Where Dreams Begin

by Havokwithak

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Sex
Length: 5246

Twilight can't sleep because she lays awake at night and thinks about her feelings. This is the story of one of the many nights she can't sleep.

Twilight can't sleep. She's not slept a full night in two months and it's all because of this feeling she has. All she can do is lay awake and think. She's been falling asleep hanging out with her friends and she's constantly drowsy. This is just one night of the many that she's laid awake and thought of her feelings.

A short one-shot story.

Sex tag is for just a couple brief mentions of sex.

Published 2016-08-13 03:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-08-13 03:50:01 UTC

At The End Of Thought

She would often lie in bed long after she intended to sleep. She would plan to sleep as the moon slowly broke across the horizon and the stars painted the land in their glow. The wind would grow still and the insects would sing to the stars as if they were in love. The world would be calm as it too, began to slumber.

Twilight loved this time, when the world was most beautiful in a truly natural way. She saw the world like a mare, and sunlight was its make-up. After the light had been wiped from the world the beauty left was far more natural and preferable to the mare. She had always hated large coats of make-up anyway. A mare was most beautiful in a natural way. Nothing changing or hiding any features and nothing obscuring all of the radiance beneath.

She believed the day was beautiful in a radiant way, but the night was equally beautiful in a way that, regretfully, few others truly understood.

So as she took in the sight through her window, of a world still and calm and relaxing before the inevitable hardships of another day, and she thought. She took this opportunity to think of many things, her work, her friends, plans for the future, but tonight? Tonight, she thought of something much heavier. Something she had to break out of her mind. She thought of love.

Love was a difficult concept for the mare. It was something as mysterious and wonderful as the future itself. However, it was also something that terrified the young alicorn. Even now, when the one she loved was no where in sight, all she could think about was her. It was always going to be her really, she had known now for years how she felt.

So why did it terrify her? Love seemed to be amazing from what she had seen. She had seen love, literally, banish evil. She had seen love change someone into something better than themselves. She had even seen her love for her friends save the world, but love for another in a romantic sense? She felt her heart begin to thump into her ribs with all of the force it could muster just thinking about it.

How did one even go about love? Would one simply confess their love through a letter? Or would it be necessary to meet in person to discuss such things? The thing that scared Twilight was not that her love was rejected. She had been told by the Princess of Love, long ago, that if one's love was rejected it could hardly be considered true love at all. Of course, there were exceptions to this rule, but she trusted in everything related to love that she heard from her sister-in-law.

No, she was afraid that her love would be returned. Then what? Would she begin the courting process? Would she be expected to marry? These things terrified her.

She had never allowed herself to kiss another, and she wasn't even sure how to begin such a thing. Is it simply a pressing together of the lips, or is there more to it? Of course, as these thoughts invaded her mind she was also barraged by thoughts of making love and sleeping together. She could not even sleep with Smarty Pants when she was a kid without waking up to find her stuffed friend in the floor.

She knew she was getting ahead of herself with such thoughts, however such things are hardly logical. Love was a very different thought process. She knew logically that no thinking about it, and no books or how-to guides would be able to give her the correct approach, that she would simply have to approach the object of her affections and admit her feelings and hope... hope for what? That her feelings would be returned? That she would be faced with the situations that were currently darkening her mind?

Would she hope for a rejection? A rejection would certainly be easier, logically. She could then claim that she had done all she could and she would move on. Again, though, these things are never logical. She knew with a rejection would come heartbreak, sadness, and awkwardness between the two parties for weeks to come. She did not see the other pony often and she knew interaction would be limited. Would that make the awkwardness drag on, or would it seem shorter?

Her brain wanted to be rejected or to stop having these feelings all-together, but her heart? Her heart cried out for her love and longed for a joining with the heart of her affections. It demanded that she lay awake long into the night and lie in her bed and think of the other as she stared across the star-light landscape.

Her heart was a jerk.

Twilight's window faced towards Canterlot Castle and she stared at it now as she thought of her mentor. Princess Celestia had taught the young mare many things, but this had never been one of her lessons. Matters of the heart were things that her mentor had always avoided and she now wished, more than ever, that she could discuss this with her.

