start laughing. My best filly had a wonderful sense of humor but I often thought I was the only one who got to see it.
Granny handled the harvesting schedule, hiring the extra hooves and arranging the pick-ups. It was up to the farmers to get their produce to the depot already crated, so the Apples used a very trustworthy middlepony business to handle the sorting, weighing, packaging and crating of what they didn’t keep for themselves.
I went where Granny told me and was often by myself picking beans, bucking pears, picking blackberries or stacking hay. Granny saw to it we all got lunch and we worked Sunup to Sundown and sometimes a bit after since Princess Luna obligingly gave us a full moon during the second week. I barely saw Applejack and when I did at day’s end we were both so tired all we could do was clean up, share a nose rub and then collapse. The canvas cot Granny set out for me in the parlor felt like the most luxurious of beds.
By the third week we could see we were making progress. AJ also used LuluBelle (ridiculous name) to haul produce and since the tractor could haul twice as much as four stallions, that saved time, too. AJ taught Apple Bloom to drive as well which freed AJ to harvest and to organize the hay stacking. The stacking was always the last harvest chore and was one of the least pleasant, so the Apples left it to the last week. That let the hay finish drying as well since the weather pegasi obligingly held off the rain for most of Tenth.
AJ and I had just finished loading a wagon full of alfalfa when a mailpony swooped down and landed right next to us. She had a white blonde mane, was an attractive shade of grey and looked very professional in her trim uniform. I couldn’t make out a cutie mark but the poor thing had a bad case of esotropia.
“Mr. Inventor?”
“That’s right.”
“Special delivery for you, sir.” The mailpony handed over a sealed envelope. “Sign here, please.”
I signed, and then looked the pegasus mare over again. I was certain I could strengthen both sets of eye muscles and uncross her eyes. I didn’t want to stare, though, so I reached in my pouch and handed her a 2 bit coin.
“Thank you…ah, I’m sorry, I don’t know your name.”
“Ditzy Doo, Mr. Inventor, but most ponies call me ‘Derpy’. And we’re not supposed to accept tips, sir.”
“Bah!” I said, waving off her handing me back the coin.
Derpy gave me the sweetest smile, then softly said, “Thank you, Mr. Inventor.” Applejack had come from around the wagon and Derpy said, “Hey, Applejack. Well, I have other deliveries.” Off she went. I watched her fly away, certain I could help her if I could just figure out whether to adjust the lateral rectus or the inferior rectus…
“Well, what does it say?” asked an impatient Applejack, interrupting my thoughts.
“What? Oh, yes, the letter. Here you are.” I said as I handed it to her. I had to admit I was amused at how we already sounded like an old married couple. Granny had noticed it as well and it tickled her no end.
Applejack broke the seal and quickly read the letter. “It’s from Ma Brickle. The baler’s broken again,” she said, looking up with a worried expression. Brickleback Farm was what the Apples called a “two-fer” which meant it grew just two crops per year, one of which was always alfalfa. The farm was also the only one in the region with an automatic-tie pick-up baler, a beautiful piece of craftsmanship from the New Shire Machine Co. outside of Hoofington. It was also 50 years old and suffering from metal fatigue. The maker had been out of business for almost 20 years so there was no chance of getting another or any spare parts.
“I’ll bet it’s the compressor bar. It was pretty far gone the last time I fixed one of the screws. I talked to Mrs. Brickle about replacing it with a stationary baler but she said she liked that one.”
“The Brickles don’t have much, Hon,” said Applejack, looking down at the letter again. “It’s just Ma with the four fillies. Jedidiah Brickle died in the Griffon War with Dad.”
I felt a small thrill when AJ called me “Hon” without thinking about it, then realized she’d just mentioned her father which she’d never done before. Time for that later, I thought. “Without the baler, then…” I started.
“…they won’t make expenses and might lose the farm,” finished Applejack. “If they have to stack the way we do, they won’t be able to ship hay to Manehatten. You can’t ship stacked hay.”
“Huh, I never thought about it. I’d best go, then. I’ll need to pick up some iron bar stock and my tools. Can you finish here?”
“Yeah, it’s just these last two acres and we’re done with stackin’.” Applejack gave a tired smile and I could tell she was thinking of the Brickles. “I sure am glad we have ya, Ben. We’ve never had a smoother harvest.”
“Delighted to be here, AJ,” I said, making a show of giving a half bow. I stood and started to teleport, and then it hit me all at once like tumblers clicking into place: a way to help the Brickles, give a Courting Gift to Applejack, benefit the farm and make a profit all at once. It was so simple I was amazed I hadn’t thought of it before. I checked to see if the Magic gave me the idea but She was nowhere to be found.
“Hah, I know that look,” said AJ with a grin. “You’ve thought of something, haven’t you?”
“Perhaps, Beautiful, perhaps,” I answered, distracted enough with my calculations I didn’t notice AJ perked up when I called her “Beautiful”. I shook myself. “I’m off!” I turned to Applejack, both of us covered in sweat, grime and hay, and kissed her as fervently as I could. Surprised, she kissed me back. I waved a hoof, then teleported to the workshop. I raced inside, picked up my tools and some bar stock, then teleported to Brickleback Farm.
I landed on the edge of the alfalfa field where I’d worked on the baler before. Not too far away were Ma Brickle and the four fillies. The youngest who I hadn’t met was the only pony who saw me appear with a slight pop of displaced air. She squealed, dropped the apple she was eating and ran to hide behind her sisters. Spring and Summer, the oldest and next oldest, I’d met when they brought turnips to the depot for the Gala. I knew Mrs. Brickle, a large, sturdy mare in her mid-40s, from the Stable of Commerce, from setting up the original turnip purchase and from some smithwork I’d done including fixing the baler the first time. A good customer.
Ma Brickle spun around when her youngest ran past her. “Why, Mr. Inventor,” she exclaimed. “We weren’t expecting you ‘til later this afternoon.”
“Good day to you, Mrs. Brickle. I’m sorry for the delay but I just got your letter a few minutes ago. I thought it best to hurry this close to the end of harvest.”
“Thank you, Mr. Inventor, thank you so much,” she answered, very relieved. She looked tired and worn with worry lines in her forehead. “I know it costs you t’ pop in and out like that.”
“Not at all, ma’am.”
“Where’s my manners?” Mrs. Brickle said, looking over at the fillies and then back to me. “We’re havin’ an early lunch since the baler broke down. Would you care to join us?”
“Indeed I shall, Mrs. Brickle, as soon as I have a look at your baler. Let me greet the fillies, then I’ll see what I can do.”
I walked over to the young Earth mares who were all seated with legs tucked under. Three rose to greet me but the youngest stayed hidden behind Summer; all I could see was an ear and one wide eye peeking out behind Summer’s left flank.
I gave a half bow. “Miss Brickle primus , Miss Brickle secundus ,” I said. “I hope you are well.”
Both were still in harness from pulling the baler and of course covered in good, honest dirt and sweat. Both said “Howdy, Mr. Inventor,” at the same time and started giggling. Spring was two years younger than AJ and Summer was 17; I remembered since Granny put together a birthday package of various teenage filly odds and ends for her just before harvest.
I turned to the next youngest sister, an absolutely adorable dark umber filly with large, clear amber eyes and a shock of tan mane who I guessed was around 12 or 13. “And here’s a Brickle I don’t know. You must be Fall.”
“Howdy, Mr. Wizard! Gosh, that was something, you just poppin’ into our field like that. You’re a real wizard, huh? And you’re a’Courtin’ Miss Apple, like Spring says? Spring says Miss Apple is the luckiest mare in the whole county!”
“FALL! ” shrieked Spring, then hid her blushing face in both hooves. Summer giggled even harder.
“And this here’s Winter,” Fall said, dragging the smallest filly who was about Apple Bloom’s age out from behind Summer. “She don’t talk much.”
“Fall, that’s quite enough,” said Mrs. Brickle as she walked over. “Remember what we talked about? And young mares, behave yourselves.”
Fall suddenly looked very contrite. “Yes’m,” she mumbled, staring at her hooves. Summer cleared her throat and stopped giggling while poor Spring lowered her hooves, still red-faced.
I made another half-bow. “A pleasure to meet you, Miss Brickle tertius ,” I said to Fall.
“Ohhh,” said Fall, who looked up again, unabashed. “Fancy talk!”
I tucked my hooves under me so I was nose-to-nose with Winter who hadn’t said a word and had her left hoof in her mouth. “Hello, Winter. I’m sorry I scared you when I showed up a few minutes ago.”
“S’right,” said Winter, hoof still in her mouth.
“Oh, Winter!” said an exasperated Ma Brickle. “Take your hoof out of your mouth and greet Mr. Inventor properly.”
Winter’s hoof shot behind her back but she still didn’t say anything, just stared.
I rose to my hooves. “Now, to the baler. Young mares, Mrs. Brickle, I’m going to use magic since we need to move along.”
Mrs. Brickle nodded and the mares all moved closer, fascinated. I unbolted the cover and removed the conveyor chain, then pulled loose the knife and flywheel. Sure enough, it was the compressor bar which was snapped completely in half. I did a quick scan to see if there was anything else. The frame was losing structural integrity along with most of other iron parts. The steel wheels supporting the frame were still fine but that wouldn’t do a bit of good if the baler fell apart. The feeder wheels were exposed, too; stick in a hoof too far and that was the end of your leg. It was the only flaw I saw in an exceptionally good design. The knotters which wrapped the twine looked in fair shape, so I left those alone.
I lay out the compressor bar, then pulled out my bar stock. I shaped the iron into an exact match, checked the integrity by banging it against one of the wheels and then put it in place. I could have used steel but the iron frame wouldn’t have supported it for long. The knife was good steel but also very brittle. I put an edge on it that would slice silk, put it and the flywheel back, then gave the unit a quick turn. The compressor bar worked well, so I put chain back, oiled the moving parts and replaced the cover after cleaning some rust from the bolts and cotter pins. The whole repair took around five minutes.
I turned around to find five pairs of very wide eyes watching me.
“I’ve never seen the like,” said Mrs. Brickle in a quiet voice.
“Is this what you do, Mr. Inventor?” asked Spring, still staring at the baler.
“Usually not in public, Spring, but yes, this is what I do.”
“Why not in public, Mr. Wizard?” asked Fall.
“Fall,” warned Mrs. Brickle.
I raised a hoof and nodded. “An excellent question, Fall. Many ponies have never seen advanced magic or spent any time around unicorns. They fear magic since they don’t understand it. And, truly, just like fire, magic can be quite dangerous. Also like fire, it makes an excellent servant but a poor master. However,” I said, leaning over slightly, “I hope I can count on you and your sisters to tell others they shouldn’t be afraid of magic in the right hooves.”
“I sure will!” said Fall, bouncing up and down. Spring and Summer nodded.
“Excellent, young mares. Thank you.”
I straightened. “Apologies, Mrs. Brickle, I didn’t intend on giving a lecture.”
Mrs. Brickle shook herself. “Not at all, Mr. Inventor. All right, fillies,” she said, turning to the waiting mares. “Back to it. I need to talk to Mr. Inventor, then I’ll join you.” The fillies raced off, all waving good-bye, even Winter. Spring and Summer hitched themselves to the baler and started off. Fall fed the hay into the front chute while Winter handed hay to Fall. They made surprisingly fast progress and were soon far down a row leaving behind neat bales.
“We’ll finish on time now,” said Mrs. Brickle and a few of her worry lines disappeared. “Please, Mr. Inventor, have some lunch,” she continued, pointing a hoof to the field lunch spread out a few yards away.
“Thank you, Mrs. Brickle, I will. Using magic makes you very hungry.” I sat down and tucked in to some delicious cucumbers, apples (I recognized the Sweet Apple Acres’ Pink Mare, one of our best sellers) and mushrooms, one of my favorites. I chased it with cool spring water and soon was full.
“Ah, splendid, Mrs. Brickle, and most welcome.”
“Oh, call me ‘Ma’. Everypony else does,” said Ma Brickle, looking down at the canvas spread on the ground.
“Only if you will call me ‘Benjamin’ in return, or ‘Ben’ if ‘Benjamin’ is too long,” I said. Ma nodded, pleased. “Your daughters are wonderful, Ma. Beautiful, lively and intelligent young mares, every one. You’ve done a fine job with all of them.”
“Thank you, Ben,” she said and shook her head. “That Fall, though…” and didn’t finish the thought.
“Heh, yes. Vivacious to say the least. Still, it would trouble you if she were any way other than she is, I don’t doubt.”
Ma Brickle smiled in agreement, then grew solemn. She reached into her pouch and handed me a small coin purse. “This is what we have, Ben. If you need more, I hope you can wait ‘til after harvest. I…I knew your rates before I sent that letter but we had to have the baler and, well…”
I opened the purse and out spilled two 50 bit coins into my hoof. The average yearly salary in Ponyville would run about 400 bits a year, perhaps a little more. Most likely Derpy the mailpony made 450 bits while farms like Brickleback were lucky to clear 500 a year after expenses, particularly if they didn’t own their land. 100 bits was 20% of the Brickles’ yearly income. If I accepted it, the Brickles would have a very lean Winter indeed. Not to mention a special delivery letter cost at least 10 bits.
I looked at it moment, then put the coins back in the purse. “I have a better idea, Ma,” I said as I handed the purse back to her. I took a deep breath and let it out. “Marguerite Brickle,” I said formally, using her real name which caused her ears to perk, “I would make a pact with you and yours…”
I Prove My Worth Again
Study with care, politeness that must teach
“The Art of Conversation”, The Equestrian Encyclopedia of General Knowledge
It was early afternoon when I teleported to the front of the workshop, completely exhausted but very satisfied with my day. I put up my tools and checked myself in the front hall mirror. I was quite the mess, so I took a quick shower and then walked back to Sweet Apple Acres. I found the Apples in the parlor fresh out of their showers. They were all as worn as I but also exhilarated.
“We did it, we did it!” said Apple Bloom after my new family greeted me. “We finished th’ harvest!” This was Apple Bloom’s third harvest and she’d certainly done her part.
“Yep,” said Granny. “You done good, family. And you in particular, Ben. You worked like a true Apple, you did.” Granny paused a moment. “Did you fix Ma’s baler?” she asked, anxiously.
“I did, Granny.”
The Apples cheered but were too tired for more than a token “hoorah”.
“I have something else I’d like to bring to the family,” I said, slightly nervous since this was my first venture on my own for the Apples.
“Eh, we’ll cover any new business and go over the accounts day after tomorr - eeee,ahhh,” said Granny, stifling a huge yawn. That led to a round of yawns from each of us. “For now, get some rest. Food’s in th’ kitchen for anypony what wants it. Me, I’m for bed.”
We all agreed. Applejack said she’d walk me back to the workshop, and I accepted a hug and kiss from Apple Bloom as she headed upstairs. As AJ and I were leaving, Big Mac clapped me on the back and shook my hoof.
“You survived,” he said.
“I did, at that,” I answered, returning the shake vigorously. “Say, do you know Spring Brickle?”
Big Mac stopped in mid-shake. “Why, sure. She’s close to Sister’s age.”
“Sturdy, isn’t she? Could lift me over her head with one hoof, she could. And not bad looking.”
Big Mac looked at me sideways through narrowed eyes, gave my hoof one last shake and then headed for his room.
“Matchmaking?” asked AJ as we headed out the door.
“Just a reminder good mares exist right here in Ponyville,” I said. “I do wonder at times if Big Mac takes them for granted.”
Applejack chuckled as we headed back to the workshop. We’d both already eaten and were too tired for much else. I stretched out in my favorite spot overlooking the gorge behind the workshop and Applejack fell against my right side, leaning against me and propping her head on my shoulder.
I turned my head and gently nibbled her left ear, content just to have her next to me. She made this sort of purring hum which I’d heard her make before when she was relaxed and happy.
AJ yawned again, then said, “What did you want to tell the family?”
“I’ll talk it over with you before I tell the others, if you like.”
“Nah, nah, don’t bother; you haven’t put a hoof wrong yet,” AJ said through a yawn. I felt her shift so she could snuggle closer. “You know…if you want me to stay with ya tonight, I will.”
Whup! Not sure where that came from, I thought. Most likely it was the tiredness talking. In answer, I quoted from The Equestrian Encyclopedia of General Knowledge : “’A gentlecolt does not refuse a mare, but it is recommended the engaged couple avoid any undue familiarity until after the wedding.’” “Besides,” I went on, “as tempting as that is, it would disappoint the family, particularly Big Mac who is even more dedicated to the Courtship Rules than we are.”
Applejack didn’t answer.
“AJ? You’re not sore about it, are you?”
My answer was a light snore; Applejack was fast asleep. I chuckled to myself since I doubted when she woke up she’d even remember us talking.
Such a good mare, said the Magic. Such a good, sweet mare. I love her.
She is, I thought, and I love her, too. And she’s an Element of Harmony.
I know all about that , said the Magic.
Hah, of course you do, I said. I’d forgotten for a moment.
You’ve done well, Guardian, very well. I’m very proud of you.
Thank you, Magic, I thought back, but She was gone again.
Eh, well. I watched the Sun set for an hour or so, then used the last of my magic to hoist AJ onto my back, put her ridiculous hat on my own head and started for Sweet Apple Acres. I passed Lyra who was on her way back from helping her friend Golden Harvest and we exchanged tired waves since Lyra had left her Earth pony friend fast asleep, too.
I got to Sweet Apple Acres just as the Sun was setting which as always reminded me of Sunny. I quietly walked up the steps to Applejack’s bedroom and opened the door. I gently put her in bed, covered her up and hung her hat on the bedpost. The room was spartan with just a bed, a dresser and a nightstand. As I walked out, the setting Sun shone on a battered Stetson in a box frame AJ had hung over the dresser. It was torn and the front was stained a rusty brown. Not dirt, I thought, blood. Bloodstains. I put it in the back of my mind and, yawning, headed to the workshop for some well-deserved rest.
After Harvest
Under the harvest moon,
“Poems for Harvest”, The Equestrian Encyclopedia of General Knowledge
I woke up later than usual on 1st, well rested and feeling better than I’d felt in some time; apparently farm life agreed with me. I went through my morning T’ai Chi katas and only felt a few muscle pulls. I didn’t have a scrap of food in the house and my icebox was out of ice, so I trotted to the café to have some breakfast. The town was eerily silent since all the Earth ponies were still sound asleep and would be until tomorrow.
Lyra had the same idea as I and I found her at the café enjoying the cool Fall day.
“Greetings to you, Lyra, and a good harvest,” I said.
“Greetings to you, Benjamin, and my thanks,” she answered, polite as always. “Please join me.”
“A pleasure,” I said, seating myself at her table. The chef, a unicorn who was also acting as waiter today, brought me some black tea without my asking.
“Bless you, Pierre,” I said as I drank the strong stimulant. “Oh, bliss!”
“Monsieur Inventor! I have not seen you lately. You used to come at least once a week, yes?”
I switched to French. “You Court an Earth pony, my friend, and see how much spare time you have for sitting at cafes.”
Pierre laughed and Lyra joined in since she spoke French as well I did. I ordered a blend of lettuce, carrots, cauliflower and cabbage with a carrot juice chaser and Pierre went to fix it.
I drank my tea and enjoyed a companionable silence with Lyra, then looked around.
“Lyra, where is Rarity?”
“Hoofington. She always leaves town just before harvest. She can’t stand to get her hooves dirty.”
I laughed and Lyra joined in since that didn’t surprise us about Rarity in the least. Both Rarity and Lyra had been very good about my Courting Applejack. There were a few unicorn mares who had treated me with disdain and at times outright hostility. The other unicorn stallions in Ponyville (including Pierre) seemed fine with it. Part of the Price, I thought.
“Did you help Carrot Top this year?” I asked.
“Mmm,” Lyra answered, taking a bite of her salad which Pierre had just brought. “Same as every year. We grew up together and it’s a tradition. Twilight helped some, too, then had to leave for Canterlot. 1,045 bushels of carrots,” Lyra sighed.
“Magic?”
“Not once. I am so sore !” said Lyra.
“I wouldn’t mind some time at the spa myself, at least as soon as the spa ponies wake up. Odd how the Earth ponies don’t want us using magic during harvest unless it’s an emergency.”
“Tradition,” said Lyra, sighing again.
“Tradition,” I agreed.
