There's Something Screwy Goin' On Around Here

by No1MporXant

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, Screwball, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random, DJ P0N-3
Length: 14618

Twilight is trying to prepare for a triennial celebration, but Screwball keeps irking her to just hang out & have some fun, things start getting pretty screwy even when yet another Monster attacks Ponyville.

Princess Twilight is trying to focus on preparing for the Blue Moon Festival, but Screwball won't stop bothering her with her "Tex Avery-an" Looney Tunes-Style antics, and Screwbs is also bringing random gags & references galore to others all over Ponyville, even a little dimension hopping here & there, with so many crazy distractions Twilight wonders what else could possibly happen today, can you say Surprise Monster Attack.

For the Prologue to this story, go here.

Cross-Posted on:
*Fan-Fiction.net

Published 2016-07-27 02:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-07-27 02:20:01 UTC

Chapter 1

Our episode begins on a glorious bright & shiny day in Ponyville, Princess Twilight & Spike have just finished lunch at the Ponyville Cafe(where Savoir Fare the waiter works).

"Ahh, that was good" said Twilight after wiping her mouth with a napkin she was levitating with her magic, "Now then Spike, let's go over the to-do list for preparation for the Blue Moon Festival tomorrow night".

Spike pulls out a quill & long scroll and says "Wow, this will be the first one you've managed since becoming a Princess".

"Well the Blue Moon Festival does only come once in a Blue Moon" Twilight replied.

Twilight then returns Spike's attention to the to-do list, then says "Now let's see what we need to do next".

"Right" Spike replies.

Suddenly we hear a Strange, High-Pitched, Feminine, kind of Annoying Sounding Voice that sounds a lot like Tara Strong performing her DC Super Hero Girls variant of Harley Quinn voice saying "Boooriiing!", while a Purple-ish Pink Hoof appears in the Fore-Ground coming out from the right side of the screen and touches the center of the screen pausing the episode as if this whole thing was a Youtube video on a touch screen device.

Then the Mystery Voice says "Let's see what else is going on", while the Purple-ish Pink Hoof touches the left side of the screen and slides across the screen to the right, causing a bunch of blurry screens to whiz by until something clear appears on screen.

We then see a strange place with an odd looking kingdom surrounded by a huge wall, the skies are dark green, and the kingdom appears to be under attack, we see a bunch of strange looking Non-Pony creatures running around as if there was a War going on.

And we see a giant robot with 4 really long spider-like legs, and a huge lazer cannon mounted on it's head blasting at the kingdom, suddenly the robot begins short circuiting, and an explosion happens on the upper corner of it's head, then something smashes out of the robot's head.

Said something looks like a strange Purple-ish Pink Pony, that seems to be a Full-Grown Mare, with a Dark Purple Mane & Tail that both have White Highlights in them, has a Cutie Mark depicting a Screw & a Baseball, is wearing a Propeller Beanie similar to the one worn by Button Mash, but what's really unusual about this Pony is the fact that her Eyes have Pink Logarithmic Spirals in the Purple Irises instead of Black Pupils.

After breaking out of the Giant Robot's head the Pony begins running like a biped down the Robot's leg as the Robot falls down like a tree, then the Pony leaps into the air right off the tip of the Robot's leg just before the Robot explodes like a bomb.

The Pony then lands within the walls of the Kingdom, then she looks towards the camera, breaking the 4th Wall to introduce herself, and speaks with the same High Pitched voice from a moment ago saying "Hi there, yeah I mean You, the Viewers, That's Right, I know you're watching me right now".

Then she starts nonchalantly walking towards the camera as it zooms out and says "You probably have a lot of questions right now, so let me start by letting you know that you can all relax because this is not happening anywhere in Equestria, it's all actually taking place in another dimension outside the world Equestria is from".

The Pony then grabs herself by the hair & lifts herself up to dodge a solder-like being that was charging at her, then comes back down and continues talking "For those of you who don't know me, my name is Screwball", she then pulls up what looks like an iPad showing a clip of her from an earlier episode while saying "I made my debut back in the 2nd episode of Season 2, entitled Return of Harmony Part 2, the same 2 parter that introduced Discord to the Franchise".

Screwball then throws the iPad like a shurikin towards another soldier that was aiming a gun-like weapon at someone else, then the gun-like weapon is sliced in two & said someone else tackles the soldier while Screwball says "Ever since then I've been continuously traveling throughout Time, Space & various other Dimensions, defeating villainous evil-doers, bringing down malevolent tyrants & dictators, and pretty much helping others out where ever I can, but that doesn't mean I still can't get into a little mischief every now & again".

Then she snickers goofily while another soldier comes running up to her from behind carrying a blunt object to hit her with, but then Screwball is suddenly wearing a Boxing Glove on her hoof that wasn't there before & uppercuts him(and we hear a DING sound when she does that) with such great force that he's shoot up high into the air off screen while his weapon is momentarily floating in place before falling to the ground, then she tosses the Boxing Glove into her mouth & swallows it whole, then she says "Right now I'm helping the good people of (name too hard to pronounce) against the invasion of the evil (name also too hard to pronounce)".

Then we see another soldier of the invaders behind Screwball aiming what looks like a rocket launcher at Screwball, but the soldier she already knocked into the sky falls back down, and lands right on top of the soldier with the rocket launcher, both bumping their heads together, then they both fall down unconscious, while this is happening Screwball says "And with the (bad guys with the unpronounceable name)'s ultimate weapon currently destroyed the (good guys with the unpronounceable name) should be able to take care of the rest of the (bad guys with the unpronounceable name) invasion all on there own".

Screwball then stretches her forelimbs up in a manner like we sometimes do when yawn and says "So with my work here pretty much done, I think I'll return home and give this episode a bit more of that old Screwball Razzle-Dazzle".

She then pulls out a Door-Knob from behind her back while saying "Which is a cinch when you have a Trans-Dimensional-Doorknob".

She then places the Doorknob in mid-air, turns the knob & opens a door that just magically appeared right out of nowhere, she then enters the door while still looking at the camera and says "See ya in Equestria", then she closes the door & it just disappears.

Then Screwball's Hoof comes out into the foreground again, then touches the right-side of the screen and slides it to the left, causing a bunch of blurry screens to whiz by until we return to Ponyville.

Twilight then looks around all confused, then asks Spike "Did you feel something?".

Spike just shrugs like he doesn't know what Twilight is taking about.

Then we see the Opening Sequence going "My Little Pony, My Little Pony", but then Screwball interupts by having her Hoof move the Time-Bar at the bottom of the screen to zip right through the Sequence right to the MLP:FiM Logo, while saying "Yeah, yeah, we've seen this intro over 100 times already", but then she pauses the screen at the point that states *Developed for Television by Lauren Faust*, and says "Oh oh wait a second".

Then Screwball pops out of a door from the ceiling, floats around the words on the screen & says "Isn't it nice that they still credit Lauren Faust in the Opening Sequence?, Even though she hasn't actually been involved with the series since the end of Season 2?, (whispers to the camera)Creative Differences between her & Hasbro, (Regular tone)But hey credit where credit is due and all that jazz right?, And I for one am glad to have been around back when she was still involved", then Screwball kisses the T in Faust, then says "Well let's move on with the commericals shall we" then she leaves through another door that wasn't there earlier.

Author's Note

This was my first attempt at posting a fan-fic on this website, so I would only ask for Creative Criticism and to be informed if I didn't do something correctly when I posted this.

So the story is basically my idea on how Screwball ought to be depict as a character in the MLP:FiM franchise, and if she became the main focus of an actual episode of the TV Series, she would just take control of the episode itself, and do some crazy stuff that can only happen in a Cartoon, it's like she takes 4th Wall Breaking to a higher level than anyone else in the franchise has ever done so far, anyways I hope you like it.

Chapter 2

After the commercials we then see a Door open from a ceiling inside a building, then Screwball falls down from it making a Bike Horn Honking sound as she lands, then she looks down as if she landed on someone and says "Hellooo-uh-oh", as Screwball sees that she landed on Blythe from *Littlest Pet Shop*.

Screwball then picks Blythe up & dusts her off using her tail while giggling, and says "Silly Old Me, I'm in the Wrong Cartoon".

Screwball then uses her Dimensional Doorknob to open another door, Blythe is about to say something but Screwball then covers Blythe's mouth with her tail & says "Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh".

Then Screwball uses her tail to mimic a hand wagging 1 finger around while saying "Don't say anything", then using her tail points to Blythe while saying "You're not supposed to be in this episode".

Then Screwball enters the Door while saying "And I doubt that the staff & crew will want to have to unnecessarily put your name at the ending credits", then she slams the door & it disappears, then Blythe just stands there silent & scratching her head in confusion.

Then Screwball's Hoof comes out into the Foreground, while she says "(nervous laugh) Sorry about that folks", then her hoof slides the screen to the left, moving to the next screen over.

We then return to Ponyville as Twilight & Spike come walking in from off screen to the right side, while Twilight says "I don't know Spike, I just have this strange feeling that something weird is about to happen".

"Are you sure you're not just getting anxious about preparing for the Blue Moon Festival" asks Spike.