Of course, Twilight knew her mentor well enough to know exactly how that conversation would unfold. She would first stare at her student with that teacher's smile. She would then begin to speak of vague couples she knew from her younger days and how they met. Then, she would wrap up the conversation with a vague saying that Twilight would not understand until weeks after.

She sighed as she decided that she might not exactly need that kind of 'help' right now. She rolled herself until she was staring at her bedroom door. It was much easier to look at than the castle.

She had dreamed before. Of an alicorn sharing her bed. A midnight blue mane twinkling with stars, and an entirely different shade of blue on the hooves that caressed her as they lie intertwined in a bed with satin sheets. Because of this dream she was afraid to sleep.

She had realized that she was falling for Princess Luna two months before. She had always considered her beautiful and she acknowledged the butterflies that would manifest within her as she listened to the older mare speak of ancient tales that she, herself had lived through. She had always known she had a crush, but it had taken her a long time to realized that her feelings had grown.

They had met for tea, as they had several times since Twilight's own ascension to royalty. She had explained to Princess Luna that before she herself had become a princess, that it would have been improper for her to invite the Princess of the Night to tea with her.

Two months before had been different. Typically, they would meet, drink tea, and sometimes play a game. They had been in the middle of one of their favorite games, when Twilight had spotted it. As Luna moved a rook across the board and took Twilight's bishop, there was something in her eyes. It was hard to understand, but it was something ancient, and beautiful, and just a little broken.

Twilight felt something in herself break upon seeing it. It was her authority. Twilight had realized upon reflection that there was only pony in the world that Luna could enjoy herself around. Celestia was always too busy running their country, Cadance and Shining armor lived too far away to get away for very long, and she was a princess, so any common pony avoided her.

Twilight was there for her though. Twilight was the only one who treated her like a normal pony. She could see it in the older pony's eyes, she was lonely... and Twilight hurt for her. She could see that the haughty stare, and the air of authority was just a shield to keep everypony from seeing the pain that lurked just beneath, but Twilight could see it. She could see it, because she shared that pain.

Since the day of her ascension she could feel the loneliness that came with immortality. Sure, she still had her friends, but she had by now accepted the fact that they would eventually grow old and fade away whilst she herself would only grow stronger as the centuries passed her by.

Finding a lover was an even more heart-breaking experience in her mind. She could never love a pony that she would outlive, because it would bring too much pain. She was several centuries younger than the other princesses and she understood that their pain must surely dwarf hers.

Twilight grabbed her pillow and stared at it before pounding her hooves into it in frustration. She did not want to be in love with anypony, let alone Princess Luna. It was a problem really, because they were both princesses and she knew that any relationship with her would hold the public eye for moons.

Still, the young alicorn could not stop thinking about Luna. The way she smiled, the way she smelled, and the way her eyes would glint with laughter and mischief during their games. Twilight smiled to herself as she thought of the first time those very eyes had sent a shiver down her spine. Luna was truly a wonderful pony, and Twilight smiled as she realized there were worse ponies to fall in love with.

She tossed her pillow back down on the bed and looked towards the window once more. She smiled at the moon and continued thinking of her favorite princess's face. She supposed that she should tell Luna how she felt, but either possible result was absolutely petrifying. Either Luna would reject her, politely, but reject her nonetheless. Or, the older alicorn would return her feelings and the two of them would begin a relationship.

How would one court a princess? She sighed as she realized she had already asked herself that question this night. She had been asking herself the same questions, and thinking of the same things for weeks now. She hated it... but she loved it too. She loved being so head over hooves for another pony that she couldn't stop thinking of them. She loved laying awake through the night thinking of her smile and her face. She loved sleeping and seeing that special pony in her dreams, holding her, caressing her, whispering all of her hopes and dreams in the young alicorn's ear.

Twilight had initially been worried that the alicorn of the night would see her dreams, however she soon returned to her logic (somewhat) and remembered that Luna only interfered with nightmares. She did not watch the dreams of her little ponies, but protect them against any negative thought or any terror they were unintentionally inflicting upon themselves. After Twilight remembered that, her dreams had been much more pleasant of an experience.