With that, I finished my breakfast, wished Lyra a good day and headed for the bank, a branch of Canterlot 1st National . I knew they weren’t open yet but wanted to check their hours since many businesses closed on the 1st of Eleventh, some for the week. There was no Gala, either, since it was an off year.
I trotted up to the door and found a paper stuck over the usual hours: “Open 1st of Eleventh 9 to 12 only”. I had two hours until 9, so I went back to the workshop to a shed I’d built a few months ago. I found the aeroplane, my Most Secret Project, as I’d left it, wings ready for cloth and the steam power plant ready to winch into place.
I installed the engine, then carefully lowered the two water tanks I’d shaped to fit the ironwood fuselage curve. Next, I installed the feeder valves, filled the tanks and then ran the main valve wide open for about 10 minutes. I checked the tank levels and they were even, so that worked. When I thought to check the calendar clock I was surprised it was 9:30. I locked the door behind me and headed back to the bank.
I walked into a deserted lobby. I looked around and noticed Adding Machine, the branch manager, a young unicorn who’d come to Ponyville from Canterlot around same time I did to help open this branch. I waved and he got up from behind his desk.
“Mr. Inventor,” he said, walking towards me with an outstretched hoof. “Greetings to you, sir, and a good harvest.” That was what I liked about Adding Machine; he loved Ponyville and genuinely liked his Earth pony farmer clients. He’d set up my accounts, too.
“Greetings to you, Adding Machine, and my thanks,” I answered, shaking his hoof. I’d gotten to know Adding Machine through the Stable of Commerce lunches. The bank president, Lady Silver von Stroheim-Featherstone, had sent him to represent the bank instead of joining herself. I’d wondered about Lady Silver since she seemed to spend most of her time in Canterlot instead of in Ponyville. Still, nothing to do with me.
We settled in some comfortable chairs in Adding Machine’s office and visited for a few minutes, then, leaning back and staring at the ceiling, I asked, “Adding Machine? Say one pony wanted to pay off another pony’s mortgage but wasn’t a relative. Is that possible?”
Adding Machine looked thoughtful a moment, then said, “Well, Mr. Inventor, you’d have to check with the president, but as far as I know there are no rules against it. I couldn’t tell you the mortgage amount, though, since that would violate the banker/client privilege.”
“Suppose, then,” I said, still staring at the ceiling, “I threw out a few figures and you – who I’m sure are familiar with the Brickleback Farm account – just happened to use the words “higher” or “lower”, just idly passing the time of day.”
Adding Machine gave a quick grin, then leaned back himself and stared at the ceiling.
“2,500,” I said, looking at the elegant coffered ceiling. Very nice work, I thought.
“Higher,” said Adding Machine.
“3,000”.
“Higher.”
“4,000.”
“Lower.”
“3,500.”
“Higher”
Hmm. “3,800.”
Adding Machine said nothing, just continued to stare upward.
“A most pleasant conversation, Adding Machine, thank you,” I said as I stood. “Is her Ladyship in today?”
Adding Machine stood as well. “Actually, she is, Mr. Inventor. A moment, please, and I’ll ask if she can see you.”
I listened in as Adding Machine called the bank president on a speaker tube. She sounded peeved at first until Adding Machine mentioned my name, then her voice brightened considerably and she told him to send me on up. We exchanged a raised eyebrow look, then I headed for the very elegant brass elevator. I took it to the third floor and stepped out onto a hall runner imported from Baltimare. I walked down the hall and knocked on two imposing doors with a large plaque which said, ”Lady Silver von Stroheim-Featherstone, E.O.M., President”.
A perky voice called out for me to come in, so I opened the door and stepped into a palatial office. On the back wall was huge plate glass window which must have cost at least as much as the bank building itself and had a wonderful view of Ponyville. Behind a polished mahogany desk sat Lady Silver. An older unicorn mare, she once was attractive but hadn’t aged well. She also tried to look 20 years younger than she was which led to some unfortunate make-up and fashion choices.
“Lieutenant!” Lady Silver squealed like a much younger filly. “You’ve come to visit me. Oh, how wonderful to see a civilized pony in this backwater.”
“My Lady,” I said, giving a full court bow. “Greetings to you and a good harvest.”
Instead of responding properly, Lady Silver waved off my greeting. “Oh, please, rise and take a seat. Can you imagine ? Not a decent pony in town and now all the Earth ponies are asleep! Asleep! Our Earth ponies in Canterlot are so much more civilized, don’t you agree?”
I do not like her , said the Magic.
I sat in one of the velvet wingback chairs in front of Lady Silver’s desk, placed my front hooves together and gave her my best bland courtier’s smile.
“Being stuck here, I’ll wager you haven’t heard the latest! You know Baron Romanowsky, the Ambassador? Well, Lady Witherington told me …”
I do not like her at all , said the Magic. For the first time I could Feel the Magic growing Angry.
I held my smile as Lady Silver ran on and on. Magic, I thought, do You trust me?
There was a pause. Yes, She said. I trust you.
Then will You let me handle this my way?
A longer pause. Yes, my Guardian, I will. But I still DON’T…LIKE…HER ! Her soul is small and twisted.
Soul? So that’s how the Magic sees us, I thought. Still, I most certainly wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of the Magic of Equestria. I almost felt sorry for Lady Silver.
Lady Silver ran down after 10 minutes or so and I couldn’t have told anypony a word she said. “So,” said Lady Silver, folding her hooves on her desk. “How may I help you today?”
I leaned forward conspiratorially and placed one hoof on her desk. “My Lady,” I said, in my best low, conspiratorial voice. “I believe you know I’m a Servant of the Crown?”
Lady Silver leaned forward to match my posture, eyes wide and expression greedy. “Yes?” she answered, whispering.
“And as a Servant of the Crown, I oftimes must, shall we say, endure the distasteful?”
“I knew it, I just knew it! I knew a handsome, well-bred unicorn like you wouldn’t willingly have anything to do with these filthy Earth ponies!”
The Magic actually growled in the back of my head.
“Now, now, my Lady, none of that. We must maintain appearances, mustn’t we? After all, Herself is watching Ponyville very closely, very closely indeed.”
“Ooohhhh,” Lady Silver breathed. She was close enough to me I could see her eye make-up which had started to flake since she’d used far too much. Her perfume was a bit cloying and I thought of AJ’s clean, crisp smell.
I went on. “My Lady, I tell you this in complete confidence. The Crown wants this place, wants all of it. However,” I said, “the Crown doesn’t want to…upset…the natives. After all, Herself will need willing workers after…well…after.” I sat back. “So, my Lady, that’s why I’m here today,” I said in my normal voice. “I wish to pay off the mortgage on Brickleback Farm.”
“But what in the name of Equestria would the Crown…”
I raised an eyebrow and looked sharply at Lady Silver.
“Oh…oh, my…um, I mean, ‘What would you want with some shoddy little farm?’”
I just stared out the window knowing Lady Silver would give herself the answer.
“Gold?” she whispered.
I kept staring.
“Not…not alicorn silver?” Lady Silver hissed.
I coughed delicately into my right hoof. A beautiful Fall day, I thought.
Lady Silver’s expression grew even more greedy, then cleared. She opened the speaking tube and blew into it.
“My Lady?” came the tinny response from Adding Machine.
“AM, give the Lieutenant whatever he needs, please,” said Lady Silver brightly.
“Yes, my Lady,” he answered and Lady Silver snapped the speaking tube cover shut.
I stood and gave another full bow. “Others have not exaggerated my Lady’s generosity and…perceptive…intellect,” I said, pausing in just the right places.
Lady Silver giggled like a coquette, a brittle sound which was out of place coming from her overweight, middle-aged frame. As I rose, I thought of the attractive and honest Brickle sisters and how their laughter was so much more genuine.
Lady Silver got up from behind her desk. She offered me a hoof which I kissed, lingering just a fraction longer than propriety demanded and looking into her rather muddy eyes. Lady Silver giggled again, then showed me to the door.
“Please let me know if I can do anything else for you at all,” she said, batting her artificial eyelashes.
“I will come to you at once, my Lady, the moment I …need anything else,” I answered. “Thank you again.”
Lady Silver waved a hoof like a little filly and shut the door behind me. I took a deep breath and let it out again as I walked down the stairs to the first floor where I found Adding Machine holding a red file. With no further ado, he opened it and handed me a slip of paper with an amount (3,804 bits). I reached in my pouch and wrote a check. I handed that to Adding Machine, he stamped the mortgage as “Paid In Full” and then handed me the deed. We did all this without saying a word.
I put the deed in my pouch, and then stood to leave. Rather daring, I reached out my left hoof and put it on Adding Machine’s left shoulder. The gesture meant much more between unicorns than when other ponies used it; magic users were very careful about uninvited touching.
“Adding Machine, if we opened a bank here in Ponyville, would you run it for us?”
Adding Machine’s face showed astonishment for a fraction of a second, and then he covered my left hoof with his right. I felt the slight bond between us strengthen as our magical fields met.
“Benjamin Inventor,” Adding Machine said, his clear sea-blue eyes looking into mine, “it would be my honor.”
I took my hoof down slowly. “Thank you once again, Adding Machine. I’ll see you at the next Stable of Commerce?”
“Until then, sir,” he said, and opened the bank door for me.
I walked out into the beautiful, clear day. I could love that one, said the Magic about Adding Machine.
So could I, I thought back.
The Life and Times of Benjamin Inventor (Part 1)
Memories
When we two parted
“Poems of Love and Loss”, The Equestrian Encyclopedia of General Knowledge
Playing the courtier always made me hungry, so I headed back to Pierre’s for some lunch. I was thinking about what I was going to eat when the Magic spoke up again.
Guardian? She asked, rather tentatively.
Yes, Magic?
I’m sorry.
About what?
About not trusting you.
Bah, I thought. What nonsense is this?
The ugly one, said the Magic, meaning Lady Silver’s soul. You knew exactly what to do and say. And you didn’t lie, not even once. I was just…angry.
Eh, well. Who does she have in her miserable life? Anypony? No. I have You, AJ, the Apples, the Brickle sisters, ponies like Adding Machine. Who does she have? And You’re far more deserving of a title than she. My Lady Magic. Yes, I thought, I like that. Lady Magic.
Oh, Guardian, said the Magic and She would have blushed if She were a mare.
Time for lunch, my Lady, I thought as I stepped in the open back door of the café. Pierre made me most welcome and I shared some apples (Red Delicious) and a snifter of Apple Brandy (10 years old) with him in the kitchen. We talked about this and that and, as always, mares. Pierre quite fancied Lyra. He even knew Lady Silver from when she was a schoolfilly and told me how the other unicorns had once glued her hooves to her desk when she fell asleep in class.
Pierre kissed me on both cheeks as I stood to go and I returned the same. An odd custom, particularly between stallions, but not objectionable. Replete, I walked to the Post Office which was just across from City Hall. The postmistress Summer Breeze, an attractive young pegasus, was on duty, sorting mail. I enjoyed watching her move as I opened the Post Office door. Pegasi are smaller than other ponies and are extremely graceful, even on the ground.
“Why, it’s Mr. Inventor,” she exclaimed, tossing some letters into a bin. “Good afternoon and a good harvest.”
I smiled and nodded. “Thank you, Postmistress. You’re looking very fit, as always. You truly do grace our Ponyville skies.” Sunny had taught me how to talk to pegasus mares. It was a good thing she did since when I polled a pegasi cutie mark, I got nothing at all. Zero. Not sure why that was, but it meant I had to learn pegasi customs the old-fashioned way. For example, if I’d been interested in a romance with Summer Breeze, I’d have said, “You truly do grace my skies.”
Summer Breeze’s cheeks and wing edges turned a bright red and she looked to one side. “Oh, Mr. Inventor, you’re shameless! You’re Courting Applejack Apple and here you are, saying such things.” She smiled as she said it, though.
“That certainly doesn’t stop me from complimenting a valued and attractive mare, Postmistress,” I said. “And I daresay Storm Spotter would agree with every word.” Storm Spotter was Summer Breeze’s paramour; Rarity had mentioned his name offhoof to me one day when we were talking about pegasi. Sunny also told me pegasi rarely married but did form pair bonds which were much the same. They usually didn’t last more than a few years, though.
“Now, you just stop!” she said, blushing even more. “What can I do for you today?”
I pulled out the Brickleback Farm deed. “A special delivery for tomorrow, if you please. To Marguerite Brickle of Brickleback Farm.”
Summer Breeze pulled out a small form and wrote on it. “Let’s see, that’ll be…12 bits.”
I handed over the coins. “And if you could have Ditzy Doo deliver it, I’d be most obliged. Ma Brickle has used her before.”
Summer Breeze stopped writing and looked up at me, a strange expression on her face. “Wait…you want to use Derpy to deliver this?”
“’Derpy’. Yes, that was the other name she used. Is there a problem?”
“Why…why, no. It’s just that…well…I mean, Derpy! Nopony has ever asked for Derpy before,” said Summer Breeze. She quickly finished the form and handed me the receipt.
“Derpy’s timely delivery of Ma Brickle’s letter to me might well have saved Brickleback Farm,” I added, putting the receipt in my pouch.
“I…I can’t believe it. Derpy! Well, who’d have thought?”
“A valued member of your staff, I’ve no doubt,” I said, nodding. “Well, I’m off. It was good seeing you, Postmistress. May the Wind be at your back.”
I turned to leave and heard a tentative, “Mr. Inventor?”
I turned back. “Please, we know one another well enough now. Call me ‘Benjamin’ or ‘Ben’ if ‘Benjamin’ is too long.”
“Summer,” said the pretty pegasus, as she raised the countertop and stepped out from behind the counter. She came a few steps toward me. “Um…Benjamin…no, Ben…um, well…some of us mares were wondering…” Summer flexed her wings once which meant she was embarrassed or troubled.
“Please, Summer, go ahead.”
“Well, I know unicorns are private and all,” she started, then laughed and looked up at me. “Not us pegasi, no sir; we all know everything there is to know about one another. No secrets between us, nope.” Summer looked down at the ground and flexed her wings again.
Summer went on, looking up at me. “It’s just that…you always say such sweet things to pegasus mares and...actually, even the stallions like you and you know how they don’t like groundpounders…” Summer blushed again and covered her mouth with a hoof since “groundpounders” was considered somewhat rude.
I smiled to put her at ease. “Go ahead, Summer. Pegasus stallions in the Guard called me far worse.”
Summer flashed me a smile, then finished in a rush. “Well, we were wondering…that is, the other mares and I were wondering…if, if you had a pegasus lover in Canterlot because, because even though you’re a unicorn you treat pegasus mares so well…not like some ponies who treat us like we’re flighty and dumb and…not that you’re anything other than a gentlestallion all the time, of course…and, well, the way you look at us mares sometimes with that faraway expression you have like you’re remembering somepony else and, gosh, I’m just running on and on, but since most ponies are asleep today I wanted to ask you since I’ve never really had a chance to talk to you by yourself and I didn’t want to come to your workshop and…”
I started to reassure Summer and tell her some platitude when all at once memories of my time with Sunny came rushing back. Our train ride, dancing together, laying side my side, me holding her in my hooves, preening her, walking on the beach, long conversations. All of it along with the feelings I thought I’d safely tucked away. I felt tears start to run down my muzzle.
“Ohnonono,” said Summer who jumped forward, stood on her rear hooves and threw both front hooves around my neck. “Oh, please, Ben, don’t cry! I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean to hurt you!” Summer started to cry as well. Still standing, I buried my head in her neck and sobbed, holding nothing back. Her wonderful, wild scent was so like Sunny’s it made my heart ache even more.
We stood like that for a few minutes until I’d cried myself out, soaking Summer’s neck and side with tears and mucus.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know, I’m sorry!” a tearful Summer said as I finally raised my head, collected myself and took a step back. She had both hooves covering her mouth and her muzzle was stained with tears.
I blew my nose on the handkerchief I always carried. “Summer,” I started, still choked.
“Yes, oh, I’m so so sorry!” she said, wiping away tears with her hooves. Her wings were half flexed in distress.
“Here, don’t use your hooves,” I said as I used a second handkerchief to wipe her face. “Summer,” I started again once I cleared my throat. “Do you know what it’s like to have a One True Love?”
Summer looked thoughtful, then looked down at the ground. “No,” she said. “Not really.”
I breathed in and out several times. “Then you are most fortunate. For us few, us blessed and cursed few, it is both wonderful and terrible. I would not trade my memories for anything, and until I meet the Stallion in the White Suit, they will stay with me, are a part of me and shape my living each and every day. Ah, Summer Breeze, you who outshine the clouds in their beauty, I must thank you.”
Summer gave me a quick smile. “There you go again…wait, what? What’d I do?”
“You gave me a release I needed. I thought I’d given all of myself to Applejack, but there was that last, small part I’d kept back. I’ve found it again. Thank you, Beautiful Pegasus Mare,” I said, and gave her a full bow.
“Quit it, quit it, quit it!” she said, stomping her front hooves and starting to cry again. I stood and wiped her muzzle until she stopped.
Once she recovered, I put away the handkerchiefs. “Well, it’s been quite a day,” I said. Summer nodded vigorously. “Summer, I hope Applejack and I will see more of you and Storm Spotter this Winter. I’d very much like to spend time with both of you.”
“I’d like that, too!” Summer said. “Actually, I think I’ll close early today and go find Stormy. I’d…I’d like to go flying with him before we start preparing for Winter.”
“A capital idea! Please give him my best.”
After Summer cleaned herself up in the bathroom, we walked outside. Summer locked the Post Office, turned to me, raised up on her rear hooves and with her right front hoof on my chest, kissed me on both cheeks and touched my nose with hers, a pegasus ritual I didn’t know but certainly enjoyed. Farewell over, Summer went back to all fours and turned into the Wind.
“I’m glad we’re friends,” she said over her shoulder as she spread her wings.
“As am I, Summer Breeze. Fly well!”
“‘Bye!” she said and, after waving a hoof, shot off into the sky. I waved back and wondered idly if pegasi ever went anywhere slowly. It seemed they were always in a hurry to get somewhere, and when they got there they were in a hurry to leave, exactly the opposite of Earth ponies. No wonder Applejack and Rainbow Dash fought sometimes.
I turned from the Post Office and walked through a silent town. I made myself a bet Summer would turn my comments into some tragic story of a pegasus mare lover dying in my hooves and then me standing on a cliffside inconsolable with grief, mane blowing in the Wind as I contemplated suicide. She’d tell the other pegasi mares, of course, and I realized I could flirt with them even more outrageously now. I laughed to myself as I wondered if the Encyclopedia listed compliments for pegasus mares.
I got to the edge of town and turned around. I love this place, I thought, I love it more than anyplace I’ve ever been. And I love the infuriating, complicated and wonderful ponies, too; I’d do anything to keep them safe and happy. I turned back around to head for the workshop when I heard a *click* and felt magic wash over me. My whole body tingled and I quickly looked around to see if there was anypony close casting a strong spell. No, nopony near; I was alone.
Guardian, said Lady Magic, and it was as clear as if She were standing next to me.
My Lady? I said. What’s happening? I can hear You!
Yes, my Guardian. You’ve accepted your role on this World. I can speak to you now where before you could barely hear me.
Well, well, well! I thought. Say, do I get my costume and cape now ?
My Lady Magic laughed like ringing bells. No, my vain Guardian, no cape. Nopony must know just yet, not even your Beloved.
I held up my right hoof and cast the most basic of spells, a magic ball to give light. A blue flame appeared with a WHOOSH and shot up into the air three or four feet. Whoa! I thought, flexing after I’d doused the flame. Level up! I also realized I could feel the ground beneath my hooves and the sky above me. I breathed in the clean, crisp air and felt very much alive.
Thank You, my Lady. Thank You for this.
You’re welcome, Guardian. You have one last task today, though.
I had about three hours until Sunset and was more than ready. Derpy, I thought.
Derpy, said Lady Magic. I nodded and cast the Pony Locator spell.
An Unexpected Lesson
Remember always that the left hand is the weapon of assault, the right being held for purposes of defense, or occasionally used for severe and crushing punishment. Of course, this remark does not imply that you are never to let drive with left and right in rapid succession, which is often done when opportunity offers, especially when you have to resort to “infighting,” but it is laid down as a broad maxim, and should be followed when you are “out-sparring.”
“The Art of Self-Defense”, The Equestrian Encyclopedia of General Knowledge
“Thou art the Spring in my year and the Rain in my Summer.”