Twilight answers "No Spike, it just feel like there's something screwy going on around here".

Just then, a Door opens out of nowhere right in front of them, then Screwball leaps out, and pounces Twilight(Disney's Tigger Style), the 2 then spin around like a wheel for 2 seconds, then they stop and Screwball has Twilight pinned down.

And Screwball says "Hi Twi, What's on the Fly?".

Then with a snarky expression, Twilight says "(sigh)of course, Screwball!".

Then Screwball responds "That's me, Screwball, rhymes with Baseball, Curve Ball, Odd Ball, Bell-of-the-Ball, Yes-Yes-Y'all, and That Ain't All".

Screwball then gets off Twilight allowing her to get up, then Twilight asks "What are you doing here now?".

"Oh I was just felling rather ennui and thought, this would be a great time to come hang out with my friends in Ponyville, so here I am, ready to pal around with you, and I've got the whole episode to help liven things up around here, so what do you say, up for some fun & games?" replies Screwball.

Twilight then says "Screwball I don't have time for foolishness right now, I'm currently in the middle of my many preparations for-".

Suddenly, a promo of a canceled TV show on the Discovery Family Channel appears on the lower right corner of the screen as Twilight is still talking.

Then Screwball says "Whoa Wait a Sec, there's a promo on the screen" then Screwball peels the promo off the screen & eats it, then she says "Mmmm, Tasty, though not as Delicious as the Hub's Promos", then she pulls out a framed photo of the Hub logo, then she places the photo against her head like she's hugging it and says "I miss you Hub".

Twilight then sarcastically says "Yeah don't we all, however right now I need to concentrate on-".

Just then Screwball puts her hoof on Twilight's mouth and says "Hold up".

Screwball then sniffs around and says "I smell despondency".

Spike then sniffs and confusingly says "That's not what I smell".

Screwball then tells Twilight "Don't go away, I'll be right back".

Screwball then flies towards her desired location within Ponyville, where she finds the Cutie Mark Crusaders lying around like they're bored or something.

We then see a colorful sphere the size of a softball roll in front of the CMC, then it pops like a firecracker & out comes Screwball who then says "Well if it ain't my favorite triumphant trio of fillies".

The CMC then excitingly say "Screwball!".

"Now what's got you 3 looking like you're feeling under the weather" said Screwball while opening an Umbrella like she's expecting it to rain, only to have it rain on the inside of the umbrella, causing Screwball to get so wet that her bangs/fringe end up covering her eyes.

"Oh, we're all fine" said Applebloom.

"We're just bored, that's all" said Sweetie Belle.

"Ya, there's just nothing fun or exciting to do right now" said Scootaloo.

We then see Screwball toweling herself off and says "Well you want to know something I like to do when I get a case of the Doldrums".

She then she wraps her towel into a whip, then cracks the whip off screen, then uses the towel to pull DJ-Pon3's Turn-Tables on screen, then says "Get On Up".

Then uses her towel like a magician's cloth, having it cover her left hoof, then pulls it off with her right hoof to reveal a shiny Disco-Ball that floats in the air all by itself, then says "And Dance".

Then Screwball pulls DJ-Pon3(aka Vinyl Scratch) from behind the Turn-Tables, then Screwball says "How's 'bout some tunes Vinyl?".

Then Vinyl says(with a Raspy, Deep Toned, yet Feminine Voice that sounds like Tara Strong using her Raven of Teen Titans voice, but with more of an upbeat, street smart kind of attitude)"Got any requests?".

"All your Favorites mixed together" said Screwball.

"Ahh Yeah, Time to Jam to the Remix" said Vinyl.

Then as DJ-Pon3 plays her music, Screwball and the CMC get up & start dancing.

"Wha-What in Tarnation is going on here" said Applebloom.

"I don't know, I just can't stop dancing" said Sweetie Belle.

"Yeah it's like my body is moving all on it's own" said Scootaloo.

"Well that's the idea" said Screwball, "This is a Special Disco-Ball that emits Special Lights that forces you to dance uncontrollable, but only while there's music playing, once the music stops playing, You stop dancing, so you don't even have to worry about dancing on your own, your body will just do it all by itself, and this is the perfect moment for a song".

Then Screwball begins singing a song in the unique style of Christopher Nicholas "Nick" Bertke, other wise known by his stage name of "Pogo", using her ability to mimic voices and sound effects, Screwball sings various small sounds from earlier episodes & multiple quotes from other characters, while Vinyl Scratch is remixing a bunch of samples from earlier songs & commonly used background melodies, all of it coming together to form a new song that last for no more than 2 Minutes.

Once the Song ends & the Music stops Screwball & the CMC stop dancing, then they all laugh.

"Wow Screwball, that was so much fun" said Scootaloo.

"Now that's more like it" said Screwball "If you can't find something for you to do, you can always Make something to do yourself".

Then Screwball floats over to DJ-Pon-3 and says "And thanks for bringing such a wub-tastic beat Vinyl".

"Hey No Prob, and thanks to you I got a sick new mix in my musical arsenal" said Vinyl Scratch.

"That was so great I just want to dance some more" said Sweetie Belle.

"Ahh Yeah, then it's time for an Encore" said Vinyl.

Then DJ-Pon3 plays that song again & since the Disco Ball is still going, the CMC start Dancing again.

Chapter 3

Meanwhile we rejoin Twilight & Spike who have been running around trying to get away from Screwball, they stop to catch their breath then Twilight says "I think we lost her, Spike".

Suddenly something strange starts coming out of Twilight's right ear.

Which pops into the form of Screwball's Head with an elongated neck, and Screwball says "Well now I wouldn't say that."

Screwball then stretches her forelimbs out of Twilight's ear to wrap around Twilight's head & Screwball gives Twilight a big kiss on the check, then Screwball pulls herself back into Twilight's Ear.

Then Twilight places her Front Hooves on the sides of her head while saying "Gah, Screwball, Get Out Of My Head!".

Suddenly a big round thing that looks just like the Spiraled Iris of Screwball appears floating right next to Twilight as we hear Screwball say "Who says I am?".

Then the Camera zooms out and we see that somehow Twilight is in Screwball's right eye, then Screwball says "Maybe You're in My head".

Then Screwball lifts up her beanie to reveal a lit fuse attached to her head like she was a bomb and says "Mind Blowing, isn't it?".

Then we see a smokey explosion with the same squeaky sound effect as Pinkie Pie's Party Cannon.

But Screwball then takes that scene from the foreground & crumbles it up like it all happened on a sheet of paper, and we end up back in Ponyville with Screwball standing in front of Twilight & Spike, then Screwball says to Twilight "Well that was a blast".

Then Screwball takes the paper and says "How about trying our hooves at Origami?".

She then presents Twilight with an Origami Swan and says "Look, A Beautiful Swan", then the Origami Swan comes to life, making the cry of a swan, then flies away.

Screwball then asks Twilight "Pretty Cool am I right?".

Twilight replies "Yes, But, I have to-"

But then Screwball interrupts Twilight saying "Wait wait wait, I got to hear that again".

Then Screwball takes out what looks like a TV Remote, then she apparently uses the remote to rewind time back to a few seconds ago to make Twilight repeat something she said earlier.

We then see Screwball using her remote to make Twilight say "But, But, But, But, But, But, But, Bu-, Gah!".

Then Screwball then puts away her remote, then takes off her head with a POP sound, then starts shaking her head around making a bunch of sounds like a box full of junk rattling around, then she screws her head back on to her body and says "Now let's listen to all of that sped-up".

Screwball then makes her eyes spin around while she makes gibberish sounds like she imitating a Tape-Recorder, then she closes her eyes to make a click sound, and keeps her mouth open and from out of her mouth comes the same sounds that she made Twilight say, only it's playing at a faster speed & she repeats it 3 times.

Then Screwball opens her eyes, points at Twilight and says "You sound like a Chicken!", then she falls to her back laughing like a loon.

Twilight makes an annoyed look and asks Screwball "Can't you be Serious about Anything At All?".

Screwball then gets up, wraps her left fore limb around Twilight's neck and replies "Oh I'm Always Serious about Everything, just ask Jem and the Holograms".

"Who?" Spike Asks.

Screwball then pats Spike on the head while saying "If you Need to ask, It's better that you Don't, trust me on that, I've seen things you'd never even think to believe".

Twilight then asks "Screwball, can you please just-".

But Screwball interupts Twilight again and says "Hang on!".

Screwball then looks around and says "Something Funny, this way comes".

Spike goes "Huh?".

Screwball then says "Excuse me a moment", then she hops on an Invisible Motorcycle, revs it up with the hoof of her hind-leg, we then see spinning motions that would belong to the Invisible wheels, and the ground peels out as Screwball performs a wheelie, then she Vrooms away going off screen.

We then see Pinkie Pie bouncing along minding her own business, when she suddenly stops, looks around, then makes a suspicious "Hmmm?".