Twilight laid back down into her mattress and stared at the ceiling. She knew she needed to sleep soon, her friends were probably tired of her being drowsy during their day time activities. Still, her mind kept nagging at her for some reason. There was something the alicorn had not yet figured out. Something continued to keep her awake through the night and something forced her to continue thinking of Luna.

Twilight closed her eyes and concentrated on stilling her mind. She had spent too much of her night concentrating on thoughts that she knew, deep in her heart, were irrelevant. It wasn't that she didn't care enough about Luna to tell her how she felt; she simply knew that she did not have the courage to make the first move.

She was scared. She stayed that way when it came to her feelings. She so badly wanted to tell Luna that she was falling for her and she did not care if it broke her heart. What truly terrified the princess, was how Luna may feel. What if the two of them didn't work? What if it was Twilight's fault and she was the one to hurt Luna?

Twilight jumped as her door opened.

Spike stepped into her room and swallowed nervously. He looked as if he had done something very wrong.

"What is it, Spike?" Twilight asked as she got out of her bed.

"I have to tell you something." he said. "I don't want you to get mad."

Twilight felt her heart beginning to race. What could Spike have done that would make him feel guilty enough to enter her room in the middle the night? She swallowed a ball of nerves and tentatively asked, "What is it?"

"Just promise not to get mad." he said. "I've just been so worried about you lately I couldn't help it."

"I won't get mad, Spike." she said. "Please, just tell me what it is?"

"I wrote a letter to Princess Celestia." He said with a slump of his shoulder, as if the thought alone had been weighing him down. "I've just been so worried. You've been falling asleep at the breakfast table, you've been falling asleep when you're out with your friends, and then you stay up half way through the night and I can hear you in here sometimes, mumbling to yourself."

Twilight laughed a short nervous laugh. "I'm not mad, Spike. But, there really wasn't any need for you to write to Princess Celestia."

Spike chuckled then, a sheepish and guilty smile on his face. "Well, it's a good thing you aren't mad..." he said. "Cause she wrote me back..."

"What did she say?" Twilight asked, nervous about how much her assistant knew, and by default, how much Celestia now knew.

"She sent me a letter for you alone and told me not to open it and not to be in the room while you read it... then she told me to leave you alone tonight." he said with a shrug before offering a scroll he pulled from behind his back to Twilight. "I just know I'm going to back to bed."

"Back to bed?" Twilight asked.

"Twilight, it's two in the morning... I was asleep when Princess Celestia sent me the letter."

"Why is she awake at two in the morning?"

"I don't know, but the better question is why are you awake at two in the morning?" Spike countered.

Twilight sighed and nodded at her young assistant. "You're right, Spike. I'll try to get some sleep soon." she said. "You go back to bed and I'll see you in the morning."

"G'night, Twilight." He said as he shuffled slowly away.

Twilight smiled as she watched him go. She then stared at the scroll. The royal Canterlot seal was proof enough that it was from her mentor. She walked to the window and took one more look at the moon before smiling and opening the scroll.

Dear, Twilight Sparkle

Spike has informed me that my most faithful student has been missing out on her sleep. I would like nothing more than to come to Ponyville and find what troubles you. However, I regret to inform you that I will be entertaining emissaries all week this week and am unable to leave them. Therefore, I have decided to send Princess Luna in my stead.

My sister has agreed to travel to Ponyville this night to assist you in your search for slumber. She has declared that since you are unable to sleep throughout her night, that this problem falls within her domain. She will arrive shortly after this message.

I wish you the best of luck on discovering what plagues your sleep. I have found myself in the same position in the past. Trouble sleeping due to the thoughts that plagued my mind in the early morning hours. Therefore, I must ask you this, my most faithful student: Where do dreams begin? I found that sleep returned to me once I found the answer to this question.

If you ever need anything, please do not hesitate to let me know.

Sincerely, Your Friend, Celestia.

Twilight skimmed the page three more times before a certain phrase in the short letter caught her attention.