“Compliments for Pegasus Mares”, The Equestrian Encyclopedia of General Knowledge
Somewhat to my surprise, Derpy lived about five minutes from the workshop. Most pegasi who lived on the ground at all lived on the other side of town closer to Cloudsdale.
I made it to Derpy’s cottage in about 10 minutes. It was the standard Ponyville four-room cottage, neat and well-kept. The lawn was raked and mowed and the grass had gone dormant for the year. I walked up and knocked on the door.
After a minute or so Derpy answered. She opened the door slowly and looked out, then when she saw me opened it all the way.
“Why, Mr. Inventor! What are you doing here?” Derpy at once realized her faux pas and stepped back, opening the door all the way. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting visitors. Please, come in.” Derpy’s voice was as soft and pleasant as I remembered; it was velvet for the ears.
“Miss Doo,” I said as I walked in. “Please pardon the unannounced visit. Your cottage is on the way to my workshop so I thought I’d drop by.”
“Yes, I know. I watched you build it and was amazed at how you could set bricks with magic.”
We sat in a clean and pleasant front parlor. Derpy had a book sitting on a magnifying glass next to a small wingback chair; I assumed that was the only way the poor filly could read.
Derpy brought me some chamomile tea and had a cup herself. She sat in her chair and said, “I am glad to see you, Mr. Inventor. You’re my first visitor since I moved here.”
I took a sip of tea which was very good and said, “Oh? How long have you lived here?”
“A year next month,” Derpy said, sipping her own tea.
A year ! I thought. And no visitors during all that time. How odd. Then I put it all together; Summer’s reaction when I asked for Derpy, the way Applejack, the friendliest of all ponies, ignored Derpy when she delivered the letter, no visitors. Most likely ponies ostracized her because of her deformity, perhaps without even thinking about it. She must have led a terribly sad and lonely life.
“I’ve asked the Postmistress to use you for a special delivery tomorrow,” I said, setting my cup down on the tea tray.
“You did? Why, thank you, Mr. Inventor. Nopony has ever asked for me before.” Derpy went on sipping her tea.
Well, nothing ventured. “Miss Doo…” I said.
“Call me ‘Derpy’, please. Everypony else does.”
“And I’m ‘Benjamin’ or ‘Ben’ if ‘Benjamin’ is too long.”
Derpy just smiled in thanks, put her cup down and demurely folded her hooves in front of her.
“Derpy, what I’m going to tell you I ask you to please keep to yourself. I’m a healer and I believe I can fix your esotropia. Esotropia is a congenital condition – that means you were born with it…”
“I know what it ‘congenital’ means, Mr. Inventor. I’m not stupid, you know.”
“Why, of course you’re not, Derpy. Please forgive me if I implied…”
“And it’s very mean of you to come to my house and pretend you can fix my eyes. Nopony can fix my eyes.” Derpy’s voice had grown louder as she was talking. It still wasn’t very loud, but she had knotted her front hooves together and was certainly agitated.
Derpy went on. “Mother took me to several doctors when I was little including two in Manehatten. They said there was nothing they or anypony else could do. So I’ve had to live with it. Now, if you’d please leave, I certainly don’t need yet another pony pointing out I have crossed eyes.”
Well, this went downhill fast, I thought. I rose at once and made a half bow. “Please excuse my intrusion, Derpy. I didn’t mean to offend you. I’ll see myself out.”
I turned toward the door and was reaching for the knob when I heard Derpy let out a small sound. I turned back to see she had her hooves over her eyes and was crying quietly. I sighed, then reached for the door knob again.
“I thought you were different,” Derpy said. “You talked to me. You looked right at me. I thought you were different !” Derpy yelled the last word and lowered her hooves.
Uh, Lady Magic? I thought.
Wait, She said.
Derpy jumped out of her chair, hooves raised. My body instinctively went into a fighting crouch until I realized what I was doing and relaxed. I Knew what to do now.
“You made me hope again! You…made…ME…HOPE !!” screamed Derpy, standing on her rear hooves and smashing her left and then her right hoof into my jaw in time with the last four words. Her right actually wasn’t bad but her left was weak. I’d had far worse in the dojo during practice with the Guards, so I let my head roll with the punches making sure I kept my eye on her hooves as they connected. Like I’d told my students, never underestimate your opponent and watch those hooves!
Derpy fell sobbing to the floor after the fourth punch. She’d given me a nose bleed, but it wasn’t much. Derpy was smaller than Summer Breeze so she was easy enough to pick up. I cradled her in my front hooves, then sat back down in the chair I’d just left.
Sing, said Lady Magic.
I cleared my throat and sang a nursery song I’d heard mares singing to their foals when I lived in the palace:
Hush little filly, don't say a word,
Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird.
And if that mockingbird won't sing,
Papa's gonna buy you a diamond ring.
And if that diamond ring turns to brass,
Papa's gonna buy you a looking glass.
And if that looking glass gets broke,
Papa's gonna buy you a billy goat.
And if that billy goat won't pull,
Papa's gonna buy you a cart and bull.
I had my muzzle against Derpy’s head while I sang. She sobbed and sobbed like her heart would break; her body vibrated with it. I guessed she’d been holding in her grief and rage for years, perhaps since she was a filly. By the Lord of Hel’s black and hairy tail, this has been a day for volatile emotions, I thought.
Soon Derpy became quiet. When I felt her stir, I put her down and helped her to stand. She looked at me with her sweet, tear-stained face and said, “Gahhh! Ben! I hit you! *hic* I’m so, so sorry! I haven’t hit anypony *hic* since I was a little filly *hic*.”
I leaned back and waved a hoof. “Not a’tall, not a’tall, Derpy. Just a little dust-up between friends. You should see what the Royal Guard does during sparring matches. Talk about punches! By the way, make sure hit from your hip, not your shoulder; spin into your opponent as if you were punching your opponent with your hips.”
“Still, I *hic* hit you. I…I *hic* don’t know what *hic* came over me *hic*.”
“There are any number of ponies in Canterlot who would envy you those punches, Derpy,” I said.
Derpy actually giggled, then hiccupped again.
“Some pony has the hiccups,” I said. “Say, why don’t you go in the kitchen and drink some water while I go in the bathroom and clean up a bit myself.”
Derpy nodded, so I got up and headed for her bathroom. It was a little girly with penguins on the shower curtain and flowered wallpaper. Her mirror was as large as possible for the wall although it was the only one I’d seen in the house. I looked myself over. Not bad. I washed the blood off my muzzle and saw my nose had stopped bleeding a good while ago. I had a slight knot on the left side of my jaw but some ice from Sweet Apple Acres should take care of that.
I wet a washcloth and walked back into the parlor to find Derpy drinking down a glass of water. When she put it down, I wiped off her face, and then had her turn around so I could wipe the blood off of her neck and shoulder. Some had dripped on her left scapula, so I rubbed that as well.
“Ow!” said Derpy as her wing twitched.
I put down the washcloth and felt the muscles where the wing joined her frame. I didn’t need to be a healer to feel they were swollen and knotted.
“Derpy, what in Equestria have you been doing? I’m surprised you can fly on this wing.”
“Oh…well,” she said, looking back at my hooves as I rubbed the base of her wing. “There were more special deliveries during harvest than we expected. I had to do those along with my regular rounds.”
“Honestly, Derpy, who does your preening? They’ve certainly missed this.” Sunny told me pegasi paired to preen each other from the time they could fly. There were also groups of three, four and even five. It was a most pleasant and intimate way to spend time and the best possible way to learn about another pegasus. Using magic made it far easier, too, although it was great fun doing it by hoof.
Derpy looked down at the floor again as I rubbed her flight muscles. “Nopony,” she said quietly. “I do my own preening.”
The ultimate exclusion in pegasus society. Stunned, I stopped rubbing, then started again.
“Well, young mare, this is most definitely your lucky day. I’m better at preening than most pegasus stallions and at least as good as most mares. I’m a mechanic, you know.”
Derpy looked back at me again, eyes wide. “You’d do that for me? Nopony has ever done anything like that for me.”
“Get comfortable, my dear mare, and prepare yourself for a treat! Where’s your massage oil?”
“In the bathroom under the sink,” said Derpy as she started to lie down on the parlor rug.
I fetched the oil, a sweat scraper then got myself a large glass of water from the kitchen; you had to keep your mouth moist when you preened. If I weren’t a healer I’d have had Derpy take foalsmane or something similar to relax her muscles, but I thought I’d use a shortcut and do it myself.
I came back in the parlor to find Derpy stretched out but still stiff; clearly she wasn’t used to anypony touching her. Well, no matter. I made sure we had plenty of room on either side for her wings, and then straddled her with my hind legs, resting my tail on her haunches. I rubbed massage oil into her left scapula and she groaned out loud, and then started to relax.
I used a touch of magic to take down the swelling, then rubbed the muscle some more until it was flexible. I did the same to the right scapula, and then massaged her shoulders and back muscles. Derpy must have stored her stress in her lower back since I had to use magic twice to get it to unknot. By then Derpy was making contented noises.
“Wonderful! This what a massage is like? S’great,” she muttered.
Once I’d finished the massage, I used a sweat scraper to scrape off the oil. I had a couple of wet towels ready, so I heated those with magic and gave her a vigorous rub including around her ears and the muscles on her neck. Derpy’s body was really very good, fit and toned from her constant flying. Like anypony, though, her body needed some maintenance and hadn’t been getting it. I used magic to align her spine, too, and was pleased when the vertebra clicked back into place.
“Just lie there a moment and I’ll be right back.” Derpy didn’t answer, just made a slight humming sound.
I washed my hooves in the kitchen sink and, then magically cleaned the towels of oil and hung them in the shower to dry. I straddled Derpy again and started to tug and preen the primaries on her left wing with my mouth, taking a sip of water every now and then. Derpy had the usual gamey pegasus taste overlaid with a mix of charcoal and something sweet like honey. It was very pleasant if completely different than Sunny’s cotton sheet flavor.
Derpy shifted a little, and then relaxed completely for the first time.
“So good,” she said. “Very, very good. Tingles. Can feel you on my back. Lucky, lucky Applejack t’ have somepony. Like stallions but they don’t like me. M’eyes, ya know?” Sunny used to drift exactly the same way when I preened her. Brought back good memories, it did, memories which were no longer painful.
I moved onto the secondaries and then the coverts. By then Derpy was making a low, steady hum, almost like a beehive. All pegasi did it when they were completely relaxed and in a sort of fugue state. Derpy’s hum was a slightly higher pitch than Sunny’s. More good memories.
I finished my water, got some more and started on the right wing. While I was working on the right secondaries, I used the smallest, lightest touch of magic to strengthen the lateral rectus and inferior oblique on each eye, then added just a touch of length to the lateral on the right eye. I Felt Derpy’s eyes glide into place, both in perfect balance. I hadn’t realized I was holding my breath until I let it out around one of Derpy’s coverts.
Derpy was in a deep, deep sleep when I finished, almost a coma. This was normal for a very tired pegasus and I wondered how many years it had been since she’d had a decent night’s sleep. I rinsed out the cup and put it in the drain board, filled the water tank which was almost empty, checked the hot water tank, filled that, then put away the massage oil and sweat scraper. I used the bathroom myself and then cleaned up a bit with a washcloth. I went back in the parlor and made sure all was in good order (no blood on the furniture, that sort of thing), then lifted Derpy with magic and floated her into her bedroom.
I pulled back a bedspread which was covered with romping kittens and slid Derpy under the sheets. I made sure no candles or lamps were burning, shut her bedroom door, gave the rooms one last inspection and then shut the front door behind me. Whew, what a day.
It was about half an hour to Sunset which meant I had just enough time to get some food and some ice. I trotted to Sweet Apple Acres, my breath steaming in the cold air. Frost tonight, I thought, as I let myself in. I crept upstairs and checked on the family who were all sound asleep, then loaded a sack with the leftovers from the kitchen. I got some ice from the icehouse, wrapped it in a towel, and then used magic to hold it against my jaw as I trotted back to the workshop.
I got to the workshop just as the Sun set. I had to admit, I was more than glad to get home and have something to eat at my own table. And eat I did, almost like an Earth pony. I had enough leftovers when I finished for a few more meals, so I put most of the vegetables in my replenished icebox and left the fruit out on the kitchen table. I debated reading some more in The Equestrian Encyclopedia of General Knowledge but decided it could wait.
So this is what it’s like to be a Guardian, I thought, as I went up to bed. I like it. Still want the cape, though.
The Life and Times of Benjamin Inventor (Part 1)
I Prove My Worth A Final Time
When served, do not wait until all the others are helped, but as soon as your plate is placed before you, take up your knife and fork, help yourself to salt, first arranging your napkin to shield your attire, but not wearing it like a bib about your neck. And, of course, you will never commit the solecism of putting your knife into your mouth.
This last is a rule which should never be deviated from, and the almost universal custom of using four-tined forks, makes it quite as easy to eat with a fork as a knife. We have heard this custom denounced as "absurd and ridiculous" -- as "similar to eating soup with a knitting-needle," or "sipping tea with a hair-pin" -- but still must mention that the taste of a steel knife is very obnoxious, no matter how high its polish, and even a silver knife is better for dividing the food into portions, than for carrying it to the mouth.
“Table Manners in Polite Society”, The Equestrian Encyclopedia of General Knowledge
I woke up on 2nd as the Fall Sun rose. I was tingling with new magic as I ran through my usual stretches and T’ai Chi katas, then headed downstairs for breakfast. I’d just finished eating when I heard a light tapping at the kitchen door. Most of my clients came to the front of the workshop, but a few who knew me well came to the kitchen for a quick visit and a bite before getting down to business. Technically it was an hour before I opened the shop, but business was business and I didn’t mind.
I opened the door and said, “Good morn…” That was as far as I got.
A grey streak slammed into me and together we somersaulted twice before I found myself on my back on my kitchen floor. I looked up into the clear and very normal yellow eyes of Derpy as she sat on my chest.
“Looklooklooklooklooklook!!” she yelled happily. Even when she yelled, her voice was pleasant.
“Derpy!” I answered, tilting my head up and gazing at her. “What in Equestria are you doing!?!” I knew perfectly well but wanted to see what she’d say.
“My eyes! Look at my eyes!” Derpy rolled her eyes up, down and then back and forth. “I can see, I can see, I can seeeeee! Ahhhhhhh!” Derpy tilted her muzzle up to the ceiling and yelled with joy, then looked down at me again, eyes wide.
“By the Magic of Equestria! Your eyes, Derpy! They’re…they’re normal!” She doesn’t know it was me, I thought. That’s fine.
“I know, I know, right?” Derpy said, finally jumping off of me and taking a quick flight around the room. “It’s a miracle! I can’t wait to show everypony.” Derpy’s normally sweet expression became fierce. “And some ponies more than others.”
“Well now, how about that?” I said as I got to my hooves, dusting hoofprints off of my chest.
“Ben,” Derpy said, turning to me.
“Go ahead.”
“Ben…” Derpy said again, this time looking down and scuffing her right hoof on the floor.
“Go ahead, Derpy.”
“I can’t thank you enough for yesterday. It was one of the best days of my entire life.” Derpy raised her right hoof and laid it gently on my chest. “Could we…do it again sometime? I mean, I know you’re with Applejack and all, but…”
“Of course we can, Derpy; it would be my pleasure to preen you whenever you like.” I took Derpy’s right hoof in both of my front hooves. “One among many of Applejack’s excellent qualities is she isn’t the jealous type. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind but we can keep it to ourselves for now if you’d like. And I daresay you’ll soon have any number of other invitations to preen from pegasus ponies. You’re very fit and pretty, you know.”
Derpy blushed slightly, a delightful light pink shade which complimented her grey. And she did look wonderful with her hide shining and wings freshly preened. I released her hoof.
“Thank you, Ben. Oh, thank you! After 5th I’m going to take a few days off and head to Cloudsdale to see my mother. I’ll see you when I get back?”
“I look forward to it, Derpy. Enjoy your visit and please give your mother my best.”
Derpy waved, and then headed for the door. She got halfway out, then turned around and ran back to me. She stood on her rear hooves, put both front hooves on my chest, kissed me on both cheeks and touched my nose with hers. She gave me a quick kiss on the lips, too, which I returned; I wouldn’t want to be rude, after all.
She stretched a little higher, held her muzzle next to my ear and whispered, “If you weren’t with Applejack...”
“…then you would grace my skies, Ditzy Doo,” I murmured back.
Derpy hopped down and gave me that beautiful smile of hers, waved, raced out the door and zoomed away.
Thank you, Ben, said Lady Magic.
You’re welcome, my Lady. As always, I am at Your service.
My gallant Guardian! She’s special to me, that one. I’ll take over from here.
Lady Magic’s tone changed to one of mischief. I didn’t see you protest kissing her, Guardian.
Haven’t You heard, my Lady? I’m irresistible. Wouldn’t want to disappoint a mare, either.
My answer was my Lady’s laughter.
I put the “Closed” sign on the shop’s door and headed for Sweet Apple Acres. My hooves crunched through frost as I breathed in the cold air. I passed a Northern cardinal on a fence post.
“Beautiful day,” said the redbird.
I stopped with one hoof in the air, my expression no doubt completely slack.
“I said, ‘Beautiful day’,” said the cardinal, sounding slightly put out.
“Ahem…it is, at that. You are ready for Winter, Handsome Songbird?” I wasn’t sure where that honorific came from, but it seemed natural so I used it.
“Almost,” said the redbird, then waved a wing and flew off.
Apparently my growing more powerful wasn’t the only change from yesterday, I thought as I kept trotting. I suppose this is what it’s like for Fluttershy. I’ll have to have a talk with her soon. Very soon. Soonest.
I got to Sweet Apple Acres as the Sun was half up. I walked into the kitchen to find Applejack surrounded by platter after platter of food. She’d just set aside a stack of hotcakes and wasn’t wearing her usual ribbons. Her mane and tail flowed loose, rippling as she moved.
Applejack looked around as I came in and her expression changed to one of pure joy. She raced over, picked me up and twirled me around the kitchen a few times, somehow managing not to knock over a single plate.
“Hiya, Partner, hiya, hiya, hiya! Oh, I’m so glad to see you today!”
Applejack put me down and it took me a moment to catch my breath. Earth ponies were strong , stronger than most other ponies realized.
“Ah…ah…whooo…*gasp*…and a good morning to you, too, fiancée. I see the rest has done you some good.”
I wasn’t exaggerating, either. Applejack’s green eyes, always clear, positively glowed. Her hide gleamed like polished wood and her blonde mane crackled with energy.
“Yep, feeling good. Always do after harvest and during Spring Plantin’.”
Yes, I’d read about Earth ponies during Spring Planting in the Equestrian Encyclopedia . They became quite…raucous, apparently, which was why there were a number of foals born during Twelfth. I had to admit, I was looking forward to it.
I started to answer when Apple Bloom came racing into the kitchen and slammed into me. We somersaulted twice and once again I ended up starting at the ceiling with a pony on my chest. That was me, the Tumbling Pony, one night only. Thanks, ponies, you’ve been a great crowd.
“Apple Bloom!!” said Applejack, appalled and completely ignoring squeezing me half to death a minute or so earlier.
“Yee-hah!” yelled Apple Bloom. She was sans ribbon as well and her naturally curly brown mane bounced up and down. She leaned over and kissed my nose. “Morning, future brother-in-law!”
“Morning, Pest,” I said, not even bothering to raise my head off of the floor. I’d nicknamed her “Pest #1” when she and her two friends got into the workshop one day and almost caused a boiler to explode. I’d kicked them out most soundly but didn’t tell anypony else, so the nickname was just between us.
Applejack walked over and lifted Apple Bloom off of me. “Quit jumpin’ on Ben, Sugarcube. You interrupted our talking.”
I stood up and once again brushed off hoofprints. Big Mac walked into the kitchen without his usual horse collar and I had to stop and stare. There was an Ancient Equestrian statue in the Canterlot Museum of a stallion with a plaque which said, “Idealized Stallion #2.” Here before me was a living example of that with rippling muscles and perfect proportions. No wonder all the mares vied for his attention. He was completely unconscious of it as usual.
“Morning, Sisters, Ben,” he said and started to serve himself breakfast.
“Brother,” said Applejack as she handed me a plate. I greeted him at the same time.