Then Screwball falls down from the sky right in front of Pinkie and says "Hey!", then Screwball starts moving all around the screen doing all sorts of weird & random stuff while singing "Pinkie, Pinkie, Bo-Binkie, Banana-Fana Fo-Finkie, Fee-Fy-Mo-Minkie", then Screwball Pops the upper half of her body out from inside Pinkie's Mane & sings "Pinkie!".

Pinkie then excitingly says "Screwball!" as Screwball floats the rest of the way out of Pinkie's Mane.

The 2 Mares then wrap their fore limbs multiple times around each other to order to Hug each other really tight.

Then when they left go, their fore limbs begin spinning around like helicoptor propellers, and when they stop, the 2 Mares suddenly see that they accidentally got each other's fore limbs, but Screwball says "Oops, I'll fix this".

Screwball then grabs Pinkie by the front hooves, then has Pinkie's Arms pop off Screwball's Torso, then Pinkie's Arms pull Screwball's Arms off Pinkie's Torso with a POP, then the 2 pairs of Arms flip around & Pinkie's Arms pop back into Pinkie's Torso, and Screwball's Arms pop back into Screwball's Torso, and Screwball says "Much Better".

Pinkie then looks at her Arms and says to Screwball "Wow, can you teach me That trick?".

Screwball says "Well, not today, But I will teach you another handy trick you can use".

"Oh goody goody" said Pinkie.

Screwball says "First things first, let's set things up", then she pulls out a Cooking TV Show style kitchen set-up from off screen.

When Pinkie sees the set up she asks "Oohhh, Are we going to bake a cake?"

Screwball replies "We sure are, only we're going to use an extra special technique to do it with", while she takes her beanie & flips it inside out to turn it into a chef's hat, then reaches into it to pull out a 2nd chef's hat & tosses it onto Pinkie's head.

"Now let's start with making the cake batter" says Screwball.

Screwball and Pinkie then add all of the necessary ingredients, perfectly measured into the mixing bowls.

Then Screwball says "Now it's time to mix all the ingredients together, (gasp!)but wait, we don't have any whisks, not a problem, now watch this".

Screwball then takes one of her hooves, then uses her other hoof to twist the 1st hoof like the wind-up key on a wind-up toy, then she quickly lets go, grabs the mixing bowl, sticks her wound-up hoof in the bowl, and makes like a handheld electric mixer, once her hoof stops she pulls out her hoof and says "And Viola', one bowl of perfectly mixed cake batter ready to be baked, a very useful trick if you don't have access to a whisk, mixer or even a spoon, and best of all you can taste the batter & clean your hoof off at the same time", then she sticks her hoof in her mouth.

"Wooow!" said Pinkie.

Pinkie then tries that herself, but ends up hurting herself.

"How did you do that?" Pinkie asks Screwball after she washed her hooves.

"It's simple" said Screwball after washing her hooves in a kitchen sink.

Screwball then shows Pinkie how to perform the Mixer Hoof Trick, holding onto Pinkie's hooves while telling her "Start by applying a little pressure to the crook of your hock, then bob your hoof back and forth twice, then lightly press down on your hoof, then begin turning it to the right about ten times".

And sure enough Pinkie's hoof starts winding up, then Screwball lets go so that Pinkie can do it on her own, then Screwball brings out Pinkie's mixing bowl, then Pinkie places her hoof in the mixing bowl and successfully mixes the batter.

"I did it I did it" Pinkie excitedly said.

"Great" said Screwball, "But don't forget to wash your hooves before and after each use, and now we can bake an entire tier of cake".

Screwball and Pinkie then pour their batters into baking pans, then place each of them in the 2 fast-baking ovens.

Screwball turns to Pinkie and says "Now to help you get the hang of that trick better, I want you to do that about 8 more times, then you'll have enough to make a 10-tier cake.

"10-whole-tiers?!" said Pinkie, "Gosh, I've never made a cake that big all on my own before".

"What's wrong, don't think you've got what it'll Take, to Make, that Cake?" asks Screwball.

Pinkie replies "Oh I know I've got what it'll Take alright, I'm wide Awake, quick as a Snake & I don't need a Break, I'll Bake like my very life was at Stake, because I'm no Fake for Pete's Sake, and I guarantee that out of every Cake I ever did Bake, this Cake is going to Take the Cake, you get my Uptake?!".

"As sure as my name ain't Jake the Drake, who causes a Quake everytime he jumps in a Lake in the shape of a Rake" said Screwball.
The 2 Mares then drop down to the ground laughing, [ya they are very random aren't they?].

Chapter 4

Meanwhile returning to Twilight and Spike who have been running around some more, hoping to have ditched Screwball, they stop to catch their breath and Twilight says "Maybe now we can get back to more important business at hoof".

Suddenly Twilight makes a Hiccup/Croak-like sound accompanied by a shocked facial expression, then she lifts her hoof up to the top of her head, then somehow she unzips herself like she was in disguise & out comes Screwball, then Screwball somehow zips up Twilight back to normal like nothing happened to her at all.

Twilight then touches her head & torso in a panicking manner while taking in frightened gibberish.

Then Twilight turns to Screwball and shouts "Stop Doing That!", then says "Seriously, sometimes I can't even tell if I'm Real or Not when you're around!".

With a close-up of Screwball's face she looks towards the camera & says "Don't tell her Folks, at this point she'd be lucky if all she got was an Aneurysm".

Then Spike asks "What?".

Screwball replies "Oh, just that knowing too much of the truth can really hit you like a Ton of Bricks".

Suddenly a bunch of Bricks falls down from the sky & lands right on Screwball's head, then Screwball sticks her head out from the top of the Brick Pile, looks straight up & shouts "Hey, I said a TON, Where the Cinder-block?".

Then sure enough a Cinder-block falls down & lands on Screwball's head, then Screwball says in a muffled voice "That's more like it", then Screwball bounces the Bricks & Cinder-block off herself by having a huge coiled spring pop out out between her mane & her hat, sending the Bricks & Cinder-block off screen to some unknown location.

Screwball then says to Twilight "So anyways, up for a game of Jenga?", while Screwball pulls out a long, thin Jenga like block from the center of her own body, leaving a rectangular hole in her body.

Then Screwball falls apart like a Jenga Tower, while still in that pile of herself, the block with her mouth on it says "That game always makes me go all to pieces".

With the camera centered on Twilight & Spike, Twilight says "Honestly Screwball, will you just-".

But Screwball interrupts Twilight again, looks at a weird-looking pocket watch on a spring that popped out of a small compartment on her beanie & says "Oh hold that thought, it's time for the commercial break, hey to spice this moment up, let's do an Eye-Catch".

"A What?" asks Spike.

Screwball then replies "This".

Then Screwball pulls a picture down like a window shade, the picture depicts Screwball taking off her hat to reveal a Jack-in-the-Box toy popping out of the top of her head, a bunch of foals around her think that's weird, but Derpy(who's also there) looks at this with amazement, then we hear Screwball say "We'll be right back after these important messages", then we go to the commercials.

After the Commercials we see a different Eye-Catch picture depicting Pinkie Pie on a dirt road, holding a Red Balloon tied to a string with the string in her mouth, and Pinkie is looking behind herself with confusion as she sees Princess Celestia angrily chasing after Screwball, who is somehow holding the Sun like a Balloon tied to a string with the String in her mouth while floating away from Celestia, we then hear Screwball say "And now back to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic".

Then the Eye-Catch shoots upwards like a window shade rolling back up, and we see that Twilight & Spike are still standing around looking annoyed in a bored way, but Screwball has for some reason already started a Barbecue Grill surrounded by a Brick Chimney, then with the camera centered on Screwball she looks behind herself to look at the camera, then she says "Aww back already, and I just got this Barbecue Pit goin', oh well".

Then we see another Screwball breaking the 4th wall by pushing the scene over to the left of the screen so she can take a moment to give an explaination about something she thinks might be puzzling the viewers.

Screwball then says "You're all probably still wondering exactly how I'm able to do all of these crazy things aren't you, we'll the answer is actually quite simple, I learned them all because of Discord".

Screwball then has a bunch of pictures & video clips appearing to give her visual aids as she explains "You see I wasn't always the Peculiar Pony you see before you, Originally I was just an ordinary Earth Pony who grew-up as an orphan with no friends or family, not even a cutiemark, sad to say I was one Pitiful Pony living a Miserable Life, until the day Discord 1st came to Ponyville to start spreading his Chaos, while everyone else panicked at what he was doing, I was awestruck by how he could take the bland & dull, and make it all whimsical & fun, Not Everypony sees Chaos as a Bad Thing you know, I was so amazed by what he could do that I wanted to join him, Neigh, I wanted to Be like him, Discord took pity on me & offered to give me what I wanted, though he did say it could be dangerous, but I didn't care because I had nothing to live for & nothing to lose, so I gladly accepted his offer, Discord then used his magic to permanently alter my DNA so that I would become partially Draconequus, this caused me to change into who you see before you, and not only did I finally get my Cutie Mark, but I also received at least half the same power as Discord's, not enough to Warp reality like he does, but still enough to Defy reality & perform feats based on the laws of Cartoon Physics, it also filled my head with the vast knowledge of the Cosmos, making me unimaginably smart, but also made me extremely wacky, in the end I pretty much became like the Daughter that Discord never had, so he decided to make it official & adopted me, which makes Discord my Daddy, ever since then I've been using my new abilities to go around and help others out so that they don't have to be miserable like I used to be, and after resolving a little dispute with Pinkie Pie, I began teaching her all sorts of new tricks that she & just about anypony else could do, though most of the stuff that I've been doing since Season 2 has always happened off screen or in between episodes, so none of you viewers would know any of this, but we can cover more on those later on".

