Story of a Stick

by Xinrick

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 91411

Well a Stick Figure went to Equestria, and that's basically it...besides the massive amount of powers it had.

Some people think that 'Stick Figures' are simple and lame, but what would happen if they had their own lives and dreams? There own powers, strengths, weakness, emotions? Well for the denizens of Ponyville and all of Equestria, they'll soon figure out that stick figure drawing isn't all that make believe.

Howdy, Xinrick here. I just had this massive thought of 'what would happen if a Stick Figure went to Equestria?' and this is going to be my whole thing. Hope you like it.
Also thank you so much for my new Co-writer QuartzScale, he is a miracle maker in disguise of a fallout pony

Published 2017-06-16 22:20:09 UTC
Last updated 2023-04-20 22:58:05 UTC

Interlude I

It was a normal day in Canterlot Gardens, the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and a royal princess was sitting down and being ever so thankful to get away from all the snobbish ‘royals’. “It’s such a nice day outside.” The solar princess says to herself, smiling and closing her eyes, just enjoying the feel of her sun bearing down on her flawless white coat. Nothing could ruin this glorious break time for her.

“Your highness!”

Or...not.

“Yes?” Celestia asks, putting on a mask to hide the fact she was royally pissed at a guard ruining the serene silence.

“We have a report from the local Ponyville guard.” The guard says, and just on time a note manifested from green smoke.

“My student so soon?” Celestia wonders, using her magic and opening the note and reading it swiftly. Celestia stopped reading it and her brows furrowed, before she re-read the letter and re-read it again. “Guard...what was the report?”

“A strange blue...stick figure like thing appeared somewhere in Ponyville. When a guard, your personal student and her dragon assistant found it lying on the ground it immediately ran away.” The guard says, reading the report word for word. “It then kept running, tossing aside Pinkie Pie and jumping over Rainbow Dash, causing the pegasus to drive herself into the ground. He was then spotted talking to Svengallop and Countess Coloratura, as he swiftly got away yet again, only to mock the guards and run faster than anything anyone’s ever seen. Then the being somehow pulled out fans that could deflect stunning spell bolts, which the being said it was powered by, and I quote, ‘pure awesomeness’...then he proceeded to say ‘nope’ and run away when the guards summoned a storm.” The guard reports. “And the guards have put out a hunt for the being. The orders were to capture him, and not harm him. He was last saw heading to Whitetail Woods” He says, before closing the letter and seeing the Princess’s less than happy face.

Celestia put a hoof to her muzzle and took a deep breath. “Thank you my little pony. You’re dismissed.”

“Ma’am.” The guard says stoically before rushing off to his fellow guards.

“Not again…” Celestia muttered, getting up and walking through the gardens. “Another of those beings are here? But...how?”

“Something troubling you my dear friend?” A voice sang all around her, before a multi-limbed being appeared near her, the being about the size of a bird and rowing a boat towards the alicorn.

“I don’t have time for games Discord. Another one of them has appeared.” Celestia growls.

“Oh another one of those…how interesting. Well no worries my dear Sunbutt. I shall follow your rules and do absolutely nothing to the being.” His smile turned malicious.

“Discord please…” Celestia sighs out, rubbing her forehead gently.

“Nuh huh huh. I shall do exactly as the crown has stated and do nothing but watch. This should be a wonderful experience for all involved. Nothing but chaos created because ponies didn’t take the time to talk things out. And you said I was the chaotic one.” Discord uproariously laughed filling the entire gardens with his face which echoed his laughter.

“You know as well as I do why I ordered you not to engage these beings.” She sighs out. “Mother only knows how many problems when Benjamin was here...damned Illusionist.” She growled out.

“Now he was my kind of bloke. Should have had some tea and crumpets with him before he wound up turning half the guard insane. Oh how delicious that was.” Discord smirked.

“I’m just glad Jade was there to kick him back to his own world.” She sighs out. “But keep tabs on him, and report anything he does, whether good or bad.” She says, wanting to know what this new being has in store for this world.

“Ooh ooh I can make a highlight reel and we can have a huge movie premiere. I’ll call it ‘Story of a Stick!’ It will make millions!” Discord laughed out.

Celestia just got a little smile and shook her head. “Oh Discord, being as random as usual.” She says. “But I fear what havoc this new being will cause...it’s been one thousand years since they last appeared...but what could have caused them to reappear again?”

“Who knows. Either way at least I’ll make a buck while those hack writers Xinrick and Quartz make me millions.” Discord smirked before looking out in a certain direction and winking at Xinrick. Words that only Discord could read said ‘don’t do this too often ya cheeky bastard.’

With a snap of his fingers the words ‘no promises’ appeared behind him.

“Anyways, the report the guard gave me said he was running off to Whitetail woods...and my student told me her and her friends were confused on why the guards were trying to attack such a being...but added that he somehow helped Rara finally break out of her ‘countess’ persona and sing a wonderful song for the people of Ponyville.” She explains. “Does this mean he is good at heart? No. So be cautious Discord, I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

“Eh? As long as he doesn’t mess with that Parasprite Queen that’s been incubating her eggs in the Whitetail Woods then we should be fine.” With a snap of his fingers he disappeared.

“Wait what!?!” Celestia yelped in surprise, her eyes widening. “I thought that queen died three hundred years ago?” She muttered worriedly, before her eyes turn into pinpricks. “No...oh no oh no oh no…” She mutters, galloping towards the castle. “I just thought those were harmless flies!” She screamed, not believing Twilight somehow fucked up so hard as to let that many Parasprites breed. Celestia burst into her room, causing her pet phoenix Philomena to squawk in surprise. “Sorry Philomena, but I’ve got to warn Twilight and her friends.” She says quickly, using her magic to quickly grab an inkwell, a sheet of paper and a quill. After a quick amount of scribbling that basically amounted to ‘Stop that blue creature from getting to Whitetail Woods at all cost! Don’t let him awake the Parasprite Queen!’’, she rolled it up, wrapped a red ribbon and stamped it with ‘things bad happen’ on it and she sent it off to her student.

“Uh...your highness?” A maid calls out, knocking on her still burst open door. “Do you need ‘the usual’?” She asks, having a good feeling about her princess’s current state that ‘the usual’ is needed.

“Please…” She sighs out. “And double the chocolate please.”

“Yes princess.” The maid sighs out, pulling out a weird pink cloud and opening it like a phone. “Pinkie? We’re gonna need the usual, double chocolate.” She says over the ‘phone’.

“Okie Doki Loki.” The maid heard before the call ended.

“Faust help us…” The maid sighs out, turning around and walking out.

Celestia gently tapped her lips with a napkin, thankful for having her ‘Supreme Princess Meal’ once again. “Pinkie out did herself yet again.” She giggles, glad to have twelve different cakes stacked on top of each other and drenched in chocolate.

“Where does she put all that?” A guard whispers to his fellow stallion.

“Do you even want me to answer?” He whispers back, finding the answer quite obvious considering the Princess’s...sizable rear.

“Is there something wrong?” Celestia asks, causing the two guards to jolt.

“N-nothing ma’am!” The two guards stutter quickly.

“Anyways I’m feeling better.” Celestia smiles, gently burping after that. “Oh, excuse me,” Celestia giggles, knowing that only her guards can see her do something like that.

“You're excused ma’am.” The guards say at the same time, not surprised to see her more ‘relaxed’ when they were watching her stuff herself with a buck load of cake. Celestia got up and the maids quickly fixed up the table and got rid of the dirty dishes rather quickly, having to be trained to fix such a thing like this.

Celestia walked over to a large window and looked down towards Ponyville, and where Whitetail Woods was. “Please...be safe my little ponies…” Celestia mutters to herself, fear still nagging at the back of her mind at the thought of the Parasprite Queen awaking once again.

To be continued...

Author's Note

What is this 'Parasprite Queen'? What sort of monster could scare the Solar Diarch so much? What has Simon gotten himself into this time? And will that butt load of cake actually go to Celestia's ass?
Celestia: HEY!
Well we won't figure it out until next time.

Again thank you so much QuartzScale for helping me with this story. This would have been in writers hell forever if it weren't for you my friend. :twilightsmile:

Stick goes to Whitetail Woods

“Okay...I think I lost them.” I mutter to myself, going from a fast sprint to a gentle jog. “Phew, that gave me a workout.” I chuckle,

“Stop criminal scum! The Whitetail Woods are off limits!” A guard shouted out loud from above. A pegasus holding a spear was aiming right for me.

“The fuck did I do to become a criminal!?” I shout, completely confused about that.

“You ran!” Several dozens of guards yell back.

“How the fuck is that a criminal offense!?” I shout back, starting to head off again.

“The innocent don’t run.” A mousy mare with large glasses in a guard uniform cried out.

“Hot Fuzz references don’t work this time lady!” I shout, “Besides, what else was I supposed to do when I randomly appear in a new world to meet candy colored horses?” I ask, completely confused by all this.

“Go with the guard like a sane individual.” The guards yelled out.

“Sanity is for the weak!” I shout, continuing to run past a bunch of trees.

Several spells are fired off including one that freezes a tree in a block of ice. Several spears were also chucked as well.

“Why the fuck are you trying to kill me!?!” I shout, continuing to run away from the guards even more.

They can’t answer because I ran too far away. ”Shit!”I thought, looking around frantically before seeing a cave up ahead. I quickly marked a tree and faked where I was going before vanishing and hoping they were stupid enough to follow the tree mark as I bolted towards the cave. As I entered the cave I hid in one of the dark corners and kept my breathing still and quiet. What felt like hours pass and even though I heard some guards shouting it quickly died down as they completely missed where I was. ”Thank lord.” I mentally sigh out. I got up and dusted myself off before looking outside and towards the darkening cave. “Might as well make a little camp…” I mutter, thinking a fire sword and pushing a hand into my stomach, and before long I pulled out a long sword that was surrounded by fire. “Sweet.” I smile, before raising it like a torch and, thankfully, seeing down the cave.

“Damn this cave is deep.” I say, hearing my voice echo as I moved deeper into the cave, giving it about a solid ten minutes since I started walking through the dark cave. As I ventured further I heard a gentle drip, causing me to stop and ready myself for whatever’s to come next. After a moment's waiting I heard another dripping noise but I just sighed out, thinking it was probably just condensation coming from the rock this deep in the cave. As I continued forward I then stepped in something that felt like...spider’s web? “Huh?” I mutter, raising my foot up and noticing a white sticky substance on the underside of my blue foot. “I do hope that doesn’t stay…” I mutter, continuing my trek forward.

After another five or so minutes I came across a ton of eggs lining the walls and ceiling, “Okay so if this is some spider cave or Xenomorph breeding ground I’m out.” I frown, continuing forward till I get to, what I think, is the end of the cave where I see a giant ass see through cocoon...which held a weird ass looking pony in it. “Weird…” I mutter, holding my makeshift torch up to get a better look, and all that seemed different about the pony was that it has some strange antenna and weird fly like wings. “Strange...is this some weird ritual or something?” I hum to myself, gently touching the cocoon.

“Who dares interrupt my slumber?” A female says from...everywhere in the cave, seeing the pony in the cocoon open it’s eyes tiredly, and it stared at me with creepy insect like eyes.

“Whoa…” I mutter, taking a step back from the thing, “Dude that’s creepy.” I frown.

“”A Stick Figure?” The female asks, seeing the pony stretch in it’s bubble. “I’ve heard stories of your race, but I’ve never seen one myself” She says, moving a hoof over and opening the cocoon with ease.

“Weird...and here I thought I was a special snowflake.” I say, taking another step back and feeling like I just fucked up big time.

“A being of immeasurable power, an insatiable hunger for violence, and can be the harbinger of life or death…” The woman says, the pony finally getting out of the cocoon. “Ah, one thousand years in that thing, always gets so stuffy.” She says, her voice reverberating as if she was saying the same thing with her own personal echo.

“Still creepy.” I frown. “Anyways, who are you?” I ask, readying myself for a fight.

“I am the Parasprite Queen, the mother of all parasprites and devourer of millions.” She says.

“Uh...you look like a filly…” I say, looking down at the now less intimidating but still creepy filly.

“Just because I’m a queen doesn’t mean I have to be ‘old’.” She scoffs, her antenna twitching and the eggs all around me started moving eerily. “Ah but our time is up. I’m very hungry after being asleep for one thousand years, maybe I’ll go out and have a little snack...maybe a town or two? Or maybe that castle those damned fools created.” She growls.

“I’m gonna have to stop you their lady.” I say, pointing my sword towards her. “I’ve barely been in this world for a day yet I don’t want it being a snack for some bitch with an appetite.” I frown.

“And what are you going to do about it?” She asks. “Use your little stick to hurt me?” She laughs, before I poke her shoulder with the point of my sword and she yelps in pain, looking over at the now burned stab wound.

“Hinoken, or just simply ‘Fire Sword’.” I smile. “Hope you enjoy getting cut and burned at the same time.” I grin, readying myself for a fight.

The Queen growled before she stomped her hooves on the ground, the eggs suddenly hatching immediately and spawning…

“Okay who the fuck would defile skittles like this?” I ask angrily, finding all the parasprites being nothing more than skittles with eyes and wings.

“These are my babies.” The queen says, before something punched me in the gut out of nowhere and sent me skidding back. As I looked I saw a brick of Parasprites disband and gently float around her. “And they can and will do anything I tell them to.” She says with a smile.

“Well...that’s something.” I say, stabbing a parasprite and setting it on fire, the thing falling down to the ground quickly. “Well at least it can just as easily die like the rest.” I grin, before my eyes widen at seeing the things...cough up hairballs. “Ew…” I frown, only to be rudely shocked at seeing them turn into more Parasprites.

“Parasprites are special, they reproduce asexually.” The bug filly says with a grin, twitching her antenna and making the swarm of flies turn into two giant arms with clenched fists. “So I have an infinite amount at my beck and call.”

“Ah.” I nod. “Now, about that…” I start before vanishing and appearing half way to the exit. “Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit!” I chant, the queen hearing my rapid fire words echo through the cave.

“Good Faust…” The queen sighs out, flapping her wings and dashing towards me. “You just had to give me this being to fight huh?” She shakes her head, feeling like someone was already laughing at the display she has to deal with.

After a swift and horribly failed attempt to flee I leapt out into the outdoors and swiftly dodged a swing made by a bunch of Parasprites. “Shit…” I mutter.

“Now that we’re outside we can get serious.” The Parasprite Queen chuckles, “Also thank you for giving me an advantage, if we stayed in there you would have burned the entirety of my swarm.”

“Forethought isn’t my strong suit…” I say nervously. “But whether advantages or not I’m still gonna kick your ass kid.”

“I’m twenty times older than you.” The queen frowns, before I appeared behind her and swiftly smacked her upside the head.

“And that’s what I have to say about that.” I laugh, falling down and dodging her furious attempt at a counter attack, “Come on Queenie! You can do better than that!” I taunt, landing on my feet.

Several tentacles of parasprites appeared all around me and swiftly began to burrow through the terrain cutting off all my running routes following by them picking the trees and stones and making them appear like spikes in the collection of parasprites all around me. Everything was covered in spikes and was less flammable due to the layer of dirt over everything.

“Right then.” I say before I tossed my sword in the air, causing it to disappear before I shoved my hand back into my little pocket dimension of weapons, and before long I pulled out a giant ice blue hammer that seemed to steam, “Aisuhanmā, know what that means?” I say with a grin, spinning it around like the giant war hammer weighed nothing. “Let me show you.” I say before swinging the hammer and ramming it into one of the ‘spiked’ tentacles, causing a big portion of the tentacle to be suddenly frozen in ice in almost an instant. “Ice Hammer.” I smile, punching the ice tentacle and it shattering like it was nothing.

She wisely pulled her tentacles away and picked up any large items and flung it at me. Never letting the tentacles get close until all the parasprites she had made had reformed into a new tentacle. I spun the hammer and either deflected and destroyed all the ranged ‘weapons’ she threw at me, stomping down and slamming my hammer into the ground, causing the ground to start cracking, then a massive ice spike shot out towards the Parasprite Queen. The queen tried defending with three trees, but they did nothing as the spike punched through all three and then hit a tentacle, freezing them all quickly and shattering. “I doubt your ‘babies’ can breed as fast as I can kill them.” I say. “So how about you give up now and I won’t have to make you feel like shit, or continue and I show you real pain.”

She pushed her tentacles into the ground, lifted the ground I was standing on and slammed it on top of me. A moment later the slab of rock I was under was blown to bits and rocks flew everywhere, as I stood there glaring at the queen without much injury besides small amount of dirt and a scuff or two. “Well if that’s what you want…” I say before disbanding my hammer and summoning two silver gauntlets. I shoved my hands into the ground and, with a slight grunt, table flipped a crap ton of rocks straight towards the queen.

She flew straight up into the air dodging several of the rocks allowing what parasprites still in formation to grab them out of mid air and toss them back using gravity to speed them up.

I bounced between the rocks before grabbing a giant hammer probably bigger than my ice hammer, “Megaton Press!” I shout, the words echoing as the Parasprite Queen felt the air around her grow thicker and more dangerous, the queen looking over and seeing a whole tentacle of her Parasprites suddenly become nothing more than blood splatters on the ground below as I landed on the ground. “Come on lady! You’re not even trying at this point!” I shout.

She flew straight up and opened her mouth. Millions upon millions of parasprites suddenly clouded the sky sending the entire land into darkness. She made them pick up a mountain and the caves where she slept and held it over her head.

I took a deep breath before my hammer disappeared and two wrist bound buddhist prayer beads wrapped around my wrists. “Art of the Gentle Fist…” I mutter, the words echoing out to her as I vanished before her, climbing up the upturned mountain with great speed as I leaped up into the air and pointed my palm towards the mountain so I could squish her. “Buddha Palm.” All went silent before an ungodly amount of force pushed down on the mountain, forcing the Parasprites and the Queen down and down until it sooner or later crushed her. “Sorry lady, I guess I’m just crushing on you.” I say with a giant ass grin, pushing further down on the mountain.

“BURN IN HELL!” The queen roars one last time before the mountain smothered her and her entire swarm and most likely flattened them all like a pancake. I gently landed on top of the mountain and put both my palms together and bowing with respect.

“Phew, that was fun.” I smile, gently taking off my prayer beads and putting them away.

“Capture that fool. He just destroyed the entire Whitetail Woods!” A guard screamed out.

“I JUST MURDERED THE PARASPRITE QUEEN GO TO HELL!” I shout.

“He just admitted to murder!! Get him!” Another guard cried out.

I let out an unintelligible roar of pure aggravation. “That’s it I’m done! I’m so out of here!” I shout before bolting off again into some random ass direction. When I looked around I saw a castle. “Maybe I’ll just meet the person in charge.” I growl, hating this entire situation and bolting towards what I think is the Capital.

“Uh~” Twilight said, her eyes as wide as dinner plates and having said that for the past three minutes without room to breath.

“Is Twilight okay? Spike asks worriedly.

“I don’t know Sugarcube…” Applejack says worriedly. “But...it makes sense considering what just happened…”

“How…?” Rainbow mutters, not believing what she just saw.

“My word…” Rarity mutters, looking over at Fluttershy who was currently on the ground completely unconscious.

“Wow…” Pinkie says breathlessly, not believing that just happened either.

“I heard he killed something called...a ‘Parasprite Queen’?” Spike says.

“Quite the haul. I couldn’t have done better myself. Good thing he fixed Twilight’s mistake from so long ago.” A voice rings out of Spike’s ear. Discord slowly slinks out of his ear before the girls. With a snap of his fingers the entire Whitetail Woods is back to its pristine visage. Especially for Fluttershy and her animals.

“You mean when the Parasprites were causing trouble?” Spike asks curiously.

“No I mean when I was causing trouble of course.” Discord chews absentmindedly on some parasprite jerky.

“WHAT THE TARTARUS WAS THAT!?!” Twilight screams at Discord, her mane already springing out of place in sheer confusion.

“Simple little sparklight. When you used your magic to try to change their eating habits you accidentally mutated the original into an eldritch abomination that would have devoured all ponykind in… “ Discord pulls out a wristwatch and taps it a bit before speaking again, “Twelve seconds after escaping it’s home. So thank you for creating something almost as dangerous as me but not as fun.” Discord smiled before appearing next to spike as a hat on his head. It was a fancy chef hat.

“W-what?” Twilight goes stock still in fear, “B-but...how!? My spell wouldn’t have done that!?”

“Sure it would, the Element of Magic includes some chaos magic within it. You’re a regular.” Discord smiled widely before disappearing, “Now I must tell Celestia of all the chaos that occurred. It will be hilarious. I can’t wait to show her the looks on your faces.” His laughter echoed all around.

Twilight’s right eye twitched for a few moments before passing out.

“Oh horseapples…” Applejack sighs out, hefting Twilight onto her back. “Well, let’s get on home.” Applejack says, heading off to Ponyville.

“Well...if he actually killed that monster...then he did Equestria a massive favor right?” Spike asks, following along with Applejack. “So why is he still being chased by guards?”

“Because the guards think he’s a bad guy for...some reason.” Rainbow says with a shrug. “He was running...so they thought he ran away because he did something wrong…”

“Oh…” Spike frowns.

“He might be a criminal to the guards but...he’s a hero to us.” Rarity says, picking up Fluttershy with her magic and following her friends.

“Well I hope he’s happy wherever he runs off to.” Pinkie smiles, bouncing along with her friends.

To be continued...

Interlude II

All was quiet in Canterlot for the most part...before someone screamed loud enough that even Manehatten heard it. “HE DID WHAT!?!” Celestia screams at Discord, her eyes wide and filled with horror at Discord’s report.

Discord removed the cotton from his ears before answering. “Oh you know the usual. Destroy the very fabric of reality and set the Whitetail Woods into a squalor that would never recover without heavy duty magic being used to fix it. Also made Twilight realize her mistakes of using magic on creatures she doesn’t know about, but who’s keeping track these days of her mistakes?” He slowly rubbed his claw against his chest and blew on the nails. “By the by, it’s four so far. Also you are welcome for fixing everything.”

“Thank you Discord but...how in the world could he kill a Parasprite Queen?” Celestia fusses. “You know how strong those things are, yet he took it down single handedly.”

“Oh that old thing. Please Celestia you knew that thing was weak from being stuck in a cave for all this time. Plus a bug is still a bug. He squashed it… albeit with a mountain. It’s hilarious especially the look on Twilight’s face when he broke reality.” He quickly pulled out a picture of a slack jawed Twilight for Celestia to see. “Priceless.”

“I know but still…” Celestia says worriedly. “A Parasprite Queen is extremely powerful even if it just woke up...but how in Tartarus is he able to summon those strange weapons?” The solar princess frowns, ignoring her slack jawed student.

“Pocket Dimension.” Discord bluntly stated.

“You can’t just go ‘pocket dimension’ without having some form of answer.” Celestia frowns. “You try making a pocket dimension that suddenly has such weapons without screwing with Reality.”

“Not here but throughout the stars it’s possible. I’ve seen so many countless things and this is a standard use of a pocket dimension.” Discord pulled a glass of chocolate milk out of a pocket dimension on his side and offered Celestia a glass as well just for the added effect of freaking her out.

Celestia gave Discord a bemused look. “You’ve done that hundreds of times Discord, and chocolate milk is different then a giant hammer that can summon ice to that degree, or the power to force a mountain to the ground with just a movement of his palm.” She frowns.

Discord pulled out a hammer and shot lightning from the head at a pillar before putting it back into the pocket dimension. The smile on his face said it all.

“Me damn it Discord…” Celestia sighs out, rubbing the bridge of her nose bitterly.

“On another note it seems his running path will take him straight into Canterlot in a couple of hours. Would you like me to send him elsewhere after he runs through the city?” The smile on Discord’s face was full of malicious intent and gleeful sadistic fun.

“Oh for the love of!” Celestia sits down and throws her hooves in the air at hearing that. “Send him where exactly?” Celestia asks, not believing the Stick Figures next stop was Canterlot of all places.

“I know a certain queen has been getting a bit lonely lately. Perhaps some problems could be dealt with expediently should proper motivation be given.” The smirk was back. Calculating away for what the authors were planning to write very soon.

“Fine...just make sure he doesn’t hurt any of the ponies here...even if the nobles are...not that nice.” She says bitterly. “Like try and distract him with something that doesn’t involve punching someone for saying he’s a freak…”

“Right, put Zesty Gourmand in his way and hope for the best. Genius Celestia. Genius.” Discord stated before zipping away with a snap of his claw. He left behind a piece of paper for Celestia to read.

Selective hearing has been activated on your Discord to change the setting please offer up twelve barrels of chocolate milk, a cotton candy machine, and Luna’s moon. If unsatisfactory please contact your service providers. We as Discord Inc. welcome constructive criticism which we accept in writing. Which we then use to keep ponies home’s warm by burning them. Enjoy.

Celestia read the entire thing...before channeling her magic and disintegrating the thing. “Me damn it Discord…” She grumbles, getting up and looking outside over Canterlot, hoping this new event won’t cause any problems.

No promises…

“Oh sweet lord.” Celestia groans, accidentally ramming her head into the wall with how her ‘so done’ meter spiked.

(Back in the halls of the Library of Knowledge)

“You mean the Library right mister Narrator.” Pinkie called out to the sky.

(It’s still filled with knowledge.)

“Pinkie who are you talking to?” Rainbow asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Don’t worry your pretty little rainbow head Dash. Auntie Pinkie has got this covered.” She answered with a smile knowing that two people were writing her character sending her into an existential crisis she hid beneath a smile. “I think the narrator is a bit too dramatic.” She whispered over to Twilight.

“We’re the same age Pinkie…” Rainbow frowns.

“I don’t care about whatever your rambling about Pinkie, I’m trying to find something that’ll help me understand just what in the wide world of Equis just happened.” Twilight says bluntly and bitterly, using her magic to search the entire library.

“It was under U~!” Pinkie sang out giving Twilight a book that has the title ‘Unexplained Unmentionables.’

“Is it wrong that I originally thought that meant something dirty?” Spike asks.

“No…” Twilight sighs out.

“Yup.” Pinkie muttered. “Twilight thought so too.”

“Anyways!” Twilight says before opening the book and searching through the Table of Contents to find at least something along the lines of what the hell just happened. A moment later Twilight flipped to the right page and then read the page...then reread it...then re-reread it. “Are you bucking KIDDING ME!?!” Twilight roars in anger and disbelief.

“Ooh ooh is it insightful beyond belief cascading through the cosmos and unlocking the very fabric of reality that would expand our minds beyond the cosmos thereby making us goddesses amongst ponies which we then smite the non-believers in parties fit for all ages?” Pinkie said all in one sentence.

“Um...are you okay Pinkie?” Applejack asks worriedly.

“Of course you silly billy. I’m just under the control of a slightly insane writer who knows they can use me as a springboard to be highly trollish or crazy beyond belief. It’s actually fun from time to time since I can blame them for letting me see what’s going to happen before it happens. Also Rarity twitchy tail.” Pinkie pointed out.

Rarity yelps and moves for cover from whatever falling thing might appear above her. When Rarity looked up she saw Twilight’s jaw drop at having read the book again...before her hair started to steam.

“Oooh that did drop far.” Pinkie stated.

“They exist….” Twilight mutters.

“What exist?” Rainbow asks.

“Stick Figures exist.” Twilight repeats.

“We know that, but is there anything else?” Rainbow asks curiously.

“THAT’S ALL THIS BOOK SAYS!” The bookworm shouts, spinning around and showing the book to her friends. The page had on the top ‘Stick Figures’, and all it had was ‘They exist’ in big black bold letters and that was it for the entire page.

“So we have a clue then.” Pinkie stated while wearing a detective hat and blowing out of a bubble pipe.

“That’s not a clue at all Pinkie!” Twilight shouts.

“Sure it is. Now we can ask Celestia without her being able to deny it.” Pinkie smiled. “And they say I’m the dumb one.” She elbowed Spike while she said it.

“Wow...dick move.” Spike says bluntly. “Seriously Pinkie...like...wow.” The youngling says, honestly worried about his friend who’s acting even more random and crazy then normal.

“She can still deny it. And she could say that a random book saying ‘Stick Figures exist’ would just be either the ramblings of a crazy pony, a strange conspiracy theory based on something weird, or figure out another way to completely deny it. Celestia isn’t stupid, and could think of many reasons why a book saying ‘they exist’ would sound silly in many ways.” Twilight says with a frown.

“Want me to write a letter to Celestia?” Spike asks, grabbing a quill and paper.

“Yes…” Twilight sighs out. “Might as well explain what we know to her. Hopefully she’ll respond soon.”

To be continued...

Author's Note

This is kind of weird, I blame Quartz for the parts with Pinkie and Discord...but all an all I hope you like the chapter.

Stick goes to Canterlot

After a solid two hours of running and climbing I finally got up to the city on the mountain. “Finally…” I grumble, getting up and taking deep breaths to steady my heart and breathing. “Okay...so fancy looking place…” I frown. “This is going to be annoying.” I start, cracking my neck and shoulders before jumping onto one of the fancy looking houses and leaping across the buildings to keep myself at least somewhat hidden. “So far there’s fancy...nobles...and I’m getting a growing sense that a good majority of this place is filled with assholes…” I mutter, already hating this place already.

I continued to move through the city and staying hidden from the unicorn centered city, which frankly in some cases I accidentally was out in the open, only to have all the ponies completely ignore me for either strange reasons, or because they had their noses up high like a bunch of twat baskets. “What to do what to-” I muttered before my stomach growled. “Shit...I’ve been running so much I forgot to eat…” I mutter, holding my stomach before hopping down and stealthily searching for a restaurant. And from all the window’s I managed to look through it was just bland, bland, and even more god damn bland! ”Sweet margarita’s! My god Hell probably has better food places than here!” I mentally shout, not believing how in the wide world they decided to have nothing but bland restaurants selling bland looking food.

“This truly meets the standards of a refined palate. Only a fool wouldn’t understand how delectable these delicacies are. Keep up the good work and I shall be off to my next appointment.” A fancy dressed unicorn pony with a regal appearance trotted out of the restaurant into the streets seemingly more important than any other unicorn around town.

“How old are you?” I ask the unicorn pony, shaking my head at seeing the fancy dressed unicorn pony have about as much wrinkles as an old woman, yet somehow had the voice and stance of an adult in their thirties or something. “Actually wait, no. That’s not the proper question, the proper question would be, how the hell can you accept bland?” I ask with a frown.

“What are you talking about? Are your taste buds truly that destroyed that they can not taste true flavor. Perhaps you need more help with your tongue?” The unicorn asked.

“Have...have you ever eaten food before?” I ask, still flabbergasted at how a bland square of ‘food’ barely the size of my pinkie could count as ‘food’.

“This is one of my favorite dishes. IT is the best thing to ever be served within the shining capital that is Canterlot. Truly I do pity how wretched your tongue works. It must be horrible knowing that you have no idea what food is.” The unicorn pony explains

“Have you ever had a peanut butter sandwich?” I ask, royally confused on how this pony can think. “Have you ever had buttered toast before?” I ask, my brain trying to come up with a reason why this old looking pony had no sense of what was good.

“Yes and they don’t even rate that high on my sense of taste. Barely a two out of ten.” The pony smugly says.

“...” I stare at the pony for a moment. “How do you function?” I ask dumbly, honestly not knowing how this pony can even work. “What’s the size of your stomach? The size of a grain of rice?” I ask worriedly.

“What are you talking about? I am a food critic. Why would I be stuffing myself when I have to give others my opinions?” The unicorn calmly answers.

“Three reasons actually.” I say. “One, a food critic has to try more than one dish, that’s just standard protocol if memory serves. Two, you actually have to try something that isn’t the exact same fucking thing repeatedly but with a leaf instead of a weed. And three…” I start, thinking for a moment. “Because you have to see if they can make anything else besides ‘a square of something the size of a grain of rice, a random fuck off leaf, and a piece of cheese so small even an Ant would be offended’.” I explain. “Cause what I saw, for the past five restaurants was bland, blander, blandest, and I just came up with ‘these restaurants can’t even feed a mouse for a day, let alone be a restaurant for the public’.” I rant.

“Truly a philistine with a broken tongue. Perhaps you need a doctor to check your head since you obviously don’t know the meaning of good food.” The pony haughtily said.

“Have you ever heard of a ‘grilled cheese sandwich’?” I ask, not believing this devil who would dare treat food like this. “Seriously, stop beating the concept of food as if you're beating a version of an orphan puppy, christ.”

“Only a three out of ten. Truly you need that doctor. Come along and we’ll find you someone to help your horribly set tongue.” The unicorn agrees.

“I can only see three reasons why your this brain dead about food.” I sigh out. “Either you hit your head when you were young and now thing that bland food is good. You are getting paid to say bland food is good and good food is bad for some fuck off reason. Or three, you either burned your tongue as a child so you can’t taste food properly, or you were born with a taste bud problem.” I say, and all of those reasons sounded quite believable to the common folk.

“This is what I like. It is the best. No other reason, you rude buffoon.” The unicorn pony snidely replies.

“There’s a difference between saying something’s ‘the best’, and completely ignoring the fact that mice would be offended by that blandness, and saying something’s ‘the best’ but keeping it as an opinion while pointing out that even a starving man would tell you ‘no’ to that.” I frown. “Your job is to be a food critic, and tell people if something’s cooked good, well, or bad. What I’m seeing is bad, not because it would taste ‘bland’, but because it looks bland, smells bland, and the amount of food you're getting for a retarded amount of money is just a giant fucking insult to people that eat food everywhere.” I rant, glaring at the deranged pony who thinks food is nothing more than just an attempt to please

“And once again you assume that your opinion means anything. You are no one here in this city and it matters not what you think. This it the food I like and the one that gets pushed to be the best. What I say goes. That’s it. End of discussion. You don’t like it, don’t eat it. Besides you’re just an alien from some other world who has been hiding in the city for who knows how long. What opinion would they accept?” The unicorn glares back.

“Gonna have to stop you there Bland Piss Ant.” I state. “You said ‘what I say goes’, so how the hell am I supposed to have an opinion? You said ‘that’s it’, so all my opinions are automatically null and void because you said so. YOU said ‘if you don’t like it, don’t eat it’, yet I’m supposed to obey your word as law, when everything you say is nothing but an opinion!” I shout angrily. “You think you're so high and mighty when you are nothing more than a random pony that says what you like and dislike. That’s your job, that’s fine to have an opinion, but when you state that your word is law, that’s when you demonize your own job as a critic and turn it into a fucking god complex.” I explain with a frown. “You are a stubborn mare who has demonized actually good cooking all because you ‘don’t like it’. Have you ever thought about all the lives your ruining? All the creativity and joy that cooking can bring is being crushed under your hooves like one would squash a bug?”

“And once again you take the stance of someone who knows more than they do. You assume you know what good food is when all you do is run around destroying things. What do you know about creating?” Her eyes turned yellow and red for a moment. “Truly chaotic and out of control. What right do you have to say about what I like and what I choose to share with others. You should just disappear from this city.”

“I never said your opinion meant fucking nothing you crazy mare.” I frown. “Opinion’s are fine, everyone has them, but your opinion destroys a lot as...well…” I trail off, the shifting eyes and how the mare knew I destroyed things. “Who are you?”

“Bye.” The mare says, her voice changing before a portal opened up below me somehow.

“Fucking hate you!” I shout as I fell through the portal.

“I hate you too!” The mare blows a kiss and smiles as her eyes turned yellow with red irises. The hate sounded more like ‘love’…weird.

I landed on the ground in the middle...of another god damned forest. “Oh for fuck sakes!” I scream, throwing my hands in the air and laying down. “Christ...and I’m still-” I was about to complain before I heard something roar, and when I looked up I saw a manticore. “...Food!” I cheer, jumping up and summoning a regular greatsword and dashing towards it, making the beast confused on why I didn’t immediately run away and I cleaved it’s head off in its confusion. “Yay! I can finally eat! Now if memory serves…” I mutter, going through my mind about how to cook manticores without accidentally poisoning the meat like a jackass.

To be continued...

Interlude III

“Well...an argument with Zesty isn’t as bad as I thought…” Celestia sighs out, agreeing with what the stick figure was saying about how Zesty has a problem with food in general.

“Oh ye of little faith. I had everything under my chaotic control.” Discord hummed as he slithered around the room conjuring up something.

“Zesty might still come here and complain about the Stick Figure…” Celestia rubs her temple. “Still can’t believe she thinks her word is law on food…” She grumbles, finding how Zesty hating Grilled Cheese sandwiches seemed silly.

“To be fair every time you go eat and hate a restaurant they go through crippling bankruptcy and fall into a squalor of horrible business deals because ponies can’t think for themselves most of the time.” He finished conjuring a large mirror which showed the stick figure fighting against a manticore.

“I know…” Celestia says, seeing the stick figure swiftly kill a wild manticore with such ease with a greatsword.

“I wonder if he knows that some manticore meat is poisoned due to faulty poison sacs in the tail.” Discord snapped his talons making the poison sacs disappear if only to have more chaos later.

Celestia saw the stick figure cut open the manticore, trying to find the poison sacs but not finding any. “Well it seems he did know about removing the poison sacs...but with them removed he might not trust it and forgo eating...again.”

“I know.” Discord snickered.

”Can’t I just eat!?!” The stick figure shouts in bitterness.

“Dear me…” Celestia grumbles, face hoofing and shaking her head.

“Oh this reminds me. I felt a disturbance…in the forest. Another spatial rift opened up a few minutes ago. Just thought I’d give you a heads up.” Discord smiled as he sent the poison sacs back.

Celestia’s eyes widened at hearing that, the the blue stick figure seeing the perfectly fine poison sacs in it’s body and sighing out, removing the poison sacs carefully and starting a fire with a sword and wood he found scattered across the forest floor. “Oh no...not more of them…” Celestia says worriedly, getting a bad feeling about this.

“Oh right…I almost forgot again. I felt several of the trees also move in the forest. You know no biggie just remembered after all what are friends for.” Discord gave a cocky smirk as he pulled a bag of popcorn out of nowhere.

“The trees moving in the Everfree?” Celestia asks, not entirely sure if that was either because of the magic there, something strange was happening, or a stick figure somehow could bend plants in any way. “This is getting worse and worse…”

“It’s not so bad in my perspective. Oh should we place bets on who wins when they fight?” Discord chewed on his popcorn.

“This isn’t the time Discord.” She frowns, seeing the blue stick figure cooking the manticore meat with practiced ease, checking the cooked meat well before gently taking a small bite from it, making Celestia hold a hoof to her mouth. “Oh dear…” She mutters, hating the sight of seeing a being eat another being.

“Oh that’s no reason to be a party pooper. Hey! LUNA! DO YOU WANT TO MAKE A BET!” Discord hollered out all across the castle.

The alicorn in question teleported into the room. “Bet on what?” Luna asks curiously, looking at the mirror and her eyes widened in horror. “What is that doing here?” Luna asks worriedly.

“Oh him? Don’t worry too much he’s harmless. He didn’t just destroy all of the Whitetail Woods in a battle with a Parasprite Queen. I’m asking ya if you want to make a bet on who wins the next fight. Blue Stick or this new one Pink Stick. Who do you choose?” Discord looked down at the now frightened Luna.

“He what!?!” Luna shouts, even more shocked at the part he destroyed Whitetail Woods while fighting that thing. “Is the Queen dead?”

“Oh yes. Squashed like a bug. Literally. And what a mess it was. I could see it now. Parts everywhere, you know the whole deal. Now about that bet?” Discord smirked again gauging Luna’s reaction.

“I’d rather not make a bet without details here Discord, especially betting against you.” Luna states, composing herself after her freak out.

“Here you are. A detailed stat sheet of what he is capable of and what she is capable of from initial viewings. This will be a friendly wager this time. No tricks at all.” Discord stated handing Luna a paper with the stats spoken of.

Luna magically grabbed the paper and looked at all the stats given. “Hmm…” She says, reading over the two combatants several times at what’s been given. “Wow...the Blue one. He seems the more versatile against his opponent, has several elemental weapons, speed and strength, while the other is just as strong she can only do so much with her powers.” Luna explains with a nod, having full faith in the Blue one to win.

“So which do you choose?” Discord smirked.

“I just told you.” Luna deadpans. “The Blue Stick Figure.”

“Excellent choice! I decided as well. It shall end in a draw with the two making out.” Discord counters. He grabbed Luna’s hoof and shook it sealing the deal.

“Why would they make out in the middle of a heated battle?” Celestia asks.

“Have you not read action stories Tia?” Luna asks bluntly. “It’s a standard trope for a male character and a female character to beat each other up and they somehow decide to make out.”

“Such a plebeian isn’t she my dear Luna. Truly the greatest convention of literary foolishness and the Princess of the Sun can’t see the writing on the wall.” Discord snapped his talon and several words seem to kiss each other on the walls of the palace.

“I’ve heard philosophers say ‘life is a story’ in one way or another...but life isn’t always filled with those cliches.” Celestia says with a frown. “And I’m sorry I’m normally up to my horn in work most of the time.” The alicorn grumbles.

“So you’re in on the bet?” Discord nudged Celestia with his elbow.

“What are we betting to begin with? Luna forgot to ask that.” Celestia frowns, causing Luna to face hoof.

“I knew I forgot something…” Luna mumbled to herself.

“I have this limited edition coin from back during my era. The only one forged in existence. A four dimensional coin.” He spun it in his talons as pockets of time stopped in certain areas.

“You do know that if anyone besides us saw that they’d...probably go mad right?” Celestia frowns.

“It’s the only reason I’m letting you two see.” Discord smirks.

“Oh god my eyes!!” A random guard screams out as he turned to stone and back in five seconds.

“Put the coin away Discord…” Celestia practically orders Discord. “I don’t want my ponies getting hurt because of your coin.”

“Eh don’t worry about it. He was pilfering from the royal cake vaults anyways.” Discord placed the coin back in his dimensional pocket. “Now Luna what have you bet?”

Celestia glared at the guard that was stealing her cake. “Well…” She starts before thinking of her pet. “How about a scale from my Quetzalcoatl?” Luna asks. “She’s been shedding a bit so getting a scale wouldn’t be too hard on her.

“Hm… I could produce a lot of alchemy products or troll Sparkle… Deal!” Discord shouted out. “Celestia?”

“Knowing full well Discord’s probably right I’m not going to bet.” Celestia says. “Stick Figures are too unpredictable, even more unpredictable than you Discord.” She says to him.

“Why do you think I’m making a bet? I have no idea what is going to happen. This is the only time where and when I can make a bet and have fun with it.” Discord grandstands and lifts his hand to the heavens as light falls down on him symbolizing his glee.

“You can enjoy screwing with the nobles for an hour during Day Court.” Celestia says, grinning and thinking that’s a win even if she loses her bet.

“Hmm…okay Celestia. That’s fair…after all…you’re part of the day court as well.” Discord grabbed her hoof and shook sealing the deal.

“I said ‘nobles’, not me.” Celestia states. “I may be a princess, but I am not a ‘noble’ as everyone explains the common ‘high class’ of Canterlot.” Celestia says with a cheeky grin.

“Unfortunately that is not how you worded it before we shook. Better luck next time Celestia.” Discord snapped his talon and poofed away.

“He...does know you were clarifying what you meant after you agreed...right Tia?” Luna asks curiously.

“Oh well. As long as the Everfree isn’t destroyed and Discord can help me bear with Day Court for at least an hour then I’ll be fine.” Celestia shrugs.

A note floated down to Celestia.

Everfree is destroyed. Property taxes rise. Stick Figures nearly turn Ponyville into an inferno. Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony saves the day and keeps Fluttershy safe. Ponyville is ruined.

Celestia’s right eye twitches. “Sometimes I just...really hate things…”

“Uh…” Luna starts before reading the note. “Oh...well...we all have those moments, no matter who we are right?” Luna says sheepishly.

Somewhere in the distance Discord’s laughter could be heard throughout Equestria.

To be continued...

Stick goes to Everfree

After triple checking the meat wasn’t poisonous and having at least one of the roaming predators try out the meat and see the thing didn’t die I finally dug into well cooked manticore meat and smiled. “Damn this is good.” I sigh happily. I kept on eating before I heard something crack and I bolted up and looked around quickly. “Who’s there?” I growl, readying myself for a fight.

“Sheesh calm down.” A feminine voice said, making me turn around and see a Pink stick figure woman brushing some of her auburn hair out of her face. “Sheesh, stupid portal.”

“Hey.” I nod. “Want some food?” I ask, lifting another stick of cooked manticore meat over the campfire.

“You made sure it’s not poisoned” She says while I nod, seeing her walk over and take the stick of meat and gently taking a bite. “Well done.” She comments, smiling a little at tasting well cooked meat that wasn’t poisoned.

“Normally try to make it that way.” I chuckle while sitting down. “Names Simon.” I say, continuing to eat my food.

“Autumn.” The pink girl says. “So, how’d you get here?” She asks, biting down on the manticore meat. “So, how’d you get here?” She asks curiously.

“Some weird winged lady cut open a portal and send me here.” I shrug. “Said her name was Faust. What about you?”

“Strolling through the woods as per my usual day, suddenly something or someone opened a portal and pushed me in.” She grumbles.

“Weird.” I frown. “Have you heard of anyone else getting shoved through weird portals?” I ask.

“No...but Oxob joined Nemesis.” Autumn tells me.

“No shit really?” I ask, a smile growing on my face. “Glad to hear he’s back in action. Who’d he fight?”

“Jade. Poor guy’s legs are still weak and Jade kind of...blew up his hands.” Autumn says sheepishly.

“Oh jeez, but knowing Jade she’d probably be nice and help the poor guy out.” I nod, continuing to eat my food. We continued to eat in relative silence, the only sounds made was either us eating, the natural sounds of the forest, or the fire crackling as we finished up the rest of the food I made. “So, how is everything back home?” I ask.

“Fine.” She shrugs. “Nothing special, just the usual.”

“Ah.” I nod. “So where you are...I have literally no idea.” I state.

“How do you not know where you are?” Autumn asks curiously.

“I was immediately chased by the candy colored ponies.” I deadpan. “They were the police, and apparently they are fucking brain dead.” I growl.

“How so?”

“So I immediately see ponies, in a world I have never been to, and the first thing I decided to do was run away from the strange beings. So then they thought I did something wrong when I was lying on the ground passed out.” I explain with a frown. “Then next up as I continue running I happen to find this ‘Parasprite Queen’, murdered the bitch after she tried attacking me and threatening to devour the world...only to have the guards both give me a Hot Fuzz reference and shout at me saying ‘you confessed to murder’ and somehow destroyed an entire forest, which when I double checked it was perfectly fine.”

“Shit.” She says, her eyes wide at my story so far.

“It get’s worse.” I groan. “So I next stop at a city on the mountain over there,” I point at the city for emphasis. “And I was getting hungry, so I searched around there for food…sewer rats would be offended by how shit their food is.”

“How bad?” She asks worriedly, making me tear off the smallest bit of cooked manticore meat, a random leaf from a tree, and a claw from the manticore.

“Imagine the claw is cheese and this is your ‘dinner’.” I frown, showing her all the food she would get at several of those places.

“How dare they!” She screams in rage.

“It gets worse!” I state angrily. “So as I’m looking at these piles of shit places that have the balls to call themselves restaurants, some old looking unicorn mare struts out and says ‘that’s the best thing ever’. I was horrified to hear someone say that in joy, so then we got into a massive debate on how she doesn’t understand food in any way shape or form, she kept belittling me and saying I ‘have a problem’, then had the fucking audacity to tell me that her word is law, for a fucking critic!” I rant angrily, my voice having gotten pretty high at seeing Autumn recoil at my tone.

“Dude...calm down just a little.” Autumn says nervously.

“Sorry…” I sigh out, rubbing my temples. “It’s just...I know their ponies and have the herd mentality, but there’s a difference between ‘herd mentality’ and ‘brain dead mentality’.” I groan.

“Damn…” Autumn says while standing up. “Well you know the one way to help relieve stress.”

“We just met.” I say cheekily, causing Autumn to blush and slap me.

“Not that kind of stress relief!” She shouts, covering her chest with her arms in embarrassment, her face turning a reddish pink now. “No, we start fighting jack ass.”

I wanted to say another dirty joke but shrugged and got up. “Okay then, so what’s your special powers?” I ask, only to get smacked upside the head by something, and when I looked it was...a tree? “The hell?”

“Welcome to my domain.” She says, raising her hands and the earth shoot as giant wooden roots were summoned from the ground and pointed at me.

“So you have power over plants huh?” I ask, shoving my hands into my pocket dimension and pulling out twin swords. “Since I don’t want to burn or freeze the place I might as well just go with good ol’ fashion swords.” I smile, getting into a ready stance.

“Ready?” She says, flowers gently floating around her.

“Fight!” I shout, bolting straight towards Autumn with blinding speed, only to having both my swords stopped by tree roots. “Cripe.” I mutter before being sent back by the force of the push.

“Wood Hammer!” Autumn shouts, raising her hand and morphing the tree root into a giant hammer and ramming it down towards me.
I swiftly dodged it and dropped one of my swords, going back in my weapon vault and bringing out a pretty high tech looking katana. She tried smacking me again with the wooden hammer only for the sounds of a katana being unsheathed and sheathed could be heard at a very fast pace. A moment passed as Autumn’s eyes widened, seeing the giant wooden hammer suddenly cut to pieces.

“One sword style…” I mutter, grabbing the hilt of my katana. “Thirty Six Calibre Phoenix!” I shout, slashing my katana towards Autumn and sending a powerful visible slash of force towards her.

“Petal Wall!” She shouts quickly, hundreds of flower petals forming into a wall, blocking my attack and sending the attack scattering to the trees, cutting them down with ease. “Well that ain’t good.” She frown.

“Crap…” I frown. “Now this is why we always fight in either a desert or a wasteland.” I say before putting down my katana and picking up my two swords from before.

“I’ll try fixing it up later.” The pink woman says. “Needle Rain!” She shouts, raising the tree ‘vine’ up into the air and it suddenly spawning a shit ton of needles.

“Shit.” I frown, seeing it shoot thousands of needles down at me as I swiftly deflected all of them in a barely visible flurry of blades. I leaped to the side and ran around her, continuing to block the needles that kept raining down. “Three sword style…” I mutter, swiftly grabbing both of my dropped swords and biting the hilt of my unsheathed katana and seeming to stop time for a second. “Blade Whirlwind!” I shout, hopping a it before spinning like a top, making me force back all the needles as a flurry of slashes kept me going until I made it to the needle vine and I passed through it, the entire thing just falling to bits as I stopped and floated in the air. “Three sword style.”

“Hidden art.” Autumn mutters.

“Three thousand worlds!” I shout, seeming to dash off of the air straight towards Autumn.

“Gaia’s Wrath!” She shouts, a giant green symbol appeared as vines burst forth out of it.

“I hope Celestia got my message…” Twilight says worriedly.

“Don’t worry Twilight, everything’s going to-” Spike was about to say before a giant explosion could be heard. “Be...fine…” Spike says before being grabbed in Twilight’s magic and rushed out.

“What the buck!?!” Twilight shouts, seeing a massive dust cloud coming from the Everfree Forest.

“What the heck is that?” Spike asks, pointing up in the sky and seeing two beings flying in the air, one using swords and the other using petals as far as Spike could tell.

“Oh my Celestia…” Twilight mutters, rushing off to stop the two.

“Eagle Rage!” I shout, wind swirling around my leg as I dive kicked Autumn. She blocked yet again with her petal wall but I swiftly drove her down deeper into our forest battle ground.

“Petal Blizzard!” She shouts, her wall of petals suddenly bursting around us, the petals starting to swirl around me and cut at my arms and body in a flurry of red.

“Mega kick!” I shout, my left leg glowing a bright white before I slam my foot into Autumn’s stomach and sending her speeding down into the ground, causing a small explosion and cracks to form in the ground. “Megaton Punch!” I shout, my fist glowing a bright red as I dashed towards her.

“Water Lily Swallow!” She shouts, raising a hand up and a water lily seemed to appeared out of nowhere and ate me. The water started filling the lily rather quickly and trying to drown me.

“Tempest!” I shout, starting to spin in such a cramped space and cutting through the lily with my swords, flying out of it rather quickly.

“Creeping Vine!” She says, slamming her hand into the ground, snake like vines starting to dashing towards me. I readied my blades as the vines tried lunging for my arms and legs, swiftly slashing them away before feeling something touch my back. “Deadly Nightshade.” She says, pushing her palm into the ground and a force rammed me into the ground, a searing pain spreading through my back quickly.

I screamed in pain, twisting around and slashing the plant apart and getting it off of me. “That’s it lady, no more mister nice guy.” I growl. “Three sword style…”

“Thorn prison!” She shouts, summoning a massive cage of wood, spikes pointed towards me to try to keep me from moving.

“Tiger Song.” I whisper, the sound of my swords touching a wooden shield the only thing Autumn heard as she grunted in effort.

“Oaken Shield…” She says, feeling the force behind that strike, her shield having just barely stopped the attack. “Bark Rot.” She starts, the shield starting to rot and cover the blades and flecks of rotten wood.

I dashed away and swung my blade towards the ground, sending the rotting flecks onto some bushes and seeing the thing instantly rot away. “Damn…” I frown.

“Come on, is that all?” Autumn says while getting up, summoning two giant Venus Flytraps. “The power of nature is still hungry.” She says with a grin.

“Also really strong.” I point out. “Probably has something to do with the world…” I mutter, readying myself again for her next attack.

“Go!” She commands, sending the fly traps dashing towards me rather quickly, their mouths oozing with acid as they prepared to bit down on me.

“Choco Slash!” I shout, dashing forward as Autumn saw a massive Chocobo claw ram into both the Venus flytraps, sending them up into the air instead of instantly torn to pieces. “Psi-Tempest!” I add, flying up into the air, spinning my swords along with myself like a wheel and cutting all the way up one of the Flytraps.

“Heh.” Autumn smirks. “Spore Cloud!” She shouts, the split in half Flytrap suddenly shooting out yellow spores, making me fall down and cough loudly.

“Shit!” I shout, coughing and holding my throat and coughing like mad. I felt the paralyses force it’s way into my body. ”Shit...not again.” I mentally groan, taking a deep breath and calming myself down. “Chi Pulse...” I manage to say, as a pulse of gold surrounded me, causing Autumn to cover her eyes at the golden glow as I swiftly got up and checked if I could move properly. “Thank you Master Zheng.” I sigh out thankfully.

“Well glad to see that attack didn’t stop you.” Autumn says with a cocky grin. “I’m having fun, but I still have tricks up my sleeve.”

“I have only used swords and my hands and legs...I have yet to show you anything about me.” I grin, putting my swords back in my armory and summoning a rapier and a parrying dagger. “Rose Dance…” I mutter before dashing swiftly.

“Oaken Shield!” She shouts, the same shield made of oak popping up in front of the plant bender and thinking it’ll block my attack...only for her to be jabbed into the side by a sharp point. “Gah!”