“Brother!,” said Apple Bloom, jumping up and swinging on his left front leg. Big Mac pretended not to notice and just kept serving himself.
Granny came in last, her beautiful white mane flowing half way down her back. I had no idea her mane was so long since I’d only seen it in a bun before this. She looked 10 years younger, too, and sharp as a whip.
“Morning, Family,” she said and sat at the table. “Thank you, Hon,” she said as Apple Bloom served her a plate full of apples, pears, cucumbers and blueberry pancakes. We all sat at the large kitchen table and for a good many minutes there was only the sound of chewing. The Earth ponies ate even more than usual since they’d skipped a few meals during harvest and had slept for a full day.
Soon enough there were only leftovers and not many of those. Apple Bloom and I cleaned up the kitchen, then the Apples went upstairs to finish dressing. When they came back down a few minutes later, ribbons, bun and horse collar in place, they still looked more vibrant and alive than I’d ever seen them.
We settled in the parlor, Granny in her usual chair and Applejack next to me. Granny pulled out a sheaf of papers, took the last one and said, “This here was our best harvest yet, Family. After expenses we cleared 4,123 bits.” That sounded a little low to me, but I didn’t keep the books so I kept quiet. “I’ve deposited your salaries in your bank accounts and that should last you for a good while. Ben, what should I do with your salary? Ya want it in a separate account?”
My salary was 300 bits which was quite generous. I’d thought about what to do with it already. “I’d like to reinvest my salary in the farm, Granny, hopefully to upgrade the cider making equipment. What you do with it I’ll leave up to you, though.”
Applejack looked startled, then looked at me like I was dropped from above. The others just stared. “Why…why, Youngster! I don’t know what to say,” said Granny. “We was going to wait ‘til next year to upgrade the cider mill, but if you give the farm your salary, we can do it this Winter before we start a’pressin’.”
“That’s fine, Granny. If I had no other source of income I’d keep it but since I have my own business, I’d rather improve the farm.”
Granny looked very satisfied. “Thank you, Youngster, thank you. Mighty generous, that.” Granny made a note on the paper, then set the sheaf aside. “We’ll go over the plan for planting the Winter crops tomorrow. Now then, on to new business. Benjamin, you have somethin’ to bring to the family?”
I stepped forward slightly. “Thank you, Granny. As you know, the Brickles have an automatic hay baler and their baled hay provides the bulk of their income. The baler itself is in poor shape, though, and won’t last another season.” Granny and the others looked shocked at that.
“Is it that bad?” asked AJ.
“Mmm, it is, indeed, AJ. However, I have a solution. I made pact with Ma Brickle after I fixed the baler during harvest. In exchange for paying off her mortgage, she’ll sell me the baler. I’ll replicate it (with some improvements) and make two balers, one of which we’ll keep here at Sweet Apple Acres; Brickleback Farm will get the other. That will let us bale the hay we stack now and sell it to the Hoofington market while Brickleback will sell to the Manehatten market as usual. If we share the steam tractor, I estimate we’ll have more than enough time to harvest the Brickle’s hay and our hay as well.”
“I also offered the Brickles a new hay barn to store the bulk of their hay so they could sell it for far more during the Winter months instead of selling it all at once at harvest. I haven’t worked out the figures yet but that should double their farm’s revenue at least. We’d need two new hay barns as well which I’ll pay for myself. Finally, the baler and the two hay barns will be my Courting Gift to Applejack so the cost won’t come out of the farm accounts.”
I took a breath and finished. “I paid off the Brickleback Farm mortgage yesterday and the Post Office will deliver the farm’s title to Ma today. I’ll take the steam truck and pick up the baler this morning. I’ll make the two balers this Winter after I get some more steel bar stock, then deliver them before Spring Planting. We can build the barns next Summer after the Spring lumber harvest when prices are low.”
I’d been concentrating on what I was saying, so I hadn’t paid much attention to my audience’s reaction. I looked up to see Granny, Big Mac and Apple Bloom with their mouths open in astonishment. I looked over at AJ and she looked poleaxed as well.
Finally Bic Mac swallowed and said, “That’s…that’s brilliant!”
As if that was a signal, I found myself surrounded by my new family, all talking at the same time.
“I knew you was clever, but I had no idea…” said Granny.
“My future brother-in-law is a genius!” said Apple Bloom, hugging me around the waist.
“Why didn’t we think of this before?” said Big Mac as he pounded me on the shoulder.
Applejack grabbed me from behind. “You did it again, you did it again!” she yelled as she squeezed my chest.
“Heh, ah, well, yes, I thought it a good plan,” I said as two Earth mares tried to squeeze me into thirds. “I’m very glad you all approve since I made the pact without asking the family first.”
“You keep thinking like that, Youngster, and you can make any pacts you please,” said Granny, sliding under my left leg and hugging my left side. “And it’s wonderful for Ma and the fillies, too! The fillies can go t’ school now if they want.”
“I do have t’ wonder, though,” said Granny as the family pulled away from me and went back to their usual positions, “how in Equestria did you get the Brickleback deed from that horrible mare? She’d take the coins from your eyes.”
I had no doubt Granny meant Lady Silver. The Equestria 10 bit coin had a unicorn stallion rampant on one side. I turned sideways, struck that pose, lit my horn and said, “Charisma!” That got a general round of laughter and applause, particularly from Granny and Apple Bloom who always loved a good show.
After a pause, Granny clapped her front hooves together. “C’mon, Family, like we practiced.” The Apples lined up on the far side of the room, Granny Smith first, then Big Mac, AJ and Apple Bloom. I had no idea what they were doing but knew it was something momentous.
“Ready?” said Granny, after taking a deep breath and looking over at the other Apples. She then turned to me.
“Amaryllis,” said Granny.
“William,” said Big Mac.
“Heather,” said my AJ.
“Fiorella,” finished Apple Bloom.
Their Private Names! The Apple Family was giving me their Private Names all at once, the ultimate expression of trust. I was deeply moved and felt a pair of tears track down my muzzle. I gave a full bow. “You do me a tremendous honor, Apples. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.” Each one of my family smiled at me as I raised from the bow.
I wiped my eyes and nose and thought it was a good thing I owned more than one clean handkerchief after the last few days. I wasn’t finished, though.
“Apples, I have no Private Name. I would ask you, my new family, to give me one.”
Granny, AJ and Big Mac looked surprised, but Apple Bloom just looked eager. Apple Bloom stood on her rear hooves, tugged on AJ’s left front leg and whispered something in her ear when AJ bent over. AJ’s expression showed she liked it, so she pulled Granny and Big Mac into another huddle. I could hear murmuring and then saw nods all around.
The Apples turned back around and Apple Bloom stepped forward. “Maker,” she said.
Ponies had a vast collection of what they called “mare’s tales” and what in my prior life we called “fairy stories.” A goodly number of them were about Maker Jack, a unicorn stallion mage and something of a Trickster similar to the American Indian Coyote. Maker Jack always made money no matter what he did, built strange contraptions from almost nothing and came up with convoluted schemes (which always worked) to punish the rude or the wicked. Sometimes he teased or fooled his friends as well just because he could. He also was a libertine with many mare conquests, none of which got him into trouble. “Maker” was an outstanding choice. I didn’t know until much later Apple Bloom and her friends called me that already.
I made a full bow again, then rose. “Thank you. From this day forth, my Private Name is Maker Ben.” I stood straighter. “And know this, Apples…no, know this, Family : I pledge my Life, my Fortune and my Sacred Honor to you and yours and swear I will never bring shame upon this house.” While I was talking, my horn started to glow, and when I finished a wave of magic spread out in a dark blue circle to envelope the Apples. It kept going until it reached the borders of the farm, then reflected back to return to me. The oath was a strong enough one the Magic Herself honored it. When a mage as powerful as I takes an oath, duck and cover, I tell you what. That was why mages almost never swore, even in jest.
My family watched in astonishment, then when they felt my love and sincerity, started laughing and crying at the same time. Before I knew it, I was buried in another Earth pony pile. I didn’t mind, though, since they were…family.
Harvest Festival
We are the music-makers,
“Poems for Mages and Mechanics”, The Equestrian Encyclopedia of General Knowledge
After a few minutes, we sorted ourselves out and planned the rest of our day. AJ would go with me to pick up the baler while Apple Bloom wanted to spend time with her friends at the Festival. Granny was more than happy to stay at home and go over the accounts one more time while Big Mac said he was going into town. He and I shared a meaningful look since “town” for Big Mac meant either the tavern or the spa. He and I were on an extremely short list of Very Important Ponies and the spa ponies treated us well. Very, very well. I went on occasion when I’d first moved to Ponyville but hadn’t been since I started Courting AJ. The mares didn’t know, of course, but I was sure Granny suspected. She never said a word about it, though.
AJ and I waved as we left the house, and then trotted toward the workshop. We traveled in a companionable silence, something I loved about AJ; she wasn’t a talker and knew the value of not saying anything most of the time. We stopped by the telegraph office first and I sent a telegram to Shining Armor while AJ waited outside:
NEED TO SEE YOU AND COUNCIL STOP ARRIVE ON AFTERNOON OF THIRD QUESTION MARK
BI
That done, we headed out of town.
We were almost to the workshop when I stopped a moment to listen to a groundhog cursing the hard ground as he tried to dig. I turned from listening and watched AJ walk away from me for a few strides. She looked back, saw what I was doing and twitched her tail back and forth as she shifted from hoof to hoof.
“Like what you see, Partner?” she said, batting her eyelashes.
In answer, I leapt forward and nipped her left croup. She squealed in surprise and kicked out, her hoof just missing the side of my head since I’d already dodged. I tore off down the road as fast as I could run and I could hear AJ’s hooves pounding behind me. I’d forgotten it was only two days after harvest, though, and AJ passed me like I was standing still. She jumped and turned in mid-air, landed facing me and then charged back in my direction. I just had time to slam to a stop when she tackled me.
For the third time today I somersaulted backwards twice and ended up with a mare on my chest.
“I’ll teach you to bite me in the butt, ya masher,” AJ said and started chewing on my neck. I wasn’t about to take that, so I locked my hooves behind her back and neck, then rolled her over and over until we were in a meadow next to the road. I ended up on top and we were both panting and laughing at the same time. As I stared down at her, I loved her more then than I thought it possible to love anypony. Not a One True Love, no, but a good, solid love. I kissed her as passionately as I could and put some of my new magic behind it; when a high-level mage kisses you, you know it, if I do say so myself.
AJ moaned and wrapped her front hooves around my neck. I didn’t want to get too chummy by the side of the road, so I broke it off. I hoped we could have some time together later, though.
“I love you, Heather,” I said, meaning every word.
“I love you, too, Maker Ben,” AJ answered, then kissed me on the nose. “Come on, Studly, let’s go get that baler.”
We got up and dusted ourselves off. AJ found that absurd hat of hers and we trotted on to the workshop. We refreshed ourselves, then I fired up the steam truck and hitched the flatbed to it. I asked AJ if she wanted to drive and when she agreed, I had her practice backing and parking the flatbed. She soon got the hang of turning the front wheels the opposite way she wanted to the flatbed to turn, so I hopped into the cab and we were on our way.
Brickleback Farm was about half an hour from the workshop when I took the steam vehicles, so it came into sight about an hour before noon. We steamed into the barnyard and there sat the baler, waiting for us to load it. AJ backed the flatbed expertly and I unwound the winch so I could hook it to the baler. I’d just hooked it up when out of the house burst the Brickle fillies with Ma Brickle right behind them. I thought they’d be in town by now for the Harvest Festival else I’d have knocked on the door first.
I had a few seconds to study the mares as they galloped toward me. The harvest had done the Brickle fillies as much good as the Apples and each had flowing manes and shining hides. Each wore a bow in their manes and tails, too, a different color for each filly.
“Greetings, Brick…” and once again I didn’t get to finish a sentence. Spring made it to me first and, just like Applejack this morning, picked me up and twirled me around. Spring was one sturdy mare, too, and could almost match Big Mac for strength but at least she didn’t squeeze like AJ. Fall made it to me next and, when Spring put me down, inserted herself under my right front leg even though she had to push since Spring still had both front hooves wrapped around me. Summer and little Winter piled on, Summer on the left and Winter on my back. I looked over and saw AJ grinning as she leaned against the flatbed.
All the Brickles were talking at once:
“Mr. Wizard, Mr. Wizard, Ma says you saved our farm…!!!”
“…can’t thank you enough, Mr. Inventor, Ma says the new baler…”
“…can I come visit you at the workshop? I want to watch you fix somethin’ with magic again…”
“…know Rarity? Oh, her dresses are so pretty. Ma says I can have one next year if the harvest…”
Ma Brickle trotted up a little more sedately but still moving faster than usual. “Fillies, fillies! Let the poor stallion get a word in edgewise! Fillies!!”
The Brickle fillies all broke off and lined up in front of me in age order. Ma raised a hoof, and then lowered it. “Thank you, Mr. Inventor,” they all said, except Winter, who said, “Thank you, Mr. Wizard!!” as loudly as she could yell.
How wonderful, I thought, how Alive these beautiful, splendid mares are. I shifted into healer mode for a moment so I could actually See their robust, glowing health. I thought for a split second of Lady Silver’s “filthy Earth ponies” comment, and then put her out of my mind.
“You’re welcome, Beautiful Young Mares. It has been my pleasure,” I answered and gave a half bow.
Ma came up next to me and put a hoof on my right shoulder. “I want t’ thank you too, Ben,” she said, looking at her fillies. “Thank you so much for everything you’ve done.”
I covered her hoof with my left one. “Not at all, Ma. As your new partner, I believe I got the best part of this deal, I tell you what.” I looked at the fillies as I said it and out of the corner of my eye saw Ma wipe away a couple of tears. I guessed she didn’t cry easily and when she did it was alone where nopony could see.
Ma snapped out of it and clapped both her front hooves together. “Who’s for lunch? Ben and Applejack, please join us.”
“The moment we have the baler secure, Ma. Five minutes, perhaps?”
“That’ll give us just enough time to get ready,” said Ma as she turned toward the house. The fillies shot forward at once and galloped toward the house after waving good-bye to me and AJ. I enjoyed their youthful exuberance.
“You got a way with th’ fillies, you surely do,” said AJ as she came up beside me.
“Haven’t you heard, fiancée? I’m irresistible.”
AJ just rolled her eyes and took her position at the winch.
We loaded the baler and chained down the wheels so it wouldn’t roll, then trotted to the house. Ma did indeed have lunch ready and a feast it was. Turnips, of course, but also carrots, cauliflower, cucumbers, some late pumpkins and on and on. She must have traded for it since she was too proud to take any donations. As always, I enjoyed watching the Earth ponies eat. The fillies had excellent table manners, actually better than my new family’s, so I hoped AJ was paying attention. The fillies chatted a mile a minute about the Festival while AJ, Ma and I just listened.
We finished soon enough since Earth ponies don’t leave food around for very long.
“Now, then,” I said as we all walked back to the baler. “Who would like a ride to the workshop?”
All the fillies did, of course, and even sedate Spring reared a little at the idea.
“Very good. Up, if you please, and make sure you don’t fall under the wheels. Ma? Are you not going into town?”
“No, thanks,” said Ma. “Let the young’uns enjoy themselves. They’ll spend the night with Widow Grass and walk back day after tomorrow.”
“Hmm, Widow Grass. We have to clean her flue later since some pony scheduled work for this afternoon,” I said, looking at Applejack pointedly. AJ just pretended to whistle and looked up at the sky. “So, Ma, what will you do?”
“Something I haven’t done in years, Ben, not since Jedidiah died.”
“And what, if I may ask, is that?”
Ma Brickle laughed a loud, long laugh and I could see the filly she once was. “Nothing! Nothing at all! Put up my hooves and just sit!”
AJ and I both grinned along with her. “Sounds very fine to me, Ma. Well, we’re off. Brickle fillies? All set?”
Spring, Summer and Fall were in place around the baler with their rear hooves hanging off the edge and waved their readiness to leave. Winter came up to me and wrapped her little front hooves around my left front leg.
“Can I ride with you and Miss Apple in th’ front? I’m scared I’ll fall and get squished.”
“May I ride…?” I corrected.
“May I ride…?”
“Of course, Winter,” I said as Spring and Fall rolled their eyes and Summer stuck out her tongue. “You can sit on my lap while Miss Apple drives.”
We all waved to Ma as we pulled away and headed for the workshop. I had Winter on my lap and she talked and talked and talked . AJ loved foals and knew exactly what to do, asking an occasional question and inviting Winter to spend some time with Apple Bloom at Sweet Apple Acres.
We were at the workshop by 12:30. The fillies hopped off the flatbed and AJ backed it next to the workshop loading dock. I used a touch of magic to roll the baler onto the dock and then into the back storage area. Most likely I’d work on it there since I had just enough room to take it apart and build another. I waved to AJ and she pulled around to the side and backed the flatbed into its garage, then parked the truck. The Brickles watched all of this avidly.
“I’ll finish up here, AJ. Would you show the fillies around and let them refresh themselves before they head into town?”
“Sure,” said the ever-agreeable AJ. She picked up Winter, called to the fillies and they all headed inside. I turned off the magical fire on the steam truck, vented the excess steam and oiled the piston rods and a few other moving parts. I was almost finished then I heard a TWEEEEEET . It was unmistakably a steam whistle and I thought for a moment I’d somehow set off the truck’s. Right away I realized the only thing it could be was the hot water heater. I’d adapted one of my old steam truck boilers as a magic fired hot water heater and left the steam whistle in place as a safety valve. If it was going off and the fillies were inside…
I dropped the oil can and raced to the front of the shop. I burst in through the front door only to find a very angry Spring and Summer glaring at Fall. Fall had withered under their stares and her whole body drooped. Tears were dripping down her muzzle onto my Baltimare carpet. Winter clung to Applejack and even AJ looked slightly annoyed.
“Oh, Fall!” yelled Spring. “I’ve a good mind to send you home right now !”
“Yeah!” said Summer. “Wait’ll Ma hears what you did. She’ll wear you out!”
“What happened, what happened?” I said, panting from my run. “Is anypony hurt?”
“No, Mr. Inventor, it was just Fall getting into her usual trouble,” said Summer, whacking Fall on the head with her hoof.
Fall looked up at me, her ears drooping, tears streaming down her muzzle and her nose running. “I didn’t mean to! I didn’t mean to do anything! Please don’t send me home!”
“You never mean to do anything, Fall, and still you wreck stuff,” said Summer. “Remember that punkin’ thrower you made?” Summer turned to me. “Fall pulled the whistle on your boiler, Mr. Inventor.” Poor Fall just sobbed louder and looked at the floor.
I somehow managed not to laugh and pulled yet another handkerchief out of my pouch. I was thankful I’d put in two clean ones before AJ and I left.
I tucked my legs under and knelt in front of Fall. I held her head in one hoof and wiped her eyes and nose with the handkerchief in the other. “Fall, that will do. You’re not hurt and neither are any of us.”
Fall looked up at me with those gorgeous amber eyes of hers as her sobs turned into sniffles. She’ll be a real beauty, this one, I thought. I held her under her chin and kept wiping. “It was just a safety valve for the water heater. Actually, I hadn’t tested it in some time, so you’ve done me quite the favor. Good to know it will work in case of a real emergency”
Fall finally stopped crying and her ears perked a little. “Yeah?” she sniffed.
“Yes, indeed. Testing is most important for a mechanic, you know. You always test your designs and your safety features. If they don’t work, you try something else.”
“Now, then, that’s over,” I said as gave Fall one final wipe. “Perhaps you’d like to clean up a bit in the bathroom?”
Fall nodded and trotted up the steps.
“I’m so sorry, Mr. Inventor,” said Spring. “We’ll go home now.” Spring looked disappointed and then angry. “Fall’s managed to ruin the fun for everypony.”
Apprentice her, said my Lady Magic.
My thoughts exactly, my Lady.
I’d stood and had one hoof against my mouth as if I were deep in thought.
“’Pumpkin thrower’, you say?” I asked Summer.
Summer nodded. “Made it out of some parts she found in the barn and tossed a punkin’ right through one of the parlor windows. I thought Ma would never stop fuming, she was so mad.”
Fall had come back from the bathroom and was doing the best she could to shrink into the floor.
“Ah, Fall, here you are. I’m going to ask you some questions and I want you to answer as best as you can, all right?”