Then the scene returns from the left side of the screen, slamming into the Screwball that was giving this explanation, and carrying her away going off screen to the right side so that we can return to the episode at hoof.

Screwball then holds a huge pad of paper & a big marker up to Twilight & Spike and asks "So Anyways, Who's up for Pictionary?".

Twilight then says "Screwball, if you would just-".

But Twilight is interrupted yet again, this time by an extremely loud growling sound coming from Screwball's stomach, Screwball then says "Don't Move, I'll be right back", then she uses the marker to draw a tunnel on the paper, then run right in through the tunnel as if it were real, Spike then examines the tunnel, but it just acts like a regular drawing on a sheet of paper.

We then come to Applejack at her stand selling some of her apple products, then Screwball zips in stopping right at A.J.'s stand and says "Hi-Ya Jackie".

Applejack sighs in annoyance and says "Howdy there Screwball, so What can I do ya fer".

Screwball replies "Let me try your Ware".

A.J. then says "And by Ware, I assume you mean you want a Pie, right?, That'll be 8 bits please".

Screwball then hands A.J. the money while saying "Looks like you still remember that little tid-bit, don'tcha?".

A.J. gives Screwball the Pie while saying "After the 1st time we went through that, how could I ferget?".

Screwball then says "Ya that was pretty fun, hey, let's watch that again".

Screwball then uses her tail like a hand, pulls out a small TV set from behind her back, then turns on the TV, then we see some static until the camera zooms into the TV, and clears into the time that the 2 Mares were talking about.

We then see Applejack's stand from an earlier time, then Screwball comes along.

Applejack says "Howdy there partner, what can I do ya fer on this fine day?".

Screwball replies "Let me try your Ware".

"My What?" says Applejack.

"Not your What your Ware, Let me try your Ware" says Screwball.

"What Ware, I got no Ware?" asks A.J.

"You know What Ware, Any Ware" says Screwball.

"Who's got Ware?" asks A.J.

"You got Ware!" says Screwball.

"I don't got Ware!" says A.J.

A.J. then points to the right & the camera pans over to another Mare, one who is growing flower beds full of Hamamelidaceae in front of a house, and even has a Hamamelis for a Cutie Mark, while A.J. says "Ask Her, maybe She's got Ware".

We then hear Screwball ask "And who's she?"

We then hear A.J. reply "She's Witch Hazel", while we see Witch Hazel wave back at A.J.

We then return the camera over to A.J.'s stand & Screwball asks "Witch Hazel?"

Applejack then replies "Ya, see if she's got Ware".

"What Ware?" asks Screwball.

"Witch's Ware!" says A.J.

"What?" asks Screwball.

"No, Ware!" says A.J.

"What's Nowhere?" asks Screwball.

"This whole conversation! Why don't we try this again from the top?" asks A.J.

"Cuz I can't quit til' I get a Pie" says Screwball.

"A Pie? I thought ya said Ware?" asks A.J.

"Same thing, Your Pies are your Wares" says Screwball.

"Well why didn't ya just say so! That'll be 8 bits please" says A.J.

Screwball gives Applejack the money while A.J. hands Screwball the pie.

We then get a close up of Screwball as she sighs in joy, then she splats the pie on her own face, then says "That's Better".

We then get a close up of A.J. and she asks "How is That Better?".

We then return to our close up of Screwball who replies "Cuz now I'm finally getting some-Ware".

The screen then starts to static again and we zoom out from the small TV.

Then with another close up of Screwball she says "Ahh yes, good times, good times".

Screwball then splats herself with the pie she bought at the start of all of this, then says "And the good times just keep on coming", then she slurps the pie off her face & eats it.

Then Screwball leaves by bouncing on her tail like Disney's Tigger while giggling in a manner similar to Daffy Duck's, Goofy's or Woody Woodpecker's trademark laugh.

We then see Witch Hazel walk over to Applejack while still looking at Screwball, then Witch looks at A.J. with a confused look in her face, then A.J. just covers her eyes with her hoof & slowly shakes her head left & right.

Author's Note

A special thanks to Astringe and PonyPon for inspiring the ideas for the Eye Catch Pics.

Chapter 5

We then rejoin Twilight & Spike who are still trying to ditch Screwball.

"Hopefully now we finally got away from her" said Twilight.

Suddenly a piece of the background from the left side of the screen flips around like a classic rotating book case that leads to a secret room from a mystery story, and Screwball appears on the left side of the screen and says to Twilight(who is on the right side of the screen) "Ya moved, didn'tcha?".

"Gah!" Twilight shouts in a startled manner.

Twilight then asks Screwball in a frustrated manner "How did you even do that?!".

"Do what?" Screwball asks.

"That coming right out of nowhere thing you just did" says Twilight.

"What you mean flip the background around?" Screwball asks, "pphhtt, Anypony can do That, it's easy, here, watch & learn".

Screwball then takes her forelimb & hits the background as if it were a wall, then the entire screen rotates around with such great speed that Spike is sent flying to the left & goes off screen, while Twilight ends up on the left side of the screen & Screwball ends up on the right side, but something weird has just happened to Twilight & Screwball, they somehow swapped species with each other, meaning that Twilight is now an Earth Pony while Screwball is an Alicorn.

Twilight gasps in shock.

Then Screwball says "Sorry, stuff like this sometimes happens when I do that, (giggles) guess this makes Me an Alicorn Princess now".

"I don't think so" says Twilight.

Twilight then looks at the background and says "Hmm, so you did that like This?".

Twilight then hits the background causing it to quickly flip around again, placing Twilight on the right side of the screen while Screwball is on the left side, and they've returned to their normal species, only now they've swapped color schemes, meaning now Twilight's coat is purple-ish pink with her mane now dark purple with white streaks etc., while Screwball's coat is now grayish purple with her mane now dark blue with pink highlights etc.

When Twilight sees this she gasps in horror.

"You know that is a pretty good look for you" says Screwball.

Twilight growns in frustration, then flips the background around again.

The 2 mares return to normal, only now they're skiing down some snowy mountains, riding on a pair of skis built for 2, with Twilight on the left side of the screen while Screwball is on the right, both of them have determined looks on their faces until Twilight looks towards the camera with a confused look on her face, then she makes a serious face & flips the background around again.

Suddenly Twilight & Screwball are up on a stage(Twilight on the right & Screwball on the left), both dressed-up in Russian-style clothes, are surrounded by 2 Bison both dressed in Russian-style garb, and the 4 of them are doing a Russian Cossack Dance(similar to how some of the Picnic Ants in the 1947 Looney Tunes short "The Gay Anties" did after eating some Russian Rye Bread), they do the Squat Kick move to the music going *da-da-da-da-da-da da-da-da-da-da-da* then they all shout "HEY!", then they all place their left hooves at the top of their heads and step-dance to the left of the stage(with the camera panning to the left in order to follow them), and the music goes *da-da-da-da-da-da da-da-da-da-da-da* then they all shout "HEY!", and Twilight manages to flip the background around again right at that point.

Then we end up in a baby nursery, and now Twilight & Screwball have turned into babies lying on their backs in baby baskets that are facing each other(Twilight on the left & Screwball on the right), and Twilight is sucking on a pacifier while Screwball just makes a bunch of adorable baby gibberish & giggles, then Screwball flips the background again.

Twilight & Screwball return to full-grown mares, only now their designs look like Generation 3.5 MLP Ponies(Twilight on the right & Screwball on the left), Twilight then says "Eeeeww!", then flips the background around again.

Then Twilight & Screwball get redesigned to look like Generation 3.0 Ponies(Twilight on the left & Screwball on the right), Twilight then says "Gross!", then flips the background around again.

Then Twilight & Screwball get redesigned to look like G2 MLP Ponies(Twilight on the right & Screwball on the left), Twilight then says "Blech!", then flips the background around again.

Then Twilight & Screwball get redesigned to look like G1 MLP Ponies(Twilight on the left & Screwball on the right), Twilight then says in a more satisfactory manner "huh, well this one's actually not half-bad", then flips the background around again.

Suddenly the 2 Mares end up surrounded by a pride of Manticores both Males & Females(Twilight on the right & Screwball on the left), while Screwball makes a happy face at all of this, Twilight gets so scared that she leaps into Screwball's forelimbs Scooby-Doo style and let's out a medium pitched scream, then flips the background around again.

Suddenly the 2 Mares end up surrounded by the heads of a Hydra(Twilight on the right & Screwball on the left), but now Screwball is in Twilight's forelimbs Scooby-Doo style, Screwball is still making a happy face, but Twilight let's out slightly higher pitched scream, then flips the background around again.