My sister has agreed to travel to Ponyville this night-

This night.

Princess Luna was coming tonight. Twilight's magic faltered and the scroll she was holding fell to the floor. She stared at the sky again and shuddered when she realized there was a shape heading directly to Ponyville.

As fast as the shape was moving, it would be there within the quarter-hour. Twilight ran as fast as she could to the door to her castle. The one pony who invaded her thoughts and therefore made sleep elusive was now within fifteen minutes of her home to ask her exactly why she couldn't sleep. She danced in place outside of her front door.

Part of her mind was screaming in joy that the pony of her dreams would be in her castle soon. The other part of her mind was simply screaming. She wanted to hide, but she knew that was illogical and would likely not deter the Princess of the Night. Twilight took a deep breath and smiled hoping that it wouldn't look too strange on her face.

She stared at the clock on the wall and realized that Luna would knock on her door any moment now. She stared intensely at her front door, waiting for the sound of the pony she cared about to knock.

As she waited, she thought. Specifically, she thought of Celestia's letter. Where do dreams begin? Dreams were simple. They were the thoughts in a pony's head becoming manifest in their mind. When all five senses were dulled for sleep the imagination seemed real, but Twilight had a feeling that this had not been what her mentor was referring to.

What had she meant by dreams? Did she indeed mean the vivid imagination while sleeping? Or, had she meant aspirations, the desire to complete a goal in your lifetime. Where did those dreams begin? During foalhood? No, these vague questions from the princess were never that simple to answer.

Twilight was so lost in her head, that when the knock on the door finally came, it caused her to jump.

Thump, thump, thump.

Had that been a knock or was it simply the beating of Twilight's racing heart? She quickly opened the door to discover a smiling alicorn on the other side.

"Good evening, Twilight Sparkle." Princess Luna said in her most gentle voice. Twilight doubted it was true, but she liked to think that this tone the princess used was saved exclusively for her ears. "May we come in?"

Twilight nodded and stammered a quick, "P-p-please do, L-luna." before opening the door further and waving the older mare inside. "Would you like some t-tea, Princess?" Twilight asked as she ran to her kitchen.

Luna followed with a quiet chuckle. The sound was so warm and carefree that Twilight felt her nervousness relax slightly. "I most certainly would, Princess."

And now we're doing this again. Twilight thought with a small smile. The first few times the two had spent time together Twilight had continued to refer to her friend as Princess. Luna argued that she should not use her title, but Twilight vehemently refused to call her by her name. So, Luna decided to use Twilight's title for as long as Twilight used her's.

"I found my sister's letter from young Spike tossed in with all of the court paperwork earlier this night." Luna said as she sat at Twilight's table whilst the younger alicorn prepared tea. "It seems that he and your friends are most distressed about your current state."

"I'm alright, Luna." Twilight said, feigning an air of serenity. "Really, it's not like I haven't missed sleep for research in the past."

"True." Luna said with a quick nod. "However, according to my sister you have always been wise enough to catch up on your sleep. According to Spike, you haven't slept a full night in two months."

Twilight's ears fell as she continued to prepare the tea. "I've had a lot on my mind." she said.

"I assumed so, Twilight." Luna said. "However, as much as it warms my heart that you have been enjoying the serenity of my beautiful night, I know that every pony needs their rest."

"I know, Luna. I just can't stop thinking." Twilight said as she levitated two tea cups to her table. "I try to sleep, but all I can do is stare at the window and keep thinking."

"I can relate." Luna said, a far away look appeared in her eyes as she seemed to look past Twilight. "When I first returned I spent many nights lying awake and thinking. First, I thought of everything I regretted. I thought of my time as a Nightmare. However, after a talk with my sister, I was able to stop thinking about it... at least, to the same degree. Then, I thought about what I wanted. That's when sleep truly evaded me."

"What did you want?" Twilight asked.

Luna gave her a small smile and stared past the unicorn again. "I wanted... to no longer be feared. I wanted ponies to, once again, see me as a wonderful creature and a benevolent ruler. I wanted them to care for me as they did over a millennium ago."