“Uh…okay,” said Fall, still looking miserable.
“Here we go,” said AJ. “He’s got another one of his ideas.”
“A young filly buys 10 notebooks and 5 pens costing 2 bits each. How much did the filly pay?”
Fall’s eyes glazed for a moment. “Uh…30 bits?”
“More decisively, please.”
“30 bits,” said Fall without hesitation.
“Correct. The area of a rectangle is 24 square feet. The width is two less than the length. What is the length and width of the rectangle?”
“The length is 6 and the width is…ah, 4?”
“Good. A train leaves Canterlot at 7AM moving at 15 miles per hour, while a second train…” I asked Fall various questions for another 10 minutes or so. She was as brilliant as I expected, only missing a few. She was weak on metallurgy but it was just a lack of knowledge. She also had an instinctive grasp of torque, force and tensile strength which surpassed mine. Her sisters just stood and listened, wide-eyed, while AJ did the same with a slight smile.
When I finished, Fall had regained her usual slightly manic enthusiasm. I pretended to ponder again.
“Fall?”
“Yeah?”
“’Yes, sir,’” I corrected.
“Yes, sir?”
“Fall, how would you like to work here in the shop with me this Winter? We’ll make our first project building the two balers. We’ll have to get permission from your mother first, of course, but…”
Fall leapt forward and grabbed me around the waist. “YES! Yesyesyesyes! I’ll do it!”
“What?” said Spring. “You mean you actually want to have Fall around?”
I’d wrapped both front hooves around Fall since she didn’t seem likely to let go anytime soon. I could love this one like a daughter, I thought. To Spring I said, “Fall is a mechanical engineer, Spring. She has to build, experiment and create, else she’s miserable. I’d like to teach her.”
“She won’t blow up the farm or anythin’, will she?” said a dubious Summer.
I laughed as Fall pulled away. “No, Summer, just the opposite. A trained mechanic is invaluable on a farm. It’s only the untrained ones who get into trouble.”
“Well, I’ll be,” said Spring.
“And Ma must approve, or no apprenticeship no matter how much you may want it, Fall.”
Fall nodded frantically.
“Oh, she’ll approve,” said Spring, wryly. “She most certainly will.”
“Well, as soon as she does, we’ll work out the details, work hours, pay and so on,” I said.
“I get paid, too?” said an ecstatic Fall.
“You’re working, young mare, and providing a service, so yes, Not a great deal, but something.”
Fall stuck out her tongue at Spring and Summer.
“Young mare engineer apprentices do not stick out their tongues at others, Miss Brickle tertius ,” I said sternly.
“Sorry, Mr. Inventor,” although Fall looked anything but.
“Well, that’s settled. Now, then, off you fillies go to town. It would be a nice gesture if you stopped in to see the Widow Grass first to let her know you’re here.”
Spring and Summer both nodded.
“Hmm, do you have enough money?” I asked, trying to think of anything else the mares might need.
Spring and Summer looked at one another, then reached into their pouches. They each held out a 1 bit coin. Fall held out a ½ bit coin, a denomination I’d rarely seen. Winter just held out two empty hooves.
I cleared my throat. “Yes, well. I had a bit of a windfall the other day. Why don’t you take it?” I reached into my pouch and handed Spring and Summer a 10 bit coin each, then gave Fall and Winter a 5 bit coin each. Each filly looked as if I’d given them one of the Crown Jewels.
After a pause, Spring and Summer stepped to either side of me and kissed me on the muzzle at the same time. Fall pulled my head down for a kiss as well and Winter held up her front hooves until I lifted her up so she could kiss my nose.
“Thank you, Mr. Inventor,” Spring said, speaking for all the fillies. “You’re so good to us.”
“You’ve earned it, my hard-working mares. Now, as for you two,” I said, nodding to Spring and Summer, “take this to Rarity’s boutique.” I pulled out an index card and wrote a quick note. “She’ll take your measurements in case you want to order a dress from her later. You can talk fabrics and styles with her as well.” I looked at my curled right hoof. “I may have some influence with the dressmaker, by the way.”
The two mares looked at each other and squeed like schoolfillies, then started to giggle.
“Enough! Go!” I said, shooing them out the door.
“’Bye! Thank you again! ‘Bye, Mr. Inventor.” And away they galloped, AJ and I waving to them from the kitchen porch.
“And what was the ‘windfall’ you had the other day, Partner?” AJ asked as we came back inside.
“I don’t need one, AJ; I have you and that’s the only windfall I’ll ever need.”
“So sweeeet!” said AJ and, dewy eyed, kissed me on the muzzle.
On a streak today, I thought, pleased. “Let’s go get the wagon so we can start on those flues. Do you have any old burlap bags?”
“Hundreds,” said AJ, “and some new ones, too.”
“Old works since it’s just for the ash. We’ll take the sacks to City Hall so they can spread ash on the sidewalks when it snows. And we’ll charge them 2 bits per sack, too,” I said, rubbing my hooves together. “Here, let me get us some goggles and we’ll be on our way.”
And so we were. We headed to the first house from Sweet Apple Acres and started right in, AJ at the fireplace catching the ash and me on the roof, then switching off every other house. Even using magic, cleaning flues is a dirty business and by mid afternoon we were both as black as the Headless Horse except for our eyes where the goggles fit.
The Life and Times of Benjamin Inventor (Part 1)
Work and Relaxation
Roquet any other ball in play, but no more than once each a turn - unless your rover ball passes through a wicket (any wicket). Your rover, however, cannot roquet the same ball twice in succession, even if it passes through a wicket.
…
It is generally the misfortune of musical ponies to be such enthusiasts that they seldom know when to leave off. The listeners get fidgety and tired, although they are usually too polite to say so. A song now and then is very desirable, as it is a relief to conversation, but half a dozen consecutively becomes most tiresome.
“Country Festival Games & Activities”, The Equestrian Encyclopedia of General Knowledge
The Harvest Festival was in full swing and laughing ponies kept coming up to us to rub our flanks or shake our hooves so the good luck of a chimney sweep would rub off. In time-honored tradition, I chased down a few shrieking fillies and smothered them with kisses which of course covered them in soot, their grinning stallion escorts helping to rub it in after I finished. I looked very deliberately for Rarity so I could do the same to her but she never showed herself; I finally decided she’d gotten wind of what I was doing and stayed out of sight.
Our last stop was the Widow Grass, an old Earth mare around Granny’s age with exquisite manners who used to teach deportment. We cleaned her flue which certainly needed it and she gave us two jars of her wonderful sour pickles in payment. I thanked her as we rolled up the long cloth we carried so we wouldn’t track soot in our customers houses. A smiling Widow Grass gently touched both our flanks for luck as we were leaving and that woke my healer sense. I was shocked when I checked her and had trouble holding my own smile as we waved good-bye.
We dropped the bags at City Hall, then used the spa’s outdoor shower to get off the worst of the soot. The spa ponies Lotus Blossom and Aloe both came out and enjoyed hosing us down, taking particular and I thought unnecessary pleasure in turning the hose on my nose, ears, bottom and underside. When they finished, they led us inside so we wouldn’t freeze, soaped us up again, rinsed us and then toweled us off. AJ and I both spoke their language and we had an enjoyable talk as they dried us. When I’d first come to Ponyville, the spa was about to go under. I’d invested 3,000 bits for improvements and remained a very silent partner; not even AJ knew. I kept reinvesting the dividends and was proud of what the diligent spa ponies had accomplished. During the final drying, I thought I saw Big Mac in one of the back rooms but it was just a glimpse so I wasn’t sure.
Clean and dry, we dropped off the wagon at Sweet Apple Acres, had a quick bite to eat and then trotted back to the workshop. I’d gotten a taste of the festival and didn’t need to go and AJ said she didn’t need to go, either. I was glad since I wanted to spend some time with just her, particularly after the last few days.
“AJ?” I said about 10 minutes from the shop. We had some of our best talks walking back and forth from the farm to the shop.
“Hmm?” AJ was watching the Sun set.
“The Widow Grass is dying.”
“What!?!” said AJ, astonished. “Why, she looked fine to me if a little thin.”
“No, she’s failing. She’s not eating enough. At this rate, she won’t last the Winter.”
AJ looked grim and became grimmer still when she pulled one of the jars of pickles out of her pouch. “And here she is, a’givin’ away food. Granny’s tried to give her food before, but she won’t take anything.”
“It’s not that she doesn’t have the food, AJ, she’s just not eating it. She doesn’t see the point any longer. She’s alone and has no purpose.”
AJ looked surprised, then nodded sadly.
“As you said, the Brickles don’t have much, but they do have each other. And even the Brickles…” and I stopped dead.
“Here we go again,” said AJ, smiling.
“Let me think on it a few minutes, AJ. Say, want a massage?”
“Sure!”
We’d just reached the kitchen door when a little pony wearing a messenger uniform raced up. His hide was covered with brown spots and he had a shock of brown mane.
“Telegram for Mr. Inventor,” he said, handing me an envelope.
I handed him a 2 bit coin. “Thank you…Pippin, isn’t it?”
“You can call me ‘Pip’, sir. And thank you!” Away he raced. For such a little pony, he was as fast as the Wind. No wonder the telegraph office used him for deliveries.
I opened the telegram as AJ lighted the gas lamps in the kitchen and study.
COUNCIL MEETS AT 3 STOP TAKE FIRST TRAIN WILL MEET YOU AT STATION 1:30 STOP
SA
I put the telegram in my pouch, then took the pouch off and set it by the door on a table I had just for that. To AJ’s questioning look, I said, “I have to make a quick trip to Canterlot. I’ll stay the night and be back on 4th.” If I survive, I thought to myself.
AJ just nodded. She’d already learned when not to ask questions which I certainly appreciated. AJ pulled an old blanket out of a cedar chest, lit the gas logs and settled in front of the fireplace. I rarely used the fireplace since the heated floors kept the whole place warm but sometimes like now I enjoyed a fire.
I got the massage oil, sweat scraper and some old towels, then undid AJ’s ribbons and started on her muscular back and rear legs. I used magic along with my hooves and the combination was very effective. I leaned over and nibbled her left ear every once and awhile, too, and soon AJ was making that purring hum of hers. It was similar to the sound a pegasus made but subtly different. I’d wondered if all Earth ponies did it and decided I’d have to find out.
“Flip,” I said when I finished her back.
AJ turned over and I worked on her front and rear leg muscles. She was in superb shape but had pulled both rear inner thigh muscles bucking so many apples, so I checked those, then massaged out a couple of knots. I indulged in some long, open-mouthed kisses as well and soon we were both covered in massage oil. Very sensual, that was.
I finished up and while AJ showered off, I put the towels and old blanket in the laundry hamper with all the dirty handkerchiefs. I made a note on my chalk board to drop off all of it at the laundry tomorrow and then showered myself.
I came back downstairs to the study. AJ had turned off the gas lamps and was facing the fire. I joined her and she settled against my right side which was fast becoming our favorite position. We rubbed noses, and then went back to staring at the fire. Earth ponies didn’t have active magic but I had a theory they were inherently magical, hence the glowing health after harvest and their ability to grow almost anything. Whatever it was, my magic reveled in it and I felt as close to AJ as it was possible for anypony to get to another. I could even Feel when she was happy, sad, annoyed and so on. She was certainly happy now, I tell you what.
“Fall will be a fine apprentice,” I said. “I’d planned to have her come a few days a week and take her home each day, but it would be far more efficient to have her live here most of the Winter. Naturally, Ma would let her but some other ponies might raise their eyebrows at a young filly living with a vibrant, handsome and extremely appealing bachelor unicorn whether he was Courting or no.”
AJ gave a small chuckle at my description of myself.
I went on. “Fall needs constant attention which, through no fault of her own, Ma couldn’t give her. Hard to raise a filly when you’re trying not to starve, after all. And since I’ve needed a housekeeper for quite some time…”
“You keep house better than I do,” said AJ sleepily.
“…for quite some time,” I repeated firmly, “I’m going to ask Emerald Grass to come and live here for the Winter. As you’ve seen, Fall could use some refinement and a calm gentlemare like Widow Grass is just the teacher Fall needs. Widow Grass will act as chaperone and companion to Fall, too. They can each have their own bedroom since I have the two spares. And Widow Grass will have a purpose again as well as the company. What do you think?”
My answer was a light snore.
As fascinating as I am, I thought, when the Sun goes down my farmer fiancée falls asleep. Eh, well. I hope she’ll stay awake a little longer on our wedding night.
I tied AJ’s ribbons back on her mane and tail, lifted her onto my back, put her pouch around my neck, put her hat on my head and headed back to Sweet Apple Acres.
I trotted through the crisp Fall night, my breath steaming. I was almost to Sweet Apple Acres when I heard laughter above me. I looked up to see a great horned owl circling overhead.
“And what, may I ask, is so funny, Silent Hunter of the Night?” Those honorifics were really something.
“Whoo-hooo,” he laughed. “Yooou look like you’re wearing a pony as a coat.”
I laughed myself and started to answer but he had had flown silently away. I’d never noticed just how many animals were around me every day until I could understand them.
I quietly opened the kitchen door and crept through the parlor. Granny who had been asleep in her rocker heard me, though.
“Whaazzat? Who’s there?”
“It’s just me, Granny. I’m going to put AJ to bed.”
“Oh, how precious!” Granny said, wide awake now and looking at the sleeping Applejack. “She always was a sound sleeper. Her Daddy used to carry her up to bed just like that.” Granny sighed, then laughed a little. “Oh, to be young and in love again. The times Seed Starter and I had!”
Hmm, Seed Starter must have been her husband. “Now, Granny, that’s no way to talk. I know two stallions of a certain age in the Stable of Commerce who’d love to spend time with you, particularly during Spring Planting.”
“Oh, pshaw, Youngster, how you do go on!” Granny said. The light was dim since Granny hadn’t lit a lantern yet but I thought she was blushing. “Now, go on, put her to bed.”
I grinned at Granny, put AJ to bed just like before and then came back downstairs. Granny had a couple of lanterns lit and they gave a warm glow to the parlor.
“Granny, I have to go to Canterlot tomorrow for the day but will return on 4th. I’ve already told Applejack.”
“Sure, Son, do what’s needed.” Granny paused for a moment, then got out of her rocker, came over to me and took my left hoof in her right. “I want to thank you, Maker, for bein’ so good to Applejack. She’s happier than I’ve ever seen her. And I know it’s a strain on a stallion, a’waitin’ for the wedding to be together. I was young once, too, you know, and some ponies nowadays don’t follow the Old Ways. It’s important, though, I can tell you that. Not sure why, exactly, but magic A is magic A, you know? Besides,” Granny said, smiling that gentle smile of hers, “I waited and it didn’t kill me.”
I felt a rush of love for the sweet old mare. I took Granny’s right hoof in both of mine and kissed it. She tasted like root cellar apples which was certainly far better than Lady Silver’s moldy taste.
“Granny, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you and the family,” I said, “and AJ is most certainly worth the wait.”
“Thank you, Maker, thank you so much.”
“Well, Granny, I’m off.” I released Granny’s hoof, stepped forward, kissed either cheek and touched her nose with mine.
“Been around a pegasus, lately, have you?” she said, patting my muzzle.
“Yes, ahem, well… I’ll see everyone on 4th.” Maybe.
“We’ll see you then, Youngster,” Granny said, waving me out the door.
I waved back and headed to the workshop. As I trotted through the perfect, glorious, wonderful Fall evening, I sang at the top of my lungs:
Largo al factotum della città, largo!
La la la, la la la, la la la, laaaaa!
Presto a bottega, che l'alba è già, presto!
La la la, la la la, la la la, laaaaa!
Ah, che bel vivere, che bel piacere… che bel piacereeee
Per un barbiere…di qualità! di qualità!
Ah, bravo Figaro! Bravo, bravissimo, bravo!
La la la, la la la, la la la, laaaaa!
Fortunatissimo per verità, bravo!
La la la, la la la, la la la, laaaaa!
I passed a couple of foxes who were well enough hidden I couldn’t see them.
“Ponies certainly are loud, aren’t they?”
“Yes, but at least this one can carry a tune.”
I laughed out loud. Everypony’s a critic, I thought, and then headed home.
The Magic Council
Artificers & Ponies of low Degree ought not to use many ceremonies to Lords, or Others of high Degree but Respect and highly Honor them, and those of high Degree ought to treat them with affability & Courtesy, without Arrogance.
“Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation”, Appendix A, The Equestrian Encyclopedia of General Knowledge
I woke up at Sunrise on the 3rd, ran through a couple of katas, played through scales on the piano, had a bite to eat and put an “Out of Town, Back 4th” sign on the front door. I packed my saddlebags, made sure I had some cash, then gathered up my dirty laundry and headed into town. On the way, I talked to my Lady Magic.
My Lady?
Guardian?
I have to go before the Council, my Lady.
I know, Guardian. But if they try and kill you, I will intervene.
My Lady, You mustn’t. If You interfere, You’ll break the Arch of Time (I wasn’t sure how I knew that, but I was certain of it). Besides, if You destroy the Council, the alicorns will come for me and I could not win. They would destroy the World to stop a rogue mage. Either way, this World would end.
Lady Magic went quiet but didn’t leave me, not quite yet.
I won’t tell them about You, my Lady, but if the Baroness does a Reading, she’ll see You in my memories.
Lady Magic gave a sort of sigh. Very well, but only she must know, Guardian.
Yes, my Lady. I believe I’ll survive, but if the Council decides otherwise, You must accept it.
Very well, She said, and She was gone.
I stopped by the laundry and tossed my bag to the waiting mare who waved as she tossed it further into the steam. I waved back, then headed for the station. The first train out was at 7 which gave me about 20 minutes.
I got to the platform with 15 minutes to spare and went to look at the waiting engine. It was another 4-4-0 but this one was from the Fillydelphia Iron Works . It wasn’t quite as good a quality as the Hoofington engine I ridden to the Gala and I guessed it would need new fire tubes in a couple of months.
“Hey! You! Unicorn! What’re you doin’?”
I turned to see a stocky Earth pony in blue striped coveralls wearing an engineer’s hat. Unlike most engineers, his coveralls fit perfectly and were even starched. He was carrying a good size open-ended wrench.
“Are you the engineer? I was just noticing the differences between this and…”
“Well, notice somewhere else! This is my engine and I want you to stay away from it!”
A very young Earth pony stuck his head out of the cab. “Uh, Mr. O’Malley…?”
“Shaddap!” the engineer snapped at the firepony. He turned back to me. “And you, unicorn, mind your own business!”
Hmm. I nodded and said, “I meant no offense. Please excuse me.” I took a step back, then started to walk around the fuming engineer.
As I passed on his left, he muttered, “Stupid unicorns, always nosin’ around.” I just kept walking but smelled a strong scent of ale. Had a few, I thought. I felt a rather sharp poke in my side.
“Hey! Tell me you’re sorry for botherin’ me,” said the angry engineer.
I turned around to face him. “My apologies, Mr…O’Malley, is it?”
“Who said you could use my name!! Did I say you could use my name?!? You unicorns think ‘cause you’re magic you can just do anything to anypony. Well, not today, pal!!”
O’Malley stepped toward me, raising the wrench over his head. I taught my students if you’re unarmed and faced with an armed opponent, even if all they have is a stick, you have three choices:
1) Leave
I started to do just that when my Lady Magic said, Stay! Oh, swell, I thought, but I stayed.
O’Malley brought the wrench down and I stepped a half step to the side. I felt the wrench clip my ear which stung like the Lord of Hel. O’Malley, off balance to start with, stumbled and fell flat. The wrench clanged on the concrete and skittered away.
I waited as O’Malley slowly got to his hooves. He turned around and was in a blind fury. Another couple of rules I’d taught my students were “Never fight angry since you’ll lose” and “Never fight intoxicated since you’ll lose.”
“I’ll kill you,” roared O’Malley and charged with both hooves raised.
The engineer was left hooved, so as he swung I shifted my body back and to the left, deflected his punch with the back of my left hoof, grabbed his left leg with my left and right hoof and, using his own momentum, twisted from the waist and tossed him away from me (Grasping the Sparrow's Tail, I thought). He sailed through the air, his face a study in surprise, and slammed into one of the platform’s wooden columns. He slowly slid down it and then was still.