Suddenly then 2 Mares end up in a cave cornered by a Bug-bear on the right side of the screen, and both mares are on the left side of the screen, only now Screwball is standing on top of Twilight's back in the style of *We Bare Bears*, Screwball is still making a happy face, and a frightened Twilight goes "Eeeheee!", then flips the background around again.

The 2 Mares lose their balance after that last flip & fall down landing back on the left side of the screen, this time they end up in what appears to be the old Golden Oak Library, looking exactly how Twilight & Spike left it before Tirek blew it up, Twilight gets up & looks at the background, then asks "Whoa wait a minute, Isn't this the-", but while Twilight is talking Screwball gets up, moves to the right side of the screen, then flips the background around again before Twilight can even finish her question.

The 2 Mares then end up in what looks like the tower of the Crystal Empire's Castle, the one where King Sombra originally hid the Crystal Heart(Twilight on the right & Screwball on the left), when Twilight notices this she looks at Screwball and shouts "HEY!", then Twilight moves to the left of the screen & pushes Screwball to the right of the screen while saying "Go back, Go Back!", Twilight then flips the background around again.

Suddenly the 2 Mares end up in a cave with a huge fire-breathing Dragon in the Background guarding a mountain of gold & jewels(Twilight on the right & Screwball on the left), when Twilight notices the dragon she goes "Eeeeek!", then the dragon who already noticed them breathes fire at them, as the fire breath is coming towards them Twilight shouts "GO FORWARD!", then flips the background before the fire can hit them.

Suddenly the 2 Mares become game pieces of a *Connect 4* game(looking like the game pieces are windows with Twilight & Screwball inside them), then another Screwball game piece drops down to make 4 in a row, then all of the Screwball pieces shout "Connect Four!", then the Screwballs flip the background.

Suddenly we see Twilight is a game piece of a *Sorry* board game(with her head on the top of the game piece & her tail is sticking out from the lower section), then a Screwball game piece slides in from the right off screen & knocks the Twilight game piece off screen to the left, then Screwball says "Sorry", then uses her tail to flip the background.

Suddenly the 2 Mares become pegs in a car game piece in the *Game of Life* board game(with their heads on the top of the pegs & their tails sticking out), the car is moving to the left with the camera panning to follow it to the left, Screwball is in the front of the car with Twilight right behind her, the car stops at an unknown square, then Screwball says "Woohoo, That's how you play it in the Game of Life", then she flips the background again.

Suddenly the 2 Mares are floating in pitch black nothingness, and are just outlines of themselves made of a bunch of dots of light like a *Lite-Brite*(Twilight on the left & Screwball on the right), then Screwball says "Whoa look at us, we're made out of lights that shine so bright", then Screwball becomes a spiraling line that passes through Twilight while saying "We're like beautiful colors-", then Screwball reforms herself on the left side of the screen & says "-Come to Life".

Then Twilight(who's now on the right side of the screen sarcastically says "Yeah, that's groovy", then flips the background around again.

Suddenly the 2 Mares become claymated versions of themselves made of *Play-Doh*(Twilight on the left & Screwball on the right), they start as puddle-like blobs, then they form into Pony shapes, then Screwball says "Wow, it looks like we're made of some kind of Dough that you're supposed to Play with, if you catch my word-play".

Twilight then just does a face palm & says "Doh!", then she flips the background.

Suddenly the 2 Mares have turned into MLP:FiM style Dragon versions of themselves(Twilight on the right & Screwball on the left), and Screwball belches out some fire, then beats her chest with one hand & says "Hoo, got to lay off those Spicy Radish Omelets for breakfast", then she flips the background.

Suddenly the 2 Mares have become Female Humanoid *Transformers* versions of themselves(Twilight on the left & Screwball on the right), the two look at each other & go "Huh?", then they leap up & transform into their Pony Forms, then they look at each other for a second, then Screwball says "Maybe it's better that you DON'T ask about that".

Twilight just goes "Agreed", then she flips the background.

Suddenly the 2 Mares are floating in Outer Space, and they both look like Equinoid Aliens(Twilight on the right & Screwball on the left), Twilight is now green with 6 legs & no wings, while Screwball is now red with 3 tentacled eyes like a slug, neither of them say a word, and after a few seconds Twilight just flips the background.

Suddenly the 2 Mares are back to normal(Twilight on the left & Screwball on the right), and they're on some snow covered mountains, with Twilight standing right next to a train tunnel, we then hear a train whistle blowing to indicate that a train will be coming, Twilight looks down the tunnel then goes "Daahh!".

Then Screwball starts whirling her forelimb around & around until it looks like a tornado, then she Slams the background with such tremendous force, that the background begins endlessly rotating at great speeds, Twilight & Screwball both get caught in the rotation, and are stuck to the wall of the background like they were on a Centrifugal Force simulator used to train astronauts(Twilight on the right & Screwball on the left), Screwball then says "Wheeee, Isn't this Fun?!".

Then Twilight shouts "Somepony Stop This Crazy Thing!".

Screwball then shrugs with a sigh and says "If That's what you want", then she lifts her forelimb up, then slams it back down on the background that she's pinned to, then the background stops so instantly fast that both Twilight & Screwball are thrown off screen to the right.

We then hear a splash from off screen & see some water come in from the right of the screen, the camera then pans over to the right, and we see that Twilight & Screwball have landed head first into a full barrel of water, all we see are their lower halves sticking out of the barrels mouth(Twilight on the left side of the barrel & Screwball on the right side).

Then Twilight struggles to move while trying to talk, but all we hear are a bunch of Blubbing sounds, and while Twilight is doing this Screwball makes her tail get into a question mark like pose, then Screwball uses her tail like a hand to pull on a string attached to the barrel that just came right out of nowhere, then the barrel opens like the blades of Window Blinds, but that only makes it like a window into the barrel so we can see into the barrel but the water doesn't move.

Then we see Screwball look at Twilight's face & she actually speaks but with a gurgle in her voice, and Screwball says "I'm sorry What did you say?".

Then Twilight pushes her face into Screwball's and angrily makes a bunch more Blubbing sounds.

Then Screwball nonchalantly says with a gurgle in her voice "Oh that's what I thought you said".

Then Screwball uses her tail like a hand, grabs the lower-left corner of the barrel, then peels the whole barrel off like it was a sticker & throws it off screen, the water from the barrel lingers in place for about 2 seconds, then falls down with a splash leaving Twilight & Screwball soaking wet.

The 2 Mares get up then they shake themselves dry, Twilight remains the same, but Screwball puffs up so badly that she looks like a *Koosh Ball* with eyes, that starts floating off the ground, Screwball then giggles & says "Just call me Fluff-Ball".

Spike returns to Twilight side and says "Twilight, are you alright?".

Twilight just frustratingly says "Let's just go Spike".

Then Twilight and Spike start walking towards the left of the screen with the camera following them.

We then see Screwball climbing up a tall wooden ladder while saying "That was fun, so what do you want to play now?", then she falls but opens a parachute and as she floats down she says "Chutes & Ladders?", then she lands on an old spring mattress that bounces her off screen, but Twilight ignores it.

We then see a pile of hay with an upside-down pitch-fork sticking out of it, and a hippopotamus standing close to it, and Screwball is sitting in the Hippo's wide-opened mouth, and she says "What about Hungry Hungry Hippos?", then the Hippo closes it's mouth & appears to have swallowed Screwball, but Twilight ignores it.

But then a hatch(that wasn't there before) opens at the flank of the Hippo & Screwball comes out wearing a Top Hat with a Big White Mustache, a Monocle & a Cane, and she says "Maybe Monopoly?", but Twilight still ignores it, and Screwball makes a curious look at Twilight.

Then Screwball flies right in front of Twilight and says "Ooh ooh I know".

With a close up of Screwball she reaches behind her back while saying "How's about one of my all time favorites", then she pulls something out from her back and says "Pin the Tail on the Pony", and we see that Screwball's holding what looks like Twilight's Tail in her hock.

When Twilight sees this, she makes a shocked expression in her face, then looks at her now tail-less butt and says "Hey!".

Then Twilight uses her magic to grab & pluck her own tail from Screwball's hock and says "Gimme That!".

Then Twilight sticks her tail back in it's rightful place(making a Click-Click sound when she does it), then she wags it around a bit to see if it stays in place.

"You Won, YAY!" said Screwball in a cheerful manner.

Twilight then takes a deep breath and tries her best to have a calm conversation with Screwball, Screwball just floats in the air while Twilight says "Listen, Screwball, I appreciate that you want to be friends and hang out and stuff, I really do, but right now I don't have time for such things, I've got more urgent matters that require my undivided attention".

Screwball then points behind Twilight & says "Oh you mean like the fact that Ponyville's been under attack by a Bicorn for like 5 minutes now and all you've been doing is letting yourself get too distracted by my Screwball Antics to even realize it?".

Twilight calmly says "Exactly, that's why you need to WHAT?!"(making a shocked expression on her face at the end of that sentence).

Twilight then looks at Screwball and asks "Did you say Bicorn?!".

Screwball then says "I don't think now would be a good time to go & Buy Corn, in case you haven't noticed, there's an Evil Carnivorous Cow-Panther Monster running around Ponyville trying to eat any pony that gets in his path".

