THE SIXTH DAY "PONYVILLE" (2 THREATS LOCATED) 11:23 AM

Ponyville was covered with several layers of gray clouds and fog. Not everypony was out enjoying the gloomy weather, but those who were got to see quite a sight. Anonymous was taking a stroll through the town, which was a rare event. The anticipation to see aliens dies down once you realize the only alien in Equestria is hiding in a library's basement, which is guarded by an Element of Harmony.

Anonymous wasn't strolling to clear his mind this time. Today he was walking with a purpose. A bell rang as the door to Sugarcube corner opened up. The mare behind the counter's eyes almost popped out of her head when she saw her customer. She cleared her throat and regained her composure.

"Why, hello there Mr. Alien. How can I help you today?" Mrs. Cake asked as Anonymous walked closer to counter.

"Do you have any baklava?"

"Why, yes we do."

"I'll take however much you've got in stock."

Mrs. Cake turned around to retrieve the desserts from her pantry. He seemed friendly enough, but that didn't stop this feeling of anxiety in the pit of her stomach.

"Can I ask why you've come outside all the sudden?"

"Uhh... My friends and I are going to have a picnic." Anonymous explained as he looked around at the shop's decor.

"That sounds wonderful. You know, I don't think we'll need much of Pinkie's help today if you would like her to come along with you."

"That sounds all right." Anon gently shook his head in agreement.

A joyful scream came from upstairs and slid down the railing of the stairs.

"So where are we going? Who else is coming? Is it gonna be a dancing picnic?" Pinkie asked while preforming crazy gestures.

"So far, it's just you, me, Twilight and Spike. As for location, I haven't picked anything out yet. I was thinking of something low-key, though. Say... Saturn's rings?"

Pinkie gasped. "Saturn? As in that place with the giant belt around its waist? I'd love to go there, it sounds like the perfect place to have a baklava picnic!"

"That'll be eighteen bits, dearie." Mrs. Cake told Anon while placing several boxes of baklava on the counter.

"Here you go." Anonymous dug into his pockets and pulled out a pouch filled with a decent amount of gold coins.

"Keep the change."

"Why thank you!" Mrs. Cake lit up in happiness. Any worried feelings she had were melted away by the visitor's kindness.

Anonymous picked up the boxes with one hand and exited the shop with a hopping Pinkie Pie.

"I thought that was awfully nice of you. Where did you get all that money anyways? You don't have a job."

Anonymous turned his head to look at Pinkie Pie as he explained.

"My nanobots transmuted mercury into gold using slow neutrons. I was tempted to just use pyrite coins, but that would have been mean."

Pinkie tilted her head in confusion. "I didn't understand anything you said, but I'm glad you're not being mean."

"So, how are we even going to get to Saturn?" Spike asked Anonymous as the alien struggled to pack his remaining drinks into a picnic basket.

"We'll walk there."

Spike rolled his eyes at Anonymous' sarcasm.

Twilight shook her head, uncertain about the trip. "Even at light speed, it would take about an hour to get to Saturn."

Anonymous laughed out loud.

"Light speed? What makes you think we'll be going light speed? I'll have you know I practically invented the warp drive on my planet."

"How long is it going to take? I can't spend all day in space, I have to get back to my bed before nine!" Pinkie remarked.

"Don't worry, this should take no longer than ten minutes," Anonymous explained while picking up the remaining baskets.

"And... Let's roll out."

Twilight was the last to leave the library since she had to lock up. Anonymous' spaceship shaped like a screw was a few meters away from the door, riddled with graffiti. Twilight prayed to any god that ever existed that he wouldn't count that as a strike.

"Darn kids." Anon casually said while opening the doors.

The interior of the Mini-Screw looked the same as it did the last time everyone was inside of it. The plush couch looked even more inviting and the terminal was still rapidly flashing nonsensical images.

"Come on in, make yourself at home." Anon waved everyone inside.

"This is great! I can't wait to see Saturn up close!" Twilight tried to contain her excitement.