I let out a breath and heard running hooves behind me. I turned to find the station master and a burly Earth pony conductor who would have given Big Mac a run for his money racing around the side of the station. Both were carrying stout clubs and looked like they meant business.
“Here, now, what’s all this, then?” said the station master, looking at his unconscious engineer. The conductor, meanwhile, kept a close eye on me.
“Uh…Uncle Seamus?” It was the firepony who was trembling. “Mr. O’Malley, he just…he tried to kill this unicorn,” he said, pointing a shaking hoof at me. The station master, whose name I remembered was Seamus Martin, just huffed out a breath and lowered his club. The conductor did the same.
“You all right, Mr. Inventor?” the station master asked, rather sadly.
“I’m fine, Station Master. Unfortunately I had no choice.”
“I know, I know. Tomas, here,” and he pointed his club at the engineer, “well, his daughter ran off with a couple of unicorn traveling salesponies on 1st and hasn’t been heard from since. He’s all tore up about it an’ likely tried to take it out on you.”
Unicorn traveling salesponies? Odd there were two. And here I was working day and night to make ponies less fearful of magic users. Most annoying, I thought.
Seamus gestured with his club again and the conductor picked up O’Malley like he weighed nothing at all, put him on his back, picked up the wrench and headed back to the station house.
“You...wanna file a complaint, Mr. Inventor?” asked the station master rather tentatively. He also looked around nervously to make sure none of the passengers saw the dust-up. We were far enough ahead of the passenger cars I doubted they’d even noticed.
“About what, Station Master?”
That earned me a quick grin and Seamus visibly relaxed. Then he gritted his teeth. “Shoot! This means I’ll hafta get another engineer from Canterlot to run the 7 o’clock. That’ll put us almost seven hours behind schedule.”
“I can run her up, Mr. Martin, if you like.”
“Say, that’s right! You’re kinda mechanical-like, aren’t you, Mr. Inventor?”
“Kinda,” I answered.
“Uh…I really should tell Head Office…shouldn’t I?”
“Now, now, no need to bother them about this,” I said, waving a hoof. “Is Roundhouse on duty? I got to know him going back and forth to the Gala and he’s very good. He lives in Canterlot, I think.”
“You just wait one minute and I’ll check!”, said the station master. He raced off to the office to check the work schedule and was back a couple of minutes later. “It’s Roundhouse’s day off but I’ll send him a telegram to meet you at the station to take her on t’ Baltimare.”
“That’s settled, then. Time?”
The station master checked his watch. “6:56. Leave in four.”
“On it, Station Master,” I said and headed for the hog.
“Oh, and Mr. Inventor,” Seamus said. I turned back. “Thank you, sir. You’ve saved a good railroader’s livelihood. And maybe mine, too.”
I waved my hoof again and jumped into the cab. The poor firepony was still shaking.
“M..m..mm…mr. O’Malley, he..e’s not like that, sir, he’s really not…”
I put my hoof on his shoulder and used a touch of calming magic. “It’s fine, son, it’s over now. He was upset and I was closest. Happens in families, too, yes?”
The young Earth pony stopped shaking and gave me a tentative smile.
“Now, then, let’s see what we have here,” I said, as I looked over the controls. Yes, standard layout: steam chest pressure gauge, manifold isolation valve, boiler pressure gauge, Johnson bar, brakes, throttle. I could drive this. “And who may I ask is my firepony?” I asked as I looked over the engine.
“Timothy Martin, sir.”
“Very good, Timothy. I’m Benjamin Inventor,” I said as I stuck my head out of the cab and saw the huge conductor wave as the station clock struck 7. “’Board!” he called, then hopped on the last car.
“Here we go!” I said.
I pushed the Johnson bar forward, opened the cylinder cocks, turned on the headlight, gave two toots on the whistle, released the brake and then slowly inched the throttle forward. My firepony knew his business and kept stoking the boiler until the steam pressure leveled off. The engine gave a slight lurch as it picked up the load and then huffed out of the station. I kept adjusting the throttle, leaning out to watch the track. I was pretty sure I knew where the crossings were, but I didn’t want to miss any this close to town. There were no water stops, so at least I didn’t have to worry about that.
After several miles, I moved the Johnson bar to the company notch and relaxed a little; she’d run to Canterlot on her own, now. I adjusted the throttle to 30 mph which Roundhouse had told me was the safest track speed between Ponyville and Canterlot. Different from running freight since you were responsible for passengers and their welfare. I sat back in the engineer’s chair with a sigh of relief.
“Mr. Inventor?”
“Timothy?”
“You coulda killed Mr. O’Malley, couldn’t you?”
Still on that, were we? “Yes, Timothy, I could have.”
“And you didn’t even use magic. You coulda used magic, couldn’t you?”
“Yes, according to the First Law, I could have. And injured or killed Mr. O’Malley that way as well since he attacked with a weapon and I was unarmed.”
“Gosh.” Timothy pondered a moment. “Why didn’t you, then? Kill him, I mean?”
One pony at a time, I thought. “Timothy, mages or trained martial artists protect and serve the non-magical and those ponies who are weaker than they.” I went on to give the standard lecture I gave my students in the Guard about judicious use of force and their responsibility; the more skilled they became, the more responsibility they had to protect others. Wolves, sheep and sheepdogs. My students were the sheepdogs. Part of the price and if they wouldn’t pay it, then they had no place in my class. I never had a student refuse, though, which gave me great pride. They lived it outside of class, too.
Timothy asked a few more questions, then wanted to talk about mares which was a less weighty and far more lively topic. He was a good listener and after the usual “what type do you like” questions, I found myself going on and on about the Courtship, the various Rules and following the Old Ways. Before I knew it, Canterlot came into sight. I brought the train into the station at 1:26, easing back on the throttle and then slowly setting the brake as the passenger cars aligned with the depot markings. She glided to a stop as I blew steam out the front cylinders. Very smooth, I thought, and let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.
After the train stopped, I turned to my firepony.
“Timothy, it’s been a pleasure,” I said, shaking the young stallion’s hoof.
“Thanks, Mr. Inventor, for talking to me. Most of the other railroaders treat me like a foal.”
“Not after this run, they won’t!” I said, laughing.
I waved goodbye and hopped down from the cab. There stood Roundhouse, grinning like a possum.
“Not bad, not bad, Mr. Wizard,” he said as he shook my hoof. “Not bad for a newbie hogger. We’ll hafta promote you from piglet now.”
I laughed along with him. “I’ll let you take it from here, Roundhouse, shall I? You’ve got a first rate firepony, too,” I said as Timothy waved from the cab. “By the way, do you know a place nearby where I can stay? I want to catch an early train in the morning.”
“Shooooot, you can stay at my place, Mr. Inventor. Th’ key is under the mat and food is in the icebox.” Roundhouse gave me directions. “If you throw a party with a bunch of mares, just clean up after yourself, alright?” he said, roaring with laughter and pounding me on the back.
Heh, Earth ponies, I thought. “Thank you, Roundhouse, I accept your offer. And no, no parties, just sleep and I’m on my way.”
I’d noticed Shining Armor further down the platform watching the passengers getting off. “I see my friend, so I’d best go meet him. She’s all yours,” I said, pointing to the hog.
Roundhouse became serious and gripped my left shoulder with his right hoof. “Us railroaders can’t thank you enough, Mr. Wizard. You saved Tomas’ job and maybe the station manager’s, too. HO don’t take too well to engineers beatin’ on paying passengers.”
“But, Roundhouse, you said it yourself. I’m a hogger now, not a passenger.”
“Hah, so you are, so you are!” he said, grinning. “Well, I’m almost watered up and we’re gone at 1:45. Thanks again, Mr. Wizard.”
“Keep it in the eighth notch, Roundhouse.”
He waved and headed for the cab while I walked toward Shining Armor. He hadn’t seen me yet and I got to look him over before he saw me. My friend looked very good, fit and healthy. Being engaged had been as good for him as it was for me and I planned to tell him so.
I stopped a few feet from Shining Armor, braced and saluted just as he saw me.
“General,” I said. Shining Armor got his first Sun a couple of weeks ago.
Shining Armor turned to me and returned the salute. “Lieutenant.”
I lowered my salute, stepped forward and shook hooves. Our magical fields intertwined and melded, glad to see one another again. It had been months and I’d missed Carl more than I thought.
“How are you, Ben?” said Shining Armor, releasing my hoof.
“Pretty good. Looks like getting engaged to the Princess of Love agrees with you.”
“Yeah, she’s alright,” Shining Armor said as we turned and walked toward the city. “You’ve gotten yourself engaged, too, I hear.”
“Yeah, she’s alright,” I said and we both had a good, long laugh.
“Hey, could we stop by the Department of Commerce before we have a visit?” I asked.
“The what?”
“The Department of Commerce.”
“I guess. What do you want to do there?”
“I’m going to submit a petition for a charter to open a bank in Ponyville.”
“Well, aren’t you the wheeler-dealer? Sure, it’s this way.”
Fortunately dropping off the petition only took a few minutes. Shining Armor and I trotted on, catching up, talking about the Guard and of course the various merits of our mares. I proudly told him my new Private Name and he was delighted with it. We ended up in this out-of-the-way park I knew about where the Guard used to take mares on a second or third date. There was nopony there this time of day which was what I wanted.
Shining Armor stopped and sat on a bench. “So, what’s this all about?” he asked.
“Watch,” I said, and called up my magic ball.
Shining Armor was off the bench faster than I could see and the dirk he always carried appeared in his right hoof. “By the Lord of Hel’s minions!” he yelled. He was shaking, too, and he wasn’t an easy pony to rattle.
I doused my magic, then sat down on the bench. Shining Armor took several deep breaths, then looked down at the dirk in his hoof.
“Sorry,” he said, putting it back in the sheath. He sat down next to me and took a few minutes to settle. “’Maker Ben’, indeed,” he finally said. “Ben, you’re more powerful than Cadence and almost as powerful as Herself. How in the name of the Magic did you end up like this?”
“I’m sorry, Carl, I’m really sorry. I can’t tell you, at least, not yet. As soon as I can, I will, I promise. I’m still me, though.”
Shining Armor blew out a breath. “I know, but that won’t satisfy Lady Dragon.” “Lady Dragon” was the Baroness Astrid Gräfin von Horsenberg, E.O.M., lieutenant general of the Royal Guard and second in command of the entire country. She was the one who ran the place when Tia and I highed off to Stableside. She came up with some very innovative punishments for a couple of misbehaving Guards as well, hence the unflattering nickname. Respected, feared, even trusted but not much liked. I’d never met her, only heard the stories.
“Mmm.”
“Maker, I’ll stick by you no matter what, you know that, right?”
I reached out and gripped his right hoof with mine. “I know,” I said, letting go and facing forward again.
“But, Maker…I…well, if the Council…” Carl looked miserable while he was talking and finally just stopped. I knew what he meant, though. If the Council decided to slit my throat, he’d have to help.
“Carl, you’re one of the best friends I’ve ever had. I also know you’re a decent and honorable stallion. That’s the main reason Herself trusts you with Cadence.”
Shining Armor reached out a hoof and put it against my right shoulder. I could feel his anger and divided loyalties, his love for me and his love for the Guard, all mixed together. And ponies wonder why unicorns bow all the time without touching, I thought.
“I won’t do it, I won’t! I won’t kill you, I won’t, I don’t care if it is the Council!”
Without looking at him, I put my left hoof over his right. “Yes, you will,” I said. “And if they demand it, I’ll let you. Better you than some stranger.”
“Maker, I swear,” he said, blowing out a breath and taking his hoof down. Carl gave me that famous half grin of his. “Why it is you always put my tail in a knot?”
I laughed, relieved to have my friend with me. “Me? Who rescued whom when Cadence almost caught him with that little waitress filly?”
“Hahahahah! She never did find out about that. Whew, if she did…” Carl stopped and looked thoughtful, then perked his ears at a nearby clock tower. “It’s 2:30. Are you ready?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I said and we headed for the Magic Council Chambers.
The Council had its own imposing building which had stood for centuries. One of Equestria’s oldest institutions, unicorns founded the Magic Council after the first treaty negotiations. The Council’s job was to punish magic users who violated the Four Mage Laws. In a more benign role, the Council also tested young unicorns for magic and occasionally gave out awards to good students. Twilight had something or other but I couldn’t remember what; almost no one other than relatives attended the awards ceremonies.
Violate the First Law and you’d end up magicless for three months. Do it again and it was six months. There was no third time. And that was for mares; stallions got zero chances. It had been twenty years since the Council had executed a unicorn but it wouldn’t hesitate if it thought a magic user could go rogue. Most stallions weren’t powerful enough for the Council to notice.
Until now.
We walked up the guarded front and stopped at a gated reception desk. I handed over my saddlebags and pouch since the Council forbad petitioners from wearing anything at all. Carl got to keep his dirk which was a high honor.
We walked up the marble steps together, hooves echoing against the vaulted ceiling. The architecture was severe on purpose to intimidate those who had the see the council. I admired the workmanship and wondered if the mare who had fixed the pillars after the Gala had worked on any supports here. We stopped in front of the Council chamber which was behind these enormous bronze doors. We waited a few minutes until the Council clock chimed a doleful 3 and the doors opened slowly by themselves. Beautiful balance, I thought, since I estimated the doors weighed two tons each. I’d like to talk to the pony who set those hinges.
We walked into a circular room with a dozen floor-to-ceiling windows, bare except for a raised dais against the far wall. Three mare unicorns were seated there, Lady Dragon in the slightly raised center seat. The other two mares I didn’t know but they looked like they were used to giving commands.
Shining Armor and I gave a full bow in perfect unison.
“Rise,” said Lady Astrid.
We stood.
“Who would seek the wisdom of the Council?” said the mare on the right.
I stepped forward. “Lieutenant Second Class Benjamin Maker Inventor of the Royal Guard and Servant of the Crown.” I still got a thrill out of using my new Private Name, even in this place.
“Who stands as witness to this unicorn?” said the mare on the left.
“I do,” said Shining Armor.
“The Council acknowledges Benjamin Inventor and his witness, Shining Armor, Brigadier General of the Royal Guard. What say ye?” said the mare on the right again.
Built by unicorns, staffed by unicorns and with magic worked within its walls each day, the Council building was steeped in magic. Ordinary unicorns could cast spells in the Chamber which were beyond them most other places. I looked back at Carl and he nodded. I took a deep breath and called up my magic ball, only this time I didn’t hold back anything.
CRAAACKHUMMMMMM!! My magic filled the Council chamber, resonating off the walls and setting up a faint, keening vibration in the windows. I felt my eyes go white, too, and my mane flowed out on either side of me. I had no doubt I looked like I came straight from the Lord of Hel himself.
The mare on the right knocked over her chair, splayed herself against the wall and started to scream. The other mare ducked down underneath the council bench and all I could see of her was her horn sticking up. Lady Dragon was made of sterner stuff but even she pushed herself back from the council bench and kept both her front legs straight out in front of her. Well, that’s done it, I thought.
Lady Astrid yelled something but the hum made it too loud to hear. I decided to err on the side of caution and cut off my magic as if I’d thrown a switch. That showed good control, at least. I saw Carl shivering out of the corner of my eye but he’d stood by me just like he said.
The silence was deafening, an expression I’d always heard but never understood until just that moment. I did some T’ai Chi breathing and waited. The mare on the right was still giving gasping little screams, but soon caught her breath, picked up her chair and sat down. The one on the left peered over the edge of the council bench, then slowly emerged and sat down as well. Lady Dragon very deliberately dragged her wheeled chair forward until she could prop her chin on her hooves.
“So, Lieutenant,” she said, her clear, icy blue eyes boring a hole in me, “how did this happen?”
I stood and said nothing.
“Lieutenant, that was not a rhetorical question. How did you gain this much power? You will explain yourself to this Council at once.”
“My Lady, I cannot,” I said.
“’Can not’ or ‘will not’?” asked Lady Astrid.
I nodded at the correction. “Will not, my Lady.”
I thought Lady Astrid was fierce before but it was nothing compared to her expression now. “Oh, you will, Lieutenant, and at once or you won’t see outside of this chamber ever again.” Lady Astrid lit her horn, and her eyes glowed a beautiful sky blue. The other two mages lit theirs and a low hum filled the chamber. I looked around at Carl. He’d lit his horn, too, and I saw the familiar color I knew so well. He also had his dirk out and the point was against my side; one wrong move from me and he’d gut me like a griffon guts a steer. His ears were flat to his skull, tears were running down his muzzle and pooling on the marble floor but his dirk was as solid as a rock as his anguished eyes looked into mine.
Lady Astrid’s magic was as perfect and precise as a sword blade. Exquisite, I thought. I’m stronger, yes, but her years of practice would overcome me eventually. Amazing. Well, nothing for it.
“My Lady,” I said, raising my voice so everypony could hear it over the hum, “I humbly petition the Council’s forbearance and ask for a Private Reading.”
Lady Astrid snapped off her magic and stared at me again. The other unicorns followed and it was quiet enough I heard Carl slide his dirk back into its sheath. She could see I meant it, too; I’d take her down and the entire building with me if I must but I hoped it wouldn’t come to that.
“Very well. Council and witness will please clear the chamber,” said Lady Dragon and stood.
“My Lady, no!” “It’s too dangerous, My Lady! He could kill you.” Both of the other unicorns spoke at once.
“Council and witness will please clear the chamber. I will not ask again,” said Lady Astrid, looking from side to side.
The two mares reluctantly left the dais and walked out the bronze doors which again opened silently by themselves. Carl put a hoof on my shoulder as he turned (a slight breach of protocol) and then left as well. The bronze doors shut with a faint boom and it was just me and Lady Astrid. She came around from behind the dais and I got my first good look at her. She was as exquisite as her magic, slightly taller than most unicorns and in outstanding physical shape. She was a 20 years or so younger than Granny and her mane had silvered slightly but you could still see the red amongst the grey. Her coat was the lightest possible tan and her cutie mark was one of those abstract ones I’d never seen before. Most decidedly one of a kind all the way around, I thought. Just gorgeous.
Lady Astrid touched the seal in the room’s center and a magical field snapped into place. Until she and only she released it, nothing could get in or out.
“Thank you, my Lady,” I said, giving a full bow as she stopped in front of me. “I would also ask for your personal seal as well.”
“Do not push me any further this day, young stallion,” Lady Dragon snapped. “I’ve half a mind to censure you right now.”
“Forgive my impertinence, my Lady, but some of the secrets I know are not mine to tell; they are under the Royal Seal.”
Lady Astrid didn’t look happy, but finally said, “Oh, very well. You have my personal seal.” That meant Lady Astrid could only give her opinion to the Council but couldn’t tell them anything else about our Reading.
“Thank you, my Lady,” and rose from my bow.
“You are ready?” she asked me, those eyes boring into my skull again.
“My Lady, I am.”
With no further ceremony, Lady Astrid reached out her right hoof and, more gently than I expected, put it against the left side of my head.
“My magic to your magic, my thoughts to your thoughts, my mind to your mind,” she said, using a Most Secret and the most dangerous of spells. If I were malicious, I could have killed her at any time unless she was very careful indeed. The spell worked both ways, too, so she not only saw my inner self but I got to see hers. Even the most intimate of unicorn lovers would never cast this spell; it was simply too invasive and could break your mind if you used it improperly.
The Life and Times of Benjamin Inventor (Part 1)
Friends Old and New
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
“Poems for Young Stallions”, The Equestrian Encyclopedia of General Knowledge
I found myself rushing down a long tunnel and ended up in a beautiful, white bedroom. Clearly a filly’s room, there was an abundance of pink ribbons, a canopy bed and wide windows which were letting in a soft Spring breeze. Next to a couple of stuffed animals was a tiny little filly, I guessed three or four years old. She had a flaming red mane and was wearing a frilly white frock. She was crying over something.
The door opened and in walked a stately unicorn mare. She looked exactly like Lady Astrid except for clear green eyes. Astrid’s mother, I thought. The stately mare walked over to the little filly, pulled her to her hooves and then slapped her across the muzzle, twice: crack, crack! “You are a von Horsenberg,” said Lady Astrid’s mother to the little filly, “you will show weakness to nopony.”
The scene changed in a rush of sights, sounds and smells. Lady Astrid was a teenager and the ideal of a unicorn mare. She was in fencing gear receiving a trophy for first prize. Nopony clapped.