Twilight then frustratingly says "Screwball, a Bicorn is an Evil Carnivorous Cow-Panther Monster!".

Screwball then says "And what it took you this long to figure out what a Bicorn was?", Screwball then poses like she's sitting in a chair and says "I figured with all of those books you read you would have already known what a Bicorn was a long time ago", then she takes out a ceramic teacup full of a drink and says "And they say you're supposed to be the smart one", then she nonchalantly sips the drink in her cup.

Twilight is so stressed out now that she can't even form a sentence, like "Screwball, I know what a-", "I've been trying-", "You kept-", "I am the-", "You d-", "I -", then she lets out a huge angry scream, then zips away to the right going off screen.

Screwball is still just floating in her sitting position & says to Spike "That Mare really needs to learn how to deal with stress", then Screwball bites a piece of her cup off & chews on it like she's eating her ceramic teacup.

We then shift to a scene where a bunch of Ponies are running around some buildings screaming their heads off, then the Bicorn slides in from around said buildings chasing after those Ponies wanting to Eat them, and we get a good look at this Monster, it's at least as Big as a Minotaur, with a huge buff frame, Panther-like fore-limbs with paws & claws, Bull-like rear-limbs with hooves, a Panther-like tail with a Bull-like hair-tip at the end of the tail, the upper part of it's head has the horns & ears of a Bull, and the lower part of it's head has the muzzle, nose & mouth full of sharp teeth of a Panther, and makes a sound that's like a cross between a Bull's Moo & a Panther's Roar(a Moar if you will), ya this is one big & ugly brute, plus because bovines are able to talk in MLP:FiM, since this creature is part Bull it is able to talk.

The Bicorn chases after a random background pony while it Moars then says "Come here you succulent little morsel!".

When the Bicorn has the pony cornered, Twilight zaps the beast with a laser from off screen to the right, the Bicorn looks over to see Twilight, Twilight then says "Leave them alone!".

The Bicorn looks at Twilight and says "Oooh, An Alicorn, you don't see very many of them these days, and if there's one thing I like it's Rare Delicacies, sure I've dined on plenty of Earth Ponies, Pegasi & Unicorns, but I've never had Alicorn before".

Twilight says "And you're not going to today either, Now Get Out Of Our Town!"

Twilight then blasts the Bicorn with the most powerful magic blast that she can muster, unfortunately Bicorns in Equestria are known for their great resiliency to various forms of Magic, especially Pony Magic, so the Bicorn just endures Twilight's Magic Blast like it was just a harmless sandstorm, then the Bicorn laughs and says "Is That All You Got?!".

The Bicorn the Moars & Pounces on Twilight, pinning her to the ground with just 1 paw.

The Bicorn then says "You know, they say that Alicorns are the combination of Earth Ponies, Pegasi & Unicorns, let's see if you taste like all 3 of them mixed together", then licks his lips getting ready to devour Twilight.

Suddenly Screwball moves the camera away from all of this to focus on herself, then she says "Oh relax everyone, we're not really going to let that monster eat Twilight, we're just cutting to commercials here for the cliff hanger effect, so we can keep you all on the edge of your seats, don't worry I promise everything will turn out hunky-dory, right after this break", then we cut to the commercial break.

Chapter 6

After the commercial break we see what looks like a TV news broadcasting room with Screwball dressed as a PNN news anchor, and there's a TV Screen that shows clips to help visually recap what happened before the commercial break, Screwball then says in a serious tone "Hello everypony, in case you're just tuning in my name is Screwball, when we last left Twilight Sparkle she was left helpless in the clutches of an Evil Bicorn that was rampaging across Ponyville trying to eat everypony, will she be able to get out of this mess?".

Suddenly the real PNN news anchor pony comes in and says "Hey, what are you doing at my desk?!".

Screwball just smiles and says in her usual silly tone "Uh...Leaving?", then she zips off screen leaving her news anchor clothes lingering in mid-air for a second before they fall down, then we see Screwball's hoof appear in the foreground, then hear Screwball say "Any-ways" and she slides the screen to the left, then we return to the scene where we originally left off.

We then see the Bicorn extend his claws getting ready to slice Twilight into bite-sized pieces, suddenly the Bicorn is hit with what appears to be a snowball from off screen to the left, the Bicorn then grabs the snow, looks at it for a second and says "Snow? At This Time of Year?!".

Then another snowball hits the Bicorn from off screen to the left, then the Bicorn looks to the left and says "Hey! Who Threw That?!".

Then a third snowball hits the Bicorn right in the eyes and he then brushes it off.

Then we see Screwball floating above ground right next to a mini-fridge full of snowballs, she then says "That would be me", then she grabs the mini-fridge with her tail, tosses it up into the air off screen, then she removes her beanie, holds it out upside-down, then the mini-fridge falls right into her beanie, then Screwball puts the hat back on her head(since she remains floating without having her beanie on her head, this reveals that she doesn't need her beanie to defy the law of Gravity).

Screwball then floats over to the Bicorn, the Bicorn is seen standing on his hind legs & holding Twilight up by the horn with his paw(preventing her from being able to use her Magic, and he asks "And just what are you supposed to be?".

Screwball replies "Oh just somepony who's surprised that someone who claims to like Rare Delicacies would be settling for an Alicorn of all things".

"What do you mean settling?" asks the Bicorn.

Screwball replies "Get with the program, Alicorns these days are a dime a dozen, I mean Equestria alone has 5 of them that are known to the public, now if you want something Really Rare you should try eating me".

"Screwball what are you doing?!" asks Twilight.

Screwball says "You see I'm not just any ordinary Earth Pony".

She then takes her right arm & pulls it back like the sleeve of a shirt to reveal a Lion's Paw while saying "I'm a Pony that's part Draconequus, the same species that Discord is"(that was just a visual gag by the way, she's not really a draconequus in a Pony suit or anything like that, it's just a joke to show the Bicorn that she's not a Full Pony).

Screwball then pushes back her pony arm & it changes back like that didn't happen while she says "So I'm pretty much the only one of my kind, there for if you want to eat something Rare, then you would go down in history as the only Bicorn to have ever eaten a Pony/Draconequus Hybrid like me".

"Screwball No, Stop!" says Twilight.

The Bicorn then says "Hmm, you know what, I like that idea"

Then the Bicorn throws Twilight off screen to the right, then turns to Screwball and says "I'll skip all these other common treats & move on to eating You".

Screwball then responds by saying "OK but I'm going to make you have to earn you're meal here", she then raspberrys the Bicorn while spinning her hind-legs around like a wheel, then she zooms away leaving a trail of fire, the Bicorn then Moars and chases after her.

We return to Applejack's stand, where Screwball stops then pulls a treasure chest full of gold & jewels out from her back, then gives it to A.J. saying "I'll take everything you got, keep the change".

Screwball then grabs A.J.'s stand & her entire inventory, then throws it at the running Bicorn, the Bicorn gets hit and has a pair of pies covering it's eyes, the Bicorn is then slipping around on the apples while saying "Whoa, whoa, I can't see-ee-ee".

Then Screwball then pulls a gymnastics bar that looks like a giant carpet staple out from behind her back while saying "Stop me if you heard this one".

She then slams the gymnastics bar deep in the ground while saying "A Bicorn walked into a bar-".

Then the Bicorn slams right into the bar, spins around a few times by the chin at great speeds, then slams front-side right into the ground.

Then Screwball concludes "-And said, OUCH!".

Screwball then giggles as Applejack comes over and says "Hey, what about my Apple Stand?!".

"I payed ya for it didn't I? I even let you keep the change!" replied Screwball.

Applejack then makes a scared face & runs away, Screwball then makes a confused face & looks behind her, then Bicorn is then heavy breathing and growling as it exhales.

Screwball then eats 1 last apple she was holding in her tail and says "Hate to eat & run, but I'm done eatin', so it's time to run", then zips away off screen, leaving a cloud of dust in the shape of her body that blows a raspberry at the Bicorn before it dissipates, the Bicorn Moars and chases after her.

We then return to DJ-Pon3 who just finished playing some of her music with a bunch of other ponies having been dancing to Screwball's Disco-Ball that makes you dance uncontrollably.

Then we see all the other ponies run screaming off screen as they see the Bicorn in the distance, Screwball then slides to a stop and says "Vinyl, play something quick".

Vinyl says "Right!", then she starts playing the mix she & Screwball made earlier.

The Bicorn then stops in his tracks & starts dancing uncontrollably.

The Bicorn then says "Whoa, Hey, What is this? I can't stop dancing".

"That's the idea" says Screwball.

"Ah Yeah, Not even a Monster can resist MY Wubs" says Vinyl Scratch.

The Bicorn then performs a dance move that purposely causes the Disco-Ball to be knocked into the ground.

As Vinyl makes a run for it, Screwball remains behind says "Hey, do you know how many years of bad luck you'll get by breaking a Mirror Ball?!".

Then Bicorn then Moars & snaps it's jaws at Screwball, fortunately Screwball manages to dodge out of the way.

