Life Was Gonna Be This Way
You sat on the leather seat of the bus as it pulled away from your house. You were the first to be picked up. That’s how it always was. It wasn’t like most buses where they’d pick you up on the side of the road. No. This was a special sort of bus.
Though, you could obviously tell because of how its size is practically a third of a normal bus. Yes. You rode on the short bus. A bus only reserved for stories told around the campfire. A bus that is dedicated solely to transport those outcast from normal society thanks to either physical or mental conditions. To ride on one means that you were afflicted by such.
Your condition wasn’t as bad as most other cases, though. Your mood, however, was pretty bad. One moment you can be as bright and sunny as the day and another you could break down into tears like you just saw your mom dying after she ran over Bambi’s mom. You tapped your finger on the window. You just remembered that you had forgotten to take your medicine this morning.
Though, that’s when you notice the bus wasn’t going down the usual street.
“Hey, we’re gonna make a stop. We’re picking up a new student.” There was a benefit to riding a short bus. Your bus driver, a tan skinned man in his forties by the name of Eric, spoke to you and the other students on the bus regularly. Guess he figured to brighten up your days before high school tore them down. The bus stopped by what looked to be a pretty fancy house. Granted, it was in a neighborhood full of other fancy houses, but for a bus to be in this part of the town…
The owner must have some serious balls to have this bus come and have their child hop on every single morning, all while their neighbors could see said bus. You couldn’t help but feel sorry for them. Even more so when you saw a woman opening the door and leading their child out to the bus.
“There she is!” Eric said as he waved his arm and pointed to the two. You breathe in as the door opened. The woman led her daughter in as if she was a lost animal. As you saw the girl walk in, you saw her vivid blue eyes and fluffy, icy blue hair. She looked to be around your age and wore the standard high school uniform of navy blue pants, a gray blue sweatshirt and a dark blue undershirt.
“Come here.” Her mom said as you saw the girl walk towards her while sweeping a stick on the ground from left to right, hitting your seat as she did. When she got to her mom, she stopped and sat on the seat assigned to her. “Thank you. It’ll be a few days before Snowdrop gets adjusted to the bus.” She said.
“No problem.” He said as she got out of the bus. Once she was five feet away, the bus drove off. The bus picked up the usual people, including those on wheelchairs. You stayed in your seat. However, when the bus driver got out of the bus to get the wheelchair lift ready, you turned around to look at the girl. You didn’t say anything, though she didn’t seem to notice you. She seemed blissfully unaware of your existence.
The mechanics of the lift whirled as you sat back into your seat. You recognized the girl with gray braided twintails, a bandaged forehead, and a dollar store quality wheelchair. It was Jinx, a poor girl who lost the use of her legs in a traffic accident a year ago.
“Hey! A new kid!” Jinx’s voice rang across the bus as she wheeled herself to the front. Despite her accident, however she seemed just as bright as ever.
“H-huh? Who’s there?” For the first time, you heard her voice and never before had you heard something so soft and fragile. There was a slight twinge with her voice. You decided to try and help her.
“Oh, that’s Jinx.” You knelt on the bus seat like you did to get a look at her. For the first time, she looked at you with her eyes and spoke directly to you.
“O-oh! Who are you?” She asked.
“I’m Anon...” You extended your hand forward, though it just hung in front of her face, as if she was unsure what to do with it.
“H-hi… I’m Snowdrop.” She said. Snowdrop. That was a lovely name. It took five seconds before you took your hand away, knowing full well she’s not gonna shake it anytime soon. She soon spoke up. “Jinx, could you say something?” She asked.
“Hey, Snowdrop!” Jinx said.
“H-hi…” She slightly waved. The rest of the bus ride went uneventful save for the various introductions you and the other passengers have to make. You often found that weird, but you didn’t let it get to you.
The bus arrived at the school as you were the first to get off. You only went back just to see why Snowdrop hadn’t gotten off. Unlike most of the others on the bus, she seemed capable to get up on her own without help. You approached her.
“H-hey…” You said to her. She looked at you.
“Anon?” She asked.
“Um… We’re here. Aren’t you going to get off the bus?” I asked.
“Oh… Well… Could you help me out?” She asked. The bus driver didn’t seem to mind. You nodded. You were about to give her your hand, but you realized how she didn’t notice you before. You, instead, decided to say you were gonna give your hand and see if there was a difference.
“Take my hand.” You said. She instantly grabbed it and you felt her soft, warm hand touch yours. You stopped for a brief moment to admire how beautiful Snowdrop looked. You softly pulled her out of her seat and led her by the hand over to the school entrance where two teachers were coming out.
“Ah, that’s nice! Anon’s helping out a student.” One of the teachers said.
“Morning, Ms. Peachbottom.” You said. Ms. Peachbottom hovered her hand on yours.
“We’ll take it from here.” She said as she grabbed Snowdrop’s hand. You let go and walked away, looking at Snowdrop as she stared blankly at your general direction. You smiled softly and walked through the hall. You recognized this soft glow in your heart as love.