Another rush of memories. Lady Astrid at boarding school, daintily eating a small supper and reading a book of magic. Outside the open window you could hear other ponies laughing and carrying on overlaid with dance music.
The memories intensified. Another scene change and there was Astrid in a wedding gown getting married to a stocky unicorn. She felt nothing at all.
Change. A pregnant Lady Astrid cradling her stomach as she started out a window. At last, somepony who would love her unconditionally.
Darkness, then flashes of red. An enraged Astrid standing over the bloody and broken body of her husband, his dead eyes staring up at the ceiling. Astrid’s face was bruised and battered and her transparent blue eyes were full of hate.
More red flashes, then the smell of blood and death. Lady Astrid in a mourning veil standing over a small gravestone, face as cold as marble. She lost the foal, I thought, then the scene changed again.
A young Astrid before the Council with Celestia herself as her witness. “We the Council find no violation of the Second Law. Case dismissed.”
Somewhat later, Celestia talking to Astrid over some budgeting issue, Celestia looking at her with concern. Later still, Astrid at one of Celestia’s soirees, standing alone and drinking a glass of punch.
The memories started to run together, a repeat of work, exercise, study magic, eat, sleep, the occasional book. Looks of fear from her staff, maids leaving after a few weeks, Tia giving her more responsibility, a member of the Guard I didn’t know standing in front of her, terrified. Her executing a rogue unicorn, slitting the mare’s throat on the Council floor as coolly as if she were on the fencing course, watching the red blood run to her perfect hooves. Her watching me as I walked into the Counsel chamber and thinking how dangerous I was.
And then we were back.
Lady Astrid lowered her hoof. I looked into her eyes and raised my right hoof.
“My Lady, I…”
“Save your pity for one of your other mares, Lieutenant. I have no need of it.”
I didn’t answer, just lowered my hoof and stayed standing. Lady Astrid walked to the center of the room and released the seal. She watched as the doors opened and the two mares along with Shining Armor walked back in. Carl gave me a look but I just shrugged one shoulder.
Lady Astrid talked to the two unicorns, then they took their places on the dais. Lady Astrid tapped the gavel twice. “We the Council find no malice in Benjamin Inventor and declare his magic pure and acceptable to this Council. We also promote him to Captain and to Protector of the Crown. Oi ye, oi ye, oi ye, this Council session is closed.”
Shining Armor and I bowed and held the bow until the three mares were past us. Lady Astrid paused just a moment to look at me, then kept on walking. As soon as they were out the door, Carl and I stood. We looked at one another in astonishment. Two promotions! And one jumping a rank! Who would have guessed?
We didn’t talk until we were a block away from the Council building, then Shining Armor leapt up in the air and slammed both hooves down on my shoulders. “Incredible! You’re not dead!!”
“Get off me, you lug!” I said, pushing him off. Shining Armor just kept grinning.
“There you stood, as cool as a cucumber the entire time. Magic, I was scared!” he said, walking on. “Can you talk about the Reading?”
“I’m sorry, Carl, I can’t; it’s under Council seal.”
Shining Armor waved a hoof. “Forget it, forget it, I shouldn’t have asked. So, Captain , care to celebrate?”
“You know what I’d like? I’ll tell you what I’d like. I’d like for you to take me home, give me food and let me spend time with that marvelous Princess. You can stay too, I guess.”
And so he did. Cadence was delighted to see me again and I found myself with a hoof full of very pretty and sweet alicorn when she greeted me. She could cook, too, so we had a celebratory feast, the three of us, laughing, talking and reminiscing. Cadence started talking about their upcoming wedding and after a couple of minutes Carl and I pretended to die of boredom, both of us sliding under the kitchen table with our tongues hanging out the side of our mouths.
“Stop it, both of you!” said a laughing Cadence. “Benjamin, I believe you have a wedding of your own to think about?”
I pretended to think, tapping my front hooves together and staring at the ceiling. “Wedding, wedding, wedding. Let’s see, there’s yours, of course. Lyra? No. Rarity? No. Perhaps Pierre? No, he fancies Lyra.”
“To Applejack , you dope!” said Cadence, smacking me on the shoulder.
I shrunk back in my chair in mock horror. “You…you mean, I actually have to marry AJ?!? Aaaiiee !” Carl roared with laughter while Cadence kept yelling at me to stop acting like dope. We had a fine time and as their grandfather clock struck 6, I got up to leave.
“Watch, both of you,” I said as I stood in hall. I called up my magic ball again. I had all of Lady Astrid’s refinements from her years and years of study, so instead of hissing and crackling, the magic ball gave off a low hum. I contained the magic perfectly, the display inspiring awe instead of fear now.
“Whoa!” said Shining Armor.
“Ooooo, that’s unbelievable!” said a wide-eyed Cadence.
I snuffed the ball with a thought. “Keep it to yourselves, alright?”
“Sure,” “Yes, I will,” both said at the same time.
Cadence gave me a kiss on either cheek and touched my nose with hers (she liked the Pegasus Farewell too, I thought), then left me with Carl.
I reached out to shake his hoof but instead he reached forward and wrapped me in his front hooves.
“I love you, stallion,” he said gruffly, then pulled back.
“I love you, too, Carl, and I can’t thank you enough for standing by me today.” I turned to go, then turned back, grinning. “Don’t worry, I don’t want to pick out curtains or anything.”
Carl laughed, shoved me out his front door and made a big show of slamming it.
I chuckled as I headed toward the depot and Roundhouse’s house. I thought of Lady Astrid’s barren, empty life with no friends at all and thanked the Magic I had such good ones. I still couldn’t get over the two promotions. I didn’t do a thing, just showed up. Eh, well, most likely politics of some sort and I’d get it later.
I called out to my Lady Magic. So, my Lady, what do You think of Your favorite Guardian now ?
No answer.
My Lady?
Nothing. Hmm, must be busy somewhere else.
I found Roundhouse’s little cottage about two blocks from the station. I got the key from under the mat and walked in. It was a pleasant place, one single large room, a bedroom, a kitchen and a small bathroom. I tossed the key on a little table next to the door and put my saddlebags and pouch in the bedroom. There were pictures on a table under a window: a very young Roundhouse next to an old Single Driver locomotive, Roundhouse with a half dozen railroaders, an older Roundhouse grinning with his hooves around two young stallions’ shoulders, both with the exact same grin. Foals, I thought. Grown now.
Over the fireplace was portrait of a pleasant looking Earth pony mare wearing an army uniform. I read the plaque:
MSgt. Cecilia Roundhouse
That would be…eight years ago, five years before I got here. The last year of the Griffon War, too. That war just comes up over and over again.
I looked around. The place was clean enough but I thought I could do better. I opened a window and cast a cleaning spell. Dust, dirt and a few insects whooshed out the window. I closed it, cleaned the windows inside and out, polished the floors, fixed a rotten floorboard, then polished the furniture which was excellent quality. I went into the bedroom and flipped the mattress, then remade the bed after magically cleaning the sheets. I scrubbed the bathroom and kitchen until they shone, then cleared a half clog in the shower drain. I reamed out the water pipes, fastened down a couple of loose cedar shakes and fixed a crack in the foundation. I did all of this with magic which was sharp, incredibly accurate and which cost me far, far less effort than it would have before I’d spent time with Lady Astrid.
House in order, I found some black tea in a cabinet, put on a kettle and made myself some. I found an apple (Pink Mare) in a well-stocked ice box, magically refroze the melted ice and then settled in the parlor in front of a wood fire I’d laid earlier. Have to clean out the ashes in the morning, I thought.
I was enjoying a pleasant lassitude and wishing AJ were with me and leaning on my side as usual when I heard a light tapping at the door. Most likely a friend of Roundhouse’s who doesn’t know he’s doing the Baltimare run tonight, I thought. I got up and answered the door, prepared to send whoever it was on their way.
It was Lady Astrid.
I was so stunned I took a couple of steps backward before I remembered to step aside and bow. She walked in, as elegant as ever.
“So this is the house of a hogger,” she said, looking around the front room.
“Won’t you come in, my Lady?” I said as I rose. “I was just having a cup of tea.”
“Thank you, I will.”
In something of a daze I made another cup of black tea and put in two lumps of sugar. No detail too small from a mind meld, I thought, as I came back into the parlor.
Lady Astrid was sitting up and stretched out facing the fire, unbelievably appealing. She glanced up at me as I put the tea between her front hooves. I stretched out myself a couple of feet from her, also facing the fire. I hadn’t lit a lamp yet, so the firelight made Lady Astrid look even more exotic.
“Do you find me attractive, Maker?” she asked, sipping her tea.
“A stallion dead for six months would find you attractive, my Lady.”
That earned me a very small smile. “When it’s just us, you can use my Private Name.”
“Thank you, Juliette,” I said.
She drank her tea in silence, then said, “I’ve done two other Private Readings. I ended up slitting both their throats.”
“I know.”
More tea. “Do you love me?” she asked, no change of tone in her voice.
“Yes,” I answered.
“Why?”
“Because you’re yourself. Because you’re the only pony in the World that knows every single thing there is to know about me, so I don’t have to hide anything from you, ever. And because you’re the only other unicorn as powerful as I,” I said. And it was true. Lady Astrid knew the good, the bad and the ugly about me, parts of me even AJ didn’t know and never would.
Juliette finished her tea, so I took her cup and mine into the kitchen. I left them in the sink to wash later, then settled back where I was before. Lady Astrid just stared at the fire for a good while until it burned down. I got up to add some wood, then settled again once the fire crackled to life.
“I don’t know how to love,” she said. “You did before you came to this World. And you don’t mind when other ponies hug you, play with you, tackle you or just act silly around you. You don’t even mind when they attack you. Because you love them, all of them.”
“Yes,” I said, “although I could do without the attacking.”
“I haven’t touched a pony in almost three years until I touched you today.”
Without looking at her, I scooted a little closer and took Juliette’s right hoof in my left. She gripped it with a death grip but I didn’t protest. A single tear tracked down her muzzle.
“I only know how to hate. Or to feel nothing at all,” she said in that same calm tone, still gripping my hoof like a drowning pony.
Another pause. “Would you make love to me, Maker?” she said, still staring at the fire, still gripping my hoof.
“If you like, Juliette,” I answered casually, knowing full well that wasn’t what she wanted or needed.
“If you did, would it be like it was with Sunny? If you did, would you love me the way you loved her?”
“No, honey, I wouldn’t. I’m sorry,” I answered, sad for her.
“’Honey’,” she repeated. “Nopony has ever used an endearment with me, ever. Not even my…” and Juliette choked back a sob, then went on, voice calm again, “…not even my mother or father.”
“I won’t do it if it bothers you, Juliette.”
“No, it’s fine.” Another pause. “AJ calls you ‘Partner’, ‘Hon’ and ‘Studly’.”
“Yes.”
“That’s nice.” Same calm tone, same grip.
We kept staring at the fire, the two of us. I’d have thought Lady Astrid asleep if her eyes hadn’t reflected the firelight.
“Help me,” she finally said, voice calm as ever. “Help me, Maker. Please help me.”
I gently pulled my hoof from hers and slowly slid closer until my body was touching hers for most of my length. I could feel her quivering every now and then.
“All right,” I said, taking her hoof again. I took a breath and sang:
In Stableside there lived a maid,
Mark well what I do say!
In Stableside there lived a maid,
And she was mistress of her trade.
I'll go no more a roving with you, fair maid!
A rovin', a rovin',
Since rovin's been my ru-i-in,
I'll go no more a roving,
With you fair maid!
I took this maiden for a walk,
Mark well what I do say!
I took this maiden for a walk,
I gave her some gin and didn't she talk!
I'll go no more a roving with you fair maid!
A rovin', a rovin',
Since rovin's been my ru-i-in,
I'll go no more a roving,
With you fair maid!
She said, "You sailors I love you so,"
Mark well what I do say!
"All you sailors, I love you so,"
And the reason why I soon did know.
I'll go no more a roving with you fair maid!
A rovin', a rovin',
Since rovin's been my ru-i-in,
I'll go no more a roving,
With you fair maid!
When I stopped, Juliette was completely still. I felt her stir a few seconds later, so I turned and looked at her. She was looking at me with an expression of complete and utter amazement. Then she smiled, this brilliant, beaming smile. Then she laughed. Just a small, choked off sort of laugh. Then she laughed again, a little longer. Then she started laughing, really laughing, body shaking, eyes tearing, the works. She had a low, hearty laugh, similar to AJ’s.
“Did you…*gasp*…did you…hahahahaha…did you just sing a bawdy sea shanty to me !?!” she choked out, wiping her eyes.
I grinned at her. “That was actually a very mild one. I know some that would curl your mane.”
“Ahahahah…oh, gosh….*gasp*…whew. Ah, me,” she said, finally winding down.
Let the healing begin, I thought.
“Please excuse me,” Juliette said and daintily stepped over me to go to the bathroom.
I watched the fire and did some breathing exercises. Lady Astrid was on a knife edge but at least I had a chance now.
I stayed very still as Juliette came back from the bathroom. She settled next to me, her right flank touching all along my left side which was a good sign. I said nothing, just let her settle.
“No wonder mares like you, Ben,” she said, “you make them laugh.”
I smiled at that. “One of the first rules of a relationship, Juliette: ‘Keep ‘em laughing’.”
“My husband…” she started, then broke off and looked away from me.
“Baroness Astrid Gräfin von Horsenberg,” I said in deadly earnest, still looking at the fire, “were your husband alive today, I swear on my Sacred Honor he would not see another Sunrise.” I Felt my magic surge at the oath, then quiet again.
Juliette nodded. I Felt her magic field very cautiously reach out for mine, barely touching my field around the edges. I didn’t look at her, just kept up my T’ai Chi breathing and made her as welcome as I could. After a few more probes, her field merged into mine and I felt her relax. This was the first time she’d merged with another unicorn since she was a little filly; 50 years completely alone. Good, good, I thought. No sudden moves, slow breathing, nothing untoward.
Lady Astrid slowly, very slowly, rested her chin on my left shoulder. She was a little taller than I, so she didn’t have to strain. I took a breath and sang softly:
Train whistle blowing makes a sleepy sound
Underneath their blankets foals are slumber bound
Rocking rolling riding out along the bay
All bound for Morningtown many miles away
Driver at the engine, fireman rings the bell
Sandman swings the lantern to show that all is well
Rocking rolling riding out along the bay
All bound for Morningtown many miles away
Maybe it is raining where our train will ride
All the little travelers are warm and snug inside
Rocking rolling riding out along the bay
All bound for Morningtown many miles away
Somewhere there is, sunshine somewhere there is day
Somewhere there is Morningtown many miles away
Rocking rolling riding out along the bay
All bound for Morningtown many miles away
All bound for Morningtown many miles away
I Felt Juliette’s magic field change and her breathing slow as she fell asleep. I sent her love and reassurance, then relaxed a little myself. The fire burned down to glowing coals, the room darkening around us. I heard the station clock chime 8. She has a chance now, I thought, a good chance. I felt a spasm of hate for Juliette’s long-dead husband but quelled it since I didn’t want to disturb her.
I heard the station clock strike the quarter, then the half. I was starting to nod myself when Juliette stirred, then sat up and gave a tremendous yawn. Even her yawns are elegant, I thought, thinking of AJ’s unrestrained smacking noises.
“Oh, I must have drifted off,” Lady Astrid said. “What is the time?”
“8:30.”
“I’d best go; I have an early meeting with Princess Celestia and Princess Luna about the new sewer line.”
She withdrew her magic field from me and stood. I lit an oil lantern with magic as I got up and the glow surrounded us. Juliette was a completely different unicorn than when she entered. I could Feel it as well as see it in her body language.
She turned to me just before she got to the door.
“Thank you, Maker. Thank you for everything,” she said.
“You’re welcome, Juliette.”
“What should I do now?” she asked. I was waiting for that. One step at a time, I thought.
“Two things, my Lady. Do you know the donut shop a couple of blocks from the palace?”
Her ears perked forward. “Why, yes, I do.”
“Princess Celestia is obsessed with the cream-filled donuts there,” I said, smiling blandly. “She only allows herself two a month since she’s vain about her figure. Go there first thing in the morning and get a dozen of those donuts and take them to the meeting.”
“All right,” Juliette said, making a note on a small notepad with a jeweled pencil.
“After the meeting, take a moment to thank Celestia for her supporting you all these years.”
Juliette nodded. “I will. Is there anything else?”
Once a functionary always a functionary, I thought. “I’d like you to spend Year’s End with the Apples and me in Ponyville. I’ll ask the family to invite the Brickles as well. I want the fillies in both families to meet you.” But mainly you to meet them, I thought to myself, particularly Winter and Apple Bloom. “The accommodations aren’t as luxurious as you’re used to, of course, but Granny will make you most welcome. The spa is World class, too.”
For the first time, Lady Astrid looked nonplussed. “Me? With your family?”
“You know them as well as I do, my Lady. Don’t tell me you don’t have enough vacation time?”
“Four years, three months, two weeks and five days,” she said, putting away her pad and pencil. Juliette smiled, that same beautiful smile from before. “I’d love to come.”
“Excellent! We’ll work out the details closer to the day,” I said, smiling back at her. Careful, careful, I thought. I took a step forward and, very slowly, kissed her left muzzle, then her right, then touched her nose with mine. She shivered just a little, then stopped.
I stepped back and gave her a full bow. “It has been one of the greatest honors of my life to get to know you, my Lady. Thank you for this day.”
Lady Astrid nodded, then after I rose put her right hoof very gently on my chest but didn’t say anything else. “Farewell, Maker,” she said, then turned and walked out into the cold night.
I shut and barred the door, then let out an explosive breath. By the Lord of Hel’s spurred fetlocks, this had been a day. I banked the fire and carried the oil lamp into the bathroom. I went through my usual ablutions and idly wondered where Lady Magic had gone, then snuffed the lamp, climbed into bed and fell asleep at once.
Back Home
“There's a race of mares that don't fit in,
“Poems for Young Mares”, The Equestrian Encyclopedia of General Knowledge
I woke in the grey pre-dawn to a mockingbird singing, “This yard is mine, mine, mine” in a dozen different languages and dialects. I felt perfectly rested and balanced, even more than usual and decided I wasn’t bleeding magic any longer. I yawned and stretched, then raided Roundhouse’s icebox for breakfast. I had some more tea, then magically cleaned the cups along with all the dishes, skillets, pots and pans in the cupboards. I refroze the ice, cleaned the sheets again, remade the bed, used the bathroom, cleaned that and then dumped the fireplace ashes in an ash can out back. As I turned to go back in, I felt a small weight land on my head and two bright upside-down eyes looked into mine.
“You’re not Roundhouse,” said the mockingbird.
“I’m just a friend staying the night, Most Versatile and Talented of Songbirds.”
“Well, that’s alright, then,” he said. He flew back to the top of the small cherry tree in the front yard and started singing again. So they can tell ponies apart, I thought.
I gathered up my pouch and saddlebags, locked the door and put the key back under the mat where I’d found it. I’d have to make up for the produce I’d eaten later but as it happens I knew a few farmers so I didn’t think that would be a problem. It was 6:10 by the station clock when I got to the depot. I checked the freight schedule and there was one heading through Ponyville on route to Appleloosa. I didn’t want to wait for the 7:30 passenger train and I decided I’d sneak on as a boxcar tourist if the engineer didn’t want me in the cab.
I walked over to the freight depot and found a 4-4-0 idling on a siding. This one was at least 20 years old but she was in beautiful shape. I looked over the pistons and piston rods magically and found a composite cylinder, steel with a ring of brass with the sleeve lined in brass, too. That meant the brass expanded and less steam escaped. Ingenious. Why didn’t I think of that? And some of the tubing was copper instead of steel. Why would you do that? Cost?
“Can I help you, sir?”
Still half absorbed in the engine, I turned to find an older Earth pony in the traditional striped hat and overalls.
“Yes…yes, you can,” I said, rather rudely forgoing the pleasantries. “Is this engine from the Smithson and Sons works out of Hoofington?” I asked, pointing to her.
“Sure is. Picked her up myself 24 years ago this week.”
I’ve got to visit that foundry, I thought. The Gala engine was a Smithson , too. Who are these ponies? Then I realized I was ignoring the engineer.
“Apologies, Engineer, for my rudeness. Allow me to introduce myself. Benjamin Inventor,” I said, holding out a hoof.