Screwball then grabs one of the Bicorn's Horns with her hoof, then blows into the horn, causing the Bicorn's other horn to morph into a Trumpet-like horn as Screwball makes Horse-Track Fanfare Music come out of it, then Screwball then shouts "They're Off!" and zips away off screen, the Bicorn then Moars more aggressively and resumes chasing her.

We then rejoin Pinkie Pie as she puts the finishing touches on the 10-tier cake Screwball told her to make.

Pinkie then Phews in exhaustion & slides down a fold-up ladder and says "It took a lot of Mixing, Baking & Frosting, but I finally made my first ever 10-tier cake".

Then Screwball slides into the scene and says "And just in time too".

Screwball then grabs the cake, then floats up, with the cake in one hoof she starts winding-up for a pitch, having her arms spin around like a fan, then throws the cake at a tremendous speed.

The cake then hits the Bicorn with such great force, that the Bicorn is knocked off his 'feet' and sent flying right into the side of a house, and is pinned to the wall because he's covered in so much cake & frosting.

Screwball then says "Whoo, any fewer tiers and That wouldn't have worked, good job Pinks".

Pinkie just says "Aww, no problem".

Then we see the Bicorn peels off the wall & lands face first on to the ground, he then gets up, exhales steam from his nose, then Moars with great frustration and comes after Screwball yet again.

We then see Screwball dressed up as a Traffic Cop, she then holds up a STOP sign & blows a police whistle, which causes the Bicorn to screech to a halt.

Screwball then says "Look buster if you don't quit wrecking havoc I'm afraid I'm going to have to teach you a lesson".

The Bicorn then says "Oh Yeah, And just how do you plan on doing That?".

Screwball then says "Oh I was think of starting off with something like-".

Then Screwball hits the upper-side of the background, which causes the entire screen to flip upside-down, the Bicorn then looks up(which to us is down) & says "Huh?".

The Bicorn then falls up(which is down to us) & goes "Whaaaa!".

Screwball(without her previous outfit) then flies next to the Bicorn on the right side of the screen, then holds a hoof up to her ear & says "Uh what's that, you want me to drop an Anvil on your head?

She then takes an anvil out from behind her back and says "OK then", she then throws the anvil down off screen(which is up to the Bicorn), then she hits the lower-side of the background, which causes the entire screen to flip right-side-up.

Then the Bicorn falls and lands back on the ground, then the Bicorn looks towards the screen, then looks straight up to the sky, then the anvil lands on the Bicorn's head right between the horns.

Screwball then floats down giggling.

The Bicorn then has the anvil slide off his face, Moars then says "How did you do That?!".

Screwball replies "Like This", then she hits the upper-side of the background, causing the entire screen to flip upside-down again.

Then the Bicorn falls off screen falling down(up for him) while Screwball just floats on screen, then she looks downwards & shouts to the Bicorn "Don't Worry, I'll cushion your fall".

Then Screwball hits the lower-side of the background & flips it right-side-up.

Then she reaches out & pulls out a giant pin-cushion full of huge needles from the right off screen while saying "With an over-sized Pin Cushion!".

The Bicorn then lands butt first on the Pin Cushion, then leaps up into the air screaming "Wha-ha-ha-ha-ho!".

Then the Bicorn lands butt first in the chimney of the same Bar-be-cue pit that Screwball lit earlier, then burns his butt, leaps up into the air & shouts "Eaow!".

Then the Bicorn's face pummels through the steps of the wooden ladder Screwball used earlier while going "bbrrrrrr", then lands on the spring mattress & is sprang up into the air, he notices with 2 springs stuck in his horns, then takes the springs off.

Then the Bicorn lands butt first on the same pitch fork Screwball left in that pile of Hay earlier and shouts "Ouch!"(this causes the pitch fork's tines to get bent out of shape).

Then the Bicorn lands on the raised end of a see-saw that had the ton of bricks that Screwball had earlier on the other end, which sends the bricks up into the air, then each brick lands on the Bicorn's Head & Butt one by one(making the sound of a descending xylophone as they hit him).

Then the cinder-block lands on the other end of the seesaw, catapulting the Bicorn to right back where he started, then the Bicorn lands face first on the same anvil that hit him on the head, then he collapses with the anvil in front of his head.

Screwball is floating right next to him, performing back-flips as she laughs like a loon, then she says "OH that was so funny I can't watch it only once, good thing I don't have to".

Screwball then reaches behind her back to pull out the same remote control she had earlier while saying "Not when I have a Trans-Universal Remote Control".

Then the Bicorn Moars as he gets up & tosses the anvil to the left off screen, then raises his arms up like he plans to strangle Screwball and says "Why You Little-!".

But before the Bicorn can finish that sentence, Screwball presses a button on her remote and says "Rewind".

And sure enough the episode rewinds back to an earlier period, Screwball floats over to the left side of the screen then presses another button on her remote and says "Pause".

Then we see that the Bicorn has stopped at the point where he was right above the pitch fork, the Bicorn is still aware that he's back above the pitch fork, but he currently can't move from this position, even though he can still talk, Screwball then presses another button 3 times while saying "Frame, By, Frame", and this causes the Bicorn to slowly but surely get closer to the pitch fork.

The Bicorn then Gulps as he sees his butt getting closer to landing on the pitch fork again, then Screwball goofily snickers as the Bicorn looks at her and says "Hey, W-Wait a Minute!".

Then Screwball presses another button and says "Slow Motion".

This then causes the Bicorn to repeat the pitch fork scene in slow motion and we hear him say "Oooooouuuucchh!", while Screwball floats back over to the right side of the screen to see the Bicorn land on the seesaw again.

Screwball then goofily snickers, presses another button and says "Rewind", then we end up back at the point before the anvil landed on the Bicorn's head and Screwball says "Play".

The Bicorn looks at Screwball, then looks up to the sky and says "Not Again", then the anvil lands on the Bicorn's head again.

Screwball then goofily snickers, presses another button and says "Go Back", and we see the anvil land on the Bicorn's head again.

Then the Bicorn stands up and says "HEY!".

Then Screwball press another button and says "Fast Forward", and we see the Bicorn land on the pitch fork again.

Only this time instead of going ouch he points towards Screwball and says "You!".

Then Screwball presses another button and says "Rewind".

And we see the Bicorn's face pummel through the steps of the ladder again while he goes "Bbrrrrrr".

Then Screwball presses another button and says "Shuffle Mode", then we see the Bicorn continuously repeat all those same gags again & again in a random order for no less than 5 seconds but no more than 10.

We even hear him say things like "Aah, Ohh, Waa, Eeh, Ihh, Ooh, Dah, Gah, Yeh!".

Then Screwball presses another button twice as she says "A/B Repeat", then we see the Bicorn constantly getting hit on the head with the anvil for no less than 3 seconds but no more than 5, and we really start to see signs that the Bicorn is getting injured.

Then Screwball presses another button and says "Play".

Then the Bicorn says "Mama?" right before the anvil hits him on the head again.

Then Screwball presses another button and says "Again".

Then the Bicorn says "Guess Who?" right before the anvil hits him on the head yet again.

Then Screwball presses another button and says "One More Time".

Then the Bicorn says "I used to play with a Mr. Potato Head once", right before the anvil hits him on the head one final time, then the Bicorn(with the anvil still on his head) spins around once while going "Whooo", then makes a military salute and says "You Sunk My Battleship!", then falls to the ground unconscious.

Then Screwball picks up the unconscious Bicorn & dances the walts with him, then slides him head first on the ground towards the camera.

Then she reaches off screen and pulls out a huge rectangular panel with a big hole in the center, then panel has the words "Monster Trap" printed on it, then she floats in the hole in the center of the panel, then she takes out from her back what appears to be a *Super Soaker* squirt gun, then she starts pumping the squirt gun while saying "Wetter is Better".

Then Screwball squirts the Bicorn in the face from behind him, then the Bicorn wakes up with a confused expression going "Huh Who What Where?".

Then Screwball blows a raspberry at the Bicorn, who then shouts "Hey Come Back Here!", then as the Bicorn goes into the hole in the panel, the hole shrinks and traps the Bicorn in the center of the panel.

Screwball then floats above the panel and says "Eh, Sorry Pal" while stretching her forelimbs to the corners of the panel, then folds them together, sandwiching the Bicorn's front half in the two ends of the panel, then she continuously folds the ends of the panel, trapping the Bicorn in a smaller & smaller container while she says "But you've caused enough trouble for one day".

Then with a close up of Screwball we then see her take a long red ribbon from off screen & messes with something we can't see while saying "So I'm afraid I'm going to have to make you leave", then we see her holding a tiny cube that is the panel she trapped the Bicorn in & it's wrapped in the ribbon, topped with a bow, and she says "Gift-wrapped up with a pretty little bow".

Then screwball sets the cube on what looks like a golf tee, we then see a pair of eyes open on the side of the cube that's facing the screen, and the eyes are divided by the ribbon in the middle, then we see what looks like a golf club right next to the cube, when the eyes see this, they make a worried expression, and the cube begins to jiggle as it murmurs "NO" a bunch of times.