The alien walked up to the computer and pulled out a keyboard from the wall and started typing intensely on it. The images changed colors and slid to the right side of the screen, while a graph of the planets appeared on the left side of the screen.

"Initialize warp at one-fifty k feet above sea level at three C's per second..." He mumbled to himself while typing.

ACCESS DENIED

The words filled the screen and blocked all of Anonymous's activities. He looked at the terminal with extreme confusion. Apparently, this had never happened before. He tried again.

ACCESS DENIED

He let out a sigh and walked to the side of the terminal and started dismantling it.

"What's going on?" Twilight asked.

"Technical difficulties." He replied while ripping cords apart in the inside of the terminal.

The lights flickered on and off randomly. Eventually, they stayed illuminated and Anonymous stood up in front of the terminal. When he pressed the button this time, the text did not appear.

The Mini-Screw violently jerked around for a while before it got off the ground. The ship emitted a sound similar to a centrifuge spinning. The engines powered up significantly more than when Twilight and her friends docked with The Flying Castle last time. After around a half minute, the ship was already in the mesosphere.

"We're not getting aboard The Castle?" Spike wondered out loud.

"No, I don't trust it to take us to Saturn."

Everypony felt like they were getting heavier and heavier. If he kept accelerating, ribs were going to be broken. Anonymous ignored common sense and continued going faster.

"What's going on with you?" Twilight yelled, unable to take the pressure anymore.

"Nothing, it's just--"

Anonymous screamed and pounded on his keyboard as fast as he could. The ship rapidly decelerated and spun around in circles. Everyone was thrown to the ceiling in the process.

Twilight was about to chastise Anonymous for his poor flying abilities, but then she saw what was in front of them on the terminal. It was The Flying Castle. Somehow it had followed them all the way up into the heavens without anyone on board.

"But you're over here on this spaceship. So, who's flying that one?" Pinkie comically stroked her hoof with her chin as she thought.

"Why are you so afraid of your own ship?" Spike asked the hyperventilating alien.

"I'll explain it later. Just stick close to me when we dock."

Anonymous wasn't going to avoid The Flying Castle any longer. The Mini-Screw was stopped and the Castle was slowly but surely getting closer to them. Anon was about to say something, but he clutched his chest before he could get it out. He slowly wobbled to the couch, exhaling when he hit its cushions.

"I'm feeling... tired."

"You should have taken a nap before you brought us on your picnic. That must be why your piloting is so bad!" Pinkie gasped in realization.

"Can we help in any way?" Twilight raised her hoof to check his pulse.

Nothing. Not a single beat.

Anonymous whispered something. Whatever hallucinations he was having, he was enjoying a full-on conversation with them. Twilight could only make out one thing that he mumbled.

"I'll stop. You win."

The spaceship rumbled as it integrated with The Flying Castle. The sounds of mechanical latches grabbing onto the Mini-Screw were in healthy supply. The metal doors slid to reveal a completely different part of the mothership. Instead of the office that Twilight and her friends explored last time, it was a room full of large boxes. They weren't cardboard boxes. They were black and white rectangular boxes that flashed lights all in a giant array. Wires poured out of the front of every one of them and connected to the left box's back.

Twilight would have kept on looking at the room, but Anonymous grabbed her shoulder and pulled her down.

"Upstairs is the main control room. You all go there, I'll be up shortly." He weakly explained.

"Are you sure? You don't look too good."

"I'll be fine, just go up there."

Twilight looked at the half-dead Anonymous. This was the weakest she'd ever seen him. If he died right now, Equestria would be saved. There would be no risk of a nuclear war with him. And yet, that's not what Twilight wished for.

"I'm not leaving you here by yourself."

No response. He gently shifted around into a more comfortable position.

At the other end of the room with wires was a set of metal stairs ascending to the next level. Twilight didn't see much that could be done for her dying friend, so she turned away and walked out of the Mini-Screw.

"You two go ahead. I'm gonna sit here with him. He doesn't look too good." Spike said while sitting next to him on the couch.
Twilight wasn't going to argue. She felt unsure about leaving Spike alone in such a vast place, but she felt better that someone was watching over Anonymous.