The engineer took it. “Dylan Martin,” said the engineer, shaking it. “Sayyyyy,” he said as he released my hoof. “You that unicorn that helped Seamus out the other day?”
“The Station Manager?”
“That’s my boy. Just got that job.”
“A dedicated railroader, sir. You should be proud.”
“Oh, I am, I am. He was the first in th’ family to get an office job, you know? He might a’ lost it if you hadn’t run the 7 o’clock.”
“I was delighted to help,” I said. “I’d been itching to drive a 4-4-0 for some time.”
The engineer laughed and slapped me on the back. “Well, you’re a hogger now! Wanna ride with me to Ponyville?”
“I’d be honored, Mr. Martin.”
“Shoooot, just call me Whiskers,” the engineer said. “Everypony does.”
“Company stallion, I take it?”
“56 years. Hafta retire at 60 and I plan t’ make it.”
Just then who should walk up but Timothy Martin. “Mr. Inventor!” he said.
“Timothy! How are you, young stallion? Are you the firepony for the 6:30?”
“Yes, sir! And speaking of, I’d best get to it.”
Whiskers proudly watched him head to the hog. “My second daughter’s youngest. A good stallion.” Whiskers look became grim and turned to me. “He done told me about Tomas, Mr. Inventor.” Whiskers shook his head. “That filly Lauryn of his, I swear. Tomas has done the best he could with her since his wife died, but Lauryn is as willful as her mother ever was. Good hoof with a needle, though; inherited that from her mother, she did.”
So, I had a name: Lauryn O’Malley. Pretty name. “Whiskers, this case is of some interest to me. I’m a Protector of the Crown and Lauryn left with two unicorns.”
Whiskers looked alarmed. “Do you think they’ll harm her?”
“If they hurt her with magic, sir, it’ll be the last thing they ever do, I can promise you that. It’s unlikely, though. My guess is this is just a filly with restless hooves and a rebellious streak.”
Whiskers nodded. “Fillies do tend t’ get into trouble around 16. My oldest jumped a freight when she was 15 and rode all the way to the coast as a boxcar tourist.” Whiskers looked at the station clock. “On our way, Mr. Inventor!”
We both hopped into the cab, Whiskers very spry for his age. We steamed out of the depot right on time at 6:30 and I stayed back while Timothy stoked the firebox and Whiskers drove. Whiskers had a gentle, light touch and I could tell he loved this engine as if it were his own foal. Wonderful. He and Timothy shared a companionable silence, obviously very used to one another. I also enjoyed the silence after yesterday and last night. About 30 miles out Whiskers pointed to the sky which was full of pegasi. It was the Pegasus Migration heading towards Cloudsdale so they could bring in Winter tomorrow on 5th. I wondered what Derpy, Summer Breeze and Storm Spotter were doing.
About an hour out of Ponyville, Whiskers called for a song. Timothy raised his voice and sang in the most perfect, clear tenor I’d ever heard:
Nelly Bly! Nelly Bly! Bring your broom along,
We'll sweep the kitchen clean, my dear,
And have a little song.
Poke the wood, my lady love,
And make the fire burn,
And while I take my banjo down,
Just give that mush a turn.
Heigh, Nelly! Ho, Nelly!
Listen, love, to me,
I'll sing for you, I’ll play for you
A dulcet melody.
Whiskers and I joined in on the chorus. Whiskers could sing almost as well as Timothy and I wasn’t bad myself, harmonizing with both of them a third above the melody. Whiskers pushed the throttle just a bit so the engine kept time with us. Life was very good indeed.
Whiskers slowed her down to a crawl as we passed the Ponyville depot and I hopped off. I waved to both Martins as they gathered steam and, song still in my head, cast the Pony Locator spell for Lauryn O’Malley.
She was three blocks away.
Very well, young mare, I thought, you and I are going to have a talk right now. I walked to a cottage slightly larger than standard with an attic and what looked from the outside like an extra bedroom. I knocked on the door and a matronly Earth pony opened it a few seconds later. She had a strong family resemblance to Tomas O’Malley. Her eyes widened when she saw me.
“Good day, ma’am, my name is Benjamin Inventor, Protector of the Crown. May I ask if Lauryn O’Malley is here?”
“That she is, Mr. Inventor. Come in, if you please.”
“Thank you…?”
“Sara Quinn, sir.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Quinn.” The door opened into a front parlor, very neat and well kept. The cottage also faced East-West, so there was plenty of natural light from the glass windows which were something of a luxury. I took off my saddlebags and put them next to the door.
“This way, Mr. Inventor,” said Mrs. Quinn. She led me to the spare bedroom, knocked on the door and then opened it.
On the bed was a young Earth pony filly who also had a very clear resemblance to Tomas O’Malley. Where he was stocky, the filly was slender but still muscular. She had light grey eyes, a cream colored hide and a flowing brown mane. She was also wearing a blue-grey gingham dress with fluffle sleeves and a bow in front which matched her eyes exactly. Yes, indeed, this one would attract the attention of traveling salesponies, I thought.
“What is it, Aunt Sara?” she said, and then saw me standing in the bedroom door.
Lauryn threw her book down and jumped up and across the room almost faster than I could follow. She tried to press her tail into the corner and stood, shaking.
“W…wh…who’re you?” she said through clenched teeth.
Great, just great, I thought. “My name is Benjamin Inventor, young mare. I’m a Protector of the Crown. I mean you no harm.” I cast a slight calming spell and Lauryn stopped shaking.
“Am I…in trouble?” she asked, slowly unfolding from the corner.
“That is up to your father, Lauryn. However, you have worried and inconvenienced a great many ponies the last few days. It is time for you to face the consequences of your actions and know how they affect others.”
Behind me Mrs. Quinn nodded decisively, twice.
“Now then,” I said, trying to look as innocuous as possible. “I need you to please tell me of these salesponies I’ve heard so much about. Mrs. Quinn, may we use the front parlor? And it would oblige me if you’d stay as well.”
“O’course, sir. In the parlor, filly, and mind your manners,” Mrs. Quinn said. Good mare, Mrs. Quinn.
Lauryn slid past me, staying as close to the wall as possible. We settled in the parlor and Mrs. Quinn brought out some excellent green tea which must have come from overseas; I’d only had similar in the palace.
After sipping some tea, I said, “Lauryn, please tell me where you’ve been the past three days.”
Lauryn looked uncomfortable, tugging on her mane with her left hoof. “Well, Mr. Inventor, I was just out a’walkin’ when these twin ponies steamed up in this contraption and started riding beside me. One thing led to another and I ended up getting in and riding with them half way to Hoofington. When we camped that night, Flim – the ponies was named “Flim” and “Flam” – he, well…he made advances. I told him ‘no’ a couple of times and when he didn’t stop, I, well, I gave him a left uppercut and knocked him down.”
“Did you now?” Contraption? I’ll ask about that some other time.
“Yessir. My Daddy, he taught me how to box pretty good.”
“Please continue,” I said, rather liking this filly.
“Well, Flim, he just blew his stack. He grabbed Flam – those weren’t their real names, by the way, but what they used when they wasn’t a’talkin’ foreign – and they left me there by the side of the road.”
Worthless slime, I thought, to abandon a filly like that.
“I see,” I said instead. “And what happened next?”
“I slept in an abandoned barn that night under a pile o’ hay. I knew there was track which runs from Hoofington t’ here about 20 miles from the road. It’s a 15 mph track ‘cause of the curves, so after I’d walked for most of the next day, I got to th’ track and it was easy enough to hop a freight. I got into Ponyville early this mornin’ and I came to Aunt Sara’s since Daddy was making the Baltimare run.”
Resourceful, I thought, liking her even more.
“Lauryn, what I’m about to ask you is very important. At any time did…what were their names again?”
“’Flim’ and ‘Flam’ although that wasn’t their real names.”
“Yes, at any time did Flim and Flam use magic on you in any way?”
“After I popped him, Flim, he wanted to, but Flam got real scared and stopped him.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. Lowlifes they may be, but at least they knew the First Law.
“Good, Lauryn, just a few more questions. When you’re not in school, what do you do?”
“Work in th’ railyard some.”
“No dressmaking or alterations? You made that dress you’re wearing, didn’t you?”
“This ol’ thing?” Lauryn said, plucking at the bow. “Yeah, I made it last year from a picture in a magazine. Aunt Sara kept it here with some of my others. I was glad since what I was wearin’ when I left was all tore up.”
“Miss Rarity is always looking for good workers,” I said. Rarity complained to me all the time about how she needed help.
“Why, shucks, Mr. Inventor, a refined unicorn mare like Miss Rarity would never hire a railroad filly.” She pronounced “refined” as “ree-fined”.
Oh, really? I’d come across this attitude several times. Even Granny Smith mentioned “them rail ponies” once and it wasn’t complimentary. Hmm.
I looked at Mrs. Quinn and she nodded twice again. “That’s right, Mr. Inventor. Most ponies won’t hire us unless it’s in the yard or working as a track walker or engine wiper.”
“Indeed? Well, it doesn’t pay to underestimate the Element of Inspiration. Skill goes a very long way with Rarity as I can attest.”
Lauryn’s ears swiveled forward. “Oh, yeah, I just remembered I saw you two dance last year during the Festival.” She sighed. “She was so graceful.”
While I just stood there and blew a flugelhorn, no doubt. Yes, I did like this filly.
“Very well, thank you, Lauryn. Mrs. Quinn, with your permission, I’ll escort this young mare home. And Lauryn O’Malley,” I said as I lighted my horn and changed my eye color briefly, “do not make me come looking for you again.” I tried to imitate Lady Dragon and thought I did it pretty well.
Lauryn’s ears flattened to her head for just a moment, then when they came back up, she looked at the floor and scraped her left hoof a few times. “No, sir,” she said.
Mrs. Quinn gave her habitual double nod and then looked at the mantle clock: 12:50. “Tomas should be at home now, Mr. Inventor. I was just waitin’ for him to get back.”
“Then we’ll be on our way. Thank you for the excellent tea, Mrs. Quinn.”
As I stood to leave, Mrs. Quinn laid a gentle hoof on my left front shoulder. “And thank you for helping us railponies, Mr. Inventor.” I could tell she meant Tomas as well.
“Not at all, ma’am. If I or any other agent of the Crown can be of service to you again, please let me know.”
One more double nod and after I put on my saddlebags, Lauryn and I were out the door and on our way. Lauryn’s house was only a couple of blocks and we walked it in silence. I didn’t realize it but I was whistling “Nelly Bly” to myself as I walked along. Suddenly, Lauryn sang:
Heigh, Nelly! Ho, Nelly!
Listen, love, to me,
I'll sing for you, I’ll play for you
A dulcet melody.
Nelly Bly shuts her eye
when she goes to sleep.
When she wakens up again
her eyeballs start to peep.
The way she walks, she lifts her foot,
and then she brings it down,
And when it lights, there's music there
in that part of the town.
Heigh, Nelly! Ho, Nelly!
Listen, love, to me,
I'll sing for you, I’ll play for you
A dulcet melody.
Her voice was even better than Timothy’s, an alto as clear as a mountain stream. I stared at her in astonishment, wondering if all railroaders had such good voices.
“Why, that’s quite good, Miss O’Malley. You could sing a duet with Timothy Martin, perhaps with a pair of sand blocks and a banjo.”
Her ears shot forward. “You know Timmy?”
“I’ve had the pleasure, yes.”
“Oh, he’s so handsome,” Lauryn sighed with a dreamy expression on her face.
He is? I’d found him rather plain, myself, but of course said nothing.
“A fine stallion. And one who was most upset when you went missing.”
That made Lauryn’s ears droop all over again. Oh ho, I thought, that got to you where the other admonitions didn’t.
We were soon at her front door and I knocked. She took a breath and braced herself. Tomas answered, and the second he saw her, he grabbed her in both front hooves.
“Lauryn! Where were you?” “Daddy, I’m back, I’m back, I’m sorry!!” Both were talking at once. Tomas shook her like a rag doll, slapped her once (not very hard), then hugged her again. Exit, stage left, I thought, and cast a concealing spell I’d learned from Lady Astrid.
I lifted the spell a minute or so later as I trotted to Rarity’s. I burst through her door, slid across her floor on my knees and spread both my front hooves while singing at the top of my lungs:
Heigh, Nelly! Ho, Nelly!
Listen, love, to me,
I'll sing for you, I’ll play for you
A dulcet melody
“Cooommming!” Rarity called from the back of the shop. Drat, a perfectly good entrance ruined by a lack of an audience.
I was still on my knees when I heard hooves pelting down the steps. It was Sweetie Belle, Rarity’s little sister.
“Hi, Mr. Inventor!” she said, throwing herself into my front hooves and kissing my nose.
“Hey, Pest,” I said. Sweetie Belle was Pest #2.
“Gotta go!” she said as she hopped down. “’Bye!” Sweetie Belle raced off and slammed the still-open door behind her.
Heh, cute, I thought. But such a nuisance when she’s with the other two.
I got to my hooves just as Rarity came from the back of her shop. As always, I enjoyed watching my dance partner move.
“Hello, Gorgeous,” I said.
“Benjamin! How are you?” said Rarity in that clipped accent of hers.
“Hungry since I missed lunch. What’s t’ eat?”
Rarity rolled her eyes. “Oh, honestly. Sometimes I think the only reason you come here is to mooch off of me.”
“Well, not the only reason,” I said, leering.
Rarity giggled, then stuck her nose in the air. “Oh, very well. Follow me to the kitchen.” As she walked away, I thought of AJ imitating her during harvest.
I tossed my saddlebags and pouch next to the door and followed Rarity. As always, her presentation was very artistic and we had a fine lunch. We talked about Ponyville and our friends, then Rarity handed me a schedule she’d worked out for our rehearsals. Three days a week, an hour a day until Year’s End. Yes, that should work.
“Oh, and Benjamin,” she said as I helped her clean up the kitchen. “Thank you for sending those Brickle fillies to me. Summer has a perfect figure and Spring’s larger size – we’ll, they’re both ideal to model my new Farmer’s Daughter line of dresses.”
“Excellent, Rarity, very good. They’re both wonderful fillies. Oh, and say, I’ve found you some help.” I used a convenient pad and pen to write out Lauryn O’Malley’s name and address. “She’s a railroad filly and has a natural talent for making dresses.”
“I’d hire one of the Lord of Hel’s minions if he could sew and would show up on time,” Rarity said, looking at the paper. “Thank you again, Benjamin.”
I had a good laugh at that. Rarity had a biting sense of humor she only let her good friends see. At the door, I tossed my saddlebags over my back and tied on my pouch. I leaned forward, kissed Rarity on both sides of her muzzle and touched her nose with mine. I also extended my magic field to surround Rarity with my love and friendship for her.
“What was that for?” said Rarity, ears forward and coloring slightly.
“A Pegasus Farewell,” I said, pulling my field back. “Until next time, my Favorite Dance Partner.” I waved a hoof as I walked out the door.
Rarity waved back, still with a slight blush.
I closed the door behind me and trotted toward the Widow Grass’ house. If Lady Magic hadn’t stopped me, I thought, picturing Rarity’s flanks as she walked into her kitchen. Eh, well, water under the bridge.
I knocked on the Widow Grass’ door just as the station clock struck 2. She answered almost right away.
“Why, it’s my chimney sweep!” she said, with a sweet smile. Nice old mare, she really was.
I gave a half bow. “Mrs. Grass, a pleasure to see you again.”
“Please come in, Mr. Inventor. I just put out some tea to steep. Just leave your saddlebags on the hall table.”
As Mrs. Grass led me to the parlor I extended my senses around her. I was right before; she wouldn’t make it too much longer. Her liver and kidneys were both going to fail soon. I said nothing, of course.
We settled in a very tasteful room with a loveseat and matching chairs. The delicate china Mrs. Grass brought out matched as well. We talked about the Brickles and the Festival, then Mrs. Grass put down her tea cup and folded her hooves demurely in front of her.
“I heard you had an interesting…altercation the other morning at the depot, young stallion,” she said, looking rather arch. Not much happened in town Mrs. Grass didn’t know.
“Just a martial arts demonstration, Mrs. Grass, nothing else,” I said as I finished my excellent Oolong and put the teacup down. It was time.
“Emerald Grass,” I said, “I would make a pact with you…”
I trotted home while I reviewed the last few days to see if I’d forgotten anything. No, nothing. Ready for Winter and time with my family. After a startled reaction, the Widow Grass had asked for time to think about my offer. That was fine.
I picked up my laundry, juggling two 2 bit coins (one for laundry and one for tip) and then tossing them to the mare behind the counter as she tossed me my clean and folded laundry at the same time. I wasn’t sure how we’d started doing that, but we’d become really good at it and grinned at one another each time, never saying a word. I passed Derpy’s empty cottage, then heard grumbling and cursing from a hole in a bank next to the gorge. I saw a striped head with tiny ears poke out.
“Good day to you, Mr. Badger,” I said.
“Get stuffed, pony,” he said showing his formidable teeth. Out of sorts because of Winter, I thought.
“A good Winter rest to you, Mightiest of Warriors,” I said, not taking it personally.
The badger relented slightly since I’d acknowledged his fighting prowess. “Thanks,” he said, then vanished back into his den.
I got home to the workshop, grateful as always to see my own kitchen door. I unpacked, went through the mail, and then went outside to my spot overlooking the gorge. It was cold but the Sun was out and most likely this was the last day I’d have to lie outside until Spring.
I thought of all I’d done the last few days, then of AJ, my new family, Rarity, Juliette, Carl, the Brickles, the railponies, other ponies like Widow Grass, even Lady Silver. Yes, I thought, yes. I am Guardian and these are mine to protect and to serve. All of them. And enjoy myself along the way, I tell you what.
Well said, my Guardian, said Lady Magic.
My Lady! How good to hear from You! Where have You been?
I had to leave you, Guardian, when you were before the Council. You did well, very well. You unboxed Juliette’s soul. I can reach her now.
At Your service, my Lady.
Rest, now, Rest this Winter and Spring. I’ll be with you again in the Summer. We’ll have much to do, then.
Wait, my Lady…but She was gone.
I’d been absorbed enough talking to my Lady Magic I didn’t hear some ponies come up behind me.
“Go on, then,” I heard, and turned to find three stallions. I almost didn’t recognize Seamus Martin and the conductor without their uniforms. Tomas O’Malley was in between them, without his overalls but wringing his engineer hat in between his front hooves. He had a shiner and a lump on his jaw, too.
“Mr. Wizard,” said Tomas, still twisting his hat and looking at the ground. “It’s that sorry I am about how I behaved and I hope you can forgive me and I want t’ thank you for treatin’ my daughter so well and…well, there ‘tis.”
I extended a hoof. “Forgiven and forgotten, Engineer. I’m just glad Lauryn is safe at home again. She’s a good filly, that one, if a bit headstrong.”
“Oh, thank you, sir, thank you,” said Tomas, looking up, putting on his hat and wringing my hoof with both of his. I took the opportunity to partially heal his lumps and bruises. He didn’t even notice.
“Mr. Inventor,” said Seamus. “We’re having a get-together in a half hour or so to celebrate Lauryn gettin’ home. Would you care to join?”
“I thank you, Seamus, I truly do, but my fiancée and family are expecting me soon. I must decline with regret and hope you’ll invite me again sometime.”
“That I will, sir. Oh, by the way,” said Seamus, pointing a hoof at the huge conductor, “this here’s ‘Bull’ O’Keefe. He don’t talk much.”
I immediately thought of what Fall said about Winter. Quite the contrast.
“A pleasure to meet you, sir.”
“Mr. Wizard,” Bull said, his voice a deep rumble. A hoof as large as Big Mac’s engulfed mine.
“We’re gone, then. Thanks again, Mr. Inventor,” said Seamus and the group trotted off.
A good resolution. Why the disdain for railroaders, I wondered. Is it because they’re Earth ponies who work with machines? No idea. I certainly liked them.
I went back inside, turned on the fireplace, lit a gas lamp in the kitchen so I wouldn’t come back to a dark house and closed the door behind me. Time to see AJ again, I thought, as I headed down the path. I need to talk to her and Granny about Juliette, too.
I passed a cardinal although I wasn’t sure if it was the same one I’d seen before or not.
“Ready for Winter, unicorn!” he said.
I laughed out loud for the joy, the wonder and the marvel of being alive. “As am I, Handsome Songbird, as am I!”
End of Part 1