Then we see Screwball getting ready to hit the cube with a golf club, she then shouts "3 and a Half!", then slams the cube with such tremendous force that we see the ribbon float down to the ground.

Then a screen with an arrow appears within the screen showing us a zoomed in shot of the Bicorn screaming as he soars over the horizon & lands beyond the vast mountains past the Everfree Forest, after the Bicorn crash lands the screen with the arrow vanishes, then Screwball makes a victory pose and says "Yahtzee!".

Chapter 7

Then everyone in Ponyville comes out cheering for Screwball, even Rainbow Dash says "That was Awesome!".

The Mane 6 come on screen and give Screwball a group hug, and Fluttershy says "Oh Screwball, Thank you for getting rid of that Monster for us".

Then Screwball says "Well I figured I should have done something anyways seeing as how I'm the reason that beast even come here in the first place".

Everyone who was hugging Screwball then has their eyes open really wide in shock.

Then with a close-up of Twilight we see her make angry eyes and says "Wait", then she pushes herself away from Screwball, looks directly at Screwball and says "What?!".

"OK, Confession Time" says Screwball.

Then Screwball takes out a projection screen from behind her back, then she places a weird looking helmet on Twilight's head that has the parts of a film projector on it, then Screwball presses a button on the helmet and suddenly Twilight's eyes light up as if the helmet turned Twilight into a film projector.

We then see a bunch of video clips on the projection screen depicting what Screwball was doing to cause all of this to happen in the first place, we then hear Screwball say "I took some short-lasting Bicorn Pheromone and sprayed a trail of it leading from a Bicorn's Lair to Ponyville, hoping that a Bicorn would show up by at least the middle of this episode, yep I pretty much had this whole hoopla planned out from the very beginning".

Then the video on the projection screen begins picture jumping at a fast pace & then rips apart, then we look at Twilight, who's eyes are shown spinning up going into the top of her eye sockets & coming out from the bottom at a fast pace, then Twilight shakes her head to remove the helmet & get her eyes back to normal, then she looks at Screwball and says "Why in the name of Celestia's Mother would you Purposely want to bring a Bicorn to Ponyville?!".

We then get a close up of Screwball who says "Well Duh, for a Dramatic Plot Twist of course!".

Screwball then floats close to Twilight and says "The viewers just love to watch the heroes taking on Monsters & Villains".

Then Screwball grabs Twilight by the face with her hooves and says "And what better a Monster to add to our Rogue's Gallery then a Bicorn?!".

Suddenly another Screwball comes out & breaks the 4th wall by sliding the screen upwards so she can speak to the viewers, then she uses visual aids to better help with her explanations while she says "Also because I wanted to show all you viewers out that according to European Mythology the Bicorn is an evil meat-eating monster that is part-Cow & part-Panther, don't worry though, like all mythological creatures they don't exist in Your World, even though they do exist here in Equestria, but my point is that despite it's name, the Bicorn is NOT by any means a 2-Horned Unicorn, (loud whisper tone)but that's something else for another time".

Then the scene shoots up like a window shade rolling back up, then we return to Ponyville with a close-up of Screwball, then we see Rarity say "Well, I do hope you Plan on cleaning up this atrocious mess that You caused here".

"phfftt, No Problem, I'll fix it lickety-split" says Screwball.

Screwball then readjusts the camera to be facing all of the currently trashed Ponyville, then in the Foreground we see Screwball's forelimb as she sprays a strange sudsy fluid all over the screen, completely blinding the scene, then we see Screwball's forelimb holding a squeegee as she streaks it across the screen horizontally a few times going from the top to the bottom.

And suddenly all of Ponyville has been fixed like nothing happened to it, the scene then switches to Screwball, who is floating above the ground, wearing a window cleaner's belt, still holding the squeegee in one hoof and says "There you go, good as new".

The Ponies are awestruck by how Screwball repaired all of the damage that the Bicorn caused in such an unusual way, we then get a close up of Twilight & Screwball's faces as Screwball says "And as a special bonus, I even took care of all of the stuff on your list of things to do in preparation for the Blue Moon Festival".

We then see all of the Blue Moon Festival stuff that Screwball said that she did as she continues to say "Which should put you a Whole Day ahead of schedule".

We then return to Twilight & Screwball as Screwball continues to say "There by giving plenty more time to do fun things with you friends".

Pinkie then says "Wow! You have Got to teach me That trick".

Screwball replies "ehh That's kind of an Advanced Level trick, how about we just focus on getting you to graduate from the Moderate Level for now alright".

"(exhale) Oh Okay" says Pinkie.

Twilight left speechless by Screwball's actions then says "I don't know what to say Screwball, you completed a whole day's worth of work for me in just a few seconds".

Screwball then says "eh, I was planning to just do that for you anyways seeing how we're friends and all".

Twilight then asks "But if you Were going to all of that for me anyways, then why didn't you just do it sooner instead of driving me crazy all day long with your over the top zany antics?".

"And leave this episode without any Unexpected Surprises?" asks Screwball.

Screwball then places her hoof under Twilight's chin and says "Oh come on now Twilight, Where's the Fun in That?".

Twilight is then left with a confused look in her face.

Screwball then looks at her wrist which is full of like half a dozen different looking wrist watches(including one that's square, one that's triangular, and one that's even helix shaped) that weren't there before and says "Wow episode's almost over already".

Then she floats out in front of everypony and says "Well everypony this has been a great experience for us all, (fast paced) We Sang, We Danced, We Joked, We Referenced, We Defeated an Antagonist, We pretty much had a happy ending.

Then Screwball takes out her Trans-Dimensional Doorknob and says "(regular paced)But it's getting late", then she opens a door out of nowhere while saying "And I have a lot of other places I have to be", then she walks into the doorway and says "So I'll see you all later", then closes the door & it vanishes.

"Whoo, Well maybe now we can have some peace & quite for a while" says Twilight.

Suddenly a Door opens on the ground right in front of her, and Screwball comes out and says "Whoopsie Doodles, I almost Forgot".

Screwball then pulls out a medium-sized gift-wrapped box and hands it to Twilight while saying "I wanted to give you a little present to apologize for any inconveniences I may have caused you".

Twilight sighs and says "Well knowing you Screwball it'll probably be something that blows-up in my face, but What The Hey".

Then Twilight uses her magic to pull the ribbon off, then the box bursts apart to reveal a wooden barrel that was so big that it shouldn't have even fit in that box, a label on the barrel has the words "Barrel of Laughs" printed on it, the barrel then squats & blows it's top, and it erupts with a flurry of purple-ish pink bubbles, we then see a cloud of bubbles loom over all of Ponyville.

Then one of the bubbles pops on Twilight's Horn, then Twilight begins to snicker, then she says "Oh No", then she snickers again, then says "Not This Ag-g-gin", then she giggles while trying to speak and says "N-not Lah-lah-lah-ha Laughing Bubbles!", then she breaks out into a fit of uncontrollable laughter, because Laughing Bubbles are like a more magical, harmless & more kid-friendly equivalent to Laughing Gas, which simply makes you laugh out loud & uncontrollably without causing any negative side effects.

Then the rest of the Mane 6 and everyone else in Ponyville begin to laugh uncontrollably, even Cranky Doodle Donkey is seen laughing like he's happy, the metephor for this is that Laughter is one of the greatest Gifts one can ever give someone else.

With everyone else laughing we then see Screwball from behind and she doesn't seem to be effected by the bubbles, she then turns to the camera and says "The most important rule of Screwball Comedy is that you always leave 'em laughing, of course if they don't really share you're sense of humor, it's always good to have a back-up plan(snickers goofily), so until next time, this is Screwball reminding you all, to stay Pony my friends", then another Screwball's hoof comes out in the foreground & slides the screen to the left, and we then see the ending Credits.

During the Credits everything is going just as it would with standard end credits, except we hear Screwball singing along rewriting the lyrics to her own, & making her own vocal music as she sings "Doo doo doo My Little Screwball, doo doo-doo doo da doo-doo My Little Screwball, da da dee da doo doo da doo dee-da, be da be ba, doo-ba-dee, ah ra ba dee ba, zoo bo dee ba, za da boo ba da bee ba deh bo, dee ba da boo ba da ba da, My Little Screwball & Friends (giggle & snort).

THE END.

Author's Note

And no a 2-Horned Unicorn is not called a "Duo-Corn" either, because a according to Urban Slang, a Duo-Corn is what they call a Man who dresses as a Unicorn, because of the fact that Men already have a "Built-in Horn" in their Lower Regions, which by that definition makes it sound like something that a Male $+r1pp@r would do, you know strut down a cat-walk wearing a Unicorn costume, and wearing Unicorn Underpants with a Horn sticking out where the you-know-what goes, which doesn't sound very kid-friendly if your trying to bring 2-Horned Unicorns to a Kids-Show.

Which is most likely why people started calling the 2-Horned Unicorns "Twonicorns", which kids would better understand because it's a combination of the words Two + Unicorns, and it still keeps the "OOH-nicorns" sound in the name, you just use a "T" sound in the front instead of a "U" sound, but we can all talk more on Twonicorns later.