“It’s a dance, it’s never just one way.” I say, causing her to shoot a bunch of petals towards me as I dodge again and jabbed her other side.

“Seeded Veil!” She shouts, raising her arms up and a seed enveloped her, causing me to stab into a seed that was as hard as a rock.

“Shit.” I growl, feeling the ground rumble before an oaken vine appeared below me and sent me flying. “Shit!” I shout, putting my weapons away and summoning a hammer, landing back on the ground and dashing at the seed, the oaken vine blocking me. “Batter Up!” I shout, ramming my hammer into the oaken vine and breaking it like a twig and smashing into the seed, separating it from the ground and sending it flying. “And it’s going! Going!” I call out, before another explosion could be seen. “And it’s go-” I was about to say, before hearing a small ‘crack’, making me look down at a plant bomb. “Oh come on!” I shout, the plant exploding and sent me flying towards her as well.

“Spiky shield.” She says to herself, the seed growing massive serrated thorns out of it and making her defense even better.

As I was sent flying towards her I found the seed with spikes on it now. “That’s it! MEGATON PRESS!” I shout, raising my hammer up and ramming it at the side of the spikey seed, the woman inside it feeling a massive blunt force ram her into the side of her seed and sent her flying yet again towards somewhere, small cracks starting to form from the strong impacts from the hammer and the impact of the ground. After I saw it flying I dashed off to find where the seed landed.

After a good run I found the seed land near an...Apple Farm? “The hell?” I frown, seeing the seed finally crack and open.

“Good.” She pants. “Dance of the Fallen Apples!” She shouts, ramming her hand into the ground and sending a pulse through it, heading straight forwards the trees. I was confused for a moment before the ground started to shake and the trees started….coming to life!?!

“Oh for fuck sakes!” I shouts. “Do you know how screwed someone is!?”

“Still gonna kick your ass!” She shouts, a tree pulling an apple out of it’s branches and throwing it at me, causing me to dodge on reflex and it was good because the fucking thing explodes!

“How the fuck!?!” I scream, seeing the apple trees now starting to charge at me. “Christ.” I groan, putting my hammer in my portable armory and pulling out two great swords. “Wraith of the Berserker!” I shout, the blades thrumming and runes starting to go down my arms and around my head, my eyes starting to turn a pure red and my black hair starting to grow and turn white. Once that was done I sort of lost control and dashed into the army of explosive apple trees, becoming nothing but a whirlwind of rage and swords as I cleaved through tree after tree without much of a problem.

“H-how the!?” She shouts, before a loud ‘eek!’ was heard as she ducked swiftly to dodge a tree being literally thrown at her, my roars of rage being heard in the middle of a massive tree invasion.

“WHAT IN TARNATION!?!” Applejack screams and rushes towards the pink stick figure. “Lady what in the hay is going on here?”

“I...uh…” She stutters, not sure what the fuck to be more worried about, me literally ripping an entire orchard of apples a collective new one, or the fact an orange pony was talking.

“And how in Celestia’s name did my apple orchard suddenly start running after that thing!?” Applejack shouts, royally pissed that a good portion of her family’s apples are now being destroyed without a single fuck given.

“I...may have...kinda...brought them to life?” She asks nervously, feeling like her words are gonna bite her in the ass.

“YOU WHAT!?!” The apple pony screams in rage, only to be stopped as a roar of rage could be heard with me standing on top of a bunch of twitching trees, and one of them actually did the ‘help me~’ motion before dropping dead. “Uh…”

“Shit...I have one more move…” She mutters, getting up and dashing over to me. My pure red eyes staring at her stopped her dead in her tracks, only for me to roar again and dash after her swiftly. “No no no!” She screams, only to hear a sudden ‘trip’ noise sound out before her and myself end up tumbling to the ground, my greatswords vanishing suddenly and me gaining some sort of conscious thought back.

“Hmm?” I wonder, suddenly feeling something soft on my lips and something even softer on my hand. “Hmm??” I hum worriedly, having a bad feeling about this. I looked down and saw Autumn’s eyes, wide with a mixture of furry and...something else. I gently lifted my head up and noticed the softness on my lips were gone. “Uh…”

“You….” She starts, only to be disturbed from her massive rant.

“WOO~! I WON THE BET!” Discord shouted out.

“Who the fuck are you?” I shout, staring at the random noise.

Discord warped away and left behind an apple.

“The hell?” I mutter, squeezing my hand accidentally.

“YOU!” Autumn shouts, making me look down and seeing her face completely red...and making me look down and I saw my hand on her C-cup breast. “PERVERT!” She screamed, using what little distance we had to slap me and send me away five feet. “You stupid pervert! How dare you kiss me and fondle me like that!”

“I was in the middle of a Berserker’s rage!” I shout, rubbing the red hand shaped mark on my face.

“That doesn’t excuse you for kissing me and fondling me asshole!” Autumn shouted, covering her breasts angrily. “Baka…” She growls.

“Did you seriously just say that!?” I shout, flabbergasted at hearing her say that.

“I WANT TO PUNCH HER IN HER SOUL!” Shouted a now hopping mad Pinkie Pie.

“The fuck?” Me and Autumn say at the same time. “Who the fuck are you?”

“Hi I’m Pinkie Pie. I hunt down weebs and make parties in my spare time.” She pulled out a mini cannon aimed at us.

“Oaken Shield!” Autumn shouts, summoning a wooden shield from the massive pile of destroyed trees. I swiftly hid behind Autumn and the shield.

“Seriously, the fuck is going on?” I say worriedly.

“FIRE IN THE HOLE!!” The cannon swallowed the shield and fires it into the sky towards the Badlands… “Whoopsie I sent them both.” Pinkie grinned at Applejack who merely grumbled in frustration.

“I hate everything…” Applejack mutters, looking at the desecrated trees and not knowing what to do.

Discord popped in and with a snap of his talons all the trees reappeared back in their original forms. He then gave Applejack a piece of paper with the bill. She took one look and fainted at all the zeroes.

“Well this sucks…” I frown, somehow getting in a sitting position as I saw Autumn fly away twice as fast as me. “She seemed nice though…” I sigh out, continuing to fly towards a massive wasteland. “Oh, now wasteland!” I shout, feeling myself descend. “God...I need some sleep.” I grumble, taking a deep breath and just pinching my nose at all this bullshit. “But I won’t get sleep cause more bullshit is gonna happen.” I growl, just knowing my next ‘adventure’ will involve more fighting and more of me getting slightly more pissed.

To be continued...

Interlude IV

“Damn it!” Luna throws up her hooves, hating how she lost the friendly bet. “I know nothing important was at stake but still.”

“Woo!” Discord did the same dance he did way back when he was on top of the glass paned Twilight Sparkle’s head.

“I can’t believe that actually happened…” Celestia sighs out.

“Explosions in the Everfree and roaring at Sweet Apple Acre’s? Can I get a break!?!” Twilight shouts, the three having heard it from the mirror.

“Oh don’t worry so much about that. I fixed it up before it got any worse anyways. Now I get to annoy Celestia and the nobles later. Also Luna I’ll be needing those scales.” Discord mumbled to himself.

“I only said a scale Discord.” Luna sighs out. “But I’ll be off to find her…” She says, getting up and teleporting away.

“Hm… Wait…when did you get here Twilight… Wait never mind my imagination… or maybe I could see through the veil of reality.” Discord mused to himself

“The mirror panned to Twilight.” Celestia says, pointing a hoof to the mirror, showing the frantic mare trying to figure out what in the wide world is going on.

“Now it’s time to see what happens to the Stick Figure.” Discord conjured a portal showing the Stick Figure falling into the Badlands.

“Wait...Chrysalis is there…” Celestia frowns, already sensing something bad is going to happen.

“Well, well, well… Two birds one stone I guess. What do you think Twilight?” Discord poked the mirror and Twilight yelped when she felt the talon press her nose.

“What the buck!?!” Twilight yelps, wondering how her nose got poked.

“Well...all I can hope is that the Badlands don’t turn into the Wastelands…” She sighs out, fearing for the changelings safety here and she saw the stick figure getting up and dust himself off, pulling out a bo staff and using it as a walking stick as he started traversing the new environment.

“Princess? Can you hear me?” Twilight asks.

“Oh, yes Twilight.” Celestia nods.

“Did you get my letter princess?” Twilight asks.

“About the stick figure?” Celestia asks, already having a good feeling about what she sent her.

“How did you know?” Twilight asks, Celestia starting to read the letter quickly.

“The guards said you met one not too long ago.” Celestia says honestly.

“I wonder if they actually met or she was flabbergasted from seeing a mountain be destroyed.” Discord snarked out as he floated in the air and watched as several changelings were looking around the stick figure’s impact site. With a flick of his claw the stick figure was invisible to them for another few minutes.

“I asked him who he was...but a guard basically attacked him.” Twilight says. “He was probably panicking...and when I saw him fight that weird creature...and Discord told me of my mistake…” Twilight sighs out.

“It’s alright Twilight.” Celestia says gently. “But did he hurt anyone or anything?”

“Discord hurt Applejack with a bill.” Twilight said, causing Celestia to glare at Discord.

“You charged Applejack for fixing her orchard?” The solar princess asks the draconequus.

“Yup a little prank to keep her on her hooves. I wasn’t actually going to collect.” Discord guffawed as he rolled around trying to keep his laughter to a minimum, “The look on her face. Priceless! I even took a photo of it. Now on the embarrassing faces of the rich and famous I’m putting it next to the Twilight one I took a few days back.”

“Sweet me…” Celestia sighs out. “But what do you think of this stick figure Twilight?”

“He’s a hero for one...but because he panicked about being so different to us all the guards think he’s a villain for literally no reason.” Twilight frowns.

“Was it no reason or an amusing set of circumstances that spiraled out of control because word choices which shouldn’t be said to an officer of the law in any position could get you arrested anyways because of suspicion. Probably cause is a pain in the flank sometimes.” Discord mused as he saw his invisibility spell on the stick figure fade.

“Can’t you and Pinkie just leave it ‘was it this or that’? Please? It’s honestly getting annoying here.” Twilight sighs out. “But it started off with a random ‘he ran’, so it started off as no reason, then the guards said because he ‘destroyed’ Whitetail woods, which most of it involved that monster, then he said he killed a monster…” She shakes her head. “Oi vey...guy can’t get a break.”

“I understand Twilight.” Celestia tells her.

“And then Pinkie, in some random act of violence, decided to shoot him and another stick figure with one of her cannons. Why? No idea!” She says bitterly.

“SHE DESTROYED APPLEJACK’S TREES!” Pinkie Pie shouted from somewhere off screen.

“Then why am I seeing all of Applejack’s trees perfectly fine?” Twilight deadpans.

“Yo!” Discord raised his talons.

“Of course…” Twilight sighs out.

“So he did really destroy Whitetail and I still haven’t got my parade Celly.” Discord pouted. “I have been fixing a lot of things and not even charging a bit. I say that deserves some recognition.” Discord laughed.

Celestia just rubbed her temples, feeling her headache turning into a massive migraine with all this crap. “It hasn’t even been a full day yet and I’m already getting a migraine…” She mumbles to herself.

“Mind if I ask if you know anything about those things Princess?” Twilight asks.

“Stick Figures are harder to explain then Discord.” Celestia states bluntly.

“Ooh ooh! Pick me. I can explain. Though your eyes may fall out of your head. Well such is the price for knowledge eh, Bookworm?” Discord prepared a chalkboard with moving pictures.

“Just give me something to go on besides a book that said ‘they exist’ and nothing else.” Twilight groaned.

“They are dangerous.” Discord deadpanned. “More dangerous than me, Tirek, and Chrysalis combined.” Then he smirked and showcased one of the battles he had with a stick figure long ago and only winning because he tricked them back into their portal.

Twilight stared at the showcase in disbelief. “But...how? How can a being be stronger than a literal manifestation of chaos?”

“You’d be surprised how far the entropy goes when you start getting to my level. And to think I’m only the fourth strongest level of chaos possible.” Discord rolled his eyes.

“Wait what?” Twilight asks in confusion and worry.

“It goes Confusion is first tier, Hatred is second, Rage is third, Discord is fourth, Creation is fifth, and Destruction is final. Or something like that. It gets jumbled in my head from time to time. You’d be surprised how many times purple tastes like cranberries and sky is an orange.” Discord smirked down at Twilight and gauged her reaction.

Twilight took a deep breath, rubbing her temple gently. “Okay then...good to know that.” Twilight says. “But...wait...when did that battle take place?”

“Two thousand years or so Discord?” Celestia asks curiously, wondering if she got the years right.

“Five thousand two hundred and seventy six years, eight months, twelve days, ten hours, eight minutes, forty three seconds ago to this exact moment.” Discord said out loud.

Twilight gasped at hearing that. “That long ago?”

“Yes. During that time Stick Figures were honestly more common than not. But then around two thousands years ago they started dwindling in number, and the day when I banished Nightmare Moon away...they ceased to appear all together.”

“Woo! Go Team Immortal!!” Discord shouted out as a painting appeared showcasing a very badass Celestia, Luna and Discord appeared fighting off an army of Grey Stick Figures.

“I’m still surprised you have that Discord.” Celestia shakes her head. “Too bad we learned that most Grey Stick Figures are literally test dummies…” She sighs out.

“You tell your story your way and I’ll tell it mine.” Discord groused out. “I’m hanging this in the court when I get the chance.”

“I never said they were weak.” Celestia amended. “Those were the days...that I both miss and hate and with a burning passion.” She frowns, loving peace but not having had a good fight in ages made her sense of battle dwindle a lot.

“Don’t give Twilight too much. Poor mare looks like she’s gonna faint from pleasure.” Discord chuckled.

Twilight was drooling at least before she wiped away the drool quickly. “I’m so sorry princess!”

“It’s alright Twilight...I hoped they never appeared again...but hopefully this blue one...Simon...is a hero…”

“So glad I took the picture.” Discord showcased a picture of Twilight drooling and placed it in his memories book. “These are the days we look back on and laugh our flanks off at how foolish everypony can be.” He quickly placed the book far away from where any magic could affect it.

“True enough.” Celestia agreed, enjoying some of her funnier memories as well. “So Twilight, are you glad to hear our history lesson?”

“I can’t believe all that even happened…” Twilight says, her mind going through so much just from the little amount of info she was given.

“HEY LUNA! WHERE’S MY SCALE!” Discord shouted out as the changelings finally looked to see Simon…”Uh oh forgot about the invisibility spell…well what are you gonna do, Butterfingers?” Discord shrugged.

“Oh come on!” They heard Simon shout before running away from the weird bug things.

“Oh dear…” Celestia sighs out. “All of this within a day…”

“Eh, Could be worse. I could be there already having more fun. Also forgot to mention once again, several more portals are beginning to open in different areas of Equestria. So yeah… good luck with that. I have a date with my chaos bed with the detachable spike tops. Bye.” Discord snapped and was gone in a flash.

“And more stick figures are appearing...” She mutters. “What is going on?” She wonders, thinking something bad is just out of sight but just waiting to spring up at any moment.

A note floated down once again from above Celestia and read.

Changelings displaced. After the brutal death of their queen all changelings apply for citizenship in Equestria. Ponies in panic. Maybe...

“Luna! Get ready for a lot of paperwork!” Celestia calls out, only to see Luna walk in and groan, holding a scale from her pet.

“I’ll take that.” A claw burst out of Luna’s mane and took the scale then slunk back in as if nothing happened.

To be continued...

Stick goes to Badlands

“Why me?” I complain, continuing to run away from the insect things.

“Get back here!” A male voice calls out.

“Never!” I shout, grabbing a rock quickly and throwing it at them, hearing the rock hit the ground again. “Why are you chasing me!?”

“You are in Changeling Territory!” A ‘changeling’ answers.

“For fuck sakes…” I groan. “Just leave me alone alright?”

“Can we at least talk for a second?” A female changeling asks.

“No! The last time someone ‘talked’ to me they insulted food!” I shout, continuing to run away through the wastelands.

“The hell is he talking about?” A changeling asks curiously before I stop and turn around, the changelings stopping rather quickly as well.

“What do you consider food?” I ask the weird and kind of sickly looking bug horses.

“We feed off of love.” A changeling said.

“No no, I mean food, not just a random emotion you feed off of to sustain your magic.” I frown, only to have the changelings look between each other.

“We’ve...never actually been outside of the Badlands so...we don’t know.” The changeling says with a shrug.

“Oh my sweet christ…” I groan loudly. “What are your names?”

“Drone numbe-”

“What’s your genders?” I ask, swiftly ruining the changelings attempt at ‘naming’.

“Uh...I’m a male.” One of the changelings says.

“Me as well.” The other nods.

“I’m female.” The changeling that looks exactly the fucking same as the others said, but her voice sounding distinctly feminine.

“John,” I say, pointing to the male changeling on the right. “Anna,” I say to the feminine sounding changeling. “And George.”

“Why are you giving us these...names?” John asks curiously.

“Because having to call you a number is stupid, demeaning, and by the looks of it, makes sure you are nothing more than a worthless pile of crap if you don’t do your job or just be useful in anyway shape or form.” I explain to the three, making them all look worriedly towards each other.

“Uh...our queen cares about us.” George the changeling says worriedly.

“Then why do you look like you're starving, have about as many holes in you as swiss cheese, and have the aura of three people who are trying their damndest not to fall over right now?” I ask with a frown, causing them to flinch at the last part.

“H-how did he know?” Anna whispers, and sadly for her I could still hear her.

“It’s obvious to tell your weak and on the brink of starving.” I state. “Jesus christ, what kind of torture is your queen putting you through?”

“What torture?” The changelings all ask at the same time.

“Feeding you just enough to stay on your feet and not die, but keep you away your strength and make you feel the pain of starvation.” I state, seeing the three changelings eyes widen in shock.

“Th-that can’t be true!” Anna shouts.

“You’re lying!” John shouts, taking a step forward and the obvious sign his leg was feeling weak evident even though he’s trying to put up a strong front.

“Where’s your queen?” I frown.

“Why would we tell you?” George growls, trying to charge his horn but wincing a bit.

“Tell me now so you three don’t hurt yourselves.” I state, the changelings sensing my emotions and feeling my honest care and worry about the three who were on the brink of starving.

“Why do you care?” Anna asks bitterly.

“If you were to see a starving child ask you for food, what would you do?” Simon asks.

“We would…” Anna says, thinking a moment about her answer. “We would…”

“Would you help the child? Or would you just tell the poor kid to go away?” I ask.

“What does this have to do with us?” John asks.

“I see three starving children trying to act strong when they can barely stand as is.” I say. “Just you three trying to follow me alone tired you all out.” I sigh out before picking them all up, just from picking them up and already telling how malnourished they are. “Christ...practically just skin and bone.” I shake my head while carrying all three of the bug horses a little awkwardly.

“What the hell are you doing?” Anna frowns.

“Helping.” I state, continuing my trek through the badlands. “Given that you look like insects and you have a queen...where’s your hive?” I ask.

“You’ll find a giant black building about a mile from here. It’ll be just an extra two miles after that to get to it proper.” John sighs out.

“Thank you.” I nod, making sure John and George were being held in my arms and Anna was holding onto my back. “Hold on tight.” Simon says while starting to run off towards the hive, the changelings holding on for dear life as I ran through the place with a decent amount of speed as to not hurt the three. Ten minutes of running later I skidded to a halt and was about a hundred meters away from the massive black monolith that they called a ‘hive’. “Shit…” I mutter to myself, honestly amazed to see such a giant thing in the middle of nowhere.

“The only entrance is through Changeling magic. All other magics in this world can’t get past it’s anti-magic field.” Anna the changeling says to me.

“That’s not how anti-magic fields work but whatever.” I frown, putting down the three changelings and checking his little ‘armory’ just to make sure he could use it, and he soon grabbed a double sided knife that seemed to reverberate in the air. “Cool….but I have a feeling I’m gonna need a little extra…” I mutter, putting the blade in its sheath and putting it at my side, pulling out a great sword that looked like it was made out of some form of rock that rested on his back comfortably, and he pulled out two fingerless leather gloves that he put on his hands. “Right then. I think I’m set.”

“How in the world?” The changeling’s all said simultaneously, dumbstruck at seeing someone using magic so close to their hive and in the field, as well as seeing the weapons that seemed so obviously coated in magic still working that it was almost like these weapons were designed from gods.

“What? Never heard of enchantments before?” I ask curiously.

“What?” Anna asks with a raised eyebrow.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Simon nods. “So...do I just punch through the door or do I get a door?”

“Oh, hold on.” George said before charging his horn, the changeling taking a deep breath before a magical door appeared for the four of us.

“Want to come in?” I ask, the changelings still feeling how much I cared about their safety that they were starting to feel just a little bit better.

“Yes, no need for you to be running around blindly in there.” Anna nods.

“Us to.” George and John said as well, making me nod and thinking they just wanted to help, when in reality they were staying around me to feed off of the ambient care I had for the three that they wanted to just keep secretly feeding just so they could gather their strength.

“Well let’s head on in.” I nod, the four of us starting our adventure into the dark abyss that this hive was. Once the magical door was gone and the sun stopped lighting up the place barely I noticed the place looked...a little bit Xenomorph-ish for some reason. “They know we’re here right?” I ask in a deadpanned voice.

“With how you literally wear your emotions on your sleeves then yes.” Anna nods.

“Hmm…” I hum to myself. “Can you three stop ‘sensing’ emotions?” I ask curiously.

“FOOOOOD~!” The word echoes throughout the hive.

“Uh...why?” I ask with a worried frown.

“Remember when you said we only ‘eat emotions to sustain our magic’?” Anna asks.

“Yes…” I nod, not liking where this is going.

“Emotions are literally our food supply.” John frowns.

“I hate everything.” I groan, before taking a deep breath, fixing my weapons, tightening my gloves...and running. “Nope!” I shout before bolting in a random direction, the changelings suddenly tasting licorice.

“Never was a fan of licorice…” John mutters, before the three rush off to try and find me as I was suddenly out of sight.

“CAPTURE THE INTRUDER!” A voice rings out throughout the hive. And as soon as I heard that I started to hear a fuck load of buzzing, hissing, and licking noises.

“NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE!” I scream repeatedly.

“Delicious~! He tastes so good!” A voice rings out from one of the holes in the wall.

“I’M KEEPING MY VIRGINITY DAMN IT!” I shout.

“The fuck!?!” A collective amount of voices shouted at the same time, not believing what I just said.

“That’s sick. What kind of monster are you. We’re just going to feed on your emotions like a battery. We’re civilized here meatsack.” Another voice calls out.

“THAT’S WHAT ALL SUCCUBI SAY BEFORE THEY STEAL YOUR SOUL THROUGH YOUR JUNK!” I scream, only confusing them more.

“I’ll have you know my mother is a saint!” Another voice calls out.

“Wait what?” I ask, now honestly confused by that. “Then why do you all work on Succubi logic?”

“It’s not succubus logic. It’s fae knowledge you fool. We feed on emotions. Besides no amount of what size of your junk would ever be enough.” Another voice cries out resoundly male in tone.

I couldn’t help but laugh at hearing the man. “Wow dude! I can’t believe a guy just shouted that!” I laugh at the implications.

“Hey! We accept all kinds here. Keep your opinions to yourself!” Another voice calls out sounding female.

“It’s called ‘timing’ woman!” I shout.

“His happiness is so delicious~” Another low voice calls out…creepily.

“Fuck this!” I say, now completely done before turning around and bringing out my great sword. “Ground Dasher!” I shout, flipping it around and stabbing it into the ground, the floor in front of me and ten meters away cracked open, rocks suddenly shooting up and smacking the changelings in rapid succession before I pulled out my sword and kept running. ”Okay so these fuckers feed off of emotions...shit...need to just calm down and relax, I can’t be frantic…” I think to myself, trying to calm myself down and let the made up sound of water flowing be my guide to not feeling.

“All food should be like tofu and not be flavored at all that’s the only way they should taste!!” A voice calls out.

I stop for a moment and raise my great sword. “Stalagmite!” I shout, before a massive coned rock shot up and somehow hit the person who just screamed heresy!

“HE’S OVER THERE!!” Another voice cries out.

“MEDIC!” The hurt voice calls out.

“MEDICS CAN’T SAVE YOU NOW YOU FUCKING HERETIC!” I scream, the stalagmite lowering before punching into the fucker again.

Several changelings stayed out of sight feeding on my emotions…several dozens. “A little spicy now but still good.”

“Cripe…” I mutter, taking a deep breath and feeling a tad...weaker somehow. ”Shit! Bad things are happening, go back to being calm...relax...remember your training…”

“Women shouldn’t have rights!” Another voice calls out this one female.

“Hypocrite.” I state calmly. “A female just told me ‘we don’t discriminate’, yet you just saod women shouldn’t have rights...also you have a queen...so hypocrite.” I state calmly, my emotions starting to simmer down.

“5463 I told you that didn’t work before and why did you have to do that now?” Another drone calls out.

“It worked on that one unicorn we had. He was really stupid. Heck this guy here walked straight into a hive because he thought he knew better than he really did 4923.” The drone known as 5463 answered.

“Then insult his dick size or say something about how the only people who ever will love him have to be drawn on paper to even be worth his while. Jeez we can’t always think that PC flame posts will make them freak out.” 4923 answered.

I carefully waited, my emotions starting to drop off quicker as I calmly, and politely waited for them to stop ranting at each other.

“Don’t forget how his taste buds seem to be wrong since he thinks that being calm makes him not feedable. Ha! What a riot. It tastes very creamy.” 4923 creepily licked his lips.

“Listen while I accept gay people and all that jazz, I’d rather not know how much you like to taste my cream alright?” I ask, not believing he just said that.

“But I’m a woman…” She frowns as her ear fins droop down. She then flies off crying.

“And this is why I try not to care.” I sigh out. “Too many people talking, too many people trying to get my attention…” I say, rubbing my temple just a little.

A magic beam fires out hitting my leg. “This isn’t working just blast him!” A male voice calls out.

“Ow…” I mutter before running off again, my leg hurting from the hit but thankfully it wasn’t broken.

Another changeling rushes out and bites my other leg.

“Ow!” I yelp, swiftly kicking the Changeling’s head and making him get off my leg. ”Shit...this is bad...very bad…” I think to myself, trying to find my center in this frantic hell just so I could stop feeling and get an upper hand here.

Another jumps from the ceiling hole and onto my shoulders biting into it. I rammed my fist into the changeling on my shoulder and get him off as I tried running again, my vision starting to blur from everything. ”That’s either because of emotion draining...or an agent from their bite...fuck...can’t feel my hurt leg now…” I think to myself, forcing myself to continue moving as the river in my head kept going on, seeming to not get me any closer to the ‘no emotion’ pond I’m mentally looking for.

Another three jumped for my limbs biting into them leaving my hurt leg from being bit as well. “Huh…?” I mutter, looking at the biting changelings and not feeling anything. “Oh...haven’t felt like this in long time…” I mutter to myself, wondering if I’m only staying up because of the changelings or my body forcing me to stay up.

“Nostalgia tastes a bit like soup…thanks for the meal.” A changeling looks me in the eye before headbutting me into unconsciousness.

(third person)

“Oh no…” Anna mutters, having seen the entire thing and how hard he tried to stop them even through words and his emotions, and he seemed close to not feeling any emotion at all.

“Crap...we better hurry.” John says while leading his two fellow changelings to the throne room, the three having fed more and felt stronger because of both the ambient emotions they were feeding on and before he entered with how genuine his emotions were.

“Let’s hope we can help him, that much Changeling Venom could kill him…” George mutters worriedly.

“BRING THE INTRUDER BEFORE ME!” Chrysalis yells to the masses of changelings. An unconscious Simon was already being wrapped in a cocoon for easy storage.

“Not good…” Anna mutters, the three moving faster to help their new friend

“Fellow changelings! You have done well to capture the intruder and bring us our new food source. Once I bite him he will be in his most fondest fantasies forever living out things that bring out the most love. We shall have our vengeance on Canterlot!” Chrysalis bends down biting into Simon’s arm. Chrysalis felt...nothing.

“WHERE IS HE!” Chrysalis cried out as several changelings start to fly around searching for him.

Anna, George and John were carrying the unconscious Simon as fast as they could. “Thank god I could teleport him…” Anna mutters.

“OVER HERE!” Several poof sounds resound out as several changelings warped in.

“Oh god damn it!” George shouted.

“Got it!” The changeling said while charging his horn and firing a bolt at one of the changelings, smacking them dead in the chest and charging for another one.

“ENOUGH!” Chrysalis warped in firing bolt after bolt of magic at the traitors. The changelings quickly leapt out of the way, George taking all of Simon’s weight on his back while the three started running away quickly, taking a sharp right into one of the thousands of identical corridors and continuing to run

Chrysalis kept warping around using the ambient magic to keep track of the fleeing changelings while coordinating them to block off passages. The hive was alive and it obeyed Chrysalis to the letter of her will.

“Not good not good…” George muttered, the three using every branching path, ceiling hole, and literally every hallway and crevice they could to get away from them or at least wait till Simon woke up from.

A beam shot from the floor hitting Anna. Chrysalis crawled up looking like a wall crawling spider twisting her head back into place. “Anna!” John yelped, quickly moving over to the female Changeling and picking her up and putting her on his back. “This isn’t good.” He mutters, charging his magic and firing a bolt at Chrysalis in hopes to distract her.

Chrysalis charged in dodging the bolt and biting George on the horn injecting her neurotoxin directly into his brain. “Gah!” George shouts before falling over instantly.

“George!” John shouts before magicking over both Simon and George and charging his magic to put a green bubble around them all, protecting them with all the emotions he was given and fed off of from Simon.

“Come into my web said the spider to the fly. Buzzing around sadly because he was about to die. Traitors come and go to this very day. But you will never escape and have your happy way.” Chrysalis rhymed out while she used her horn to pop the shield as if it wasn’t there. “I’ve been taking your emotions since I felt you. I had a sad feeling my children would be seduced by one of those horrid stick figures who destroyed the badlands once long ago.”

“W-what?” John asks, blinking at hearing such a thing. “But...how?”

“A figure known as Marco decided we were nothing more than bugs. Enjoying squishing us…squishing mother…ripping her neck off. We will not let them do that again. Out of all the children three survived. We will not let that happen again. Now move you fool before he gets up and destroys us all.” Chrysalis shoved John out of the way bending down to bite Simon.

“Wait!” John shouts, only for something either miraculous...or horrifying happened. As John was about to plead for Simon’s life Chrysalis flew into a wall hard. John looked over at Simon who’s fist was up in the air, balled up into a fist, which probably was what made Chrysalis fly up. “S-simon?” John asks worriedly.

“Defend…” Simon mutters, getting up quickly and mindlessly brushing himself off, John seeing Simon’s eyes and seeing they were hollow, like he was still unconscious but somehow still moving.

“Simon?” John repeats, his worry growing as he feels nothing from the stick figure but a horrid feeling ran up his spine, the changeling sensing absolute nothing radiating from Simon.

“Protect.” He says, his words echoing from the walls as he kneeled down and checked both Anna and George to see if they were okay, somehow knowing they were there when he was completely unconscious.

“Chrysalis...what’s going on?” John asks worriedly, not understanding the feeling he was getting and why he was checking to see if his friends were okay even though he wasn’t there to begin with.

“Stick figures are notorious for being willing to kill at a heartbeat to solve their problems. This one has fully embraced his sociopathic nature. Get him out of here before he kills the entire changeling race with his emotions. Now!” Chrysalis snarls out as several of the changelings swarmed away from Simon.

“Where’s...my first aid…?” He asks, his hollow words being strange when Chrysalis thought he was a monster.

Chrysalis teleported away with several of her drones. Her eyes were harsh before she fully disappeared as if she was looking back into the past about what happened so long ago.

“Simon…” John asks again, the stick figure getting a concerned look but still nothing was there. “Simon!” John shouted.

“Help…” Simon states to the changeling.

“Hold on…” He says while charging his horn and opening a door and helping him get the two outside.

I woke up...and the first thing to meet me is the harsh light of day. “Ho fuck that’s bright!” I shout, covering my eyes as the changeling suddenly felt his annoyance and shock suddenly.

“Simon what the hell was that!?” John shouted.

“Huh? Oh, hey John...why the hell are we outside?” I ask honestly.

“You...what happened?” John asks worriedly. “You were unconscious, but you were moving...what the hell?”

“I have..no idea.” I say with a frown, trying to remember what happened. “I was knocked out...but if memory serves, back from my world, it’s actually a condition from someone that’s either fought or trained too much. It’s like having animal instincts in a way, where they stop using their mind and only using their body…” I explain. “What did I say?”

“‘Defend’, ‘Protect’, and ‘Where’s my first aid?’.” John says, looking at his friends and seeing Anna groan and George still completely gone for right now.

“Well...that’s not good.” I say with a frown. “I hope someone can help you out...cause I’m gonna be moving on. I have a feeling someone here really hates me just for being a stick figure.” I say, not knowing why but sensing some extreme hate from here.

“I hope divine intervention exists…” John sighs out, Simon picking up George and Anna and heading off with John.

After a while of walking they finally got outside the anti magic barrier. “So, where are you going to take these two John?” I ask him curiously.

“I don’t know...we’re traitors to the queen, and everyone on this world hates us...George is probably never going to wake up and Anna’s hurt…” The lone, conscious changeling says sadly, just hoping for someone to help them out for once instead of shun them like monsters. “But...thank you for...caring Simon.”

“You’re welcome John.” I nod. “So...is that random thing that kicked me to a forest going to help out or no?” Simon asks, looking up at the sky for some help.

“I have a feeling he won’t.” John sighs out, the two continuing to walk for a while in the badlands.

“I’m gonna miss my Earth Sword...I worked hard on that thing.” I frown. “Had to get the right materials, had to find the right enchanter, everything! It cost me a fortune!” I complain, looking back and finally getting out of sight of the hive. “Let’s take a break.” I say while putting down the two changelings gently on the ground and stepping away from the two and sitting down as well.

“Yeah, it would be good to rest.” John agrees, sitting down and just relaxing after what happened. “Still can’t believe...a stick figure actually did all this…”

“Stick Figures can be assholes a lot of the time...but from what I’ve learned from this world is that my kind came here once upon a time, and good ones and bad ones came here...and only people remember the bad ones because they’re bad.” I sigh out. “Maybe one day I’ll be able to show them that I’m not like the person that hurt them all…”

“Chrysalis is stubborn, mean, and cruel...just be glad your not a living vegetable.” John shrugs.

“That...doesn’t sound good.” I frown. “By the way, where’s the closest town from here?”

“There isn’t a town for miles. It would probably take you a day or two to walk to one of the towns...but from your speed I’d say a day at least.” John says with a shrug, double checking his friends and finding that George was still out cold with a bite mark on his horn, thankfully still breathing while Anna was just resting after getting hit that hard.

After the rest and a bunch of talking the group decided to go their separate ways, John carrying his two friends on his back and moving carefully through the badlands as he wasn’t as physically fit as his friend George and Simon was just running across the badlands in hopes of finding some new place. “Hopefully we can get some help…” John mutters, trotting through the badlands and already out of sight from Simon.

“Why hello there… Let’s have a little chat.” A sinister voice spoke from nowhere as a three talons of a griffin pulled John, George, and Anna into a spatial rift. “We have plenty to discuss now.”

“Oh no…” He whimpers, scared of why he was suddenly pulled through a spatial rift by someone and the sinister voice just made him scared. “Don’t hurt us…”

The last thing he saw was yellow eyes will red pupils before blacking out from the fear.

To be continued...

Interlude V

“Well well well…what do we have here? A few poor unfortunate souls who bit off more than they could chew.” Discord rubbed his talons against his chest while the three changelings whimpered in front of him.

“Please...we didn’t do anything wrong we swear!” John says quickly.

“We were trying to help Simon…” Anna says, shaking her head as the last thing she remembered was getting hit by their former queen.

“My head still hurts…” George mutters, having a neurotoxin rush to his brain in almost an instant leaving one massively bad migraine still.

“Oh yes. Draining neurotoxin was a tricky problem. Took me two snaps of my talons to do that. Dreadful work I’m sure. I’m wasting away from that extensive use of my magic. Now…let’s talk business.” Discord sneered as he held his head down to their level.

“Can I ask if you know who managed to turn the entirety of the Badlands into how it is? Chrysalis said it was a Stick Figure...how are they so strong?” John asks, not believing that one being could turn a country into a barren wasteland.

“Ah…look at you the smart one, asking a smart question. Oh yes that stick figure was very dangerous and managed to nearly wipe out the entirety of the changeling race. I remember it as if it was yesterday...but then again I suppose that’s easier for some rather than others. All you need to know is that they are at my level of power with much worse control of their basic emotions. They know that dealing with others permanently is much more savory than what I do. Remember one thing dear little changeling. If you have to deal with either me or a stick figure choose to deal with me. At least you won’t be killed for the slightest offense.” Discord wistfully stroked his goatee as if recalling some of his more dangerous adventures.

“That’s….horrifying…” George mutters.

“But what about Simon? He was nothing like the monster you make them out to be.” John asks, finding that weird.

“And now we reach the crux of the matter. While he is not as bad the world at large for the immortal and long lived have only dealt with the worst of the worst. The bad always outweigh the good. My reign should be the biggest clue of how only the bad persists throughout history. Besides while he means well, he still causes collateral damage.” Discord peeled off a film from his eye of the destruction of the Whitetail Woods and the destruction of Sweet Apple Acres before he fixed them back to their original form.

“How in the world is he that strong!?” Anna asks, completely flabbergasted at how Simon and whoever else he fought in those cases caused so much destruction.
“Not important. Now somepony very important wants to meet with you. Be on your best behavior kiddies or uncle Discord will turn this cart around faster than you can say emotions.” Discord snickered as he ripped another spatial rift and dumped the changelings in front of Celestia and several dozen guards. The three changelings shook their heads at being so unceremoniously dumped somewhere...only to see the Princess and all the guards and shriek in horror as they all huddled close together in fear.

“W-we didn’t do anything we swear!” John repeats what he said to Discord in a very fearful manner.

“Please don’t kill us!” Anna pleads, knowing full well that anyone who would see them like this would just laugh and murder them without a thought and call it a ‘good day's work for helping the people’.

“Please, calm down you three.” Celestia says gently. “None of you are going to die.”

“How should we believe that? We’ve heard you putting out a warrent for all changelings to be killed on sight!” George shouts.

“What the…” Celestia mutters, finding the mere thought of murdering another being just horrifying. “I never put out that order. The changeling’s have suffered enough death for generations.” She says, shaking her head and already trying to figure out who would do such a thing.

“Wh-what do you mean?” Anna asks tentatively.

“You...know?” John adds questioningly.

“Yes, Discord must have informed you already...I still regret not being fast enough.” She shakes her head bitterly, ever thankful for Yoyo for stopping that monster Marco.

“You...fought them?”

“Yes, as well as my sister and Discord. We were the strongest people in Equestria who fought them, all other regions had their champions who were able to either match or deceive the worst of them.” Celestia explains.

“But...how did you all survive such strength?” John asks.

“We were much stronger in our younger years, but we had many friends and allies to help us fight against such beings.” Celestia explains. “I’m sure Chrysalis wasn’t there when Yoyo stopped Marco.”

“Who’s Yoyo?” George asks. “Isn’t that some foals toy?”

“Actually…” The solar princess trails off before magicking up a picture of the stick figure in question and showed it to the Changelings, showing a happy dark blue stick figure, mid action with his Yoyo as it glowed with blue energy. “Yoyo is a Stick Figure, and he was one of our many allies who made sure the more...dangerous beings were kept in check...but he was too slow to stop him…”

“Okay…” John nodded.

“Why did you want us?” Anna asks curiously.

“I understand that after the wedding things for your species went to hell and there was nothing you could do about it.” Celestia states, the changelings cringing at that horrid memory. “But right now you three are going to be the first changelings to learn the magic of friendship.” She says.

“...” The three changelings stare at the smiling diarch, feeling and tasting the obvious care she felt for them but only making them more confused. “Huh!?!” They all shout at the same time.

“I know it’s strange, but since you are all branded traitors by Chrysalis herself, I thought I would be the first one to lend a helping hoof to those in need.” Celestia states.

“But...why!?” John asks in shock.

“Take the deal...Psst...take the deal or I get to decide what to do with you.” Discord smirked as he looked John in the eye before disappearing once again.

“Deal!” The three all say quickly at the same time.

“See Celestia. I’m a wonderful negotiator. I am quite delightful.” Discord drank his glass of chocolate milk before tossing it out into the courtyard…to an unsuspecting Blueblood who was unconscious after the blast.

“Oh my god… Blueblood is down!” A random guard said.

“Form the parties men!” Another guard said.

“That Blueblood…” John mutters.

“He sounds like a dick.” Anna states bluntly, not sure why she had this unbelievable hatred towards someone she just heard the name of.

“He...sadly is.” Celestia sighs out, rubbing her temple.

“HEY LUNA! PARTY TIME OVER BLUEBLOOD’S MISERY!” Discord yelled out.

“HUZZAH!” Luna cheers happily.

“Here is your complementary lamp shade to wear on your head for this.” Discord handed her the lamp shade and poofed in one for himself which was red and very ornate.

“Uh…” The three changelings were very confused as Luna took her lamp shade happily.

“You see, given that literally no one likes Blueblood around here every time he is either knocked out or in pain, while I do find this a little sad, we party over his misery.”

“If you say no one likes him that’s fine with us.” John nods, himself and his friends already tasting the delicious emotions from everyone being happy.

“Oh that reminds me Celestia. That rift in Appleloosa opened up, new one popped up as well. Now if you excuse me a party is going on and it’s time to cut a rug.” Discord said as he snapped his talons taking almost everyone off for a party in the ballroom with strangely a pink pony hopping out of nowhere and into Discord’s arms.

“PARTY TIME!!” Pinkie screamed. The only ones left in the room were the Changelings, Celestia, and three of the more veteran guards.

“Uh…”

“Don’t…” Celestia sighs out. “I’ve tried figuring it out, came close, then just said ‘screw it’ and had to help a town from a Hydra.”

“Right then.” John nods. “So, are we going under assumed names?”

“Well all three of you already have names, but we need to go with forms.” Celestia says.

“I’ll take unicorn, I’m better with magic.” Anna says.

“I’ll be a pegasus, I’m the faster one here and my wings always cramp up if I don’t use them too often.” John says honestly.

“And because I’m physically the strongest I’ll be an earth pony.” George nods, even though Celestia couldn’t tell the fucking difference between the three besides Anna’s horn which seemed to be a tad more straight and less jagged, John’s wings which looked a little more ‘solid’ considering his insect like wings, and George has a slight reddish spots on his carapace.

“Alright.” Celestia nods. “Now, do you think you can make up new forms?” Celestia asks.

“Alright.” John nods before the three shifted into their pony forms. Anna had a magenta coat with dark pink mane and a cutie mark of dance shoes. John had a dark green coat with gray mane and a cutie mark of a bolt of lightning carved through a cloud. George had a deep orange coat with charcoal gray hair and the cutie mark of a mountain. “How do we look?”

“Hmm…” Celestia says, walking over to the three and checking the three carefully. “Marvelous Dancer,” She says to Anna. “Cloud Carver,” She nods to John. “And Steady Mountain. These are your new pony names from now. You can still have your names that Simon gave you, but when you're in public you will go by these names alright?”

“Yes ma’am.” The three say at the same time like they were addressing their queen.

Celestia giggled at that. “No need to call me ‘ma’am’ in such a way. Now, I’ll show you to your new rooms.”

“Wait, new rooms?” Anna the changeling asks curiously.

“Yes, you’ll be living here for the next four months while I teach you four the meaning of friendship.” The alicorn of the sun tells the changelings before leading them off, John and George turning around and seeing the most holiest of butts they will ever see.

“Wow…” John mutters.

“Woof…” George mutters.

“No! Bad ponies!” Anna shouts, smacking the back of her friends heads with a resounding smack.

“Ow! What was that for?” The two male changelings ask at the same time.

“Men.” Anna rolls her eyes, getting up and trotting after Celestia.

“Sheesh, what’s gotten her all mad?” John asks George.

“I have no idea.” George shakes his head as they both follow along with their fellow changeling and the solar princess.

”I can’t believe I’m thinking this...but please help those citizens Simon...I don’t know if that person is evil but please, don’t destroy the entire town…” She thinks to herself worriedly, knowing about the destruction he did but knowing the difference between unintentional collateral damage and actual honest destruction while she helped show the disguised changelings around the castle.

To be continued...

Stick goes to Appleloosa

“Sweet mother of god isn’t there anything around here!?!” I shout in dismay, not believing that after miles and miles of running I have yet to find anything remotely close to a city. “Come on, there’s magic and insect horses managed to make a home in a desolate wasteland, there has to be something here…” I complain, continuing to run through more and more nothing.

“Monster!” I heard someone scream as it was followed by the sound of hooves stomping against the ground. “Someone help!”

“What’s wrong?” I call out, rushing over and finding a...female buffalo having some native american symbols on her body.

“NOT ANOTHER ONE!” She screams in terror while turning swiftly around and running away as fast as she physically possible.

“Lady wait!” I shout while following the buffalo female, rushing after her quickly. As I followed the buffalo I saw a bunch of sand up in the air, which made me worry that something bad was happening. “Ah shit…” I frown, thinking that either someone was attacking the village or magic was going wrong.

Little did I know that both were correct. “Oh come on! Issat all you got you hicks!?” I heard someone shout.

“The fuck?” I mutter, rushing faster and skidded to a halt to see a...very bad scene. Buffalo’s were all dried out looking like mummies, but thankfully or worriedly no children seemed to be among the many dried out bodies. “Oh my god…” I mutter, finding this seen just horrifying.

“Howdy pardner. Don’t think that ah didn’t see ya over there. Gimme a few more minutes and we’ll have all the jerky we could evar have. Just gotta peel the meat off the bone.” The smile the brown stick figure gave made him look innocent as if he was just hunting down wild beasts.

“Are you fucking kidding me!?” I shout.

“Water~...” A male buffalo wheezes out weakly.

“Oops. Missed one. And what’s yah problem? I’m just getting some food ready after winding up in this weird horsey land. Maybe I should get horse tongue as well…that always has an interesting texture to eat.” With a wave of his hand sand starts to climb up on the buffalo while his other hand rubbed his chin as if pondering which pony he would capture.

I shoved my hand into my armory and pulled out a long sword that seemed to reflect the light like water. “Aqua jet!” I shout, a sudden jet of water shooting out and rushing towards the stick figure in hopes to make him stop attacking the innocent buffalo.

“Nuh uh huh. Not today pardner.” He raised his right hand grabbing the water and drying it out within milliseconds.

“Why are you trying to murder innocent people!” I shout, pulling out a katana from my armory and readying myself to fight this bastard.

“Innocent people? I see no people, all I reckon that I see are animals. Meat. Food. Go an’ give your hippie speeches somewhere else hombre. I don’t need another lecture from some tree hugging beatnik.” He turned towards another and moved more sand over another buffalo.

“Geyser!” I shout, stabbing my long sword into the ground and it pulsing, the ground rumbled before jet’s of water suddenly rammed into the controlled sand and stopping them from attacking the people. “We’re in a world we don’t know about, and if I have learned anything is that apparently animals like ponies, and apparently Buffalo now, are sentient here you racist cowboy wannabe!” I shout.

“Hmm…well sucks to be them then.” He placed his hand on the ground. “Wasteland Tremor.” The entire area outside of the village immediately turned to sand as whirlpools of sand began to try and absorb the buffalo.

“One sword water style…” I mutter, pulling out my long sword and readying it. “Water cyclone!” I shout, spinning for a moment and swinging it, a massive cyclone of water suddenly and absorbing all the dried out buffalo that were trying to be absorbed and swiftly rejuvenated them and transported them to the nearest possible location where it would be safe. “One sword style, Kuzuryusen (Nine Headed Dragon Flash)!” I shout, nine flashes of light were sent straight towards the bastard sand bender.

“Tch.” The bronze stick figure took the blows and was cut to ribbons. That revealed that he was only a sand double. From out in the nearby town screaming was heard. “Wasteland Cataclysm!” The whole town was immediately turned to sand and the screaming was starting to get quieter.

“One sword water style!” I shout while jumping into the air, raising my sword high. ”Don’t fail me now…” I think to myself. “GRAND FLOOD!” I shout, swinging my sword down and hitting the ground with my blade, the sound of a tidal wave suddenly roaring through the planes as it sped around me towards the town trying to stop the sand bender and help the civilians he was trying to murder.

“Sables.” The stick figure created a mini sandstorm in his hand before releasing it through the town tearing any still standing structures towards the tidal wave. When the two met half the water was dried out but the sandstorm was stopped. Frustrated, he got away through the vast desert he created from his hand.

I growled and dashed off towards the town, hoping to god the people I heard screaming we're okay. “Fuck that guy for right now, I need to make sure our fight didn’t kill anyone…” I mutter, bolting towards the town in hopes of finding okay people.

“Name’s Duster pardner. Don’t forget it.” The voice called as he appeared below me and grabbed at my chest. “Desert Prison.” The hand which drained water was right against my chest.

“Water Pulse!” I shout in desperation, my long sword so close to me and the hand a bubble of water formed and exploded, hitting the arm and me as I was sent skidding away and covered in water. “Ow…”

“Now ain’t ya just the slippery varmint I’d ever seen. Don’t worry, once ah beat your skull in I’ll make sure you get all the jerky you could want.” Duster grinned as he dried himself off quickly and more sand formed in his hand. “Sables: Burden!” A swirling mass of sand was sent towards me.

“Fuck!” I shout, running away as fast as I could. “Water pulse!” I shout, hopping into the air as my sword formed a bubble underneath me and blew up, sending me flying away from the mass of sand. “Nopenopenope!” I shout, continuing to run quickly.

“Guess ah have time to make that jerky then.” He tossed another at me and then one at whatever buffalo he saw in the area.

“NO!” I shout. “AQUA JET!” I shout, leaping into the air and holding my Longsword and Katana close to me as a wall of water surrounded me as I dashed towards the sandstorm that was aimed at the buffalo. ”No! No one’s going to die on me while I’m around!” I mentally shout, my missile like form swiftly darting through the air and intercepting the Sables that would have hit the buffalo. ”This is gonna hurt…” I think to myself. “One sword water style, Water dragon!” I shout, swinging my blade up as a dragon made of pure water roared and dashed towards the attack.

“Desert Spada!” A large blade of sand came from below speeding along like a torpedo causing a fissure to open beneath Simon and the Buffalo. “Sables: Burden!” Another condensed blast of sand came rushing out aimed for Simon.

“Oh come on!” I shout, pushing myself towards the buffalo and grabbing them quickly. “Aqua Jet!” I shout, surrounding the both of us in a cone of water and shooting off away from the attack. ”Shit, this is so not good!” I think to myself, flying up and trying to get out of this fucking trench. ”Rain...if I could do Rain dance…” I think to myself, trying to figure out what to do next.

“Ah another one.” Duster looked down on one buffalo that was closer to him. “Guess it’s my lucky day. Desert Prison.” He placed his right hand on the buffalo.

“Shit shit shit!” I shout, dashing towards the actual ground and dropping the buffalo in my arm on solid ground and dashing towards the man. “Hydro Pump!” I shout, skidding to a halt and swinging my sword, a powerful stream of water racing towards the man.

He picked up the buffalo and placed him against his body for the attack.

I quickly raised it out of the way of his shield and it hit the ground behind him. “Come on don’t be a coward!” I shout. “Stop using civilians in a fight!”

“They are mah food eventually. Why should I listen to some polecat hollering about animal control?” He grabbed the buffalo by the neck and slowly let his powers do the job. “You want this emergency food supply released then throw me your water sword right at my feet.”

“We’re in a different world than our own, are you that stupid to think that the sentient people here are still food?” I growl, ready to just bitch smack this asshole.

“I guess you are then.” He grabbed one of the buffalo’s leg and broke it.

“Stop!” I shout. “Fine…” I growl, tossing my long sword over to the guys feet. ”One sword style…” I think to myself, knowing full well this bastard won’t abide by his word.

“Sables: Burden.” The sword instantly snapped from the hit with the magic inside it dissipating. Then he tossed the buffalo off to the side. “ First ah’ll kill ya. Yah all’re getting in mah way too damn much. “Desert Spada!” A long blade of sand rushed off for me.

“One Thousand Worlds!” I shout, blitzing past the sand blade and slashing at the brown stick figure with the intent to knock his racist ass out.

“Desert Grand Spada.” A blade of condensed sand blocked the blade but the sand was knocked away from the impact. “Desert swamp!” A whirlpool of sand appeared below the two dragging them in.

“Iai!” I shout, swinging my sword swiftly and with massive amount of speed and force behind it towards the sand bender.

Duster allowed him to get dragged further into the sand to dodge the blow. “Not today hippie!” He then shot himself forward tackling Simon into the ground of the whirlpool. “You’re gonna drown!”

I swiftly kicked Duster in the balls and leapt out of the whirlpool that he basically tackled me out of. “Dragon Hammer!” I shout, swinging down into the whirlpool and a force of a dragon’s tail slamming down into it heavily.

A hand popped out of the ground grabbing my leg. It was covered in blood but it gripped tightly around my leg. “Desert Prison.” He wasted no time and allowed his powers to activate.

“Shit!” I shout, feeling myself turn into a prune. “Not...today asshole!” I shout, raising my katana and stabbing down into the sand where Duster had to be.

“Motherf-! My shoulder!” He quickly popped up away from where I was clutching a stabbed shoulder while blood flowed from his mouth. “No, I want this special meat. Now!” Before he could move again he started to float into the air.

“Looks like you're just dust in the wind.” I say with a grin, seeing my Katana fall out of the fading Duster. “Now…” I mutter, going into my armory and feeling a lack of a water longsword. “Oh...wait...that fucker broke it…” I mutter. “Damn it!” I shout angrily. I sigh out and summon a water dagger. “Good thing I always carry multiple weapons of the same enchantment.” I mutter while summoning up some water and downing it quickly, my leg starting to feel a whole lot better. After my heavy drink of water I put away my water dagger and my Katana, and grabbed both pieces of my broken longsword. “Thanks buddy, you served me well.” I nod to the blade. “I wonder if they have blacksmiths around here…” I mutter.

“H-hello?” Someone calls out, which makes me snap up worriedly.

“Hello?” I ask back, looking around and seeing a young buffalo girl walk up carefully and worriedly.

“Oh, hello. What’s your name?” I ask, getting down on my knee and wincing in pain. “Okay...that hurts.” I mutter.

“Are you alright?” She asks worriedly.

“Oh just a scraped knee, nothing special.” I say with a chuckle. “But what’s your name little one? I’m Simon.”

“I’m Little Stronghoof.” The buffalo girl nods, shuffling on her hooves nervously. “But...why did you help us? When we were back to normal we thought...you were going to help that monster?”

“I would never help someone like that, trust me.” I state. “But how is everyone? Where are the kids?” I ask, worried about them all.

“The children are in the apple trees off that way.” Little Stronghoof says, pointing a hoof towards the apple farm that I somehow completely missed. “And when you used your water magic we were all suddenly feeling better.” She says. “How...how did that happen?”

“His ability was to bend sand to his will, and given sand dries everything out...you could see how that could fit.” I shrug. “But I’m glad to hear you're all alright. I was scared he got the kids.”

“We immediately evacuated the children when things started to get worse.” The buffalo girl says.

“That’s good...is it alright if...I meet the rest of the people?” I ask nervously.

“They might still be traumatized by the whole event...so please, be gentle with them.” Stronghoof says.

“Frankly I wouldn’t expect them to like me anyways.” I shrug while getting up. “Oh, also, does this town have any metal workers?” I ask curiously.

“It...probably used to.” She says while showing the massive amount of sand there.

“Shit...well let’s meet the locals though.” I say, getting up. “Hopefully they like me.” I say while following Little Stronghoof and putting away my broken Longsword.

And let’s just say the reactions were...mixed to say the least. When the Buffalo saw me they were nervous and backpedaling away from me but given that Little Stronghoof was there leading me they seemed a little less scared of me but still wary. The ponies on the other hand looked at me with contempt for literally no reason, except a pony in a cowboy hat who was looking confused at the young buffalo girl.

“Ah reckon there’s a reason that there feller is following ya Stronghoof?” The pony in the ten gallon hat asked.

“He saved all our lives Braeburn.” Little Stronghoof said. “Do you know how many times that brown thing kept telling us he was going to turn us into ‘jerky’?” She asks.

“I’m sorry I destroyed a part of your town…” I say bitterly, feeling like crap about that part.

Braeburn sighed. “Ah know you’re all telling me the truth but I don’t know how long I can keep the other folks from following through on their anger. Appleloosan’s do know a thing or two about fighting and these folks are still feeling anger from the attack. I can get you some supplies but I think you need to get out of here before they follow through with mob mentalities. Still I’m happy as a hen who just hatched all their eggs that you protected Little Stronghoof. You can consider yourself an honorary Apple for that.”

“All in a day’s work for being a hero. Saving people from being turned into food and then being treated as a villain because fuck you that’s why.” I frown. “Fucking bullshit honestly…” I mutter bitterly.

“Ah’ll go and stall them. Also the reason is the collateral. Since a few ponies saw you control the water to go where you wanted it to go. Heat of battle and all I know that’s tough. Stay safe out there.” Braeburn mentioned as he trotted off to go keep the ponies busy.

“Why am I being blamed for the collateral when the bastard I beat turned this city into a small desert?” I complain. “Well see ya.” I say to Little Stronghoof before running east to wherever the fuck next.

“My, he takes things so personally doesn’t he my dear?” A very tired looking draconequus slowly slithered into view behind Stronghoof.

“Well...I suppose it’s because everyone blames him for destroying their homes and ignoring the fact they saved their lives. But the buffalo won’t forget.” Little Stronghoof says.

“Except for the unconscious one right?” Discord laughed as he snapped his fingers and turned the desert back to plains and the houses back to normal surprising and shocking every single being there.

“H-how?” She asks, surprised by the town being suddenly rebuilt.

“My dear…I’m an incomprehensible being of chaos who dashes the minds of the sane and insane constantly. Who the buck do you think I am?” He placed the lampshade back on his head and walked through a waffle. “Party time!”

“Uh…” Little Stronghoof mutters. “I’m strong...but I’m not strong enough for this…” She shakes her head, not believing what Discord just did, even though she shouldn’t be surprised by the randomness.

“That’s one rift then…” Discord muttered to himself as he returned back to Celestia. The party was over long long ago. This was far more entertaining.

To be continued...

Interlude VI

Author's Note

This chapter explains some things...and is very random...you have been warned.

Interlude VI

“Sweet me…” Celestia mutters, shaking her head gently as Simon was forced to flee all because he was blamable for Appleloosa’s destruction.

A large conga line with Discord at the front followed by Luna, the changelings, several of the day guards, Shining Armor, and Cadence were traipsing through the throne room before Discord teleported them away as he removed his lampshade and solemnly held his paw over his heart.
“A tragedy indeed.” He murmured as he watched through the mirror.

“Just because he’s there he has too immediately be blamed…” She frowns. “Do they not know that he literally saved all their lives?”

“Probably not. I saw so many ponies hiding the moment that the waves of water started flooding their hiding spots. I’m surprised that they didn’t learn to swim since living on the plains with no discernible source of water would obviously give them the ability to swim.” Discord snarked out as he ate some jalapeno poppers that seemed to be made out of taffy and tree bark.

“They almost died Discord, this isn’t a joking matter.” She glares at the chaos spirit. “At least the Bison understand that he saved them.” Celestia mutters.

“Mm-hm. Yup such is the power of harmony. Seriously though the destruction of the landscape, while child’s play for me, is starting to become monotonous. I can’t constantly watch out for every being in this world especially if I have to deal with stick figures as well. There is too much to watch and deal with and also keep the other rifts sealed until he gets close.” Discord growled out looking particularly annoyed.

“Yes Discord…” She sighs out. “I’m just glad the destruction has only been kept to a minimum so far…” She says. “As well as no living casualties in the fights.”

“Well except for every plant that was torn asunder and the apple trees which for some reason Granny Smith keeps wrapping blankets around and reading them bedtime stories to quell their nightmares.” Discord amusedly cleaned his talons against his dragon leg.

“I mean...the Apples take their job seriously considering it’s their livelihood...and I suppose she’s just paranoid about that…situation happening again.” Celestia says nervously, finding that level of love to their work a tad weird.

“Let’s not even forget that the trees are even having nightmares as well of being violated because of that woman stick figure and how some of them even liked it which is just weirder than all this and Luna had been sick to the moon and back because of them.” Discord poofed in Luna who was busy devouring a chip and salsa plate. She looked around then at Celestia then slowly ate another chip.

“That’s...weird…” Celestia mutters, taking a chip and some salsa in her magic and eating it. “So, where is he running off to now?”

“Los Pegasus.You know what they say about that place Cele,” Discord gripped Celestia and Luna in his arms and held them in front of a mirror as they were gussied up in very exotic dresses and suits which seemed to leave very little to the imagination, “ What happens in Los Pegasus, stays in Los Pegasus.”

Luna saw the clothes and raised an eyebrow at it. “Well...not sure if this works for me…”

“Oh sweet me Discord…” Celestia face hooves, hiding her flushed cheeks well.

“What? It’s Los Pegasus. No one else will ever know.” Discord guffawed as he reeled around from the look on Celestia’s face.

“If they were blind.” Celestia frowns.

“Well...they would be when most of the ponies there are so fixated on games…” Luna points out. “But you have a point...we would still be noticed for who we are...maybe disguise magic?” Luna wonders.

“What were you actually going to go? Well… I could be persuaded for another scale Luna…” Discord slyly smiled.

“No no Discord. I was just thinking was all.” Luna tells the spirit.

“Put away the mirror Discord.” Celestia says. “But I wonder if Simon will think Los Pegasus is nice...and if the ponies won’t try to immediately run him out of town.”

“Oh I kept news out of Los Pegasus. He’ll have a chance. Hope he can make a good impression.” Discord twiddled his fingers.

“It’s Los Pegasus…” Luna says worriedly.

“Well he doesn’t have any money and he wouldn’t bet away his weapons…” Celestia points out, having learned he takes great pride and care for his weapons.

“Ah pride. The first thing mortals bet away when they think they could win.” Discord chuckled out loud.

“I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t bet away his weapons.” Luna says.

“Who said I was talking about weapons? What did that one noble bet against you Celestia when he wanted to prove Zebras were horrible? Was it that he would go hopping around on one foot detailing how much he loved working with Zebras?” Discord smirked as he pulled up a picture of the pony in question.

“That was funny.” Luna nods.

“It was.” Celestia agrees. “And at least he learned something from that.”

“Oh that reminds me. Purple Smart and her band of merry mares wanted to ask you some questions about the Stick Figures and what happened recently. Apparently Pearjack wanted to know what happened to her cousin Fuji Apple.” Discord purposely got the names wrong.

“It would be good to tell Applejack that her family is fine...but I don’t know if I should explain it to them.” The solar princess says, honestly scared of what they’ll do if they know of that past.

“Hm… sorry I warped them to the castle before you could finish that thought. Then I had to clean out the cotton candy that was in my ears. You know how that goes.” Discord jumps to the ceiling as six bewildered mares were suddenly in the throne room looking positively flustered. “If you don’t I’ll be forced to show them the salsa picture. You know the one. The one you wanted no one to ever see.”

“No!” Celestia shouts at Discord, glaring daggers at him.

“I feel my talons slipping~” Discord sang out.

“Uh...princess?” Twilight asks worriedly.

“Alright, alright I’ll tell them.” Celestia frowns. “Okay...so what’s your first question?”

“Is mah cousin okay?” Applejack asks quickly.

“Yes Applejack, he is safe as well as the rest of Appleloosa and the Buffalo.” Celestia nods.

Discord pulled out a picture of Braeburn and Little Strongheart getting real close to each other and handed it to Applejack. “I bet you thought it was the salsa picture Celestia.”

Celestia glared at him. “Princess, what were those things?” Twilight asks her. “Those Stick Figures?”

“Well…” Celestia starts, thinking through it before just sighing out and shaking her head. “Where to start…” She mutters. “It all started five thousand years ago when they started appearing.” She says to the six. “It all started with a Stick Figure that went by ‘Xiao Xiao’, the very first and possibly strongest stick figure to ever appear in Equestria.” She explains.

“Five thousand!?” Twilight shouts, her eyes widening at how long ago this was.

“Yes Twilight. Anyways,” Celestia says, going back to the story. “Back then when we were...what? Eighteen years of age?” She asks Luna and Discord.

“Equivalent of an Eighteen year old. I’m ageless my dear.” Discord cracked his claw showcasing a younger draconequus with a black mustache which both screamed suave and stupid at the same time.

“That looks stupid.” Twilight points out.

“But it does work for him in a suave manner darling.” Rarity adds.

“Yes yes. Anyways we were only teens when our mother Faust, as well as Discords mother Entropy met Xiao Xiao. At the time he didn’t say much but was accepting of our mothers hospitality in a strange new world and agreed to help him get back to his world. But when a group of Assassins tried to attack the stick figure on the basis of ‘he’s an abomination’...” She trails off.

“Xiao Xiao kicked all their asses without even trying.” Luna states. “And there were at least 10 of the best assassins in the ‘Shadow Under Hoof’ clan.” She explains.

“But...one master could beat a full grown dragon with no issue!” Twilight explains, not believing such a thing.

“Don’t forget about the explosions and the death defying stunts that made every Rainbow Dash do look like a walk through town.” Discord slyly brought up waiting for the outburst.

“HEY!” Rainbow dash shouted.

Discord quietly put a tally mark on a whiteboard which read, ‘Number of time Rainbow Dash was offended.’ and the tally marks were well over a thousand.

“You’ve been keeping track?” Applejack asks. “Seems...weird but understandable I suppose.”

“Hey!” Rainbow pouts. “Stop picking on me.”

“If I can please get back on topic.” Celestia says sternly. “But yes, there were many explosions, and death defying stunts...and all Xiao Xiao had was his skills in hand to hand combat and a wooden staff to beat the ten of them.” The solar diarch explains.

“How strong was he?” Twilight asks.

“I’m afraid that either his true strength was displayed and I don’t remember it, or he never had to use such strength because he was basically as physically strong as our mother.” Celestia says.

“My mother never cared and merely sipped some wine till things changed… just never get on her bad side mare.” He held Twilight close staring her in the eye while fear filled his face. “NEVER.” He harshly intoned before going back to his jovial mood leaving a dazed Twilight to get back on her hooves.

“I didn’t even know you three even had mothers.” Twilight states.

“Yes...this is a whole bunch of new for all of us.” Rarity says.

“Don’t forget learning that this reality is only one of many and that no matter how high we reach as a threat we’re barely a number four on the list while every other reality is a seven or higher so far.” Discord casually waved his arm around as he said that.

“Uh…” Twilight mutters, not understanding what things Discord was talking about.

“May I please continue?” Celestia asks, wanting to continue the story here. When silence stayed for at least a minute she nodded. “Okay. So a year passed and both Entropy and mother found a way to send him home. He was a genuine friend to all of us and when he was sent home he would be missed...until two months later.” Celestia sighs out.

“Another stick figure appeared through a portal the same way Xiao Xiao appeared.” Luna continued. “We don’t remember his name because he kind of...pissed off Entropy.” She says worriedly.

“How?” Twilight asks.

“He said that change was overrated and that anything that was changed was just moved slightly to the left. She was so pissed she nearly changed his bone structure to jelly and that was only the first twelve seconds.” Discord chuckled.

Twilight looked at him. “Um...what? I feel like I’m missing something here…’moved slightly to the left’...what?” She asks, not sure about that part specifically.

“He was implying that everything only changed by moving to the left…he wasn’t that bright. Then came the screaming of his mother while things were stabbed into him in various places. And don’t even get me started on the plunger.” Discord cringed.

“Ew!” All the girls said in unison, not knowing the implications but finding it rather gross of what they immediately thought.

“Then let’s not forget what happened after he insulted Faust and then she joined in on it. Needless to say that’s why Equestria uses matchboxes to hold things now.” Discord finished.

“Oh…” Twilight frowns.

“He died.” Luna says from all that.

“Surprisingly no…but let’s not split hares about how horrifying it is.” Discord chuckles out. “Remember ladies, it’s chaos, not death.”

“So after we completely ignored our parents for at least two months after that…time,” She says through clenched teeth and how horrifying it was.

“Remembered his name. Rupert. He had quite the mouth on him. Remember Celestia when he said that thing about the saddle.” Discord quipped.

“That’s probably why Luna thought he died cause I...kind of broke his spine.” Celestia says. “But back on track, after Rupert was thankfully kicked through a portal back to his world another showed up not a month later, this time with a thankfully not bad stick figure...and then this would be the trend for a while until things..went haywire.” The solar princess says nervously.

“You see, Entropy felt a massive change in the barrier between our world and the Stick Figure world. Apparently the portals that our parents used to send them back had some adverse effect that started making Stick Figures appear more often, and in random places. Thankfully it was at least kept in Equestria for at least...maybe five hundred years? A thousand?” Luna asks.

“Either way, as more stick figures appeared and disappeared fights started to break out between them. Either because they wanted to test their strength, they had personal issues with each other, or just because they wanted to. And sadly both our mothers and the three of us were dragged in just to help keep the innocent people protected.” Celestia explains.

“At the thousandth year of fighting our mother sort of...vanished.” Luna says. “She was in the middle of fighting a powerful Stick Figure but then a portal opened up and pulled them both in…” Luna sighs out. “We don’t know if she’s back here or if something bad happened to her…”

“Oh…” Twilight mutters.

“Ah reminds me… Mother says hi.” Discord handed a letter from Entropy to Celestia.

“Oh, good to hear she said hi.” Celestia nods and carefully opens it, knowing if it’s a letter from Entropy then it must have some silly confetti trap in it. After a surprisingly normal letter opening she started reading it.

I’m still alive Entropy, please tell the girls to walk the dog and not forget to feed him.

From your best friend,
Faust.

Celestia’s magic dissipated as her face became even whiter than her fur, the letter gently floating to the ground before Luna caught it. “W-wha…?”

“It couldn’t have been that bad could it?” Luna asks, carefully reading the letter...and then re-reading it...then re-re-reading it...only for the same reaction to happen to Luna. “B-b-but….” She mutters in shock, tears falling down her cheeks.

“What’s wrong?” Twilight asks worriedly.

“M-m-mothers...alive…” Celestia mutters.

“Knew I forgot something. Oh well what are you going to do.” Discord shrugged as he drank some chocolate milk cotton candy clouds.

Discord was suddenly grabbed and yanked in front of Luna’s furious gaze. “You knew our mother was alive this entire time and all you can say is YOU BUCKING FORGOT!?!” Luna roars at the draconequus.

Discord quietly pushed Luna’s horn into her head making it disappear as he brushed himself off. “Unfortunately for you being in stone makes it hard to remember events especially when you have to make your own entertainment for those centuries otherwise the first moment I get out I would have torn reality asunder and tossed everything into a black hole, MY DEAR…” Discord growled out lowly as the entire room shuddered for a second turning into a room of pure unimaginable horror before changing back to normal. He then returned Luna’s horn and went back to his smiling self.

Luna growled only for Celestia’s to put a gentle hoof on her shoulder. “It’s alright Luna…” The solar sister says gently.

“Fine…” Luna mutters. “So...how-” Luna starts before looking over at the mane six...who were on their sides completely passed out from the horror show that happened for a split second. “Oh...well...I suppose I’ll have to watch over their dreams for a while…”

“Give me a second.” Discord snapped his talon and everypony immediately woke up and looked around. Fluttershy took a bit more coaxing.

“What….was that!?” Twilight shouts in fear.

“It’s what happens when I take you seriously.” Discord calmly stated looking Twilight in the eye implying he never took them that seriously.

“It’s...sadly true.” Celestia sighs out.

“WHAT!?!” Twilight shrieks.

“You're kiddin me…” Applejack mutters.

“Oh come on!” Rainbow shouts.

“Oh dear…” Rarity mutters.

Fluttershy whimpered sadly, feeling like if he took them at least a little seriously she would have never made a good friend...or be six feet under.

“Heh heh heh…” Pinkie chuckled stiltedly.

“Anyways, after we...thankfully heard our mothers alive...shall we continue the story?” Celestia asks.

“Yes please.” Twilight nods.

“Thank you.” Celestia nods. “So after our mother ended up in the Stick Figure world and Entropy went off to do her thing me, Luna and Discord were the champions of Equestria for three thousand years. But sadly after they left the portals started appearing throughout the world and thankfully heroes rose up to stand up to the bad ones.” Celestia explains.

“Sadly the casualties were extensive throughout history…” Luna says sadly. “The changelings were actually kind people and not as...hollow and broken as they looked when they appeared during the wedding…”

“What do you mean Princess?” Twilight asks.

“There were twelve hives. Now there is one. I’ll miss Queen Dartwing. She was always a keeper.” Discord sighed aloud. “Pissed off Celestia like a champ.”

“Also, that entire near extinction event made the Badlands what they are today.” Luna points out bitterly.

“Wait…” Twilight mutters.

“One.” Celestia says, causing the entire group to look at Celestia. “One stick figure murdered eleven hives and burned the entirety of the area into what you know today as the Badlands.” She shakes her head. “Thankfully a friend stopped him...but the damage was already done…”

“Truly Elysium was quite beautiful. That’s what it was called. Then let’s not forget what I had to face…truly a dark time when I am forced to give up some chaos just to survive.” Discord mused as he played with a yoyo which for some reason looked like a stick figure that was scrunched up.

“Rodriguez…” Celestia growls. “That day...was horrible...”

“And that kind of segwayed into him being sealed away for fifteen hundred years.” Luna says.

“We were hoping it would last forever at the time...but given we weren’t attuned with the elements anymore...I think this is honestly better in the long run I suppose.” She says, honestly glad to have an old friend back.

“I am delightful.” Discord smiled out smugly.

“We...normally have nice tea parties.” Fluttershy finally speaks in a happy tone, liking their tea parties and talks.

“Ah yes. Those are quite interesting. Still I should at least put Rodriguez to rest some time soon shouldn’t I?” Discord kept playing with the yoyo.

Celestia and Luna looked at each other. “Honestly he ruined our friendship all those years ago...that’s up to you.” Luna says to the spirit.

“What do you mean princess?” Twilight asks, being the nosy knowledge seeker she is.

“We...don’t want to talk about it…” Celestia says bitterly.

“They never knew what hit them…then I made him into a yoyo. He’s not breathing anymore mind you.” Discord kept playing with the yoyo allowing Twilight to actually see it close up.

Twilight looked at it with a careful and analytical eye over the yoyo. “Huh...this is...actually a stick figure…” She says, able to tell that there were arms, legs, and other such things she was manage to notice about Simon before he bolted.

“Well...that’s a thing…” Applejack frowns.

“But now here’s a curious thing that...honestly still baffles me today.” Celestia starts again. “When I had to...seal away Luna in the moon, all the portals stopped appearing.” Celestia says.

“None?” Twilight asks.

“Yes, for one thousand straight years nothing about Stick Figures were ever brought up by anyone.” The solar diarch says. “But during the thousand years I made sure, with the other world leaders, that the stick figures would be nothing more than a silly story that only mad beings would believe.” Celestia says, not using ponies here for she spoke of all living beings.

Discord silently stared at Twilight with several neon signs that said mad pony to the other mane six. Then showed a picture of Smarty Pants and the Want it-Need it spell. He whistled innocently.

Twilight glared at Discord. “I may be mad, but I’m not as mad as Pinkie who immediately thought a book that said ‘Stick Figures are real’ was irrefutable proof that they existed.” Twilight frowned.

“Which she was right.” Discord sang out mockingly.

“They exist means literally jack all to the greater scheme of things!” Twilight barks. “I could say that there’s a random abomination at the bottom of the ocean singing ‘I feel pretty’ to itself and no one would believe me!” Twilight shouts.

“Ah you met cousin Cthulhu then.” Discord looks at the purple pony.

“I WAS BEING HYPOTHETICAL!” She screams in rage.

“Who said I was?” Discord quirked an eyebrow at Twilight.

Twilight started grinding her teeth together. “There is no abomination at the bottom of the ocean. I have literally checked because of the many books I read about the ocean.”

Discord snapped his talon showing a portal to the bottom of the sea where a giant abomination sat singing ‘I feel pretty’ in strange tongues. When it saw the ponies it waved and gave Celestia the recipe it thought up for Devil’s Food Cake which landed in front of Twilight.

“Thank’s Cthulhu.” Celestia nods with a smile, magicking over the recipe to her and Luna.

“WHAT THE BUCK IS THAT!?!” Twilight shrieks in horror, honestly horrified to see such an abomination and her mind screeching in pain at the sudden dialect that none of the mane six could understand.

“Ah poor Sparkle can’t understand that she knows literally nothing and is arguing with immortal beings that basically wrote every single piece of knowledge she thinks she knows.” Discord picked her up making sure to cancel her magic as he patted her head comfortingly.

“Not everything.” Celestia raises a hoof. “Star Swirl was quite the genius for being a mortal...so close to figuring it out.”

“Close merely counts in horseshoes and explosions.” Discord chuckled.

“True true.” Celestia shrugs with a little chuckle.

“But...but...but…” Twilight mutters, starting to mutter a bunch of nonsense about how life wasn’t fair and how bullshit it was that she barely knows fuck all about anything even after at least three near death experiences.

“You sure it’s this one Celestia?” Discord mumbles which Twilight couldn’t hear over her existential crisis.

“You try being told that everything you know isn’t even a drop in the massive ocean of life and not have an existential crisis.” She whispers back. “Also, try being a mortal and have this info dump rammed at you.”

“The last pony you chose at least could roll with the punches. And the rest of them are accepting of this.” Discord mumbled before motioning over to the other ponies who seemed far more accepting.

“This is beyond bucking weird.” Rainbow frowns.

“Twilight’s a scholar, and being told literally everything she thought was impossible in many ways has been done and is literally possible can...do quite something to you…” Rarity explains.

“I’m a farmer...and my head still hurts from that...whatever it was.” Applejack mutters.

Fluttershy was...well Fluttershy and she passed out at both seeing the eldritch abomination and the words it spoke.

“Oh darn. I couldn’t throw him a party.” Pinkie giggled.

“Everything I’ve learned…” Twilight mutters. “Means nothing here?” She asks, not caring about being in Discords hold and just wanting to know if at least something in her life actually means something now.

“Twilight.” Celestia says while magicking over the poor unicorn and wrapping her in a hug. “Everything you’ve learned doesn’t mean nothing. The world is a bigger place then you know...I know it’s hard to understand, but believe me...I was kind of in your situation at some points as well.” She says sheepishly. “Especially when I had to have one of Cthulhu's rather…’weird’ delicacies.” She says slowly, remembering how horrifying it was to actually watched the process and ate the ashes of damned and how it tasted like peaches somehow.

“I’ll take you on a trip around the universe later. Then you’ll know the true truth.” Discord says while he brushes off his shoulder.

“Can...I at least get my bearings knowing that H.P. Hoofcraft was correct in his otherwise weird and rather...creepy ramblings about them?” She asks.

“Oh yeah I forgot I made him go insane even as stone. Ah the troubles of a horrible memory.” Discord sullenly mused.

“Oh wait.” Rainbow start’s. “I think Twilight’s just having a break down because of she perceived fiction. I’d say...it would be pretty horrifying thinking that everything that is supposed to be ‘made up’ is actually all real in some way shape or form…” Rainbow says before getting a concentrated look. “Wait a second…” Rainbow mutters before her eyes go wide. “A.K. Yearling is Daring Do!?” Rainbow dash yelps

“Not even close.” Discord mumbled crossing his fingers in hope that his book deal wouldn’t fall through.

“I’m pretty sure you need to calm down Rainbow.” Applejack says. “While that...thing maybe real, that’s a magical being. I doubt Daring Do would be real when you think about it.” The farmer says, trying to keep the pegasus mare down to earth.

“Aw~.” Rainbow whines. “Fine…”

“Anyways perhaps we should look in on our intrepid hero and bask in his… adventures.” Discord groaned as he created another viewing portal. Simon was just outside of Los Pegasus.

“Why is Las Vegas here!?!” They all hear Simon shout incredulously.

To be continued...

Interlude VII

“Well…” Celestia started. “Glad he didn't die.” The sun Alicorn sighed out, remembering some news that ponies died from eating something too spicy for them. “Wonder where he will go next?” She muttered to herself.

“Your majesty!” A unicorn guard called out while rushing into the throne room, holding a scroll in his magic as he stopped and saluted. “Your majesty, I have an urgent report about the Frozen North.” He said, Celestia taking the scroll and unfurling it.

Celestia read the message, her face remaining the same calm mask as she always had on in front of her little ponies, but inside she was quite shocked at the message. “Thank you.” She nodded.

“Ooh was it something important. All your ponies are waiting.” Discord called out pointing out the mane six and Luna playing a board game.

“Well…” Celestia sighed out and rolled up the message. “Apparently there are signs that Sombra is coming back.” Celestia says, Twilight's head whipping around to look at Celestia.

“What!? B-but how? I thought the Crystal Heart destroyed him?” Twilight asked, completely shocked to hear Sombra is back.

“Did you get his horn?” Discord pointed out.

“Horn?” Twilight asked curious, not knowing what Discord meant.

“Sombra is an ancient demonic being known as an Umbrum. A creature of shadow and darkness that can exist even in a shadow form. Since the Crystal Heart was such a danger to him he put a spell on his body that any part of him can be used to bring him back to life. I’ve sensed the magic but I could never pinpoint it before. I was certain that Twilight would have made positively sure to make certain that all the crystal shards that came from Sombra’s body were accounted for.” Discord summarized as he lazily fell back into cotton candy and shifted it into a hammock.

“I made sure but…” Twilight trails off.

“Oh is that what I barely saw fly off when the Crystal Heart did it's thing?” Rainbow Dash asked, her being a Pegasus giving her naturally good eyesight.

“You mean you saw it?” Twilight asked her rainbow friend.

“I mean...kinda? I wasn't sure cause of the giant wave of magic, and it flew off so fast I couldn't tell if it was a crystal or a horn.” The cyan mare explained simply.

“Ah looks like another portal is opening in the Frozen North. Oops looks like a doozy.” Discord chuckled.

“Oh no…” Celestia muttered. “That's not good...I should tell Cadence.” She said worriedly, magicking up a piece of paper and a pen and writing down a warning to Cadence and Shining about the portal, rolling it up and sending it off to the two in the Crystal Empire. “First Sombra and now another portal up there?”

“Technically there are three portals up there. One opening in Yakyakistan and another over near Griffonstone. Looks pretty bad since they’ve actually started to tear apart the very foundation of reality.” Discord nonchalantly blew against his talons.

Celestia sighed out. “So much to prepare for...and so little time.” She shook her head. “Maybe when Simon is out and feeling better we should make him move towards the Frozen North…”

“Oh I already have that planned out.” Discord snapped his talons and opened the mirror. Simon was dropped into a portal leading towards the Frozen North about three clicks from the portal.

“Ho, fuck it's cold!” They all heard Simon shout.

“Well… good enough.” Celestia sighed out.

“I love it when a plan comes together. Pinkie prepare my bowler hat and the chimpanzees!” Discord shouted.

“Of course! Shaved or malted?” Pinkie answered getting out a large bag from her mane.

“Surprise me!” Discord giggled as the two went further into their madness.

“Oh dear…” Twilight muttered, really worried about those two.

“Please Twilight. We bring all the comedy gold to the table. Too much dour looks painting your face and the viewers will think you resemble the scream painting.” Discord chuckled as he picked Twilight up and summoned the painting in question. “Perfect match at this point.”

Twilight facehoofed. “Ri~ght…” She mutters.

Celestia looked at the mirror, seeing Simon travel the Frozen North with a flame sword at his side to keep him warm. ”Please...save our people Simon...” She thinks to herself worriedly.

Discord started to shake violently. “Oof… that was bad. Seems this next one's gonna be even worse than I thought. Lots of malice and hatred coming through that one.”

“Can't we have any friendly ones appear where we can just be friends with?” Luna complained. “I'd like another drinking buddy again.” The lunar princess muttered, remembering Jomm being her best drinking buddy.

“Only Simon will be any good. As far as I can tell right now there is only malice in all of these portals. It’s like they are seeing this place as a playground.” Discord muttered under his breath.

“But...what could be causing this sudden event?” Twilight asked.

“I don't know Twilight...it could just be another natural event as our world's connect for a time...but I fear if someone is managing to create these portals…” Celestia shuddered, not wanting to think of what that could lead to. “Lets just...have faith in Simon and the champions of each country…” She says, wishing she could go out and fight as well but time hasn't been kind to those who lived through the first event.

“Portal’s opening in three… two… one…” Discord counted down.

“Oh so that’s how these fuckers are appearing!” The group heard Simon say, the blue Stick Figure seeing the portal open.

“Well...at least he’s there to stop them…” Celestia sighed out.

“He’ll have to run for a bit. Oh well I can’t do everything. Pinkie have you acquired the coconuts!” Discord shouted out.

“Yuperoonie. Got big ones, small ones, and some as big as your head. Ready!” Pinkie shouted as the two disappeared in the snap of his talons.

“Sometimes they worry me.” Twilight shook her head.

“Best not to question it.” Applejack shrugged.

“Just be glad you haven't had to deal with this in the middle of a war.” Celestia muttered to herself, remembering how many times she's almost smacked Discord for his shenanigans back then.

“Saved your life more than once!” Discord shouted from the void as a cream pie materialized and slammed into Celestia’s face. It was banana cream.

Celestia licked some of the pie off her lips before cleaning herself up with her magic.

To be continued...

Stick goes to the Frozen North

“Ugh, the hell happened?” I grumbled while waking up finally after all the dental work I needed.

“Oh you know. The usual. You fucked up your stomach and went into a two year coma. The guards sent you to Tartarus where you got to know your cellmate Bubba and the rest is history.” Discord muttered as he looked over the obituaries. “Also congratulations on your marriage to Peg the bread roller. She’s a keeper.”

I looked at the strange creature, never having actually met this guy. “Alright so...I’d like to actually wake up now.” I started.

“Oh that’s actually up to you. See you passed out from the cold and are about to die… in five more minutes. So yeah. Good luck with that.” Discord chuckled as he ripped a portal through space and time inside my head before zipping into it and leaving me alone.

“Guh..talk about a headrush…” I grumbled. “Also fuck it’s cold!” I yelped, barely able to feel my own body at this point. “Uh...fire!” I panicked while pulling out one of my fire weapons, a fire greatsword, and activated it as fire sprung from it, starting to heat myself up from almost dying of hypothermia. “A-a-alright...so…” I muttered while trying to take stock of where I was, which appeared to be in the middle of bum fuck nowhere on ice. “W-w-well...might as well...start somew-w-where…” I muttered while starting my way through the frozen wasteland to find some form of shelter, either by a town that managed to withstand this crap or a natural cave to get out of the wind.

Off in the distance was a shining red light sticking out of the snow… pointing out of the desolate wasteland that laid before me. I couldn’t tell the size of it but it was something I could trudge to while everything below the belt froze in the newly formed slush.

“W-well...that doesn’t look f-f-forbod-ding.” I stuttered from the cold as I walked towards the red light, my instincts already kicking in to tell me something evil was coming from the glow.

It just sat there. Menacingly!! Truly an entity of evil’s incarnate and drenched in the blood of the innocent. No one could escape the horror of… the Horn in the Snow. The small note that held those words blew through the wind but had enough sense to go in front of my eyes.

“Alright…” I muttered while moving over to the horn. “No...is this a severed horn, or is it still stuck to a person?” I wondered, kneeling down and grabbing the horn.

On contact the horn drained as much mana as it could from me forcing me to throw it away from the sudden jolt.

“Bitch!” I snapped. “Alright, demonic horn, good to know.” I said while using what mana I still had left to pull out a Holy Lance.

The horn sunk into the snow as the entire area started to shake. The earth quaked and snow whipped into a frenzy as the storm blew in. Lightning crack down from the sky leaving nothing but the darkness surrounding me. Then it started. A deep bellowing laugh that echoed throughout the land. The snow whipped into shape creating several ice shaped walls lined in crystalline spikes as lighting arced down charging them. The horn rose from the darkness as a body of flesh slowly grew down from the horn. Muscle formed as the eyes rose back from the depths of the newly formed skull. A full mane bloomed from the back waving through the wind wildly.

“After one hundred days I once again walk the lands of Equus. Gentlemen! I have returned!” Sombra bellowed to the skies in sheer elation.

“Excuse me, do you know where the hell I am?” I asked the obviously evil horse.

“IN YOUR DOOM!” Sombra cried out as he lit his horn hitting the side walls of the pen he made. The spikes began shooting out dark crystal spikes at the speed of a submachine gun. Over thirty rounds per seconds each of the two hundred and forty spikes that grew from the walls. Each channeling the powers of a storm in there ever growing number.-

“Sanctum!” I shouted in panic as I slammed my lance into the ground and a sphere of light surrounded me and blocked all the darts. “Who the hell are you if I may ask, and why did you suddenly attack me?”

“I just told you. YOUR DOOM! What else is there to get from that? Tina was much smarter than your boring blue ass palette.” Sombra scoffed as he shot his magic back into the spikes making the darts fire faster. “Also it’s good she told me how to overload holy shields with lightning spells.”

”Cause of course she did…” I thought to myself. “Alright then Dr. Doom, let’s see how you handle this.” I said while using my lance as a pole vault and jumping over the spikes that punched through the shield. “Gungnir!” I shouted as I lifted my empty hand as a spear of light appeared in it as I chucked it hard towards Sombra.

The body dissipated into shadows. With a quick pulse Sombra reformed before me and with a solid flying axe kick knocked me back down into the pen.

“You shall bow to Doom!” Sombra exclaimed… as if he knew the reference.

“Ow...also, did you get that reference or are you just playing along?” I asked while getting up quickly. “Also, you’ve met another Stick Figure before?”

“Reference? What reference? Unfortunately I have to meet yet another one dimensional character such as yourself. I mean look at you. I lay you down and it’s like you’re on paper. Disgraceful when one meets a king such as I. At least Tina had some sense behind her. She could even make her svelte form presentable.” Sombra completely ignored the question.

“Alright, just ignore my question…” I muttered. “Also, you’re a king?” I asked while looking around. “Of what? Nothing?”

Sombra lit his horn and increased the ice and snow. Without missing a beat the shadows used the ice and snow as gloves increasing their freezing prowess with shadows as all heat and light were stolen from the area.

“Just as you are nothing in this realm. A dime a dozen of the constant shadows running without purpose, continually floundering around killing one another because there is no other way. I would cry tears for you if only you weren’t so pathetic looking.” Sombra sneered… “But let me show you what I mean.”

Sombra’s eyes glowed a sickly green and with a very brave charge grabbed me by the face and stared deep into my soul.

As I sadly fell into his spell...all I saw around me was a misty swamp, enough light to at least see parts of the swamp but not enough to show the hidden creatures in it. “H-hello?” I asked nervously, trying to draw one of my weapons but only finding...a broken sword with purple ooze on it. “Oh...oh no…” I muttered in panic as I dropped the sword as the slime moved and started to smile up at me creepily.

“Time to feed.” The small slime thing chirped, the same phrase being repeated over and over by hundreds of them as purple ooze started to come out of the very earth and dead trees, everything sizzling as if touched by acid as the figure of Bog fully formed with a stupidly creepy smile.

“Fuck!” I panicked as I managed to bring out a normal lance and try to stab Bog, which the bastard took through the chest but only caused him to laugh and grab the spear.

“I love it when they struggle.” He hummed as my weapon started to dissolve in it’s acid. “Their fear makes them taste so much better.” It growled before back handing me through a dead tree.

“Yeah, just wake up in a swamp, only to meet Bog, the most threatening of all Stick Figures.” I muttered. “Yeah, that makes sense, how the hell did I end up-yipe!” I yelped as I ducked under a projective, a piece of Bog as it latched onto the tree and stared at me and laughed, causing me to run away in a panic.

“You’ll never escape.” Bog said in a sickly sweet tone, every dead tree seeming to just produce more of Bog. “You can’t hide.” Bog stated as a geyser of acid shot out in front of me, causing me to skid to a halt. “So prepare to die!” Bog shouted as he leaped out of the geyser with it’s mouth open, ready to bite me.

“No!” I shouted as I managed to bring out an enchanted weapon, a holy spear and managed to block it’s attack. “Just like so many others, they managed to defeat you.” I growled while pushing it back.

“Ha! Defeat?” Another Bog appeared out of the water. “They all ‘survived’ in their renditions of the fight, I am unkillable, GildedGuy figured that out first hand.” The acid monster said as he tried to swipe at me, only for me to dodge.

“Wait...Gilded…” I muttered as my eyes widened. “No...this isn’t real, this is just a Nightmare, and I think I learned how to beat it.” I muttered with a smile as I prepared myself for the fight. “Come at me Ivan Ooze, I’m right here!” I challenged the creature.

“You wish it was that simple.” Bog said as it slithered off as I chased after it.

“It’s gonna be that simple!” I shouted as I leaped forward and stabbed my Holy Spear into the ground, light starting to form on my spear.

Bog leaped into the air, grinning madly as part of his body reached out like a whip, curling and ready to snap at me.

I ran even faster towards Bog, zig zagging carefully to make him miss his swing as my spear glowed brighter, ready to strike against the acidic being.

As I inched closer I began to thrust the tip of my spear towards him. His whip like new appendage rapidly shot out and wrapped around my spear, burning my hands as it covered them too before thrashing me about the air and slamming me into the ground with pure brute force.

“Damn it…” I groaned in pain, trying to endure this pain as I managed to land on my feet and tug as hard as I could to pull him into me. “Alright you acidic bastard...get over here!” I shouted as I heaved to get him closer to me.

Right as I pulled several more tendril like limbs shot from his legs and back, jabbing into the ground and anchoring him. With a roar I began charging into him, his body splitting in half as my tip reached him. With a huff, I twisted mid air, bringing the spear into the side of his left half head.

I hit the ground with a thud, looking up to see his body fix itself into one piece, my spear tip still logged into the side of their head. “F-Fuck!” They groaned, gripping my weapon and pulling it out. A spray of their unique blood shot out all across the floor. “You- Little!”

He wobbled. Bloodloss was going to claim him but he wasn’t going down easy. He carried my spear, his limbs coiling in their liquid form and in a flash he sprang at me.

“Holy Lance!” I shouted, clapping my hands as the holy energy that was being stored up from my Spear suddenly flashed in Bog’s limbs, burning him with the sudden onslaught of holy energy.

Still, despite his own pain, he continued at me. He lunged, and stabbed; right into my left leg. “Little… bitch…” He spat, collapsing onto me as his body melted. Even dead, his acid burned me all across by body.

I woke up screaming, the phantom pains from the acid still stung my body hard.

“Impossible!” I heard Sombra swear nearby. “No creature could escape that Nightmare Curse.”

“Then you apparently forgot what Stick Figures are capable of.” I said. “Also fucking ow, being covered in acid hurts like hell…”

“What do you think I practiced these curses with?!” He shouted.

“So can we get back to the part where you just need a hug and not sending me into a nightmare dimension again?” I asked. “Cause seriously, before you threw me in that curse, you sounded depressed remembering your friends.”

“I am a King! I need servants! Not Friends! Not anyone to read with or go on picnics, or have hot, passionate intense sex with!”

“TMI there my guy.” I started. “Also it sounds like you had a girlfriend and...you're depressed you lost her.”

“What? No! I’ts not like she ment the world to me and her disappearance left me hollow and empty inside that only mass murder and conquoring barely filled.”

“Your first mistake was thinking mass murder and conquring would fix your problems.” I frowned. “Would this...Tina woman have actually wanted you to do any of that?”

“Well, probably not. But when your magic is naturally attuned to dark magic and necromancy there’s not much else you can do to vent your misery.”

“I mean...there are other ways to vent your misery.” I frowned. “Even with being attuned to dark magic and necromancy, like creating a band using some talented musicians' corpses.” I shrugged. “Considering I’m in candy land right now you all must like music right?”

“Oh you have no idea.” Sombra grumbled. “Sometimes some songs are good, most of the time it’s like, bleh, or meh. At least Tina had good taste in music. Your world's music just sounded better.”

“Well, a whole lotta people really like music back home, and liked to be ‘different’.” I shrugged. “So...let’s try to get back on the right foot here, the name’s Simon.” I introduced myself. “Who and...what are you?” I asked simply.

“King Sombra, last of the Umbrum race and recently returned from the grave.” He stated rather matter of factly.

“With a bit of my help and magic.” I nodded. “But...do you know why Tina left? Was she forced back to my world?”

“It was back when you lot were far more common. Dimensional rifts and all that. She managed to bring herself over, but kept an anchor back in your world so she could go back and forth at will. Unfortunately, when the rifts began closing, her anchor forced her back. She didn’t even get to say goodbye… Neither of us did. I was out getting breakfast and when I got back to our place… she was gone, and the rift’s residue saturated the place. Didn’t take much to figure out she was pulled back by her anchor rather than her usual back and forth travel.”

“Well...where’s your place?” I inquired. “Cause the rift’s are opening up again apparently, and...well maybe she’s there.”

“It’s been thousands of years both in your realm and this one. I survived because of a Curse I placed over the Empire, but she was… normal. Normal by your species standards anyway.”

“Weirder things have happened.” I brought up. “If I can meet a lady named Faust and she literally cut’s open a hole in reality, than I’m sure you can see Tina again.”

“Not unless one of you sticks can time travel…”

“Some can, but extremely rare…” I shrugged. “But can we at least get to your place so I can stop freezing my ass off here?”

They rolled their eyes. “Fine… Haven’t been there in a few thousand years. So don’t be surprised if it’s a mess.” Sombra sulked as he led the way through the seemingly never ending blizzard.

“Any shelter is better than nothing.” I said, trying to keep myself warm from this stupid blizzard.

We walked through the snow for what felt like hours until we arrived at a mountain side, also piled high with snow. With his horn lit up, Sombra moved a massive chunk of the snow aside, revealing a partly frozen crystal house built into the mountain side. His magic flung the door open and once inside, I was amazed at how much warmer it was in here. There wasn’t any fire but I saw vents that seemed to be blowing warm air out of them. “Natural underground hot springs and volcanic activity. Not enough to worry about, but better than constantly needing to use up firewood.” Sombra stated.

"Oh thank lord for warmth." I sighed out happily, steam already coming off of me from the snow melting quickly from all the heat.

“So, what are you looking for here?” Sombra asked, kicking aside some ancient plateware.

"I've been running around everywhere and or getting thrown all the way to my next spot for some reason...and all the reasons have involved me dealing with something or another." I shrugged.

“So you just… expect someone or something to be here?”

"I had to tell off at least two ponies for their bullshit, fought two other Stick Figures, one of which was a douche bag trying to eat sapient creatures, and then I had to deal with not dying to Changelings with a Queen that has a major vendetta against my race." I explained. "I also killed the Parasprite Queen in my world tour so far."

“Impressive. Which Parasprite Queen though?”

"I don't know." I shrugged. "It was near...Whitetail Woods from what I was told." I shrugged. "But I was also running from the police because they think I did something wrong."

"Heh. Let me guess, you swore in public?" Sombra chuckled. "Celestia's Royal Guard is a joke. Honestly. Compared to the Royal Guard back before, these new guards are laughable. Small matters they think the world of, meanwhile back before they handled real issues. Like demons, lich kings, myself, and Eldritch gods. Oh, and you lot of course." Sombra added. "These days it takes several battalions of their ranks to deal with a simple issue when back then one guard could slay a demonic Gore Nest. Pathetic."

“Damn.” I said in surprise. “Well...I suppose that’s what happens when nothing threatening happens in a long ass time.” I shrugged. “Plus it was because I ran away from them when I just woke up in the middle of town not knowing what Faust did.”

"Skittish like cockroaches I swear." Somra muttered.

Once the cold had left me I looked around. In regards of stuff there wasn't much really. A dusty couch. A dusty coffee table. Dusty floor. How does this much dust collect when there's nothing but snow outside?

As I wandered about I spotted a painting, caked in dust. Gently I brushed it off and I made out the images of Sombra, and his Stick Figure love, Tina.

Sombra in this picture was a lot different. Younger, no black flaming hair or curved red horn. Rather a normal unicorn horn and jet black mane.

Tina was tall, a full two feet over Sombra with long red hair. The two were smiling in this painting.

“This must be Tina huh?” I asked, seeing the auburn colored stick figure smiling warmly with the stallion.

"Yes.” Sombra nodded, looking down. "She was tall, tall by your race's standards. Especially for a female. Six and a half feet." He informed. "Was always something she was self conscious about. I always thought it made her who she was. Size, strength, yet easily scared, meek and shy. A true gentle giant, as the saying goes. Heh, that was actually her unique power. She could grow to incredible sizes, but six- five was the smallest she could shrink."

“That’s a pretty interesting ability.” I brought up. “Not a normal ability by any stretch...hmm, did she mention anything about where she lived?” I inquired, knowing plenty of regions that had individuals with rare abilities that were long lived.

"She never said the name but she said the endless snow here reminded her of home. It's why we built our place so far away from the Empire. Out here she could grow and dig into the mountain. Used to trade gems, ores and coal for food and such."

“Hmm...that sounds weirdly familiar…” I brought up. “And you said she made an anchor from our world and yours?”

"Yes. Despite her nature, she was brilliant. Loved to combine magic and technology together to create something new entirely. A branch of science all her own."

“Then I’m pretty sure she found some way to keep herself alive until she could see you again.” I chuckled. “Magitech has been a thing, but if she’s doing it all by herself then she must have figured something out.” I shrugged.

"Maybe." Sombra sighed.

“So is there a spare bed here?” I asked, the warmth and a semi feeling of safety making exhaustion slam into me like a freight train out of nowhere. “Cause I haven’t slept in...maybe more than a day and I haven’t done anything besides fight things…”

"Well, hmm… I do believe we kept something around here. Not many knew where we lived but… where did…" Sombra hummed as they looked through rooms and closets. "Here." Sombra stated.

Looking in the room, it was a small room with no window but an oil lamp and candle on the floor. In the corner of the room was a very simple cot bed with a single pillow and blanket. "You can use this, though be warned it's… unique." Sombra stated flatly.

“Will it try to kill me if I sleep in it?” I asked carefully.

"No no, nothing like that. It's… I want to say cursed but that's not quite right. Enchanted maybe? It's got a mind of its own and depending on the type of person you are it will influence your sleep and dreams. For me I always woke up feeling my back out of place and having the most disturbing nightmares. Tina woke up fresh as a spring daisy and had far sweeter dreams. I forget where we got it but we just left it in here with those two things." Sombra informed, motioning to the oil lamp and candle. "Same thing. Though more… useful. Lamp there will turn on when lifted, even without oil, and the candle will burn a certain color foretelling how your next day will be."

I walked over and lifted up the lantern, seeing it ignite happily, only for me to put it down gently. “So what color would it be for ‘being forced to another location and fighting someone’?” I frowned.

"Dark red." Sombra informed. "Want to try it out?"

“Please.” I nodded.

He magiced over me some matches and I lit the candle. The small fire glowed a dark red but also a calming reddish orange.

"Hm. Interesting." Sombra hummed. "both going to fight someone or something and gaining an ally. Rare for it to ever burn two colors at once."

"Goodie…" I sighed out. "Well...at least something good will happen." I yawned as I got into the magical cot. "Night…" I muttered, and when my head hit the pillow I was out like a light.

To be continued...

Intermission VIII

"So...Sombra was just stupid depressed?" Rainbow asked.

"Sadly." Celestia sighed out. "We tried to help him through it, but nothing worked.

"I even asked to spar with him to relieve some sadness...that didn't work either…" Luna sighed out.

"So he went on to mass murder and usurping the empire?!" Twilight yelled flabbergasted. "And the heck with those weird items?!"

"I wanna say they're SCP's but I don't know…" Discord mused.

"Probably." Pinkie nodded.

"I feel kinda bad for Sombra now…" Fluttershy stated.

"It...does shine a different light on him…" Rarity frowned.

"Depression sucks…" Spike stated bitterly.

"Regardless, it does not justify his crimes." Luna stated. "Still, perhaps this could bode well for us. A chance to reform Sombra back to how he was before."

“Are you sure that can happen princess?” Twilight asked carefully.

"Sombra, despite his race and origins, was not always the tyrant you know him as, Twilight." Celestia spoke. "There was a time he would do anything for friends, family, he was once the best guard in the Crystal Empire. His natural affinity for dark and black magics gave him a unique edge basic unicorn magic simply lacks."

“Fascinating.” Twilight said in surprise. “I...never knew Sombra was that good of a pony before.”

"No creature in this world is born evil young Twilight. The world and our actions shape us into what we become." Luna informed. "A prime example, once upon a time Discord could barely grass into candy, or water into grape juice. He believed himself a magical mistake for a long time."

"Ah yes, my cringe edgy teen years." Discord spoke fondly. "I still have my Linkin Park albums too. Don't know what I was thinking with the reverse mohawk though."

“Fair…” Twilight frowned.

“Were the Stick Figures that friendly and kind?” Fluttershy inquired.

“Oh yes, young Fluttershy, some of them were our best friends all those years ago.” Luna answered with a fond smile.

"Many of Equestria's technological advancements came from them. Trains, steam and coal powered plants. Hydroelectric power plants. Modern boats. The list goes on." Celestia informed.

"Tis a shame we never got to experience Space travel." Luna frowned. "Or get those blueprints for airplanes."

“Wait, as in the average pony can go to space?” Twilight asked in shock.

"Without the thousand year banishment." Luna smirked.

"I still can't believe you can joke about it like that…" Celestia huffed.

“Well, it’s better she joke about it than make another Tantabus.” Discord shrugged. “While the chaos of everyone learning how to have Lucid Dreams was great, her literally making a physical manifestation of her guilt to haunt other’s when it got bored wasn’t such a good idea.”

"This coming from the one who listened to 'In The End' for twelve years straight on loop…" Luna commented.

"Oh I am never going to live that down…" Discord grumbled.

“So where’s he going next?” Applejack asked. “Cause so far Simon there seems to just be running or...well getting blown straight to very specific locations.”

"For now, perhaps he should rest. Even Stick Figures have their limits." Celestia stated.

“Considering he’s fought a Parasprite Queen, two of his kind, having his emotions drained to an extreme by Changelings, had most of his magic stolen by Sombra and then had to be put through a Nightmare Curse with Bog of all people…” Discord listed off as he held a list of the shit Simon went through and what he was going to go through which was...a lot longer than it probably should be. “I’d say he needs a nap yes.”

"Well while we let him rest, shall we get to our duties. Day and Night courts have been cleared… until further notice, so how about we raise the moon, lower the sun and have some dinner given it is rather late." Luna motioned to the clock, reading ten till seven.

"That is true." Celestia nodded. "I just hope things will start turning out for the better…" Celestia sighed out.

"Are you saying things could get worse?" Twilight asked nervously.

"Well the next place he's going to is Yakyakistan, which has it's own Stick Figure there." Discord shrugged.

"Why there of all places?" Celestia groaned.

"It's where the next rift will open my dear." Discord stared simply.

"Strange how they aren't opening where they did before." Luna noted.

"Ah, that little Luna is where you are wrong. They are opening where they did before. The planet has just changed positions since those days." Discord commented. "The Physical realms and their ethereal barriers don't always remain still and constant with one another. Imagine it like a ball within a ball. You put dots on the ball on the outside but inside the ball, Equis in this case, still moves and turns while the dots outside paint stays where they were."

"That makes sense." Spike nodded. "Like some fancy dice that really want to make sure people aren't cheating."

"So these are the same rifts, but different locations… Luna, we still have that map of prior rift locations?" Celestia asked.

"Yes. And I think I know where you are going. Using the old map and marking the new locations, we can find out where each rift is and where it is going to open." Luna finished.

"But...what could be causing the portals to open again?" Twilight asked worriedly. "And in all the same places technically? Is someone trying to bring back something or...live out some weird glory days thing?"

"When the barriers between realities rip, the initial tear is always a central weak point." Celestia explained. "Basically it's easier to reopen a sealed doorway rather than break down a new one. It's a similar principal to the mirror portal to the Human world Sunset lives in. The portal actually contains a sealed rift in an artificial barrier space that Star Swirled created to establish a permanent location portal. It makes getting to these worlds more stable and less damaging."

"Someone had to know about the portals before hand then, and even though Simon said Faust did it...she had to have a reason for it." Twilight frowned.

"Which begs the question as to how. If this was all pre planned, then who did this, and why?"

"There's too many questions…" Rainbow groaned.

"Let us eat then rest on the matter. We can tackle this with fresh minds and rested bodies." Luna stated.

The collective growls from the groups stomachs proved correct in Luna's assessment.

"I was gonna say." Spike chuckled.

"Heh, well, come on then. The dining hall is this way." Twilight spoke up as she lead her friends out of the throne room.

"So, shall we raise the moon and lower the sun before joining them?" Celestia asked.

"Let's. See you in the dining hall then Discord?" Luna asked.

"I need to double check something's." Discord said. "Cause while I do enjoy all the fun were having...something's need to stay bound." Discord frowned. "So I'll be back for dinner, don't scarf down everything too fast sunbutt." Discord said as he teleported away to make sure some boundaries stayed closed.

"I still can't believe you two used to date." Luna sighed with an eye roll.

"Oh we both know he wasn't that bad. Besides, the sex was nice and let's be honest, not to many other immortal males are around."

"This is why I prefer to stay out of relationships."

To be continued...

Stick goes to Yakyakistan

In the frozen north, in Sombra's very old house, in a weirdly enchanted bed, I had the best sleep ever after all the horseshit I went through. “Holy crap I never felt that relieved for some sleep in a long time.” I muttered, stretching out and feeling some satisfying pops.

I got up and after some more stretching, I got out of the room I was in, the smell of rice and beans hitting my nose. I spotted Sombra at the fireplace/kitchen I guess with two pots. One boiling rice and one boiling beans. "These were all that was still good. Everything else was rotten or stale as stone." He said.

“Well, you can never go wrong with Rice and Beans.” I shrugged. “But morning Sombra.”

"It's three in the afternoon." He informed.

“Jeez, how long was I out?” I frowned.

"Two days."

“Jesus…okay I didn’t know I was that exhausted…” I said nervously. “I mean…sure I went through a lot of horseshit in a day and a half so…”

"Just relax and wait. Food will be done soon and given you slept for two days, water is in that barrel over there." Sombra pointed out the barrel in the corner. "Only good thing about living in a snow covered wasteland is no shortage of snow, and therefore water."

“Always a good thing.” I nodded. “Any cups here or do I have to just drink from the barrel?”

"A few old tin mugs are in there." Sombra motioned to the wall mounted cabinet a bit above the barrel.

With a nod I reached up, opening the cabinet and pulling one out and using it to scoop up a drink. The water tasted rather clean, seemingly free of any dirt or other particles snow usually collects either before or after it falls to the ground.

“Now that’s refreshing.” I said with a smile. “Pure clean water, haven’t had this in a while.”

"The snow here in the frozen north is made purely by a wild magical storm, as a result the snow, when melted for water, is even purer than natural spring water. Back in the ancient times the Empire made quite a boon on exporting it to desert dwelling cities and counties. It was cheap, hundreds of gallons of fresh water for just coppers, gained them fortune and allies across the land faster than any expected."

“When someone literally control’s the most important resource on the planet, you tend to make friend’s and profit real fucking fast.” I said honestly. “But could also accidentally make everyone real pissed just as quickly if you're not careful.”

Sombra nodded. "Hence why the water was extremely cheap. The only hard part was exporting it, back then trains didn't exist."

“Fair.” I nodded. “Plus Stick Figures might have also been a problem from what little I’ve heard about them here and there in this world.”

"They were, but they were also helpful. Back in those days there were multiple faction of your kind, some wanted genocide, some wanted enslavement, domination. Others saw us as equals, and fought for us like they would their own. With how chaotic those days were it's no wonder Discord largely stayed out of messing with the world during that time." Sombra said, sturing both pots with magic. "In a way though, they were just as amazing as they were tragic. A thousand years of peace and Harmony has brought Equestria nothing but weakness and stillness. Ignorance may be bliss, but it has also bred contempt, prejudice and isolation."

“I’ve only met Discord once, he’s probably been the one leading me to certain places…but he’s a reality warper, not many Stick Figures can do that, and even then it’s kinda limited in some cases.”

"Discord isn't a mere reality warper, if he were then at least his abilities would be more understood. No, what discord does is far beyond the realm of reality warping. Reality warpers are still largely bound by the laws their reality follows as it's foundation. Discord ignores all laws and reshapes the foundation of reality like it's sculptures clay."

I blinked at that. "Damn...that's...pretty powerful."

"Yes. I suppose that's the point, being a physical, conscious embodiment of chaos itself it makes some sense but nothing explainable, which I guess is the point of chaos in the end." Sombra shrugged.

"That's fair." I nodded. "Haven't heard of embodiments like that before...only in fictional media half the time."

"Given how the Multiverse works and the various energies flowing through it, in many dimensions we are considered fictional in some form or another, it's both impressive and confusing to see something be so similar yet also so alien to your home world existing in another."

"It's extremely confusing." I nodded. “But that’s life for ya.”

After some time passed the food was done and I greedily ate several plates. Once I was finally full Sombra showed me around more. Turns out there was more to this small shack than first glance. Behind one door was the Bathroom, which used melted snow for water to flush the toilet and magic to incinerate the sewage, and apparently other trash they had. It also used magic to allow hot showers, which I jumped at the opportunity for one.

After that Sombra took me to the basement, where as well as storage it lead to the heart of the mountain, being a small dormant volcano where slow from the outside was heated, melted and blown back into the main cabin to keep everything warm up there. From there was an indoor garden that… was quite overgrown. "Huh, I guess that automatic watering system still works." He said, using magic to cut through the various vines and branches.

"Alright, so should I be worried about either sentient man eating plants or poisons?" I asked carefully, bringing out a simple machete and cutting the vines and branches as well.

"No, all these plants were herbs for alchemical healing potions and crops for our own food stocks. Mostly grapes, potatoes, carrots, and a small apple tree and a small bed of wheat to experiment using Solar stones as an alternative source of sunlight. Judging from the overgrowth it's all gone quite well." Sombra said, picking an apple off a random branch and biting into it. "Hm, not bad. A bit more crunch than the original apples, must have evolved to grow tougher over the years."

“Makes sense.” I said, picking a grape off the vine and eating it to see how good it was.

I was surprised to bite into a slightly crunchy grape. It was actually more like biting into a cherry really. It tasted good, a bit tangy with a sweet aftertaste.

Moving from the subterranean garden we arrived at the mix laboratory/magic shop. This must be where Sombra and Tina worked on stuff. One sided was all electronics and stuff, the other was books, pots, bottles that I assume are potions and a desk with paper and pens piled high on it. "And this was our workshop." Sombra said bluntly. "Everything here was, at the time, the peak of your world's technology and my world's magic.

“Still impressive in some cases.” I shrugged. “Especially since it looks like these all still work.”

"They should, Tina built them herself and a little spell craft to avoid rusting or decay helps preserve them."

“Fair enough.” I nodded. “So what sort of nonsense did you do in here?”

"Sexually, a lot, invention wise we mostly focused on creating circuit boards and building electronics in the shape and form of spell matrixes to see if where technology or magic alone can't obtain the desired result then together they'd achieve what was formerly impossible."

“Again, I don’t need to know how you were plowing the fields.” I said nervously. “But the new tech is rather interesting, even if it’s been upgraded to hell back home.”

"Funny enough most of this was, and still is illegal." Sombra said. Confused, he showed me as he turned on one of the machines. It was some kind of weird looking pressure cooker. He tossed in several lumps of coal and pushed a button. Ten seconds later it popped open, revealing the coal was all now uncut diamonds.

“Excuse me what?” I asked in surprise. “Also…why is this illegal?”

"Well, for one while gems, gold and precious metals are not as rare in Equestria as they are in your world, they still hold value and counterfeit gems and metals are still seen as bad. These however are not counterfeit. Coal naturally becomes diamond, this machine just magically/mechanically recreates that process in a few short seconds. They are real gems, passing magic scans and dragon taste tests. She mostly just used this as a means to fund her work back in your world. Apparently your people pay a lot of money for these gemstones."

“Yeah, gem’s are pretty needed for many of the magical item’s and magic user’s back home.” I nodded. “So the reason this is illegal is because it can mass produce the real things?

"Yes. The right mix can also produce rubies emeralds, ECT. Any gemstone really. Much like your home, gemstones have a variety of magical potential for enchantment or even spellcasting. With the proper set up near or under a ley line any race can use gems to house spells for use later."

“Fair enough.” I nodded. “So what other tech you got in here?”

"Well, there's that up there." He motioned to something that looked like a robot fish. "Tina mentioned your worlds industry led to mass pollution. That device was built to swing through and filter out harmful chemicals in the water and devour trash to help clean the area and uses the bile it takes in and uses it in a mana conversion "stomach" that turns the trash into more mama energy to keep seeking out trash and pollution."

“So that’s why some of the more polluted area’s were getting cleaned by weird robots…” I hummed. “The rest of the world wasn’t as polluted, but there were some places that definitely need the help.”

"Then there's that." He pointed towards a large ring hanging on the wall. "Same as the mechanical fish, but placed on the chimney of factories, using a transmutation matrix and gems for mana batteries, turns the smog and such from factories into harmless steam."

“Sounds about right.” I nodded.

"Then there's that." He pointed at- shit is that a nuke?! "She based the design on some weapon from your world, the material used for the Explosive actually works as a power source for the matrix inside. It's basically a bomb that terraforms everything for hundreds of miles from deserts into a jungle."

“So…she created a terraforming nuke?” I asked in surprise.

"She thought it would be funny to drop that into a place, set it off and watch as everyone panic only to end up suddenly in trees and lost in tall grass." Sombra smirked. "Would love to see that too personally."

“Would scare the shit out of anyone that’s nearby and or lives there.” I shrugged. “But…well seeing something explode dramatically and having the scenery change tends to happen a lot back home…”

"The last thing we worked on was that." He motioned to the ceiling. Hanging up on chains and from frames was something that looked like a small plane, only more unfinished and in several parts. "She spoke of flying machines in your world that let people and goods travel all over your world. That would have made the water transportation in the Empire to the other kingdoms and small settlements cheaper, easier, and revolutionized travel."

“Yeah, a Cargo Plane would help out a lot for transporting goods, and making it passenger would have also been great for moving everyone around.” I nodded.

"Well, that's my home. I suppose whenever you want rest or to take a break you can come here."

“That’s good…cause I’m going to need it for what comes next.” I sighed out. “And that’s whoever I’m going to have to fight next.”

"Here." Sombra said, opening a nearby desk drawer and pulling out a book and a box of shiny looking carved gems. "This is a form of Shadow Magic I learned picking through the ruins of the Umbrum Kingdom. Umbrum like myself possess the natural ability to dive into shadows and travel vast distances within the darkness. Other creatures can't navigate this darkness as they lack the inborn natural navigation. This is a special anchor almanac and is similar in use to what Tina used. Just place a stone to the book and then bury it in the ground. From there you can open the almanac to the maps with stones placed around and it will Drag you through the shadow plane from one location to another. There already one outside the door, another at the Crystal Empire."

“Waypoints? That’s awesome.” I said with a smile. “And Shadow Magic? I’m pretty well versed in that actually.”

"Really? How so? Majority of races here can't wield it without some form of corruption or mutations."

“It’s just another form of energy.” I shrugged, pulling out a Scimitar that Sombra could tell was completely fueled my Shadow Magic. “This thing took a while to both master as a weapon…and also a while to master as apparently Shadow magic can give these thing’s sapience…and it got a dominatrix woman’s personality…” I said carefully, blushing in embarrassment at remembering the crap I had to do in the mental realm while trying to master this version of a Scimitar.

"Interesting." Sombra said, his horn glowing as he seemed to be examining the weapon. "It is definitely shadow magic, but like all dimensions there is a distinct difference in how it flows and how it effects itself, the user and in this case, the item imbued with it. I didn't get much chance to study the magics of your world, it acts rather differently than Equestria's magic."

“Magic has…always been weird, and I’ve mastered all the schools.” I said honestly. “But yeah…it’s also a problem cause it weirdly got a personality to it…though I’m surprised they haven’t said anything…or acted horny…”

"To each reality is their own. Well, I'll be here, cleaning up and… probably working on a disguise so I can enter the empire and buy more modern items and other supplies. If I'm going to be a hermit out here I'll at least live in comfort."

“Works for me.” I nodded. “And I’m going to have to head off and fight whoever the hell popped up here next…” I sighed out. “What’s the nearest town or city?”

"The Crystal Empire is the only civilization here in the frozen north."

“Really?” I asked with a frown. “Nothing else? There has to be some race that lives up here, bears or yaks?”

"There is Yakyakistan but they are basically in the North Pole of the planet, passed the mountains that line the frozen ocean coast."

“Right then.” I nodded. “Out of the way location that not many would even think would be attacked…sounds like a prime location for a Stick Figure to attack.” I nodded.

"Probably. You'd have to get a guide to take you there, not many even know there is a kingdom up there, fewer know how to reach it."

“Goodie…” I muttered. “And I’d rather not get hypothermia again just to get there…”

"I'm sure you can find a coat to wear once you enter The Empire."

“True…” I nodded. “Hopefully they won’t try to attack me or anything weird if I get to the place first.” I shrugged.

"Doubtful, the guard in the empire are competent."

“As long as I don’t do anything bad, they shouldn’t immediately try to attack me.” I started, thinking about what ‘competent’ means to the ponies and competent to Stick Figures here.

I used the Waypoint book to travel to the Crystal Empire. It was a blink almost, and when everything came back into focus I stood just outside the main city, still inside that barrier and inside the warmth. Wow, Crystal Empire was really literal.

“Wow, this place sure looks fancy…” I muttered to myself, starting to walk around the place. “Wait…I don’t have money…” I muttered. “Sssshit…” I grumbled.

With a sigh I walked into the city. I was surprised to see the ponies all looked like they were made of crystals too. Eventually I found a clothing store. Crap… where can I…

I turned around. Directly across the street was a pawn shop. Huh… convenient.

“Uh…sure…” I muttered while walking over to the pawn shop, and even though I didn’t really want to pawn off one of my thing’s, I knew I had at least something that could at least get me a bit of money.

The door opened with the ring of a small bell above it. The shop had various odds and ends. "Welcome to Low Income Pawn and Supply. You need bits, we'll buy almost anything." The pony behind the counter, a mare with a light blue crystal like coat and green equally shiny mane.

“Hello.” I nodded. “So uh…mind telling me what Bits are? As you can clearly see I’m…new around here.” I said carefully.

"Bits are Equestrian currency, but it is also a general term for any government currency made of a gold coin." She said, opening the register and pulling up a small gold coin from it that she quickly put back.

“Cool.” I nodded. “Good to know, so what are you willing to buy and for how much?”

"We buy a bit of everything honestly, even gems. Are you looking to sell or pawn? Pawning will let you pay the money back but we won't give you as much as if you were to sell us the item." The mare informed.

“Fair enough.” I nodded as I pulled out a simple, but extremely well made knife from my little pocket dimension. “How much will this go for either selling or pawning?” I inquired, gently putting it down on the counter hilt facing the cashier.

The mare looked it over for a time before running a glowing emerald over it. "This is a real good quality item. It's enchanted too? Wow. Well, we can only pay three hundred bits if you sell, one fifty to pawn but you can definitely get a better price if you went to the Royal Guard Quartermaster. They buy lots of third party weapons and armor so long as it's good quality."

“And where would that be?” I asked simply, gently taking the knife in a non-threatening manner as to not spook the crystalline mare.

"Just head towards the Palace, you can't miss it and look for the nearby building that kinda looks like a mix between a wearhouse and a squatters shack." She stated.

“Fair enough.” I nodded, putting the knife away. “Thank you very much ma’am, and I hope you have a nice day.” I said politely.

"You too stickman." She replied.

I walked through the roads up to the palace and spotted the building. She was right, this looked almost like an abandoned warehouse squatters would live in. I managed to find the door and knocked on it.

The door opened and I was greeted by an older stallion in royal guard armor. He looked up at me and chuckled. "Well, I'll be damned. They are back. Looks like the empire came back from Sombra's curse just in time for me to see y'all twice in my lifetime."

“Well, from what I’ve heard here and there it has been over a thousand years.” I said honestly. “The name's Simon sir.” I said politely to the old veteran if he has met Stick Figures before. “And right now…I kinda need money and a way to get to Yakyakistan.”

"Heh, no need to be so formal kid. I fought alongside and against a lot of your kind and I can tell the good from the bad. Ya make it pretty obvious." He chuckled. "Come on in, welcome to the Quartermasters stockhouse." He said. I followed him in and was met by lots of wooden crates all stacked high. In the center of all this was a couch, radio, bookshelf and tv and lots of DVDS. "So, what brings ya here?"

“I’m currently on a weird world wide field trip so far dealing with a lot of shit…” I sighed out. “Don’t know why, but Faust really wanted me to be here to solve somethings, and why I’m currently here? Well I just helped a…new friend get past some old grievances and hopefully have him get better as a person, and now I’m on my way to Yakyakistan because that’s probably the next place a Stick Figure might show up.”

"Found Sombra and hung out with him in that house he and his girl used to share huh?" I was surprised by his bluntness. He laughed. "Kid, I trained Sombra back when he was a royal guard here. Knew his girl Tina. Hell only reason I didn't stop him when he took over the place was because I was just as depressed as he was y'all were gone. And drunk, really drunk. Let me tell you, waking up to a thousand year old hangover is not pleasant."

“I can imagine.” I nodded. “So yeah, I helped Sombra get out of his whole ‘I will be your Doom’ schtick, and now he’s chill…for the most part.” I shrugged. “Only took him wondering how I broke out of his nightmare curse to calm down.”

"Heh, sounds about right. So, need to get to the Yak kingdom huh? Gonna be quite the hike."

“Yeah, cause I have a bad feeling that there might be someone else spawning there.” I said carefully. “Plus it wouldn't be the worst hike I’ve had to go on…”

"Heh, nice. Mind if I tag along?"

“Sure.” I nodded. “The more the merrier, plus it would be really good to have another person around that isn’t trying to chase me for no reason or…or whatever the hell the Changeling’s went through…” I sighed out.

"Yeah, shame too. Queen Larva was hot." The older stallion sighed. "So, Simon, I'm Iron Hoof." He introduced.

“Nice to meet you Iron Hoof.” I nodded. “And…wish there was a way to fix that whole thing…but right now, we need to get to the Yak’s before things get weird or bad, and I also need a lot of money and items cause I also need to fix a weapon that Duster broke cause he’s a prick.” I frowned, remembering that I need to fix my Water Greatsword after he broke it in half with his Sable sand attack.

"Heh, help yourself to the stuff we got in here." He said, using a rear leg to kick the wood box next to him. "everything here is currently being kept packed away case Princess Peach Bottom up in the castle right now thinks they're 'too dangerous' and 'alien in origins and should be studied with the utmost care'." He grumbled. "Big push over I swear. Now Princess Amore, now that was a mare. Ruled the empire and slaughtered her enemies all before lunch."

“That’s what Peace does.” I said as I moved over and opened up the box. “You learn that you don’t need weapons or the want to kill, when you can finally see there’s other ways to solve things.” I shrugged. “Oh, do you also have a forge I can fix some weapons of mine?”

"And the Blacksmith that runs it." He said with a grin.

“Thank you god.” I sighed out thankfully. “Cause I’m seriously going to need to fix a weapon and also…maybe create a new weapon or two based on what kind of blacksmithing techniques I can learn from the Blacksmith.”

Majority of these boxes didn't have anything all that impressive. Some armors and such. Guns, a lot of guns and explosives, and to my surprise MRE packets. I took everything anyway and once the last box was empty I also packed the DVD and stuff here away in my pocket dimension since they are Iron Hoofs.

He lead me to A building across the street. Here I spotted the blacksmith, a stallion as old as he was. He was a dark grey in color for his coat, and a dark red for his mane. He looked over and upon seeing me, smiled. "About damn time you lot came back." He said with a chuckle. "Swear if something interesting didn't happen soon I'd usurp the new princess and prince."

"Hell, it seems like it happens once a month." Iron chuckled. "Good to see ya Smog Iron."

"Nice ta see you cousin." Smog Iron said with a nod.

“Nice to meet you sir.” I said politely, wanting to show respect to my elders apparently. “I need some help with reforging a weapon, and…well since you’re about as board as can be, I might as well also ask if there’s any blacksmithing techniques I can learn from you cause Sombra’s already told me some pretty interesting thing’s him and Tina figured out.”

"Heh, sure can. Come on over, bring out your weapons and I'll show ya a thing or two."

“Right then.” I nodded while bringing out my Aqua Greatsword first, which was currently in two halves still. “So how this broke, I was fighting some jackass with Sand powers…in a Mountain Valley esc cowboy area.” I said carefully, the name of the actual geography escaping me for some reason.

"Ah, hmm… let me check something…" He said, taking my sword and taking the handle off. Under the handle in that part of the metal I spotted some symbol, a hammer and a horseshoe. "Ha! Knew it. This is one me and my friend Russell made." He smiled, then gave me a kick to my foot. "The hell you doin breaking one of our best works?!"

“Bitch I hand made this thing!” I countered, hopping as I had a horse literally stomp on my foot.

"Then explain this mark?" He asked, showing me the horseshoe and hammer mark on that part of the blade. "We marked all our works with this, so why did ya put it on if ya did make it?"

I blinked, looking over that symbol, and then looking back at the symbol of that hammer. “Wait…hold the fuck up…” I said as I went into my pocket armory and pulled out another of my weapons, a Kukri I enchanted with earth magic…it had the same symbol. “Hold on, I know I made these myself…it took me forever to find the necessary minerals and materials…hold on, what’s the name of this Smithy?” I asked quickly, super confused as to how I managed to have their symbol when I knew I made this by hand.

"The Heavy Hoofed Hammer." Smog Iron responded.

“Oh…” I started, before realization hit me. “Hold up, you’re the Smog Iron!?!” I gasped in shock.

"Yeah, and I'm old, not def." He huffed, rubbing his ears.

“S-sorry.” I said sheepishly. “But yeah, I knew this symbol looked familiar when I first saw it, your symbol was on some of the best crafted weapons back home, I always wanted to make thing’s as good as your work or other’s that craft stuff like this…so I joined the smithy guild and started making a whole lot of things.” I said eagerly.

"Ah, must be our old works Russell had on him when he went back. He knew his metal and I knew enchantments and magic. Between the two of us we armed most every soldier back in that war."

“And the techniques were brought over to my world and it flourished in many incredible ways.” I said honestly. “But…I get to learn from the master himself? Everyone back home is going to be jealous as hell.”

"Heh, well let me see what you can do so far. Go on, use whatever ya need to fix up your sword."

I nodded and immediately went to work, having personally made this thing and having trained with it for months on end, I knew what I had to do as I started up the forge and looked around for the proper materials. “Hey, got any water gem’s or sapphires lying around? Cause while the enchantment’s still, oh so thankfully, still intact, I’m not entirely sure if it’ll withstand the reforging by itself.” I inquired.

"Box to the right there." He motioned.

“Thank you.” I said while grabbing a few of the necessary gems and putting them down carefully on the table as I put more coal in the fire, making sure the heat is steady and high as I prepare the forging process. “Alright…let’s get started…”

So, after several hours under the stern gaze of Smog Iron and Iron Hoof, I finally put my blade into the last cooling and enchantment process. “Alright…now it’s time to see if I didn’t majestically fuck this up…” I muttered, carefully pulling the greatsword out and making sure the water enchantment was fully in place and stable in the blade, which I found out during the process that smithing magic into a weapon was both a fuck ton easier, and a shit ton more difficult with said ease.

Smog Iron looked over my finished work, eyeing it like a teacher grading a test. "Well, there is a talent, and you have some good skill." He said. "Though it seems you don't know how to smith the mana properly with the metal."

“I do, just…a thing I noticed while in the smithing process is how easier it is to add in and let the enchantment work properly, and that threw me off a bit.” I explained nervously. “It probably has something to do with the ambient magic around adding in to the mana working’s and the like…I don’t actually know since I’ve never forged in such a mana enriched environment before.”

"Hm, fair. Typically with a mix of magic stones like gems and metal, the ambient magic in the air adds to the work and the heat mixes the two into a single body, giving it it's own magic aura and allowing it to self resupply from the ambient mana and the mana in the wielder, something you Stick people seem to have in abundance."

“We tend to have a lot of magic in ourselves from time to time.” I nodded. “But so far…I haven’t really noticed due to me running around the world without a break…but this world is saturated in mana.” I pointed.

"Yeah, has been since day one." Smog Iron nodded. "It's a unique thing. For every ten planets with life in the cosmos, roughly four have enough mana in the environment for active use, the rest have something called Passive Mana. This magic can't be actively used for one of two reasons. One is that there isn't enough, another is that there is too much."

“Fair enough.” I nodded. “And this world might have a tad too much mana, but the inhabitants adapted to be able to use said mana in some way?” I guessed, considering I’ve seen Pegasi, Unicorns, and other such magical creatures I had to assume.

"Almost. True this world has a lot of mana, it's still within the usable range for us as an organic species. Other worlds with too much, the organic life can't use it simply because it's too much. Consider it like… trying to pour the ocean into a water balloon. It simply can't fit nor will it last long. It will fill up way too quickly and burst instantly, so the life growing on these worlds evolves to just ignore the magic entirely as if it ain't even there."

“Fair enough.” I nodded. “So how do I fix this?”

"First of all I'll need to see if you are capable of using magic yourself. I see you have a little pocket dimension in your belly button there but that's more a form of passive magic than active." Smog Iron said. He walked through a nearby door and came out with a book. Opening it he showed me the contents to be various diagrams of circles and symbols all arranged together. "This here is how magic on Equestria works. The Spell Matrix is like a means of telling, or as Russel put it, Programing, the magic to do a certain thing. Unicorns can just keep a mental image of these Spell Matrixes and use their horns for the rest, but Pegasi and Earth Ponies use magic more passively through our bodies, but can draw out these things to achieve a similar effect."

"Oh like my spell books?" I inquired as I brought out one of the many, many tombs I had, this one colored red as it held mostly fire based spells. "Magic is a weapon after all...but now I'm not sure if it's because the book is inherently magic or if I am." I said carefully, putting the book away as I looked over the books spell matrixes carefully.

"Who the hell told you magic is a weapon?" Iron Hoof asked, his tone rich with offense.

"I'm sorry, let me rephrase that. Magic can be a weapon." I corrected myself. "It all depends on who uses it, cause...well technically everything can be a weapon if you want to get semantic about it." I shrugged.

"True. Let me see that there." Iron Hoof said, picking up the tomb and looking through it. "Hmm, it's similar to what we use, but they're been modified. Must be when the rifts closed the knowledge they took back with them was adapted for the way magic works in your own world."

“Yeah, that’s kind of why I’m a little concerned that maybe I’m not magical, or at least as magical as I thought I was.” I said carefully. “Cause…well I’d rather not try to cast a simple fire spell to act as a light source and accidentally get a fireball.”

"Those are two completely different spells kid." Smog Iron stated with a chuckle.

“Not when there’s an ass ton of mana around.” I brought up. “Sometimes things happen like that if you put too much mana into a spell.”

"Maybe back in your world, but that rarely happens here." He shrugged, opening his spell book and opening it to the first page. The matrix displayed showed on the page and the info next to it told me this was a levitation spell. "This spell is the first one any unicorn learns. It's the Simplest and most basic. Since you don't got a horn on your head, draw the matrix on paper, then tap it with your finger. The reaction will tell us how much magic you can muster."

“Alright.” I nodded as I grabbed a sheet of paper and a pencil as I carefully drew the matrix , then after I got done with that I lightly tapped it with my finger. As I tapped the spell, it started to glow. “So how bright should it be for…let’s say average?” I inquired, wanting to at least see if I met that simple bar in the magic department,

"I'd say that's average for a unicorn." Smog Iron said.

"It's definitely a sturdy foundation to build upon." Iron Hoof nodded.

“Well…I’m in a different world where magic’s a lot more prevalent…” I muttered, trying to salvage at least a little bit of my pride here.

"Ain't nothing to be ashamed of. If anything it's good news. Means you have a fair range of potential." Iron Hoof said.

“Which is always a good thing.” I nodded. “Plus it could maybe help me figure out some other things with all my weapons.”

"Yeah. Now, as for your weapon, it's an easy fix." Smog Iron informed, showing me the way of heating and hammering the weapon to properly forge in the magic.

I watched intently on how Smog smithed the magic into the blade correctly, enraptured at the technique that I’ve been striving to be as good as. “So that’s how you do it…” I muttered to myself.

"It's a bit tricky, but your weapons powers will flow way better and be far stronger than before. Plus they won't break as easily."

“That would be fantastic.” I nodded. “Still sucks that this broke to begin with…damn sand powers…”

"Heh, well if the mana had been forged properly into the metal it wouldn't have happened, but in the end considering how well it worked while… scrambled, magic wise, it shows you at least knew enough to make it work. Somehow." Smog Iron said with a chuckle.

"Hard work and determination." I said simply.

“Well, fix up anything else then get ready, we’ll grab ya a coat and then head out.” Iron Hoof stated.

“Alright.” I nodded while I pulled out a lot of fire weapons and went to work fixing them all up for the upcoming fight. “Just gotta make sure all my fire weapons are ready to go before heading out, and thanks Iron Hoof.” I nodded.

I worked for several long hours, even with Smog Iron’s help. Finally though the last of them was finished and I began heading out. Iron Hoof got me a coat by calling in a favor with the local cloth makers to make me a nice warm suit.

The last things we packed were some extreme weather camping gear. “I have to say, that pocket dimension thing you got on your stomach comes in handy.”

“It comes in very very handy.” I nodded. “Especially when you have thousands of weapons, tombs, shields, and items that have become feasible weapons.” I said honestly.

“Huh, ya know I think I remember a stick person with a similar power. She’d pull out whatever seemingly from thin air, but she was actually pulling it out of some portals that came and left quicker than the eye can catch.”

"That...weirdly sounds familiar." I frowned. "What was their name again?"

“Don’t remember, just know she wasn’t on our side so we fought her.” Iron Hoof said with a shrug. “Was scary fast.”

“What kind of weapons did she use?” I inquired, making sure all our stuff was properly packed and it wouldn’t fly away from any wind or us falling from a dip in the snow.

“Swords. Only swords. Same kind too, it didn't matter if you got one out of her hands or they broke, she’d just pull another one from wherever.”

“Huh….” I hummed. “Yeah that sounds familiar but I don’t remember…” I said, trying to think of who that person is. “Also, is this everything we need or is there anything else?”

“Yeah, well, thanks for the help Smog, see ya around.” Iron said.

“Here.” Smog said, handing me a map with several marked places. “Russel and I had to travel a lot for weapon repairs and so we had a lot of forges set up all around Equestria. They should still have some ores and maybe some left behind weapons. If you’re in the area feel free to use them.”

"Cool." I nodded as I grabbed the map and put it away. "That will help immensely. Anything else?"

“Try not ta die.” Smog said simply.

Fucking hell… Even with this coat it’s still cold as hell.

We were deep in the mountains between the Empire and the Yak kingdom. So fucking cold here…

“We’ll be crossing an old battlefield soon! Keep an eye out on the snow below ya. Who knows what might be under your feet!” Iron Hoof yelled back through the heavy snowfall.

“Alright!” I called out carefully, still cold as shit and trying not to bring out a fire weapon in case something beneath us gives way.

As we walked I saw small parts of various frozen metal objects largely stuck under the ice and snow. We came across an ice wall where, after looking inside… bodies. Stick people and ponies all frozen corpses in the ice.

"The fuck happened here?" I asked worriedly.

“The war.” Iron Hoof said simply, looking up at the ice wall of bodies. “This was how it was. Land soaked in bodies and blood, and the only burials they got were the ones time gave to them.”

“I…didn’t think there was this much damage…” I said carefully. “I know stick figures can be…pretty bad but damn.” I said, as I looked over the stick figure bodies, and while a majority of them were gray’s…there were colored stick figures that still held their weapons or items.

“Yeah, well, learning about a war in books and seeing it up close can be two very different things.” Iron Hoof sighed. “Hmm… hold up…” He said, running along to the far end of the ice wall. I followed, finding a bright green stick figure, one side of their head shaved and the other had long brushed over hair. “Hold crap, it’s Toxic!”

“Who’s that?” I inquired, not knowing any of these stick figures as…well this probably happened way before I was born.

“He was one of us… sorta. Come on, help me break him out.” Iron siad, hitting and chipping the ice apart.

I pulled out an ice pick and smacked the ice swiftly and powerfully, trying to help Iron get his friend out of the ice. “There might be a way to bring him back if you care.”

“Trust me, I know this guy and he ain’t dead in there.” Iron said quickly as he managed to break apart the ice and free him. Toxic hit the snow, stiff but shivering. He was alive?!

“Fuck… Cold…” Toxic huffed.

“Hold on.” I said while pulling out a fire tomb as I flipped through it. “Warmth.” I said, casting a simple but strong aura as the three of us started to feel a budding warmth surrounding us, like we were at a humble campfire. “That should at least help you get feeling back into your body.”

“Thanks…” He shivered.

“Shit, I thought you got sent back, how did you stay here?” Iron asked.

“Usual reason, was dead for just long enough to get frozen and then… swapped and been doing that since…” He shivered.

“Shit.” Iron sighed. “Sorry you went through that. How are the others?”

“Usual.” Toxic shivered.

“Well, good thing we brought extra’s.” I said, pulling out a large heavy winter coat and carefully putting it on the poor guy. “So hi there, I’m Simon…and how the hell are you still alive?”

“Hey. I’m Toxic and… Heh, well that’s a funny story. I’m kinda… immortal. In a sense anyway…” He sighed. “I’ve got Split Personality, I’ve got four others and none of us even know which was the one born into the world or all that. All we know is that if we receive fatal amounts of damage, my body changes and alters to the form for the next one. Healed and it keeps going like that until the next fatal amount of damage. We at least all have some unique powers.”

“Huh, that’s…rather interesting.” I said honestly. “Cool to know, and for me…well I’m a Master of Arms.”

“Neat. As the name might suggest I actually have control and immunity to all toxic substances. From poison, pollution, and even radioactive crap I can absorb, nullify and use for myself. I’m also an unarmed and explosives expert.”

“That’s a pretty good ability.” I nodded. “Wish I had it when I fought Bog in a nightmare realm…” I grumbled to myself. “So, right now me and Iron are heading to Yakyakistan, want to tag along?”

“Rifts are open again?” Toxic asked.

“Yeah. Not too many are coming out of them, but they are largely dangerous.” Iron stated.

“Welp, once a soldier always a soldier… “ Toxic groaned. “Got any food? I haven’t eaten in a thousand years…”

“Yes.” I nodded while digging through our belongings and bringing out some smoked jerky. “And hey, at least you’re halfway to the next rift, I had to get slingshotted three times across this world to get to where I need to be.”

“Ouch.” He said, taking the dried meat and eating it rapidly. “Almost wish I.Q was out. She’d at least be able to make you some transport. When she’s not trying to get in your pants…” Toxic huffed.

I flushed at that sudden bit. “Uh…why do you say that?”

“I.Q is smart. She’s really smart. She can learn anything. Back home she made technology and advancements that the government had to hide to keep from falling into the wrong hands. Here she made magical advancements that threw your worlds magic users for a loop at the potential. She can create anything by mentally reforging atoms at the sub atomic level. She’s a genius with one problem… she’s a fucking whore…” Toxic groaned. “Men, women, ponies, didn’t matter, if they had a mind and genitals she was interested… and very, very persuasive. She had a lot of kids…”

“...So that’s why…” I muttered. “Alrighty then…also good lord she can warp reality on the subatomic level? How is she dead?”

“She’s not dead, she’s in here.” He said, pointing at his own head. “Remember, she’s one of my split personalities. I die, and my body reforms and shapes to fit her own form. Right now she’s basically in a mental waiting line for our body to die so she or one of the others can take over.”

“Fair enough.” I nodded. “But…the hell happened here?” I asked, motioning to the giant ice pillar filled with corpses.

“We were in a battle against multiple ice based enemies. They made an alliance with this world's Wendigos, some kind of ice elemental spirits that helped boost their powers to incredible levels.”

“Damn.” I said in surprise. “Well…gonna suck if we happen upon one of them, either still alive or just came back through the rifts.”

“Tell me about it…” Toxic sighed.

“But all I can say is about the world is that I’ve only met two other Stick Figures, one was friendly and the other…well I kicked his ass back home.” I said honestly. “And there might be a third, but so far things are going well enough.”

"Well, it's better than when I got frozen that's for sure."

"Yep." I nodded. "Feeling good enough to head off now?"

"Sure."

With that we moved forewords again, Toxic keeping up well as we walked through the snow. I am not sure how long we've been walking, but soon I began to hear…

"Screaming…" Iron Hoof said.

"Never a good sign." Toxic added.

“Shit, this bastard better not be trying to eat the Yaks…” I growled, pulling out two fire swords and preparing for the worst. “We better hurry before we find…more dead bodies.” I muttered, assuming there's already dead or dying.

We rushed rapidly, finding a tall wood wall surrounding a closed interior that was rapidly filling with Ice. Rushing in through the large wood doors we spotted many Yaks frozen to the ground or frozen completely. In the center of this village there was a light blue colored stick figure, a wind of Frost circling them.

“It’s been over ten thousand years.” The stick figure said with a creepy grin, their piercing arctic blue eyes looking straight at us. “I was thrown back to our world when you slaughtered my father…” They growled.

“Whoa there, hold on a minute!” I said quickly. “First off, what the hell are you doing to all these Yaks?”

“Showing them the real power of the ice and snow.” The stick said, which was reminding Toxic and Iron of someone more and more.

“My guy, this isn’t right.” I said carefully. “Just relax and-whoa!” I yelped as I jumped away, a weird phantom horse suddenly slamming it’s front hooves into where I was originally. “Alright, what in the hell is going on here?”

"Shit he has one of those Windegoes!" Iron Hoof yelled.

"I think I remember you…" Toxic said, stepping up and in front of the light blue stick man. "You were too young for the war you got dragged into."

“And one of your previous selves was very pissed to see me with my dad.” The stick figure growled, the Wendigo appearing around him protectively. “And you killed him right in front of me in that massive fight…”

“So Wendigoes…do they have anything to denote their age?” I asked Iron carefully, not entirely sure what that ice spirit was fully as the only Wendigo I knew was a cannibalistic shapeshifter.

"Maybe. They are a form of Spirit so I can only assume when they took residents inside the ice elementals they did more than just give them a power boost." Iron Hoof stated.

"Yeah… that was Instinct if I remember." Toxic said. "He was the one to decapitate your old man. Guess that ice spirit ran with their tail between their ethereal legs before he died."

The teen created a fist of snow and slammed it into Toxic. “No…they died as well on that day…and guess who I found when I got here a week ago?” He asked, gently patting the Wendigo’s head. “Their daughter…and you took away both our father’s…and I’m going to make you all pay!” The stick figure shouted furiously, a sudden whirlwind blizzard starting up in their anger.

“Uh…huh…” I started carefully. “Well then, glad to know their relationship might be…a little weird.” I said carefully.

"Shame it's gonna be short lived." Toxic said, jumping back up as suddenly he began to radiate with heat, melting snow and ice around him. Iron Hoof immediately rushed out of the way. "Well come on then Glacius, let's see if your ice can freeze Radioactive heat!" He said, punching fist to palm and creating a small explosion in the process.

“Are you completely insane!?!” I shouted quickly. “What are you trying to do get everyone killed!?” I asked as I also got out of the way very quickly.

“I’ll show you what I can do!” The young teen shouted as he raised his hands high, two giant fists of snow rushing towards Toxic, who simply punched away the constructs with his super heated fists. “Icicle Crash!” He shouted as dozens of ice shards descended onto Toxic, who dodged and weaved around them all carefully.

“Huh, hollowed ice, able to withstand a fuck ton of heat eh?” Toxic hummed, seeing that the ice shards didn’t immediately melt to his heat as he started rushing towards Glacius.

Glacius started jumping away as he made the ground uneven and jagged, trying to get the veteran stick figure to lose his foot, which sadly didn’t work as the times he tried to force it the ground melted around him. “This isn’t…” Glacius growled as he started to channel his abilities with the magic of his Wendigo. “SHEER COLD!” He shouted as he threw his hands down as a massive gust of wind threw itself at Toxic, giant pillars of spiked ice raising up as it rushed towards Toxic.

“Elephant’s Foot.” He said as he slammed his foot into the ground and for a split second suddenly everything around him was unmelted, unfrozen, and looked like a piece of summer hit that one single spot as it blocked the Sheer Cold attack, as the area somehow managed to stay within a two foot radius around Toxic, as it didn’t affect a single Yak so far.

“This guy’s absolutely insane.” I said to Iron Hoof carefully.

The two fought ferociously, the longer it took the longer it looked like Toxic was heating up. “I’m almost up…” Toxic panted from exhaustion, as well as Glacius.

"Getting tired old man?" Glacius growled as he channeled more of his magic.

"Heh, not even close." He shook his head. "One last attack…" He said as he started to channel his powers into one final attack, with the help of his Wendigo friend. “ICE AGE!” He shouted as he thrust both his hands forward, creating an incredibly dense wave of ice and snow towards Toxic.

“FAT MAN!” Toxic shouted as he reared his fist back as he threw a punch that produced the same amount of heat and power as the famous nuclear bomb.

“Twin sword style…” I muttered as I blitzed over to the two, wielding an ice and fire sword. “Jotun’s Collapse!” I shouted as I slammed both swords into the ground between the two, as a cataclysm of Fire and Ice stopped both of them in their tracks, as flames started to consume Glacius’s attacks and Ice enveloping and imprisoning all of Toxic’s radiation and heat.

After a few moment’s my attacks settled down, Toxic in an ice cage, which I saw him absorb whatever radiation he was producing and cooling down…while with Glacius and his Wendigo, they both looked burned and defeated. “Ya two done?” I asked, taking a deep breath as I used a lot of energy and magic for that attack.

"Dude, the Fuck?" Toxic asked as he broke the ice cage apart.

“You would have nuked the whole fucking city if those two hits landed.” I frowned. “And more death is not something we need right now.”

"Firstly, fair point, secondly," Toxic raised a hand, a blast of some liquid shooting from his skin and hitting the knocked out blue stick figure. They immediately began to spasms and twitch violently.

“The fuck!?!” I panicked, as the Wendigo whinnied in panic as well at him suddenly having a very violent looking seizure.

"This is a war, he wanted to fight in it so he'll die in it." Toxic said, walking over towards them. "That poison targets the nervous system, quickly and painfully paralyzing and then killing them as it moves to the organs and shuts them down."

I immediately moved over and stabbed Glacius with a fire weapon. “Like hell that’s happening.” I growled as Glacius looked at me through his seizing. “Sorry Glacius, but thing’s are going to get a bit…hot for ya.” I said in my attempt at a shitty pun as I used my blade. “Funeral Pyre.” I muttered as his body suddenly went up in flames, slowly catching onto the Wendigo spirit as Toxic and Iron Hoof both saw them starting to flicker a bit.

“S-sorry…” Glacius muttered. “I…”

“Revenge sucks, I know.” I said carefully. “But all I can say is…at least you can go home with your new friend.” I said softly.

“Th-thanks…” Glacius muttered, closing their icy eyes as he and his Wendigo friend started to disappear, which I now noticed a portal appearing above us as the spirit dust of the two made their way back, most likely to get reformed back home.

"Sorry about that…" Iron Hoof said, walking up and sitting next to me as the last of their spirit dust floated into the portal. "At least they got to go peacefully. More than their fathers got in the end."

I got up and punched Toxic. “THE FUCK WAS THAT!?!”

He shrugged the punch off, as if unaffected. "A teaching moment." He said, looking me dead in the eyes. "You said it yourself, out of all the others from home you fought, only one wasn't so bad. But the others… no hesitation for them to start killing and slaughtering. You think sending them back home will change their opinions? Their hatred. These rifts will keep getting worse and if one you spared comes back, they'll be out for your blood specifically. Hardened by hatred and a craving for revenge. It's either deal with them now, or risk death the next time you meet."

“Wow, that talk is completely outdated in the best of ways.” I said honestly. “So I’ve only met two others before you and Glacius, and one was ‘bad’ was because he wanted to kill and eat the Bison in this world cause…reasons.” I said carefully. “But all of that…my guy, it’s been ages since this apparent war, and the only reason why he was still pissed was because, highdy fucking ho, a part of you killed his father right in front of him…which happened to be permanent.”

"You think I haven't lost people either? At least the way you sent them off they'll be at peace! I have to live eternally, back home and here I've seen more people I cared for die than I could ever hope to remember. You would do best to listen to my advice, I've lived long enough to experience the consequences of misplaced mercy."

“I never said you didn’t lose people.” I stated simply. “I understand being Immortal sucks in every way shape and form, but I just explained why he would be pissed at you, not because of some dumb ass war like you’re on about…the war’s over, the Rift’s might get worse, but thing’s won’t be like they used to. And you can immediately tell by the fact this whole city wasn’t a massive crater when we got here.”

"...Maybe, but I've learned one thing in my fucking long ass life. You can never fully trust others." Toxic said, grabbing a chunk of sharp ice nearby. "I'm taking a break." He added, taking the sharp ice and stabbing through his chest.

Before I could react his body glowed with a near blinding light. Chains and locks floated around him in the light covering him. Soon it all returned inside their body, and standing in Toxic's place was a chrome/silver colored stick figure person.

“Uh…hello?” I asked carefully.

The new person shook their head, looking around. "Huh. Yakyakistan. Interesting. I expected Toxic to have traveled further than just here." They said, finally spotting me. "And you are?"

“Names Simon.” I nodded politely. “And…who are you if I may ask?”

"People call me Instinct. So, what I miss?"

"Toxic killed the kids of that ice mage and wendigo you killed." Iron Hoof stated.

"Ah. Upsetting. I'd have preferred those kids weren't present for that event."

“And then Toxic tried to kill the kid when he was truly beaten.” I added. “I sent him back home thankfully…while Toxic talked about things…only a depressed immortal veteran would say.” I said carefully.

"Out of all of us, Toxic has taken our joined immortality the hardest." Instinct admitted. "Once he was shy, kind, gentle and compassionate. Over the centuries that has been beaten, tortured and killed out of him. Too many times hurt, too many times betrayed and far too many regrets."

“Well…” I started. “That’s…absolutely terrible…”

"With what we are, it's something we all have dealt with, and we each deal with it differently. Toxic hurts and harms those who would harm him or others first. I.Q whores herself, drowning in sex and caring for the children born from it… even when she outlives them. Hazard farms and builds, and I do what I do best. Combat."

“Right…” I said carefully, preparing for a possible fight than might erupt from this. “But uh…we’re gonna need to save all the Yak’s first.”

"Alright. Got a sword I can borrow?"

“Yep.” I nodded. “What kind of sword do you want?”

"Any will do." He shrugged.

“Alright.” I said while handing him a simple long sword.

"Thanks." He said, taking the sword. I blinked and suddenly all the frozen and stuck yaks were free. "Here you go." Instinct said, giving it back to me.

“Damn, how’d you do all that so fast?” I asked in surprise, taking back my sword.

"It's my special powers. I can train with any weapon to mastery, and continue to break all physical limits of standard and even some superhuman reflexes."

“Right then.” I said carefully as I saw all the Yak’s getting up and shaking off all the ice and snow like nothing happened. “Well…at least all the Yak’s are okay…”

"Come on, if the root plants still grow here I can blend some herbal medicine and make a decent soup for everyone."

My stomach growled at that. “Yes please.” I nodded.

“Root Plant this way.” One of the Yak’s said gruffly to the three of us.

“Thank you.” I nodded as we all followed after the Yak.

To be continued...

Intermission IX

“Immortality through a reincarnation cycle?” Twilight asked in shock.

“Me and Toxic used to date…” Celestia sighed out sadly. “But…then the War of Ice broke out…”

"Not sure if Reincarnation is the proper word given it's the same five of them each time." Luna said. "We did look into how it works but never did discover how it works or why they are like that."

“But it’s still…terrible.” Rarity said with a frown.

“The way his soul looked shackled…” Twilight frowned.

“But what was this ‘War of Ice’?” Rainbow asked. “I thought the Wendigos were pissed off after the event’s of Hearth’s Warming?”

"Yes. The Wendigos all were rather… angry, after that event. They wanted payback, but without negativity to draw them they could do nothing… til the ice elemental Stick People came around." Luna sighed.

“They promised them power?” Twilight asked.

“Then…what about Glacius and that filly with em?” Applejack pointed out. “Even if they both wanted revenge…they both looked more hurt than anything.”

"A story all too common I'm afraid." Discord said.

“Glacius…and his Wendigo friend could have been the closest thing I have found to true peace with them.” Celestia said sadly. “He was an innocent little boy, and the filly with him was learning to absorb positive energy, good emotions…then the day came when his father forced him into the War…” Celestia shook her head.

“That’s…horrible…” Pinkie said sadly, not believing all of this could have happened.

"Why would they force their children into the fighting?" Fluttershy asked.

"They were losing, they were desperate, and they refused to lose or give up." Discord said simply. "Pride, stubbornness and desperation are a terrible combination."

“And that’s why there’s a massive wall of Ice between the Crystal Empire and Yakyakistan.” Celestia said simply. “It was…a terrible day…”

"Wait… the war was only a day long?!" Twilight asked.

“That was the day the war ended.” Celestia answered. “The war lasted at least three years…too many are now long buried in the ice and snow…”

"Woah… well… so, can we trust Toxic and… Instinct and… whoever else is in that person?" Pinkie asked.

"All but one of them." Discord said.

“And…who’s that one?” Fluttershy asked worriedly.

"They call him Crimson. He is… well…" Celestia started.

"Imagine a Lich King, a Demon King and an Eldritch God all had a baby with all their powers and the mental stability of mashed potatoes." Luna informed.

"...Yes. Thankfully Crimson has the mentality of a toddler. So he is easily influenced and distracted." Celestia added.

“Ultimate power…given to a toddler?” Twilight asked worriedly. “How in the wide multiverse is that possible?”

"No idea. We've only had the… pleasure… to meet him once… and I'd like to never meet them again." Luna said.

"If he wanted, he'd probably be able to kill this whole planet. Myself included." Discord said.

“But…” Twilight trailed off, trying to figure out how in god’s name that would be possible, only for Spike to put a claw on her shoulder.

“Don’t think about it too hard.” Spike said carefully. “So, what about their other personalities?” Spike inquired. “What are they like?”

"Well, you saw Toxic. And Instinct is largely a soldier. He takes orders, but his combat skills are… incredible." Luna started. "Since he showed up, I've counted his kill count as ten. Thousand."

“Damn.” Spike blinked. “And…what about the others? Like IQ for instance.”

"Well, that depends. A kill count, a few hundred, a Fuck count… well… let's just say the Minotaurs didn't exist until after she showed up… or centaurs…" Luna muttered.

"She… fucked an entire species into existence on Equestria twice?!" Rainbow Dash asked in shock.

"Three times but that race went extinct seven hundred years ago…"

“What was the race?” Twilight asked, wanting to know more about this mystical race.

"You saw their fossils in the museum Twilight, the Lamina." Celestia said.

Twilight’s eyes widened. “Oh…”

“But…how would that work?” Fluttershy asked carefully, trying to fight off her raging blush. “I…I know you can breed hybrids but…aren’t Stick Figures and whatever race she…bred with too different?”

"Normally, but her complete control over transmutation allowed her to make her biology completely compatible and often modified her children to best survive and adapt in this world. Sadly the Lamina died out from a mutation of Snake Flu."

"So… did she do it with a snake?" Rainbow asked.

"A rare breed of dragon actually."

“Really?” Spike asked curiously. “I don’t remember there being any…snake like dragon’s in the Dragon Lands.”

"They also went extinct, but I.Q literally banged their species into a new race so at least their legacy lived on… granted I wish they didn't all die out but in the end, but her horniness was put towards a good cause there."

“Wow…” Spike said in surprise. “That’s…uh…” Spike blushed a bit at the growing possible thoughts going through his young mind.

“So anyways, who’s next?” Twilight asked, not wanting Spike to think of very horny things.

"That leaves Hazard." Luna said. "He is an odd ball really. His ability is a mix of the others. Slight transmutation of I.Q, raw atomic energy from Toxic. Combat effectiveness of Instinct, and a slight dash of the horrors Crimson can do. He doesn't really fight though. He likes to use his powers to build and farm."

“Fascinating.” Twilight said in awe.

“But…what about what happened to Glacius?” Pinkie asked. “When Toxic was about to kill him…it felt real…but when Simon beat him…he went home? How does that work?”

"I do not know, but I can suspect the reason…" Celestia said with narrowed eyes.

“Princess?” Twilight asked worriedly.

"I'll have to look into it more but I have a theory." She said, shaking her head. "Don't worry about it. For now let's focus on another matter. Sombra."

“What should we do Princess?” Twilight asked readily. “Cause so far…Simon looks to have made friends with Sombra and at least…done something to stop him from going mad and attacking the Crystal Empire again.”

"We'll keep an eye on him. But I believe so long as he doesn't slip up, he can stay as he is. Meeting Simon has so far been good for him." Luna said.

"Indeed. I'd say this might make Sombra a neutral Ally." Celestia added.

“Which would be fantastic." Twilight said honestly.

"Everyone deserves a second chance." Fluttershy nodded.

"So, any clue where Simon is gonna head next?" Applejack asked.

"He's doubling back to the Crystal Empire." Discord answered as he pulled out the script. "Says here he's going to face off against a newbie crystal guard, was an up and comer before the kingdom got cursed, but now she's going to face against the real deal."

“Cool.” Spike said. “Wonder who the lucky mare will be?”

“We’ll just have to wait and see next time.” Discord chuckled.

To be continued...

Stick visits the Crystal Empire

The root soup was pretty warm, not too bad. They had a texture of carrots with the taste of potatoes. Majority of all the Yaks were thankfully alright, save some minor frostbite cause of the cold.

"Well…glad everything worked out in the end I suppose." I shrugged. “Also the soup is pretty good.”

"True. And hey, at least you get to rest for a while before we go… to wherever next." Iron Hoof said.

“You mentioned you wanted me to give an up and coming recruit some real experience right?” I asked.

"Did I? Huh, well it would be fair. Cause it I asked Instinct here that he'd hospitalize the poor rookies."

I looked over at Instinct. He was clearly beyond skilled, if rather plain. He spoke in monotone and was rather straightforward and blunt. Zero emotion, unlike Toxic, or how he used to be it seems.

“I’m…still honestly surprised how strong Instinct is…” I frowned. “I mean…I’ve heard of plenty of people in my world that can do that, but they’re mostly Guild Leader’s or have the ‘Legend’ title…”

"Heh, Neither Instinct, Toxic or the rest of that group all cared for that. First one of them I met back in the day was Captain."

“Captain?” I inquired.

"He's sorta like the middle man between all them. Heh, son of a gun was making a farm in the frozen wastes. He keeps the rest in check when he has controle. Just lives a quiet life building farms or working."

“I understand.” I nodded. “Is there…any of the personalities I should be worried about?”

"Well… I don't know for sure. Toxic is mostly harmless… Instinct is fine, IQ will only be hazardous to your genitals if you agree to sleep with her. Captain, well I've never seen him fight. Just make farms and work… though I do think I remember hearing IQ say something once…"

“What did they say?” I inquired.

"Dunno. Mostly was just mumbling but it sounded kinda like 'be quiet'."

“That’s…not concerning at all.” I said sarcastically, honestly worried about that.

"I never asked about it. They got enough hardships in their endless life. Figured it best not to ask anything that brings up bad memories from them."

“Fair enough.” I nodded. “So, tell me a bit about this new recruit I was offered to fight?”

"Cocky little shit. Crystal Pegasus, named Crystal Wing and she swears up and down she's Celestia's shit on a stick."

“So you want me to smack her down a peg or two?” I inquired.

"Or as close to six feet under as you can so she gets some respect and humiliation hammered into her harder than she apparently needs a good screw."

“Didn’t…need to know that part but sure, a good dose of honest humility never well and truly ruined someone’s life.” I nodded. ”Kinda hope him bringing up she needs to get laid doesn’t lead to something…but I’m candy land with a reincarnating immortal surrounded by talking Yaks…” I thought to myself. ”Shit…”

"So, where is our next target?" Instinct asked as he walked over.

"Just some training at the Crystal Empire." I said. "I was recommended to…give a reality check to a pegasus mare that thinks she's the second coming of this Celestia lady."

"That would be the princess and leader of the pony race here in Equestria. She is an immortal, but unlike me, lethal wounds and injury can kill her. She rules with her sister Luna. They were good fighters back in the first war. Luna was the only one ever to kill me in a fight."

"So they're ageless, got it." I nodded. "Good to know they also know how to fight."

"Yes. Well, when will we go?"

"As soon as possible I suppose." I shrugged. "If there isn't anything the Yaks need, or however long our resupply will be, then maybe tonight or tomorrow?"

"Alright then." With a nod he headed off, checking around the town.

“I’m a bit surprised to see a lot of Nordic Cutlure here.” I brought up in some small talk about their civilization.

"Nordic?" Iron Hoof asked.

“It’s a geographical and cultural region back in my world.” I said honestly. “Viking’s and the like in ancient times.”

"Hm, let me guess, old and unpracticed these days?"

“For the most part.” I shrugged. “It’s all myth and a bunch of other stuff nowadays sadly.”

"Sounds about right. So what happened to them?"

“Time and an opposing Religion that says ‘my god is better than your pantheon’.” I shrugged.

"And the gods themselves?"

“Either don’t exist, or…considering what I’ve been personally experiencing so far in interdimensional travel, they fucked off after a certain amount of time cause they were tired of being worshipped.” I shrugged. “Though now that I think about it…they probably could have just been Legend Stick Figures that accidentally got worshiped like that…who knows, a lot of that shit happened thousands of years ago in my world.”

Iron Hoof nodded. "Fair. So, what will you be doing after showing the rookie to respect her superiors?"

“Most likely get teleported to where I need to go next for some reason.” I shrugged.

"Hm. Sounds like there's too many problems for you to fix."

“At least it’s been one at a time so far.” I pointed out. “Or at least, I’ve been able to get to them before things got worse.” I sighed. “But if this wasn’t all pre-planned, then Faust wouldn’t have magically sent me here.”

"Don't know any Faust but I do know that at least with Instinct and them helping ya the workload should be easier."

“Hopefully.” I sighed.

With the Yaks all good and our meal finished we headed back to the Empire. Thankfully that Waypoint map Sombra gave me came in real handy. I placed one down here just in case before heading back to the Empire. Thankfully I was able to take the others with me too through it.

Now back at the Empire I followed Iron Hoof to the training barracks.

“Alright…now where would this trainee be?”

Iron Hoof looked around for a bit before looking up. "There." He pointed a hoof up.

I looked up and saw a hammock, somehow nailed into the crystal ceiling and supporting a snoozing Pegasus mare.

“Why does she…weirdly remind me of a rainbow maned pegasus I drove into the ground by accident?” I said, a tad confused why I thought of that but it weirdly felt right.

Iron Hoof shrugged. "Eh. Well, have at her. Pretty sure you have something to wake her up and deal with her."

“I have something very special.” I said, as I used a tome and levitated up to the hammock…then used my superior strength and speed to wrap the pegasus in her own hammock and rip the nails out of the ceiling, landing on the ground and starting to drag her out towards the training area. “Wakey wakey cadet! Time to face reality!” I shouted as I bolted through the barrack’s into the training area, and with a mighty heave lifted the sack of a sleeping pegasus over my shoulder and slammed her straight into the ground hard enough to create a small crater.

"The hell?!" She yelped as she managed to get herself out of the net like hammock and shake it off. "Yeesh, I knew you sticks were supposed to be dangerous, but rude is just plain unfair." She huffed. She was largely a shade of light purple, save her almost neon green mane and bright yellow eyes. "So, given you aren't attacking the city as a whole you aren't evil like those other foals drawings but given you were being an ass I'm guessing some pony wants you to do something for them?"

"Iron Hoof wants me to give you a hearty dose of humility." I said honestly.

"May I counter the offer by giving you a hearty dose of hoof up whatever you have that qualifies as an ass?" She asked me.

"Aw, you're adorable." I chuckled. "I heard you have some merit to your skills, so let me see something."

She frowned as suddenly when she exhaled I was spun around and up in a wind vortex that lifted me up into the air and dropped me flat on my back… ouch…

"Well…neat trick." I said, getting back up and dusting myself off. "Got anything else?" I asked, even though it stung a bit I've been hit way harder.

She raised a wind and suddenly a much harder wind force slammed me into the wall. I didn't know if the audible crack I heard was me or the crystal walls and to my relief it was the walls… though I am still really sore from that one…

"Ya done already? Well, let me show you how it's really done." I said, pulling out twin fans as I swung my right hand and sending out a blast of powerful wind.

She kneeled herself down, wings spread out and flat as the air seemed to blow over her. Once it was done she got up, and with a flap of her wings air blasted me through the wall this time. "Using Wind Magic against a Pegasus isn't very bright. Then again your head is flat as paper so probably not much brains is there?"

"So you're one of those people…" I said, a wind barrier was around me that kept me safe from that attack, as I disbanded my fans and the barrier fell. "I will admit, you do have some skill," I shrugged, drawing a katana and getting into a low stance. "But not enough." I said, and before the pegasus could react I slammed into her chest with the hilt of my katana, sending her flying and through an opposite wall.

She managed to catch herself in the air and fly back at me, spinning around and making a vortex around me that… oh crap it's getting hard to breathe…

"Dragon Twister!" I shouted, drawing my blade and spinning in the opposite direction, the pegasus shocked to see her own tornado being forced in the opposite direction as a bluish white dragon was forming from the swing and tried to slam into her.

She managed to avoid the impact but crashed into me. The two of us ramming heads then tumbling on the ground before she then properly headbutted me and then flew back, giving us both some distance. "For such a thin creature you sure can take a beating." She admitted, a smirk on her lips as she eyed me now.

"Well, your the first pony I've had to fight." I said simply. "So far…meh."

"Keep talking, we'll see if you're still hot shit now that I know you won't snap like the sticks you look like." She said, a flap of her wings and she was off, flying fast enough to leave a small after image before she tackled me into a fair sized hole in the ground…

…

Ouch… that hurt… way more than I was expecting…

“Again, you are strong.” I commented. “But there’s something in the way, and you still don’t see it.” I said, as she suddenly felt chains wrap around her neck as I slipped out from underneath her and shoulder threw her back straight into the ground again, as I let the chains get off of her neck as I jumped back, twirling both ends of my kusarigama, twin chain sickles.

"Your fetish for tying up mare's and tossing them on the ground?"

“Don’t flatter yourself.” I rolled my eyes. “But come on, you tired all of a sudden?”

"I'm always tired but I wouldn't even if you did have something between that acute angle you call legs."

I kicked the pegasus in the stomach and sent her skidding across the ground. “Ah, that’s what’s in the way of you actually being good, your overinflated ego and constant need for sass.”

"Game recognizes game bipod." She said, managing to use her wind powers to slip out of the chains. "Like you're any different?"

“Yes, actually.” I said honestly, lightly walking as I kept up the spinning of both sickles with practiced ease. “I’m a lot different, first off, I’m not racist.” I commented.

"I'm not racist, I'm ignorant. There's a difference." She said, honestly making me stop when I heard that. "And no, we aren't. I can tell from your tone and the report from when you first arrived here that we aren't. I mean, most of that I'd let pass cause the Equestrian Royal Guard is kinda a joke but even so, your sass and attitude is not too different from me."

“I mean…no?” I stared at her in honest confusion. “First of all, I was told you think you're basically the second coming of one of the rulers of this country, I never think I’m that good.” I rolled my eyes. “Two, I don’t spout literal racist shit to someone because I’m ‘ignorant’ and you ignore that I’m not just a two dimensional character,” I even motioned that I was indeed 3D. “And three, while I am sassy, I don’t let my ego ruin many of my attacks.”

"Well how am I supposed to know what's racist towards you and what's just insulting when your kind hasn't been in Equestria for over a thousand years? Empire may have been gone that long but I was a foal when it did and barely remember any of that mess… then the whole Sombra thing happened and some brainwashing magic was… not fun and then I grew up in modern Equestria. Fucking time banishment bullshit magic's."

“Understandable.” I said honestly. “Would you believe me if I said he went on that rampage because he lost the love of his life?”

"Must have been some good ass to enslave and brainwash an entire empire over losing her."

“Was a Half-Giant from my world actually.” I brought up. “And…from what Sombra has told me against all my protests…I can assume so.”

"I still don't see the appeal." She said, walking up and around me. "I mean, seriously, I don't get it." She said, poking a hoof to my stomach… only for her hoof to poke into my pocket dimension portal there. "Woah!" She said in surprise.

“Careful.” I said carefully. “Faust gave me that to hold every single weapon and item I own.” I said honestly. “I…also didn’t expect anyone but me to be able to open it.”

"Neat." She said, poking a hoof in and out rapidly. "Hmmm." She said in thought before jumping In!

I panicked, reaching in and trying to pull her out… after a few minutes she popped her head out. "Dude, did you know there's a swimming pool in here?"

“The fuck?” I blinked. “Why in god’s name would I have a swimming pool in there?”

"A swimming pool, game room, fully stocked kitchens, like a million bedrooms and bathrooms, a huge ass bar and all kinds of insane stuff in here." She said. She dove back in and popped back out holding a can of soda. "Dibs on squatting in here!"

Before I could protest she dove back in… the hell?

“The hell did Faust do to me? Give the the fucking Castle Fruit from One Piece?” I frowned. “And how the hell do I get in there?” I frowned.

"I'm still trying to process what the hell I just witnessed." Iron Hoof said, rubbing his temples.

“Crystal is talented. I will give her that.” I admitted. “But…what is this about me being just like her?”

"Let me ask you something, Simon. Why did you train with all those weapons? What drove you?"

“Three things, one because I wanted to be like the…many, many idol’s I have, two, I could never settle one just one thing because of my own mental differences, and three…well, a combination of ‘Stick Figure fighting instinct’ and ‘being a Master of Arm’s sounded really cool to ten year old me’.” I admitted sheepishly.

"Right, now let me ask you this. How is your life back home? Family? Friends? Girlfriend? Boyfriend? Was your house full of people you loved or weapons you trained with?"

I… didn't socialize much cause of my training… parents passed years ago and… no siblings and… never had a girlfriend… and home was just… where I piled my weapons…

“I had my own Dojo home, I had to work really hard on it…” I said. “I have made friends…but…my parents have been dead for a long time…” I sighed. “What happened to Crystal?”

"Well, as you saw she has a unique Ability to control the wind. At a young age it was difficult for her to control, so she spent most of her foal hood training it. By the time Sombra, the banishment and the Empire's return all happened she was one of a small number of ponies left with such abilities left. The fame it gained her got her that Ego I was talking about. Still, despite her training and fame she was a lonly foal. Her parents died in Sombra's rampage and her powers kept most at a distance. Now, despite the fact she's called a rookie she's got the training to take on some missions, but Princess Cadence doesn't think she can handle a real mission. Thinks her past trauma and powers should be dealt with first before she can prove herself a guard."

I sighed. “I understand…”

"To be honest I was hoping she'd tag along in some way. Granted I wasn't expecting… that." Iron Hoof said, poking at my stomach… and his hoof went into the portal too. "Damn… should keep a lock on that." He said, pulling his hoof back.

“I probably should…” I said nervously. “Geez…this kinda weirdly sounds like the start of a weird romance novel, two orphans finding solace in each other's company and all that jazz.” I shook my head.

"Well, only weird if you make it weird. As for that whole thing." He motioned to my stomach area. "Only one person can really answer that question."

“Who’s that?” I inquired.

"IQ. Come on, let's go find Instinct." He said, motioning for me to follow. It took us about half an hour and once we found them he obliged.

I never saw someone snap their one neck with their hands until now. Before Instinct could even fall to the ground that weird lights and chains thing happened again. Now standing before us… was… holy…

She had long black hair, sapphire eyes, and a body like… like a sex goddess!

"My my, first time back out in a while and two lovely men here before me. Must be my birthday~" She cooed with a wink… crap, focus!

“Alright, so I need your help…” I said, trying to stay focused and remember all my training. “Please mommy…er, sorry, I meant IQ…” I looked down, trying to hide my reddining face from my own dumbass blunder at the sexy milf in front of me.

"Oh sweetie, no need to be worried." She said, pulling me into a hug and… her skin is like velvet! "I can be all you nee- ouch!"

The fantasy I was entering ended just as fast as IQ was now limping, holding onto her leg. "Damn it Iron Hoof… that hurt…"

"We didn't ask ya here for you to be your usual whore self. We need that brain of yours." Iron Hoof stated with a huff.

"Oh come on, it's my first time out in literally a thousand years. Can't I have a little fun~?"

"After you tell us what kind of Pocket dimension thing Simon here has in his stomach."

"Oh you are just no fun…" She huffed as she rubbed her leg.

“Also, be careful, someone does exist here.” I said while lightly poking the portal in my stomach. “Cause Crystal is having way too much fun in there…”

"Well at least one of us is…" She sighed, standing back up and stretching her leg some before kneeling down and looking at my stomach. I tried not to blush as she felt around there and found the portal entrance. "Interesting…" She hummed as she looked at the ripples and such. "It appears to be a localized and stabilized tear between space and void that is converted with basic matter and space."

“A woman named Faust created it after she sent me through a portal she made herself.” I answered. “Which…at this point, she might probably be a god.”

"Probably. No normal Stick can make something this complex." She said. "It is quite a feat. Tell me, what do you normally use this for?"

“From what Faust told me, is that it was supposed to be a pocket dimension for all my weapons, kinda like the ‘Equip’ from FairyTail, but then Crystal hopped in and said that there’s like some nifty mansion in there with bar’s, pools, game rooms, and god know’s what in there.”

"Hmm. Can you pull out a weapon?" IQ asked as she stood up and took a step back.

“Sure.” I nodded, reaching in and pulling out a Hook Sword.

"Hmm…" She hummed, looking at the portal spot over again. "Interesting." She then let her hands glow with some kind of odd energy, an almost green color as she felt along the portal itself. "Layered? That explains it… but the one she is in is new…" IQ muttered. Finally she let that energy on her hands die down and stood back up. "Alrighty then. Simon, what you have in there is perhaps best described by linking a TARDIS to another TARDIS." She said.

“Oh goodie…” I groaned. “That’s not going to be a headache and a half to figure out later…”

"Relax. All it really means is that Faust seems to have taken that pocket of space all organic beings with souls have that normally houses your soul and made it the size of several galaxies and layered it with a few dimensions." She said.

I blinked. “Uh…” I tried wrap my head around that statement. “That’s…how and why? And how am I still alive?”

"Well, first off the small pocket I'm referring to is typically a small bit between the physical dimensions and what one would call the spiritual dimensions. This pocket exists between them, making it a perfect housing for a soul. She has taken this space and expanded it, putting in several dimensions to help keep things with you working properly and to best ensure you don't lose it Somehow. You're still alive because your soul is still inside this pocket, it's just in one of the extra dimensions."

“Right…” I said carefully. “That’s…damn…”

"You said the one Crystal was in is new?" Iron Hoof asked.

"Yes." IQ nodded. "It seems these extra dimensions can be modified and changed based on who is in them and what their comforts are. The space she is in now seems to be able to freely bend to the wills of whoever enters it so long as it doesn't endanger any other residents that enter and doesn't abstain from the happiness of them either. It's kinda like a physical take on how The Afterlife works."

I rubbed my temples. “So she’s going to be in there forever…goodie.” I sighed. “So…might as well ask, how do I get in there? Cause I’m not fully sure normal ways would be able to work.”

"I'd wager meditation could work. Also perhaps yoga. Ball yourself up into your stomach and fall in."

“Good thing I’m really good at meditating and have mastered Yoga…cause even that self help exercise study has things to do with martial arts…and is an ancient martial art in it’s own right.”

"Well, now that that is out of the way, would you care to treat a girl~?" IQ asked, making me crimson red.

“It’s…my first time…” I said nervously, trying desperately to find any solid footing in my confidence for the pretty and smart lady.

"Oh sweet little baby, I'll be gentle~" She said, giving a soft blow of air into my ear.

"Oh for the love of…" Iron Hoof huffed as he left. "I'll be at Smog Iron's when you're done."

“Don’t you fucking run away!” I pleaded. “Don’t leave me…I’ve never been on a date…” I pleadingly whispered to Iron Hoof.

"Yeah, you ain't going on a date kid…" Iron Hoof said as he closed the doors.

IQ took my face and kissed me…

Holy… sweet… everything… IQ had long since gotten up to use the showers here in the training area and I was still laying on my back lost in the… first time… memories… her ability let her do things I only ever thought impossible cause reality but holy hell did she check every one of my kinks off…

“I…uh…wow…” I panted heavily.

"Well, I'm off." IQ said as she was out of the showers already and dressed. "I have a thousand years of Equestrian technology and magic to read up on and I want to see if they even got close to the publishings I gave Celestia to jumpstart this planet by several million years."

“O-oh…” I muttered. “Alright…have fun with that I guess…I’m just gonna…head off to wherever the hell I have to be next…” I said, finally able to sit up cause that took…a whole lot outta me.

"See ya around." She said, exiting the door.

So… my first time is with an immortal, super smart, super hot lady with possibly reality warping level powers…

“And then…she…bails…” I muttered. “Right…the best thing I’ve ever felt…to possibly the worst feeling I’ve ever felt…” I shook my head, the wonderful afterglow seeping away into…a cold feeling of loneliness I thought I moved passed. “No wonder people told me to find someone special…” I grumbled, managing to get up and get to the shower.

Well, that answered that for me. Casual sex is fun but the after part sucks. I got myself cleaned up and put my clothes back on and headed out. Hmm… maybe I should check on Sombra.

“Hopefully he isn’t setting anything on fire…” I muttered, putting down the waypoint and trying to fast travel to Sombra’s place.

Upon my arrival I entered. The house looked cleaner, that's for sure. Bit more lit up with a few lightbulbs here and there.

I found Sombra in the lab/garden/basement. "Oh, you're back." He said, using his magic to trim and keep the plants back into a manageable size and shape.

“Yep, just went through…a lot over these past few days.” I nodded.

"I've mostly just been modernizing the place and fixing the garden here."

“Well, then it’s a good thing for you to know that IQ is out and about right now.” I said honestly. “If you know who that is…”

"Yes I know the whore. Everyone does. At least anyone of the older generations in the Empire should. Some of the younger generations might know her too given there's a chance she's their mother…"

“She told me what the hell my own personal pocket dimension is…which is a lot bigger than I realized…and she taught me first hand, casual sex is great…but the aftermath can go to hell.”

"Yes well she never was one for romance. Just sex for pleasure, maybe have a kid out of it. Speaking of if you did rutt with her you better have used protection otherwise she is carrying your kid now."

I stopped for a moment, thinking about if I did or didn’t…”Uh…” I tried to mentally figure out that massive pleasurable mess that woman put me through. “Oh no…”

"Oh relax. It's not like she'll ask you for child support or anything. She'll just pop the kid out in nine hours then use her ability to craft a caretaker for them and that will raise them."

… Nine hours?!

“Why in god’s name didn’t she tell me that!?” I snapped, legitimately upset that she’d just ditch me after that possibility was slammed down on me. “Like…not being into romance because you’re a nigh immortal reincarnating being, fine, whatever…but to just go ‘oh yeah, you’re probably a father now but who fucking cares’? Are you serious!?”

"Thats just how she is." Sombra shrugged. "Part of her… self selected role was keeping the… population up." Sombra shuttered. "That female is shameless."

"Great…just…just fucking great…" I sighed, now honestly feeling like garbage at this point. "That's one way to make someone feel like shit I never thought I'd have to experience…"

Sombra shrugged. "Well, what are you going to do about it?"

"I'm gonna find IQ and not have her abandon the child for fucking one." I frowned. "I don't care if I'll be an only father, a child shouldn't be alone damn it. And I don't care if you said she'll make some genetically perfect nanny, nanny's don't replace the importance of parenthood!"

"And then what?"

"What do you mean?" I frowned. "Are you trying to tell an orphan 'why does having a parent matter'?"

"No I'm just asking how are you gonna fight and change diapers… plus you don't exactly have the chest for breastfeeding."

“I mean…I’ll still need the nanny for that part…” I said nervously. “But…I can’t just do nothing…”

"If you want. But where will you actually raise the kid?"

“I…I don’t know…” I sighed out.

“I'd say ask Celestia, but she's probably busy dealing with all the collateral damage all the other Stick Figure people are making. Or eating her stress cake. One of the two."

“And where’s Celestia?” I inquired. “I’ve only heard of her and never actually met her.”

"Canterlot. Capital of Equestria. All the snooty rich nobility types live there because they think their money makes them worthy to live near her. Frankly she uses their stupidity to tax them to Tartarus and back to fund the majority of her aid and other such programs so she can put up with their nagging for whatever if it means their excess money goes towards feeding some needy families."

“That’s what that shitty food critic get’s.” I huffed.

"Kind of surprised you haven't been there yet."

“I mean…I guess I was there after I killed a Parasprite Queen in…I think it was called Whitetail Woods?” I guessed, thinking back to…maybe a week or so ago.

"You were only a few hundred miles from it then." Sombra said with a nod. "So, back on topic, once you reclaim your," Sombra looked up at a nearby clock. "Seven hours from birthing child from IQ, then how will you be raising them and fighting?"

“Oh yeah, I was there. It was on that mountain with all those snooty pricks and, again, a dumbass food critic that doesn’t understand the basics of what the fuck food is.” I huffed. “But…I can’t get to Canterlot in seven hours…I don’t even know where I’m supposed to go next…”

"Well, much as I'd rather not you can have the child stay here. It's warm, there's food and all you'd need to bring me is a stockpile of diapers and milk."

“Wouldn’t be surprised if Celestia takes pity on me and helps you and whatever nanny IQ makes…” I sighed.

"Maybe." Sombra shrugged. "Well you best go find her then."

“I really should.” I nodded. “But while I’m making my way all the way to Canterlot, is there any towns or cities on the way there?” I inquired.

"Well, between here and Canterlot is Manehattan, Trottingham, and I'm not sure what else. Been a while and I think the maps I have aren't all that up to date."

“I’ll probably get a clue as to where to go in Canterlot when I find IQ…” I sighed. “Well…at least I saw a train station in the Crystal Empire, hopefully this Cadence lady won’t drag me off for questions if I get back there.” I said, wondering why I’ve heard stuff about the leader of the empire yet haven’t seen hide nor hair of her.

"Depends."

"Since I'm still new to this world, depends on what?" asked.

"If she's distracted or not."

"Fair enough." I nodded. "Well…I better get going, don't want to miss the train if it's actually going to Canterlot or not…"

"Don't forget to pick up your kid."

“I won’t…and this is all predicated on a massive ‘if’..I’d rather not take that chance.” I sighed, getting up and using the waypoint back to the Barrack’s.

It took me a while to actually find IQ… and by then she was six hours in and looking Six hours Pregnant… and Cadence… I think. A pink Alicorn was next to her looking a mix of surprised and sour.

“Oi!” I snapped. “I have quite a bit to say to you IQ.”

"Being?" She asked, flipping through the book. "You all seriously barely got electric power plants running off your Storm Clouds?"

"It's been difficult preparing the safety measures." Cadence said.

IQ huffed. "What has Celestia been doing with all those blueprints?"

“Why didn’t you tell me that you would get pregnant immediately?” I asked bluntly.

"Does that matter?" She asked, flipping the page. "Males fill me up, I pop out a baby and life goes on."

“Of course it fucking does!” I snapped. “I honestly don’t give a damn if you're immortal or not and are using this as some weird coping mechanism that Sombra told me about…” I looked at IQ. “Even if it didn’t matter to other people…it matters to me…but not that it matters apparently…”

"Well sorry. Not like it's easy for me either."

“Cause taking fifteen fucking second’s to point that out would have been too difficult for the virgin that you just left without narry a word after.” I rolled my eyes.

"Not the first flower I picked, and when you out live six hundred husbands, one hundred and forty wives, and forty thousand children, you learn it's best not to get attached." She said, looking at me now. "Never again. No more heartache."

“And I’m sorry to hear that, but you at least get to see them live out a happy life with you. I had to witness my parent’s killed in a terrible accident when I was ten…and had no one afterwards.” I growled. “I honestly can’t fathom the pain of immortality…but to literally hear from someone else ‘oh yeah, IQ was just going to build a super nanny then abandon them without telling the baby daddy at all’...well it’s terrible to me…”

"Parents should pass before their children. Nothing hurts worse than outliving them… every time. Not always at a young age." She said, looking back at the book. "You can take the baby, but leave me out of it…"

While I wanted to argue that our kid still needed a mother, I saw Cadence raise a hoof. “Please, excuse my Grandmother…she’s been through a lot…”

“She's what?” I blinked in surprise. “Never mind…but I was told that you literally create a nanny like being for the child? Is that true?” I asked, wanting to make sure Sombra was correct about that.

"Easily. They don't usually have much in terms of personality but I can build them, they can learn and I can make them look like anything."

“Thank you.” I nodded, taking a deep breath to collect myself from my kinda well deserved anger. “One thing I didn’t expect from coming here to probably save the world was becoming a father…”

"So, you’re this Simon auntie told me about then?" Cadence asked as she walked up next to me.

“Yes I am.” I nodded politely. “And you must be Cadence correct?” I slightly bowed in respect. "It's nice to meet you princess."

"Likewise. I have heard you are to thank for defeating several dangerous members of your kind as well as a Parasprite Queen. For this you have my thanks." She said, giving a quick bow to me.

"No need for bows to me, just me being a good Samaritan." I said.

"Right, and I'm Queen of Lust." Cadence said with a chuckle. "I take it you are doing well?"

"Well…kinda." I shrugged. "Sorry about the scene…" I brought up sheepishly.

"It is alright. My mother told me stories about her and meeting her personally I can safely say I get it."

I sighed out. "Thanks Princess…all this just…hits a little too close to home…" I shook my head. “I don’t know anything about immortality…but I haven’t had a family for eleven years…while she got to see them off through natural causes….I have to still remember their mangled corpses…”

Cadence pulled me aside, giving me a sad smile. "I can understand where you're coming from really. Much like you… remember that of them… she remembers all of them too. From birth til death… watching the little babies she created, the lovers she took, all grow up, old and wrinkles while she remained the same and pass. I understand you've felt alone and spiteful because you didn't get to have enough time with your family, but her excess of time has caused her to outlive every family she has ever gotten to have. Can you imagine that Simon? Watching the world, the family you lost die over and over again forever? You two aren't so different."

“Two sides of the same coin…” I sighed. “One of us had too much time…the other didn’t have any…” I shook my head. “Still…doesn’t mean she can just abandon them like they don’t exist…like just another accident…”

"What's the lesser of two evils? Letting them grow up never knowing their mother was an immortal entity, or being raised by their immoral mother who will watch them grow and die, and bury the child she birthed?"

I sighed, rubbing my temples bitterly. “Abandoning a child still isn’t right.”

"Maybe, but it's how she copes now. And to be frank it's better than… alternatives."

“Should I even ask?” I inquired.

"Well, what do females in your world do with unwanted children during or even after they're born?"

“I mean…that’s all up to her if that’s what she wanted to do.” I answered. “But…even if she gives them a super nanny…” I just shook my head. “This isn’t going to go anywhere…”

"Maybe not. But onto other matters." Cadence said. "I understand you possess a unique Ability to store a vast amount of weapons within a… pocket dimension located in or around your stomach. Am I to assume the reason all the old Stick Figure weapons and such Iron Hoof was in charge of vanishing was you?"

“Iron Hoof let me.” I said with raised hands. “Said I could take all of them to help the Yak’s who were…needing some much needed help.”

Cadence nodded. "I understand. I am not mad. I'm actually relieved. Mother always said many of those weapons were rather dangerous. Frankly them being in your… limbs, is better than letting them sit and gather dust or end up in bad hooves." She stated. "I was actually wondering if you'd be willing to house other dangerous objects my Mother kept in a special vault."

“That depends on what they are, and if they don’t magically ruin any part of my soul…cause that’s what’s making my new armory and mansion in there.”

"I believe only one of the items can do such a thing but it's… unique. Follow me." Cadence said as we were leaving the library and heading elsewhere.

“So…” I started, noticing the mark on her flank. “I’ve noticed that mark on many different ponies' flanks…what are they?” I inquired. “And why is your’s a weird crystal heart? Is your power love or something?”

"They're called Cutie Marks. They're part of a ponies biological magic and signify our special talents."

“Huh, that’s interesting.” I said honestly. “So, what’s special about you princess? Besides having both wing’s and a horn?”

"My special talents reside within love. I can sense, detect and even tell who is best with who and if need be I can pull love two would have for one another back to the surface in the event it starts to become buried in other emotions."

“Then am I ever able to feel love?” I asked, honestly wanting to know if I was even able to feel that again after…way too long alone.

"I can already tell you feel Fatherly love, given how your worried about the child you and grandmother made. Even if no love went into the child's birthing, you're already developing parental love rather quickly."

“Well…at least being a decent person didn’t stop me from knowing how to actually love…” I sighed, at least glad to hear that.

It was a long walk and after twenty, yes, twenty secret passageways and doors later we arrived in a hallway lit by glowing stones where on tables, racks and in locked cases were various items, armors, weapons and other such oddities. "Well, this is it, the Forbidden Armory." Cadence said.

“Damn.” I blinked, looking over all the item’s. “I…saw some of these back home, but I don’t know a lot of the other things…”

"Some of these items are from fallen enemies of the wars, some are of Equestrian Origin… others seem to have come from… elsewhere." Cadence said as I looked around.

“That’s…interesting.” I said, looking through the many many items in question. “Jeez…these are really old.”

"Many come from the early years." Cadence said.

I picked up a small sheathed knife. It looked fairly ordinary… until I unsheathed it. The knife was made of pure darkness. A darkness that felt opposed to the… everything around it. As if it was meant to kill not just living things but anything that existed alive or not. I quickly re sheathed it.

“Not bringing that out again.” I frowned, putting that away in a very safe spot.

The next item I picked up was a book, leather bound in some unknown animal hide. Opening it, the pages were blank, and also seemed to be made from some kind of leather. Soon the pages began to form symbols and words and displayed images of turning flesh and bone into weapons by binding a soul to them, making them indestructible as a result while effectively stealing life force from all around.

I closed it, feeling a chill as I swear the book seemed… unpleased, that I closed it…

“Yeah yeah, if I want to go back into Necromancy I’d go back to something a little more pleasant to talk to.” I huffed to the book and put it away.

The next item was a small cage housing a skull. I picked it up, not seeing anything abnormal… til the skull jumped at the bars, mindlessly trying to chew through the metal.

“Oi!” I brought out a rolled up newspaper and lightly popped the thing. “No, bad Skull.” I huffed. “No chewing through the cage.”

It bit onto the paper and began rapidly eating it.

"That skull was found on an expedition far west of here. According to my mother's notes, it has no necromantic properties yet will devour all of anything organic it can bite into. The team that found it was ten. Three being Stick Figures like yourself… only one came back and they were missing an arm and half their face." Cadence said.

“That…sounds like a Doctor Who reference…but I don’t remember what exactly…” I frowned, thinking for a bit. “And this thing is indestructible or something?”

"Auntie herself tried and failed. Whatever it is it's not easily or capable of being damaged and seems to endlessly hunger for life despite having no organs. Still, it's a concern."

Well, IQ did say there were several of those dimensions in me. Maybe one is like a dungeon or prison or something?

“Right…” I said, while trying to focus and send this thing into a prison dimension to stay there for eternity.

The next item was what appeared to be a mirror. Looking into it, my reflection was quickly changed to… home? But… this isn't right… home might be chaotic but… this is… Madness.

Smoke filled the air, fires and riots, Monsters I've seen here on Equestria all over the place.

“That’s…that’s not right.” I shook my head. “There’s plenty of strong stick figures that could handle all of this shit and calm it down…what are the Guild’s doing?” I frowned.

To my surprise the mirror changed to a view of them… the guild HQ's were in ruins and the high ranking members were all in chains and prison cells… who the heck…

“What…who the hell could beat some of the strongest around?” I asked in honest shock, trying to find out what the hell caused this. “Who…would cause this much destruction?”

The mirror changed again, now showing me… Faust?!

… She was sitting in my house… playing my PlayStation… and eating my Pizza Pockets!

“Bitch!” I shouted. “World’s going to hell but she’s in my house, playing my games and eating my food!? The fuck!”

I pocketed the Scrying Mirror. That will come in handy later down the road.

The next item was another book. This one looked fairly normal at least. Opening it I was met by formulas and equations that went WAY over my head… actually… looking at this it might just be one formula or equation that seems to span across every page. Top to bottom, front and back.

“Alright, what equation is this?” I frowned.

"I don't know per say. Mother's diary said the wizard she tasked with studying it told her he was getting close to understanding what it's for but a few days later vanished without a trace. All that was in his quarters was the book, an odd mark on the ground and distinct lack of magic in the area for several weeks."

“Huh…either this absorbed all the magic to make him disappear, or it’s an antimagic equation…” I hummed. “What was the mark he made on the ground?”

"It was like a scotch mark but a pale yellow white, almost like a bleach stain but in stone."

“Hmm…” I hummed, trying to figure out what this weird equation was as I flipped through more and more pages.

After a while I sighed, figuring this was not going to be something I'll be figuring out right now and put it away.

The next item was a mace. Picking it up it was incredibly lightweight. Felt more like a stick than a mace. As I gave it a swing I noticed the gravity in the area shift and such.

“Gravity Mace huh? Cool.” I said with a smile.

I spent the rest of the time storing away all kinds of odds and ends. Some were cool. Others were quite Eldritch.

By the time I got to the last, and most interesting Item I think I counted a total of about two hundred items so far.

The final item was in a long, corrupted mythril chest bound by what seemed to be Adamantium chains.

“So…what nonsense is this?” I inquired.

"Mother's diary didn't say much about this item. Just that should it find its way Into any creatures use, that the war would be the least of Equestria's problems."

“Right then.” I said while shoving that thing straight into its new home for as long as I’m still alive. “Not gonna open that ever if it’s that bad.”

"Well, that was everything. I believe around now Grandmother should have given birth."

“Can’t wait to see my kid…and also I just remembered Crystal Wing is still here my dimensional world…”

"So that's where she went… is she safe?"

“As far as I know…she’s probably getting drunk off her ass.” I said, digging into my pocket dimension and trying to find my fellow orphan.

I pulled out two empty beer bottles and… a handful of bubbles? They smelled… fruity.

“Yeah, she’s probably drunk.” I sighed. “Goodie…let’s go see my kid.”

I went back down to the library and found a… mare. She was pale white with pale gray mane… no cutie mark but she was holding a small baby wrapped in a pink blanket. A Stick Figure baby, and IQ was looking rather tired all of a sudden, and still reading a book.

“Hey.” I said softly. “How…did everything go?”

“As usual.” IQ said.

“Did you already name them?” I asked, gently walking over to my kid and wondered if the pink blanket meant it was a daughter, or if it was the only blanket on hand.

“Nope.”

“Alright.” I nodded. “And what’s your name?” I inquired to the mare.

She didn’t answer, just looked at me with a blank look as she still held the baby.

“She’s the constructed nanny. All she knows how to do is take care of the baby. She can’t speak.”

“Alright…” I nodded, gently looking at my new kid to see what they looked like.

They looked mostly like me. My color with IQ’s hair it seems given they have a small patch of black hair on their head.

“They look so cute.” I smiled softly, gently taking my kid from the nanny, cradling them and…feeling both an overwhelming sense of joy at holding my own child…but it was followed by sadness knowing they weren’t going to have a mother…that I was mostly by myself besides Sombra and maybe someone else if they cared enough.

I looked back at the Nanny, who was still eying me with a blank look but looked more… concerned. Hmm…

“My names Simon, and…I’m their father.” I said softly to the Nanny, remembering that IQ did say that they were capable of getting their own personality with time.

Still nothing. I guess she needs to learn stuff.

“Now, is my kid a boy or a girl?”

“Girl.” IQ said.

“Cool.” I nodded. “But mind if I ask a few things about what I was grabbing in the ‘Forbidden Armory’?”

“Sure.”

“So…first question, what the hell is that weird equation that takes up an entire book?”

“That would be the equation for trans dimensional ascension. It is meant to evolve a person from one stage of existence to the next body and soul, going around death.”

“Huh…that’s interesting.” I said. “Next…what was the weird caged skull for?”

“That is some leftover piece from a long dead cult or something.”

“When in the world did you grab the Necronomicon?” I inquired.

“That is not a necronomicon, that is an Abyssal Tomb. It contains Eldritch magic, not necromantic magic. There is a difference.”

“So it’s sentient because of that stuff, got it.” I nodded. “Haven’t used any Eldritch stuff in a while…so what the heck is inside the box?”

“What box?”

“The corrupted mythril chest covered in adamantium chains.” I brought up.

“Don’t know.” She said.

“Right then…” I said. “So…also apparently, home is being burned to the ground…”

“What else is new?”

“Do you know who Faust is? Cause I think she’s the one burning it down.” I answered.

“That was… Celestia and Luna’s mom. So, she snapped?”

“Don’t know, she’s the one that sent me here.” I shrugged. “Was she fighting someone before getting sent to our world?”

“Yes.”

“Then…maybe there was some portal fuckery?” I asked nervously. “All I know, is that she’s in my house, playing my video games, and eating my food…and I’m kinda annoyed by all of that.”

“So when is this my problem exactly?” IQ asked.

“I mean…” I was going to say ‘permadeath’, but that would make it sound like a positive for this whore. “It could destroy everything you actually care about? What little that is.”

“Ha! So you’re gonna commit… probably two counts of genocide, kill off maybe a forth of Stick and Equestrian populations and your own daughter?” I stepped back at that. “Just because I abandon them now doesn’t mean I never cared for them. Even if I don’t show it, I care… I just can’t deal with the… outliving part. Not anymore…”

“Alright…” I sighed. “But…onto a less depressing thing, what in the world was that dagger I found? That pitch black blade?”

“Void Dagger. I recommend using that on rare occasions. That thing can kill a sun, planet and ect in one hit.”

“Outstanding.” I said. “Now…onto an important bit, as to naming our girl and the Nanny cause I…tend to have trouble with naming stuff.” I said sheepishly.

“Your girl, your nanny.” IQ corrected me. “Want parental help. Or just help in general on anything, ask Hazard.”

“And…who’s that?” I asked, trying to think of a proper name for the both of them.

“Well, you already met Toxic and Instinct. He is our fourth member of our cursed existence of immortality.”

“And…how many of you are there in that special roguelike you call a soul?”

“Just… us four.” She said.

“Reason for the hesitation?” I asked carefully. “Or is it just something I really shouldn’t know?”

“You’re best off not knowing a lot of things.” She stated with a shrug.

“Right then.” I nodded. “So…planning on revolutionizing the planet or something?”

“Meh. I give them the information and they decide if or when to use it.” She shrugged.

“Fair enough.” I nodded, hearing my daughter make some light cooing noises, as I looked down to see she had two different eye colors, her right eye my brown eye and her left a sapphire eye from IQ. “And…I came up with a name for her…her name’s Dawn.”

To be continued...

Intermission X

“That’s…so sad…” Rarity said sadly. “But…a beautiful name for a beautiful baby girl…I will admit.”

“Is anyone gonna stop Twilight?” Rainbow asked, the Purple alicorn in question was actually, to the room's surprise, strangling her former mentor.

“Given how much she’s a bookworm, maybe give it a few more minutes.” Discord commented.

“I agree.” Luna added. “I never shared Tia’s desire to withhold all that information.”

“Then none of you understand a majority of the dangers to it.” Celestia countered as she suddenly tripping up Twilight and putting her in a headlock. “I know your upset my student, but trying to strangle an immortal doesn’t solve anything.”

“Why did you withhold the information anyway?” Pinkie inquired.

“Because if it got into the wrong hands, like a greedy noble with too many thought’s of grandeur, they could stupidly press a button and terraform the entire planet.” Celestia stated bluntly.

“But…not all of it…could be bad right?” Twilight brought up, thankful Celestia was being merciful in the headlock, but still upset that she hid all this knowledge away.

“Oh easily.” Luna said. “There are schematics on actually creating planets, suns, moons and solar systems that all self operate. That’s not to mention the space distortion technology. It would allow Canterot to house the entire planet’s population within a special set of walls that turn the pocket dimension it creates into a dimension with it’s own planet and methods of genetically modifying plants to be immune to all disease and pests, even serums and machines that can make the average pony lifespan basically sextupple before age of wear and tear from time begin to finally take in.” As Luna went on Celestia was thankful her link to her sun gave her immunity to heat and fire… as Twilight was now on fire… “And that’s just on the science side of things. Her magic theories, spells and matrixes gave Starswirl wet dreams for years.”

“That all sounds really cool.” Rainbow said.

“But to have mastery over life and death like that isn’t right.” Celestia stated. “And no, having the power to literally create solar system’s is way too strong for any mortal to not go completely insane with.”

“So point for Celestia for pointing out that Mortal’s are completely insane when it comes to unfathomable power.” Discord said while bringing out a white board and putting down a tally for Celestia. “But Luna also has a point that half of what IQ wanted to bring would have solved a lot of issues, so point for Luna.” Discord said as he put a tally mark for Luna.

“Plus, it’s not like Immortals are responsible with such power either.” Luna said. “My Nightmare Moon event, Discord in general, Tirek. I will agree with Tia that power can corrupt but there is a reason why, true, unchecked power brings out the true nature of a being. And not always do said beings recognize the damage their actions cause.”

“So where is all this info then?” Applejack asked.

“Locked away in the one place Celestia knows the greedy, or Twilight, will never find it.” Luna said.

“And believe me,” Celestia started, as she lightly jabbed Twilight in a hyper specific spot on her left shoulder as her fire suddenly sputtered out, but the purple alicorn stayed conscious. “It was very difficult to make sure Twilight couldn’t find it.”

“Whoa whoa, how did you do that?” Rainbow asked in surprise.

“Pressure Points dear Rainbow, there are many that aren’t just the physical, but are connected to magic centers without causing build ups or stress.” The sun alicorn explained casually.

“Found it!” The whole room turned to see Pinkie bounding along with a red pull waggon packed nearly ten feet high with magically preserved notebooks.

“How?!” Celestia asked.

“Oh, it was easy, I just thought to myself ‘what’s a place some greedy nasty ponies or a book hungry Twilight would never look’ and then I realize, somewhere obvious yet sane enough to work. And I thought “Ah! I know!’ and bounced off to see if I was right and I was. Celestia hid it all under her mattress.”

The room was… silent…

“You hid all that under your mattress?!” Twilight yelled incredulously.

“It was Discord’s idea.” Celestia accused.

“What can I say? Best hiding place in the world, so blatantly obvious that everyone would overlook it, but close enough to know for a fact it’ll stay safe.” Discord shrugged. “Besides, you’d be amazed how fussy she get’s looking over it all, one time she was so overworked trying to find all the positives and negatives about a certain schematic it looked like her room was the inside of a feather pillow.”

“Oh shush you.” Celestia pouted. “It was one time…and the weather in Canterlot was atrocious, always messes with my wing’s….”

“Preach…” Rainbow and Fluttershy groaned at their own misfortunes with molting and the weather for their wings.

“So how do you decide what and when to have some of this stuff go public?” Applejack asked.

“A very comple-”

“Usually Tia will try and build or work it herself then if it works she’ll hire a random pony to play the ‘inventor’ and take the credit.” Luna said.

“Woah, so this stuff and all is basically a conspiracy?” Rainbow asked.

“Oh yes, big time.” Luna nodded, earning a death glare from Celestia. “What? In case you forget Honesty was one of the elements I held when we beared them.”

“And I had Generosity, so why shouldn’t I let our ponies take credit that I, or you, seriously don’t need when they already see us as gods?” Celestia frowned.

“In case you forget that’s how Blueblood got his ego, given his grandfather ‘invented’ the modern arcania navigation compass and he and his father before him have been riding that credit and fame ever since…” Luna said. “Most of the noble houses are in the same boat.”

“Even mine?” Twilight asked.

“No, actually your family largely descended from guards and teachers so your family is one of the few not in the conspiracy.” Luna stated.

“I thought it was a good thing for them, they’re family lineage were some of the best navigator’s of all time, and…well, his grandfather was going through a massive slump…” She sighed. “I just wish his parents didn’t ruin his life…little Blue was such an adorably adventurous foal….” She shook her head. “He honestly reminds me of that little Pipsqueak you mention sometimes Luna, all about traveling the sea’s.”

“Yes and I’d appreciate it of your left him out of your ‘list’ of ponies you plan to have take credit for advancing Equestria in whatever way might be or is needed for the time being.” Luna huffed.

“How long is the list?” Pinkie asked.

“Not that long but still.” Luna said.

“Equestrian development of technology and magic all being based on lies aside, does anypony wanna talk about the fact IQ is apparently Cadence’s grandmother?” Fluttershy asked.

“I was actually hoping to forget that…” Twilight huffed.

"IQ used to be such a sweetheart…” Celestia sighed out. “We thought, once Amore was born, gifted by the Crystal Heart…maybe IQ wouldn’t be hurt again…but then the Umbrum showed up…”

"What happened there?" Rarity asked.

“Year’s after Cadence was born…the Umbrum…killed Cadence’s mother, shattering her into thousands of pieces and scattering them throughout the frozen north…then me and Luna banished them all-”

“You mean damn near slaughtered them all.” Luna corrected.

“Banished, we didn’t kill a single one Luna.” Celestia glared. “The point is…we couldn’t find all her pieces, and even with IQ’s help…we sadly couldn’t find many…” She shook her head bitterly.

"Then we went into their prison and damn near killed them all." Luna said. "Sombra is likely one of maybe a few or possibly the only Umbrum left in existence."

"Wait, so is Cadence like, a thousand years old?" Pinkie asked.

"Well, no…" Luna said. "Actually a Safety spell IQ made that Amore cast on her saved Cadence. Back when Sombra went mad after the Stick People initially vanished, his love included, the spell activated and displaced Cadence forewords in time to a safe time and place. That ended up being a village in the backwoods of Equestria. The town raised her and she earned her horn after stopping a witch from taking away love from the area after her own rather harsh heartbreak."

“It was risky, given how Time is very finicky, even for someone like IQ and her creations…but thankfully it worked out in the end.” Celestia pointed out.

"IQ literally invented a time/space machine and showed us the Big Bang and the death of the universe. At this point I trust anything and everything she makes." Luna said.

"Ditto." Discord added.

“Then…why couldn’t she make people Ageless?” Twilight inquired. “She’s broken because Time took her family away from her…but couldn’t she have done that if she could do literally everything else?”

"... For the same reason Tia and I are grateful we can die… eventually, you have enough… and a… way out, Is a kindness. IQ has no such way out and even if she did make her family ageless, or immortal like her… I wouldn't wish true endless life on anyone."

"Even I can die, a nifty little exit clause for myself should a day come when even I get tired of life." Discord said. "Having no way out in the end just means no matter what, you'll end up on a dead planet, followed by a dead universe with only the empty void of nothing to fill your view."

“O-oh…” Twilight said nervously. “That’s…terrible…”

"Yes. Makes me wonder how they deal with it." Discord said.

"Ah! We don't talk about those beings Discord. Stars above grant us mercy should they visit because you accidentally invoke them." Luna said.

“Who are you talking about?” Twilight asked, honestly worried about how fast Luna was to try and stop Discord from talking about someone.

"Much like this information, you will never know Twilight." Celestia said using her horn and levitating all the notebooks up. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to find a new hiding place for all this."

“But…but knowledge~.” Twilight winded, lightly pawing at Celestia’s hooves like a needy puppy as her friend’s laughed at the display.

“No means no Twilight.” Celestia said as she headed off to find a better spot as Twilight had to be held back by Luna before she stayed next to her sister like a lost puppy wanting treats. “A lot of this still needs to be looked over, and not get out of control…”

To be continued...

Stick goes to Amberdoven

“This still sucks…” I groaned, lightly cradling Dawn in my arms as I finally got them to fall back to sleep, even if I had a nanny here to help, I would be damned if I didn’t act like an actual god damn parent. “So…sleepy…” I yawned, now knowing why people told me ‘training is difficult, but being a parent is so much harder’.

As sleep was near claiming me I suddenly had some hot, but not too hot, mashed potatoes shoved into my mouth. "You better visit her regularly if you expect me to babysit her while you're away." Sombra huffed.

I brought Dawn and the pony nanny construction with me here… as well as accidentally bringing Cadence.

"I can't believe you're still alive- I can't believe you're living less than ten miles from the empire!" Cadence yelled at the shadow pony.

"And I can't believe you're Amore's daughter and I.Q.'s granddaughter yet here we are." Sombra countered.

I hummed blissfully from the mouthful of mashed potatoes. “Well…a lot of things are happening…” I said. “And also I am going to…even with a nanny babies shouldn’t go on dangerous adventures…”

"No shit." Sombra said with an eye roll.

"So you're not gonna try and attack the Empire again right?" Cadence asked.

"No. At this point I'm content to stay out here alone and eventually die, bringing the Umbrum race into extinction." He answered.

“That’s depressing.” I frowned. “We really shouldn’t let you just stay here and effectively die in a hole.” I frowned.

"It's a nice hole all things considered." Sombra shrugged.

"Despite the… atrocities and countless war crimes you and your people did, it really wouldn't be right to just let you go extinct." Cadence said.

“Especially when all his crimes are based on the fact that he…lost the love of his life, and not knowing if she’s still alive.” I said honestly. “I…honestly don’t know the time difference between our worlds, but I’m still sure the lady’s still alive somewhere…”

"I'm doubtful." Sombra said.

"And that doesn't excuse his crimes either. That's like saying it's okay to murder just because you're mad someone cut you in line or took the last cupcake at a store." Cadence added.

"And I did in fact murder a LOT of ponies." Sombra commented.

“I know I know…” I sighed. “This is still a very weird situation…” I sighed. “He still has a lot of things to atone for, but dying in a whole leading to the extinction of a race is not good.”

"And I don't plan on screwing anyone." Sombra added.

"You loved her a lot." Cadence noted. "Understandable."

“Because magic is clearly very different in this world, isn’t there a way to…see if someone’s still alive? Like with your magic Cadence?” I inquired, thinking about the many ‘love transcends’ nonsense I’ve read about a lot of the time.

"It doesn't work like that Simon. I can tell how much two or more individuals love one another but I can't use it to tell if they're still alive or even where they are."

“That’s fair.” I nodded. “I suppose the whole ‘love transcends’ talk is more so for dramatic flair.” I shrugged.

"So, where are you going next?" Sombra asked.

“Not entirely sure, but I have thought about where the portal’s have been opening up.” I said. “And the fact I’ve heard some stuff about a Thestral Village, I might as well check there…wherever this Thestral Village is.”

"Well, to be blunt, Thestrals are akin to Pegasi. Same magic and such but with bat-like wings, eyes and such. Unlike regular ponies they can and usually do eat meat and have a night vision that allows them to see as well even in a moonless night or lightless cave as if it were daytime. As a result they are typically nocturnal if they live outside their subterranean cities."

“Alright, so bat ponies.” I nodded. ”Might as well head to their town and see if they’re experiencing any nonsense with the portals.”

"Try not to call them Bat ponies. They consider it a racial slur." Sombra informed.

"Fair." I shrugged. "So, where would this Thestral Village be?" I inquired.

"The closest one is just past the borders with the Frozen North. Close to Manehattan." Cadence said.

“Cool.” I nodded. “What’s the name of the place?”

"I believe it was called Amberdoven?" Cadence said with some thought.

"I remember it." Sombra said with a nod. "A thousand years ago most of the Empires non-crystal materials were imported from there. Whole cave system is a massive mine."

“Name has probably changed if it’s been that long.” I shrugged. “But I’ll head off soon with the next train…good thing that I have at least some money from all this…”

“Will you be taking I.Q. with you?” Cadence asked.

"Considering she might want to spread the wonders of technology to people, I'll ask if she hasn't immediately gone to Canterlot." I said simply. "Plus, a person that knows where they're going is a good idea."

“Just hope she isn’t increasing the population in the Empire.” Sombra said. “Wouldn’t be the first time her libedo tripled the population.”

"I wouldn't be surprised if she is…" I sighed. "Let's go see if she's having her way or immediately making an industrial revolution…"

I gently put Dawn in her new crib and used the map to Teleport Cadence and I back to the Empire-

The… Fuck?

When I first teleported here I was in the cold cause the stone was just outside the barrier to the empire… Now I’m in it and the Empire has… expanded. The barrier looks like it’s grown an extra… thirty miles.

“We were only gone for a few hours!” Cadence yelped.

The ground below us was already rid of snow, now covered in pavement like back home and it looked like this area was segmented for… houses.

I felt a beep and pulled out something I forgot I even had in my pocket… and was surprised it was working… my cell phone… I have service now?!

"Sick! I have service!" I said happily. "Also how the fuck do I have service!?"

“I built a cell tower.” Cadence and I turned to see I.Q. walking up to us down the road. “Well, I built three just to be safe. They also transmit radio, internet and TV signals from across the multiverse.”

“How? We were only gone for a few hours?” Cadence asked.

“Part of my abilities aren’t just my intelligence, I can also transmutate matter into any form I want. Making the expansions, roads, towers. That was all easy.”

“But how did you expand the barrier?”

“I built that heart. Wasn’t hard to upgrade it.” I.Q. Shrugged.

“I keep forgetting you’re more or less a god or… something.” Cadence sighed.

“I also mass produced better armor and weapons for your guard, gave all your hospitals better medicine, machines and such. Seriously you guys didn’t even have a basic flu shot, fixed some tax errors I noticed in that pile of paperwork in your office, restructured your criminal detentions into a rehabilitation and education center. Also rebuilt your schools and education system cause, Jesus Cadence it’s embarrassing how out of date that material was. I also made your farms into special tower based ones that are as long as a single field but each floor grows a fields worth of food so that’s your food production taken care of. Built a hydro electric station that uses the endless snow outside to produce clean water, steam for energy and such.”

“Did you also make the Empire a democracy?” She asked.

“Heck no. Democracies like many forms of government are all easily corruptible and can be bought or infiltrated easily. No I made a council of elected officials that speak for the different districts and are only paid the minimum as to ensure only those who want to help ponies over make a profit earn the spot and each official can only remain in power ten years max. Every pony gets a vote on the matter and no bullshitters get into the seats of power.”

“So in other words Shining and I are out of a job?”

“Well, you are still the crowned prince and princess but that’s now more a job for public relations. Rather than deal with issues you act as an extra line between the people and the council that works to strengthen relationships and communications between them. Plus Equestria. The Empire is now it’s own independent superpower.”

“... Less work. Sounds fine to me.” Cadence shrugged.

"Cool." I nodded. "So, want to tag along on my adventures and basically do more world fixing?" I inquired.

“I guess.” She shrugged. “Not much use in a fight though. Also.” I.Q. reached into her lab coat and pulled out a notebook and files and gave them to Cadence. “Alright, just follow these instructions and such and the Empire will probably end up lasting for, well, ever.”

With that, I.Q. and I headed to the train station and took a ride.

“So, a thousand years have passed, and we’re going to a Thestral Town near Manehattan, know anything about them?” I inquired.

"Last I heard they were a mining town, but also cultivated special mosses and fish that could only thrive in dark, wet environments."

“Neat.” I nodded. “Since I might as well ask…” I sighed. “What was it like before the war and you all…being shoved in ice? A thousand years ago when our worlds were more…close?”

"Not bad." She said. "While I don't approve of Celestia's Mothering method to her rule, I can understand it. When you love long enough to remember experiences, you know how to avoid them again. Lot of people back home always forget the mistakes of the past, and that ends up doing more harm than good."

“I mean, considering you quite literally want to revolutionize the planet to basically be self-sustaining forever, and probably having ideas for god knows what else, I can see why.” I nodded, though for some reason it felt like someone was saying ‘told you so’ to a few others. “Push too far or fast all at once then thing’s could be a problem…”

"Sadly. I'd rather not repeat Atlantis."

“What happened to that specific one?” I asked.

"Have you not heard the legends?"

“Are we talking about this world’s Atlantis? Cause I barely even know what the hell is in this world.” I said. “I’ve barely been here for a month…but if you’re talking about our world? Then boy howdy is there a lot of talk about what specifically happened to that one…I also added ‘that specific atlantis’ cause of all the movies, mytho’s and all that jazz.”

"I mean back home obviously."

“Right, then there’s been a lot of talk, but it ultimately get’s summed up to ‘someone really fucking stupid did a thing they really shouldn’t have, and it collapsed the entire island to make way for ocean front property’.”

"Not exactly." I.Q. said.

“Then what really happened?” I inquired.

"Sacrifice." She said flatly. "It was… the only nation I and the others took an active part in to rule. When we got there, Atlantis was an island nation no bigger than anywhere else. It had potential but was ruled by a cruel and unforgiving church. We topled them and lead the people into a new age. Taught them advanced mathematics, chemistry. While the wild still used bronze they could forge titanium. The world believed leeches were a cure all while they had vaccines for almost all the illnesses in the world. And while people rode horses, they took to the sky and already launched the first satellite."

“So…what happened?” I asked, honestly intrigued by this but also worried about what might be told.

"We were working on a power source that would make even our own sun obsolete. A self sustaining microverse with it's own galaxies, suns, everything. Within it would house its own universe and raw materials and elements and power. I called it the Generation Machine. It would work by artificially making a big bang in a controlled spatial environment. From there the machine took the raw Particles, formed atoms and then structured those atoms into whatever we needed. Metal, power, water. Heck even live plants and animals so long as we know how their atomic structure was structured it could be created in that machine!"

“This is starting to sound like a Rick and Morty reference.” I said. “I’m sorry for saying that but…I mean, Rick used a Microverse to power his Car…”

"Rick is an idiot for wasting the potential of a whole microverse just to be a battery for a car. That could have made limitless materials. No more drought. No more starvations. If… it had worked."

“What caused it to fail?” I inquired. “Sounds to me like you had everything figured out…unless there was something you didn’t account for?”

"The container." She said. "It wasn't strong enough. Even on a microscopic scale the Big Bang is a hell of an explosion. It got out, expanded outside the container, and collapsed. Atlantis was sucked into it like a black hole. Of course, we survived… but Atlantis, the people, all that good work… all that promise… gone."

“O-oh…” I muttered in horror. “That’s…that’s awful…”

"That was the first and last time we ever tried ruling a place of our own. Or settle down."

“I…can now see why…” I sighed.

"Immortals shouldn't rule. Regardless, and neither should we exist. In a universe where everything is going to die, why aren't we able to?"

“Because you might have a purpose that is more important than mortality?” I inquired. “That you were given a task so fundamentally important to existence that a mortal life isn’t long enough to do it? I mean, come on, you’re a being that shares multiple soul’s in a reincarnation cycle with outlandish powers even by Stick Figure standards. Matter Manipulation and an IQ so great that you can literally create Micro-Verses if you wanted, a Fighter that is…pretty much without equal, a being that can create any kind of energy they want…and this fourth mystery person?”

"Captain. Or Hazard. He's more or less a middle ground between Toxic, Instinct and I. He can technically use all our ability but to a lesser extent. He doesn't like fighting and prefers to just start up farms whenever he takes over."

“What about this mystery person you really don’t want to talk about?” I inquired. “Cause you seemed very adamant to not talk about them as if the mere mention was able to start something bad.”

"Hm… can't tell you." I.Q. said plainly.

“Ya see, when you say that, it makes me think you’re soul is bound to something than just the hotel that is your body.” I frowned.

"I can't tell you because I don't know. Only Hazard knows anything about them. All he's told us about it is that it's best the don't come out." She said with a shrug.

“That’s…not concerning at all.” I frowned. “Just a part of your soul you really don’t want to ever come out…”

She shrugged. "I don't know anything about it. Like I said, I only know what Hazard tells me, and that's not much."

“Fair enough.” I nodded. “A mystery for another time…” I sighed.

"So, wanna Fuck again?" I nearly fell off my seat. "It's gonna be a couple hours til we get there."

“I mean…” I blushed brightly. “How can you just…say that so casually after everything?”

"Easy. It's a long trip, we got a few hours and I'm bored." She shrugged.

I sighed, completely ignoring the parts where this actually hurt me emotionally, especially when it involves me getting a kid…but damn it was I not thinking about doing it again. “Fine…but let’s try not to make another kid cause…I’m still trying to process a lot from our first time…’

"Fine. We'll stick to the other holes then."

After a… rather fetish revealing few rounds where I learned I.Q. will do just about anything and everything and I had a few new… likes discovered we were a short while away from the station.

I was sore and resting, I.Q. opened windows to get the… musk smell out of the cart.

When we arrived I was glad it wasn't freezing. Maybe a slight chill but nothing I can't muscle through and I began looking around for that underground City Entrance.

"From what I remember it was around here somewhere." I.Q. said, taking the lead as I limped behind her.

“Thought it would have been in a forest?” I brought up. “Hmm, maybe I’m thinking of a different town?”

"Probably a different town. Besides, Amberdoven has always been underground. The entrance is a fairly large cave opening. I remember it had a stairway down too."

"Neat." I nodded, helping search for the entrance. "Any specific markings I should be looking for as well?"

"Not really, just a big stone hole." She said.

"Alright." I nodded, searching for the mystical hole to Thestral Land.

As I was walking around I felt something fall and hit my head… is that… a mango seed?

Ouch!

Another one fell and hit me on my head, looking up I spotted the source. She was a very dark blue with basically pitch black leathery bat wings and slit lapis blue eyes with a lighter blue mane.

A Thestrial, I figured.

She was sitting in the tree top eating one mango after another from a rather large basket.

"Hi there." I said to the Thestral lady.

She looked over and down at me. Likely just now noticing me. She ate her mango with a greed and gusto akin to that of someone possessed before tossing the seat down near, and thankfully not at, me. "Hi." She said plainly, picking up another mango.

"How are you doing today?" I asked politely.

She ate another mango before answering. "Okay." She replied.

"That's good, do you know where the cave to Amberdoven is?" I asked.

"Why should I tell you?" She asked, starting yet another mango.

"Cause I want to see what a Thestral town looks like, and also see if anyone like me is there."

"Why?"

I blinked. "I…literally told you why…"

She ate another mango. "Why did you tell me?"

“Because you asked why you should tell me where the cave entrance is?” I asked.

"Did I?" She asked, tossing another mango seed she picked clean and picked up yet another mango from the box nearby.

I gave her a deadpan look. “Really? Doing that crap?”

"Doing what?" She asked, munching on her mango. "Who are you?"

“My names Simon, and you doing a ‘did I say that’ joke.” I frowned. “But what’s your name?”

She munched on her mango first, finishing it and tossing the seed. "Peanut." She said, picking up- how many mangoes is she gonna eat?!

“How many mangoes are you going to eat?” I asked incredulously.

"As many as I want." She said with a happy tune in her voice as she bit into her next mango. "Bro bro says as long as I'm up here I get all the mangos I want." She said happily.

“And…where would this ‘Bro’ be?” I inquired.

"Who's bro?" She asked. Is… is she stupid or fucking with me? "I know a Bro Bro." … Stupid…

“Holy shit…” I grumbled. “Is there anyone else here?” I called out, hoping there was someone that could answer my questions.

I was greeted by silence.

With a groan I looked back up at the stupid, admirably kinda adorable Thestrial mare as she ate more mangos.

“Alright, who is this ‘Bro Bro’ person.” I frowned, hoping to actually get an answer.

"Hm? Bro Bro is my Big Baby Brother!" She declared. "He runs the mines and big machines and bosses all the other ponies around and give me mangos for staying as far away from him while he works as physically possible."

I can see why… this mare in any work zone is probably a catastrophe waiting to happen.

“Right then.” I nodded. “Can you tell me where he is? I promise I’ll be careful around his work.”

"Bro Bro is in the mines silly." She giggled as she ate and finished another mango in one bite. She reached into the box for another only to turn and look inside. "Oh phewy. No more mangos…" She then slumped… slid to the side… and free fell into a hard thud on the ground with her skull Somehow cracking a rock in the ground in three. She was still conscious, didn't seem in pain, and mostly just looked upset her… snacks were gone.

“Well…” I started, walking over and gently checking to see if she was alright. “Mind showing me where the Mines are? I’m new around here so I don’t know where it is.”

"Hmm." She said from her pillow of cracked stone. "I donno. Bro Bro doesn't like it when I show up at the mines while it's all working. Last time.my tail got caught in some gears and my butt broke his fancy new digger…"

I'm not even gonna question how if any of that is true…

“Alright…can you point me in the right direction?” I asked, at this point just mindlessly giving this adorable mare some ear scritches.

"Eeep!" She yelped, sitting back up. "Pervert!"

What?!

"Bro Bro!" She yelled as she flew off.

Crap I can't lose her otherwise I'll never find this damn cave!

I immediately chased after her.

“Why do I get myself into these situations…” I whined, following after the Thestral swiftly even through the forest. “I’m sorry! I didn’t know okay?”

I followed the whaling mare into a huge cave opening halfway in the ground, an old stairway going down into the darkness.

I rapidly equipped some Perfect Night vision glasses I had for such… occasions…

Woah…

When the light no longer touched the stone it looked far more well kept, elegantly carved and cared for with so many symbols and carvings of figures and weapons and… woah.

As much as I wanted to stay and admire the Architecture I kept following Peanut. I passed many confused and annoyed Theatricals til- Holy this!

The metal and stone were merged into a subterranean empire of steel, stone and darkness.

Thestrials are basically dwarves?!

"Bro Bro!!!" I heart Peanut scream in the distance.

I followed until I finally caught up, seeing her wrapped around the hoof… the HOOF of a Thestrial stallion easily three stories tall!

"Peanut?!" He bellowed. "What did I tell you about coming down while the mine is in operation?! Last time you showed up yet damn tail got caught in the gears of the Steam Drill and your fat ass actually clogged the exhaust pipe causing it to explode!" Huh, that did happen…

"But Bro Bro! He scratched my ears!" She pointed a hoof at me while crying.

"Oh fer Luna sake…" He growled, looking over at me. He reached a wing into his massive saddle bags and poured some Mangos on the ground.

Peanut sniffed, then jumped onto the pile of the fruit, her sadness completely forgotten as the large Thestrial walked over to me. "You the one she was mad at?" He asked.

"Mind if I get an explanation before we start this because as you can clearly see," I motioned to all of me. "I'm new and barely know things about your race."

"Right. Well, you didn't actually do anything bad. Ear scratches aren't a bad thing for us or any creature, it's mostly a sign of affection from family or lovers but Pa was real worried about Peanut so he taught her to always scream and fly away should somepony do that or, touch other parts of her, just to be safe. She's a sweet, stupid filly but she's family so I just try and make her life a little easier. Just wish she wasn't born so thick skulled. Literally, Doc's took an X-ray of her skull, it's seven times thicker and denser than a normal ponies. Squishing her brain, hence her… stupid."

"I did notice that when she crushed a rock with her skull after running out of Mangoes." I nodded. "And…well, I did the ear scratches thing because she's just adorable…"

"Heh. I'll give you that, I just worry to death about her. It's a miracle she's lived this long with all the accidents she gets into. Buried alive, napped in an incinerator, bathed in the boilers, ate glass thinking she'd poop it back into sand, more hits to the head than even a pony with her skull should have survived, drank dish soap, the list goes on…"

"Well…sounds like she was born with an unnatural amount of durability…" I said carefully. "Is she gifted at anything or is she just accident prone?"

"Gifted is the only word not used to describe her. Every job she's ever had she broke, set on fire, ate or didn't follow instructions so she ended up jobless and has been for the last ten years."

"Yeesh, that is quite a record." I said nervously.

"Hence why I give her a box of mangos and tell her to stay topside to keep herself and the workplace safe." He informed.

"That is the correct course of action." I nodded. "Name's Simon."

"Coal Stone." He nodded back. "So, what brings an odd creature like yourself into our underground City?"

"Wanted to see the Thestrals in person, and wondered if there was any beings like me around here, a Stick Figure if you've heard of them." I answered.

"No, so far you're the only one of your kind here." He explained.

"Interesting." I nodded. "I was originally looking for the entrance to the city with a…friend of mine, now is this just a mine near the town or is this the actual entrance to the town?"

"Bit of both. Town started as just a small colony. Mine came later. Gems, ore, ECT, just never stopped. Thousand years later we're still digging. Still selling. Still growing." He said.

"That's pretty cool." I nodded. "Mind if I go find my friend and bring her here? I'm sure you'd be happy to know she can upgrade your mining gear."

"If it means some repairs on our machines, sure. Most of these old drills are being held together by hopes and prayers. Duct tape and chewing gum ran out after a while."

"Yeah, she'll help out a lot." I nodded.

I rushed back to find I.Q. once I did I brought her to Coal Stone and she began repairing/upgrading stuff. I took this opportunity to look around their city. I didn't have anything in mind really but I was hoping to eventually get maybe some more weapons or something.

“Even if I have every weapon under the sun with every enchantment I could get my hands on…you never know if there’s something new…” I chuckled to myself

I looked through the various window shops and saw some neat items. To my surprise I found what looked like a dojo.

“Oh thank you.” I sighed out happily, missing the feeling of being in a Dojo as I walked into the place.

Entering the Dojo, I was greeted by a mostly metal room with a stone floor. Old scuffs and scratches in the metal and rock told me this place had seen some use over the years. An old Thestrial stallion, maybe I'm his early fifties, sat in the center of it all, using the small hooks on his wings to knit something.

“Hello?” I asked. “I’m looking for the Master of this Dojo…” I said, even though I was pretty sure it was the old Thestral.

"That would be me." He said plainly.

“It is a pleasure to meet you Master.” I bowed politely to the stallion.

"No need for that here. I haven't been a Master for some time."

“It’s still good to show respect to someone that has become a Master, even if they haven’t been through the title alone.” I said, standing up straight. “My names Simon.”

"Kabu." He said simply as he kept up the knitting. "What brings a creature like yourself here?"

“I was looking around, seeing what a Thestral Town looks like, as well as seeing if there was anyone like me here.” I said. “But…given this is a Dojo, I would be honored to know what fighting style you taught here.”

"What I taught isn't something that can be learned without the Gift of Darkness." He informed. "Something in recent generations seems to have faded into endangerment."

“Well, I think I have what you’re looking for.” I said, bringing out a naginata looking sheath, but I brought out two Darkness Kodachi. “Cause where I’m from, I’ve been training with anything and everything…but considering how different this world is compared to mine, I’m willing to learn.”

"Without the Gift of Darkness nothing I teach you will be of use to you." He informed. "It is not something that can be learned but must be born with."

“Hmm…you’re talking about manipulating darkness as a biological trait?” I inquired, gently moving my twin Kodachi’s in small practice motions, seeing that the blades still worked as some of the shadow’s around me were swaying with the motions of my light, yoga esc motions.

"Yes. In truth it is a gift rarely seen in each generation, but it seems there are none in the current."

“Hmm…now I have to wonder if that’s because of a natural occurrence, if there’s something to do with this Princess Luna I keep hearing about.” I said simply, continuing with a light exercise even though the Stallion was still knitting.

"Doubtful. The current generation old enough to show signs were born well before her return. All born after are not even a year yet. Far too young to develop signs of the Gift of Darkness."

“That’s fair.” I shrugged. “But I still know how to wield the Darkness, even if I can’t naturally do it, seeing a true master in action can help teach me how to use it better.”

"Many like you have tried. Bringing enchanted tools and weapons of power that could, yes, allow one to control the Darkness and Shadows but never understand them as we with the gift can."

“Then please, Master Kabu,” I said, pointing one of my Kodachi towards the Thestral as the shadow’s writhed a bit. “Show me what true understanding of the Shadow’s means.” I said, genuinely wanting to learn the strength of a Master of Shadows, someone born with the power, and seeing how far my ‘mastery’ has gotten me.

"I can not show you a bond that can not be explained. It would be like asking one to explain to another a sense they asked lacks. One can not fully describe something that one was born without in a way that they can understand."

“Then let’s spar.” I answered. “When all words fail, when even a demonstration on the sidelines can’t do it justice, a fight to show the true depths of your spirit can, and always has, been enough to show what we truly mean.” I explained.

Kabu took a long sigh. He placed his knitting project aside. "You are a stubborn creature."

“I know that I’ll never understand something you were born with.” I said simply. “And you’re teaching might be for said biological abilities, but as someone that wants to become ‘Master of Arms’, I want the experience of learning from a Master…also, to be honest…sparring with you might do a weird thing to me cause this world is especially weird.”

"Very well." He said, standing up to all fours now.

I bowed politely. “Thank you.” I said, getting into my Kodachi-Nito-Ryu stance.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve fought,” The Thestral said, spreading their bat like wings. “So please, don’t fall too fast.” He said, flapping his wing’s down strongly as many of the candles were suddenly snuffed out, the only light in the room being the lone lamp giving barely enough light for the arena.

“Dramatic.” I chuckled, seeing the Thestral blend into the darkness. “And now I see why…” I muttered, leaping to the side as a spike of darkness lashed out behind me.

I stood in the middle, looking around carefully as I caught glimpses of the old Thestral’s eyes, slowly stalking around the shadow’s waiting for a moment to strike. “Ying Yang Cross!” I shouted, giving a cross shaped slash towards where the Thestral was, the Darkness projectile from the blades growing larger and stronger as it left the light towards it’s target.

Two whip like shadow’s blocked the attack, hissing sounds coming from the shadow’s as I took a step back. “Dusk to Dawn Strike!” I shouted, throwing my first Kodachi towards the Thestral, then the second directly behind it, hidden as it gave a boost of speed towards the master.

The first blade was knocked away swiftly, the second one caught by the same tough tentacle like appendages as I grabbed the first and second. “Shadow Light Cross!” I shouted, crossing first blade over the grabbed second, seeing it blocked as I forced the second into a stronger thrust towards the Thestral, only for their eyes to vanish into the cold blackness.

“Talented you are, but you still haven’t shown me what you can do.” Kabu said. “Jet Black Needles!” He shouted, stomping his hooves as a crap ton of shadow darts rushed towards me.

“Shit!” I yelped, blocking countless darts that were thrown my way. “Shade Wall!” I shouted, swinging one of my Kodachi around as a black wall appeared, blocking many of the attacks. “Right…need to use more Dark powers than just good swordsmanship…” I muttered. “Fright Claw!” I shouted, swinging both blades as the wall turned into a beasts hand that swung sharp and powerful claws towards him.

“Dire Restraint.” He said, putting a hoof down as shadow chains wrapped around the claw and crushed it. “Now you’re using the Darkness, but you still don’t understand the Gift.” He said. “Calamity Grasp!” He shouted, a demonic hand appearing below me.

I yelped as I dodged it’s grab, rolling to the side. “Alright…” I muttered, rolling my shoulders. “Time to get serious…”

I don’t know how long the fight lasted, the two of us sparring more and more as the shadow’s were twisted, turned, and became so many forms…this fight helped me understand what he thought he couldn’t explain, how the Gift of Darkness wasn’t just some Biological portion, but a part of his very being, and I understood that much with how long and hard I’ve trained, but the more I pushed, the more I kept up my attacks…the more something felt different about it all.

“You are…obtaining the Gift…” Kabu muttered in awe, seeing the Shadow’s fluttering around me.

“No…idea how that’s possible…” I panted lightly. “But this…this does feel strange…” I muttered, swaying side to side. “But the Darkness feels…more alive…” I muttered, swinging one of my Kodachi’s at him again, but this time it felt like I was…pulling something along with me, before seeing the shadow’s behind me get thrown at him as well.

The Thestral dodged and kicked me into the Darkness, which I tried to get back up but…something felt different. “Uh…what?” I blinked. “This…feels weird…” I frowned, moving around and feeling…practically weightless in the shadow’s. “Well…this is new.”

“You have…been gaining the Gift through our fight…” The master of shadow’s said in wonder. “Now…I must see what your true strength is! Come!” He declared, snuffing out the final light as I heard his wing’s flair out. “Cimmerian Cataclysm!”

“Kaiten Kenbu Rokuren!” I shouted, switching my Kodachi back-handed as six cross slashes met a maelstrom of…something I couldn’t really tell, only for it to end as all the light’s came back, the entire place looking…weirdly pristine even as I panted. “What…was that?” I asked, putting my swords away and moving my hand, out of the corner of my eye seeing the…shadow’s moving along with it.

"You surprised me, Simon."

“Yeah…I tend to do that…” I panted. “So…what the hell is going on now?”

"The Gift of Darkness. The shadows now acknowledge you as one of them."

“That’s some bullshit if they’re just doing it now.” I huffed, glaring at the shadow’s that now just fucking shrugged at me. “You shrug at me but I spent a month in pitch darkness trying to forge and train with these damn things…” I grumbled, sheathing my two kodachi and putting them away. “Alright…so after that…what’s next?”

"Next comes the hard part." He said. "Now that the shadows acknowledge you as one of them, now you must know the shadows. Their wills and wants."

“And currently their want is to sass me.” I huffed, side stepping a minor swing from the darkness. “It took me three years and getting past my fear of the dark to master you asshole, I’m not gonna be taken down a peg today.” I frowned.

"Give me a moment. This required preparation." Kabu said, taking leave to a nearby door where I peeked in and saw a small kitchen.

"Neat." I said. "Got something in mind for food?"

"Not good. Special brew to know the Shadows. The good, the bad, all sides." He said. It was half an hour later before he gave me a soup of sorts. It was pitch black with a semi hearty broth, and chunks of an unknown also black meat and veggies.

“Well…this looks a bit better than a soup I had to make cause of some Eldritch nonsense I had to deal with…” I muttered, gently picking up the bowl. “So just down it all in one go or what?”

"Once you eat this you will drink this tea." He said, bringing up a tea pot and pouring a cup. The liquid was actually glowing with a dark aura of pure darkness. "Once the soup and the tea are finished your mind will experience the history of Darkness and Shadows. I warn you, when it is over you will not remember everything but what does stick to your memories will reveal your true nature and how the Darkness will work for you. Or, against you."

“Well…” I started. “Mom didn’t raise no quitter.” I said, while starting to eat the soup.

It tasted alright. A bit salty like it had soy sauce and maybe some wine added into the broth.

The tea was strong, bitter and had an earthy taste-

I woke up with a groan. Crap… Crap!

I yelped as I sat back up. I remembered… Monsters. Hatred and jealousy. I remembered a seething wrath festering from before time began…

I also remember… stars. The birth of them and galaxies. New suns and planets forming, new life sprouting up from the single celled things born from the depths of a planets ocean.

"You are awake." I looked to my side, seeing Kabu sitting next to me. "Good. You were asleep for longer than normal, but I figured you'd different species was the reason."

“Well…I can safely say that the soup and tea tasted good, a little salty for the soup but overall pretty good.” I nodded.

"Now tell me, what do you remember from the memories of The Darkness?"

“I think…I saw before…and after Creation was made…” I said nervously. “Like…the Seething Wrath festering before Time Began…but then I saw the Star’s, the birth of them and the Galaxies, each Sun and Planet near them…all life spawning from the first single celled organism…”

"I see. So you saw both sides and remembered both." Kabu said with a nod. "This is good. Very good."

“Yes…” I said. “And it was a trip.”

"Remembering both the good and the bad means you can utilize both the good and bad of the Darkness."

“Cool.” I nodded. “Now…next up is some training into what that means?”

"If you wish. But first, rest more."

“Yeah…” I yawned. “Ugh, that vision quest must have taken more out of me than I thought…”

I spent the night in the Dojo, sleeping on a bed mat and the next morning I began learning with Kabu.

"As you saw, there are two sides to Darkness. The gentle onlooker, and observer, and the aggressive, powerful eternal wrath."

“Yep.” I nodded. “And both are…very terrifying…”

"Yes, and in combat it is equally true." He informed. "Observe." He said, pulling up one of his wings sharp hooks and slicing along his front leg. A deep cut that spilled blood. Almost immediately darkness like shadows wrapped around the injury and after a second retreated and the wound was absent. Only proof it existed was the blood still on his coat. "The healing powers Darkness gifts are rivaled only by the holiest of magics or powerful spells and potions. For some in the old legends it allowed them to even regain limbs and reject death."

“Now that’s cool.” I said with a smile.

"However, this same power is most commonly known to cause harm rather than heal." As he said that a tendril slithered out of his back like a snake, slashing across the nearby stone wall and leaving an effortless cleaving mark before retracting back into him. "A prime example is our sister species, more commonly known as Umbrum."

Umbrum, Sombra? Actually, that makes sense… Sombra is basically like Kabu but with a horn…does that mean there's an earth pony one?

“Uh…question, is there an Earth Pony version of you?” I inquired. “Cause I…know an Umbrum, he’s a Unicorn, Thestrals are Pegasi…so is there an Earth Pony?”

"They were known as the Moon Hoofs. Sadly they are… all gone. Many years ago, shortly after Nightmare Moon was banished many of the Day thriving ponies thought us her abominations. Monsters she left to continue her dark work. We Thestrials hid here, the Umbrum fled far to the north, but the Moon Hooves, sadly, were slaughtered into extinction. Hunted like animals and killed in the cruelest ways possible. Few Umbrum or Thestrials met that fate, but thankfully over time those days passed. Still, we remember, and refuse to forget."

“Oh…that’s…that’s horrible…” I muttered sadly. “I’m sorry you…lost so many…”

"Yes. And with Sombra being the only living Umbrum left, soon all that will be left of the Shadow Ponies will be the Thestrals."

“That’s…very depressing…” I sighed.

"This is the way of life and fate. Some species prevale and others do not. No point on dwelling on the past. It's time to move forward. Now then, let me teach you what I know. At least someone will know this knowledge aside from me in my lifetime." Kabu chuckled.

“I know there will be more Master…maybe I’m not just a special case here, maybe the Shadow’s can help choose other’s if given the chance?” I brought up.

"You are the first I or any master before me has ever seen. While I am doubtful, your case give me slight optimism." He said with a smirk.

“And Optimism gives way to Hope, and Hope can help change the future.” I said happily.

To be continued...

Intermission XI

“An entire race…slaughtered…” Twilight muttered, her cheeks growing a bit green at how sick she was.

“It was…a dark time…” Celestia sighed. “I tried to get word out to not attack the Thestrals, Moon Hooves…and what remained of the Umbrum…but I was too injured after the fight and…sadly everyone took it into their own hooves…” She shook her head.

"It's my fault…" Luna frowned. "I knew they existed and I knew they enjoyed my night but… my greed and jealousy…"

“It’s not your fault.” Celestia gently wrapped a wing around Luna. “We all make mistakes…but it was my fault for not stopping our ponies from…committing such atrocities…”

“So…what’s the difference between them and then Umbrums?” Applejack inquired. “You all said that you fought against Sombra and his kin when the Portals disappeared…but…why the Moon Hooves?”

"Admittedly they were the weaker of the Shadow Pony races." Luna said. "Umbrum had magic, weak only to extreme lights and the Crystal Hearts powers. Thestrals mainly have the disadvantage of bright lights. Even normal sunlight is like staring into the lightbulb of a lighthouse to them. But Moon Hooves were completely vulnerable to sunlight. Even a single ray of it touching their skin was akin to setting it on fire."

"The mobs didn't even need to do much. Just cage them in mass and let the sunrise do the rest." Discord added.

“Th-that’s….horrible…” Pinkie muttered, her hair deflated at the thought of other ponies literally committing genocide because of fear.

“There’s…there’s no justification to Genocide!” Twilight snapped. “I don’t care if it was after the War with Nightmare Moon! This…this is just horrible!”

"Times were very different back then Twilight. The Sticks had only been gone for almost a full generation but the monsters and memories were present and fresh in the memories. The battle with Nightmare Moon sparked talks of war and so soon after the Stick War ended they didn't want to take chances. Creatures do stupid things in the name of fear and with Celestia out of commission at the time the older generations and patriotic young bloods went on the defensive and offensive against anything or anyone considered a threat." Discord said.

“And it was then and there…that I gave all my ponies…the one promise I have given them, that still stands to this day even if no one but the three of us and several other long lived beings remember…” Celestia shuddered slightly, still hating how she let her rage get to her.

“Wh-what was the promise?” Rainbow Dash asked in worry.

“When Dawn Breaks…Everything shall Burn.” Celestia answered vaguely, causing all six ponies, the little dragon, and all the guards plus the three changeling refugee’s, shudder in absolute fear.

Luna looked over at Celestia. "You seriously stole that? And made it a threat?" Luna asked.

“Yes, I did…” Celestia sighed.

"I personally would have gone with the 5000 take but eh, that's just me." Discord shrugged.

“I have personally made sure that that sack of shit stays away from us.” Celestia frowned.

“What are you talking about?” Twilight asked in fear.

"Some of what I.Q. showed us wasn't all amazing… there was so much terrifying and, well let's just say in one reality The Sun betrayed all life on the planet holding life on it."

“It is why…many have told legends of ‘Dawn Breaker’...what would happen if I fell into the same rage and jealousy as Luna to create Nightmare Moon…” Celestia sighed. “It wouldn’t be pretty for any race…”

"Speaking of I.Q. I'm surprised she lost a whole city to one mistake." Applejack spoke up.

“A lot of…terrible things can happen with One Mistake.” Celestia shook her head. “One Mistake created Nightmare Moon, leading to the Genocide of an entire Race for instance.”

"I didn't even know Shadow Pony Tribes existed." Fluttershy spoke up. "Did they evolve alongside ponies or were they split off?"

“They evolved together.” Celestia said. “One for Day, one for Night, to make sure we both had our subjects, and to take care of the land’s around it in days…long since passed…” Celestia sighed. “When monster’s that were naturally born tried to hunt both both day and night walkers, when the Stick Figures were around that could fight whenever and wherever…but as we saw with Master Kabu…the Shadow’s can either be a Peaceful Watcher…or a Spiteful Rage Beast.”

"And the day can be a peaceful bringer of light and warmth, or a hateful inferno incinerating all below it." Luna added, earning and eye roll but also a nod from her sister.

"But how come our races weren't more integrated together or how come Luna doesn't look more… Shadow pony like if they were her subjects?" Rarity asked.

"Shadow Pony traits are passed from mother to child. While day ponies like yourselves with a Mate and have another of your race or a chance of a different race because of genetics the Shadow Pony races traits pass down from the Mother to the child. Meaning a Thestrial stallion could mate with dozens of mare's but if none are Thestrials themselves all the foals will not be born Shadow Ponies." Luna explained. "While my father was of the shadows, mother was not."

"Wait, does that mean… you two are half sisters?" Pinkie asked.

"Yes. Tia and I have different fathers." Luna nodded.

“Fascinating.” Twilight said, writing this all down feverishly.

"So that means Sombra really is the last Umbrum huh?" Fluttershy asked.

"Yes. And I doubt he'd want to swap genders to fix that." Discord shrugged. "Though there are other options."

“IQ?” Twilight brought up. “Her knowledge on biology is leagues above anything we know, so couldn’t she…ya know, help with that?”

"I was thinking of something else but if you want to go the boring way that can work too." Discord shrugged.

"Plans for cloning and genetic recompiling are here." Pinkie said, holding the Notebook of inventions.

"How did you find that again?!" Celestia asked.

"You filed it under your secret cake fund expense reports." Pinkie said.

“Fuckin…” Celestia immediately grabbed the file before Twilight could pounce at it.

“Knowledge~.” Twilight whined, pawing at open air as she tried to reach the files.

“No, bad Twilight.” Celestia huffed.

"Oh please." Discord said, snapping his talons and the folder was now in Twilight teeth. "In case you forgot I.Q. revolutionized the Empire in a few hours and is probably going to do the same to Amberdoven before she's out. At this rate you'll be a political figure head by weeks end."

"Cool. Basically retirement." Luna smirked.

Celestia sighed, rubbing her temple. “I know…I know…” She shook her head. “Gonna have to start that…” Celestia muttered to herself, already thinking about the plan she had in case IQ ever was found again.

"You do know you can't put plan I.Q. that's like telling me I can't make Chaos to casually make the day interesting." Discord said, another snap of his talons and one of his Cotton Candy Clouds appeared. Pinkie immediately grabbing it and began eating it and drinking the chocolate milk.

“That’s not what I mean.” Celestia shook her head. “If IQ ever came back…ugh, I have so much paperwork to do…” The solar monarch complained, rubbing her temples.

"Just wait til Hazard shows up and out. Then replace paperwork with him." Discord said, making Celestia crimson.

"Oh right, I forgot you two were close." Luna added.

"Celestia dated Hazard?" Rainbow asked.

"Dated. Rutted. Almost married." Discord confirmed.

“Sh-shut up!” Celestia whined. “I’m trying to deal with a cascade of paperwork as I have to put a Project in motion…a Project that Hazard wanted me to do if IQ ever came out cause there’s no arguing with that woman on ‘revolutionizing technology’.” She sighed, bringing out a bell and ringing it lightly.

“Yes, your majesty?” The mane six and Spike all jumped at seeing a group of Maid’s just…practically materialize near Celestia.

“IQ’s back and wandering the land…time to start her Ideals.” Celestia said vaguely. “You know where they’re filed, and you know who to tell.” She said, which all ten maid’s nodded and vanished into thin air.

“Uh…wh-what was that?” Rainbow asked worriedly.

“Twilight gets her wish of Knowledge, and I get to publicly decree a lot of Nobles can kiss my pure white flank for what’s about to happen.” Celestia answered readily.

"And later you can grind it against Hazard." Luna added, getting a thwap form Celestia with one of her wings. "Hey, you were the screamer, the whole kingdom knew you and him were together." Luna laughed.

“My love life has nothing to do with the current situation.” Celestia huffed. “Also, I’m the screamer? Should I even mention what you did with your significant other?” Celestia huffed, seeing Luna blush equally. “That’s what I thought.”

“You had a lover Luna?” Rarity asked, her eyes sparkling from the ever growing scandal that was being talked about.

"Well, yes but he was mortal and passed many years ago." Luna sighed. "But at least we knew to put up sound proofing spells before hoof." Luna added, dodging a swipe from her sister.

“Bullshit and you know it.” Celestia frowned. “I could still hear it…but…it was still sad for the loss.”

"True but at least it didn't leave the castle." Luna added. Sighing. "So, all that aside it seems there is much to be done in the very near future."

“Yes…there is a lot to do.” Celesita nodded. “I just hope that whatever reason the Portal’s have reopened is settled soon…I fear what could possibly happen soon…”

"And for that you Jinxed it." Discord groaned.

To be continued...

Stick goes to Baltimare and thing's go horribly wrong part 2

“Wave of Light!” I shouted, dropping the holy sword downward and throwing it up as massive pillars of pure Light rushed through the horde of undead, sending them all flying away like Dynasty Warrior enemies.

“My my, even against my blessed, you are killing them very quickly.” Blood hummed, pleased by my performance as I blocked a greataxe the size of my body from cleaning me in two.

“Yeah yeah! How about you suck my left nut!” I shouted, pushing against the giant and sending a Shadow Tendril piercing through it’s skull, lifting it up into the air and slamming it down into the ground hard enough to crack this dimension’s ground and squashing several undead.

I don’t know how long I’ve been here, has it been hours? Days? I’ve killed countless numbers of these Undeads, but they always get right back up, stronger and stronger than before and I’m just barely keeping up with their numbers and growing powers, and what’s worse is that there’s five specific ones floating in the back, one a grey stick figure, a Platinum Dragon, an Elemental which looked like a god damn Primal Fusion which was a combination of all four basic elements which…fuck me sideways, cause Fusion’s are a bitch, Primals are even worse, but a Primal Fusion? Come on!

And it only got worse! Cause the last two were an Elder Titan, and worst of all is a Hechatonchires, a god damn Hundred Handed One! Where and how!?! “Ya know, this would feel a little more feasible with your ‘let’s make Simon stronger for my own amusement’ if I didn’t have those five fuckers watching my every move!” I snapped, dodging a swipe from a ghoul as I punted it’s head off.

“But I just want you to know what your raid bosses are before I step in.” Blood laughed. “And trust me, you’ll need all the strength you can gather from my many pets.” He said, sitting on a fucking throne like he was god damn Dracula swirling a wine glass filled with who know’s what red liquid he wanted

I didn't want to admit it, but I'm getting exhausted. I really underestimated this guy…

“Crap…” I panted heavily, dodging another attack as I tried to think of what weapons I could use to get me out of this bullshit, cause I had every weapon, every magic, every combination I could think of…come on think! “This fucking sucks…” I groaned, jumping back as I brought out a staff imbued with nature magic. “Gaea’s Wrath!” I shouted, slamming the staff down as vines burst from the ground and started to attack the undead, giving me at least a moment to breathe.

The ground suddenly burst into flames.

“Oh what the fuck!” I shouted, leaping away from the flames and standing on the ever growing mound of body parts.

Ugh. At this rate he might kill me… doubt he'd care if he did.

"Simon!"

I looked up, having heard someone new call my name. I spotted a tall armored white Alicorn, blue Alicorn and some snake-dragon looking Chimera also in armor.

“I’ll ask why you know my name later, mind giving me a hand here?” I called out, dodging to the side of yet another attack.

"That is why we are here." The blue one said, flying down and letting me climb on her back.

"Ah! Celestia! Luna! Discord, it's been far too long!" Blood said gleefully as the new arrivals.

“Not long enough Blood.” Celestia growled, slamming her hammer down…and atomizing a shit load of undead.

“Holy shit!” I yelped at the display of power, as I quickly got onto the blue alicorn. “And thanks…I don’t know how long I’ve been here, but it’s been…trying.”

"Been about an hour." Discord said. "At least back on Equis."

“Only an hour? Ugh…this sucks.” I said, bringing out an Eagle Bow and starting to fire off magic arrow’s at many undead that tried to creep up on us.

As the three helped me clear out these undead, Blood looked over the scene with a grin from his throne.

"I don't like that he's not doing anything." Luna said.

“He’s been laughing and watching me struggle, cause he want’s me to fight those five.” I pointed to the five that were still floating there.

“It’s been a while.” The grey stick figure called out, the three hearing his voice and realizing who those five were.

“Not again…” Celestia groaned lightly. “It just had to be those five…”

“Come on Tia, it can’t be that bad can it?” The Elder Titan said. “It’s just like old times…just, more enslavement.”

“Uh…how do you know those five?” I asked worriedly.

“We…used to be friends, way back in the day…” The chimera sighed. “Before Blood showed up and took them all away as his personal slaves…”

"It's what he does. He captures, torments, tortures. If he were to will it, in this place despite all the pain and all the agony you'd feel from your injuries you would not die, and if you got to heal from them it wouldn't last. He'd continue until either you broke and agreed to serve him, or break and go insane, in which he tosses you to the lost souls all stuck here in a hell he created."

"Guilty." Blood shrugged.

“Yeah…that’s not fun at all.” I shook my head. “So how do I kill this bastard if he’s pretty much god?”

"You can't." All three said.

"In the past we've blasted, stabbed, decapitated, hanged, poisoned, vaporized, atomized, sealed and even tried Soul Destruction. Nothing works on him." Luna said.

"The only thing that can work is… waiting…" Discord added.

"Whenever he appears he has a seemingly random amount of time to be free until whatever binds him and the others pulls him in and pushes out one of the others." Celestia finished.

“I…think I have a way to make it faster…” I said. “I remember one of the things that I grabbed from IQ’s bunker…I really don’t want to pull it out but it’s a knife that can…maybe kill him.” I said, remembering that Knife that just radiated Unlife, that damn thing is probably able to kill Blood.

"I'm not sure using that knife is a good idea." Discord said.

“Why wouldn’t it be a good idea?” I asked carefully. “I know it’s a…very dangerous weapon but still.”

"The last and only other person to use that blade rotted away at the atomic level. Whatever it is, it rapidly and deathly corrupts the user." Celestia informed.

“Oh…” I blinked. “Right…don’t use the murder knife, got it.” I said worriedly. “So…just gotta survive…and I think I know when he’ll start charging in.”

"When we're tired and he's bored?" Luna offered, slicing apart a rather tanky looking undead.

“Well, that,” I said, staring at him as he still looked entertained. “But when his time is almost out, he’ll send in those five…and then he’ll personally throw down at the last minute…” I said carefully. “Cause he’ll forever be entertained with me being his new ‘plaything’.”

"You forget each time his timer is random. It could be actual years before that happens!" Discord said, snapping his talons and turning a row of undead into… jello?

“Excuse me what?” I asked in surprise. “The hell did you do?”

"I'm the god of chaos, this is my shtick."

“Oh yeah…I really should have remembered that when you sent me flying twice.” I frowned, aiming up and firing off an arrow as it split off into a few thousand and hit their target’s with perfect aim. “So…just gotta wait…goodie…”

"Assuming he doesn't kill us first." Luna growled.

“True.” I sighed. “Oi…alright…let’s continue this Dynasty Warrior nonsense.”

I huffed as I pulled out a fresh weapon. I never expected to break any of them, let alone hundreds.

Luna, Celestia and Discord had long since had their armor broken off, their original weapons broke long ago and I lended them some whenever they broke.

Blood stood across from us, still grinning despite us all having deep wounds.

“The hell are you grinning about?” I asked, lightly moving back as I countered a ghoul with my bare fist, shattering it’s head like a raw egg. “Sooner or later, it’ll all come down to my fists? Heh…never thought this would happen…” I thought to myself bitterly.

"This has been fun." Blood said, cackling as those chains around his wings began to glow and unwrap.

"About time." Huffed Celestia.

“So, now it’s boss time?” I asked, bringing out two lightning chakrams and getting into my stance.

"His timer is up." Discord sighed, the lose chains floating out, then rapidly spun around Blood and wrapped around his body right.

"I hope we can do this again soon." Blood said, still grinning as his body began to glow, blinding us all.

When it faded, we were out of the pocket dimension, I.Q. on the ground where Blood was, and it was raining.

“What…the fuck…” I panted heavily, falling to my knees as a lot of the energy that was keeping me up and going was leaving me rather fast. “Just…just like that?”

"Blood is an insane one. We…" Luna started, suddenly stopped talking as she looked around. "We entered the pocket dimension in Baltimare… yes?"

"Yes? Why?" Celestia asked.

"Where is it?"

We all turned around, we were on the docks again, but the city wasn't.

“Uh…so I forgot to ask this during our long stay in Mr. Blood’s Wild Ride…but how does the day and night cycle work? Cause I coulda swore that the sun barely moved whenever I bothered to look before…all this.”

"I move the sun across the sky. Luna does the same for the moon." Celestia informed. "As for how time works in Bloods domain, we do not know."

"I actually tried to keep track but I couldn't. Even my chaos magic was limited in there." Discord said, looking around.

"So… it has definitely been a while." Luna said.

“So who the fuck was moving the sun and moon while we were all in there for god know’s how long?” I asked. “And how is this place not a barren wasteland due to the sun possibly never having moved?”

"Twilight or Cadence might have been able to. I left the spells where they could find them Incase Luna and I were ever absent or worse." Celestia said.

"Hey, that's new right?" Discord said, motioning towards something in the rain. Where the mist/fog of the rain nearly hid what seemed to be a statue.

“This better not end poorly…” I said, walking over to the statue carefully, more so because I was dead tired and could barely stay standing.

We all walked towards the statue. The rain mist and fog clearing a bit, letting us see the statue. A massive stone ship full of ponies, names written along the ships sides. Around it we began to see… rubble. Buildings and roads all smashed to craters and hills of rusted steel and brick.

The plaque read 'In Honor of The Lost When Baltimare Fell'

“Baltimare fell?” I asked, looking around quickly. “Hello!?” I called out worriedly. “Is anyone here?”

"How long were we in there?" Discord asked as a growing dread fell over us.

“Uh…” I said, quickly looking around and trying to take a step, but my body really didn’t want to move fast as I bent a knee. “Shit…” I groaned. “I…I don’t know if I can…stay conscious…”

"Here." Celestia said, levitating me onto her back. "We need to find help. Maybe I can contact Spike?" Celestia said, pulling one of her feathers from her wing and in a flash of gold and green it was gone.

"What do you think happened?" Discord asked.

"Looks like an air strike." We all turned, seeing I.Q. was up and walked next to us.

“Air strike? Why the fuck would that happen here?” I asked, trying my damndest to remain conscious even as literally all my energy left.

"My guess." I.Q. materialized a bottle, a green liquid within that she popped into my mouth. It had no taste but with each gulp I felt better, more energized. "The rifts broke."

"Impossible." Luna said. "That would have taken-"

"A year. Minimum."

“We…we couldn’t have been in their that long right? And what about these supposed Elements of Harmony that they talked about keeping it together?”

"If Twilight and her friends weren't able to stabilize it, then… maybe it was… unless…" Celestia frowned.

"Looks like it's been four years, two months, six days." I.Q. said, suddenly holding a smartphone.

“Four years!?!” I said in shock, jumping off of Celestia. “No, no that can’t be right, sure it felt long but that was because it was Dynasty Warrior central in there!” I said, starting to think of what could have happened…only to suddenly hear movement. “Oh, what the fuck now?” I groaned, as I looked over…and saw Grey Stick Figures, mindless test dummies looking ready to fight. “Oh what the fuck…”

They approached us, I.Q snapping her fingers and the test dummies turned to dust.

"Judging from the satellites of mine still in orbit, looks like Simon's old world and Equis collided and seem to be in a symbiotic orbit around one another. Makes for easy travel, but weather and ocean tides on both planets would be apocalyptic."

“I can imagine.” I said worriedly. “But…we need to find any survivor’s, I know that Hyun’s Dojo should still be around and look for anyone to help.” I said, knowing the number one guild in my world wouldn’t have just fell over to Faust or whatever the hell happened to her.

In a flash of smoke and green flames a rolled up sheet of paper appeared in front of Celestia.

Rapidly she unrolled it. "Spike's replied… no…" Celestia said, a look of pure horror washed over her face.

“What happened?” I asked worriedly.

"Rainbow Dash… was killed in battle, and Twilight has been… crippled." She said, the paper dropping and soaking up the water, turning to mush.

“Worse than I thought…fantastic…” I sighed. “Did it say where they are or if there was anyone helping them?”

"The… They're in the Crystal Empire. The barrier has been keeping them all safe." Celestia said trying to keep it together.

I sighed, gently putting a hand on her head. “People are still alive, people are still safe…things will get better, I promise.” I said softly. “So…just let it out…you're with friends.”

Celestia dropped to her stomach and cried.

The Crystal Empire changed. The barrier was bigger, lots of makeshift homes, farms. It expanded all the way to Sombra's shed.

"So you were stuck in that pocket dimension for this whole time?" Sombra asked. I came right here to see my daughter who was now three.

She looked… a lot like my mom. If I'm honest.

She was playing with Legos.

“Yes, I have been stuck in that place for four years…” I said, kneeling down to see my daughter. “Hey Dawn.” I said softly, feeling like crap that I missed so many years other life but it was very important.

She looked up at me, tilting her head confused. "Daddy, who that?" She said, pointing at me.

"You're biological father Dawn." Sombra said.

"Two daddies!"

"Eh… sure."

Honestly…hearing ‘who that’ hurt my heart a lot…but then hearing her cheer like that at least patched it up a bit. “I’m your daddy Dawn…I’m so sorry for being gone so long…a bad person took me away for a long time.”

"Yay! Are you gonna be kissy like mamma, Pappa and uncle?"

Wait what?

"Erm…" Sombra coughed. "I may… or may not be romantically involved with Cadence and Shining Armor…"

“Bruh, I thought you were gonna be single till the day you die?” I asked.

"So did I… but around Dawns first birthday, we all managed to sit down and have some drinks. Shining and Cadence feeling like shit given Twilight's current state of health, and… well, we all woke up in bed and it was clear things happened… After an awkward moment and some clean up, I figured if not for me, for Dawn. With I.Q. not caring or wanting to be a mother Cadence would be a good mother figure and she has been. In the end we just kept… together. Doesn't help that because of them I found out I'm bisexual too…"

“Cool…” I said. As the two of us stared at each other…”I’m the man in this relationship.”

“You fucking wish.” Sombra growled.

“I spent four years being watched over by a literal god of death as I had to deal with a never ending tsunami of undead that kept growing powerful.” I frowned, looming over the stallion. “I am also a master of Darkness, so try me.”

"I had to deal with Cadence's fetishes." Sombra countered.

“So Cadence is the tie breaker here.” I huffed.

"Oh trust me, knowing her she'd conjure up a magic dildo and make us both her bitch. Already has with me and Shining. Sometimes that mare terrifies me… yet I keep returning."

“The power of horny is strong I will agree.” I said. “Just look at IQ and…many of the fetishes I got from her…”

"Remember, Cadence is her granddaughter so, she got it from her most likely. In any case, things have been… well, not good since you, the princesses and Discord were gone. I'm sure you already know the element of loyalty is dead."

“Yeah, we got the message…” I sighed. “This sucks…but at least Hyun’s Dojo has been helping out…even with what few members there are…” I said, having seen that only the strongest Guild members were here with whatever refugee’s they could get. “But…it could be worse, that’s all I can say.”

"I suppose. At this point in the first war Equis had already lost fourteen billion. Six million globally is honestly better numbers than we could have expected."

“So that means a lot of the world hasn’t been destroyed yet, and there are bastions that haven’t suffered as much.” I said readily. “That’s good to know.”

"Just two." Sombra said. "The Crystal Empire here, and the Zebra Capital, Ariguth."

“Good to know…cause that sounds like an entire country away…fantastic…” I sighed.

"Other side of Equis." Sombra nodded. "everywhere else is either crawling with monsters, murderous sticks, and sitting in Canterlot on whatever is left of the castle throne is Faust."

“Great…” I sighed, rubbing my temples. “So…besides probably getting into a weird poly relationship with you, Shining and Cadence...I have to reforge hundreds of weapons, some armor for Celestia, Luna and Discord…and also be a father as I help try and stop Faust from all this nonsense…”

"Well, then good news is that Smog Iron has been working what remained of your worlds Blacksmithing Guild like dogs keeping weapons and armor for ponies and sticks alike flowing like water so, maybe you can work for him for a while and when you can reforge your weapons."

“Well, it’ll be tough but it’ll at least be something useful.” I said honestly, gently patting Dawn’s head. “All for a new safe world for Dawn.”

"You should go see Twilight at the Crystal Empire Memorial Hospital."

“Yeah, I’m gonna need to meet these Elements…or whatever is left of them after seeing one of their group killed and the other crippled…” I sighed, fearing what might be happening to the other four. “But first, food. Now where’s my dinner?” I asked Sombra with a cheeky grin like he’s my housewife.

"Blow me." They growled.

“We’re gonna have such a wonderful relationship I can tell.” I chuckled.

To be continued...

Stick sees the aftermath

I was finally going to meet with Cadence and Shining Armor. They, with Sombra were all in the house.

"Hey. Been a while." Cadence said.

"Yes…and I'm sorry that I couldn't stop…this from happening." I sighed, feeling at least partially at fault for not stopping this since that's pretty much what I was supposed to do.

"Its… been hard but we've been managing." Cadence said. "In total between us and the Zebra lands… Equis has a forty thousand population."

"More or less depending. With your old home planet up there some managed to get there. Saw a lot of bright flashing lights up there… on a clear night you can still see something happening." Shining added.

"Yeah, my world tends to be busy." I said sheepishly. "But there's at least some hope and people alive right now."

"Fair. So, Sombra said you wanted to meet with Twilight?" Cadence asked.

"Yes, I would like to finally meet the group that's been apparently watching me since day one." I said.

"Well, that's gonna be an issue…" Shining Armor sighed.

"I know…and I'll pay respects to this Rainbow Dash." I said carefully.

"It's not just Rainbow Dash being dead. They haven't been in the same room let alone talked in the last year." Shining Clarified. "Twilight's injuries, she can't fly or use magic anymore, so she's working as a teacher now. Applejack lost all her family, brother, granny, cousins. She only has her little sister and has been obsessively protective of her. These days she works out in the fields. Rarity still makes dresses but she mostly spends her free time and days visiting her little sister in the mental hospital… one… very sick jackass had her and a dozen others all… it was bad. Pinkie takes care of two infants that used to be the foals of her employers. Considering they and her own family are gone now, she's mothering them full time. Lastly, Fluttershy is actually helping in the wars, her talent allows her to understand animals so she has a lot of small ones gaining Intel for her and therefore the army."

"Oh…" I said slowly. "The fuck…"

"None are really up to help, I mean, aside Fluttershy. Maybe Twilight but that will take some convincing."

"Alright…" I sighed, rubbing my temples bitterly. "So…can we move onto less depressing and messed up topics?" I asked carefully.

"... Crops are holding up well." Cadence said awkwardly.

“Alright, I might as well…” I sighed. “Sombra here’s being a pansy and we need you to be the tie breaker.”

"About?" Shining asked.

“So, Dawn see’s the both me and Sombra as her daddies, and I called being the man in the relationship, but he claims that Cadence’s fetishes outweigh being stuck in Blood’s Murder Dimension for four years where even Celestia, Luna and Discord were having trouble.”

"I mean…" Shining started.

"If this is gonna be a thing like between Sombra and us then I'll settle it now. You three are the men in the relationship but keep in mind I know spells that can change that rather quickly." Cadence said.

“Well…” I sighed. “That’s fair I guess…I’m just alone, very tired, and in need of a lot of emotional support at this point cause Mr. Blood’s wild ride was not fun…”

"Wanna relax the normal way or the Adult way?" Cadence asked.

“Yes.” I said readily. “Cause after this, I have to try and meet all the ponies I apparently met my first day here, I need to go down and help the blacksmithing guild create a whole host of crap, I need to remake…sixty percent of my arsenal…I need to go out hunting…” I groaned and put my face in both my hands. “Why…”

"I guess you'll want to start him off then?" Sombra asked.

"I guess. For the record, are you bisexual Simon?" Cadence asked me.

“I’m willing to see.” I said honestly. “Don’t know if I’ll like guy’s as much as women, but at this point I just need…something.”

"Fair. I'll start him off then Shining and lastly Sombra."

That was an experience for me. Turns out I am indeed okay with both.

Still prefer girls but it was alright with the guys.

After that was done and I got a good night's sleep in a pile with the three I got up and was enjoying a breakfast.

“Well…that helped me a lot…” I muttered, though that time it felt…different at least than with IQ.

"Meh. I give it a C minus." Cadence said.

CRITICAL DAMAGE!

My Ego…

"Better than Sombra. When we started he was given a D." Shining said with a chuckle.

"Har har…" Sombra huffed.

"Well…I did only have sex two times before this…" I said weakly.

"Don't worry, we'll get that number up and some endurance training along with it." Cadence said as she levitated me some coffee.

"Cool…" I said, finishing up my bowl of cereal. "So, I have a ton of stuff to do today-"

"I am indeed going to be a ton of stuff for you to do." Cadence said without missing a beat.

"...That involves me repairing or making brand new oweapons to get back my entire arsenal…"

"That's going to take you a while I imagine." Sombra said.

"Considering I started my journey of being a Master of Arms since I was nine…yes, it will take a long time." I sighed.

"Resources wise we have a little of everything." Shining said. "Most of what we do get falls from debris coming from your world."

"That's fair…"I sighed. "Besides, most of it is going to be the magic parts of my weapons that's gonna be a bitch and a half to get…"

"You still plan on visiting Twilight and her friends?" Cadence asked.

“Yes, I would like to meet them all properly.” I said honestly. “Cause I did meet all of them when I originally got here but…well, I was running from the guards cause they immediately thought I committed a crime.”

"I guess you'll need their addresses and workplaces then." Cadence said, using her magic to write down all the information then gave it to me.

“Thank you.” I nodded. “Oh, and where’s the Forges? I’m pretty sure it would be in the same place but just want to make sure.”

"They're set up in the old mines. There's still ore and special crystals and gems in there so they set up shop in there. Fast access to whatever they need." Shining said.

“Cool.” I nodded. “Alright, time to go meet some people and hopefully help them in someway…”

I quickly left and looked at the list. I was surprised to see Rainbow Dash was on here. This address must be for the cemetery or whatever she's buried.

Well, at least I know she'll be there…

The walk there was about twenty minutes. Among the many graves here I found hers. Some dried flowers, a medal, and an image of the mare. Blue coat, rainbow mane and almost crimson eyes.

The stone read 'Here Lies Rainbow Dash. Element of Loyalty. The Last Wonderbolt. Cherished Daughter. Beloved Friend. Idolized Honorary Big Sister. Hero.'

I sighed, pulling out a shard of a wind dagger and gently placing it on the gravestone. “Sorry I never got to see you again…only time we ‘fought’, I jumped over you and caused you to go head first into the ground…” I chuckled, shaking my head at our first encounter.

The grave gave no reply, just the same silence as the rest of them.

I shook my head, knowing I wouldn’t have gotten any response but wanting to say something to the mare. “Alright…let’s get going to your friends…”

With a goodbye I left the graveyard. Closest home address was… Pinkie Pie.

I arrived at the address. A simple two story building made from Crystals, Metal and Wood. It was patchwork construction but it held and was better than nothing. The bottom floor had a large display window where cookies, cakes, cupcakes and other sweets and breads sat all ready for sale.

“Wow…that’s a lot of baked goods.” I said in surprise.

I walked in, the little bell alerting a pink mare. Pink coat, pink mane, blue eyes. Her curly hair seemed unnaturally flat yet retained their curls. "Hi, welcome to- Oh… it's you…" The mare, Pinkie Pie, said as she saw me. "Uh… hi."

“Hey, I presume you actually know my name this time?” I asked politely. “We didn’t really have a…good first meeting.”

"Yeah… hey Simon." Pinkie said. "Are you here to buy anything?"

“I wanted to talk to you and see how you were doing…and sadly I can’t cause I am still about as flat broke as a drawing of my race.” I said, trying to make a bad attempt at a joke.

"Well… I'm doing alright, all things considered."

I sighed, getting onto one knee was I was more eye level with the mare. “I’m sorry I failed Pinkie…I really am…”

"Why are you apologizing?"

“Because I was…supposed to stop this all from happening.” I said honestly. “It’s why I was going around and sending people back to my world when it happened…but I got stuck with Blood for too long…”

"I know. We all saw." Pinkie stated. "That place… how much time did it feel like for you?"

“It felt like an eternity…” I sighed. “Constantly fighting ever growing hoards, seeing how they all kept getting stronger and stronger…it…it wasn’t nice at all…”

"... Will, will Blood be back?"

“No.” I shook my head. “He has to get through all his other ‘roommates’, and I’ll make damn well sure that never happens again.” I said readily. “But…if it ever does happen again, I’ll stop him, and make sure he regrets ever coming back. I promise.”

"Alright… well, it was nice meeting you in person again Simon."

“Well…how about I help you work in the bakery for a bit so I can actually pay for some of the ‘mythical pastries’ I’ve heard so much about.”

"Heh, it's fine." She said, pulling up a small bag from behind the counter, already sealed and filled with something. "These are day old discount grab bags. I usually sell them for two bits but you can have one."

I was about to disagree, that I should at least work…but then my stomach growled. “Well…at least I can finally eat something without being interrupted all of a sudden.” I said sheepishly.

Pinkie gave me the bag. I opened it, seeing three cookies, all Chocolate chip, two mini cupcakes in small plastic bags wrapped up. One was vanilla, the other chocolate. One slice of what looked like banana nut bread, and a jelly donut.

I took out a cookie first and bit into-

…
…
…

I think my mouth just climaxed.

I grabbed Pinkie into a hug and actually started to cry. “Thank you…”

"Uh… your welcome?" She questioned. "Never seen someone so happy to eat day olds…"

“Pinkie…you have…absolutely no idea, how delicious this actually is.” I said slowly. “I’ve…I’ve never actually tasted a cookie this outrageously good before.”

"I mean, thanks? It the same recipe the Cakes used in the shop. Nothing different."

I pulled back and looked at her. “Pinkie…let me ask you something, have you ever actually tasted this before?” I asked, shocked to hear that she thought this was nothing special.

"All the time. I am baking them so, would be weird if I didn't."

“Ugh, why can’t you adorable ponies understand food?” I whined. “First that crappy food ‘critic’, and now you think this isn’t the best baked good ever created…”

"I guess since… the Cakes and… My family I… just stopped noticing." She shrugged.

I winced.

“I…I’m sorry…” I sighed. “This wasn’t supposed to happen…none of this was supposed to happen…”

"It's… well, I've accepted it. Just still hurts to remember them sometimes. But, I have Pound and Pumpkin to look over. They're actually in pre-school right now."

“Well…that’s good.” I said, getting up and grabbing a seat. “I have time, do you want to talk?”

"About?"

“Well, anything really.” I said honestly. “The kids, yourself…anything you wanted to ask me during your time watching me…anything really.”

Pinkie seemed to mull that over for a while. "Hmm… well, there is one thing I always wondered. Me and Rarity both actually." Pinkie said. "So… are you like, wearing clothes or are you naked?"

“Uh…” I frowned, cause now that she mentioned it…”Ya know, it’s one of those things you never actually notice until someone points it out…but…kinda sorta?” I asked sheepishly. “Like, it keeps me all covered like normal clothes, but I still need clothes for some stuff like extreme weather and the like.”

"Huh. Well, what about your belly button pocket portal thing? Does time move in there or?"

Huh… also a good question- Oh crap I forgot about her!

“Uh…” I immediately shoved my hand in there and tried to grab at the Wind Pegasus woman that’s been living in there for four years. “I don’t know, thank you for reminding me…”

I managed to grab a hold of wings, and out came Crystal with a yelp. Her mane was a bit messy and she was wearing a bathrobe and a face mask. "Dude! I was watching Breaking Bad in there!"

“And it’s been 4 years, and how the fuck are you even doing that?” I asked, now super confused as there was no way in hell there was some five star hotel in my armory/soul dimension or whatever the hell is really is.

"There's this movie theater in there with all kinds of cool shows and such I can pick from." Crystal said with a smirk. "Also, huh? That how long it's been? Wow. I stopped counting after day fifty and picked up One Piece."

“While you’ve been in the lap of fucking luxury, the entire world has been going to shit…” I frowned. “No, you are banned from my pocket dimension until you start getting your shit together.” I said. “Though it is good to know that time does flow normally in there…”

"Awh come on! I left my popcorn in the microwave in there!"

“Make sure the place doesn’t burn down first.” I amended. “Don’t want things in there set on fire…”

"Save the fire room." She added. I paused, staring at her. "What? You legit have a room in there that is always on fire. Fire never spreads, leave or make smoke either. I use it for roasting marshmallows and potatoes."

I rubbed my temple. “Alright seriously, I need to have a deep dive into that mystical place cause what the fuck…”

"There's also an ocean room, a clouds room, a training dojo, a shooting range with all kinds of guns, a massive library, there's all kinds of cool, weird, and honestly terrifying things in there."

"How?" Pinkie asked.

"No idea but the most coolest thing there was the room with the phone."

“The phone…” I said. “What?”

"Oh yeah you pick it up and you can call anyone, literally anyone. I used it and I got to talk to my grandma. She died when I was ten."

"You can… talk to the dead?" Pinkie asked flatly.

"Dead, living, a parallel genderbent me living in the same pocket dimension in a gender bent Simon, myself when I was a foal which explains a weird phone call I remembered from then…"

There…was no way…I put my hand back in to try and find this mythical ‘Dimension Phone’ and bring it out here.

I felt something. Like the grip of an old landline phone. Picking it up and pulling it out showed me a red plastic landline phone, wire still on the inside of the portal.

"That's the phone." Crystal confirmed.

I raised a brow, bringing it up to my ear.

"Would you like to place a call today?" A female voice on the other end asked me.

“Uh…yes, I’d like to talk to the Rainbow Dash of this world…” I said slowly.

"Understood. Redirecting you to Afterlife Realm Z7245JL09, personal Paradise of Rainbow Dash."

The line was on hold, some basic almost elevator like music playing from the speaker. After a few seconds someone picked up. "Uh, hello?" A raspy female voice picked up, a bit high pitched.

“Hi, is Rainbow Dash?” I asked the person over the line.

"Yeah… who are you? Your voice sounds kinda familiar? Also, how did you get this number? I didn't even know I had a number to call."

“Hi, this is Simon, I’m the stick figure you and your friends were watching for a while…two, I didn’t even know I had this weird phone thing, it just said to ‘ask who to call’...and I wanted to apologize for not stopping this…”

"My guy, I'm dead, why are you apologizing to me? You were stuck in some weird endless battle reality for all that time. I'm just mad I died. Stupid crazy ninja stick lady."

“Well, if I wasn’t stuck in that damn dimension than the barrier wouldn’t have been broken…” I said. “Or I could have at least been there to help prevent your death…but…there’s someone here that would like to talk to you, and like…four others when I get to them.”

"Sure. This a talk for now or later or?"

“Well, Pinkie’s right here, and I’m going to be visiting the rest of your friends today.” I brought up.

"Pinkie's there? Can you put her on, it's been… a while, since I got to talk to her."

“I know, and yes I can.” I nodded, gently handing the phone to Pinkie. “It’s for you.”

Pinkie picked up the phone, shaking a little as she brought it to her ear. "D-Dashie?"

Pinkie and Dash talked for maybe an hour or so before saying goodbye. I promised Pinkie I'd visit again to let her talk to her parents and sisters.

Right now I was walking down the road with Crystal, no longer with the face mask goop on but still in a bath robe, heading to the next nearest place. Rarity's new home/boutique.

"So, how long til I can return to my apartment?" Crystal asked.

“After you get back to being a proper guard and helping the people you originally wanted to do.” I said readily.

"Awh, but you said it yourself there's not really a guard left. Besides, it's not like I was completely lazy in there. I was training in all those different Dojo's you got in there."

“Well the world needs you, and the Guard to help protect what little people are left.” I said. “And the fact that your trying to make an excuse not to help the people you were charged to help is disappointing.”

"No offense but if the world is as fucked as everyone is saying and your planet up there doesn't look any better." Crystal pointed up to the sky where the distant world I called home was seen with pretty good clarity. "Might be better to store everyone in that endless world in you and just leave planet."

“I mean, if you want to pack up and run like bitch, that's your problem.” I stated simply.

"My guy you were barely handling one on one fights with these other sticks now there's hundreds or more running around plus monsters. I'm being a realist here."

“No, your being a coward.” I stated. “Look around you, while you were living in the lap of luxury, these people had to endure four years of bullshit, and I had to deal with an endless battle with Celestia, Luna and Discord for the same amount of time, but did any of us give up? Did these people give up?” I motioned.

"Actually I think that guy is giving up." Crystal said, pointing a hoof at a stallion throwing a noose over a tree branch.

“Oh no you don’t!” I snapped, rushing over to the stallion. “Excuse me, what do you think your doing?”

"I'm gonna order a pizza." He said sarcastically. "What's it look like I'm using the suicide tree."

It was at that moment I realized the tree actually had the words 'Suicide Tree' carved into the trunk.

“No.” I said, grabbing the rope from the stallion and putting it away. “Why?” I asked, both the stallion as to why he wanted to commit suicide and why the fuck there’s a Suicide Tree.

"My family is dead. My friends are dead. I got my cherry popped by a tentacle monster that violated every hole on my body, and I just found out I have an STD. What do I have to live for?"

I blinked, wondering how the fuck half of this shit was even going on. "Here's what you need…you need a therapist, a stiff drink, and a cure for said STD because this world's magic is bullshit and can probably cure it immediately." I said immediately. "And also probably a talk with your family and friends, which I can do, all I need is a name." I said, while pulling out the magic phone.

"I'd much rather be with my family, all the hospitals and medicine makers that did have treatments and cures outside the Empire are gone now, and can’t be fucked to get it treated, and a therapist was the first pony to hang themselves on this tree. As for the booze, tried it, no thanks." They said, yanking the rope from me and tossing it back over the branch.

“So you're killing yourself because you don’t want actual medical help and because one therapist killed themselves you should also do that?” I asked.. “Secondly, IQ is alive so she can immediately solve a lot of problems.” I said, honestly surprised that I didn’t immediately see a lot of tech just flying around immediately.

"Don't know who IQ is, don't care." They said, putting their head through the loop. "Now if you aren't gonna help would ya kindly piss off?"

I looked to Crystal. “Any ideas?” I asked carefully.

"I got one." She shrugged, walking up to the stallion. "Yo. What's your name?"

"Oak Hammer."

"Well Oak, what would you say to a place that probably, most likely has the cure for your STD and even possibly the best therapy alternative in the world?"

"What's the catch?"

"It will annoy this guy." Crystal motioned to me.

Oak rolled their eyes. "Whatever." He said, pulling the noose off his neck and frowning. "So where is this pla-"

Crystal then pushed Oak into my portal.

“Ah, yes, cool, thank you Crystal.” I growled, rubbing my temples bitterly.

"Oh relax. Trust me, it's better and quicker. Besides I know more about that place than you do I can probably have him coming out at least mildly depressed rather than suicidal."

“Whatever, if you want to force yourself to be right, sure, cool, fuck it.” I shook my head.

"Hey, you wanted me to help and I'm helping. Not my fault your belly portal dimension literally has infinite of everything." She huffed. "I'll be out in an hour, two max. So go check on Rarity while I work on him." With that she jumped in.

I huffed and headed over to the boutique.

“Cause what’s the fucking point, it’s not like I was being forced to travel around this fucking planet trying to solve the growing problem and then get stuck in a dimension of violence for four years, no no no, I just have to deal with an asshole that was in the lap of god damn luxury the entire god damn time.” I grumbled to myself, actually a bit furious about this entire situation now as I had to suffer just so Crystal can act like some god damn savior because of her own luxury.

Also because I really wanna see what it's like in there.

I made my way to the New Carousel Boutique. It was an all crystal, two story house. Much like Pinkie's, the bottom seemed to be the store and the top for residential.

I walked in, a small bell signaling my entry.

"Hello and welcome to- Simon?!" A white unicorn mare with a purple curly mane and tail yelped at seeing me. She wore some red framed glasses and measuring tape around her neck. "Oh thank goodness you're alive. I owe Fluttershy ten bits." She shook her head. "How long have you been back?"

“Barely two days.” I said, trying to hold back my aggravation. “How are you doing today…Rarity was it?”

"Yes." She nodded. "And… well, as good as I can be. With my sister in the mental hospital, our parents gone it's been… rough. I guess I'm just glad my Mare friend has helped me by being my rock."

“Your marefriend?” I inquired. “Like, friend or lover?”

"My Lover." She clarified. "Terminology must be different for you. Yes, we met during the chaos ironically enough. Funny I always imagined a handsome dashing stallion to be who I spend my life with, yet my silver fox won my heart and helped save my sister from… that degenerate."

“Love works in mysterious ways.” I said honestly. “But what should I know? Best I’ve had is two one night stands with IQ and maybe some thinly veiled friends with benefits with Cadence, Shining and Sombra…” I said weakly. “But glad your doing alright and I’m sorry for what I wasn’t able to stop…”

"I blame the monstrous brute Blood, not you. I just hope Sweetie Belle eventually recovers in some capacity."

“Honestly? One thing that actually pisses me off is that, even with the boundaries breaking, the fact that everything went as worse as it possibly could while I was dealing with a literal God of Death with Celestia Luna and Discord.” I frowned. “But…I do hope your sister get’s better…she shouldn’t have been forced into that kind of horrid situation.”

"Yes. At least I can take comfort in knowing my love took his head, and genitals, off his body." Rarity said, a small smile as she seemed to remember that event.

Damn. I wanna meet this mare.

“Sounds like a lovely lady.” I said honestly. “So, any questions you have for me that you were wanting to ask during my travels?”

"Nothing in particular." Rarity admitted. At that moment the door's bell rang again. "Ah! There's my silver fox in golden armor."

I turned and- holy shit!

It was that food critic! She looked… different. Less thin, more built, mane cut shorter and she was indeed wearing a small set of the gold looking guard armor of Canterlot.

We exchanged surprised looks.

“Well…I see your taste in women is a lot better than your taste in food.” I said carefully.

She frowned at me. Then shook her head with a chuckle.

“Listen…about all the way back…” I said sheepishly, scratching the back of my head. “I’m sorry for being pissy just…I was starving, I barely knew where I was…and let’s be real here, you were saying barely any food was five stars.”

She nodded… okay?

"Sorry Simon, but Zesty can't speak anymore." Rarity spoke up.

I looked back to Zesty, who nodded and opened her mouth- Sweet lord her tongue is gone?!

“Oh my god I am so sorry.” I said immediately. “I didn’t know…”

Zesty shrugged.

"Yes I met her while trying to escape Canterlot after the Monsters began overwhelming the place." Rarity informed. "She was soaking in blood from… well, apparently don't trust food or utensils in the world since… well, apparently it can possibly be a mimic. Twilight used a spell to stop the bleeding and we ran."

Zesty nodded again, shivering as that memory must have flashed through her mind just now.

Mimic utensils and food?! Now that's evil…

“Good lord, Mimic’s are now food and utensils?” I asked in horror. “That fucking blows…everyone hates mimics, and whoever decided to make them that is truly evil…”

Zesty nodded rapidly in agreement.

"Yes. Well, turns out Zesty here was trained in combat by her father. He was an elite royal guard." Rarity informed. "When we arrived in Ponyville and I left to rescue my sister she helped me save her, the other foals there, and several others across town. Helped Pinkie rescue the twins. Scootaloo, Spike, easily forty people."

Zesty blushed but nodded.

Wow. Impressive.

“Impressive.” I nodded. “More lives than I’ve saved…especially when the lives I did save are all most likely dead at this point…” I sighed.

Zesty walked up to me, giving me a shoulder bump with a small smile. I got the intention of 'You'll be okay' from it.

“So…Rarity, would you like to talk to Rainbow? Cause I magically have a phone that can do that.”

I let Rarity talk to Rainbow for a while. Meanwhile Zesty and I spoke with a white board and two markers. She admits she was flirting with me when we argued and that she was rude. She also admits that since loosing her tongue she eats basically anything now. Explaining her bulk up compared to before.

Eventually Rarity finished her talk with Dash and I bid the two goodbye.

I left her house, feeling better as I walked down the-

Oak jumped out my portal. He looked up at me. "Uh… thanks…" He said.

“What did she do?” I asked

"Well, first she took me to this med bay where some robot arm shot a needle in my ass. So, no more STD. Actually, full immunity to all that now so, perks. After that she took me to this room full of puppies. That was fun." He smirked. "Then to a huge walk in freezer with Ice Cream…" Oak said, giving a sigh. "I uh, I guess I just needed a break. Everything that's happened has been… not even my worst nightmares could compare. I was, still am, in a really dark place. I'm sorry."

“Everyone needs a break once in a while…also the fuck did Faust do, make an entire universe in there? It’s supposed to be an armory…” I said in honest surprise at all the magical shit in there.

"Well… I guess I'll head home… uh, mind if I… come back there? I can pay, if you want."

I was about to say no… but I could charge it for dirt cheap and help all these ponies mental states.

“Fine…” I sighed. “If it’ll help.”

"Cool! How much?"

“2 bits.” I said. “While I’d rather not have people pay at all, some of you might not trust me to just do handouts.”

"Cool." He said, pulling two bits out of some saddle bags he had on and giving them to me. "I'll find you later."

After he left, Crystal popped out. No longer in that robe and her mane seemed to be brushed. "So, I miss anything?"

“Just a talk with Zesty and Rarity, and Oak saying thanks and I’m sorry.” I said. “He also gave me two bits for being in my pocket dimension.”

"Cool. Now you won't be broke all the time."

“That would help if I probably wasn’t going to be paid for the blacksmith work I have to do or if the world wasn’t fucked eight ways to sunday…” I sighed. “But yeah, at least I won’t be broke forever after.”

"True. So, who's next on your to visit list?"

“Next up would be…” I brought up the list and see who was closest next.

Applejack.

With that I went to the farm fields while Crystal went to spread word of my new… 'Spa Service' around town.

I eventually found the mare after asking around the fields a bit. She had an orange coat, blonde mane and tail with a torn and tattered hat on her head and a cracked yoke around her neck. It looked big for her but she was wearing it anyway.

She was currently using her hind legs to kick some trees into dropping oranges.

“Hello?” I asked the farm pony.

She looked up and over at me. "Oh, it's you." She said flatly. "What brings you here?"

“Just going around and talking to the people that were watching me for a while and getting to at least know them a bit.” I said honestly. “I think you and…Fluttershy are the only one’s I didn’t meet in Ponyville when I originally came here.”

"Suppose." She shrugged. "There something you wanna say? I got to finish my harvest quota."

“Well, when is your quota done? Cause I was gonna ask if you had any questions for me or if you wanted to talk to Rainbow Dash cause magic phone does magic?”

"In fifty more baskets." She huffed.

“Mind if I help?” I asked. “Cause I just want to talk, and maybe let you call up your family or Rainbow Dash, cause weirdly I just have that that I let Pinkie and Rarity use to talk to her.”

"Do ya even know anything about harvesting or farming?"

“I have gone apple picking before with my family but…well their probably all dead at this point…” I frowned. “I don’t know about pony harvesting…especially how you just kicked that tree and everything just shook out of it…seriously, how did you do that?”

"Earth pony magic." She said, giving another kick to the tree as more oranges fell perfectly into baskets.

“That’s actually pretty neat.” I said honestly. “Never really got to witness ponies magic besides Kabu, Sombra and Crystal.”

"Hm." Applejack hummed. "If you're gonna help then go collect the potatoes over there." She motioned to the passive field of spuds.

“Alright.” I nodded. “I can…hopefully do that…” I said, as given the fight in Blood’s dimension it weirdly felt like I’ve had to hold back a fuck ton. So I walked off and started to pick some potatoes and tried to make sure I didn’t fuck it up.

I spent the time pulling them up and throwing them into large baskets. When a basket was full I brought it to a wagon and repeated once I grabbed an empty basket.

The bending over made my back sore and my hands were caked in dirt.

Eventually AJ finished her quota and I walked with her to the public showers on the fields to clean off.

"So, what did you wanna talk about?" She asked as she turned a knob in the shower stall next to mine and hot water began running out.

“Well, I wanted to ask if you had anything to tell me or any questions, before I use my apparently brand new magic phone for you to talk to either Rainbow Dash or…possibly your family.”

"No thanks." She said, making me blink as she shampooed her mane.

“Why not?” I inquired. “I did it with Pinkie and Rarity…is something wrong?”

"I just… don't think I can handle that."

I nodded. “I understand…and I’m sorry that this all happened, everyone else says it’s fine, even Rainbow when I asked her…but I still want to apologize for this…”

"Heh. Sounds like Rainbow." AJ said, giving a weak laugh.

“Honestly…only thing she was mad about was dying, which is fair…but so far, she’s only talked to Rarity and Pinkie…” I sighed. “I know you probably hate me for all this…”

"Ah don't think Hate is the right word." AJ said as she washed off the shampoo and began using some body wash. "Distrust feels more right."

“I…guess that’s fair.” I sighed. “I didn’t want any of this to happen…but when the one thing that’s supposed to happen didn’t and you get a basic summary from three literal gods about how it’s supposed to work in a hellhole…” I sighed.

"Can't undo the past. Much as all of us want to." AJ said, washing off the body wash then turning the water off and quickly using a towel to dry off. "Say, these monsters all around… are they normal in your world?"

“Not…really.” I said honestly. “Sure there are some in like, stupid remote locations, but to the point where they do this? No, hell no.” I shook my head. “And considering how strong some of you ponies are? I honestly have no idea how everything went this badly…” I said. “I mean, sure Grey’s and other bad Stick Figures would have been roaming around, but there would have been just as many if not more Good Sticks…a lot of things aren’t adding up here…:

"Well, whatever's goin on, hope ya can figure it out." AJ said, tossing her now damp towel into a pile. "I gotta go pick up Apple Bloom and Scootaloo from school."

“Alright.” I nodded. “I’ll be off to talk to Fluttershy next.”

"About now she's probably at the South watchtower." AJ said. "Likes to wait for her critters to make it back from recon."

“Thank you…and again, I’m sorry that this all happened…everyone else has told me it’s not my fault but it still sucks…”

With that I left AJ as she went off to pick up her sister and whoever Scootaloo is.

South tower was thankfully near here so I got there pretty quick. It wasn't so much a tower as it was a mix birdhouse/barn. I walked inside where I spotted a butter yellow pegasus with a long pink mane next to a fair sized hole tunneled pretty deep.

“Hello?” I asked the yellow pegasus.

"Hi Simon." She replied, still looking at the hole in the ground.

“How are you doing?” I inquired.

"Waiting for some of my animal friends to come back."

“Alright.” I nodded. “So…do you have any questions for me?”

"Not really. Mr. Mouse already told me I won the bet with Rarity."

“Well…then do you want to make a call to Rainbow? I have a feeling Mr Mouse also informed you about my magic phone.”

"Yes. And, I guess."

“Alright.” I said, picking up the phone and calling up Dash. “But…I’m sorry that this whole entire thing happened Fluttershy…”

"I wish things could have gone better… like why didn't my brother die in the chaos?"

Say what?

“Excuse you?” I asked, hearing it ring for Dash as I knew she was probably wondering ‘what now’. “Is your brother that bad?”

"Yes." Fluttershy said flatly.

“Damn…” I said in surprise. “What’s he look like and what did he do?”

"Blond mane, turquoise coat, his mane is unkept, he has a five o'clock shadow at all times, talks like he's better than others, self obsessed, self centered, flirts with any and everything mare he walks or flies past. Ignorant to all of their complete lack of interest."

“Oof, he’s that guy.” I said in sympathy.

"You have a sibling like that?"

“No, thankfully.” I shook my head. “I had two younger sibling’s, a brother and a sister…both were so happy and ready for life, knowing what they wanted to do. My little brother grew up star gazing and, one day, got the powers of Constellations, scared the shit out of mom and dad when he charged in through the patio door riding an Ursa Minor.” I chuckled. “My sister wanted to be a songstress…most beautiful voice you could ever dream of…and also apparently if she sang at a specific tone she could literally create the notes to act like shield’s, weapons, or little dancers that just hopped around to the music…it was really adorable when we all learned that.” I chuckled…though I sighed bitterly. “And…all things considered, their both probably dead…”

"Maybe not? We don't know that much about what's happening on your world. Or maybe they ended up here and are somewhere."

"Considering it looks like a war zone up…I don't think so…" I sighed.

"I guess you won't know until some time later… wait, your siblings both had powers?"

“Yeah, shocked the shit out everyone.” I said honestly.

"But, your parents, don't you have any?"

“Well…sometimes powers are weird like that, sometimes you’re just an average joe but really good at fighting with a specific weapon, sometimes you get stupidly strong powers.” I shrugged. “It’s always been weird, but that never stopped someone like Oxob, who has cybernetic hands that produce electricity and barriers can kick the shit out of people who have powers…but mom was didn’t really have powers but was stupid smart, and dad was a god damn wizard with any bladed weapon…and for me? I’m either completely powerless with the only thing that makes me this today is boredom, indecision, and a whole lot of spite, or maybe my power is that I’m a quick learner cause I learn a lot of shit stupidly quickly."

"Maybe Twilight can help you figure that out? I think she can probably help you with that."

"Maybe." I said honestly. "Would be cool to know if I'm special in some way then just…me compensating for mental issues…"

"You should go check with her then." Fluttershy said, suddenly a trail of small moles began climbing out of the hole. "I have some work now Simon. Head on to Twilight's. She's probably in her classroom still."

“Alright, but do you want to talk to Rainbow or someone real quick?” I inquired. “She’s already talked to Pinkie and Rarity, Applejack isn’t ready and…doesn’t trust me…”

"I'll talk to her later. The information these little ones have is critical, and I am the only one who can understand them."

“What information is it?” I inquired, putting the phone away and looking concerned.

"With luck, geography data needed to finish the map of most of upper Equestria. A strong earth bending stick person completely reshaped the land there."

“Either for territory, to get people to leave them alone, or something else…” I frowned. “Cause again, Stick Figure’s aren’t generally bad people, sure there are a few that are just…ech, but still.” I said carefully. “But alright…yet again another thing I might have to look into…”

"We can talk about it later then." Fluttershy said.

“Yeah, plus I’m gonna need to remake…so many weapons…” I sighed bitterly. “Well, it was nice talking to you Fluttershy…and which classroom would Twilight be in right now?”

"Advanced Spell Casting and Theory."

“Thank you.” I nodded, getting up. “I’ll be off then…and it was nice to meet you.”

I managed to make my way to the school. It was a university of the layout tells me anything. There were some recent additions to it. Walking through I eventually found the classroom Twilight should be in.

Walking inside I saw a lavender mare. She looked like a mini version of Celestia, Luna and Cadence… she actually didn't look harmed at all.

“Ya know, teach, the last time I saw you you…didn’t have wings.” I said honestly, remembering how her and Spike were the first two I met in this new world. “Unless I didn’t notice due to…well, the situation.”

"Simon?" She said, looking over at me. "It was… recent. Not like it's real any more anyways." She put a hoof up to her neck where a thin string held up an odd token. "A month after neither you or the princesses retuned, Cadence had me go through the ascendence ritual, so I could help her move the sun and moon across the sky. A year after that, Canterlot was attacked shortly after the barrier broke between our worlds. I lost a leg, a wing and a half, and my right eye. This pendant puts up an illusion. No pony can tell, not unless they touch my back left leg, wings or face."

“Ya know…honestly surprised that half the tech here that IQ made four years ago wasn’t able to help fix…a lot of things.” I said honestly. “I mean, barely twenty minutes into being here the first time and she did a sci-fi industrial revolution…” I shook my head, walking over and taking a seat. “I’m…really sorry Twilight…”

"I know… I just wish Blood didn't keep you all prisoner that long."

“Same…” I sighed. “Again…I hate how the barrier was already breaking when Aqua died…this all fucking sucks…”

"Yeah… so, how long have you been back?"

“Like…two days?” I said carefully. “Not long enough to get thing’s started…just long enough to get the basic rundown on everything, meet Dawn again…and weirdly get into possibly a poly relationship with Cadence, Shining and Sombra.” I said sheepishly.

"Ugh, don't remind me. Awkward enough…" Twilight sighed.

“I mean, Sombra was all doom and gloom saying that he’ll die single because he lost the love of his life…but weird shit happens in four years I suppose.” I shrugged. “So…Fluttershy told me that you can help me figure out something about me…and maybe I can help you out with something as well.”

"If it's magic related, all I can do these days is some basic levitation. Got my horn cracked. Can cast simple magic but anything more I could split the bone again."

“I was going to say being able to use magic without the horn if that’s at all possible.” I said honestly. “I’ve never actually had a talk about pony biology or how their magic works, but this world’s magic is a lot different than back home.”

"I don't know. Most every race across the world that had magic and the capability to spell cast also had horns. I know Zebras can make potions as catalysts to cast spells but that takes time and a lot of preparations."

“Well, there’s room to show that’s not entirely the case.” I said, raising a hand as I used the shadow’s to gently move a chair over for Twilight. “Now, for me it’s probably going to be mostly using something else as a catalyst instead of your horn, like a tome or a wand since that’s always the easiest go to when it comes to it all.”

"A few have existed in Equestria's history but they're all either corruptive or unstable."

“And that’s where you make your own.” I said honestly. “Doesn’t need to be enchanted to hell or something, cause some of the greatest mages in my world pretty much only had a stick and with a flick of the wrist could do some really greatest stuff.”

"I'm pretty sure there was more to it than just a stick… in any case, it's good to have you back."

“Well, it’s good to be back and not in that hellhole.” I shivered. “So…one thing Fluttershy said, is that you can help me figure out if I actually have some special power that I never knew about."

"Possibly. There is a basic spell I can still cast. It's not much but it scans for magic potential."

“I sure hope I have a good magic potential, I didn’t spend years learning and mastering every spell I could get my hands on…and having earned the ‘Gift of Shadows’ to be told I’m average at best.” I said honestly. “Wait…I just remembered a thing master Kabu taught me!”

"Being?"

“Well…it’s gonna be something that I’ve mostly used on myself without even thinking about it…” I said honestly. “I hope to shit it works…but do you trust me?” I asked, cause I’m not sure if this Shadow Healing can work on others but I hoped to god that it could.

"What are you trying to do?"

“So, I’m about to use Darkness to try and get you back some of your missing limbs.” I said, putting a hand on her as I tried to focus on the magic. “Kabu told me about the Good and Bad of Darkness, where it’s a Peaceful Watcher enjoying the sights and sounds of Life, and can be compared to the strongest holy magic around.” I said, sensing the many shadow’s of the room moving towards the both of us. “And when that was one of the few unbreakable strength’s I’ve had in Blood’s Domain…it helped that I became real acquainted with it as a whole.”

"Well… I guess I don't have much else to lose." She said, reaching up to her necklace and pulling it off.

The illusion fell and I saw the damage. Scars were still visibly seen on her body, her fur wasn't growing over them. It looked painful…

“Right…” I said carefully. “Maybe we should get into a dark room or something…this is probably gonna take a while…”

"Famous last words before two people end up parents." Twilight said, giving a chuckle.

“I mean, at least let me take you on a date first.” I said with my own chuckle.

"Did you go on one with Cadence, Sombra and my brother?"

“Kinda?” I asked nervously. “I mean, I met and talked to them all before and got to know them a bit…I suppose it was also for a point of contention between me and Sombra when Dawn said she has ‘two daddies’.” I said sheepishly.

"Heh, cute. Well, let see what happens."

To be continued...

Stick learns the truth

Twilight managed to lead me to the school basement. It was plenty dark in here. Perfect for using the shadow magic. With a deep breath I gently placed a hand onto Twilight’s back and called forth the darkness. Despite the pitch black environment I could sense the endless dark creep closer and circle us. The ancient dark gazing upon Twilight and hearing my requests.

The old darkness began wrapping itself around the mare, like a second skin it began to engulf her and soon took in the extent of her body’s damage. I could almost feel as the dark chuckled, as if expecting more before it began to get to work. Her false leg was removed and growing out of the stump was bone and inching new flesh. Her wings, what remained was removed entirely as something new, more durable and fleshy over feathers. Her new eye began to fill the hole the old one once resided in, it’s color a crimson red, contrasting her other eye’s normal purple. Lastly, her horn, or lack there of began to regrow, curving as it rose and becoming a dark purple color.

Her new wings, like the Thestrials were like bats, heavy, thick and covered in a thin layer of her purple fur.

Her new leg touched the ground, and with that the healing was done. Twilight’s body was reborn.

The shadows took their leave and I turned on the lights. Twilight taking a good look at her new form in the mirror. “Woah…”

“You look… epic…” I said.

“Heh, I kinda look like Sombra, sorta?” She said, looking her new horn, wings and eye over. “I’m actually surprised that worked.”

“Honestly…. So am I.” I sighed. “Okay, so now that you’re healed I need to get all my weapons and such repaired.”

“Well, that is gonna take a while.”

“Yes.” I sighed. “Don’t suppose you know a way to speed that up?”

“All the repair spells I know only work on minor issues. I get the feeling your gear is a bit beyond all that.”

“Sadly.” I huffed.

“Well, guess I just need to wait.”

The next two months were waiting for all my weapons to get repaired. I spent it all training with whatever, and when I got a weapon back I practiced with that until I got another one back and practiced with that until I got them all back.

Well, not all of them… Some required more rare materials that just were not available, so I kept them in my portal thing anyway in case I found the materials. Crystal has also been getting me a lot of business as a ‘Therapeutic escape’ and I made on average anywhere from two to four hundred bits a day. The people need an escape from all this and I ended up providing it.

Today though I was ready to get to work. I was off to hunt that earth bending stick figure near the borders here so I can help everyone make progress.

Thanks to some ice weapons of mine I was able to brave the cold without issue and once I crossed into Equestria I spotted all the rearranged landscape. Deep gorges and tall mountains, pillars of earth and such were everywhere.

This guy must be seriously packing some power.

I pulled out my Guia Gauntlets, they can mimic Earth Bending and offer a small passive defense bonus. I took a deep breath and began to walk down the dirt, whistling in hopes to get this guy's attention.

As I walked I looked around, noticing the lack of, well, plants and animals. I could feel like I was being watched however.

“Who dares?” A booming voice that seemed to come from the ground itself asked. The ground seemed to vibrate with the voice.

“I dare.” I said. “You’ve been fucking up the terrain and making travel a real pain in the ass.”

“Leave this place. My domain is my own. No one is allowed within my domain other than I.”

“And just who the hell are you?”

“I am Gravel, and you are trespassing.”

Gravel… I don’t recognize the name. A guy packing this much power should have been known. “Well I’m Simon, and I don’t give a shit!” I shouted. “Are you going to fight me like a man or hide like a coward!”

The ground school violently as suddenly the rock and dirt around me began to shift and I watched as one of the rock pillars grew fingers, then flexed them. “Then perish.”

Oh fuck!

I ran, bolting and dodging the massive earth hand crashing down and sliding along behind me. I jumped and managed to slam my gauntlets into it, breaking it in two but got hit by a new pillar or earth slamming into me from behind. Cheap shot…

I got back up, jumping as the rock and earth flew and charged me. This guy has to be viewing me from somewhere. But where?

As I dodged and jumped I looked around and noticed there was a pillar or rock in the distance of all this, standing tall and unmoving.

Bingo.

With great effort I managed to jump and dodge my way near it, eventually tricking the big oaf into slamming one of their own earth limbs into the pillar. It broke in half and then I spotted them.

My eyes widened and I rushed up, grabbing them and landing carefully.

“No!” Gravel screamed as he moved and tried to escape to no avail… he… he has no limbs. No arms, legs, just his torso and head. “Put me down! Return me to the earth!”

“Dude what the fuck happened to you?!”

“Nothing happened to me!” He shouted. “I was born this freak of nature, coddled and treated as a burden. From a young age I knew I could control the earth and I felt freedom! But my family, they feared my powers! Locked me in a hospital, many floors above the ground I could feel calling! Faust brought me here and I will not go back to that or any prison!”

“Alright, so Antaeus but instead of being a Half Giant wrestling master, he’s a cripple…” I muttered. “Alright, so, gonna make a deal here my guy, cause currently you doing your ‘domain’ crap is hurting more people than it is doing good, and if you want the ‘freedom’ you rightly deserve, you’re going to help me and those that need it.” I said. “And before you say ‘what’s stopping me’, I can have a pegasi tie you up in a cloud and keep you as far away from the ground as possible, so please…don’t tempt me.” I told the cripple carefully, even after two months to get my bearings…it’s still two months too little for the six years of bullshit I had to endure.

“...Fine. But I just ask for solitude in return.”

“Eh, I can try but…the equines in this world are very social creatures and would sooner try and make you their friend, even with your disabilities and frankly stupidly strong attunement to Earth magic.”

“Ugh…”

“Better than being stuck in a hospital right?” I asked. “Cause you have a second chance here…also, I don’t think it was Faust that brought you here…I think it was something else.”

“She’s the one who shattered the barrier, if not her than who?”

“Either someone that’s impersonating her…or someone that’s stuck inside of her that’s taking control of her, because she’s the one that originally brought me to this world to stop this from happening…and then Blood happened and…ugh, that was a nightmare and a half.”

“Your life sounds complicated.”

“You have no idea.” I chuckled. “Now, I’ll put you down and…gonna ask for your help on finding some rare materials.”

“Like ores and such?”

“Yes, cause I am a Master of Arms and a lot of my more…’well made’ weapons need the materials.”

“Oh well there’s lots of that in the ground here.”

“Thank you.” I said, gently putting Gravel down and pulling out a pickaxe. “Welp, time for some mining.” I said readily, hoping this will help me at least get my head back into some shape instead of constantly trying to go back to the…horrors.

Once I put Gravel down he began fixing up the terrain. While it wasn’t perfect it was at least workable.

He then helped me by dropping a ton of various ores and such in front of me. I immediately pocketed them all and headed back to the Empire to get the rest of my weapons repaired. Once that was all done I went home to relax, finding Cadence sitting on the couch. “Hey Simon.” She waved a hoof at me.

“Hey Cadence.” I said, walking over and sitting down next to the princess of love. “How’s your day been going?”

“Oh, I did some shopping, some babysitting, and saw Twily today. I have to say Simon, I don’t know what you did to her in the dark but she is a whole new mare.”

I raised a brow.

“Her attitude, her walk, why she was fumbling all over herself.” I put a hand over my face. “What’s the matter?” She asked me with a grin.

“Woman, it’s not like that.” I said carefully, even as I felt my face start to burn in embarrassment at what she was insinuating.

She laughed. “I know… still, thank you for that. She looks different but she has her magic back and she hasn't been this happy in years.” Cadence sighed. “So, how was your mission?”

“Honestly, I’m surprised at how drastic her change was…I honestly was just trying to get her missing body parts back not…turn her into some hybrid queen of vampires.” I chuckled. “But my mission went surprisingly well, I met a rather strong stick named Gravel, his Earth powers are really strong and he’s helping me out in finding rare minerals and the like, but so far he just wants to be left alone cause of…stuff in his past.”

“Is he the one who was altering the land by the border?”

“Yeah.” I nodded.

“Well, as long as he doesn’t try and attack us anymore he can have his peace. So when are you gonna head back out?”

“Soon as I can. Lot of sticks causing problems… everywhere really. Though honestly we need more ally’s. Just wish I knew where they were keeping all the guild members prisoner. Free them and the battles become more fair and even.”

“Do you think they are still kept on your world?”

“That would make sense. Faust, or whatever is controlling her, has my world under their total control. Send the trouble makers here, keep the heroes captive there… it’s a sound strategy… but how can I get there?”

“I can think of one way, Discord can probably teleport you both there without much hassle. Where has he been anyway?”

“Helping here and there. Most stick people with magic and such don’t react to his magic, or if they do it seems to a lesser extent, which is why he could teleport me around everywhere. I don’t have any magic or abilities naturally.”

“Ah, well in that case he can definitely get you there… Will you be alright seeing your old world? From here it looks… in bad shape. Stars know how bad the surface is.”

“... Good or not, I gotta do it.” I sighed. “It will hurt but I can manage.”

Cadence leaned next to me, wrapping a wing around me in a half hug. “I hope you find your siblings too.”

“... Yeah… Me too.”

I spent the rest of the day relaxing and the next moring I went to find that old chaos spirit. Thankfully finding him was easy, listen for the screams of surprise, shock and laughter.

The chimera creature sat atop a large red sled, giving gifts from a bag in a makeshift santa costume. The gifts seemed to rage from toys, food, odds and ends, and whatever really.

“Hello Simon. Care for a not-christmas present?” He asked, handing me a gift.

I took it, looking inside and seeing a book inside. ‘How to bang Twilight Sparkle in- “Dude!”

He laughed, snapping his talons and the book, sled and such was all gone. “Sorry for the goof, couldn’t resist. So, what brings you here?”

“I need you to take me to my homeworld.” I stated. “I know I can free the heroes and guild members from whatever prison Faust has them in and turn the tide here.”

“Oh… Oh well that’s gonna be… tricky. Faust isn’t an easy person to get past without detection. Not even I can hide from her should she detect me…”

“Please Discord.”

“Relax, I’ll help, but I’m also saving my own tail.” He said, grabbing said tail and popping it off, then stuck a claw down it and rummaging around inside it like a bag. “I know I kept that old thing somewhere… Ah! There you are!” Raising their claws back out, Discord was gripping… Is that a Portal Gun? “Back in the old Stick War, some weird robot appeared and dropped this. I kept it for fun.”

“Holy hell, you found a Portal Gun? That’s…oh boy…” I said nervously. “Right, so how did you change this so it’ll take me to my world?” I asked, looking over the Portal Gun carefully to see how it would help me get from here to my world cause it would need two ‘portalable’ spots and Discord might not be able to see that far.

“Allow me.” Discord said, snapping his fingers as a sort of window appeared showing me a moon’s view of… home. I took a deep breath and fired into the window, the orange beam rushing down and the portal gun registered that it opened successfully. I then pointed to a nearby wall and shot off the blue one. The portal opened and through it I saw ruins and smelled smoke and dust.

“Yeah…smells like fighting there.” I said. “Thanks Discord…gonna be a hell of an adventure going through my world after all of this…”

“Just be careful. You have an advantage in your lack of natural magic. Faust can only detect when someone uses natural magic. Your magic weapons will make you mostly invisible to her, but she might still be able to detect you if you use too much of their magic in a fight, so be careful.”

“I will.” I nodded, handing him the portal gun back and running through the portal back home.

Once I was though I looked around, seeing I was in the ruins of a city… now where…

A loud guttural screech caught my attention and I immediately jumped, dodging and pulling out a broadsword and hacking through some three headed minotaur that charged at me. Yeesh… that’s new. Okay, need higher ground.

I put the sword back and pulled out a pair of fans that I used their wind abilities to boost myself up a tilting skyscraper… Okay, looks like I’m…

“Glad to see you came home, Simon.” I yelped and spun around, seeing Faust there. “Easy there, I won’t hurt you.”

“How did you… There’s no way that one use gave me away.”

“Ah, Discord told you about Faust’s little ability didn’t he?”

“I was right… you aren’t her…”

“No, but I did take her looks. My true form to you all is quite… different.”

“You… are possessing her, right?”

“Possess? No. Impersonate, easily. Especially after I gutted her and that annoying stick she showed up with. Then again it’s my own fault, should have found more competent help back then.”

“Back- what did you-”

“Start the tears that started the first Stick War, yes.” She said. “It wasn’t a real passion project, more of a… time killer. Your world was plenty chaotic so I figured I’d try and see if your ancestors could do my work for me. Almost did too. So impressive.”

“... Who are you?”

“I’ve gone by many names, been called many things, but the name I go by is Pain.”

“Fitting… you did all this… why restart the war? Why send me to Equis to stop the tears!?”

“Oh Simon, that was just an act. I didn’t send you to Equis to stop anything… I sent you to start the war.”

“You… you what?”

“The barriers were whole and healthy. I could have broken them easily myself but where is the fun in that? I needed someone who could make it interesting, entertaining. I needed a powerless, delusional sad little man with a hero complex and an unhealthy idealization of their role models to belive they were sent to stop something that their very presence started. The longer you were in Equis the more and more the barriers weakened and then when Blood captured you… check mate.”

I was… hyperventilating… I… no… no I… “Blood… you…”

“One of my soldiers.” She smirked. “He was never meant to fight amongst mortals though, he was built to kill gods and slaughter Afterlifes. The poor thing got captured though. Those pesky gods couldn’t kill him so they bound him to a mortal soul, several actually, and then put them all in a body bound in mortal flesh with an immortal fate and lifespan.”

“You… You’re the one who gave him all that time…”

“I considered it a welcome back gift. After all, I did make him so, I thought it would make him happy.”

“You… did all this… To kill time?”

“The first war was to kill time. This one was for fun. Trying out new tactics, new strategies. Gotta say, it’s been really entertaining.”

“Then why are you telling me this now?” I asked, tears pouring down my face.

“Why? Well, why not?” She responded. “I’ve had my fun, played my games. I could stick around and make sure Equis finishes burning just like your world did but, I have other more important passion projects to tend to.”

I…I was at a loss for words…a…a God just…wanted to do all of this…for fun!? To kill time!?! I…something in me started to burn, burn hotter and brighter than even a star…”Oh…oh you’ve done something that I never thought possible…” I said calmly, my sadness, my anguish at being some plaything, some catalyst to destroy my world and this world getting blown away by this…calming sense of pure rage. “And you know what? I have to applaud you…I thought Blood was enough to make thing’s go wrong…” I said, pulling out one of my more rarer and difficult weapons to make, the one weapon that managed to not break even when I went through Blood’s realm…a simple looking Zweihander that was etched with my own personal symbols from my time learning so much about magic, the blade being made out of a Wyrm’s talon and Orichalcum…”You’ve made me so…unabashedly pissed…alright, so you still owe me a fight…” I growled, grabbing the sword with both hands. “And I owe it to everyone that suffered because of you…” I said, even as I felt the ground crack underneath me and I vanished and swung my sword down as strong as I could against her.

The impact split the building, blasted up so much dust and debris… and when it cleared, Pain was holding my blade in her finger tips. “Cute trick.” She said, a twist and the blade snapped clean in half.

I growled, the blade immediately reattaching itself as it shined with special magic that I put into this thing, cause this one weapon was so much of a bitch and a half to make that I wanted to make sure it wouldn’t break even against the most bullshit of powers. ”I’m not going to fall over because you break my weapon.” I said, before swinging my blade again…but something weird happened, as I…thought I saw Sand swirling around the blade this time…like Dusters?

She raised her other hand, blocking the impact and looking at me unaffected by the attack. “Are you just realizing?” She asked, flicking her fingers and knocking my weapon, and me back some.

“Realize what?” I growled, grabbing my blade again as I tried to swing some debris towards them to get a distraction so I could swing at them…but somehow, extremely thick roots rose from the ground to try and attack Pain as well. “Okay…what the fuck…”

Pain chuckled, side stepping then hacking the roots apart in a single swing of her arm as she walked towards me. “You really thought you were born powerless. It’s so sad to, it’s what made you the perfect pawn to start this game off.”

“Assumed so, considering not everyone is born with powers.” I said honestly, now trying to think of what the hell is going on. “This is Wyrm’s Wrath, sure it’s indestructible but…I shouldn’t be doing half of this crap…” I thought to myself carefully, raising my blade as I saw…icicles form in the air…like one of the zombies from Blood’s domain…”Oh come on…” I muttered, before firing them all off towards Pain.

They bounced off her skin. “Oh you poor, poor fool.” She said, walking up to me and grabbing me by the neck. “You’ve had a power all your life. You’ve just never been angry enough to notice.”

“I’ve spent a lot of time doing a lot of shit that wasn’t being angry woman.” I stated, as I decided ‘fuck it’ and just tried out random shit, which when I swung my blade this time a torrent of wind shot out that held practically invisable swords just from the sound of the swing alone.

They too didn’t affect her. “Wrathful Impersonation.” Pain said simply. “A power that passively allows the owner to learn any and all magical abilities and attacks but can only make use of them while in a highly enraged state. I know this power well.” She pulled me in, leaning into my ear. “I made it.” She then threw me across the ruble.

“That’s impossible!” I snapped, getting out of the rubble. “And I can prove it, I was never wrathful when I fought against Kabu, I learned to use the Shadow’s and it was never used in wrath…plus, if that were the case, why in god’s name wouldn’t I have been able to do it when I was in Blood’s dimension when I was fighting for my life?” I asked, even though I was trying to fathom the fact that she ‘created’ a strong as hell power or how I magically obtained it. “And how are you not being hurt by any of this?” I frowned. “Shit…gotta think of something, she can’t be impervious to everything can she?”

“It’s cute that you think you can hurt me.” Pain chuckled. “Wrathful Impersonation only activates when the owner has fallen into a total pit of despair and anger. You fought for your life against Blood’s armies but you never felt lost, never gave up hope and were driven by your ideals and goals. Now that you know the truth… you have nothing. Why else would it activate than when you have nothing left to lose, when all you thought you knew was a lie.”

“There’s still hope for a new life, my family is still alive, and there’s still so much to lose…” I growled, gripping my sword tighter as I used some of the power that I witnessed Blood use when he kept reviving all his zombies or even murdered one of them cause he was bored. “Crismon Wrath!” I snapped, as my sword turned blood red as I swiped down at her with her ‘soldiers’ power mixed with my own that grew from those six years of battle.

She snapped her fingers, the soldiers and attack vanishing into… dust… “You know you aren’t gonna damage me right? I built Blood and their attacks to slaughter gods and afterlifes… So, doesn’t it stand to reason I’m stronger than some annoying gods?”

“Just because your stronger doesn’t mean you can’t be hurt…I…I just haven’t tried hard enough…” I said, trying in some vain hope that I can actually hurt this whore.