"I hope he gets better. It'd be bad luck if he got sick during our picnic, wouldn't it?" Pinkie Pie noted while hopping around.

"I don't know. Why was he acting so strange earlier?"

"That's what happens when you go for days without sleep."

The duo had made it to the metallic stairs. The staircase was rusty and missing steps, but they both managed to climb them. The stairs went on for quite a while. Twilight guessed that there was piping in between the floors, and that's why the stairs were so long. At the top of the stairs was a concrete blast door. Strangely enough, it was open, as if it had been waiting for them.

When Twilight and Pinkie Pie walked into the control room the blast door shut behind them immediately. Twilight was surprised to see so much technology crammed into one room. There was a projector facing a giant brick wall, several hundred terminals around the room, what appeared to be vacuum tubes towards the right wall of the room and several more black boxes.

"Cool! Now we can fly anywhere in the galaxy! Do you think there's a planet made of cupcakes? I'd love to have a picnic on a planet made of cupcakes!"

"Pinkie, I really don't think we should touch anything until--"

"Ooh! The master chair!" Pinkie jumped into a reclining leather chair that was bolted to the ground. In front of her was a slightly larger terminal that had several joysticks poking out of it.

"Pinkie! We don't know how to operate this thing. Don't touch anything." Twilight got closer to her hyperactive friend, ready to undo anything she did.

"Pfft, please, Twilight. I'm not a little filly, I know better than to touch alien technology."

"Computer! Set a course for Saturn, and get us there ASAP!" Pinkie joked out loud.

The projector flickered on and a pure white picture covered the brick wall. Text slowly formed on the image, similar to how it did with the augmenting lens.

"SETTING WARP COURSE TO SATURN. SPEED AT C20."

The technology around them starting coming to life, whirring and buzzing. Something supermassive was charging up. Whatever it was, it sounded like they were in the middle of a tornado. Twilight could hear Spike yelling from downstairs, even though it was barely audiable.

"WHAT'S GOING ON?!" He shouted.

The charging sound came to a climax and slowly died out. Four high pitched beeps sounded off before the entire ship was propelled into deep space. Pinkie and Twilight were instantly thrown back against the wall of the control room. The pressure was even worse than in the Mini-Screw. Twilight tried to scream, but she couldn't. The air was sucked out of her lungs.

In the few seconds the ship was in warp, they had already passed the Moon, Mars, and the Asteroid belt. Twilight attempted to teleport to the central terminal, but the force blew her back to Pinkie when she reappeared.

In front of them was Saturn, and the ship showed absolutely no sign of stopping anytime soon.

"STOP! PLEASE!" It took all of Twilight's willpower to use her remaining breath to scream.

Still nothing, they were destined to crash into Saturn. Thankfully, it was a gas giant. The ship simply cruised through several seconds of Saturn's storms before it reached the other side of the planet. The charging sound winded down and the spaceship slowed down. Twilight and Pinkie fell off of the wall and onto the ground. Four beeping tones started counting down.

A deafening explosion radiated through the solar system. Everything was white and hot. Twilight thought she was dead. There was no way she wasn't, being dead wouldn't hurt this much. When she opened her eyes, she was surprised that she was still alive.

She couldn't say the same for Saturn, though.

What had once been a gorgeous planet with massive beautiful rings was now a yellowish-brown nebula. Steps rapidly came up towards the control room. Anonymous and Spike pushed the door open in a hurry.

"What happened?" Anonymous asked.

Twilight was terrified to tell the truth to Anon. If he was mad about it, there was no way they wouldn't be getting a strike for this. Then that'd be three strikes, and it'd be all over for Equestria. As Twilight thought this over, she realized there wasn't any possible way to hide this.

"Your ship went into warp drive and... We trashed Saturn."

Anonymous looked out the window at the giant cloud of gas. His face was empty and shocked, similar to Spike's face.
Then he did the unthinkable.

He laughed.

He was on the floor laughing so hard that tears were forming in his eyes.

"Y-You killed... Saturn!" He could barely get the words out of his mouth.

His joyfulness was contagious. Everypony else started laughing with him.

"Come on, everyone. Let's have that picnic." He said while setting down the baskets full of food.

THE SIXTH DAY "SOLAR SYSTEM EQUIS. (FORMER) PLANET SATURN." (2 THREATS LOCATED) 1:23 PM

Everybody gazed out the giant windows of the observation desk at the galaxy. They had changed everything. Now there were eight planets in the solar system and two belts. Everybody was going to be famous when they got back to Equestria.

"So, why did you panic so much?" Twilight inquired.

"I was having a heart attack. My artificial heart had to shutdown and reset, which is why I passed out." Anonymous explained while drinking a bottle of thick liquid.

"Well, I'm glad you're better because it's never a good thing when you have a picnic with an alien on Saturn and they die halfway there. That's a real bummer!" Pinkie exclaimed through bites of baklava.

"It's still beautiful, even if it is scattered across the night sky," Spike remarked while gazing at what remained of Saturn.

"You know, since we traveled faster than the speed of light, your friends will see it explode eight minutes later than you did," Anon explained.
"Why did it explode?" Spike asked the alien.

"Well, the warp drive works by using negative mass to distort space-time. The area in front of you is compressed and the area behind you is expanded. We didn't really travel faster than the speed of light, we just made the distance to Saturn two-hundred kilometers from Equis."

"Wouldn't the gravitational waves from Saturn have distorted our planet's orbit?" Twilight theorized aloud.

Anonymous stopped drinking his liquid and thought about it for a second.

"Oh, crap." He stood up and quickly ran back to the control room.

"Don't worry, if he can build a warp drive I'm sure he can put our planet back in orbit." Spike tried to put Twilight at ease.

"I think he was lying," Pinkie said after finishing her baklava.

"What do you mean?" Twilight asked.

"He said he had a heart attack, and that's why he was freaking out. But he was freaking out and then had a heart attack. He lied." Pinkie casually explained.

"Why would he lie to us?" Spike wondered out loud.

"I don't think this is the first time he's lied to us. Remember when he talked about his friend Allos?"

"Yeah, what about that?" Spike asked.

"Allos is an acronym. It stands for Artificial lifeform Linux operating system. Allos isn't his friend, it's the operating system the lens runs off of."
"Artifical life? I didn't think Anonymous was capable of that. We need to ask him what he can do."

"I agree. One day you wake up to your best alien friend ordering baklava, and the next day your world is on fire."

Twilight could barely grasp Pinkie's point, but it was a valid point.

Anonymous walked back into the observation chamber, drinking a soda.

"Alright, so... I put a few asteroids in orbit around your planet to correct its course. Hopefully, that'll happen sometime in the... Next three years?" He raised an eyebrow as he did arithmetic in his head.

"We need to talk." Spike crossed his arms, giving Anon an upset look.

"What, you'd rather see Venus? No, wait, I got it. Sagittarius A? Huh? Sound exciting?"

"Anonymous, we feel you've been... Less than honest with us." Twilight admitted.

"Fine, you caught me. Now I'm an open book. Ask me anything."

'Well, that was quick.' Twilight thought to herself.

Pinkie Pie trotted up to Anon, looking serious. "I've got a question for you. How did you get those bits?! Are you a thief?"

Anonymous looked around the observation deck, probably looking for an exit. Realizing there was none, he sighed and held his head down.
"Let's just say I can preform something similar to your 'magic'. Except for it to work, I need to be in good graces with my friend."

"What, you mean the lens?" Twilight asked.

Anonymous shushed Twilight. "He's always listening, you're never alone. Don't even talk about him!"

The room fell into an awkward silence as Anonymous' paranoia bounced off the walls.

"What exactly can you do?"

"I can force a universe to form on top of this one. Such an event would kill absolutely everyone living in this galaxy, possibly even the supercluster. I can also transmute matter into any form I want it to."

"Show me," Twilight demanded.

Anonymous held out his right hand . The air above his hand started to distort similar to the air above a fire. A small purple ball appeared in the palm of his hand, growing bigger.

"Nuclear fusion" He explained, placing the plasma golf-ball in midair in front of the ponies.

"Freaky! Can you create more cupcakes?"

Anon rolled his eyes and held out his hand again. Slowly, from bottom to top, a vanilla cupcake with pink icing formed in his hands, the wrapper excluded. Pinkie snatched it from his hands and quickly ate it.

"Mmm! Delicious." She exclaimed.

"How is this even possible? You said you didn't have magic." Twilight asked, feeling lied to.

"I'm not doing it on my own. You see... The lens is analyzing my brainwaves. It is able to interpret that into thoughts. Then it recognizes what I want to happen and tells nanobots to construct or destruct something."

"Nanobots?"

"Yes. Microscopic robots that can change the fabric of reality. If I wanted everypony on your planet dead, I could dissolve all of their brainstems in less than four seconds."

"Then why are you giving us three chances?"

"You deserve them. Now enough about me. Let's just finish this stupid picnic and get out of here." Anonymous sat down on the metal floor and pulled out another bottle.

Everypony was silent. Anonymous didn't look happy, but they didn't want to upset him further by asking him anything else.

Twilight and Spike were eating dinner all by themselves tonight. Anonymous had insisted he go to bed early because he wasn't feeling well. It was lonelier without him. They had grown used to his sarcasm and cynicism.

There was something going on with him. He was afraid to board his own ship, he had been keeping secrets from everypony, and on the way back to Equestria, he had told Twilight 'goodbye'.

Not goodnight. Goodbye.

It was disturbing, knowing what kind of power he had over everypony. But it was more unsettling to know that he was paranoid and unstable. Twilight needed to check up on him. Threat or no threats, he was still her friend. She had put construction of her bomb on halt for now. If he threatened everypony again, she could have it fully operational in around three hours.

"Anonymous?" She called as she walked down the stairs.

"Yes?" He replied, laying down on his cot while staring up at the ceiling.

"What's up with you? You haven't been yourself lately."

"Nothing's of any consequence."

Twilight raised an eyebrow.

"How so?" She asked.

"Every night at midnight, all one-hundred-thirty-three quindecillion atoms that make up this planet are scanned and backed up on a terminal."

"An impressive technological feat, but why does that upset you?"

"Nothing's of any consequence. If the world was destroyed because I got upset and launched nuclear missiles, it wouldn't matter. Everything could be rebuilt. You're safe." He explained.

"You're immortal."

Twilight looked at Anonymous. She realized that being alive as long as he had been was unnatural. He'd been through pain and pleasure that nobody could possibly imagine. He longed to die but was unable to.

"I know you've been building something behind my back. To hell with the strikes, let's have a showdown tomorrow afternoon."

Twilight continued to look at his face. He wasn't worried and he wasn't lying. If everything really could be rebuilt even if they destroyed every part of the planet, then she wasn't worried either. He wasn't an enemy to her. He was... Twilight couldn't find the word.

"Okay." Twilight told him, feeling worried that he might not even fight back. If that was the case, then this wasn't a challenge. It was a death wish.

"Five o' clock. Work as hard as you want to on your weapon, and get your affairs in order. Everything after midnight doesn't matter."

Anonymous turned over in his bed, getting ready to go to sleep. Twilight walked up the stairs and felt defiled. She was a scientist, she knew that her friends, her family, the Princesses were all just molecules. It didn't mean much to her until she found someone who had absolute power over atoms.

When it was all over and one victor would stand over the other, Twilight wouldn't feel happy. She wouldn't feel happy that Anonymous continued to live his miserable infinite existence, and she wouldn't feel happy that her home planet was destroyed. At least in one outcome, it was possible that everyone could be brought back.

That was the path she was going to take.

Author's Note

Oh man, where did that chapter title come from? Only from one of the greatest cartoons of the twenty-first century, that's where.