"They do, Luna." Twilight said as she reached across her table and placed a hoof on Luna's own. "They all love you."

Luna smiled. "I know that, Twilight. When do you think that happened?"

"Nightmare Night." Twilight said. "You had fun with us. You played games and pulled pranks and had fun all night." Luna smiled and nodded.

"Does thou know what provoked me to arrive that night?" Luna asked. Twilight shook her head. " 'Twas a question, posed to me by my sister. Tia found me awake far earlier in the morning than I should have been. She asked what troubled me and I told her I wanted something."

Twilight smiled politely at her. Their circumstances were completely different. Twilight wanted something too, however she was terrified of getting what she wanted.

"She then asked what stopped me. I told her that I was scared. I was scared that I wasn't good enough. I was scared that I could never change everypony's opinion of me. Mostly, I was scared that I would let everypony down."

Twilight nodded. "I get that one." she said quietly. "I've always been scared of letting everypony down."

Luna nodded. "But, that was not the question that she asked that pulled me out of my thoughts."

"What was the question?"

"Where do dreams begin?" Twilight frowned and Luna grinned. "Tis a vexing question, is it not? I am the Princess of the Night. Dreams are within my domain and she asked me where dreams begin... and I had no answer."

"Really?" Twilight asked.

"Truly. I wracked my brain for months after that. It was only after I found the answer that I could go to Ponyville that night. It was only after I found that answer that I could sleep again."

"Where do dreams begin?" Twilight asked.

Luna laughed softly, causing Twilight's head to buzz at delight before the sound. "To answer that, you need to know, Tia did not mean 'dreams' as in the ones we have as we sleep. She meant dreams for the future."

"That's what I thought." Twilight mumbled.

"Dreams begin... at the end of thought." Luna said.

"What?" Twilight asked. That made no sense. That sounded like the kind of thing that somepony said just to sound cool. You always think about your dreams, they don't begin when you stop thinking about them. That's where dreams end.

"It sounds strange, I know." Luna said with a coy smile. "However, it is the answer." Twilight blinked. "Dreams don't start as you lay awake long into the night and think about them. They start when you wake up and act on them. If there is something you want, dear Twilight, you must take action and stop thinking about it."

"But what if what I want is... somepony...?" Twilight asked.

Luna smiled at the young alicorn. "Ah, so Twilight seeks a suitor?" Twilight merely hung her head and nodded. "What is this young stallion called?"

Twilight froze for a moment before sighing. She should be honest with Luna. "Actually, it's a mare..." she said.

"Ah." Luna said with a quick nod, as if she had been told something as simple as the time. "So what is her name?" Luna asked.

"I can't say right now." Twilight said as she felt a vice grip around her heart. She couldn't say anything.

"Well, I assume that means I know this pony." Luna said. It wasn't really a question. "You should still consider that a dream. If having this mare is something you want, you should stop laying awake at night thinking of her, and talk to her."

"But, I'm scared." Twilight whispered.

"Because she might say no?" Luna asked.

"And because she might say yes." Twilight said. "Both scenarios are terrifying, but I don't know how I would handle it if she wanted me too. If she rejected me, at least I would eventually get over it. If she returned my feelings... I could let her down. She could get hurt or we could fight all the time, or-"

"Twilight Sparkle." Luna did not yell, however her voice was firm. "You should not think like that. Pessimism is an awful thing. How would your sister-in-law feel if she heard you being pessimistic about love?"

Twilight stared at the other pony for a moment before she felt tears roll down her face. "It's not about love," her voice was barely above a whisper, "it's about me. I'm not good enough. Luna, the mare I can't stop thinking about, she's beautiful and powerful and so kind and warm and I'm... I'm just Twilight." Twilight cried openly after her short rant was finished. She was hurting just thinking about how much she cared about the pony sitting across from her and how terrified she was of telling her.

Twilight felt a hoof under her chin as Luna forced their eyes to meet. "You listen to me, Twilight." Luna said with a much softer tone. "You are one of the most beautiful ponies I have ever seen. You have enough power to rival any alicorn I have ever seen. You are one of the elements of harmony, the elements of friendship themselves. You are kind and warm and so very gentle in everything you do... if this mare doesn't love you back, well, you can do better then."