“Heeeeeey!” You heard a mad stampede of shoes clacking on the plastic flooring as you nearly got rundown by a well-endowed blonde woman. She stopped, only to hold you as your head rested softly on her shoulder. “How’s my favorite friend?” Derpy asked you.
“Pretty good.” You said. To be fair, you were correct in that regard. Usually there’d be one screw already loose in your day, but here, it seemed to be no hitch. You put your backpack away and took out the books needed for first period. Derpy walked with you to class while you gave her a smile. It was no secret that you and Derpy had been dating and when you approached the door outside of the classroom, you and her made your public display of affection.
First, it began with a hug, then what became a peck on the lips became full on Frenching. You adored the way she hugged you as you kissed. You loved her bubbly giggle when you hugged back. When you held her, it felt like you were at the most comfortable place in the world. You let go of her and entered the class room. You smiled, feeling like nothing will wreck your day…
Then came second period, when you were called into the office.
You went into the office and sat. Your heart raced. You know being called to the office meant one of two things.
One, your mother came by to pick you up for something, which would inevitably result in you getting home early.
Or two, you’re about to be scolded by a teacher.
The lack of a warm, if rather tight, hug once you entered the office told you very well which of those two was the case.
The door swung open as Ms. Spitfire walked into the room. Following her was…
Derpy.
Your blood began to run cold as she walked slowly into the room. Spitfire glanced at you as you bolted up and followed her to one of the offices inside. You sat down next to Derpy. You shot a bit of a glance at her. You still remembered the first time you met her.
You were invited to a party filled with other disabled children. At first, you feared you’d be lumped into the less abled children, the ones who can’t speak and can only moan out and flail their arms about, but thankfully, this party was full of either socially awkward people with mental conditions or people who are either slow in thinking or had learning disabilities.
Either case, you were pretty sociable with them, even if you were the wallflower of the bunch. You arrived just when the party was being set up and you, tired from getting to said party via bus, sat on a chair.
That’s when she rushed in, tripped, and fell on top of you.
Thankfully, the chair didn’t break and you caught her in your arms. You never had any good hugs from anyone but close relatives before, so this was a new sensation, especially when she held you longer than what was normally allowed. She pulled back and you could see her.
Admittedly, she was about a seven out of ten in terms of cuteness, but you had a nice glow in your heart. You looked at her, and it’s as if the entire world went monochrome, with the only thing in color being this blonde.
“Sorry about that…” Derpy giggled.
“N-no… That’s okay…” You blushed. The rest of the night was spent in close proximity to Derpy. She was a pretty clumsy girl, so whenever she tripped, you always were there to pick her up. You were perhaps her prince in shining armor.
You were a huge romantic. You had hit that age of puberty where you viewed girls as something other than icky. Though, not to the degree that most teenage boys reach to. Perhaps it was because of all the children animated films that cashed in on the Disney formula of falling in love with a person you barely met engineering your brain to accept that as love.
You never knew how one would fall in love, so you presumed that the feeling inside your heart each time you caught Derpy in your arms and she looked at you with her wall eyes was that feeling that the princes and princesses sing to each other over a wishing well or in the middle of a starry night.
“Do you know why I called you two here?” Ms. Spitfire’s sharp tone struck you like a ruler.
“N-no…” Bullcrap. You knew exactly why you were called here. Especially with Derpy.
See, it was no secret that the people teaching the mentally disabled were teaching them on how to cope with the outside world. These include stuff like how to get a job, public transit, and the topic you’re definitely going to be hearing from this teacher’s mouth…
“Well, I’ve been noticing that you guys have been getting too… touchy feely.” Good Touch vs. Bad Touch. You and Derpy shared a lunch period together and as soon as you two finished your food, you and her would walk around the school and usually sit to cuddle. Though that was it. Cuddling. And by God, was it the most relaxing activity in that whole school. More so than goofing around on the computer. “We taught Derpy all about how she shouldn’t hug people randomly. That there’s a time and a place for that.” She said.
You saw Derpy frown. This was more of a Derpy problem than it was an Anon problem. Hell, you could have just been in class while Spitfire chewed out Derpy like a strip of gum.
Though, when Spitfire looked to you, that’s when you realized why she called you here.
“And you have been enabling her to do such an act. There’s going to be strict consequences if you don’t stop…” She said.
“L-like?” You asked. Ms. Spitfire smirked.
“For one, I can have it so that your cafeteria privileges are revoked.” She said.
“B-but where will I eat? What will I eat?” You asked.
“I’ll be keeping a close eye on you as you eat in the core resource room. And I do hope your mom can pack you a lunch…” Your mom had such a busy schedule that packing your lunches was out of the question. In fact, you could still feel the wad of money she gave you at the start of the week.
This was an ultimatum. It had to be. You looked at Derpy as she frowned. Your body became as cold as ice. You could almost shiver with how chilled to the bone you were. Spitfire didn’t even need to tell you what the choice is.
Either you lose your right to eat food or you lose your love. Derpy looked to you to see your response. You grimaced and dug your fingernails right into your legs. You had no choice.
“F-fine… I won’t see Derpy again.” Okay, that escalated quickly, you thought. That’s when you realized that the lack of medication meant you pretty much let your anxiety get the better of you. Spitfire didn’t exactly smile at your response… as for Derpy…
It tore your heart in half to see her begin to uncontrollably cry. Your heart tore itself into quarters when you had to tell yourself that you can’t hold her and comfort her. You’re no longer allowed to be a part of her life. You weren’t allowed to love her anymore. You weren’t allowed to love.
You will never find love.
You went back to your class and it’s pretty obvious to the other students that you weren’t yourself.
“H-hey, you okay?” A girl in your class asked you as you just stared at your textbook. You just got up and ran out of the classroom. You didn’t want to tell them. Would they understand the pain of breaking up?
As you ran through the halls, you notice two teachers stop you.
“Hey, Anon, are you alright?” Ms. Peachbottom asked you.
“…” You didn’t want to speak to them. You just wanted to run. The longer you stayed in school, the longer you could feel pain. Before you did, though, Ms. Peachbottom grabbed your hand.
“I know it’s difficult, but you need to calm down.” Calm down? You just lost the only thing in your world that made sense. The only comforting spot in the world. You were torn from her by Ms. Spitfire and you’re being told to calm down?
Fuck that noise.
You pulled her hand away violently while making your anger known through a growl. You tried to make a break for it, but the other teacher, Mrs. Harshwhinny, grabbed you, took your arms and folded them together, restraining them. Such an uncomfortable feeling of pain. You tried to break free, but she held the arms tighter.
“Get him in the room!” Mrs. Harshwhinny said. The room. It was made to be a place of calm and reflection. Closed off from the world to allow those to relax.
At least that’s what it was meant to be on paper.
In execution, it was something far worse. You were dragged to a gray padded room with a rough gray carpet. You were soon tossed in. As you tumbled onto the rough carpet, the door immediately closed. You ran to the door and tried to open it by turning the knob, but it was stuck. It wasn’t locked, as there were no mechanisms. You saw the teacher through the mesh window and knew that one of them was holding the knob.
You heard the beeping of the school bell. It was time for lunch. No! Not now! Your only time to eat in school! You banged on the door.
“LET ME GO TO LUNCH!” You shouted. They ignored you. You continued to scream your head off for the next few moments. The anxiety has been unleashed into pure unadulterated rage. This continued for the entirety of the lunch period.
By that point, you were drained and hungry. The door opened as Ms. Peachbottom came to you and helped you up.
“Have you calmed down now?” She asked you. You had no words. She escorted you to the cafeteria. It was closing up, but they had just a slice of pizza to give away before closing. Thankfully Ms. Peachbottom paid for you. She took you to a table in the empty cafeteria and watched you eat. She tried to talk to you, but you ignored her.
Everything afterward was a blur. You had half a mind to thank Ms. Peachbottom for taking you to your next class and helping you reintegrate with what was going on, but your other half blocked it away. You just wanted the day to end.
Thankfully, the day did end. You were back on the bus. You were sitting in your seat. You were all alone as Eric went to go get the kids. You…
Were alone.
As you sat in your seat, the revelation of never seeing Derpy again hit you to the core. Like your rage, your sadness was unleashed as you broke down into a fit of tears.
“This way, Snowdrop.” You heard Ms. Peachbottom escort Snowdrop over to the bus. You were too busy bawling to notice her, though. That’s when you felt something push you to the window. You looked over, tears stopping.
Snowdrop was looking at you. You never saw her icy blue eyes up close before, but you were blown away with how beautifully unique they were. Unlike other eyes, her eyes looked very cloudy. Even her pupils were a cloudy blue, almost merging with her iris. She placed her hand on your face, feeling it up and wiping away your tears. She smiled and placed her hand down on your lap.
“Hello.” She said.
“H-hi…” You said back. She took a moment to respond.
“Are you alright, Anon?” She asked you.
“Yeah… I’m okay.” You said. You just saw her frown.
“No… You’re not okay.” She said. Those words just slammed you like a hammer. They were so true. Eric went on the bus and went to Snowdrop.
“Hey, um… I think you got on the wrong seat.” Eric said.
“Oh… Um… Sorry. I’m still getting used to the bus and thought this was my seat. Could you help me up?” She asked. Eric took her hand and took her to her seat. You laid your head against the window and just cried a bit.
As the bus pulled into Snowdrop’s home and her mom came out to take her in, you saw Snowdrop give you a glance. Other than that bright spot in your life, the rest of your day was a blur. You remembered you and your dad having a talk about love, what Ms. Spitfire told him, and what you told him in response. Other than taking you out to Freddy Fazbear’s, there was nothing that would fix your life.
Nothing except those calming blue eyes…