She sighed, vanishing. I felt a hard hit across my neck…

I fell to the ground… immobile. “Not as you are, you can’t.” She said, kneeling down. “Simon, I am in a whole different class compared to anything you could fight in your lifetime. The only beings that can hurt me, I call Family.” She said, pushing me over and onto my back, making me look up at the sky above as she did too. “You are persistent. I’ll give you that… but this was a fight you never had a chance at.”

I felt tears fall down my face again…the constellations…”Is…is my family alive?” I asked weakly, just…hoping for something to go right at this moment…

Pain was quiet for a moment. “Do you know the Temple of Demons on this world?” I nodded. “They’re there. Rough shape but alive. You sticks were always resilient.”

I let out a shaky breath…their…they're alive. “Thank god…they're safe…just…need to feel things again and I’ll get to rescuing them…”

“They’re all that’s left on this planet.” She said, making me look over at her. “Looks like everyone else died off already. Just you, them, and the Sticks over on Equis.”

“That…that shouldn’t be right…there’s so many from the guilds that could…what the hell did you bring here?”

“... Little of everything.” She said. Faust’s skin seemed to be… melting off. My eyes widened. She wasn’t a Stick at all… she looked like… A corpse of a human… “That’s my job. I bring forth calamity and destruction. Armageddon and genocide, from planet to planet, galaxy and universe. I am All Maker Pain. Mother of Monsters, and harbinger of the Endings.”

“Wh-why?” I asked weakly. “There was still so much…why do this for fun?”

“...Someone has to.” She said, looking down at me. “Even infinity has to end. Even infinity has limitations when confined to a finite space. The other All Makers are always bringing life and adding to it. Someone has to subtract it. Make room for all they create. That’s my Job. I make space for more of what’s new can come into the finite space you all foolishly call infinity. Ironic, isn’t it. To hold infinity in a finite space.”

I sighed, knowing she had a point but…”So why me? Was I just some test dummy for a strong power or did you do it because of what you said? That I’m just some sad sack that could be strung along to end the world?”

“I never bestowed that power to you.” She chuckled. “Just the pocket dimension. A favor to an in law. That power, I did make it, but that was an eternity before your solar systems star even came into being. You were just born with it.” Pain said simply. She raised a hand to the sky, moving it across as… the stars began vanishing. “This world and the reality it’s connected to will vanish soon. The barriers will be repaired and Equis will be safe. But your home reality, world, will soon cease to exist.”

“How…how long do I have before it all goes away?” I asked, now thinking I have a time limit to save my family and get back to Equis before this place ceases to exist.

“... Not enough time.” She said, snapping her fingers. “There. They’re at the Crystal Empire now. Consider that my favor to you. One of the few beings I’ve met ballsy enough to charge at me and keep going when nothing they did worked.”

“Well…one thing about us Stick Figures, is that we’re very stubborn when it comes to fighting…” I said, trying to get some feeling back in me so I can get back home…god, mom and dad are gonna kill me if they learn what nonsense I’ve been up to.

Pain smirked. “Ya know, It’s actually been kinda nice to get to know you Simon…” Pain said, leaning down and over me now. “The pocket dimension holds the answers. Find the right door.” Before I could ask, everything went black.

To be continued...

Stick get's a happy ending

I was meditating in the house I shared with Shining, Cadence and Sombra. I’ve only done this once before and it was a pain in the ass but It’s my only shot to enter my pocket dimension personally and look for this door Pain mentioned. I took deep, slow breaths letting my body relax, my mind clear and trying to astral project.

Breath in.

Breath out.

Breath in.

Breath out.

“Hey Simon.” I opened my eyes, seeing Crystal standing before me. “You finally got inside your own bellybutton huh?” I looked around, seeing I was in a rather fancy entrance chamber. Many hallways and stairs leading in all directions, up, down, sideways… woah. Trippy.

“Yes, cause I have been…very busy with a lot of other things.” I said carefully. “So…this is my pocket dimension huh?”

“Yup. Well, the entrance hall.” Crystal shrugged. “So, looking for something specific?”

“The right door…” I said carefully. “And given that this is going to be some MC Escher esc bullshit…it’s gonna take a while.”

“Well, if it helps I already labeled a lot of them.” She said, walking me over to a door that had the words ‘Marker Room’ written in marker ink. “Makes navigating easier.”

“And given that I have yet to be a part of this magical candy land, I’d like to see what’s in it.” I said honestly. “So onward to opening up way too many doors…christ, you’d think…” I said about to continue but then saw a black stick figure running through one of the doors and looking around…gave me and Crystal a wave and ran through another door. “Oh you’ve gotta be kidding me…” I groaned.

“Yeah, no idea who that is but they just do that every so often.” Crystal said with a shrug, opening the Marker Room and handing me a marker. “Let’s get looking.”

And so, we did. I walked with Crystal til we found some doors that were not marked yet and began opening them. There was all kinds of stuff. Repeats and the like.

There was a room of USB drives. A room of computer parts. A room of dragon scales. A room of left socks. A room full of needles. A room with a single corpse laying on the floor. A room with comic books. A room full of drugs. A room full of sheds. A room full of sheds full of sheds. A room with a Mick Gordon reference. A room with a single grape. A room with all kinds of booze. A room full of fog. A room full of fish that swim in the air.

There was a lot of randomness here.

“Ugh, this is taking forever…” Crystal huffed as she closed the door on a room full of paper planes.

“Yeah…like…the fuck is this?” I asked. “I know I called this MC Escher but come on.”

We opened more and more doors, finding nothing but oddities. The doors were endless and I wasn’t sure how long I could keep up looking.

No, no don’t think about that. Pain said there is something here that I need to find. But what? After everything what the hell is there for me to find? What does she want me to find? What can help me now? There’s still sticks causing trouble on Equis and a lot of damage controle here so what the fuck am I looking for?!

I kicked the next door open, finding it dark. That’s new…

I walked in and blinked as lights on a sensor turned on. A lab? All kinds of strange equipment everywhere. Okay… this is new…

“Woah, futury.” Crystal said as she followed in next to me.

“Yeah…this is…quite a lot.” I frowned, walking in and looking around at all the…rather high tech equipment. “Why the hell…”

I looked around and found a terminal. Pressing a button started an audio clip. “Greetings. If you are listening to this then your world has likely been destroyed by any number of factors of apocalyptic events. The facility around you is built to take a DNA sample of your species, if you are one of or a sole survivor, then all you need to do is place a DNA sample into the chamber to your left, and it will analyze, take apart, and rebuild your DNA into new forms of your species. This process can rebuild a species from just a single sample, and given how the process works, very few will have enough genetic similarities to be considered family. Depending on the sample, up to two or five thousand new members of your species can be recreated.”

“Woah! Okay that is very useful.” Crystal said.

This… This is what Pain wanted me to find! I can bring back my species entirely, here!

“I…I can save this world…” I said with a growing smile. “Not just my species, I can save every species that was killed because of this bullshit.”

I grinned, then laughed as I felt like the best thing ever. Finally! I can help!

Six Years Later

“Dad, I'm heading out!” Dawn called as she was rushing towards the door.

"Hold on their missy." I said, quickly scooping her up before she could escape. "And where do you think your going?"

“To the park! James, Poppy and Kelp just got new sketch pads and I wanna see what they draw!” She said, trying to wiggle out of my arms and used her power to float up. I was dangling from her now. Still can’t believe my daughter has the power of flight.

"Alright, but you got everything you need? Don't want you forgetting anything like last time." I said with a cheeky smile at that silly incident.

“No, I got my phone in case of emergencies.” She chuckled, floating down and getting both of us on the ground. “Can I go now, and yes I’ll be back before dark.”

I smiled, kneeling down and giving her a hug. "At least one hug okay?" I chuckled.

“Okay.” She chuckled, giving me a quick hug before bolting out the door.

I laughed, walking over to the door she left open and closing it up. Outside was the Crystal Empire. The new capital of Equis and home to all kinds of creatures. Sticks included.

All the rogue sticks were finally captured two years ago. Most were able to be rehabilitated. Those that were not were imprisoned. Rebuilding the world is taking a long time, but that’s fine. The new generation of Sticks and their powers are helping speed things along. The extinct species that were killed off are back, even some that were long since extinct.

I gave a small content sigh. "Six years…who would have thought things could change this much…" I chuckled.

"Mom! Big brothers acting old again!" I heard my little sister call out playfully.

"Oi!" I called out. "I'm not old!"

“He’s a father now sweetie, Simon is going to be acting older at times regardless.” Mom laughed.

"Mo~m!" I whined.

"Don't worry son, you'll get used to it, as well as learn the power of puns!" Dad laughed happily.

"Why must you all torture me like this?" I whined playfully.

"Cause big brother awesome!" My little brother cheered.

“Speaking of, isn’t Cadence due soon?” Mom asked me. “My god, first one with Shining then one with Sombra, does that mean I should be expecting her to have your baby next?”

"Uh…maybe?" I said sheepishly.

“Heh, that’s gonna be something. Pony magic with Stick Figure abilities. Oh man that baby is gonna be a trouble maker.” Dad laughed. “We are not babysitting.”

"Don't abandon me with that tornado waiting to happen." I begged. "I wasn't here when Dawn was an infant. I don't know how to handle that…"

“Too bad.” He and mom said simultaneously.

“First time parenting isn’t an easy thing and hands on experience with a baby will be better for you.” Mom said.

"Why must you abandon me like this?" I whined playfully.

“It comes with growing up Simon.” Dad laughed.

“Speaking of, can’t believe Dawn is nine already.” Mom sighed. “I remember when we arrived here and she was three and so tiny!”

"Yeah…they grow up really fast." I said with a proud smile. "I'm just…glad she can live in such a happy time."

“Yeah. So, what’s Crystal been up to?”

Heh, that’s a loaded question. Since getting that room with the lab working she’s been using my pocket dimension to house and feed the excess new population. At least until there’s room for them in the expansions. Girl goes between the reconstruction locations and my pocket dimension all the time. At least it keeps her busy.

"She's been busy to say the least, making sure everyone is okay in the lab and checking the reconstruction zones…she's been keeping busy that's for sure."

"When are you going to ask her on a date?" My little sister, the little gremlin she is, just had to ask.

"Excuse you." I blushed at that.

“You already have a sausage fest of a reverse harem, at least consider another girl. I’d like more grandkids.” Mom said.

“Ugh…there’s no winning with you people…” I grumbled, digging into my pocket dimension and pulling out Crystal Wing. “Want to go out on a date?”

“Sure, how’s saturday?”

“Good.”

We shared a nod and she jumped back in as I looked at my family. “Happy?”

“Much.” Mom chuckled. I huffed, but smiled. This is my life now. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The End

Stick goes to Ponyville

"No...no....no..." I frown, tossing a few weapons out of a chest. "Jeez is there any weapon I want to train with?" I frown, tossing away a hula hoop, then a katana, then a club, and I just gave up and got my head out of the chest and scratching my head. "Damn it..." I mutter, brushing a strand of black hair out of my face as I look behind me to the room now littered with weapons and other assorted items that could be used as weapons.

The room that I was in was what could be called a 'stereotypical dojo' room, with windows on all sides of the room, the wooden floor having marks on them and even having weapons embedded in them from me haphazardly tossing swords, axes, shurikens, and other assortment of sharp and blunt weapons. The wooden pillars keeping the place up looked worn but still standing strong, the wracks for specific weapons were still hanging, just freshly cleaned and having some posters hanging around of 'hang in there' with a cute kitten hanging from a tree, a picture of a lime green stick figure giving a thumbs up while his sword was sticking out of the ground and his other hand was holding the handle like a cane while it said 'Be the best you can be', and finally a 'Rock Hard Gladiator' poster that had all the stick figures that I looked up to from Yoyo to Zetabrand, to Jade and Gildedguy. "If only I could be like them..." I sigh out, looking at my own solid blue hand.

"What if I told you you could be like them?" A voice asks, while I grabbed a dagger and got up swiftly, looking around with a fierce glare.

"Who's there?" I demand, looking around the entire dojo room and seeing nothing but the simple room and a shit ton of weapons on the floor.

"Just a friend." The clearer, more feminine, voice says while a white stick figure woman walked out from behind a pillar, her long red hair going half way half way down her back and her bright blue eyes and warm smile showing a more motherly kindness to her. She didn't look any different to stick figures, even the angel like wings she had behind her back wasn't exactly unheard of in the world. "What's a young man like you doing with so many weapons? Don't you think it's unbecoming of such a bright mind?" She asks while I continue to glare at her.

"How about you tell me how you got in here lady." I frown, not wanting to hear some motherly crap here.

"So many choices..." She mutters kicking up a katana and grabbing it in a fluid motions and checking the blade. "Good condition." She smiles at that and putting it down on the ground before picking up the hula hoop. "Why do you have a hula hoop?" She asks honestly. "Are you gonna use it as a weapon?"

"Why does someone use a big purple dildo as a weapon?" I counter, shivering at why the hell that person even though that was a bright idea.

"I see your point." She says, frowning knowingly. "But my names Faust, what's your name?" She asks, getting the hula hoop around her waist and starting to play around with the children's toy.

"Simon." I say, not budging an inch from where I was standing and keeping my grip on the knife. "Again why are you here?"

"Why? Can't a woman see a friend once in awhile?" She asks with a little laugh, and I continue to glare at her before throwing my knife at her. Now it shouldn't surprise me that the winged woman dodged it, but what did was the sheer amount of ease she dodged the knife flying at her as she let the hula hoop drop and bent backwards as the blade missed her, and she want to a hand stand and started spinning the hula hoop with one of her legs. "Sheesh, I know Stick figures can be naturally violent but that's just rude." She huffs, sounding offended before laughing it off.

"H-how did you..." I mutter before kneeling down quickly and grabbing a metal baseball bat and got into a ready stance in case she decided to attack me.

"Please Simon no need to be so tense, besides if I wanted to attack you-" She starts before flinging the hula hoop at me with blinding speed, which I knocked away quickly before she appeared next to me with a long sword gently pressed into my cheek. "I would have already attacked you. You train all day and night to see what your a master at, whether it be magic, weapons, or something else." She says while gesturing to the cluster of weapons, showing that there was an odd book or two that had radiated magical energy. "And yet you don't seem satisfied with just mastering one, you're missing something very important here Simon." She says before vanishing and appearing right back where she was before.

"You know instead of sounding cryptic and weird how about you tell me." I frown, before seeing the sword in Faust's hand glow and she swung down, leaving a massive cut in the air before she dropped the blade and grabbed the cut and tore open what I can only guess as a fabric of reality.

"You'll find out soon enough Simon, but not here." She says with a little grin while suddenly I felt a force try to shove me into the portal, all my weapons already being flung into the thing.

"W-what did you do lady!?!" I demand, feeling the force trying to pull me into whatever place it's wanting to go.

"Just giving you an opportunity to be like your idols." The winged woman says before vanishing, but before I could try to run away I felt something hit the back of my neck and then everything went dark.

After what felt like forever I finally got some feeling back and tried to grab something, but the only thing I could feel was...grass? I groan a little before trying to open my eyes, but was assaulted by the bright sun. "Of course..." I mumble, hating the sun sometimes as I slowly put a hand over my eyes to shade them as I opened my eyes a bit more, thankfully getting a better look at my blue hand and the blue sky, but besides that nothing much else. "Where the hell am I?" I mutter while starting to get up, before hearing the grass crunching underneath something.

“What in the world is that thing?” A female voice asks.

“I have no idea Twilight.” A young boy’s voice said to ‘Twilight’. “But...shouldn’t that be...flat?”

“Now that’s racist.” I joke, before I hear the two yelp in surprise. “Don’t worry, I’m just joking.” I say while getting up and rubbing my eyes. “So, who are-” I start before looking at the two...and seeing a unicorn and baby dragon is not what I was wanting to see. “Uh…” I mutter, starting to slowly get up.

“Hello?” The lavender colored unicorn asks nervously.

“What’s going on here?” A strong male voice says, before a...pegasus in golden armor? “What are you?” The guard asks, readying himself in case I was hostile.

“I’m...just gonna...go…” I muttered, getting to my feet and gently stepping away. “So...it was nice meeting you weird hallucinations, and I hope you...bye!” I say before vanishing.

“Hey!” The guard barks, flying up into the air and looking around, seeing a blue blur head towards town. “There you are.” He growls, flying off towards where I was running.

“NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE!!!” I shout repeatedly, not liking this at all. ”Okay...just...calm down…” I think to myself, before seeing a very homey looking town filled with even more candy colored horses. “Oh for christ sakes…” I mutter, seeing ponies look my way as I kept on running.

“HI!” A female says before a pink pony immediately appeared in front of me...only for me to tackle into her at barely having enough time to react.

“Shit!” I yelp, me and the pony rolling on the ground in a sudden dust cloud.

“Hi! My names Pinkie Pie, what’s your name?” ‘Pinkie’ asks, and I was assaulted by bright blue eyes on a way too pink pony.

“Fuck you!” I shout, grabbing the pony and throwing her off me, jumping up to my feet and bolting again.

“Bye Fuck you, See you later!”

”Is that pony fucking brain dead!?!” I mentally shout, not believing she actually called me ‘fuck you’.

“Hey!” I heard another feminine voice call out, a rainbow blur rushing towards me.

“Nope!” I shout, grabbing the random pegasus by the head, much to her shock, and hopped above her, causing her to ram herself into the ground with her own speed. “Nope!”

“Get back here!” A pony barks.

“You’ll never take me alive copper!” I shout, skidding to a halt before vanishing again to the guard as I rushed into an alleyway.

“How the hell can that thing move that fast!?” The guard shouts.

”I am so going to kick Faust’s ass when I find her...“ I mentally grumble, hiding behind a building and taking a deep breath. ”Okay calm down, assess the situation. I’m in some strange candy colored pony dimension and I have people chasing me for no fucking reason...good first start...“ I think to myself bitterly.

“There’s my newest star!” A white coated pony with a weird pink poof for a mane comes out into my sight. His eyes are glued on me. A female pony that looks like a bargain bin ‘Madonna’ is next to him.

“Nope…” I start, shaking my head. “I can already tell you’re some massive dick monger who’s greedy as piss and hates everyone, including your own ‘star’.” I start, looking at the ‘Madonna’. “Who are you? And why do you look like you just got out of a shitty halloween party?”

“Halloween?” She looks at your confusedly.

“Halloween, a time where kids dress up in costumes and go around asking for free candy?” I ask.

“Oh Nightmare Night. I’m Rara.” She answers only for dickwad to speak up.

“She is Countess Coloratura and she will be your co star. Especially since you need to lay low from the guards.” He weasley points out.

“I don’t care about the guards, but Rara, how much do you hate this guy?” I ask. “Given that he basically called you ‘colar’?”

“That’s Coloratura you philistine!” He snapped out.

“I mean…he is my manager…he’s the one who gets me my gigs…” She muttered out.

“Do you have a close friend nearby?” I ask. “Cause if you have a friend they might be able to let you show your ‘true’ talent shine without this bastard getting in the way. Make up and shitty backup dancers don’t make a performer.” I explain.

“GUARDS!!” The dickwad yells out as twenty guards ponies appear. Half are flying above my head. Before she could answer they all see me.

“Just remember my advice Rara.” I say before vanishing again, before stepping down on the roof. “See ya fuckers!” I laugh, bolting away from all the guards at a much faster pace than before. ”Hopefully she does what I said...she seems like a nice person with a shitty manager.” I think to myself.

“The nerve of some things that are so rude on your hospitality. Come along Countess we must prepare for your next show.” He muttered.

“No.” Rara states.

“What do you mean ‘No’? We have to continue your world tour or have you forgotten how much debt you’ve incurred during all these shows we’ve placed. I’ve barely gotten you to stay above the poverty line and we have to keep going just to get out of the red.” He answers.

“That’s because you keep spending all the money I make on booze and mares you selfish prick!” Rara shouts angrily.

“I have done no such thing you worthless floozy! I made you what you are today! Without me you would be nothing!” He yelled out.

“I HAVE A LIST OF ALL THE MARES YOU’VE SLEPT WITH ASSHOLE!” Rara shouts at him. “You think you’re ‘sneaky’ about it but you are about as obvious to spot doing shit like a dragon trying to impersonate a pony for Celestia’s sake!” She shouts at him, while grabbing her headdress and throwing it to the ground. “I’m bucking done! You have done nothing but drag me down into your own personal cycle of wasting away all my money just to feed your bucking habits!”

“Without me you would still be wasting away on that street corner singing your little songs and getting nothing for it. No one even gave you the chance until I came around. Without my name you would have turned into another mare of the night trying to figure out how to make their lives better.” He hissed out.

“That’s because I was trying to show people at Canterlot! But here, I have a friend that can help show this entire town how great I am at singing, and I don’t need you holding me back anymore!” She shouted, before turning around and bucking the bastard in the face hard enough to send him back a few feet, before seeing him fall to the ground unconscious. “Bucking prick.” She growled before heading off to Sweet Apple Acres.

“Get back here!” A guard barks, flying after me.

“Nope!” I shouted, rushing through the town again as magic spells were fired at me. Most likely stunning ones. “Well at least they’re trying something different…” I mutter, putting more spring into my step and going faster. ”If only I had my weapons, this would make me feel a lot safer.” I think to myself worriedly.

Try your belly button.

”Uh… I think, wondering if I heard that right. ”Well...wouldn’t hurt…” I mutter before thinking of a pair of deflection fans and shoved my hand near my belly button. Now here’s the thing about listening to weird voices, half of the time they're just fucking with you, and other times they actually give good advice, and thankfully I got good advice as a strange gate appeared where my belly button was and I pulled out two fans. “Huh...awesome.” I smile before grabbing the two and unfurling them, seeing the intricate design on the fans before turning around and readying myself. “Let’s hope this works.” I mutter, sensing the magical energy the fans held, seeing a bolt heading towards me and I swiftly and accurately deflected it to the sky. “Yay!” I cheer.

“H-how the!?!” A unicorn guard shouted incredulously.

“They’re fans! How the buck did that deflect magic!?” Another guard shouted, just as flabbergasted as his fellow guards.

“They block magic through the power of awesomeness!” I laugh, then they summoned a lightning storm. “Oh...that’s something.” I deadpan, not believing that just happened before I ran again. “Nope!”

“Get the buck back here!” A guard barks, chasing after me again.

Good start to a good day if I do say so myself.

To be continued.

Author's Note

Thank you so so much for my Co-Writer QuartzScale! This would basically be none existent without him!

Stick goes to Las Pegasus

“Seriously the fuck is Los Vegas doing here?” I frown, looking around and seeing practically everything Vegas would have, if a bit more equine-ish. I roamed around the place, knowing full well I can't pay for anything and certain as hell I wouldn't be c gambling my weapons here...and the hookers won't stop staring at me! “Oi vey…” I grumble, before hearing my stomach growl. “Oh god damn it.” I grumble, putting a hand on my stomach. “Where be a resturaunt?” I thought while looking around, wondering if anyone might randomly run into me as usual.

Nopony did. But while nopony actually cared I did hear someone shouting. “Come one come all to take on this daring food challenge!” An announcer stallion calls out. “Come one, come all to the Neigharan Ghost Pepper Challenge! Hottest Pepper in all of Equestria. Eat a plate of five and consider yourself the top of the food chain and earn free food for a month from the Canterlot Breeze!”

“How do I lose the challenge?” I calls out, walking up and ready to take the challenge.

“Yup if you can’t eat all the peppers you lose! If you stand up before the last pepper is swallowed you lose! And if you drink the milk we provide you lose! Are you up to the challenge!?” The announcer points a hoof at me.

“K. Where's the plate?” I ask with a grin. And I was brought the plate of peppers rather quickly and...to my surprise it practically looked exactly like the Mexican ghost chilly pepper. I took the plate and sat down. “Is there a time limit?” I ask, knowing that most food challenges have time limits.

“Ten minutes. And you didn’t think it would be that easy did you?” The announcer smirks before looking towards the crowd. “HAVE YOU HEARD FOLKS A NEW CHALLENGER!! FACING THE CHAMPION DUO FOR A FREE FOR ALL, ALL YOU CAN EAT CHALLENGE!!”

Two unicorns hop onto the stage each with a jaunty plomb and fun little swagger as they traipse onto the stage lifting their barber quartet looking hat around as they took a seat on either side of me.

“Well imagine this brother. Someone who thinks they can handle our specialty.” The one with a mustache jeers lightly in a joking manner.

“Indeed brother. Why he positively looks like one pepper would give him hot mouth for the rest of his life.” The clean shaven one continues still in his joking manner while a plate of seven peppers was given to either to match mine.

“For this challenge, No Time LIMIT! Last one standing WINS!!” The announcer shouts to the crowd as they all cheer in excitement.

Simon looked at the two. “One at a time guys?” Simon asks them simply, taking a pepper up and ready to just down it. “Meh.” I shrug before eating the pepper whole. Now I've actually had spicy foods sometimes, I've been in excruciating pain, but this...well it's not the worst thing somehow but it's pretty fucking up their! My mouth felt like it was on fire, and I know what it feels like to be on fire, my eyes were watering up, I think my ears were literally billowing smoke but I gulped it down and took a breath that burned. “Next.” I cough.

Both Flim and Flam ate two at once. After they swallowed they looked serenely calm and not at all bother to the heat. If you looked closely though Flim had his entire back letting off steam while Flam was sweating bullets at this point. Neither opened their mouth.

“Nice...poker face.” I cough, my mouth burning more before I ate two at once cause fuck my life, and while I closed my eyes and took deep breaths through my nose and relaxed it still hurt like a mother fucker.

“Seems… like he’s a player brother…” Flam coughed out letting a small fire cloud out.

“Right-o Brother. Seems like we need to show him…” Flim wheezed slightly. “What we are made of.”

In a swipe of their magic they finished off five peppers each swallowing them before letting their mouths open as a large flame cloud appeared from their mouths bellowing out into the sky. Neither brother stood as another plate of seven was placed in front of them and the crowd went wild for them.

I downed the rest of my peppers, trying to keep my concentration on not freaking the fuck out on how my entire face is burning. “My shits are gonna hurt later…” I mumble in pain as my next plate came up.

For the next ten minutes three contestants fought hoof and nail for supremacy. There was no taste anymore. Only ashes clouded their mouths as another pepper was swallowed with the milk looking more and more enticing as time goes on. Ice cold… refreshing. Capable of stopping the pain all together of how spicy this meal was for us. Another pepper down and another which left us in horrible, horrible pain of unimaginable fury.

“Brother… it's… down to the wire…” Flam wheezed out spitting out more flames which caused everything to taste like ash.

“Yes… Brother… one more plate…” Flim barely squeezed out as one more plate was placed before the three of us.

“This...sucks...so...much…” I wheezed out, having to point my head up cause I'm somehow breathing fire with every breath. I reached up shakily for one and grabbed it, downing it in an instant as the burn of the pepper just seemed to be nonexistent at this point. I moved over for another one, not really caring about the other pained stallions.

Flim dropped unconscious while Flam ate another plate to keep up with me. The announcer picked up. “It looks like one has fallen already! What will happen next!?”

I continued to eat more peppers, my entire body pleading for me to stop this madness but I pressed on in eating in practically a delirious state.

Flam devoured just as quickly as me… until he stopped and burst into flames before settling on the ground in a quivering heap of flames and pain. The announcer had to dump the vat of milk on him to stop it.

I leaned up and burped a massive ball of fire into the air, keeping it from setting me aflame before it stopped thankfully. I looked at the announcer with pleading, blurry red eyes in hopes the pain is over.

“And it’s over! The winner is…” The announcer got a bit closer. “What’s your name kid?”

My vision was already blurry as fuck but I passed out thankfully knowing the pain would be gone, a goofy ass smile on my face hearing it was over.

“Huh… Well you heard it folks. Thump has won the match!” The announcer shouted to the entire crowd who would never forget the bravery of Thump. The strange challenger from nowhere.

The first thing I heard when I slowly became conscious was the sound of a heart monitor beeping. “Hmm?” I hum, wondering what the hell is going on.

“Ah Mr. Thump we are glad to see that you are alive. Heck with burns like those we were sure you would never wake up ever again. Heck half your digestive systems look like you’d never be able to eat food ever again and we’d have to feed you through this little tube we shove down your throat.” A doctor chuckles out loud to me.

“Did...I win?” I mumble, hoping that contest wasn't going to waste.

“Oh yes. You did. And now you can eat at the Canterlot Breeze. Home to the spiciest foods in the world.” The doctor beams down at me.

“I'm done with spice...for a lifetime thank you.” I groan. “And the names Simon...not Thump.”

“Well I think the contest heads will only accept Thump as your name now. In fact thanks to Flim and Flam spouting their respect for you the entire city of Los Pegasus now only knows you as Mr. Thump.” The doctor chuckles as he fiddles around with his clipboard.

“Oi vey…” I groan. “And I have to pay for a medical bill huh?”

“No. When you were eating the stallion gave you one of waivers so the hospital is paid for for all the entertainment you provided.” The doctor hums to himself.

“Oh thank god.” I sigh out thankfully. “So...where's food? Cause I'm hungry.”

“We can have them bring you up some hospital food. Right now your tongue would probably fall off if you eat anything else.” The doctor cringes slightly.

“Please...I like my tongue where it is thank you very much.” I nod

“Okay. It’s bland and probably some of the worse food as preached by Zesty Gourmand but it's the only thing that would keep your tongue from falling off.” The doctor presses a button calling in the nurse.

“Zesty Gourmand can suck on a railroad spike for all I fucking care.” I frown. “Still can’t believe ponies believe her bull about food.”

“So… that’s a no on the food then?” The doctor waves a hoof.

“I want food yes. I was just...ranting...tend to do that sometimes. Sorry doc.” I say sheepishly.

“Right then. Well… enjoy the food I guess. In three days maybe you’ll be able to move on back to solid foods again since all that heat ripped through your enamel.” The doctor quickly states before stepping out of the room without looking back.

“Ah man…” I mutter, not liking how my entire mouth is shot because of that. “Well...better just relax I suppose.”

“Ah there you are Minuette. I see you brought the large teeth drill. Yes the patient will be ready for the procedure tomorrow. No problem.” A voice trailed off as a loud drilling resounded from in the hall.

“I really hope I can be high before that thing rips into my mouth…” I sigh out. “That...sounded a little wrong…”

“That’s what she said!” A voice rings out from a dimensional rip that sounded very very familiar.

“Go fuck yourself you weird spirit.” I frown. “So...mind if I ask who you are since you can tell me?”

“Nope. I’m just here for the obligatory that’s what she said joke before you get your teeth drilled into. Enjoy being high. Also the ponies say hi. What… no Pinkie we are not throwing him a party right now. No Pinkie he’s tired of tabasco sauce covered cupcakes. No we can throw one later. Pinkie!” The voice hangs up somehow before silence takes over the room.

“God damn it Pinkie…” He mumbles, not knowing why he said that but feeling it was appropriate.

“Well… Simon was it? We need to get you ready for your operation tomorrow. Have you finished eating?”

“I haven't even gotten food.” I tell the pony.

He points to the small tray on the table that the nurse left of the food Zesty recommended before leaving the room.

“Oi vey…” He mutters while eating his bland and small amount of food. After I got done I nodded. “There, now who's my dentist with a giant ass drill?” I ask.

“This is Minuette. She’s been… enthusiastic to work on an alien’s teeth. Just don’t make any sudden movements and you should be fine.” The doctor says as a light blue unicorn with toothpaste styled hair trots in levitating many… many… many sharp implements all with drill like attachments and even a hammer and chisel.

“Hiiiiiiiii~!” Minuette cheerfully says.

“Can you kindly not sound like your going to violate my mouth?” I ask worriedly.

“That’s also what she said!” The voice called out from nowhere causing Minuette to chuckle.

“Okay. Well let’s get started either yanking or ripping your teeth out and get to the root of the problem. Get it?” Minuette puns a little.

“Can I get really high first before you throw out puns? At least it will enamel me to enjoy them more.” I pun horrible.

“Hm… two out of ten. No anesthesia until you get at least a four out of ten.” Minuette forced a smile.

“I had a pun in mind...but I doubt you know about canine teeth I have.” I sigh out. “Damn it…” He mutters. “

“Listen, how about I get high so I don't mouth off to you.” He puns. “Or are you chattering to hear a new pun?” I pun again, the weak attempts at puns hurting a bunch.

“Hm… passable.” She places the anesthetic over my nose before getting the tools ready.

“There's a party in my mouth…” I slur, tasting sounds and listening to rainbows.

“That’s what she said!” The voice calls out. “Remember folks comedy comes in threes.” And with that the chuckling disappeared as Minuette got to work on my teeth… I think.

To be continued...

Author's Note

Fucking finally! About time I sat down and worked on this. Sorry for the solid fifteen people that care, but there w're several things that got in the way. Hopefully I'll get back in the swing of things here.

Stick goes to Baltimare and thing's go horribly wrong part 1

After leaving the Thestrial city behind Hazard and I walked towards the direction of Baltimare. The whole walk I figured I'd ask the guy questions. Considering he's the de facto leader of his little multiple people in a shared immortality… thing.

"So…how do you feel being back out again?"

"It's nice." He replied.

"Mind if I ask…how are you doing with the…immortality stuff?"

"It's alright." They shrugged.

"Excited to meet anyone?"

"Celestia."

"Girlfriend?"

"Fiance."

"Cool, congrats." I commented. "So…mind if I ask who this mystery soul is? IQ said she didn't know which is…surprising."

"She knows." He said, making me do a double take at him. "They all know."

"That's…concerning." I said nervously. "What makes this mystery person such a secret? Cause you're making it sound like they can do…a lot of dangerous things."

"They can. And are." He stated.

"So…I should probably not talk about it or something?"

"We don't. They are… terrifying."

"And considering what I've seen so far from the three of you…that's scary." I said nervously.

"Hence why none of us talk about them."

"That's fair." I nodded. "So, onto more non concerning topics, how did you and the diarch of an entire country meet?"

"I was the first of us she met. I remember falling through the portals and crashing through her old castle ceiling."

"Well, that's one way to make an entrance." I chuckled. "So, who is Celestia? Cause so far I've only heard a bits about her being the Alicorn of the Sun and a princess of Equestria with her sister Luna and…nothing much else."

"Most only know her as that. Fact is, she's nothing like the regal, elegant figure many in her kingdom see her as. Truth is, while she is a nurturer, motherly and kind, she can and often is very much a trouble maker. She enjoyed high endurance, fast paced activities and adrenaline pumping action. More than anything else, she enjoys a fight where she can hold nothing back. She thrives in a battle against an opponent of equal strength."

"Oh goodie, can't wait for that to be the first thing I do when getting back to Canterlot…ugh, telling a food 'critic' their taste in food is dog shit is one thing, getting into a fight with royalty is another."

"I'd be impressed if you manage to keep up with her. Not many can."

"I don't pride myself as a Master of Arms for nothing." I said with a huff.

"Oh, you are one as well?"

"As well?" I asked. "Well…I suppose you and the other would be considered that…but I am yes." I nodded.

"Heh. While Instinct is definitely a Master at Arms, I alone hold the title of Builder." Hazard said, confusing me as he walked through the trees into a clearing.

"What do you mean by that?" I inquired. "Like…a blacksmith or something?"

"Or something." Hazard said. He walked to the center of the clearing, turning to face me and holding up a hand.

Dust began to rise from the ground, swirling and gathering just above his palm until it formed an orb. Once the orb was formed it began to shift, cracking and shaking as small eruptions like small lava flowers out from it's center and covered most of it like a sea of red.

The humidity in the air caused small clouds all over the surface that rained and soaked the orb, turning molten rock to stone again and forming seas that covered all of the small orb.

Soon, land, first islands, then mini continents began to form through the now undersea volcanoes. After a short time, patches of trees, starting from the coast and going inward until the whole Orb's continents were covered in green. The sea was blue, and squinting, I saw… whales. Birds.

It was a planet… no bigger than his palm…

“H-how?” I asked in awe. “That’s…that should be impossible…”

"One brother can use any and every weapon without having ever touched it before. The other can absorb and generate poison and energy on scales unmeasured. My sister can reshape the universe at the subatomic level and always knows everything in the fields of science and magic. I can make a planet and accelerated the time scale so life emerges, regardless of the conditions." Hazard said, a clear bubble appearing around the mini planet as he handed it to me. "Impossible is not something we encounter often, Simon."

“I…suppose.” I said, gently taking the planet. “Just…I’ve never heard of any Stick Figure being able to do…any of this.” I said carefully. “Strength, Energy Manipulation, and a high IQ sure…but to the extent you all can…”

Hazard shrugged. "Hence why after so long we just kept to a hermits life. The attention is just… unsettling over time."

“Considering you’re the strongest Stick Figures I’ve ever heard of…I can assume so yeah.”

"Maybe that's why we're all bound together. We're too strong."

“Probably to…also keep whatever the hell is in you bound.” I said carefully. “But who knows…cause this is all getting way too complicated, especially with Faust somehow causing the Stick world to get set on fire somehow…and stealing my food.”

"Well, hopefully we'll reach the end of this journey soon."

“I don’t think it’ll be soon for me, but if you need to head off and spend time with your Fiance that’s fine.” I said honestly. “I still have to do some cross country work to either close portals or just meet new people.’

"I can wait. Besides, you look like you could use some help and a friend."

“Yes on…both accounts.” I said nervously. “Because damn it would I be super lonely and confused this entire time…”

I put the little planet in my storage pocket and we continued through the forest. Eventually I could smell and hear the familiar sounds and smell of big city activity and excess garbage.

Oddly, it reminded me of home.

We walked into the city, looking around at all the busy ponies walking or flying around. Neat.

“So…I remember this place being called ‘Baltimare’...but I didn’t expect it to literally just be Baltimore.” I brought up.

"It's definitely a large city. No signs of commotion though."

“Thankfully.” I sighed, but my stomach growled. “Well…most I had was some fruit from the Thestral Village…so time to ruin my stomach with some good ol fashion city food.”

"You do know the odds of meat based products here are slim at best right?"

“As long as I’m not eating flowers or hay I don’t care.” I shrugged. “Plus, it’s Baltimore, what place wouldn’t have at least one place that sells something not common?” I asked, knowing there has to be some race that eats at minimum fish in this place.

"Maybe. At the very least I bet we can find fish."

“Which would be good.” I nodded in agreement. “And…I just remembered that there is that wind crystal pegasus in my pocket world…”

"Really? She a friend?"

“Well…kinda.” I said carefully. “Took my fight with her easily but…well, she has potential and is friendly enough.”

“Maybe make her a student?"

“Well…maybe?” I hummed. “I never took on students and…well I can teach her some humility considering she tried sassing me during our fight.”

"Never took on a student before? I'm surprised."

“I’ve mostly been…by myself just doing my own thing…having enough of an attention span to master whatever element and weapon combination I can think of but…never really putting in the effort to meet or fight other’s until I got to this world.” I said honestly.

"Never huh? Then how can you claim to be a Master at Arms having never tested your metal against another?"

“Okay, I mean more in the ‘after I mastered it’ situation.” I corrected. “Cause I did find masters, I did do what was necessary for me to train properly and become a proper master, I’m not dumb…but after that I suppose I wanted to be like my Idol’s and…just never got too it I guess.” I explained carefully. “Faust said this was my chance to ‘go on a journey like my heroes did’...”

"Think this is a bit more intense than what they did."

“Maybe, the only time I’ve heard about Stick Figures in this world was from some Parasprite Queen that I killed…and then Chrysalis saying that one of us…not only turned an entire country into a barren desert but…also slaughtered three different races of Changeling.”

"Sounds about right." Hazard nodded. "Seems these days the majority of the most naturally powerful born are also pretty psychotic."

“Well…maybe…” I said nervously. “But it can’t all be bad, cause if it was then this entire world wouldn’t be here.”

"In case you forgot, it almost wasn't."

I frowned. “It…it couldn’t have been that bad…right? I mean, that war in the north was bad but…the people of this world couldn’t have been that helpless right?”

"Hm. If you Truly believe that, then you know less than I first thought."

“I didn’t even know this place existed until…barely a month?” I said carefully. “Seriously, time has been weird given I was literally thrown half way across this continent three times over…”

"And your own home's history?"

“Only thing that I’ve learned that back home has from here is the Blacksmithing Guild…other than that, it was mostly random chance encounter by Door’s Guy and that’s about it.” I shrugged.

"I see. So that means you know nothing of your home worlds history then. Doesn't surprise me. Either there wasn't anyone left to tell the story or they didn't wanna talk about it."

“Well…from what I’ve been told by IQ, Sombra and a few others it has been a thousand years give or take if it works both ways.” I said. “No idea if that’s true but…eh.”

"Well. Let's put it like this. Before the war, Equestria's total world population was eleven billion, that's including all the several hundred intelligence races. After. A few million and twenty races survived."

I blinked, the absolute horror of how many races…how many lives were snuffed out because of this. “O-oh…”

"Now, back home used to be in the same boat. Before powers and abilities the world population was just shy of ten billion. After, it would drop and rise depending on what monster was in power and who was able to actually fight them."

“But…all the Guilds and Hyun’s Dojo keep it…at least, was able to keep it all in check without any issues…until Faust decided to become evil and start burning thing’s to the ground.”

"I mean before the Guilds."

“O-oh…” I said nervously. “This is some world building I…never thought I’d hear…”

"Well, you forget I was around back then. Before the Guilds, before the powers."

“I…suppose that’s fair.” I sighed. “Just…a lot of thing’s are getting thrown at me and I’m still trying to process…mother fucker, I don’t have money…” I groaned, remembering that what little money I got was spent on other important things.

"Is that important?"

"Considering I don't have any currency to buy food…" I sighed.

"I see. Hm… wonder if it still works." Hazard said, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a small pouch. He reached in several bits came out. "It does."

“And…what do you have there?” I inquired. “Some money printing bag?”

"It's connected to a vault Celestia and I shared for funds. I was curious if it still worked, looks like it does."

“That works.” I nodded. “Alright…time to get some food.”

At that moment I cursed as I heard screaming.

“Oh god damn it…” I groaned, rushing over to see who the hell is causing problems now. “Can’t I go one god damn day without something interrupting me before I eat?”

"Try this." Hazard said, handing me a bottle of glowing orange liquid as they ran next to me.

I nodded, uncorking the bottle and drinking the glowing orange liquid and hoping it’ll help me before my sudden fight.

It tasted like orange juice and drinking it felt like drinking a protein shake with its texture.

"Okay, that feels better." I said with a smile, feeling like I drank the equivalent of a senzu bean as I vanished from some common folks eyes and sped off towards the problem.

I soon arrived at a large dock where the water from the sea was rising up in unnatural ways.

"Excuse me!" I called out, readying two electric enchanted returning Chakrams. "Whomst the fuck?"

Walking up from one of the flooded docks was a lapis lazuli blue stick person, long flat blue hair. "And who are you?" She asked me.

"My name's Simon, who are you and why are you flooding the docks?"

"My name is Aqua and these seas are so pure, so clean, but cities with ports like these are starting to throw their filth and trash into the seas."

"Ma'am, this is Pony Baltimore." I said like a fast food cashier. "The fact it's as clean and pure as you say it is is astounding."

"And to ensure that, this city will be flooded to keep it that way." She said, water rising up and rushing down the docks and onto the roads.

I put away one of my lightning Chakram as I pulled out a Water Staff. “How about no!” I shouted, slamming my staff down as the water stopped and started to recede. “Yeah, I’m not letting you kill thousands of people just because you're an environmentalist, lady.”

"You think your staff can stand against my power?"

“Fully? Maybe. But that’s not what I need.” I said, forming a dry circle around me and throwing my Lightning Chakram straight to where she was, which was knee deep in salt water. “Thunder Crash!” I shouted, electricity arcing from my weapon and rushing straight towards the water lady.

The impact struck… and she chuckled. "Water conducts electricity, what made you think it would hurt me?" She asked, making a water whip that the electricity flowed through.

Oh Fuck!

“Oh you can go fuck yourself with ignoring basic ass science.” I growled, disbanding my Chakram and pulling out a Ground Claymore. “Alright, dealing with Salt Water here…boils and freezes a lot slower…” I thought to myself quickly, trying to think on the fly how to deal with this bitch as I blocked the sudden whip crack, thankful that the earth diffused the electricity.

I know I can freeze or boil her but all the salt…

I need to remove the salt. Which weapon do I have that does that?

I dodged and blocked the giant whips, trying to think before…wait. “Oh I know.” I said, stabbing the water with my Earth Claymore. “Great Attractor!” I said, and even though I heard the lady laughing thinking I was completely insane, it slowly died down as she saw the blade get…a whole fuck ton bigger as it collected all the salt in the water. “There we go,” I smiled, pulling out a Fire Scimitar. “Eruption!” I snapped, raising the scimitar up as fire erupted under the water as it started to boil at an insane rate.

She screamed as the water around and possibly within her boiled to steam too fast for her to react, and when all the steam outside was gone she was on the ground.

"That was fast." Hazard said, walking back up from… wherever he went.

“Yeah…that seemed…too easy…” I said carefully, feeling like that was just a clone and not the actual stick girl. “All the other fight’s were a pain in the ass…so what the hell.”

"Perhaps you've just grown stronger."

“I mean, maybe?” I questioned. “I know I’m a lot more versatile than most…hmm…” I hummed, gently walking over to the prone stick figure lady and checked her pulse, hoping I didn’t kill her cause if I did defeat her she should have teleported back to our world if that happened.

There was no pulse…

I started to panic, flipping her over and trying to get her heart started. “Oh god damn it, something’s not right here!” I said, trying to do well practiced CPR on her to try and get her back alive. “She was supposed to go back! What the fuck!?” I thought to myself frantically, trying to think of how the hell this didn’t work like normal.

"Well you did boil her alive." Hazard said, kneeling down next to me. "CPR can't revive her from that."

“Can you save her?” I asked frantically. “This wasn’t supposed to happen! Something very wrong is happening, everytime I defeat someone, either through them unable to fight or a lethal blow, they go back to my world…what the hell…”

"I can't help… but… the other guy can…" Hazard muttered.

“Can create a goddamn planet with nothing but dirt but can’t…” I shook my head. “I know you’ll hate me, and I know Celestia will hate me more…but this isn’t supposed to happen, and…I don’t know what to do…”

"Our last… member, can help her. Help you, but he won't do so without persuasion." Hazard said. "I warn you, once he is out, bringing any of us out again won't be an easy task."

“I understand…” I started to tear up. “Just…please…I’m so sorry for asking this Hazard…”

Hazard nodded, picking up one of my weapons and delivering a swift shank into their own neck.

The bright light and chains appeared again, but this time something was different. The chains spun around faster, faster, the light dulled and shifted to a pale red hue until the chains seemed to unravel.

The light faded away and I actually stood up and took several steps back in terror. The being before me was wrapped in chains, the chains linked to thick hooks pierced through it's limbs, two gigantic wings stained in blood, pierced with hooked and oozing an ichor-like substance for blood. Their body seemed to be made out of stars and space, and it's head bore two horns, a cracked black halo above them.

It's eyes opened, crimson red and predatory. "Ahhh. It has been so, so long since I've been free to roam." They sighed, lifting an arm to their neck and rolling their head, the chains clanking as it did until a pop came out.

“Uh…hi there …” I said nervously. “Can…I get some help?”

"And you, Simon." They said, moving with unnatural fluidity for the injuries upon them. "I owe you for this freedom. And so I'll do as you ask. For now."

“Can you please bring Aqua back to life?” I asked. “I beat her in a fight but…she didn’t go back to our world, she…I…I killed her…” I said sadly, shaking a bit as I did this horrid thing.

"Such a simple request. If you insist." They said, placing a clawed finger to her chest.

Immediately, she took a breath, coughing and getting her breathing under control.

In a flash, she was gone.

"And now she is back to where she belongs."

“Thank you…” I sighed. “Thank you so much…this…this shouldn’t have happened to begin with so I don’t know what’s going on…”

"You've gotten stronger Simon, nothing to be ashamed of. With greater power comes the quicker downfall of your enemies, and yes some will die, but that's to be expected."

“Not to be expected when I’m supposed to beat them and send them back damn it.” I frowned. “That’s not right…we’ve moved past the need for killing each other…”

"Oh, that's adorable." They chuckled. "No matter the era, intelligent life will always find a reason to kill one another."

“And they also always find a reason to not kill one another.” I frowned. “Killing isn’t right…it’s never been right…”

Again, they chuckled. "Oh my boy Simon you've clearly never been in a true life or death fight. How depressing."

“I did!” I said carefully. “Twice since coming here, once against a Duster, a cowboy with Sand Powers, and the Parasprite Queen.” I answered bluntly. “And Duster was sent back to our world when I ‘killed’ him, or at least dealt a lethal blow where he went back as if this never happened.”

"And of this Parasprite Queen?"

“Well…that was her fault for trying to throw a mountain at me.” I said nervously.

"So there is blood on your hands. Fun." They smirked, their smile seemed to… phase, if that made sense. "Come on then Simon. Let's go toughen you up, get some blood stains on your skin and real experience under your belt."

“I’m going to need you to cease and desist mother fucker.” I said bluntly. “Cause we don’t do that here, and I will bitch smack you to make sure you know that.” I said, knowing that technically I did kill that queen, but it was more…like a sapient plague from what they said and I wasn’t going to allow that to happen.

"Oh that's cute, you think you can hurt me." They chuckled. "But I'm afraid you aren't in control here now Simon. Let's go!"

They snapped their fingers, a pool or blood opening under me and he grabbed my arm and dragged us both in.

“Princess wait!” Twilight shouted, the violet unicorn and all her friend’s running after both Princesses and Discord through hallways Twilight never knew existed.

“Why do you think the Dimensional Boundaries are breaking this fast?” Celestia asked Luna and Discord as the three made their way to a room none of them wanted to reopen.

"I don't know. Whatever it is, if he is out and about again then those walls could shatter whenever he's bored." Discord hissed.

“I know it was to save a Life…Simon is still so young to take a life, even if the Parasprite Queen was…an outlier.” Luna said in a mild panic, fearing what that rat bastard could do while they were heading to their personal Armory.

“Can someone please explain what the Hay is going on!?” Rainbow Dash asked incredulously. “Who was that? Why didn’t Aqua get sent back like the others? And where in Equestria are we going?”

"That, Rainbow Dash, was a being whose power over the realms of death match Hazard's powers over the creation of life. He doesn't have a real name as far as we know but we all called him Blood."

“Wh-what’s going to happen to Simon?” Fluttershy asked worriedly.

“Terrible, Horrible things if we don’t make it in time.” Celestia said. “There have only been a select few that have taken down Blood in a fight, fewer still that have done it in a one on one match…and it was only by a miracle that the three of us were able to put him down the first time.” The solar diarch said, skidding to a halt as the group finally made it to a giant, ornate and heavily armored door, etched with the symbol of ancient Ponish Runes and Stick Figure magic symbols. “Over a thousand years…”

"I really hoped we'd never need these again." Luna sighed. "The hard part will be getting to Blood's dimension."

“Wh-what is this?” Twilight asked in awe.

“Something even I wish we’d never have Twilight…” Discord answered, his voice somber as he, Celestia, and Luna put a claw/hoof on the door in specific spots and channeled some of their magic into it. Ancient gear’s and magic resonating, awakening from it’s supposed eternal slumber in time of crisis as it opened up to reveal an Armory the likes of which hasn’t been seen in generations.

The weapons inside were irradiating power the likes of which made the element bearers fur coats stand on edge. The armor, two sets fit for the sisters frames and one fit for Discords unique frame, all floating in the air ready to be worn.

“This…is our Armory…” Celestia said, nostalgia filling her somber tone as she trotted over to her armor.

“This…this is…beyond what I could ever imagine enchanting and forging could ever go…” Twilight said in awe.

“And hopefully it never will.” Celestia stated simply.

“Blood is…really that dangerous huh?” Pinkie asked, fear filling her voice as she was thinking how bad this truly was as her Pinkie Sense only told her to run and hide and hope thing’s blow over.

"Whatever Blood is, he is no mere Stick Figure. His power…. Is unlike any being we've ever crossed before." Luna said.

"What can he do?" Applejack asked.

"Complete and total control over death itself. If he wants, he can keep his opponents from dying no matter how badly their bodies are destroyed. Ripped limb from limb. Bones and bodies crushed into gore, and still, by his will they live, forced to endure pain the likes no being, god or mortal, should ever endure, and he can pull souls from the Ether, not just reviving them but he can also enslave them, forcing the dead to fight and fueling them with rage and unholy cosmic power." Luna said.

"Let's just say, last time he was out, Equis used to have more continents." Discord added.

“Wait, is…is that why there are so many ruin’s in the oceans?” Twilight asked worriedly. “But…but what about those Old Gods down there?”

“Well, Thuly got some real nice ocean front property that day…” Celestia sighed. “The others…well, they did at least make sure the veil between life and death weren’t stressed too much after that…”

"So, he's basically death in physical form?" Rarity asked.

“Pretty much.” Celestia said, as the three ageless being’s started to don their ancient, but still beyond advanced armor.

“We can only hope that Simon can hold off Blood’s antics for long enough…” Luna said.

“Oh I’m sure he’s fine.” Discord said.

“SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT!” I panicked as I ran away from a massive hoard of the enraged undead as the rat bastard was cackling like a loon.

“Just~ fine.” Discord said nervously.

"Can you three even get there? To this personal dimension of his?" Fluttershy asked.

"Not easily. But odds are, our attempts to enter will catch his attention and he'll drag us in anyway. I imagine he'd happily enjoy a rematch." Discord sighed.

“We’ll win.” Celestia said, grabbing her Warhammer, Helios’s Wrath, in her magic as the hammer head’s insides started to glow with power. “We have to.”

"We best take the extra weapons for Simon." Luna said.

"What should we do while you're gone?" Twilight asked.

“Grab the Elements and keep watch in the Throne Room, if Blood does anything, the Elements are strong enough to keep a hold on the barrier’s for a time.” Celestia explained. “You are our last line of Defense if things go wrong…”

"You three will be alright… right?" Fluttershy asked.

"I promise, Fluttershy." Discord said, he and the two Alicorns packing their weapons and leaving.

Once the three were far enough away, Luna spoke up. "You lied to her."

"We last fought Blood thousands of years ago, face it, we aren't young, me especially, odds are… one or all three of us might die."

"I know… you didn't want to make her cry."

“None of us are dying.” Celestia answered bluntly, her mane and tail slowly losing their rainbow and becoming that of pure fire. “We have too much to lose if we die…we’ve all lost too much, and I’m not losing you two…”

"With Blood, knowing what he can do, we'll be lucky if he let's us die. Remember he spent fifteen years…" Luna shivered, nearly losing her balance as unholy memories resurfaced.

"We barely won last time Tia." Discord said, helping Luna stand back up. "Like Luna said… we'll be lucky if he let's us die."

Celestia sighed. “I know…” The solar diarch shook her head. “One death…it always starts with One True Death for thing’s to spiral out of control.”

To be continued...