Twilight smiled as she met Luna's steadfast gaze. She didn't even notice that her head was leaning closer towards the older mare as she spoke, "Do you really mean that?" she asked.

Luna very much did notice that her head moved closer to the younger mare as she spoke. "Every word, dear Twilight." she said.

The two stopped moving for just a moment as Twilight's mind registered what was happening. Luna already knew what was happening and she smiled. Twilight smiled too, for just a moment, and then she closed her eyes and leaned ever so slightly forward.

Luna closed her eyes as she closed the distance between the two of them. Their lips met and Twilight realized that every book she had ever read about a first kiss was wrong. There were no fireworks, but explosions, no butterflies in her stomach, but live wires shocking her entire body. Her heat beat did not increase, it stopped completely. Luna's lips were not soft, they were pure fire pressed against Twilight's own.

Twilight felt Luna tilt her head before deepening the kiss and the whole process of fire, electricity, and explosions repeated. Twilight felt Luna pull away for but a moment before kissing her again.

In the hall outside of the kitchen five ponies and a dragon stood and watched the heart filled kissing between the two princesses.

Applejack laughed quietly, "Good. Maybe now she'll stay awake while we spend time together."

Rainbow groaned. "I don't like this sappy stuff." Although all of her friends noticed the single tear in her eye and the smile on her face.

Spike just smirked, proud of himself for making this happen. He had lied when he told Twilight what he had done. In his letter he had told Princess Celestia all about Twilight's trouble sleeping, but he had also mentioned that Twilight mumbled her sister's name in her sleep. All of her friends could confirm this. It had been their idea to get Celestia to send her sister to Ponyville and Celestia had admitted she had not told her sister how Twilight felt.

Fluttershy blushed and whispered, "I'm very happy for them."

Rarity nodded in approval of her friends gentle kiss. "As am I, Darling." she said.

Pinkie bounced in place before loudly exclaiming, "I ship it!"

Five sets of eyes rolled as all six of them walked away from the room. They had all decided that Spike would stay in Applejack's guest room for the night when they had planned the night a week ago.

After they left the castle Pinkie raced ahead of the group and faced them. "So, when do I throw a 'yay, our best friend is finally dating the princess of the night' party?"

"Give it a couple days, sugarcube." Applejack said with a grin. "I got a feelin' that our new favorite couple's gonna be catchin' up on their sleep tomorrow."

"Applejack!" Rarity gasped, "Are you implying that they're already planning to spend the night together?"

"I doubt they plan on any hanky-panky, Rarity." Applejack said with a roll of her eyes. "But, I don't think Luna's gonna fly all the way back to Canterlot tonight."

"Fair point." Rarity said.

"Twenty bits says they bang." Rainbow said.

"Yer on." Applejack said.

"I'm not betting on that." Spike said with a mild level of disgust. "Twilight's as good as a sister to me. I'm not betting on if she loses her virginity tonight."

"Twilight's a virgin?" Rarity asked. Spike nodded. "Thirty bits to side with Applejack." Rarity said proudly.

Spike rolled his eyes again.

"Twenty bits. They're gonna do it." Pinkie said happily.

Fluttershy whispered something then that caught Rainbow's attention. "What was that, Fluttershy?" Rainbow asked.

Fluttershy squeaked. "Thirty bits says they do."

The ponies and dragon all laughed happily at their good natured bet as they all went their separate ways home for the night.

Not far away, a large alicorn blew out a candle before kissing her mare goodnight. Twilight smiled as Luna pulled away and she wondered for a moment just how far they would go. She smiled and decided that she didn't care. She was with the mare of her dreams now and that was all that really mattered.

She closed her eyes and wrapped her hooves around her new marefriend ready to sleep.

Author's Note

So, this is a thing I did. I've been having a teensy case of writer's block lately so I thought putting out a short one-shot might clear it up a bit. Even if it doesn't, it was till fun to write.

Feel free to leave any thoughts or comments and thank you for reading. :twilightsmile: