"Scoota-Loo, Where Are You!?"

Chapters

Pilot Episode
Episode Two: 'A Funky Time With Funkystein'
Kurse of the Kokonut Krab King
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Cockatrice
Horror of the Horseless Headman!
U.F.Oh-No!!!!
There's No Goons Like Snow Goons
Crusader's Covid Caper!!
Enormous Escargo Escapades!
"It's The Great Pumpkin, Scootaloo!"

Pilot Episode

Our tale begins deep in the bayous of southern Louisiana, amid swamp so dense you could get lost forever mere feet from civilization and fog so thick you could cut it with a knife. The calls of night birds wafted through the air as the last dying rays of the sun struggled to feebly illuminate an ancient wooden sign alongside a narrow dirt road. "Johnny's Landing: Three Miles" the sign read, guiding travelers to a settlement so tiny it made "Hole in the wall" places seem like Manhattan. Suddenly, the sign became illuminated more brightly as a new light source appeared and loomed over it. It was, or appeared to be, a man, stocky, balding, with deep jowls and an intense gaze. He was glowing (Hence the light on the sign) and inexplicably wore a pink floral-pattern dress. Looking all about, the man smirked and laughed a diabolical laugh as he sank out of sight behind a stand of swamp grass...

XXXXX

Elsewhere in the same swamp, indeed, following the same dirt road, came a van decorated in a hideous mix of colors in a psychedelic design like a refugee from the nineteen sixties cast forward in time: Mystery Machine the sides read, and she was well named considering activities of her driver and passengers. Fred Jones sat in the driver's seat, dressed as always save for the lack of an ascot. When Daphne had finally gotten her romantic intentions through his thick skull and they started dating it was the one change she had absolutely insisted on.

Naturally, Daphne herself was seated next to Fred, using her smartphone to read up to date information about the concert they were heading to while trying to ignore the loud chewing sounds coming from the back of the van, where Shaggy and Scooby were involved in yet another eating contest. Surprisingly, Velma was not up front next to Daphne. Instead she was seated with her back against the back of the driver's seat, working with the gang's newest member: A flightless orange pegasus filly named Scootaloo.

Scootaloo had fallen in with Mystery Inc. two months earlier. They had been investigating the Ghost of Mecha-Krampus (Turned out to be Old Farmer MacDonald) when she had quite literally fallen out of the sky and into Shaggy's arms. This had given the cowardly beatnik quite a fright, though in the weeks since she had grown on him, and the others as well.

"Hey guys!" Daphne said, looking up from her phone, "It says here that the concert is totally sold out now! It's gonna be standing room only!"

"I'm glad we bought our tickets early." Fred agreed.

"Like yeah!" Shaggy said from the back, where he was preparing to swallow a foot-high sandwich whole, "I wouldn't miss this for anything! Especially after all the mysteries we've had lately!"

"We have earned a break." Fred nodded.

"Can someone maybe ask Velma to take a break?" Scootaloo asked. She was covered from front to back with sensors feeding into Velma's laptop.

"I'm sorry Scoots." Velma sighed. "But how can I turn down a chance to learn more about an alien? This is the stuff Nobel's are made of."

"Yeah yeah, I get it." The filly groused, "But couldn't you at least be dividing your time between me and Scooby?"

"Ruh? Rhy ree?"

"Oh, I dunno, maybe because you're a talking dog!? I mean, dogs don't talk even on my world! And everything talks on my world!"

"Rell! I've rever..."

"Scooby! Scoots! Take it easy." Fred ordered. "I think we've got bigger fish to fry..."

As Fred slowed the Mystery Machine to a halt, everyone crowded forward to look out the windshield at what he had seen. "'Johnny's Landing: Three Miles.'" Velma read. "Freddy, there's no such place on our map... Have you gotten us lost again?"

"Oh boy like here we go again!" Shaggy complained. "Freddy, this always happens! You take a shortcut and the next thing we know we're knee-deep in a mystery with horrible creatures chasing us!"

Scootaloo popped up between Shaggy and Velma. "Shaggy's right. I mean, I've only been with you guys for two months and I've already seen Zombie Klingon Hamlet's Dad, Ghostzilla, The Atomic Skeleton, The Possessed Were-Mummy, and just yesterday the Ninja Zombie Pirate Robot!" She grinned. "Actually, that last one was kind of cool..."

"Well, there's no monsters yet Shaggy." Daphne said.

"And we need to get directions somewhere to get back on track." Velma agreed.

"So it's into town we go!" Fred concluded.

As Fred put the van back into gear, Shaggy said "Okay okay, fine. But Freddy, right here right now I'm reserving the right to say 'I told you so!'"

"Rah! Re too!"

Staring ahead out the windshield, Scootaloo suspected Shaggy and Scooby were right. She smiled. It was all another shot at a mystery-solving cutie mark after all, and that's all that mattered...

XXXXX

Johnny's Landing proved to be everything one familiar with the exploits of Mystery Inc. would expect: Run-down ramshackle buildings sporting busted windows, collapsed roofs, and front doors hanging loose from single hinges. A couple of the more intact homes seemed to still be inhabited, at least if the soft yellow glow of electric lights or the silvery flickering of television screens were anything to judge by, but most of the hamlet was empty, a ghost town waiting to happen.

The sole service station was boarded up. So too the mercantile and an old 'Waffle House.' Near the west edge of town though, a bright neon sign was lit, proudly proclaiming 'Fortunes Told! Palms Read!' Freddy pulled the Mystery Machine to a stop. "Well gang, it looks like this is our only option. Hopefully the fortune teller can give us directions."

A bell chimed out as they stepped though the front door and into a scene from Shaggy's nightmares. A crystal ball sat atop a table the legs of which were made of bones. Various animal skeletons lined the walls, Scooby and Scootaloo gulping as they noticed dog and horse skulls respectively. Flickering torches stood at each corner, the smoke rising from them seeming to take on ghoulish forms. "Like, this is the creepiest place I've ever seen!"

"Why thank you."

"You're welco... YOW!!!" Shaggy jumped as he realized he didn't recognize the voice. Standing in the midst of the gang was an attractive woman of perhaps thirty, dressed as a gypsy though her features suggested she was anything but.

"How did you do that!?" Scootaloo asked, eyes wide. "You just appeared out of nowhere!"

"Trade secret my dear, trade secret... So, why have you come to me strangers?"

"Are you the fortune teller?" Daphne asked.

"Indeed. My name is Margaret Rita Deville, though you may call me Margo."

"Rour rame ris Rargo Rita Rille?" Scooby asked. "He hee he he he hee..."

Margo jumped back. "A talking dog!!" She exclaimed.

Velma simply raised one eyebrow. "Again? Seriously, why is everyone freaked out about Scooby but thinks nothing of the alien pegasus?"

"Eh, fair enough." Margo sighed. "Not like I've not seen worse lately. Speaking of which, as much as I'd like the money from telling your fortunes, I think you kids had better just get back on the road while you have the chance."

Daphne said "That's actually why we're here ma'am. We're lost."

"Just keep goin' on the road you were on. It'll take you to the county seat in fifteen minutes and the highway from there."

"Great!" Shaggy cheered. "Fred, Scooby, girls, let's go."

"Hold on a second Shaggy." Freddy replied. He looked to the fortune teller. "What did you mean by 'While we have the chance?'"

"Well because of the ghost of course."

"G-g-g-ghost!?" Scooby shuddered and jumped into Shaggy's arms.

"I knew it! I knew it! Freddy, what did I say!? Huh!? What did I say!? I told you so!" Shaggy was on the verge of flying into histronics.

"What ghost?" Scootaloo asked.

"Oh yes, you aren't from around here... Well, if you must know, Johnny's Landing has become haunted. By the ghost..." (Here Margo paused for dramatic effect,) "Of J. Edgar Hoover!!" Thunder rumbled as she spoke the name.

Velma blinked. "Wot?"

Freddy chuckled. "I think what Velma means to ask is, J. Edgar Hoover was the founder and first head of the F.B.I. He lived in Washington and was wealthy and powerful. Why would he want to haunt a place like Johnny's Landing?"

"Ahh, now that is a story... I'm sure you've noticed how thick the swamp is around here, yes?"

Everyone nodded.

"Right. Now, we locals can find our way through the swamps no problem. Outsiders, not so much. Back during Prohibition, this appealed to an up and coming Mafia boss by the name of Johnny da Snitch-"

"How could he be a boss if he was a snitch?" Scootaloo interrupted.

"It's just a name." Margo rolled her eyes. "Johnny got rich and powerful through smuggling. First moonshine, then other commodities when Prohibition ended. This put him at the top of Hoover's radar. But, the swamp was as effective as Johnny hoped, and the feds were never able to catch him in anything. As the years went by, Hoover's focus mostly changed from goodfellas to commies, but he never gave up on catching old Johnny..."

"And he never did?" Daphne asked.

"Not in this life, no. The day after Hoover died, Johnny held a grand party to celebrate. And at the stroke of midnight, right in the middle of the festivities, the Ghost of Hoover appeared! He grabbed Johnny right out from under his guards, and dragged him body and soul to the afterworld!"

"Y... You mean Tartarus?" Scootaloo asked.

"Close enough."

"What happened next?" Freddy asked.

Margo shrugged. "Nothing. At least at first... That was back in seventy-two and the ghost was never seen again... Until two weeks ago, when Hoover returned, bent on vengeance!"

"And that's our cue!" Shaggy said, "Let's get out of here!"

"No Shaggy, we've got a mystery to solve!" Velma insisted.

"And a mystery-solving cutie mark to earn!" Scootaloo cheered.

"Right, that too. So, Miss Deville, what kind of vengeance is the ghost after?"

"Well you see..." Margo paused for a moment, then reached over and cupped her hands over Scootaloo's ears.

"Hay! What gives!?" The pegasus demanded, struggling to get loose.

Margo pulled her hands back long enough to say "Stop squirming! The first part of this isn't for ears as young as yours! I'll let you hear the rest once we're past it." Re-covering Scoot's ears, she said "Now, famous as Johnny was for smuggling there's one other thing he was just as well known for around here... Philandering. Over the course of his reign, Johnny laid with and knocked up pretty much every halfway cute girl in the county. You'd be hard pressed to find anyone hereabouts who's not descended from him to some degree, myself included." She let go of the filly's ears. "And it's Johnny's descendants the ghost is after, though I don't know why..."

XXXXX

"So how do we start?" Scootaloo asked. The gang was now standing near the back of the van, figuring out how to approach the mystery.

"According to Miss Deville, the county seat is just up the road." Velma said. "They should have a hall of records, and I really wanna look into the story we were just told."

"Right." Freddy agreed. "So here's the plan: Velma, Daphne and I will go check out the historical records. Shaggy? You take Scooby and Scoots and search for clues here in town."

"Like, spiffy. Here where the ghost will be."

"Reah! Rhy don't ree go and rou ray?"

"Don't be silly Scooby." Daphne said as she climbed into the van, "Dogs can't drive."

It was only after the van had vanished into the fog that the great dane realized "Hey! Rait! Rhaggy can rive!"

"I think it's too late for that Scooby." Scootaloo giggled. "So, we're looking for clues right?"

"Like, I guess so. And what better place to look for clues than the Waffle House!"

"Uh... Shaggy? That place looks like it's been closed for years."

"Yeah, but they never bother to clean the old supplies out of these places for some reason. And thanks to the modern miracle of preservatives, it'll all still be edible!"

"I don't think that's..."

"Reah! And rest of rall, rinse rhosts don't reed to eat, Roover ron't rhow up rhere!"

"Like, that's all I needed to hear! Gangway!" Shaggy and Scooby ran headlong for the abandoned eatery, leaving the filly behind shaking her head.

"Forget them then..." Scootaloo thought, "Time to find clues and get my mystery solving cutie mark!"

XXXXX

Trotting slowly through the decaying village, Scootaloo wondered where she should start. On the one hoof, she knew there had to be some way of methodically scouring the area for clues. On the other hoof that was hardly her style, and certainly from what she had seen Shaggy and Scooby usually just stumbled across what they needed through dumb luck. Electing to go with the 'dumb luck' strategy, she poked her nose in wherever anything caught her eye, through the old filling station, a trio of abandoned houses, and a barn that looked ready to cave in if you so much as breathed on it wrong.

Finding nothing of interest in any of those places, Scoots was starting to think about just giving up and rejoining the others when she heard an odd squeaking sound. Head cocked with curiosity, she followed the sound around the corner of a brick retaining wall and to the back side of a wood frame outbuilding covered in aluminum siding. The source of the sounds proved to be an aluminum panel that had come loose from all but one of it's securing nails and was now swinging softly in the faint breeze, scraping up against the other panels as it did so. And behind the panel...

"A secret passage!" The pegasus cheered, hopping up and down. "There's gotta be a clue in there!"

Carefully timing herself, Scootaloo jumped through as the panel swung open, landing in a narrow hallway. Just ahead, stairs led down. "Secret basement. Nothing suspicious about that..." Nervous now in spite of her outward bravado, she descended three flights to a large empty chamber. Wooden pallets were propped up against the walls and everything was covered in cobwebs including a small desk tucked away in a corner. "This must be where the mobster guy hid the stuff he was smuggling!" Scoots thought, eyes wide. She went to the desk, reared up with her forehooves on the edge. There was a book. "Huh?"

Opening the old tome, Scootaloo saw a great deal of writing that she couldn't make heads or tails of. She paged through, finding page after page of the same thing. But then, inside the back cover, there was something else. Something... The filly wasn't sure exactly what it mean, but she was positive it had to be a clue. "Jackpot." She whispered.

"Hrrrough..."

"Huh?"

"Hrrooouuuuughoouuugh...."

Scootaloo looked over her shoulder. A glowing old man in a dress stood over her.

"Ghost!" She exclaimed. The apparition reached for the filly, but she jumped straight up, flapping her wings as hard as she could, and went over it's head. She started to run for it, but realized that the ghost wasn't after her: It wanted the book. "A clue for sure... And you're not getting it!" Running as fast as she could, Scootaloo dived and slid between the ghost's legs, jumping atop the desk to grab the book, and then jumped back over it's head and tore out of the room and up the stairs as fast as she could, book clenched in her teeth, spirit in hot pursuit.

Meanwhile at the old Waffle House Shaggy and Scooby were doing what they do best: chowing down on the hideously outdated foodstuffs that never seemed to harm them. They had gotten the power on, the grill working, and Shaggy stood before it in a chef's hat. "Okay Scoob 'ol buddy, what flavor pancakes do you want?"

"Ruererry!"

"Blueberry? Like, okay, lemme see what we've got..." Rummaging around in the larder, Shaggy located a glass jar labelled "Pitted Blueberries." The contents were green. He shrugged. "Eh, how bad can they be? All right Scoob, blueberry pancakes coming up!"

The dog watched eagerly as Shaggy poured the (not) blueberries (anymore) into the batter, whipped it up, and poured round globs of the mixture onto the hot grill. "Poor Rootaroo." He said, "She doesn't rnow rhat she's rissing!"

"No kidding! Good food, good company, no ghost..." Shaggy sighed. "We should probably go find her."

"Reah! Rut rot on an empty romach."

"Right you are." Shaggy masterfully tossed the pancakes into the air, catching them one at a time on Scooby's plate in a perfect stack, simultaneously grabbing the syrup bottle and emptying in over the top. He slid the completed meal down the counter where it came to rest before the dog. He then started preparing his own plate.

Knife in one paw, fork in the other, Scooby leaned in licking his lips. "Oh boy oh boy oh boy!!!" Opening his mouth wide, the dog prepared to swallow the meal whole in spite of the flatwear he held... ...and was interrupted by the front door banging open as Scootaloo raced in.

Spitting the book out onto the counter, Scootaloo exclaimed "Guys! I found a clue!"

"Like, that's great Scoots! But why are you running!?"

"That's why!" The filly said, and motioned towards the door just as the ghost barged through.

"Hrrruuuooooouugh!!!!"

Shaggy's hair stood on end as he jumped up. "ZOINKS!!! It's the ghost of J. Edgar Hoover! Run for it Scooby!!!"

Scootaloo tossed the book onto her back between her wings and she and Shaggy fled out the back door. Scooby followed, but not before quickly downing both plates of pancakes then looking the ghost in the face and laughing nervously. When Hoover reached out for him, Scooby double-timed his speed and ran, quickly catching up to the others, with the ghost close behind.

They ran all around the town, seeking hiding places that never worked and in one instance having a surreal experience with a long hallway and a set of doors that led to random other doors in the same hall.

In time the trio were back outdoors, running straight ahead. "Like, this guy really, really wants us!" Shaggy said.

Scootaloo shook her head. "I don't think he wants us at all Shaggy! I think he wants the book!"

"Well then why don't we give it to him!?"

"No bucking way! This book is-"

"Rootaroo! Ranguage!" Scooby chastised.

Scoots blushed slightly. "Sorry Scooby! But this book is a clue! And he's not getting it!"

"Like yeah okay! But in that case, we'd better come up with a plan and I mean FAST! He's gaining on us!"

"Play keep away!" Scootaloo exclaimed, and threw the book to Shaggy who was further from the ghost than she was.

It worked for awhile. As he ghost closed on whoever held the book, they would toss it to whoever was furthest away. Scootaloo to Shaggy, to Scooby, back to Scoots and then Scooby again, and so forth. But at one point, when Shaggy was holding the book, he got his wires crossed with Scootaloo. The two of the crashed into each other, and the book went flying off in a random direction.

"I rot it! I rot it!" Scooby shouted. He ran, made a long flying jump, and shouted "Rhut-Roh!" as the ghost rose up, holding a large open bag. Book and dog landed in the bag, and the ghost cackled evilly as he closed the bag, threw it over his shoulder, and shuffled off, the air filled with a muffled, plaintive cry of "Rhaggy!! Rootaroo!! REEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!!"

"Like oh no!!! Oh Scooby!! Ol' buddy ol' pal ol' friend! I'll miss you!!"

"Really!? You're giving up that easy!? He's your best friend!" Scootaloo demanded.

Shaggy shook himself off. "You're right! But, what can be possibly do!?"

"I thought you'd never ask." Shaggy looked down to see the pegasus filly was now standing atop her scooter ("Like, where'd it come from?") and was pulling a helmet down over her head. She threw a line and another helmet to Shaggy. "Strap in and hold on tight!"

Shaggy swallowed nervously. "Like, I was afraid you were gonna say something like that!"

Whatever else he might have said was lost in the scream as they accelerated at the speed of flightless filly...

XXXXX

Meanwhile Fred, Daphne, and Velma, having completed their research at the county of hall of records, were aboard the Mystery Machine on their way back to Johnny's Landing. "So what did you girls find out?" Freddy asked.

"Well," Velma answered, "I was able to determine that the story Margo Deville told us was more or less accurate. There really was a mob boss named 'Johnny da Snitch' who ran this area from the nineteen twenties through nineteen seventy-two. He really was a major target of J. Edgar Hoover, and he really did vanish the day after Hoover's death."

"Was he really taken by Hoover's ghost?" Daphne asked.

"That's what Johnny's guards claimed when the authorities investigated." Velma confirmed, "Though of course they were of the opinion that Johnny was really assassinated by those same guards who wanted to move up the food chain and saw Hoover's death as an opportunity." She shook her head. "What about you Daphne?"

"I looked through the local genealogy records like you asked. And again, sort of like what you found, most of Margo's story checks out: Johnny da Snitch did in fact father a very large percentage of the local population. But..."

"But?"

"But... Margaret Rita Deville is not among them."

"You don't say..." Velma mused.

Freddy asked "Why would she lie about that?"

"I'm sure I don't know yet. But it has to be important... what about you Freddy? What did you find out?"

"Something weird. During his life, Johnny amassed a major fortune, estimated at in excess of fifty million dollars. Yet, not a single solitary penny of it has ever been accounted for. None of the bodyguards that the authorities think killed Johnny ever showed any signs of having any of it, and neither did any of his descendants."

"Where could that much money have possibly gone too?" Daphne wondered.

"I don't know." Velma admitted. "But, I'll bet if we figure that out we'll solve this mystery."

"Right. Well, here we are..." Freddy drove back into the town limits of Johnny's Landing. "Now where are Shaggy and the others-"

Freddy was cut off as a glowing man in a dress ran past the front of the van with a bag slung over his shoulder. A whimpering cry for help could be heard coming from the bag. "Jinkies! It's the ghost of J. Edgar Hoover!"

"And it sounds like he's got Scooby!" Daphne agreed.

"But where are Shaggy and Scootaloo?"

Moments later, announced by the loud "WHOOOOOAAAAA!!!" Of Shaggy screaming came Scootaloo, tearing along behind the ghost on her scooter, Shaggy being dragged behind.

"I might have known." Velma sighed...

XXXXX

"Like, tell me you have a plan for when we catch up to him!" Shaggy screamed.

"Yeah! Get back Scooby and the book!"

"But how!?"

"Like this!" Scootaloo suddenly slamed on the brakes, cutting to a full stop in just a few feet. Shaggy, at the end of the line she had been dragging him with, did not stop on a dime. He flew forward,past the running ghost, and began to swing around as he reached the end of the rope. The rope swung in an arc in front of the ghost's legs, tripping him up and sending him sprawling to the ground, dropping the bag, and then bouncing down a steep embankment. Scootaloo was pulled forward by Shaggy's weight, and crashed into him.

Shaggy sat up and shook his head. "Like, I'm glad Scoots gave me that helmet." He said. Looking around, he saw the bag Hoover had been carrying open on the ground. The book lay next to him, and Scooby's rear end and tail stuck up out of the ground. What he couldn't see any sign of was...

"Scootaloo!!! Where Are You!?!?"

An orange head popped up next to Shaggy. "I'm here! Did you get the book?"

"Like, right here... Look, I saw Freddy and the girls getting back... Let's dig Scooby out and get back to them before ghostly gruesome comes back!"

XXXXX

Velma paged through the book Scootaloo had found. "Scoots, I'm not sure this is actually a clue..." She said. "From the look of it, it's just an old copy of Johnny da Snitch's smuggling logs."

Scootaloo grinned. "Right. But look inside the back cover."

"Hmm?" Velma flipped to the back and began to read:

August 5 1965: Derned fool kids! Not a one of 'em worth my fortune! Lazy cretins all! Derned if I'll leave it for the feds though! What to do, what to do...?

October 11 1965: Think I've got a plan... Got's t' chew it over more though....

February 2 1966: Hellz yeah, it'll work... Just gotta figure out which three are the least lame of 'em...

1: The location.

2: The traps.

3: The code.

April 27, 1966: Which three...? Which three...?

Velma closed the book and looked down at the filly with a smile. "Scootaloo, this is excellent work..."

"Then it is a clue?"

"Not just a clue Scoots... The clue... It all makes sense now..."

Shaggy, Scootaloo, Scooby, and Daphne all looked at Velma in shock. "It does!?"

"It sure does." Velma confirmed.

"And all we need now," Freddy said, "Is a trap..."

XXXXX

"So here's the plan." Freddy said a short time later, "The Ghost of Hoover probably doesn't know yet that we've figured out why the book is an important clue. So, we're going to bait him with it. Shaggy, Scooby, the two of you will take the book and walk to the center of town, talking loudly about how you have it. When the ghost comes for you, run to this point" (He indicated a position on the map.) "That's where you come in Scootaloo. As the fastest one we have, you'll zip out, grab the book away from Shaggy, and lead the ghost into our trap."

"What is the trap?" Scootaloo asked.

Freddy pointed to an "X" on the ground. "Be sure you pass directly over that 'X.' When the ghost passes over it behind you, Daphne and I will be up there (He pointed to a balcony) ready to drop this coil of rope on him."

"Neat, simple, and straightforward." Velma said.

"Like yeah, what can possibly go wrong?" Shaggy smiled.

What indeed?

Shaggy and Scooby slowly walked through the town, carrying the book. "Like, I guess it's time to do this thing Scooby..."

"Reah, right."

"Okay, so here goes:" Shaggy spoke loudly, "Like, wow Scooby! I'm sure glad we got this book back!"

"Reah! Reven if re don't rnow rhat it reans!" Scooby said just as loud.

"Yeppers, I sure hope the Ghost doesn't come after it again! That would be the worst!"

"Hrrrrooouuuuughhhh!"

"ZOINKS! It's him!"

They ran as the ghost gave chase, winding around houses and through overgrown yards, slowly getting closer to the place where Scootaloo would be waiting for them. As they reached the intersection, Ghost mere inches from catching them, Scootaloo appeared,zipping along at full speed. She grabbed the book, stuck out her tongue at the ghost, and was off, Ghost now on her tail rather than Shaggy and Scooby's.

"Whew!" Shaggy said, wiping his brow. "Like, I'm glad our part in this is over Scoob!"

"Rheh!" Scooby agreed. Then his sensitive canine hearing caught a noise he didn't recognize. "Hey Rhaggy? Rhat's Rhat?"

"Like, I dunno... It sounds like it's coming from..." Shaggy looked down. Around his and Scooby's feet was a rope, the rope Scootaloo had thrown him earlier, the one attached to her scooter. It was wrapping around their feet. They looked each other in the eyes. "Uh-oh." And then they were gone.

Up on the balcony, Fred and Daphne waited with the ropes to throw around the ghost as he passed under them. "Here she comes Daphne! Get ready!"

Scootaloo zipped along on her scooter, directly over the 'X' and kept going. The Ghost appeared in her wake. But then, just as it reached the 'X', Shaggy and Scooby came, unwittingly towed by Scootaloo, moving faster than the Ghost and reaching the 'X' at the precise moment the Ghost did. Fred and Daphne dropped the rope, which entangled all three of them.

"Oh no!" Daphne exclaimed. "Now what!?"

"I don't know!" Freddy said, "I've got no more ideas!"

Ahead, Scootaloo braked to a stop. "All right! It worked! It worked! It..." She looked behind herself. Saw the cobbled mass of Ghost, Beatnik, and Dog, coming right at her. Let out a yelp just as they slammed into her and the scooter, creating a mass of tumbling bodies that rolled over and over before crashing to a stop against a stone fence...

XXXXX

The gang stood with the local Sheriff, all gathered around the tied-up ghost. "So you kids actually caught whoever this is running around pretending to be J. Edgar Hoover's ghost?" The Sheriff asked. "I'm impressed. But, I'd sure like to know just what all this is about."

"That's simple." Velma said. "Johnny da Snitch had a huge fortune, And he knew he was going to die someday and would have to leave it to someone. But none of his many descendants were good enough for him."

"So," Daphne continued, "He hid it all in a vault with a combination lock and booby traps to guard it. That's what he was writing about in the book Scootaloo found: Johnny picked the three descendants who came closest to pleasing him. One was told where to find the vault, another how to get past the traps, and the third the vault combination. But none of them were told about the other two."

Freddy added "Johnny's hope was that if they ever got more worthy by his standards, they would put their heads together, figure it out, and work together to retrieve the fortune."

"But they never did." Scootaloo said.

The Sheriff asked, "But whoever's under that mask did put it together?"

"Like right!" Shaggy said. "They got the answers from Johnny's family members, then pretended to be Hoover's ghost to scare them away so they could have the treasure all for themselves!"

"But... who...?"

"There's only one possible answer:" Velma said, "The one person who everyone around here goes to, the one person they tell everything to:"

Everyone spoke at once: "Margaret Rita Deville."

The Sheriff cocked his head slightly. "I hate to burst your bubble kids, but it can't be Margo.. She's standing right over there!" He pointed towards the Fortune Teller's shop, where Margo was indeed standing in the doorway, watching.

"But wait!" Shaggy exclaimed, "If she's her, then who...?" He motioned towards the tied up ghost.

"I don't know, but it's time we found out!" Freddy said. "Let's see who the Ghost of J. Edgar Hoover really is!" He pulled off the mask.

The results were an almost unanimous state of shocked confusion and statements of "Who!?!?" Unanimous, that is, save for Scootaloo who stared at the unmasked individual and loudly shouted "PINKIE PIE!?!?"

The pink mare narrowed her eyes and angrily spat out "And I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling humans, and your dog!" She smiled and spoke in her normal cherry voice, "Oh! And you too Scoots! Good work!"

Scootaloo shook her head. Rubbed her eyes. Blinked. Then suddenly started yelling "Now wait just one apple-bucking minute! I know I'm not the smartest mare around, but even I can see that this makes absolutely no freaking sense at all!! Pinkie Pie! Why would you be the Ghost of J. Edgar Hoover!?!"

"Well, I knew how much you wanted to get your mystery-solving cutie mark, so I thought I'd help things along!"

"Um... Thanks I guess... Too bad it didn't work."

"If it didn't work," Pinkie asked, "Then what's that?" She pointed at Scootaloo's flank.

Scoots looked, and jumped for joy wings buzzing as she saw a mark in the form of a magnifying glass over foot prints. "WHOO-HOO-HOO!!!!!" She cheered.

"Well I'm glad she's happy." Freddy said, "But what about this Pinkie Pie?"

The Sheriff shook his head. "Technically, I don't think she's committed any crimes. And even if she had, I doubt I have jurisdiction over alien ponies..."

"So I'm free to go?"

"Yeah, I guess so-" Before the Sheriff could finish, Pinkie was free of the ropes, setting off a party cannon that appeared out of nowhere.

"Cutie-cereina time!!! Party!!!" She exclaimed.

As balloons and streamers fell from the sky and tables fully laden with treats appeared out of the blue, Scooby cheered, "Scooby-Dooby-Doo!"

Scoots jumped up on the dog's back. "And Scootaloo too!"

Author's Note

This is an idea I've had in my head for about two years now. The only think that's really changed between what you've just read and the original idea is the very end. In the original concept, after Pinkie is unmasked and points out Scootaloo's new cutie mark, the filly begins to dance around, jumping and cheering, and then realizes she's also flying. As she cheers even louder, she suddenly feels hooves on her shoulders and is woken up by Rainbow Dash. It was all a dream.

I changed the ending for two reasons:

1: I've come to like Scoot's character more and just couldn't be that mean to her.
2: I'm wrong enough in the head to be seriously considering turning this into an ongoing series.

If I do continue this, I'll be bringing in Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle too.

Episode Two: 'A Funky Time With Funkystein'

Lightning flashed and thunder rolled as men and women ran to and fro between the various buildings of the Metropolis Convention Center. Scientists from all around the world had gathered for the annual 'Origin of Life' Symposium, as was announced by the enormous banner draped across the entrance to the main structure. As the wind began to pick up, nearly everyone who was outside also picked up their pace, hoping to get inside before the storm broke. Nearly everyone...

Backlit by high intensity floodlights that sent his shadow streaming onto the banner, a man stood on the next roof over, and stared down on the crowds. "You FOOLS!!" He shouted, gesticulating wildly at the people below, "I'll prove to you all that I was right! Do you hear me!? I'll prove it! And then you'll all be in my debt! You'll all come and genuflect to me! I'll be the man in charge, and I'll make you choke on your puerile mockery! Do you hear me down there!? Do you hear me!? Do you-" He fell silent as he realized that, in fact, no they did not hear him over the wind and thunder. The crowds below continued about their business, not so much as a single head raised to look up at him.

"They'll pay!" He grumbled, "They'll all pay!!" And he laughed maniacally even as the rain began to pour down on his head...

XXXXX

"Oh this is so exciting!" Velma gushed. "I can't believe. I'm actually getting to present my paper at the symposium!"

"If we can get there." Daphne said. "It's raining cats and dogs out there!"

"Raining rats and dogs?" Scooby asked. He looked out the passenger side window where, for a moment, the falling rain was joined by tabbies and poodles. "Ree hee hee he he he...."

Scootaloo raised one eyebrow. "And they say there's no magic here."

Freddy said "Cats and dogs or not, Daphne's right Velma. It's coming down so hard I can't see a hundred feet ahead. We might need to pull over and wait it out."

"Oh I hope not."

"Yeeeah... This paper's about me isn't it?" Scootaloo asked, referring to Velma's research on her.

"Not you specifically Scoots." Velma explained, "But what I've learned about your world's biochemistry from your blood samples is fascinating!"

"Egghead stuff then."

"Egghead stuff." Velma agreed. She looked out the windshield. "If we get there. Freddy's right, this storm is terrible."

Scootaloo shook her head and sighed. Jumped up into the front seat between Fred and Daphne. "Alright, let's see what I can do..." She said, and began to stare intently ahead and up into the sky. Within moments a area of lessened rain formed in front of the van.

"Scoots are you doing this?" Daphne asked.

"Pegasus weather control. Of course, I'm not that good at it yet. This tiny little area is all I can manage, and I can't even make it stop, just lighten up."

"It's still pretty amazing." Fred said. "Velma, I think we're gonna make it after all."

XXXXX

A short time later, Fred pulled the Mystery Machine under an overhang and parked at the valet counter. Everyone piled out of the van and started inside, Fred handing the keys to the valet. "Thanks."

"Like yeah."

"Rank you."

"Gahh! It talks!"

"Oh boy! This is so exciting!" Velma cheered. "I just hope we don't run into Bob."

"Bob?" Daphne asked.

Nodding, Velma explained "Bob Funkystein-"

"Funkystein!?!?" Shaggy and Scooby exclaimed together.

"Like, as in the Funkystein monster!?"

"Monster!?" Scootaloo asked.

Momentarily pulling off her glasses to rub her eyes, Velma said "Bob is the great-great-great... ...Great... Grandson of Victor Funkystein, the man who claimed to have made the original Funkystein monster. He actually believes his ancestor's tall tales of reanimating corpses and is determined to prove that Victor wasn't a madman."

"I assume he's a laughing stock?" Fred asked.

"Like. You wouldn't. Believe."

"Rand you knew this guy?" Scooby asked.

"In college."

As they walked and talked, there suddenly came a loud commotion of yelling and derisive laughter from around a nearby corner. "Betcha that's him right now." Velma said.

It wasn't. When the gang rounded the corner they found a man none of them recognized. He was tall, lanky, wearing thick horn-rimmed glasses and a white lab coat. At his feet were a pair of large pet taxi crates, the doors sprung open, and a large crowd was gathered around as he ranted. "People!! They're here!!" He exclaimed. "Aliens! They're here to KILL US ALL!!"

"Aliens!?" Shaggy gulped.

"Rill us all?" Scooby agreed.

"Yes!! I had them! I had their scouts! But they've escaped!" He motioned towards the pet taxis.

Velma said "You had them? In the pet crates?"

"Yes! Exactly!"

"Then I'm not worried. I mean seriously, any alien that can be held by a pet taxi, even if only for a few minutes, isn't one I'm worried about." Velma deadpanned.

Shaggy laughed. "Like yeah! Even I'm not afraid of that!"

"You fools! They're here right now! They could be anywhere! They..." He caught sight of Scootaloo. "It's one of THEM!!! No wonder you're arguing with me!! It's controlling your minds!!" Screaming the man fled out the nearest door.

Everyone looked at the Pegasus. "Well that was different." Fred said.

"Aw don't worry about Jacob." A woman in the crowd said. "He's just a nut."

"Yeah. A nut." Scooby said. And then face-pawed as the crowd ran screaming.

XXXXX

After the encounter with Jacob, the gang split up. Velma headed to the room where she was scheduled to deliver her paper. Fred and Daphne went off for some time alone together. And Shaggy, Scooby, and Scootaloo went looking for food.

"Like, there's gotta be a food stand somewhere around here."

"Yeah!"

"I dunno Shaggy. These people seem more interested in egghead than egg salad." Scootaloo said.

"They still have to eat Rootaroo."

"Yeah. And in fact..." Shaggy pointed across the way. "Look there! A cherry phosphate stand!"

Man and dog rushed to the stand, which was covered in bubbling flasks and beakers.

"Three cherry rhosphates please!" Scooby said, but no one responded.

Shaggy looked around. "Huh. Like, I guess it's self-service."

Scootaloo eyed the bubbling compounds warily. "Um, Shaggy..."

"Okay, I'll serve us up!"

"Shaggy, I don't think..."

"Where are the cups?"

"Shaggy...?"

"Here we go!" Shaggy pulled out a trio of plastic cups and poured them full. He and Scooby bumped the tops of the cups together, drank, and promptly spit everything back out just as a man stormed up shouting at them.

"What are you two doing!?!? You just drank my experiment!! Ten years of work, ruined!!"

"I tried to warn you..." Scootaloo sighed.

"Get out of here! All of you!!"

"Like what a crab. Okay, where to next?"

"What about this Rhaggy?" Scooby pointed at a large poster taped to a door. It read:

"Reanimation and the Origin of Life: Professor Robert Funkystein"

"Like it's the nutball Velma knew in college." Shaggy said. "You guys wanna check it out?"

"Better than drinking multi-million bit experiments." Scootaloo giggled.

"You said it." Scooby agreed.

XXXXX

"You all believe me a fool!" Bob Funkystein announced from the stage, "And in a way I don't really blame you! After all, my grandfather's work was truly ahead of his time, and thus far I've had no success in emulating him-"

"You don't got his monster either!" Someone shouted, and the crowd roared with laughter.

"True enough. But what I do have is-"

"A mental problem?" Another heckler yelled.

"What a bunch of jerks!" Scootaloo grumbled.

"Like yeah, it's his thing they should let him do it." Shaggy agreed.

"Reminds me of someponies back home."

"There's jerks everyrhere Rootaroo."

"Yeah I know. Doesn't mean I have to like it."

Up on the stage, Bob rode out the laughter, then continued, "As I was saying: I've had no success in emulating my grandfather's work... Until today!" With a flourish, he motioned for a pair of orderlies who wheeled a covered hospital bed out onto the stage. Threw a switch as a skylight opened high above and a crane extended out into the storm. "Tonight, you will all witness my triumph!"

"Is that a dead body?" Scootaloo asked, eyes wide.

"Like it sure looks like it."

"Maybe we should leave Rhaggy.." Scooby shuddered.

"Oh don't worry Scoob. There's like no way this will really work."

High above, lightning struck the metal rod attached to the crane, poured down the heavy duty cable, and slammed into the covered body making it jump. Thunder rolled, almost deafening in such close proximity. And then all was silent. Nothing happened and no one spoke for perhaps two full minutes. And then the laughter started anew, along with the taunting.

"But... But I don't understand it!" Bob wailed, "I was so sure I had everything right this time!" He fell to his knees in defeat.

The mockery continued.

"Hahahahahahaha!!!!"

Hee hee hee!!!"

"Ha ha haaaaa!!!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The laughing stopped cold at the sudden blood curdling scream, and everyone looked to the woman who had made it. She was pointing at a hand that had flopped down outside the covering sheet when the lightning struck. It was moving. Bob leapt back to his feet, joy in his eyes. "It worked! Grandfather I did it!" He threw his head back and loudly exclaimed "It's alive!! It's Alive!!! It's A-"

"It's coming right for us!!!" Shaggy screamed, and the crowd broke and ran as the Funkystein Monster rose from it's bed and stumbled towards them, moaning...

XXXXX

Meanwhile Fred and Daphne had stumbled into a mystery of their own. After going their own way the couple had spent their time idly exploring, looking at the various displays set up all around the convention hall, talking and joking and laughing and basically just making the best of the situation. "Wandering a science convention... Not exactly my idea of a good date." Daphne said.

"Mine either." Fred agreed, "But hey, at least we're together right?"

"Right."

"Now if only we had a mystery to solve..."

A man and woman suddenly appeared through a door and slammed it behind them. "Do not go in there!" The man exclaimed.

"Is something wrong?"

"I'll say! There's a monster in there!"

"Freddy you just had to say it." Daphne rolled her eyes.

Ignoring the sarcasm, Fred asked "What kind of monster? Vampire? Ghost? Werewolf? Baba Yaga? I need to know it matters for the trap design!"

"Baba what?" The man asked. He shook his head. "I dunno what it is."

The woman explained "It's got an upside down wicker basket over it's head and a big blanket wrapped around it's body! There are yellow eyes in the shadows under the basket!"

"And it moans..." the man said. He frowned before adding "In a southern accent..."

"New one on me." Daphne said when Fred looked at her in confusion.

"Well let's take a look shall we?" Fred opened the door and they slipped through, leaving the terrified man and woman behind.

It was dark past the door. Daphne produced a flashlight from her purse and switched it on, sweeping the beam over the deserted room. There were stalls set up for the convention, but no one was in sight. "Weird... Why set things up here and then not open it up?"

"Yeah, and if it's closed, why were those two back here?" Fred agreed.

"Well let's worry about that later... Right now we've got a monster to find."

Daphne hooded a hand over the flashlight beam to make it harder for anyone else that might be lurking about to see, and the couple began to explore. But there was no sign of anything amiss, and both Fred and Daphne were beginning to suspect that they were on a wild goose chase. Then the ringing clatter of something metal falling and striking the floor, hard, resounded through the air. "What was that!?"

"it came from this way! Come on!"

They rushed across the room, down a short hall, and up a flight of stairs. Rounding a corner, they saw...

"Gosh!! It really is a... ...Whatever it is..." Fred gasped.

The creature turned and brightly glowing yellow eyes gazed upon them. A heavily accented voice spoke: "Leave this place!" All around the room, small objects became surrounded by softly radiant auras and floated up into the air. One of them flew at Daphne, but Fred caught it. Looked it over.

"There's no wires!" He exclaimed. "It's really floating!"

"But..." Daphne's eyes went wide. "Freddy! Do you realize what this means!?"

"Do I ever! We've finally done it! We've finally found a real monster! We've finally found... ...a... ...real..."

"MONSTER!!!" Both screamed, and they fled with the unknown creature close behind...

XXXXX

"Analysis indicates that life on the pony's world utilizes exactly the same nucleotide and amino acid chirality requirements as Earthly life." Velma stood tall atop the stage as she gave her presentation. "The implications are profound. Among other things, it means that life from their world can survive here, and vice versa. Scootaloo, for example, has had no difficulty in digesting and being nourished by local foodstuffs."

A loud snort came from the audience. "Question?" Velma asked.

"Oh I've got more than a question!" A man who can be described only as the very definition of every nerd stereotype rolled into one stood. "For example, if what you say is true then why is this 'pegasus' (Here he made air quotes with his fingers) still alive? Shouldn't the local bacteria have gotten at it by now? And also, what are the odds that it would speak English!? *snort* Not likely! You know what I think? I think that you're just as bad as Bob Funkystein and that 'aliens and pet taxis' moron!"

"I'm telling you the truth!"

"Oh? Then where is it? Where's the pegasus then?"

Almost before the words were out of his mouth, a set of double doors on the west wall slammed open. Scootaloo ran through at full speed, followed by Shaggy, Scooby, a large screaming crowd, and the moaning, wailing, Funkystein Monster. "Velma! Run! It's Alive!" Scootaloo shouted, and then one by one the whole parade exited out another pair of doors opposite the first.

Everyone was silent for several seconds, and then the walking stereotype deadpanned "I withdraw my question." and took his seat.

"Of course." Velma sighed, and ran to follow the crowd...

XXXXX

After interrupting Velma's speech, the crowd spilled out into the main lobby and scattered. Naturally, the monster stayed on the tail of Shaggy, Scooby, and Scootaloo. "Like we've gotta lose this guy!" Shaggy yelled.

"But how? He's really on us tight!" Scoots answered.

"Reah! Like white on rice!" Scooby agreed.

"So what do we do!?"

"Like, just follow our lead Scoots!" Shaggy said, "Scoob and me have done this many times! In here!" He ducked into a side door, and the dog and pony followed.

The Funkystein Monster stopped in front of the door. Growled. Slammed into it, hard, knocking it off it's hinges. Stepped through, ready to terrorize those within. And cocked it's head in confusion.

"Ahh welcome sir!" Shaggy, now disguised as a tailor, approached. "Well well what have we here?"

Also disguised, Scootaloo joined him. "A mess is what we have!"

"Oh yes!" *tailor* Scooby agreed. "Rir? How long has it been since you got a new wardrobe?"

They ushered the monster to the center of the room, where they stood him on a footstool and began taking his measurements.

"So what's it like being a monster?" Scootaloo asked.

"I hear monstering is a cutthroat business!" Shaggy said, measuring the arms.

"Reah... It's... Monstrous!" Scooby laughed.

"Hrouuurgh!!!" The monster started to move, but Shaggy grabbed an arm.

"Not yet sir, we're still not done!" He knelt down to measure the legs. "Oh my sir! These pants are far too loose! Here, let me pin them tighter..."

Funkystein's Monster roared at the top of his lungs as Shaggy jabbed the pin into his rear.

"Like that's it! Let's go!!" Shaggy screamed, and they left the now hobbling in pain monster behind...

XXXXX

So here we have Fred and Daphne running from one monster, Shaggy, Scooby, and Scoots running from another, and Velma, having lost track of the others whereabouts, running lost through the corridors of the convention center. As is only natural, they all collided together in a three way crash.

"Boy am I glad to see the rest of you!" Fred said.

"Yeah us too!" Scootaloo agreed. "The Funkystein Monster is after us!"

"Funkystein!?" Daphne shouted, "Then there are two monsters on the loose?"

"TWO!?" Everyone but Fred and Daphne asked.

Fred explained "We saw another one in the closed off area of the convention center! It was chasing us! And, Velma, get this: It levitated objects without string or magnets or balloons or anything! I think we've finally found something real!"

Jinkies! And it was after you?"

"Yeah, but I think we lost it." Daphne said.

Fred motioned for the others to follow him quietly. "Come on... Maybe we can sneak up and get a look at it from behind..."

Over Shaggy and Scooby's objections, they did so, creeping back into the darkened halls, finding the creature as it shambled past from left to right a short way ahead of them, apparently oblivious to their presence.

"See? What'd we tell you?" Fred whispered.

"What in the world...?" Velma wondered.

Scootaloo's eyes narrowed. "Wait a minute... I know that monster!" She exclaimed. Before anyone could stop her, the filly galloped forward, grabbed the blanket wrapped around the monster's body in her teeth, and pulled, revealing:

"Apple Bloom!?!? Sweetie Belle!?!?"

"SCOOTALOO!!!"

The three Crusaders jumped for joy and happily danced around together while the Mystery Incorporated gang shrugged and walked up to them. "Friends of yours Scoots?" Velma asked.

Apple Bloom jumped in between Scootaloo and the Gang. "Scootaloo! Get back! These things'll lock ya'll up in a pet crate!"

Fred and Daphne exchanged a glance. "Well that explains a lot."

"Yeah."

"Don't worry Bloom." Scootaloo said. "These are my friends. They're cool. Weird, but cool."

"Oh. Well, any friend of Scootaloo's..."

"Guys! These are my friends and fellow Crusaders! Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle!" Scootaloo exchanged introductions, then said to the other Crusaders "So, why are you here? For that matter... HOW are you here!?"

Sweetie Belle began to explain, "Well, after you vanished right in front of the whole town Princess Twilight started trying to figure out what had happened to you. And then-" The explanation was interrupted by a terrific crash as the Funkystein Monster returned, crashing through a door roaring and heading right for the gang.

"Explanations later!!" Fred shouted, "Run!!"

Monster close behind, everyone fled down the nearest hallway which was, by now, otherwise deserted. They came to a 'T' intersection and split, half going each way; Velma turned to the right, the three Crusaders close on her heels, while Freddy led Daphne, Shaggy, and Scooby the other way...

XXXXX

"Hold up girls!" Velma said a short time later, "I think we lost him."

Collapsing in exhaustion, Sweetie Belle said "Thank goodness! what was that thing!?"

"The Funkystein Monster apparently."

"Monster!?" Bloom and Sweetie exclaimed together.

"Don't worry girls." Scootaloo said. "If there's one thing I've already figured out about this world, it's that these monsters always turn out to be fakes."

"Exactly." Velma agreed.

"But... If'n it ain't real then why'd we run like it was?" Apple Bloom asked.

Velma shrugged. "The universe has a nasty sense of humor... The one time we didn't run it'd be real and eat us all."

"Right." Scootaloo nodded. "But, since it's probably not real, who do you think it is Velma?"

"Bob Funkystein himself would be the obvious answer, but..."

Scootaloo interrupted, "Can't be. Shaggy, Scooby and I were there. He was standing right there in plain view when the monster got up... I guess maybe it could be someone working in cahoots with him..."

Velma shook her head. "I still don't buy that Scoots. Remember, I knew Bob in college. And, I'll be the first one to agree he's a nut. But gosh darnit, he's a sincere nut! He wouldn't do something that would just make that many more people doubt him when he's caught."

"Hmmm... Yeah, this does seem to mean a lot to him."

Apple Bloom raised a hoof. "Can I ask somethin'?"

"Sure thing 'Bloom."

"Well... If a lotta folks doubt the guy already like you say, couldn't it be one of them?"

"Good thinking." Velma agreed. "Come on you three, let's try to find the others and start putting this mystery together."

As the group made their way through the halls, Scootaloo asked "So... How did you two get here?"

Sweetie Belle explained "Oh! Well like I started to say before, Twilight started looking to figure out where you had gone, and figured out pretty quick that you'd fallen into another world. So she made this cool magic portal thingy so that her and Rainbow Dash could come and get you..."

Apple Bloom took over the explanation, "But, when Princess Celestia found out that the portal thing was a one way trip for now, that anypony that went through would be stuck on the other side until they built another portal here, she forbade Twi and Dash from coming through. Sweetie and me couldn't just let you be here all alone though, so we snuck in late at night and came through ourselves."

Scootaloo's eyes went wide with surprise. "You did what!? Wow, you're gonna be grounded 'til your funerals when we get home!"

"You're our friend Scootaloo! You're worth it!" Sweetie Belle said.

Velma smiled. "That's sweet and scary at the same time."

"That's how we like it!" Sweetie Belle said.

Apple Bloom said "'Course, this leaves the question of how we're gonna survive over here..."

"I'm sure there's room for you with the gang, right Velma?" Scootaloo asked.

Velma nodded. "Yeah, we'll make room somehow."

Sweetie Belle gasped "Oh my gosh! But what about all the stuff we need!? Hooficure kits for us all and wing preening combs for Scootaloo! Oh! How will I keep my horn sharpened!?"

With a raised eyebrow, Scootaloo said "That's a new one on me... You sharpen your horn?"

"Well sure, all Unicorn Ponies do! Rarity always says 'what's the point in having a point if you don't keep it as pointy as you can?'"

"And... Whatdya all use t' do it? A big giant pencil sharpener?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Pretty much... Rarity still doesn't trust me with her electric sharpener, so..."

They continued in silence for a time, then Velma asked "So back in your world, the three of you worked together on earning your cutie mark things?"

"Exactly!" Sweetie Belle cheered, "And now, we can keep working on getting our cutie marks together here-" She caught sight of Scootaloo's flank. Here eyes went wide. She nudged Apple Bloom and pointed. Half a second more and all the glass in a half-block radius was shattered by the "squee."

XXXXX

Freddy pulled his head back from peering around a corner the group had just rushed around. "I think we lost him gang. He must have gone after Velma and the ponies."

"Like, that's a relief."

Daphne asked "So what's our next move Freddy?"
:

"Simple: We find Mister Bob Funkystein and ask him some pointed questions."

"Hey! Listen!" Scooby said, ears perking up.

"Like what have you got pal?"

"You wanna talk to Rob Runkystein? I hear him right up here!" Scooby trotted down the hall and the others followed. As they got closer, the others began to hear what Scooby's better ears had heard first: The voice of Bob Funkystein, and another man's voice as well, arguing. Scooby started to go ahead, but Freddy stopped him.

"Let's listen in." He whispered.

"Why did you do it!?" Bob demanded of the other man. "What did I ever do to you?"

The other voice answered back "For the last time it's not about you! I've got no problem with you! But those things are here! They'll bring down a whole invasion on our heads if they're not stopped! I had to scare them somehow!"

"By making me look like a fool."

"You've handled that part already Bob."

"Jacob-"

"Jacob!" Freddy exclaimed. He rushed into view of the two men, the second proving to indeed be Jacob Abernathy, the man who had mistook ponies for alien invaders and locked Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom in Pet Taxis. "So it's YOU in the Funkystein monster costume!" Freddy triumphantly declared, pointing at Jacob.

"What!? No!"

"Like Freddy how can it be him when he's here and the monster's still running around loose out there chasing Velma !?"

"But... Then... What were you two talking about then!?"

"My assistant." Bob said, motioning towards a young woman standing at a distance. "She believed in me. But then this man convinced her that his horse aliens are real! She took his side, and now everyone thinks even worse of me and my theories, because after all, if the only help I could get was someone who will believe something as mad as unicorns and pegasai..."

Jacob said "I enlisted Miss Hale's assistance in letting the aliens escape, so that more people would see them on the loose and be afraid. People need to be scared! We're about to be invaded!!!"

"The ponies are harmless!" Daphne shouted. "They're just little girls who got lost here by accident!"

"That's what they want you to think!" Holly Hale said.

Bob shook his head. "Great. Now YOU believe this alien junk too. I thought better of Velma's friends."

"Rut it's true!" Scooby said.

"Then where are they!?" Bob demanded.

"Right here!" Velma stepped into the room, accompanied by the Crusaders.

"It's THEM!!" Jacob and Holly fled the room, screaming.

Bob simply stared. "Well I'll be damned." He finally said.

"Like, how'd you get away from the monster?" Shaggy asked Velma.

"Us get away?" Velma asked in surprise. "We thought it chased you!"

"No!" Daphne said. "So, where did it go?"

"Great question." Freddy said. "Especially since it means all three of our suspects are still on the list... Mister Funkystein? Any comments?"

Bob shook his head sadly. "No... Except... In spite of what you all might expect of me, I hope that you all are right about it being a fake somehow."

"You are!?" Scootaloo asked in shock, "But I thought..."

"You thought I'd want my creation to be a mindless shambling beast like in all the movies? Of course not! Grandfather Victor's creation wasn't a monster at all! It was intelligent, erudite, civilized! If this is someone trying to make me look bad I'll be ecstatic! I don't see how that could be though, I mean, I saw the lightning flow into the body!"

"Reah, we did too!" Scooby agreed.

"Like yeah, anyone who took all that'd be a crispy critter!" Shaggy nodded.

Freddy said "Well, there's only one way to resolve this whole mess... Gang, it's time for a trap..."

XXXXX

Half an hour later they were ready. "Okay gang, here's the plan:" Freddy began, "Shaggy, Scooby, the two of you will go out and find the Funkystein Monster. Once you do-"

"-We lead him back to this room. Right." Shaggy said.

Freddy shook his head. "Not just this room Shaggy. Through this specific door." He indicated a wide double door, with a slope leading down from it into the room. "Daphne and I will be waiting on either side of the doors to grab the two of you. The Monster will overshoot and end up on the ramp. The ramp we've soaped down to be incredibly slippery. He'll slide down the ramp, and end up here..."Freddy pointed to an 'X' on the floor.

"And that's where we come in right?" Scootaloo asked.

Velma nodded. "Exactly." She indicated a makeshift see-saw at the edge of the room. "Scoots, you'll be standing on the lower end with this coil of wire. Sweetie Belle, as soon as the Monster is on the 'X' you jump onto the upper end. That'll send Scootaloo into the air where, with a little wing flapping, she'll be able to stay up long enough to fly over the Monster and drop the coil over him."

"And that's where Apple Bloom comes in." Daphne said. She handed the filly a remote. "All you have to do is push this button once the Monster is wrapped in the coils. It'll turn on the big electromagnet over there and pull the coils, and the Monster inside them, tightly up against it, trapping him."

"I'm sure glad Velma knew why this part of the Convention Center was closed off." Freddy said. (It turned out it was being prepared for another convention later in the week.) "We never would have found all this magnetic stuff otherwise."

"Like yeah... Oh well. Come on Scooby, let's get this over with..." The pair sauntered out of the room.

"Okay, we don't know how much or little time we have, so everyone in position now." Freddy said.

They didn't have to wait long. Less than ten minutes later, they heard screaming, and Shaggy's voice shouting "Gangway!!!!"

Man and dog rushed through the open double doors at full speed. At first, it looked like the plan might work: Freddy and Daphne succeeded in grabbing them, and the Monster rushed past and onto the slippery slope. As he slid down towards the 'X', Sweetie Belle jumped onto the see-saw, sending Scootaloo high into the air and directly over him. She dropped the coiled wire. A part of which caught on her hooves. 'WHOA!!!" She yelled as she was pulled down and tied up with the Monster.

"Apple Bloom! The electromagnet!" Velma yelled.

"But Scootaloo!"

"Push the button! She'll be fine!"

Bloom activated the magnet. Funkystein was pulled in, Scoots along for the ride. But as soon as the hit the magnet, the impact caused the filly to pop loose and up into the air. This loosened the coils around the Monster, who tried to run, but made the mistake of running up the slippery slope, getting nowhere at first. Just as it finally started to get some traction and might have escaped, Scootaloo landed back on the seee-saw, sending Sweetie Belle flying instead. Flying, in point of fact, horn-first into a very sensitive area of it's backside...

XXXXX

"Eww eww eww..." Sweetie Belle was compulsively cleaning her horn with a whole canister of wet wipes while the Funkystein Monster sat (uncomfortably) against the nearby wall glaring at her.

"So, you kids caught the Monster eh?" The local sheriff asked. "So, what's all this about anyway?"

"Honestly Sheriff, we're still not entirely sure ourselves." Velma said, "But I'm sure it'll all become clear once we see who's under that mask."

"Like, my money's on Jacob Abernathy." Shaggy said.

"Rut he's right there Rhaggy." Scooby pointed to the man across the room.

"Then who...?"

"Good question. Let's see who the Funkystein Monster really is..." Freddy grabbed the mask and pulled it off.

"Holly Hale!?!?"

Bob Funkystein looked at his erstwhile assistant. "But Holly why?"

"Because I never really believed in you! I mean come on Bob, look at this costume! Look how detailed it is! I spent months making it, and setting things up so the lightning wouldn't fry me! All I needed was a reason to seem to not be there when your lecture came up. A reason this fool gave me in spades!"

"But I thought you did it for me!" Jacob exclaimed.

"Nah. Real ponies or not, I think you're a nut too. You just gave me the excuse I needed to ditch out on Bob's little show so I could be ready in costume." She glared at Sweetie Belle. "And I would've gotten away with it too! If it weren't for that meddling unicorn, and her horn - *OW*" The police led her away. Slowly. "Seriously!" She called back angrily, "Do you sharpen that thing!?"

"Gross part aside," Sweetie Belle said, "That was really kind of cool."

"Y'all thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"

"You know it!"

Three fillies leapt into the air, bumped hooves, and shouted together "Cutie Mark Crusaders!!! Mystery Incorporated!!! Yay!!!"

...And reality itself trembled...

Author's Note

"Unicorns use giant pencil sharpeners to keep their horns pointy" probably isn't a part of anyone's head canon. But it totally should be.

Kurse of the Kokonut Krab King

Author's Note

This is a Coconut Robber Crab.

Pretty much everything Velma says about them in this chapter
is true. Sleep tight.

Kurse of the Kokonut Krab King

Palm trees swayed in the late evening breeze while tourists hustled about on the tiny island's main thoroughfare. The air was filled with the sounds of laughter and the scent of pina-coladas and spicy foods. Gabbin's Island, population two thousand, eight hundred twenty, was open for it's tourist season and all was well. Until...

"Hey!" A man's voice exclaimed. "Bring that back!"

All around, people looked to see what was happening. To their shock, a large crab came scuttling along the ground, a very expensive gold and platinum Rolex watch clutched in it's claws. The watch's owned raced along behind, shouting in vain for the creature to stop. Tourists jumped to get out of the way, and before long the crab had made it's way to the back of a dead end alley in between a pair of hotels/casinos.

"I've got you now!" The man smiled. Then his jaw dropped as the creature turned and scurried up the side of one of the hotels, managing the sheer vertical surface as if it were nothing. Looking over his shoulder, he saw the crowd watching and shrugged. Then let out a yelp as another of the crabs appeared, climbing over a somehow oblivious woman's shoulder and grabbing her silver necklace.

She screamed as the crab jumped to the ground and rushed away with her jewelry. Then, all at once, a panicked scream rippled through the crowd as dozens more of the beasts came, each pilfering valuables from someone before running off with them. The panic reached it's crescendo when a laughing voice echoed about, and an even larger crab, impossibly large, rose into view with it's claws raised high.

"Yes! Go forth my servants! Go forth and rob for your king!"

And the crowds fled as the crab king laughed maniacally...

XXXXX

One month later. Mystery Machine sat parked along a stretch of pristine beach on a bright, clear, sunny tropical day. Tending to a fire nearby, Fred Jones looked up and said "Gosh Velma, it sure was nice of your Uncle to pay for bringing us all down here."

"Like yeah!" Shaggy agreed, "What could be better than a tropical vacation getaway? Especially since it gets us away from mysteries!"

"Um, yeah..." Velma answered nervously.

"Okay gang! Fire's hot and ready!" Freddy called out. Everyone gathered around, using sticks to roast hot dogs or marshmallows.

"Ah gotta admit, this is a nice way 't spend the day." Apple Bloom agreed, her fellow Crusaders nodding.

Seated in between Shaggy and Scootaloo, Scooby was busily stacking a sandwich consisting of roasted hot dogs, marshmallows, sauerkraut, and chocolate sauce. "That's... Disgusting Scooby." Scootaloo chuckled.

"Disgusting," Scooby agreed, "Rut delicious." He swallowed the tall sandwich in a single bite. The a funny look crossed his face. The dog felt something poking him in the back. He looked around, noting that everyone else in the group was in plain sight, and said "Rut then who is poking me from rehind?" Curious, the dog looked over his shoulder, and leapt high into the air with a cry of "YOOOWWW!!!!"

Seeing what had spooked the dog, everyone else jumped to their feet as well. Standing calmly in place was an enormous crab.

Velma laughed. "Oh, it's just a Coconut Robber Crab Scooby."

"Roconut Robber Rrab?"

"They're what my uncle came here to study." Velma explained. "He's looking into how the crabs communicate with each other through pheromones, published several articles on it actually. In any case, Coconut Robber Crabs are the largest species of land-dwelling arthropods on earth, with adults weighing in at over thirty pounds. Coconuts are their favorite food, so much so that if they can't find any on the ground they'll actually climb all the way to the top of the trees to snip fresh ones loose with their claws."

"Are they... ...Dangerous?" Sweetie Belle asked.

Velma shook her head. "Not usually. Though, every once in awhile, one of them will claim a particular coconut tree as it's own and attack anyone or anything who gets too close to it."

"Weird." Daphne said. "So what about the 'robber' part?"

"Like a lot of creatures, these guys are attracted to bright shiny objects. They're well known for breaking into people's homes and making off with keys, jewelry, silverware... anything they can get their claws on really."

Scootaloo laughed. "Wow! So, imagine putting that together with what you said before... Some poor sap ends up running for his life because he got a little too close to the wrong tree and now a ticked-off thirty pound crab with a big knife in each claw is chasing him!"

Everyone stared at the filly. Apple Bloom cuffed her upside the head. "Girl, what is wrong with you?"

"Hay it could happen!"

"Um... You guys?" Sweetie Belle whispered.

"Yeah Belle?"

"You might wanna look behind us..."

Turning, everyone saw what the unicorn had been the first to notice: While their attention was focused on the sole crab before them, several dozen more had crept up from behind. The creatures stood, staring at the group.

"Like wow! It's a crab convention!"

"Reah! And I don't like it." Scooby grumbled.

As the Great Dane backed away from the crabs, as Daphne started to suggest he was overreacting, the mass of crustaceans suddenly charged. "Hey! My rollar!" Scooby shouted as one of them made off with his collar and tags.

"My Scooter!" Scootaloo exclaimed as she watched a quartet of crabs lift and carry away it away.

"My glasses!" Velma yelled as a crab scuttled away with them.

Having nabbed everything of value the mass of Robber Crabs, living up to their name in full, scurried away with their prizes, across the beach, then up and over a hill. The gang gave chase, shouting for the creatures to drop the booty, but to no avail. Then, as they neared the hill, a loud deep voice boomed out, saying "Yes! Yes my children! Bring tribute to your king!" From behind the hill rose the biggest crab anyone had ever seen, bigger than the Mystery Machine, looming over them atop the hill.

"Ruh-Roh!"

"Zoinks!"

Jeepers!"

"Jinkies!"

"Booooooy Howdy!!!"

At this last there was utter silence as everyone, Dog, teens, fillies, even the monster, stared in shock at the speaker. Realizing why they were staring at her, Apple Bloom simply shrugged and said "Y'all heard me. That's mah catchphrase an' ahm stickin' to it."

The ginormous crab stood over the gang for another moment, then turned and stomped away accompanied by it's entourage.

"Aren't we going after it?" Daphne asked.

"Like it's a crab the size of a Winnebago! You don't go after stuff like that!"

"Yeah, I'm with Shaggy on this one." Scootaloo agreed. "Right Velma?"

Looking embarrassed, Velma said "Um, yeah.. ...I've got something to admit to you guys..."

XXXXX

"So lemme get this straight..." Shaggy said as they rode in the Mystery Machine towards Velma's Uncle's home, "The real reason your uncle invited us here is because he knows we solve mysteries and hoped we could deal with the crab thing?"

"Exactly." Velma answered as she put on her spare glasses.

"Velma, A'hm sorry 't say it, but I agree with Shaggy... That was downright underhooved."

"I know I know!! But Uncle Clyde needed help and you know we never woulda gotten Shaggy and Scooby on the plane if they'd known!"

"Well we're here now." Freddy said, "And we've got a mystery to solve! So let's talk to Clyde and see what he can tell us."

A short drive later, they pulled into a narrow gravel driveway. The house ahead had a roof covered in solar panels and there were satellite dishes and other more arcane instruments bristling from every nook and cranny. Even the windows were covered up with a variety of scientific sensors. "Okay, yeah, this is exactly what I would expect a relative of Velma's home to look like." Scootaloo chuckled, and the other Crusaders laughed along with her.

"Hardy-har-har." Velma groused.

As they piled out of the van, the front door opened. The man who appeared was short, pudgy, balding, wearing glasses even thicker than Velma's and a thick brushy beard. "Velma!" He exclaimed, holding his arms out wide.

"Uncle Clyde!" Uncle and niece embraced as the others approached more slowly.

"Thank you all for coming." Clyde said as he released Velma.

"Not at all." Freddy answered, "So what can you tell us about the crab monster?"

"Well... This island was originally colonized thousands of years ago by a branch of Polynesian Seafarers. In fact, it's their descendants who still make up the bulk of our permanent population. In any case, they have a myth about 'Papaka Atua,' King and God of the Coconut Crabs. Much like the creature that's been appearing lately Papaka Atua was said to be truly enormous, with the power to guide crabs to do whatever he wanted them to do."

"Like stealing everything that's not bolted down?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Actually no... Unlike regular Robber Crabs there's nothing in any of the legends about the Crab King stealing anything."

"Interesting..." Freddy mused. "Is there anyone on the island who would have enough money to create a giant crab king costume, but also the motivation to then use it to steal from people?"

"Maybe... For one thing there's Arthur Darlington, who owns the South Seas Casino. He's rich, sure, but in trouble since the newer Regis Royal Casino opened next door to him. Then there's Chieftain Morr. He's the current head of the Polynesian descendants and has issues with tourism ruining the island. I can just see him maybe trying to scare everyone away."

"Sounds like we have a couple of people to talk to." Daphne said.

"Right, and we should probably also sneak someone into this Darlington's office when he's not there to snoop around." Velma said.

"We can do that!" Scootaloo said. "We'll slip in through the ductwork while you guys keep him busy somewhere else."

Freddy nodded. "That's not bad. Okay, Velma you take Shaggy and Scooby and speak with the Chieftain. Daphne and I will find the Casino owner and, hopefully, get him to talk to us somewhere other than his office while the fillies look around in there..."

XXXXX

Fred and Daphne strolled down the island's main drag, heading towards the South Seas Casino. They were passing in front of it's newer competition, the Regis Royal, and looking up at the two buildings which were right next to each other it was abundantly clear why the older facility was having difficulty competing: The new casino was larger, cleaner, and unlike the original covered in so much bright pulsing neon that it probably accounted for well over ninety percent of the island's entire electrical consumption.

Approaching the South Seas, they heard the sounds of an argument and picked up their pace. Before the front doors of the South Seas, they found a crowd standing around watching as two men angrily shouted at each other. "What's going on?" Daphne asked one of the onlookers.

"Battlin' casino owners." The man replied. "Arthur Darlington from South Seas on the left, Elias Vanderberg from Regis Royal on the right. They've been fighting like this every time they see each other for weeks now."

"Really?" Daphne turned her attention back to the argument. Darlington was a tall thin man, perhaps fifty, with thick blonde hair streaked with just the slightest touch of grey and a stately demeanor. Vanderberg was shorter, younger, but already balding, with a considerable paunch around his middle. Both men wore suits, high-quality custom tailored threads worth thousands of dollars.

"For the last time no!" Darlington shouted. "I'm not selling out!"

"It's for your own good my friend." Vanderberg answered, "I'm taking all the business anyway. You'll be run out of business inside of a year."

"We'll see about that."

"We sure will... Because, you know, I know what you're thinking. And it's not going to work. Oh, sure, it might have before the crab king showed up. But with him running all the tourists away it won't be long now before there's no one left."

"Crab King." Darlington snorted. "I'll take care of that, too, don't you worry!" He turned and stormed off into his casino. Vanderberg stood staring for a moment before turning and stomping away down the street.

"Come on Daphne, let's catch Mister Darlington before he gets to his office." Freddy said. They ran across the street and in through the South Seas' front doors, shouting for the man to wait.

"What's this about?" Darlington asked with a sigh.

Daphne said "We're sorry to bother you sir, especially after what just happened outside. But, we're investigating the Crab King mystery and we'd like to ask you a few questions."

"Of course you would." Darlington sighed again. "Let me guess: My name was suggested as being responsible because my casino is losing money. Right?"

"Well... Yeah." Freddy admitted. "And it's a good point. Can you account for your whereabouts earlier today when the Crab King robbed us and our friends?"

"You're asking if I have an alibi? No, I don't." Darlington admitted. "Until just a few minutes ago I was in my office all day, with no one else around to confirm it." He grinned. "But... Tell me something, the whole reason I'm a suspect is because of the financial situation right?"

"Right."

"Come with me then, I wanna show you something."

Before they could stop him, Darlington strode away, clearly heading for his office. Concerned for the Crusaders, who by now should have been investigating said office, Fred and Daphne tried to stop him. But it was all to no avail. In less then three minutes they reached the office door. Darlington swiped his I.D. badge and threw it open. To the surprise of both Fred and Daphne, the fillies were nowhere to be seen.

Arthur Darlington didn't notice the sigh of relief they both gave as they saw the office was deserted. He went straight to his desk, picked up a particular manila folder, and rifled through it's contents for a moment before producing a single sheet of paper. "Here, take a look." He said, passing the sheet to the teens. "These are tourism number predictions for the island for the next five years. Yes, the Regis Royal is taking most of my business for now... But it's also driving an influx of new tourism so large that even with most of them going there, my own profits should still be up at least twenty-five percent in the next year, and up over thirty-five percent in five years."

"So you're not really in any financial trouble..." Daphne mused.

"Not at all." Darlington confirmed. "I'm down a little bit right now... That'll turn around in a few months. In the long run, the Regis' 'competition' is the best thing that's happened to me in years!" He laughed. "So why would I want to ruin that with a thieving crab god thing?"

"I guess you wouldn't." Freddy said. "But... What was that argument about then?"

"Darned if I know... For weeks now Elias has been pestering me to sell the South Seas to him, so he can tear it down and have a monopoly on the island's entertainment industry... Which is just stupid, he's benefiting from the current arrangement too and he knows it. It doesn't make any sense to me."

"Weird..." Freddy nodded. "Well, thank you for your time sir. I guess we need to look somewhere else..."

XXXXX

While Freddy and Daphne were watching the two casino owners argument on the street, the Crusaders had sneaked through the ventilation shafts, seeking Arthur Darlington's office. As is their wont, though, the trio had gotten lost, taken the metaphorical 'wrong turn at Albuquerque,' and somehow ended up instead in an entirely different office.

"Okay girls, let's look around for clues." Scootaloo said.

As they searched, they talked: "So girls, I was thinking... We're gonna end up setting a trap for the Crab King right?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Probably." Scootaloo confirmed. "I mean, that's how it always goes."

"Right. So, why don't we come up with our own idea for a trap instead of letting Fred do it all the time?"

"Oh! I like that!" Sweetie Belle cheered. "Okay, so, first step, we get ahold of one of the regular crabs by having an adult pegasus fly in and pick one up-"

"Whoa whoa whoa!" Scootaloo interrupted. "A Pegasus Pony carry a coconut crab!?"

"She could grip it by the shell." Sweetie said.

Scootaloo shook her head. "It's not about where she grips it Sweetie, it's about weight ratios! Without a unicorn mage to cast a weight-lowering spell there's no way a forty pound Pegasus Pony could carry a thirty pound coconut crab!"

"Well it don't matter since there ain't no adult Pegasai around here anyway." Apple Bloom said.

"Look, in order to reach rainboom velocity Rainbow Dash needs to beat her wings forty-three times every second right?"

"I have no idea."

"Am I right!?"

"I don't know!"

"Oh! It could be carried by a Gryphon!" Sweetie Belle suddenly realized.

Scootaloo thought that over for a moment. "Okay, yeah, a Gryphon maybe, but not a Pegasus Pony that's my point."

"She may have a point there Sweetie." Apple Bloom said.

"Of course, there aren't any Gryphons on Earth either... So they couldn't carry a coconut crab for us anyway."

"Hay wait! Supposing two Pegasus Ponies carry the crab together!" Sweetie Belle hopped up and down cheering her idea.

"Well... They'd have to have it on a line or something..."

"They could use a strand of creeper!"

"What!? Held under their dorsal guidance feathers?" Scootaloo snorted derisively.

Sweetie Belle cocked her head. "I... Have no idea what those are. But why not?"

Before Scootaloo could answer, Apple Bloom shouted "Hey girls! Look at this!" Joining her, the unicorn and pegasus saw an eight by ten color photograph of a man with greying blonde hair. It was full of holes where darts had been thrown at it, and one dart remained lodged in the photo's forehead.

"Wow." Sweetie Belle said. "Whoever this guy is, someone really doesn't like him."

"Gotta be a clue." Scootaloo agreed. "Let's take it with us." Standing on each others backs, they stacked up to reach high enough for Sweetie Belle, on top, to pull the photo from the wall. As she did so, she tumbled, end over end, falling to and rolling across the floor, slamming up against a closed closet door. As she stood and shook herself off, the door swung open. Inside was not the small closet expected but a large chamber filled with piles of shimmering rocks.

"Whoa..." Three fillies spoke in unison.

"Clue jackpot!" Scootaloo exclaimed, pumping a hoof in the air.

"Let's take one with us." Sweetie Belle said, levitating a small chunk with her magic.

"Cool." Scootaloo said. "So, have we missed anything else?"

All three of the fillies looked around the room with interest. After a moment, Apple Bloom's eyes settled on something. "Look at this..." She jumped up onto the desk and picked up the name plate. "Didn't they say the guy's name was Arthur somethin' or other?"

"We're in the wrong office!?"

"Nah, we got the right one." Bloom said pointing to the rock filled chamber beyond. "Even if it ain't the one we thought we wanted."

"Good. So let's get out of here." Scootaloo said. She started to move back towards the ventilation ducts, but then the front door opened and a woman's voice shouted "Hey! What are you doing in here!?"

"Leg it!" Apple Bloom exclaimed, and the Crusaders ran out the open door, past the secretary, and out into the casino...

XXXXX

"Like Velma do we have to do this?" Shaggy asked as he stood with her and Scooby on the front porch of Chieftain Morr,s home.

"Shaggy you know we do. He could be responsible for the Crab King!"

"Like that's my point!"

"Reah!"

Shaking her head, Velma knocked. It was only a few moments before the door opened. Morr proved to be a large, muscular man with well groomed black hair that extended not quite to his shoulders, dressed in khaki slacks and a Hawaiian shirt with coconut shell buttons. Looking over the trio, he grumbled "This again."

"Sir?" Velma asked.

"Tourists!" Morr exclaimed. "Coming to my island, trampling about everywhere! Treating our culture like some theme park attraction! 'And, oh yes, let's be sure to get a look at the tribal king guy too, right?' You all make me sick."

"Like you've got us all wrong man!"

"We're not really tourists sir." Velma said. "We're just here to help out my Uncle Clyde-"

At the mention of Clyde's name, Morr's entire attitude changed. "Clyde? Clyde Dinkley? You must be Velma then..."

"Well yes, you've heard of me?"

"Your Uncle is different. Respectful. So I respect him in turn. Please, come in." Morr led them into his home, which was small but well maintained and cozy, decorated in a traditional Polynesian motif. "How can I help you?"

"Rrab King!" Scooby said.

Eyes narrowed, Morr said "Whatever that... thing... running around out there is, it is not Papaka Atua."

"You seem awfully certain." Velma said.

"Of course. As Chieftain, it is a part of my job to maintain the old legends. They say, clearly, that Papaka Atua was no thief. That indeed he tried to teach his crab subjects better. They are also clear that he did not speak in the speech of men, not Polynesian and certainly not English." Morr snorted. "And quite aside from all of that, I highly doubt the real Papaka Atua would give off the mechanical noises this fake does whenever it moves."

"Like we didn't hear anything like that." Shaggy said.

"I was very close, once last week. The sounds were unmistakable."

"Well at least that does confirm it's a fake." Velma mused. "Probably some guy in a custom-built exosuit."

"Yes. And now let us be candid with each other... You suspect that I am the 'guy in the suit.'"

"Given how you feel about tourism, it seemed possible." Velma admitted.

"Fair enough. But I would never dishonor the traditions of my people by impersonating Papaka Atua, or any of our gods."

"Like you know, I think I believe you." Shaggy said.

"Yeah! Re too." Scooby agreed.

"I thank you for that. So, what will you do next?"

"We've got friends looking into our other suspect. We'll figure out what this is about sooner or later, and when we do we'll catch the culprit and put a stop to it..."

XXXXX

"So," Freddy said to Daphne as they left the South Seas Casino, "I wonder what happened to the ponies?"

"They must've gotten lost." Daphne mused. "Oh, I hope they're okay."

"I'm sure they're fine." Freddy said. "So what did you think of-" He was cut off by a commotion of shouting voices. Pursued by an angry secretary who stopped when she reached the front door, the Crusaders appeared from out of the Regis Royal.

"Didn't we make sure they went in the right building?" Daphne asked.

"Sure did." Freddy confirmed. "So how...?"

The fillies caught sight of Fred and Daphne and angled to run straight for them. "We found clues!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed as they arrived.

"That's great girls, but how-" Freddy was interrupted again as a loud booming voice triggered panic in the crowds of tourists.

"You found nothing equines!" The Crab King rumbled as it scuttled into view from around the far corner of the Regis. "Seize them!"

Coconut Crabs, hundreds of them, surged forward from around their king, heading right for Fred, Daphne, and the Crusaders. "Run!" Freddy exclaimed.

Running was easier said than done, given the crowds of tourists also trying to run in a hundred different directions. Fortunately, it slowed down the crabs too, as they had to climb and scurry over all the people. Freddy and Daphne were separated, and Sweetie Belle got split from the other Crusaders. And through it all, the crabs and the king were coming.

Daphne burst free of the crowds onto the boardwalk. "Freddy!? Girls!?" She called out. After a moment, Sweetie popped out of the crowd next to her, a crab clinging tenaciously to her tail.

"Gah! Let go!! Let go you little jerk!!" The unicorn complained, but the crab wasn't listening.

"Hang on Sweetie Belle, I'll try to help!" Daphne tried to pry the crab's claws open, but it's grip was firm. Remembering what Velma had said about the crabs earlier, she said "Oh, I wish I didn't have to do this..." then pulled a ring from her finger and dangled it in front of the crab's eyes. Seeing the bright light shining off of the gem, it immediately let go of Sweetie and grabbed for the ring. Daphne threw the ring towards the beach, and the crab followed.

"Thanks Daphne." Sweetie Belle said, getting back to her hooves."

"It's cool. But let's move before more of them catch up."

"Right."

Meanwhile, Freddy had detoured down a nearby alley. The good news was, none of the crabs had followed yet. The bad news was, it was a dead-end so when they did he would be in trouble. He looked around hoping to find something to use, but found only the ladder of a fire escape dangling just out of reach overhead. A scuttling sound drew his attention. Crabs had arrived, dozens of them. They charged, and Freddy had an idea. Nimbly jumping atop their shells, he gained enough reach to grab the ladder and start climbing.

When he reached the first landing, Freddy fell back and against the wall to rest. "*Whew!* Wouldn't wanna have to do that again." He sighed. Then a shadow fell overhead, blocking out the sun. Freddy looked up in disbelief to see the Crab King straddling the roofs of the building his fire escape was on, and the next one over. "You've gotta be kidding me!" He exclaimed.

"Papaka Atua never 'kids.'" The Crab King said. A large claw lifted up, and Freddy threw open the nearest window and fled into the building as the claw slammed down destroying the escape moments later...

"Sweetie Belle!" Scootaloo shouted.

"Sweetie where are ya!?"

"Where could she be?"

Apple Bloom shook her head. "Dunno. Best we can do is hope she gets out and run for it ourselves too."

"But-"

"But nothin'! Run!"

Before Scootaloo could respond, a crab clambered over the heads of the nearest people and jumped onto her back. "Scoots! Don't. Move." Apple Bloom yelled, then she turned around and bucked the creature off of the pegasus' back.

"Nice kick!" Scootaloo cheered.

"Thank ya' kindly. Now let's-" Bloom stopped in mid-sentence as a dozen more crabs arrived.

Backing away slowly, pressed against each other side by side, the fillies weren't sure what to do. Their salvation came in the form of a honking van horn and the arrival of the Mystery Machine, Shaggy behind the wheel. Velma threw open the passenger side door, shouting for them to get in. As they both jumped into the van, Shaggy accelerated away hard and Scooby asked "What happened Rootaroo?"

"That happened!" Scoots exclaimed, pointing into the rear view mirror, where the Crab King was visible climbing down off of the buildings it had scaled.

"Where are the others!?" Velma asked.

"We got split up." Apple Bloom replied. "Not seen Sweetie, Fred, or Daphne since the King showed up!"

Shaggy swerved left and right, back and forth, dodging pedestrians, then took a right when he got to the boardwalk. "Like look! Here's Daphne now! Sweetie Belle too!"

"Am I glad to see you guys!" Daphne said as she climbed aboard. "Where's Freddy?"

"He's not with you?"

"Oh no!" Scooby whined, "The Rrab King must've rot him!"

"Oh don't get ahead of yourself Scooby." Velma said, "Let's try to call him first..."

Fred was still exploring the building he had hidden inside when his phone rang. "Velma? You won't believe what's going on here! What? Oh, you're back already... They're all with you? Good. Listen, I'm looking for a way out of this place now. Yeah. Yeah, I'll meet you at your Uncle's once I get clear..."

XXXXX

An hour later, everyone was gathered together in Clyde Dinkley's home. "So, it looks like it may not be Arthur Darlington." Daphne was explaining, "He's actually expecting an increase in his revenues soon."

"So there goes his motive." Velma said.

"Like yeah, but Chieftain Morr doesn't seem guilty either." Shaggy said.

"So we're back at square one..." Velma mused.

"I dunno. We found some clues." Scootaloo said.

Daphne said "Scoots, you girls didn't even go into the right casino... We saw you coming out of the Regis."

"We went the wrong way sure, but we ended up in the right place." Apple Bloom argued. "Take a look!"

"Right, first there's this!" Scootaloo held up the photograph they had found.

"That's Mister Darlington." Freddy said.

"But why is it full of holes?" Daphne asked.

"'Cause it was bein' used as a dartboard." Apple Bloom explained.

Scootaloo said "And then 'Bloom found this, which is how we knew we were in the wrong office!" She produced the name plate.

Taking it, reading the name engraved on the surface, Freddy said "Okay, I'm not too surprised... But why would he want to do it? It makes no sense."

"One more clue!" Sweetie Belle cheered. She levitated the chunk of metal found in the office closet into view.

"Oh my..." Daphne whispered.

"Is rhat...?" Scooby asked.

"It sure is." Velma answered. "Girls, was there a lot of this?"

"Tons of it." Scootaloo answered.

Velma and Freddy looked each other in the eyes. "It all makes sense now." Velma said.

"Yep... So let's build us a Crab King trap!" Freddy cheered...

XXXXX

A short time later, everything was ready. The gang was gathered near an old dry quarry with the island's junkyard next door. "Okay gang, here's how the plan will work:" Freddy explained. "Crusaders, you'll take the rock and use it to lure the Crab King into chasing you. When he does, you'll lead him back here, where he'll see Shaggy and Scooby dressed as miners digging for more of the stones. Ideally, the Crab King will chase them then, while the regular crabs continue after the three of you."

"Like ideally he says! Freddy there's nothing ideal about a four ton crab chasing you!" Shaggy laughed nervously.

"Yeah!" Scooby agreed.

Apple Bloom asked "That's all well an' good, but how will we get away from the crabs!?"

Velma pointed to a metal drainage pipe wide enough for the fillies to fit through. "Run in there. It dead ends horizontally, but there's a vertical pipe at the end. I'll be waiting at the top, to use the winch we've set up to pull you out, leaving the crabs below."

"Meanwhile," Freddy continued, "Shaggy and Scooby will lead the Crab King into the junkyard. Now listen up you two, this is very important: When you get to the yellow line we've drawn across the path, jump to either side. From that point forward, the path is covered in ball bearings. The Crab King will run onto them, lose it's footing, and tumble directly into the car crusher."

Daphne said "That's where Freddy and I will be waiting. We'll turn it on just long enough to pin the King's legs, trapping him."

"Sounds good." Scootaloo said.

Picking up the stone with her magic, Sweetie Belle nodded. "Yeah! Let's do it!"

XXXXX

"So how'r we supposed 't find the thing?" Apple Bloom asked as the Crusaders trotted side by side.

"I dunno... As big as it is, I'd think it'd really stick out." Sweetie Belle mused. "I mean, how do you miss a crab the size of a house?"

"Beat's me, But ah sure don't see 'em."

Scootaloo said "We gotta draw him in... Follow my lead..." Speaking as loudly as she could, Scootaloo said "Gosh Sweetie Belle! That sure is a pretty rock you found!"

"Eeyup, all shiny an' all!" Apple Bloom shouted just as loud.

"Why thank you girls!" Sweetie yelled, "It is awfully cool, isn't it?"

"And now we wait." Scootaloo said. And wait they did, for several minutes, with no sign of the Crab King. In time, though, Scootaloo noticed that they were standing in a shadow. "Um... Girls?"

"Yeah Scoots?"

"It's... Right behind us isn't it?"

The trio screamed and galloped away as fast as their legs could take them, Crab King and countless Coconut Crabs close on their tails. The King's unexpected arrival from behind forced them to make a wide curve before they were able to head towards where Shaggy and Scooby were waiting, but finally they got onto the correct heading and blew past the Beatnik and his Dog. The first part of the plan worked: The Crab King did indeed notice Shaggy and Scooby and turn to chase them, while the rest of the crabs continued after the ponies.

The Crusaders reached the pipe and barrelled in, Scootaloo shouting "Velma! Get ready!" Above, Velma heard and moved to grab the winch when, out of nowhere, a lone Coconut Crab appeared, scrambled up her back, and for the second time in as many days made off with her glasses.

"I can't see!!" Velma exclaimed, grabbing around for the winch but missing it by a mile. Below, the fillies found themselves pressed in ever tighter by the tremendous mass of crabs.

Meanwhile, Shaggy and Scooby ran for the junkyard and the next phase of the trap. In fairness to them, considering how often they're the ones who screw things up, what happened next was not their fault: As soon as they got to the yellow line Freddy had warned them of, Shaggy jumped to the left and Scooby to the right. They kept running alongside the path, and a good thing because the Crab King didn't fall for it. It continued chasing them, with it's legs to either side of the ball bearing trap.

"Oh no!" Freddy exclaimed, "It didn't work!"

Scooby looked over his shoulder and saw what the King was doing. Eyes narrowed, he complained "Alright, Rhat's cheating!" Then ran as the King scuttled ever closer.

Back at the quarry, more and more crabs pressed into the drainage pipe, building the pressure higher and higher. Something had to give. And give it did, as the Crusaders were ejected from the vertical pipe like darts from a blowgun, screaming as they flew high into the air, peaked, and came back down. Landing directly on top of the Crab King.

"Grr!!! Get off! Get off!!" The King shouted, but it's arms were too short to reach it's back. It tried bucking violently back and forth, but that only encouraged the fillies to hang on even tighter.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!!! CRAB RIDER RODEO!!! YAY!!!"

Given the distraction, it was only a matter of time before the Crab King put a foot down wrong, right onto the ball bearing trap. As it stumbled back towards the car crusher, Daphne shouted "Girls! Jump off!" And slammed her hand down on the power button as they leapt to safety, Shaggy catching Bloom and Sweetie, Scooby catching Scootaloo.

The Crab King tried to get free, but it was well and truly stuck, it's legs reduced to mangled metal when Daphne stopped the crusher before the body was squashed too...

XXXXX

It took an hour to round up everyone involved (Darlington, Morr, Clyde, and the island Sheriff) as well as to find and corner the crab that had taken Velma's glasses. Freddy and Scooby stood guard over the King while everyone else was taking care of these things. But finally everyone was together and ready.

"I can't believe you kids managed to catch the Crab King." The Sheriff said. Eyeing the damaged mechanical legs, he added "Looks like you were right Chief. It's a fake."

"Of course it is." Morr nodded. "But who is inside?"

"There's really only one possible suspect." Velma said, "But let's make sure."

Freddy nodded. "Right! Let's see who the man behind the exoskeleton really is!" With Shaggy's help, he removed the top panel of the crab's body, revealing...

"Elias Vanderberg." The whole gang said together.

Arthur Darlington was confused. "But... Why!? I mean, this makes even less sense than the whole 'trying to buy me out' deal."

"Actually, those two things are connected." Scootaloo said.

Velma said "Exactly. When Freddy and Daphne were talking to you sir, the ponies tried to sneak into your office to look for clues. But they got lost and... somehow... ended up in the wrong building, in Mister Vanderberg's office."

"And while we were there, we found a whole lot of these!" Sweetie Belle levitated the stone into view.

"Platinum Ore." Daphne said. "There must be billions of dollars worth somewhere on this island."

"So... Elias found the ore deposits somehow... And decided to scare everyone off so it would all be his..." Darlington said. "I see it."

Cheiftain Morr said "And, knowing about the legends of Papaka Atua, he decided it was the perfect terror to drive people away. But... How did he control the Coconut Crabs?"

"Pheremones." Velma said. "He must have read Uncle Clyde's papers and ran with it."

"And I would've gotten away with it!" Elias swore, "If it weren't for you snooping ponies, and your dog!"

"Yeah! Re too!"

Elias and the Sheriff ran screaming from the talking dog. Everyone else face-palmed or face-hooved...

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Cockatrice

Author's Note

All songs are set to the tune used in the 1971 Original, not the remake versions:

Also, near the end there is an exchange between Scootaloo and Apple Bloom that I've borrowed from a very old Dilbert strip. It doesn't really effect the story, and was too funny to pass on once I thought of using it.

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Cockatrice

Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle were side by side, looking over the Mystery Machine's front seats and out the windshield as Freddy drove the van through the tight narrow streets of an ancient-looking industrial park. No matter where the fillies looked, they saw only high fences topped with razor wire, stone chimneys belching thick black soot, and sheer metal walls coated in filth. It was the dirtiest, dingiest, ugliest, most dismal and depressing scenery any of the three had ever seen. And considering they had driven through 'Jersey on the way here, that was saying something.

"Seriously you guys," Sweetie Belle said, "What is with humans and places that look like they've just barely survived the appalocalypse?"

"No doubt." Scootaloo agreed.

Velma replied "If you girls think this is bad, you should see some pictures of England during the industrial revolution."

"Like yeah, at least we've gotten a little better." Shaggy nodded, before returning his attention to the octuple-layer salami-lindburger-saurkraut triple cheeseburger he was assembling. Laying on the top bun, Shaggy declared the sandwich perfection, then turned back to the fillies to add "Like, stay close when we get there huh? These neighborhoods can be a little dicey."

"We will." Scootaloo assured him, then looked over his shoulder and added "Say Shaggy? You might not wanna eat that sandwich."

"Huh? Why!?" Shaggy turned and saw why: In the few seconds he had looked away, the whole thing had turned black with pollutants settling on it.

Scooby leaned in and smelled the blackened former sandwich carefully. "Yum yum yum yum yum!" He mumbled, and swallowed in whole.

"How was it?" Scootaloo asked with a look of disgust crossing her features.

"Bleach!" The dog spat.

"Well in spite of the terrible atmosphere I'm still excited!" Daphne said.

"Eeyup. Who woulda thought one'a us woulda won the contest thingy right?" Apple Bloom asked.

Daphne nodded. "Right. One golden ticket entitling the bearer and a small group of their choosing to a full tour of Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory!"

"Shaggy and Scooby in a chocolate factory..." Velma muttered under her breath, "We'll be kicked out inside of ten minutes..."

"Like you're probably right Velma." Shaggy answered, "But what a ten minutes it'll be."

The fillies chuckled at this, and then Freddy said "Well gang, here we are!"

Scootaloo looked out the front of the van again. Before them rose an imposing edifice of steel and shiny crystalline windows, clean and appealing in stark contrast to all the other factories and warehouses in the area. A man, recognizable from the cartoon version of him on the wrappers of all his products, stood waiting before the front doors. "Is that the Wonka guy?" she asked.

"That's him." Freddy confirmed.

Daphne said "I had heard he was leading the tour personally but I didn't believe it."

Freddy pulled the van to a stop and everyone piled out to be met by Wonka. "Welcome welcome welcome! How do you do? I do chocolates!"

"Um..."

"Rhello!"

Wonka looked Scooby over. "Talking dog. How droll."

"Rell I never..."

"Ahh! What is this!?" Wonka bent down, examining Scootaloo carefully. "Well well my dear filly! Such a bright orange! The Oompa Loompas will love you!"

"Oompa... Whats?" Scootaloo asked, head cocked.

As she spoke, the filly began to hear music, getting louder as it's source drew nearer. "Ahh nevermind, here they come now." Wonka said.

Half a moment later the front doors of the factory slammed open and from out of them appeared the oddest creatures anyone present had ever seen: Short, humanoid, but with orange skin, green hair, and strange clothing. Scooby let out a loud fearful 'YOWL!!!" and jumped into Shaggy's arms.

Apple Bloom looked up at Velma. "Ah didn't think humans came in bright orange and green."

"We don't." Velma answered, eyes wide.

The creatures marched single file in a circle around the group, then stood facing them and began to sing:

"Oompa-Loompa, woompedy-doo,
I've got a little query for you;
Oompa-Loompa, Scoobedy-doo,
What will you do,
When it comes after you?

Soon you will come to your gruesome fate;
I don't like the sound of that
(I don't like the sound of that)

Oompa-Loompa, woompedy-lie,
You'll run like hell
If you don't want to die;
Don't stick your nose where it does not belong,
Oompa-Loompa, woompedy-gong!"

As they sang the last verse, the creatures had turned and marched single file back to the doors, which closed behind them as they spoke the last words.

"The Oompa-Loompas everyone!" Wonka laughed and clapped his hands. "We'll see and hear more from them all through the factory! But now let's get started shall we?"

"Hold on." Daphne said. "What was all that about something 'coming after us?'"

"Eeyup, Ah don't like the sound of 'Gruesome fate.'" Apple Bloom agreed.

Scootaloo said "None of us do." She narrowed her eyes. "What's goin' on here anyway!?"

Wonka laughed again, though with a nervous edge this time. "Nothing! That's just the Oompa-Loompas for you! Such kidders! Let's go!" Without waiting he walked quickly to the doors. Everyone shrugged and followed...

XXXXX

The tour went smoothly at first. Wonka led the group across the lobby, on a boat ride down a river of chocolate, through a forest of jawbreaker trees, and up a ladder composed entirely of Pixie Stix. Several times, they caught sight of Oompa-Loompas at work, and while the strange little men always sang, there were no more seemingly threatening lyrics. After perhaps three hours, they came to a large, ornate door.

"Now, behind this door is the most awesome thing I'm going to show you in the whole factory: Central Command! From this one room, armies of Oompa-Loompas guide and control every aspect of candy production with pinpoint accuracy! It's like a finely choreographed ballet!" Wiping a tear from his eye, Wonka turned and opened the door.

The command chamber was indeed as impressive as Wonka had promised. Large monitor screens lined all of the walls with control stations underneath them and more workstations filling the center of the room. The stations themselves, as one would expect from Wonka, were not dismal gray but colorful, with desktops made to look like chocolate bars and support posts that resembled candy canes. An Oompa-Loompa sat or stood at each console.

"All right Loompas!" Wonka exclaimed as he strode into the room, "We have guests! Let's look alive!" None of them moved.

"This is kind of creepy..." Sweetie Belle whispered.

"Like you said it." Shaggy agreed.

Daphne asked "Why are they so still? They're like statues."

Scooby poked his head around from behind Shaggy and smelled deeply. "Rhey are statues!" He said. Looking closer, everyone could see it was true. All of the Oompa-Loompas were actually light-brown statues.

"No!!" Wonka exclaimed, throwing his hat to the floor, "No No No! Not Again!"

"Not again what?" Velma asked. "Scootaloo had it right earlier didn't she? Something weird is going on here isn't it?"

Wonka slumped down in an empty chair. "It started two weeks ago. All of my Oompa-Loompas are being turned into statues... By the Chocotrice!"

"Cockatrice!?" The Crusaders exclaimed.

"No, no... Chocotrice, not Cockatrice."

"An' the difference is?" Apple Bloom asked, one eyebrow raised.

Wonka motioned to one of the statues. "A Cockatrice turns it's victims into statues made of stone. A Chocotrice turns it's victims into statues made of delicious Wonka milk-chocolate."

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard." Velma said, deadpan.

Daphne had a different question: "Wait... Specifically Wonka chocolate?"

"Oh yes, I tasted it myself."

"EWWW!" Everyone chorused.

"Well gang," Freddy said, "It looks like we've got another mystery on our hands!"

"And hooves!" Sweetie Belle added.

"Wait- Are you offering to help me?" Wonka asked. "Oh that's very generous, thank you! But it's too dangerous, I couldn't possibly..."

"Don't worry Mister Wonka. This is what we do." Velma said.

"We've got lots of solved mysteries under our hats." Daphne agreed.

"So what's the plan?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Clue-gathering first, like usual." Freddy said. "Two groups: Shaggy, you, Velma, Scooby, and Scootaloo will be the first group. Head back through the parts of the factory we've already seen. Meanwhile, Daphne and I will take Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom and forge on ahead."

"Like that sounds good to me." Shaggy said.

"It rous?" Scooby asked.

"Like yeah Scoob! We get the places we know there's not a monster 'cause we've already been there!"

"But what about me?" Wonka asked.

"I think it's better if you wait here sir." Velma said. "You can lock the doors behind us and monitor the factory."

"Y'all got a P.A. in this place right?" Apple Bloom asked. Wonka nodded.

"It's perfect then! You can warn us if you see anything on the cameras sneaking up on us!" Scootaloo agreed.

“And you can call out to me if you have any questions. There are microphones everywhere in the factory."

"Then it's settled." Freddy said. "Come on gang, let's do this!"

XXXXX

Shaggy, Velma, Scooby, and Scootaloo strolled along the bank of a wide river of slowly flowing chocolate, flanked by ‘trees’ whose fruit was gumdrops, jawbreakers, and marshmallows. They had already explored all the way back to the front doors, finding nothing of interest to their investigation, and were now on the way back to the control room. As they went, Shaggy and Scooby occasionally plucked a marshmallow from one of the trees, skewered it on a branch also taken from a tree, and dipped it in the river.

“Like, you know, I didn’t wanna say anything in front of Mister Wonka... But this place is really kind of weird.”

“You said it Shaggy.” Velma agreed.

“Yeah, this is funky even by Equestrian standards.” Scootaloo said, then giggled, “But I bet Pinkie would love it.”

They continued along, when suddenly Scooby's ears perked up. "Rhat's that?" He asked.

"Like you hear something Scoob?"

"Reah!"

Scootaloo listened intently. "I hear it too." She whispered. "Over this way!"

The quartet followed the sounds off of the path, into the candy tree forest, to a low brick wall. Peaking over the top, they found a large collection of chocolate Oompa-Loompa statues standing in rows. Living Loompas were delivering more of them on hand trucks, presumably from the new collection of statues found in the control room. After the last of the new statues had been dropped off, after the Oompa-Loompas were gone, the gang climbed over the wall for a closer look.

"Huh... It's like a freaky chocolate version of those imperial tombs in China, with all the statues in rank and file." Velma said.

"Like it's kinda weird that they're keeping them all don't you think?" Shaggy wondered.

Velma nodded. "Yeah, that is odd... Although... From what we've seen of Mister Wonka I'm amazed he isn't wrapping and selling them."

Scootaloo knocked a hoof against one of the statues. It sounded hollow. "Hay, if these are supposed to be real live Oompa-Loompas turned into chocolate, why's there nothing inside?"

"Like yeah! They should be filled with chocolate organs shouldn't they?"

Velma shook her head. This conversation was getting weird. "Maybe. But what I'm wondering... Hey Scooby! Try a bite will you?"

"Oh boy oh boy oh boy!" Scooby plucked a button off one of the statue's overalls and gobbled it down.

"Well?"

"It's Ronka brand all right."

"Okay... So, we know for sure that the chocolate used to make the statues is coming from right here in the factory. That's a start. But it still leaves a lot of questions..."

"Yeah, like why it's happening. And why Mister Wonka hasn't been turned into a statue. And why-" Scootaloo was interrupted as a nearby door opened. An Oompa-Loompa started through, pushing an empty hand truck. When he spotted the gang he jumped in place, then ran back out the door. Voiced could be heard, and then a line of a dozen Loompas marched in, accompanied by a familiar tune.

"Oh not this again." Velma sighed.

"Oompa-Loompa, woompety-doo,
I've got another query for you;
Oompa-Loompa, doobedy-rome,
Why don't you know,
When it's time to go home?

Oompa-Loompa, diggety-bint,
If you are wise you will take a hint;
Oompa-Loompa, bibbety-sheave,
Hurry along, it's time
For you to leave..."

As they filed out the door, one of the Loompas loaded a statue onto his cart and wheeled it out with him.

"Hmmm... Why would they take one of the statues with them?"

"Dessert?" Scooby suggested.

Chuckling at Scooby's answer, Scootaloo suggested "Maybe we should follow them."

A roar echoed through the air. "Like, I don't think we're gonna get the chance!" Shaggy exclaimed, pointing, "Look!"

Above the tops of the candy trees, a giant chicken head appeared. It rose higher and higher, supported by a massive serpentine body. The Chocotrice had arrived. It roared again, then jerked its head forward spitting out a gob of molten chocolate that splattered against the door the Oompa-Loompas had used, hardening instantly, sealing the door closed.

"Jinkies! There really is a Chocotrice!"

"Don't look it in the eyes!" Scootaloo shouted, "That's how these things get you!"

"Like don't look at it at all run!!"

Heeding Shaggy's advice, everyone turned tail and ran, along the low brick wall and back into the candy tree forest, though in the opposite direction from the monster. With a roar the Chocotrice gave chase, smashing through the trees. As it came, it continued to spit masses of chocolate which Velma and Scootaloo dodged while Shaggy and Scooby caught them in their mouths.

Passing through the trees, the gang soon returned to the shores of the chocolate river. "Look! A boat!" Shaggy cheered. "Let's get outta here!"

"No ray!" Scooby argued. "Too slow!"

"It's out best bet Scooby!" Scootaloo said, hopping in next to Velma.

"It's getting closer! Get in!"

"Ruh-uh."

"Will you get in for a Scooby snack?"

"Rhole box."

"Like done!" Shaggy pulled Scooby's mouth open, dumped in the box of Scooby Snacks, and shoved the mouth closed like it was a cash register til. Just then, the monster arrived, reared back, and spat the largest mass of chocolate yet.

"Scooby-Doo!!" The Great Dane exclaimed, as he jumped straight up, swallowed the whole glob, then landed in the back of the boat, wound up his tail, and stuck it in the chocolate river as a outboard motor. The boat and its passengers sped away.

"Okay... That was awesome!" Scootaloo cheered.

"Four words." Scooby said, "Chocolate. Rovered. Scooby. Snacks."

"I'll look into that." Velma chuckled.

"Like yeah. But now we're home free!"

"Don't be so sure!" Scootaloo said, "Look!" She pointed with a hoof to where the Chocotrice was rearing up as high as it could over the river. Then it slammed down bodily into the molten chocolate, setting off a massive wave of chocolate surging down the river towards the boat.

"Zoinks!! Chocolate Tsunami!"

"Actually Shaggy, 'tsunami refers specifically to-" Velma face palmed mid sentence. "Oh what am I saying!? Faster Scooby!"

Scooby saluted and poured it on, gradually gaining on the approaching wave. After several seconds, they came to a place where the river flowed between a pair of high concrete wall. A set of stairs led up, and everyone jumped ship, clambering up the stairs above the top of the wave, getting clear just as it hit and smashed the boat to bits.

"Okay, we're safe from that, but where's the Chocotrice!?" Scootaloo wondered.

Velma looked back down the course of the river and out over the trees. There was no sign of movement. "I think we lost him." She said.

"Like it must've thought we were done for after the wave." Shaggy agreed. "Now let's get back to that control room pronto!"

XXXXX

Meanwhile, Fred, Daphne, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle were exploring a very different part of the factory. Unlike the unfettered whimsy of the actual production areas, the warehouse was nearly normal, distinguishable from other facilities of it's kind only by the riotous color scheme of the massive steel shelving. Nothing seemed amiss at first. There were twenty rows of twenty-foot high shelves, each several hundred feet long, and a set of ten semi-truck loading docks. Oompa-Loompas were at work, loading and unloading, but attempts to question them yielded only more bizarre songs.

But as the group rounded a corner at the far end of the docks, Daphne saw something out of place. "Hey, look here! We just came from the docks right? But these stairs going down say 'To docks.'"

"Huh. What gives?" Freddy wondered.

"Let's find out." Bloom said. "We can take this here elevator."

They moved past the stairs, to what looked like an elevator. But, the sign over the doors instead read 'Wonkavator.'

"Wonkavator?" Sweetie Belle asked, head cocked. "What's that mean?"

Freddy said "It's probably just Mister Wonka's name for an elevator."

"Ah dunno about that." Apple Bloom said. "Take a gander at this here control panel..."

Everyone gathered in close. Instead of the usual controls for an elevator, consisting of floor numbers, this was far more complex and strange:

Wonkavator Controls:
Up
Down
Left
Right
Back
Forward
Past
Future
Here
There
Roulette

"What in the world...?" Daphne wondered.

"Mister Wonka?" Freddy called out, "Are you watching?"

Wonka's voice came over the P.A. "Yes Freddy I'm here. I'd take the stairs if I were you. The Wonkavator is still experimental."

"But why Wonkavator? Why not Elevator?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Yeah what's the difference?" Apple Bloom added.

"Oh well an elevator only goes up or down. A Wonkavator goes in any direction you want, in any dimension! And not just the three dimensions we normally live in either! It can even access time, and the other seven that are usually hidden!"

"Okay..." Daphne whispered skeptically. "So, what about the docks? The stairs say they go down to the docks, but we just passed the docks on this floor!"

"You just passed the truck docks my dear." Wonka answered. "Downstairs are the boat docks, where we ship our products overseas."

"That actually makes sense." Freddy said. "Okay, thank you Mister Wonka!" He turned to the others, "Let's go check it out."

"Usin' the stairs." Apple Bloom said, and everyone nodded.

At the bottom of the stairs, the boat docks waited. There were berths for three large cargo freighters, though only one of them was occupied. Oompa-Loompas were at work here too, most of them operating electric forklifts or cranes to transfer pallets of candy onto the waiting freighter. A few, though, were engaged in a less easily explained endeavor...

"Why are they loading the Oompa-Loompa statues onto the ship?" Daphne wondered.

"I dunno." Freddy answered. "But the statues must be pretty heavy. Look how they're struggling with them..."

Sure enough, the Loompas moving the statues were indeed having a hard time of it. Two and even three of them were needed to lift each of the statues and carefully carry it aboard the ship. As the group watched, two sets of three Oompa-Loompas each carried a pair of statues into the ship, and once they were out of sight only one statue was left waiting on the docks.

"Something's fishy here." Apple Bloom said.

"It sure is." Freddy agreed. "Come on, before those Oompa-Loompas come back I want a closer look at that statue." They ran onto the docks and down the gangway to where the statue was waiting.

"It looks normal enough..." Sweetie Belle said.

"Yeah, except for these holes drilled into it." Daphne said. She pointed out a set of twelve small holes drilled into the front of the statue.

"And this." Apple Bloom said. Centered on the upper back of the statue was a large patch of chocolate that appeared to have been melted.

"Maybe we should try to take this with us." Freddy suggested. But when he tried to move the statue it proved even heavier than he had expected. "Whew! No wonder it took two and three of them to move these!"

"No taking it with, then." Daphne said.

Sweetie Belle said "Maybe we should just go. Before they come back."

"Right you are." Freddy agreed, but when they turned to leave the path was blocked by a group of Oompa-Loompas who were all facing them. Naturally, they began to sing:

"Oompa-Loompa, woompety-cheer,
The docks are off-limits,
You cannot be here;
Oompa-Loompa, dibetty-lof,
If you poke your nose in,
It might get cut off.

Soon you will be wearing cho-co-late shoes;
At the bottom of the sea.
(At the bottom of the sea.)

Oompa-Loompa, woompety-jurt,
We don't want nobody
should get hurt;
Oompa-Loompa, Shoobedy-"

The song cut off mid-verse as the Oompa-Loompas let out a yell and ran screaming. Sweetie Belle looked over her shoulder, eyes going wide as she saw what the Loompas were fleeing from. "It's the Chocotrice!" She screamed. Sure enough, the monster had arrived, rising up out of the water behind the gang.

"Run for it!" Freddy called to the others, "I'll try to hold it off!"

As Daphne and the ponies fled, Fred stooped down and picked up a wrench someone had dropped, intending to throw it at the beast. But as he stretched his arm back for the throw, the Chocotrice lobbed a mass of chocolate that struck and froze solid around his hand. "Yikes!" He exclaimed, and ran to catch up with the others as the monster followed.

By the time Freddy reached the stairs, the others were already halfway up. He had planned to take a minute to catch his breath, but that proved impossible when, contrary to expectations, the Chocotrice actually managed to fit in the stairwell. It was tight, yes, but the monster slowly wormed its way up the stairs. "Run! It's still coming!" He shouted as he caught up to the others at a landing.

The monster spit another glob of chocolate, which flew past Freddy and instead hit Sweetie Belle, leaving only her horn exposed as it hardened. Not missing a beat, Freddy grabbed her up as he ran past. The group made it to the top of the stairs while the monster was still less than halfway up, and just as Sweetie Belle's horn glowed briefly, shattering the chocolate around her face. " *Gasp!* I couldn't breath!" She wailed. "Are we safe!?"

"Not yet, it's still after us." Apple Bloom answered.

"We need to hide!" Daphne said.

"This way!" Freddy took the lead as they ran across the warehouse, turning into a random aisle and running a short distance down said aisle. "Okay, the Chocotrice will be reaching the top of the stairs any second! But it can't see us here from there. So, where do we hide?"

"How 'bout this?" Apple Bloom asked. She had climbed into the second shelf of the steel, where there was a pallet with an empty cardboard dump bin. "We'll all fit!"

The Chocotrice' roar echoed through the warehouse.

"It's getting close, that'll have to do!" Daphne decided. "Everyone in!"

They barely made it out of sight before the monster appeared around the far end of the steel shelving. It slithered past the aisle they had hid in, but soon came back, slowly moving down the aisle, searching. Twice, it passed their hiding place none the wiser. But on the third pass, it noticed something on the floor; A tiny piece of the same chocolate it had spit at Freddy and Sweetie Belle. Rising slowly up, examining each pallet, it came to the gang's hiding place.

"Now!" Freddy shouted. He and Daphne flipped the empty dump bin over the monster's head, blinding it as they and the ponies ran for it further down the aisle.

Halfway down, Apple Bloom stopped. "Keep goin' Yall! I got a plan!" She turned away from the steel and bucked backwards as hard as she could. The steel support beam bend, buckled, gave way. With a rumble, an entire section of shelving came down, cutting off the monster's pursuit.

"Great work 'Bloom!" Daphne cheered.

Freddy nodded "Right! Now let's get back to the control room, quick!"

"Can you get me outta this stuff first?" Sweetie Belle asked from under Freddy's arm...

XXXXX

Back on the other side of the factory, Velma was questioning Scootaloo as they also headed towards the control room. "So... You've seen an actual cockatrice back on your world?"

"Oh yeah. It turned Miss Twilight into stone and tried to do the same to us!"

"Hmmm... So what did it look like? What I mean is, You've seen that, you've seen the Chocotrice, do they look alike?"

"Pretty much. Except... Huh." Scootaloo mused. "Yeah, there is one difference. Size."

"Size?"

"Sure. You just saw how huge the Chocotrice is. The Cockatrice wasn't like that. The 'chicken' part of it was no bigger than a real chicken. Hay, when we first saw it, before it rose up and we saw the snake body, we all thought it was just a chicken."

"Like man o man you can't say that here." Shaggy said. "This chicken is, like, the size of a small car! You could pack a hundred normal chickens in it!"

"A hundred chickens..." Velma said, "Or two or three people..."

"*Gulp!*" Scooby swallowed hard. "Rhat means it could eat us all in one bite!"

"Not quite what I meant Scooby." Velma said.

They came to a set of closed wooden doors. "Like I don't remember which door is the right one." Shaggy said.

"Just check 'em all." Scootaloo said.

They began to do so, finding little of interest until Scooby opened a door near the end of the hall. His eyes went wide and he began to whimper, then bolted through the door. Shaggy, Velma, and Scootaloo exchanged a confused look, then followed. Beyond the door was a simple store room. And in it were chocolate statues of every member of the gang. Scooby was clinging to the Shaggy statue, crying. "Rhaggy! Roh-no! It got you it got you!"

"Um, Scoob, I'm right here pal."

"Huh!? Rhaggy!!" Scooby knocked Shaggy to the ground in joy. "But rhat's...?"

"Good question." Scootaloo said, looking over the statue of herself. "Hay look at this! It's hollow like the others, but it's also a little bigger than me."

"Like so is mine." Shaggy said. "If there was a door I bet I could fit inside it."

"What do you think it means Velma?" Scootaloo asked.

"I'm still not sure on the rest of it..." Velma answered, "But it looks like someone is planning to get rid of us and make Mister Wonka think we've become statues too."

"But rhy wouldn't the Rhocotrice just make us statues for real?"

"If we figure that out we'll have all of our answers. For now let's find the right door and get back together with the others..."

XXXXX

The gang was finally all back together, gathered just outside the doors to Wonka's control room where they were exchanging information. "So the Oompa-Loompa statues you guys saw were all hollow and light weight?" Freddy asked.

"That's right." Velma confirmed.

"The statues of us too." Scootaloo said.

Velma began to pace. "Okay... Hollow statues when they're first found and stored. Heavy statues filled with something that needs air holes and resealed with the same kind of high melting point chocolate spit by the Chocotrice when they're loaded on the boats..."

"There's gotta be a connection." Daphne said.

"But what?" Scootaloo asked.

Velma said "Not quite sure yet Scoots... I've almost got it but I think I'm missing one last important clue. Come on, let's have a word with Mister Wonka."

They pushed through the heavy double doors and went into the control room, where Wonka was waiting for them. "I saw how things went." He said, "It's still a mystery isn't it?"

"Kinda." Apple Bloom said.

"If you don't mind me asking sir," Velma said, "Just where did the Oompa-Loompas come from anyway?"

"Yes, I've never heard of anything like them!" Daphne agreed.

"Oh well they come from Loompaland of course."

"Sir I've seen globes of the world. There is no such place."

"Not on globes, no. But, have you ever noticed how when you flatten a globe out to make a map there are big gaps left on the flat paper? You can find all sorts of places by going there."

"That's just not possible!" Velma exclaimed.

"Then how did I get there?" Wonka countered. "Loompaland, Avalon, Brigadoon, Narnia, Valinor... It's all there if you know where to look!"

While Velma paced away with her head in her hands, Freddy said "Let's try to stay on track here sir. You went to Loompaland and...?"

"Oh! Well it's a terrible place! I mean the Loompas themselves are wonderful but everything else about it is right out of a nightmare! Those poor Loompas have to live in primitive tree house cities, constantly at risk from ravenous beasts that could snack on them by the bunch." Wonka shook his head. "Terrible. Which is why I bought them here where they'd be safe from all that!"

Velma's head snapped around to look at the others at this last. "And there it is. The last piece. It all adds up now."

"It... Does...?" Sweetie Belle asked, head cocked.

Freddy nodded. "I think I see it too Velma. Now all we need is a Chocotrice trap...

XXXXX

An hour later. The gang was gathered in the warehouse. "Okay gang, here's the plan:" Freddy explained. "First, notice that if you enter through this particular set of doors, it's a straight shot down this shelving aisle and onto the truck docks. There's a completely empty trailer parked at one of those docks with it's door wide open. Shaggy-"

"Like let me guess. Scooby, Scoots and me will go out into the factory and lure the Chocotrice back here."

"Exactly." Daphne said. "When you get here, you'll go straight down the aisle, hang a sharp right, and make for the trailer."

"But won't that trap us in the trailer with the monster?" Scootaloo asked.

Freddy said "Not if your fellow Crusaders play their part right. Sweetie, 'Bloom, the two of you will be up in that control room." He pointed to the place he meant. "We have a net connected to a crane laid out right in front of the trailer door. When our bait gets there, you just throw the switch and pull them up to safety!"

"That's when Velma comes in right?" Apple Bloom asked.

Velma nodded. "Right. As soon as Scooby, Shaggy, and Scootaloo are clear, I'll push over a drum of vegetable oil, making the floor too slick for the Chocotrice to stop. It'll slide right into the trailer, then Freddy and Daphne will pull the door shut trapping it."

"Sounds like it should work." Sweetie Belle said.

"Which is why somethin'll go horribly wrong." Apple Bloom replied.

"Yeah." Scootaloo said, "But at least there's no tree sap around here..."

XXXXX

Scootaloo, Shaggy, and Scooby were creeping through the factory, seeking out the Chocotrice. "So why are we creeping?" The filly asked. "Don't we want it to find us?"

"Like that's a matter of opinion." Shaggy answered.

"Reah. Opinion."

Shaggy sighed. "But Scoots is right Scooby. As much as I don't like it, the others are waiting. I guess we should get this over with."

"Okay Rhaggy."

With Scootaloo in the lead, the trio marched boldly down the main factory floor, alongside the river of chocolate. Before long, they had walked all the way back to the front doors, having found nothing. Even the Oompa-Loompas seemed to have vanished. "Huh. Where is everyone?" Scootaloo wondered.

"Like no idea. But let's head back. If we're lucky, the monster won't even show itself. And if it does, at least now we'll be pointing in the right direction anyway."

Barely had Shaggy finished speaking when the glass doors and windows at the front entrance shattered inward, smashed by the Chocotrice as it slithered in roaring loudly. Man, dog, and pony fled, monster in hot pursuit. They had a bit of a lead, thanks to the Chocotrice momentarily hanging up on the door frames, but it was much faster once it was free.

"We'll never make it like this!" Scootaloo shouted.

"We need a diversion!" Shaggy agreed, "Like quick, in here!" He opened a door and they all ducked through. And stared. At the enormous blueberry girl hooked up to tubes draining her of juice. "Um..."

"Never mind me." The girl said. "Have to do this once a week or else I'll either explode or turn into a blueberry kaiju."

"Okaaay..."

The Chocotrice roared. It was getting close.

"Rhaggy! Rootaroo! I've got a plan! Rollow my lead!"

Moments later, the monster slammed in through the door. To find a quartet of fruit people: Blueberry, Apple, Orange, and Lemon. "Like just our weekly juicing!" The Orange said. The monster nodded and slithered away.

"I don't believe that worked." Scootaloo groused, removing her apple costume.

"Rhy don't believe you made me be remon." Scooby said. "Rhy hate remon!"

"What matters is it worked. Let's go."

Leaving the bizarre victim of Wonka's illegal experimentation behind, they continued towards the warehouse.

"Like I really hope that's not where Wonka's blueberry flavoring comes from." Shaggy shuddered.

"Yeah... Let's just find the Chocotrice somewhere closer to the warehouse huh?"

"Reah."

The good news is, they did. The bad news is, they ran through the wrong set of warehouse doors. Which in turn put them in position to run down the wrong aisle. Which, might not have been a problem, except:

"Oh no!" Freddy exclaimed. They're in the aisle Apple Bloom blocked off earlier!"

"Roh-no!" Scooby screamed, seeing the massive pile of broken shelving blocking their way.

"Through here!" Scootaloo yelled, having noticed an empty slot. "We can get into the next aisle!"

Shaggy, Scootaloo, and Scooby all ducked through the opening. Once on the other side they were back on track and ran for the empty trailer. The monster got caught trying to follow, but only for a moment before popping loose and continuing the chase.

"It's coming!" Sweetie Belle yelled. "Now Apple Bloom!"

Apple Bloom triggered the crane that was meant to pull Scootaloo, Shaggy and Scooby to safety. Or, more accurately, she triggered the wrong button. Instead of pulling the trio up, the netting began to swing them around wildly back and forth. Velma barely managed to jump clear before she would have been hit. The drum of vegetable oil was hit, spilling all over the floor. Thanks to this lucky blow, it momentarily appeared that the plan might work in spite of Bloom's error: The Chocotrice hit the oil slick and slid right into the trailer, just as planned.

But when Freddy and Daphne jumped down from their hiding places to close the trailer doors, they too slipped and slid on the oil. With a terrible racket the Chocotrice turned itself around and surged back out of the trailer.

Right into the path of the net with Scootaloo and company. They struck the monster at full speed, the impact knocking the trio free and sending all three of them, and the monster itself, sailing through the air, and into the Wonkavator, where they vanished with a flash of light.

"Scootaloo!!" Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom screamed together.

"Um, what just happened?" Velma asked as everyone left rushed to the front of the machine.

"I don't know." Freddy said. "This is one of Mister Wonka's experimental inventions. And from the way he talked, it could have sent them anywhere!"

Wonka himself came running as fast as he could. "I saw! Get back!" He began pushing buttons on the control panel in a coded sequence. After a few seconds, the Chocotrice flew back out, slamming up against a brick wall. It was followed by Scootaloo, Shaggy, and Scooby, who piled into the monster.

"Scootaloo! Shaggy! Scooby! Are you okay!?" Sweetie Belle asked.

Eyes wide, Scootaloo said "While only a minute passed here, we were floating in the other dimension for three hundred thousand years!"

"Wow." Apple Bloom said, "It's lucky ah didn't reach in there with mah watch hoof."

"Yes I Was Bored!! Thanks For Asking!!"

XXXXX

Willy Wonka looked at the disabled Chocotrice. "I can't thank you kids enough! You've saved my factory!"

"Actually Mister Wonka... I'm not so sure of that." Velma said.

"Hmm? How do you mean?"

Scootaloo said "Because, when you put all the clues together, there's only one possible culprit here..."

Shaggy and Freddy lifted the head off of the mechanical Chocotrice. Three orange faces stared out. "The Oompa-Loompas." Every member of Mystery Inc. said together.

Wonka was flabbergasted. "But... Why...?"

Before any of the gang could answer, the trio of Oompa-Loomas climbed out of the ruined monster, stood in a row before Wonka, and began to sing:

"Oompa-Loompa, woompety-lumb,
How can you be, so freakin' dumb?
Oompa-Loompa, Fibbery-crave,
You took us from our homes,
and made us your slaves."

"Slaves!? Wonka exclaimed. "No! No I didn't... I didn't mean... But Loompaland is so dangerous..."

"And so you bought them here." Apple Bloom said. "But did y'all think 't ask if that's what they wanted?"

"Equestria can be dangerous too Mister Wonka. But it's still our home. Just like Loompaland is theirs." Sweetie Belle said.

Velma explained "Which is the explanation for all of this. The Oompa-Loompas made chocolate statues of themselves big enough to hide inside. Then they created the Chocotrice to keep you from figuring out the truth, and loaded themselves onto boats back to Loompaland."

"But slaves? I never meant... Oh sweet gumdrops I did didn't I?" Wonka looked at the trio of Loompas. "I'm so sorry. I swear to you I never meant anything bad. And I promise I'll get you all home, no more tricks needed."

"Like, what's that mean for the factory?" Shaggy asked.

Wonka shrugged. "I guess I'll have to hire normal human workers. Though, Loompas, if any of you ever decide you'd like to work for me- legitimately- I'll have a place for you."

The Loompas smiled.

"Oompa-Loompa, scoobedy-way,
Some of us might stay,
For an increase in pay...
Oompa-Loompa, Scoota-loo-tay,
A good dental plan,
And a 401 (k)."

"Done."

"And so all's well that ends well." Daphne said.

"Like yeah, although I can't shake the feeling we're forgetting something..."

And elsewhere a forgotten Blueberry's draining tubes backed up, and began to flow backwards...

Horror of the Horseless Headman!

Author's Note

In terms of what it looks like,
basically, think this guy, only
a lot bigger:

Also:

The substance in this chapter is fictional. I had hoped to use
something real, but research quickly showed me that all of my
options were either:
A: Too harmless.
B: Too lethal.
C: Also dangerous to humans.

Given that, making something up was my best bet.

Horror of the Horseless Headman!

Cleaveland's Corner, Kansas. Balanced precariously on the line between large town and small city the burg was supported by the revenue streams of hundreds of horse ranches large and small. 'Was' past tense, for as our tale begins the town was threatened by a most peculiar circumstance, which was causing ranchers all around to gather up their herds and leave the area. Indeed, as we look out upon a gravel road running through the fields to the west late one evening, we hear a steadily growing ruckus which resolves itself into the thunderous beats of hundreds of hooves. Panicked horses, over fifty of them, charge past, running scared as if the devil himself were on their tails.

Close behind the stampeding equines we find a range rover, following. As the herd goes off road and into terrain too rough for the vehicle to pursue, it pulls to the shoulder of the road and a man emerges from the driver's door. He is older, but still built powerfully from a lifetime of farm work. "Damn it! Not again!" He curses, slamming a fist down onto the rover's hood.

A woman steps from the passenger door. "Gunther, maybe we should just go. Everyone else is." She says.

"No way Penny." Gunther growls. "My family's been here for four generations! I'm not leavin'!"

"But if the stories are true..."

"They ain't. I mean come on! It's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life!"

Before the woman could answer, both she and he heard an odd sound. It started low, then it started to grow, like the wind moaning in winter but not that, a howling that bought ice to the bones. They looked back the way they had come from, just as the source strode into view. "No way in hell." Gunther whispered as he saw, and then Penny screamed as it rushed towards them...

XXXXX

One day later. Halloween. Mystery Inc's travels had bought them to Cleavland's Corner just in time for the holiday, happily for Shaggy, Scooby, and the Crusaders who were not missing out on the chance to go trick or treating. Shaggy had dressed as a cowboy, Scooby as a pirate, Scootaloo as a ninja, Apple Bloom as (of course) an apple tree, and Sweetie Belle as a princess. (That is, Equestrian princess, so, fake wings.)

Freddy pulled Mystery Machine to the curb at the end of a long winding residential street on the west side of town, and everyone piled out. He and Daphne had chosen not to dress up. Velma was at least wearing a sweater with the words 'This is my costume' emblazoned across the front. "Alright everyone, here we are!" Freddy announced.

"Yay!" The fillies chorused.

"Like this is gonna be awesome!" Shaggy said.

"Yeah! Rawsome!"

"So y'all just say 'trick or treat' right?" Apple Bloom asked, "Not the whole 'Nightmare Night' line?"

"That's right." Daphne said.

Velma added "Your line is cool, but it wouldn't really work since we don't call it Nightmare Night."

"I guess not." 'Bloom said.

Practically vibrating with excitement, Scootaloo said only "Great! Let's go already!"

"Right." Shaggy said. "Fred, Daphne, see you later."

Fred and Daphne waved as the others started off down the road, then went for a romantic couple's walk of their own.

Meanwhile, the rest of the gang approached the first house. The porch light was on, and there were Jack O Lanterns and skeletons on the porch. Shaggy rang the bell, and after a few seconds a young man opened the door, a large bowl of candy in his hands. "Trick or treat!" Everyone exclaimed, and the man smiled and started to pass out the treats when he looked down and noticed the ponies.

"What!? You three shouldn't be here!"

"Huh?"

"Why not?"

"It's dangerous for you, that's why not!" The man quickly dropped a pair of peanut butter cups in each of the girl's bags. "There. Now go! Hurry! Get out of here! Get out of town! Now!" He slammed the door in their faces.

"Well that was rude." Velma said.

"Yeah, but at least he did give us candy." Scootaloo said. She frowned. "Wonder what that was all about anyway?"

"Like I'm sure I don't know. Let's go on to the next house, huh?"

Continuing down the street, they stopped at many more homes without further incident, save for a guy dressed as Charlie Brown who gave them all rocks and called it 'meta.' Bags filling with candy, apples, and popcorn balls, they reached the end of the street, crossed over, and started back the other way.

"Hay! I just noticed something..." Scootaloo said, "Where's everyone else?"

The others looked around, taking notice for the first time of what Scootaloo meant: There were no other trick or treaters in sight.

"Like weird." Shaggy said.

"Yeah! You'd think there'd be kids everywhere." Sweetie Belle agreed.

"Well it is a weeknight." Velma said. "Maybe this is one of those towns where most people do it on the weekend no matter when the actual day falls."

"Maybe... Still seems like there'd be somebody else around though...."

The third house on this side of the road was a large three story structure, old but well cared for, with a deep front porch. Something about the place screamed 'old money.' There were no decorations in evidence, but the porch light was on so they knocked. The knock was answered by a sixtyish woman with steel-grey hair in a tight bun and cold hazel eyes. She looked down at the fillies, then sneered at Shaggy and Velma. "What is the meaning of this!?"

"Like trick or treat ma'am!" Shaggy replied, holding out his bag.

"You know what I mean! How dare you bring these... horses... Onto my property!"

"Ponies." Sweetie Belle corrected.

"It's Halloween ma'am." Velma said. "We're just-"

The woman interrupted her, "You know good and well what you're doing! Who put you up to this!? To think that anyone would dare to bring filthy horses-"

"Ponies."

"Horses! Here! Get out! Get off my property you trespassers! Now! Before I call the police!"

"Okay okay, we're going, sheesh!" Scootaloo turned and trotted back down the walk toward the road, followed by the others. She looked over her shoulder to see the woman still staring after them. If looks could kill, the glare would have been a small nuke.

"Crab." Apple Bloom grumbled.

"Yeah, Rrab." Scooby agreed.

Velma said "You said it. Still... Isn't it awfully strange to choose to live in a horse-ranching community if you don't like equines?"

"Maybe she just can't afford to leave?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Nuh-uh. You saw that place right? The old bat's loaded." Scootaloo argued.

"No name calling girls." Velma said, then muttered "Even if I agree with you."

Scootaloo shook her head. "I guess you're right... Let's just go on to the next house, eh?

XXXXX

Meanwhile, Fred and Daphne were walking hand in hand three streets over, enjoying the decorations and each other's company. "As much as I love our friends," Daphne said, "There's just no together alone time in the van."

"You said it." Freddy agreed. He chuckled, "Hey, look at this one!" The house they were passing was decorated to the hilt, with a glowing eye in each upstairs window and fake blood running from the sills of each of the bottom windows.

"That's neat."

"Yeah, I love Halloween... Say, you know what would make it even better?"

"Oh no Freddy, don't you dare say it!" Daphne exclaimed. "We don't need a mystery tonight!"

"But Daphne, how perfect would it be to have a Halloween monster on Halloween!?"

"Yeah, yeah, it'd be appropriate. But what about our alone time?"

"Well we always split up anyway..."

It was about then that they heard the sounds of a man cussing to himself, accompanied by the sounds of some heavy object being dragged along the ground. Investigating, the couple found a rancher trying to muscle a large heavy chest into his truck. Freddy rushed forward and grabbed ahold of a corner of the chest, saying "Let me help you!"

Together, they managed to lift the heavy weight the rest of the way into the vehicle. Wiping his brow with a handkerchief, the man offered his hand to shake. "Thank you kindly young man. Not sure I ever woulda managed that myself."

"Always happy to help. Oh! I'm Fred and this is Daphne."

"Gunther Hollings. M' wife Penny's inside loadin' up the next chest."

"Next chest? Going on a trip or something?" Daphne asked.

Penny appeared at the door. "Y'all aren't from around here are ya?"

"No ma'am. We're just passing through, needed a place to stop while our friends went trick or treating." Freddy explained.

Gunther and Penny's eyes both went wide. "You got kids running around this town at night!?"

"Well there are a couple of our friends with them."

"Even so..." Gunther said, "You asked if we was goin' on a trip. Fact is, we're gettin' outta town and never coming back!"

Penny added "And if y'all are wise, you'll do the same."

"Do you mind if we ask why?" Freddy asked.

"Well because o' him of course... Because of the Horseless Headman!"

"Don't you mean Headless Horseman?" Daphne asked with one eyebrow raised.

Penny laughed. "I wish! I mean, that guy's already got a horse! He'd probably leave ours alone. But as it is..."

"Freddy," Daphne sighed, "It sounds like you got your wish."

"And how!" Freddy cheered. "Sir, what can you tell us about the monster?"

"Well, it first showed up, oh, I guess about three months ago. Though, you understand, Penny and me didn't see it 'til yesterday. Just heard all the rumors we didn't believe 'til we saw for ourselves. Anyways, it's this big, huge head-thing that runs around on legs no bigger than a normal person. Got normal sized arms too, stick right outta the head just below the ears."

"Wow! I can't wait to get a look at this thing!" Freddy enthused.

"That makes one of us." Daphne said. To Gunther she asked "You say it's after your horses?"

"Everybody's horses." Gunther nodded. "It riles them up, chases them out of their stables, follows 'em clear across country miles from town before it gives up."

"And what happens when it catches one?"

Gunther frowned. "Don't rightly know. Never heard of 'em actually catchin' one. Seems to just wanna chase 'em away."

"That's gotta be our first clue." Daphne said.

"Right." Freddy agreed, "Why would it just want the horses out of town?"

"Let's find the others and start investigating...."

XXXXX

Shaggy knocked on the next door. After the run-in with the horse-despising woman, they had visited four more homes without any troubles. So, it was inevitable that they were due. And sure enough, as soon as the homeowner opened the door his eyes went wide, he screamed at the top of his lungs, and he slammed the door shut hard.

"What is it with some people in this town?" Apple Bloom wondered.

"Like I'm sure I don't know." Shaggy said.

"It's weird though. Our costumes aren't that scary." Scootaloo mused.

"Um... You guys...?" Sweetie Belle said. She was looking behind the group. "I think I know why that man was screaming. And I don't think it was our costumes."

"Well what was it then?" Scootaloo asked.

"That!" Sweetie answered, pointing and screaming. The group turned, and there before them stood a giant head.

"Yoooowl!!!" Scooby yelled, leaping into Shaggy's arms as Shaggy exclaimed "Zoinks! It's a... an... um..." He cocked his head in confusion. "Like what is it anyway?"

"I am the Horseless Headman..." The monster growled.

"Like I thought big head mode was just for video games!" Shaggy said.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me." Velma sighed.

"The Horseless Headman does not joke..." The monster looked down at the fillies. "Horses..."

"Ponies!" Sweetie Belle replied.

"Horses..."

"Ponies!"

"Horses..." The Headman began to move towards them. "Must... Have... Horses..."

"Ponies!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed again, exasperated.

"Ah don't think he cares about the difference Sweetie Belle!" Apple Bloom shouted.

"It's coming right for us!" Scootaloo said, "Hoof it!"

And so the chase was on. The gang was fast, of course, but for a giant head the monster was also surprisingly swift. It managed to stay on their heels up and down two city blocks. As they ran, the residential streets began to give way to businesses, self storage facilities, and schools. "Like I got an idea!" Shaggy exclaimed. "In here!" He ducked into an empty school building and the others followed.

They found themselves in the school's auditorium. "What's the plan Shaggy?" Scootaloo asked.

"Like okay, we've got about twenty seconds to get ready. Here's what we need to do..."

When the Headman stepped into the room, matching Shaggy's estimate to the letter twenty seconds later, it didn't find what it expected. Instead of being deserted, the auditorium appeared to be filled with reporters (Velma, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and countless cardboard cutouts) receiving a press conference from Sheriff Shaggy and Deputies Scooby and Scootaloo.

"What can y'all tell us about this Headman?" reporter Apple Bloom asked.

"Like his head is really, really big. Next question... You miss?"

"Why does the Headman want ponies?" reporter Velma asked.

"Who doesn't like ponies?" Deputy Scootaloo answered. "Aside from one batty old crab..." She added under her breath. "Next question..." The Headman began to moan as it moved towards the front of the room. "Ahh! Yes sir, you with the head..."

The Headman continued forward, moaning ever louder. "Rlease state it the form of a question rir." deputy Scooby said. The monster didn't respond, just kept coming.

"I don't think he's buying it Shaggy!" Velma shouted.

"Right!" Scootaloo agreed. "Sweetie! 'Bloom! Now!" On either side of the main aisle, the fillies grabbed ropes in their teeth and pulled hard, triggering the deadfall trap rigged above. (How did Shaggy set this up in twenty seconds? It's best to not ask.) The trap, comprised of tools, boards, and anything else big and heavy Shaggy could find dropped down onto the monster, burying it.

"We rot him!" Scooby cheered.

"Cool! Won't Freddy be upset when he finds out we trapped a monster without him?" Scootaloo agreed. And then the Headman broke free, casting aside the debris and rising to it's feet.

"Zoinks!"

"It's got the strength of a hundred heads!" Sweetie Belle said in awe.

"What it's got..." Velma said, "Is a headache *this* big... And we're written all over it! Run!"

The gang ran. The Headman followed. And what no one quite realized in the confusion was that they had ran in different directions. Velma, followed by Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, had taken the east doors from the auditorium, which quickly led them back outside. While Shaggy led Scooby and Scootaloo out the west doors, deeper into the sprawling high school...

XXXXX

"Wait up girls!" Velma called out, "I think we lost him."

"Thank goodness..." Sweetie Belle said, plopping down to catch her breath.

"Question is though, did we lose him or did he go after the others?" Velma wondered. "Oh well, either way I guess we've got a mystery on our hands and hooves... Sorry about your trick or treating."

"Aw, ah bet we'll wrap this up with plenty of time left for more." Apple Bloom said.

Sweetie Belle said "Oh I hope so! But... What was that thing?"

"Eeyup. I mean, 'Horseless Headman?' Don't make no sense... Unless it's a joke about the Headless Horse."

"Headless Horse? Odd... Here on Earth, the old story is the Headless Horseman, a rider in black that got decapitated and now roams the world with a jack o lantern on his shoulders, searching for a new head that looks like his old one."

"That is just like the Headless Horse." Apple Bloom said.

"Weird... But in any case, the Headless Horseman has a horse and hunts for a head. Apparently this guy has... is... a head, and hunts for horses." Velma facepalmed. "Is it me, or are these monsters getting weirder and weirder?"

"It's not you." Apple Bloom said. "So, we look for clues now right?"

"Right... But really, I'm not sure where to even start."

"What about that place?" Sweetie Belle asked, pointing across the street to an old abandoned industrial park.

"Why there?"

Sweetie shrugged. "I'm starting to figure out how these things work."

"I got nothing better." Velma shrugged as well, and they started looking for a way through the security fence.

Getting through the fence didn't take long; Less than fifty feet from where they started, there was a large section of the chain link hanging loose. The ponies started through, but Velma drew their attention to something. "Take a look at this girls... This isn't just age damage. Someone has cut the fence links in a straight line up and down..."

"Why just cut the one line though?" Sweetie Belle asked. "Why not cut around and make a full circle?"

"Too obvious." Velma replied.

Apple Bloom stomped a forehoof. "Ah get it! Leave it this way, you can still come an' go by pushin' it outta the way, but if someone comes along they might not even notice!"

"Exactly." Velma gazed through the fence at the structures beyond. "And now I'm really interested to see what's in here..."

Passing through the cut in the fence, they began to explore. It quickly became obvious that most of the buildings in the park were just as abandoned as they appeared: There was no power. Everywhere they found empty chambers, rusting machinery, and a layer of dust several inches deep. At first, there was no indication that the dust had ever been disturbed. No one had set foot in these places for decades.

But then, in one of the larger buildings, they came across of trail of boot prints in the dust. "This looks pretty new." Apple Bloom said.

Velma agreed. "You're right. Let's follow." They did so, but once the trail led outside, where winds and rain had prevented the dust from accumulating, they lost the trail in a hurry. But then...

"You hear that?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Some kinda humming sound." Apple Bloom agreed. "Like machinery runnin.'"

"This way!" Sweetie Belle said, and galloped ahead.

The structure which the sound led the trio to looked identical to all the others on the outside. Large, covered in rusting steel sheets, with busted out windows in a row near the top. Nevertheless, they knew they had the right place as soon as they saw the door. Or, rather, the glowing green indicator light next to the door. "Power." Velma said. "Something's up in there."

"Let's check it out." Apple Bloom said. She started to creep forward, but Velma stopped her.

"Wait. That light probably means a security system. We need another way in..." Velma looked around. Her eyes settled on the next building over. "Come on, I've got an idea if we're lucky."

They slipped into the next building, and climbed the rickety stairs to it's highest level. Here they found open windows facing the windows of their target building next door. They searched until Apple Bloom found what was needed; a long thick plank of sturdy oak wood, which they extended out their window and secured on the sill of the window opposite. Then they scrambled across.

In spite of the fact that it clearly had power, as evidenced by the security light by the door and the now unmistakable hum of running machines inside, the building appeared to be dark. Until Sweetie Belle reached through the busted out window and pushed aside a heavy blackout curtain, revealing that the interior was in fact very brightly lit by strips of florescent panels along the roof.

"Shhh...." Velma whispered, and led the way slowly in through the window, and along the high catwalk to the stairs going down. From here they could see that the whole interior was one vast room. Along one wall there was a workbench covered in tools and spare parts. Along the opposite wall were large glass tanks filled to varying levels with some mysterious blue liquid. And in the center was an enormous drill, working away drilling slowly but surely deeper into the earth. No one was in sight.

"Drilling... For oil?" Apple Bloom wondered.

"Whatever that stuff is, it isn't oil." Velma said. "Let's check it out."

They descended to the floor and examined the drill, but there was no indication on it to point them to any conclusions. Velma and Apple Bloom approached the workbench and started going through it's contents. "All I'm seeing is things that would be needed to repair the drill." Velma said.

"Same ah think," Apple Bloom answered, "Except for these glass jars an' lids." She pointed to a large collection of Mason Jars in a corner of the bench."

"I'll bet those are used to sample the liquid. Maybe transfer small amounts to be tested." Velma shook her head. "Keep looking. There's gotta be some kind of clue here somewhere." Apple Bloom nodded, and they continued to search.

Meanwhile, Sweetie Belle had decided to take a closer look at the glass tanks. They were numbered from one to five, and stretched the length of the wall they were on. At the bottom were spigots threaded for large hoses, which were stored nearby. "So they're loading it in trucks or something..." She thought. "But what is it?"

Sweetie decided she needed a closer look. Using her magic, she managed to turn the know above one of the spigots just enough for a tiny amount, perhaps a quarter of an ounce, to pour onto the floor. She stepped closer to examine it. The fluid was different from anything the unicorn had seen before. Dark blue, more viscose than water but not as thick as, say, pancake syrup, it didn't actually glow but there was an unmistakable opalescence to it...

The next thing Sweetie Belle knew, she was coming to outside the building, with a concerned looking Velma and a sickly looking Apple Bloom standing over her. "W... What happened?" She asked.

Velma explained "We heard a thud and looked to see you passed out next to our mystery liquid. Then when Apple Bloom got close to it she got weak legged too. So we got outside in the clear air as quick as we could. How do you feel?"

"Woozy... But getting better. How about you Apple Bloom?"

"Ah think I'll be okay. I wasn't close to it as long as you were."

"Velma?" Sweetie asked.

Velma shrugged. "I'm fine. I guess it either doesn't affect humans, or affects us much more slowly."

Apple Bloom said "Is this a clue Velma? Ah mean that the Head-guy wants us for some reason, and this stuff seems t' hurt us?"

"It sure is." Velma nodded. "Okay you two, wait here for a second."

"Huh? Wait?"

"You two don't dare go back inside. And in any case we came out through the alarmed door, meaning that I expect Mister Big-Head to show up any time now... But I'm not leaving without a sample." Velma rushed back into the building. Her thoughts were simple. The ponies hadn't been affected by the fluid until Sweetie Belle let some out of the tanks. Thus, it must be safe for them if contained. She grabbed one of the Mason jars Apple Bloom had noticed earlier, filled it, capped it, and ran back outside where she found Sweetie Belle back on her hooves and both Crusaders looking much better than they had moments earlier.

"I think I'm okay now." Sweetie Belle said.

"Good, then let's move." Velma answered. Even as she spoke, they all heard the moans of the approaching Headman. Not wasting a moment, they ran, getting away before he came into view...

XXXXX

Meanwhile, Shaggy, Scooby, and Scootaloo had been running through the interior of the High School, fleeing the Headman who was close on their tails. "This place is so big!" Scootaloo exclaimed. "Back home, we just had one classroom for everypony!"

"Schools here used to be that way too. There's just too many kids nowadays." Shaggy said.

"Too many horses!" The Headman behind them said.

"For the last time we're ponies!" Scootaloo shouted at him.

"Rapple Bloom was right Rootaroo!" Scooby said, "Re doesn't care."

"I guess so! So what do we do!?"

"Just keep running!" Shaggy said, "Something'll come up!"

And so it did. As the trio fled, down the length of one long hall, right around the corner into another, shorter hall, left into what they expected to be another hall... But was actually a dead-end next to the school cafeteria, with a trash slot in the wall directly in their path. Man, Pony, and Dog fell through the slot and slid down the chute to the basement. The Headman got stuck in the chute entrance, cursing to itself as it struggled to get free. Scootaloo looked back up the chute and chuckled at the sight of the monster's head wedged half-in half-out of the slot.

"Like check it out!" Shaggy said as he looked around once he were free of the trash bin. "Mother lode!"

"Mother lode of clues!?" Scootaloo asked, joining him.

"Even better! Mother lode of food! We're in the cafeteria storeroom!" Shaggy and Scooby's eyes were wide with delight.

"You guys? Big monster head thing chasing us? He's gonna get free and come down here..."

"Like don't worry Scoots, we know. But I think he got wedged pretty tight. We've got time."

"Yeah! Rime to eat!"

"Right you are ol' buddy ol' pal! So let's get fixin'!"

Scootaloo could only shake her head as Shaggy and Scooby began gathering ingredients and stacking up enormous Dagwood sandwiches. They included a third for her. "Well... I am hungry..." The filly chuckled. "But can we eat on the run?" She asked, balancing her sandwich on her back between her wings.

"Rood idea!" Scooby agreed. "Rootaroo's right about the Readman coming for us Rhaggy!"

"Like yeah, let's go."

Ten minutes later, sandwiches finished, they were still lost in the twisting halls of the school basement. They came to a new hallway with a sign over the double doors: 'Shop Hall.'

"Shop?" Scootaloo asked.

"Yeah, it's like car repair and metal-working, woodworking, machining, drafting, all that kinda stuff."

"Cool. Like the human version of Cloud-crafting for Pegasai."

"I guess so. But, you know what I like here?" Shaggy asked, "Look down to the end of the hall! It's an exit sign! There must be stairs!"

"Awesome! Let's get out of here!" Scootaloo agreed.

Halfway down the hall, Scooby suddenly stopped and stared into one of the rooms. "Scooby?" Scootaloo asked.

"Rue! Rue!" The dog exclaimed, and bounded in. Shaggy and Scootaloo looked at each other, shrugged, and followed.

"Like okay Scoob, what's you clue?"

"Rhis!" Scooby pointed to the oddest contraption any of the three had seen in some time. There was a seat in the middle, like a bucket seat from a car. A steel framework was attached to the seat back. At the bottom, it was also attached to what looked like bicycle pedals, but the chain running from the pedals led not to wheels but instead to a very complicated series of moving parts that resembled legs. To either side of the seat was another assemblage of pedals and waldos that controlled a set of mechanical arms.

"Some kind of mecha-suit?" Scootaloo wondered.

"Like let's try it out." Shaggy said. He climbed into the seat, locked the seat belt, and started carefully experimenting with the controls. He found that he was indeed able to walk on the suit's legs and control the arms with amazing precision. Of course, it was just then that the Headman arrived, slamming in through the classroom door, moaning. "Zoinks! He's found us!" Scooby, Scootaloo, climb on and hold on tight!"

Shaggy ran, piloting the mech suit, with his passengers clinging for dear life. The Headman gave chase. They found the stairs at the end of the hall and climbed, relieved to locate exit doors at the very top. They burst out into the night, but the Headman was right there. It grabbed an arm of the mech suit, spinning it around, and Shaggy began using the suit to fight the Headman.

"Coooooool!" Scootaloo cheered, "Horseless Headman versus Mecha-Horseless Headman!"

"Like yeah I'd be in awe if I wasn't terrified!" Shaggy answered.

"Yeah! Rerrified!"

The battle continued for several minutes, neither combatant able to get any advantage over the other. Shaggy had begun to despair of ever getting out of this one. But it was just then that, a couple of blocks away, Velma had opened the security door to get Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle out into fresh air, away from the mystery liquid. A loud alarm begun to sound from a watch on the Headman's right arm. The response was immediate: The monster stopped fighting, stepped back. Glared at Scootaloo. "Horse. Leave. Or I come back for you..." It laughed maniacally, then turned and ran away.

While Shaggy slumped in his seat, Scootaloo wondered "What was that about?"

"Like I have no idea... I'm just glad it happened." Shaggy unstrapped himself and climbed free of the mech suit. "Now come on you two... Let's go find the others, and I mean quick! 'Cause I've got a bad feeling we've not seen the last of him!"

XXXXX

Fred and Daphne had finished questioning Gunther and Penny and were on their way to find the others when Fred was tackled by Scooby who grabbed ahold of the back of his head, leaned in close to his face, and exclaimed "Rig head! Rig head!"

"You've seen the Horseless Headman!?" Daphne asked.

"Like seen, run from, fought, you name it!" Shaggy said. He frowned. "Wait a minute! How have you heard of him? Freddy... Please tell me this isn't another one of your 'know about the monster in advance and not tell me' tricks!"

"We heard from some locals Shaggy. I swear I'm innocent this time!" Freddy said, waving his hands in a placating manner.

"Alright, I think I believe you."

"But at least we found a clue!" Scootaloo said. "And I think I might know who it is!" She told Fred and Daphne about the horse-hating woman, and how she had, like the Headman, insisted on calling the ponies horses.

"That does sound suspicious..." Freddy said. "As does the mecha suit you guys found at the school."

"But where are Velma and the other Crusaders?" Daphne wondered.

"Right here!" Velma called out as she approached with the other two ponies.

Velma showed everyone the Mason Jar of fluid and everyone shared the clues they had found with each other.

"We've got a lot of clues." Freddy said, "But I still think we're missing something... One last piece of the puzzle to link everything together."

Velma said "I agree. That's why I was planning to take Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle to the local horse doctor. Maybe he'll be able to tell us something about this stuff and why it affected them the way it did."

"That sounds like a plan." Freddy agreed. "Let's go!"

XXXXX

A short time later, they found the doctor. Henry Trable, D.V.M., was an aging man with deep jowls and thinning grey hair, but a sprightly spring to his step and a genuine love for his work. Delighted to have the opportunity to examine such unusual patients, he had quickly ushered the entire gang into his office. Once there, he examined Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle closely, eventually popping a sucker in each of their mouths and declaring that they both seemed fit.

"But that stuff knocked me out!" Sweetie Belle said.

"An' danged near took me off mah hooves too!" Apple Bloom agreed.

"Hmmm...." Trable mused. He turned to Velma. "You say you have a sample?"

"Right here sir." Velma replied, producing the jar.

The doctor's response was immediate. "It can't be!" He grabbed the jar. "Come with me to the lab miss! We need to run some tests, but if this is what I think it is..."

Velma went with Henry while the rest of the gang waited. In less than half an hour, they returned.

"Ceruleum." Henry said. "A rare substance, liquid at room temperature, with a wide variety of industrial applications. And totally harmless to humans but toxic as anything to all equines."

"Poison!?" Scootaloo gasped. " It's like... Pony Kryptonite! Will Sweetie and 'Bloom be okay!?"

"Oh yes, neither of your friends was exposed long enough for any permanent issues." Henry reassured her.

"But like, I'm still confused." Shaggy said. "If this Ceruleum stuff is so bad for horses, how have there been so many of them around here for so long without any problems?"

Velma explained "Because the deposit is deep Shaggy. Further down than the local aquifers even. No one knew it was there until now, except for the Headman."

"But everything adds up now." Daphne said. "We still don't know who the Horseless Headman is, but we do know why whoever it is, is doing it. So all we need now..."

"Is a trap!" Everyone concluded together...

XXXXX

The Horseless Headman moved cautiously through the deserted streets of town. He knew that someone was investigating his scheme. He also knew that bizarre alien equines were in town. Most likely, the two were related. Still, all he really wanted was for them to leave, and in spite of being aliens the creatures had certainly seemed afraid of him. One more good scare should do the trick. Assuming he could find them. Hope sprung in his heart that maybe they had already left. But then his attention was drawn to something that didn't belong. Above the door of a long abandoned building was a sign:

Doctor Norville Rogers, D.Q.
Phrenology
*Giant Heads Welcome*

Moaning, the Headman slammed the door down and burst in. A dog in drag was seated behind a desk with a 'receptionist' sign. "Oh my!" It said, "Rhis looks like an emergency! Roctor Rogers!" A young man in a white lab coat emerged from the back room and together with the dog pushed the moaning Headman into said room and shoved him into an oversized seat.

"Now then, let's have a look at you..." The doctor said. He produced a set of large calipers and began measuring the Headman's, well, head. "Oh, look at this! The ratio of your skull front to back and side to side is all wrong! It indicates a sociopathic personality! And here! These large bumps on the top of you head are plainly the result of nearly being crushed in a failed trap..."

"Huuurgh.... Do not mock the Headman..."

"Mockery is the last thing on my mind sir! As you read on the sign out front I'm a licensed Doctor of Quackery! Now then, as I continue to examine your skull, I can't help but notice that it is in fact quite large... Are you by chance a giant head monster sir?"

"I am the Horseless Headman... I must have horses!"

"Of course you must sir." The doctor said. "And in fact it's your lucky day! Girls?"

With a shout of "Get 'em!" The trio of alien equines appeared from behind a curtain, jumping right at the Headman. He let out a scream, which was drowned out by the equine's shout of "Cutie Mark Crusaders! Boom! Headshot! Yaaay!!!"

Before the Headman knew what was happening, the trio had somehow managed to tar and feather him. They jumped away as he tore loose of the chair the doctor had forced him into and roared. "Like that's it girls!" The doctor screamed, "He's really torqued at us now! Run for it!!" Doctor, Dog, and Aliens fled, and the Headman followed...

XXXXX

It was, all in all, a typical Freddy trap. Shaggy, Scooby, and the Crusaders would get the monster all riled up, so angry it would blindly chase them wherever they led it. 'Where they led it' would be the High School gymnasium, where Velma and Daphne would be waiting. As soon as Shaggy and the others were clear, the girls would raise the gym's volleyball net, entangling and trapping the Headman. This was only the first phase though. Given how easily the monster had escaped Shaggy's deadfall trap it was certain the net wouldn't hold it for long. Luckily, it wouldn't have to if all went according to plan...

After getting the Headman's attention in the phony doctor's office, the bait team made a beeline straight for the school. They entered through a set of doors near the cafeteria, and wound their way through several hallways before reaching the gym. They piled through the door, shouting warnings that the monster was coming, and continued to run, past the centerline, over the waiting volleyball net. Surprisingly, no, none of them got tripped up in the netting. The Headman was close behind, and Daphne and Velma raised up the net. The Headman slammed into it, got tangled, but just kept going. He didn't even slow down as he dragged the net along with him, Daphne and Velma along for the ride.

"Oh no! It's not working!" Freddy exclaimed.

At a certain point, the net was stretched too taught. With a snapping noise, it flipped forward, with the result that Daphne and Velma were now in front of the Headman. It approached them, moaning. "You should have left when I gave you the chance..." The monster said, and was about to attack when everyone heard sounds like bicycle pedals being pumped hard, and there was Shaggy, seated in the mecha suit again.

"Get away from them you... ...Head!"

The monster turned to face Shaggy. "You seek another dance with the Headman?"

"Like not so much. Freddy? Now would be a good time!"

From his perch atop the bleachers, Freddy swung in on the gym's climbing rope. He used a large carabiner to clip the rope securely to the monster's back, then jumped free as Scootaloo triggered the mechanism to retract the rope up towards the roof. The Headman flailed about, but was unable to free itself as it swung in an arc around the room...

XXXXX

A short time and one call to the local police later. At Daphne's request, the deputies had bought Doctor Trable, as well as Gunther, Penny, and...

"Huh!?" Scootaloo exclaimed, looking back and forth between the still-swinging Headman and the equinophobic woman from earlier in the night. "But... But I was sure she had to be the Headman!"

"Heck I coulda told you better than that." Gunther said. "Mrs. Sue Richmont here, she's been a town fixture her whole life. Can't figure she'd ever do anything to hurt any of us."

"But she hates ponies an' horses!" Apple Bloom said.

The hard expression on Sue's face softened, even so slightly. "I... I don't hate you child... I'm afraid of you."

"Huh!?" The three fillies chorused.

Sue explained, "My family founded this town. On raising, racing, and selling horses. I loved them when I was a girl. Still do at a distance... But, when I was, oh, about the age I expect you three are... Well, there was an accident. A stampede. I got out of the way. My best friend didn't. And ever since..."

The Crusaders exchanged uncomfortable looks. "Um... We're sorry... For your friend. And for thinking the worst of you." Sweetie Belle whispered.

Nodding, Sue looked up at the Headman. "Now then, can someone please tell me what this ridiculous... thing... is and why it's been terrorizing our town?"

"I'm wondering the same thing." The deputy said. "You've caught him and that's great, but what was it all about in the first place?"

"This." Velma said, holding up the jar of Ceruleum. "Ceruleum is very rare, and worth nearly half it's weight in gold. There wasn't supposed to be any around here, but our Headman discovered a deposit deep, deep below ground and decided to keep it to himself."

"Which like makes sense, because he'd make a lot more money selling it under the table and ignoring all the pricey E.P.A. regulations for mining it." Shaggy said.

Daphne said, "But he had a problem: Ceruleum is extremely dangerous to horses."

"Like 'Bloom and me found out the hard way." Sweetie Belle said.

"Pony Ryptonite." Scooby quoted Scootaloo.

Doctor Trable explained "It takes time to cause permanent harm, but just one spill of the stuff and the jig would have been up: Horses all around would have started getting sick."

Gunther asked "So, he started chasing all the horses away to make sure they wouldn't accidentally give him away?"

"Exactly!" Freddy said. "That explains why you never heard of the Headman catching any horses. In spite of all his talk about wanting them, all he really wanted was them gone."

Scootaloo pointed to the mech suit. "That's another clue. Betcha anything the guy inside is controlling the headman with another one of those."

"Well this explains everything then..." Penny said, "Except for who it is."

Daphne and Velma began lowering the rope, until the Headman was just above the floor. "Right." Freddy said. "Let's see who the Horseless Headman really is!" Working together, Freddy, Shaggy, and Scooby each grabbed ahold of hidden fingerholds in the Headman, disengaged the locks, and removed the monster's face. Inside, seated in a copy of the mech suit Scooby had found, was...

"Hay! You're that guy!" Apple Bloom exclaimed.

"Yeah! The guy we met trick or treating that told us to get out of town!" Scootaloo agreed.

"It's Robert Nash..." The Deputy said, "He teaches Geology and Metal Shop here."

"Which explains both how he knew enough to learn about the Ceruleum," Velma mused, "And where the Headman suit came from. He must've had his shop students build it for him."

"And I would've gotten away with it!" Nash spat, "If it weren't for you meddling kids, and your dog and pony show!"

"Rog and pony show? Re hee hee hee hee hee...."

"Oh!" Sweetie Belle suddenly exclaimed, "What time is it?"

"Seven thirty!" Shaggy said, "Still plenty of time for trick or treating left! Scooby, girls, let's get to it!"

"Yay!"

U.F.Oh-No!!!!

Dame Margorette Duvalle was, in all ways, typical of the second-generation uber-rich. Which is to say she was flighty, ditzy, totally disconnected from the reality of life for the rest of the world, and fixated on the occult. In her case, this fixation focused on the specific topic of ufology; the study of flying saucers and little green men. Unlike most of her contemporaries, however, Duvalle was determined to go beyond the mere study of the subject. She was going to do something about it...

"Madam I really must protest..." Duvalle's butler, Niles, said as he helped her into her antique mink coat, "This party can only end with you seen as a laughing stock."

"Nonsense Niles." Duvalle replied. "The company needs money. And while I will of course provide for any shortfall from my own pockets, everyone knows you seek out investors for any new endeavor."

"But those are exactly my points madam. I'm worried that you are throwing your fortune into the proverbial rat's hole... This company is a scam! I'm certain of it ma'am!" NIles said.

Duvalle looked over her shoulder and smiled at the butler. "Just like you are so certain that aliens and flying saucers don't really exist? Oh don't worry Niles! You've been with me since I was a child and I'm not going to dismiss you simply for disagreeing with me... I know you mean well darling. But it's my money and I'll spend it as I see fit."

"Of course madam." Niles answered, as he finished adjusting the coat. "Well, I do believe you are ready."

"Quite. Come along then, let's meet with our future investors shall we?"

XXXXX

The investment party started just before sunset and lasted several hours. Duvalle mingled, regaling her guests with tales of U.F.O. sightings and abduction accounts, while plying for cash. She seemed blissfully unaware that the majority of those present were chuckling and shaking their heads behind her back. And whenever she was out of earshot, openly mocking the product prototype displayed at the center of the ballroom as well. For his part, Niles could only sigh and mentally prepare to update his resume.

It happened around ten o' clock. The ballroom featured a full wall of floor to ceiling windows facing to the east, and a stir went through the assembled crowd as they began to notice an exceptionally bright green light moving through the night sky, drawing slowly closer. "Oh my..." Duvalle whispered. "Niles! The binoculars!"

The butler rushed to retrieve the field glasses, though by the time he had done so the point of light had gotten close enough to resolve itself into a glowing disk. Duvalle took the glasses and looked for but a moment, then giddy with excitement announced "It's a saucer! Oh this is wonderful!" She strode to the center table and retrieved the product she was wanting people to support. It was a small aerosol can. "Now, watch closely ladies and gentlemen, as I demonstrate the efficacy of this wonderful new discovery!"

To the surprise of most of those present, Duvalle then boldly walked out the door and stood directly under the hovering disk. Looking up, she said "Shoo! Shoo!" and then sprayed the bottle up onto the flying saucer's underside. To the surprise of no one but Duvalle, nothing happened.

"What!?" She exclaimed. "Oh silly me, I forgot to shake it first!" She vigorously shook the bottle and sprayed again, with the same results. "It doesn't work? But why... Oh no!" The heiress screamed as a bright green beam shone down from the saucer and began to lift her upwards.

"I'll save you madam!" Niles exclaimed, as he ran out the door and grabbed his boss by her feet, pulling her back down to the ground. Just then,the green beam stopped, and in it's place a pair of aliens jumped down to the ground and began to approach the pair. Duvalle and Niles ran back into the mansion, slamming the door behind them. The aliens began to beat on the glass panes, and when the first cracks appeared everyone panicked and ran in terror...

XXXXX

Roswell, New Mexico, a mile west of Madam Duvalle's mansion. On the outskirts of town was a small pizza parlor, appropriately named 'Aliens 'n Anchovies.' Mystery Machine was parked in front, with the gang clearly visible in a booth by the front windows.

"So what's the deal with this town again?" Sweetie Belle asked as she magicked a slice of pizza onto her plate.

"Back in the nineteen forties," Velma explained, "There was a claim that an alien spaceship crashed here. As such, the town has become a sort of tourist trap for people who believe in little green men."

"Way y'all say 'claim' Ah'm guessin' you don't buy it?" Apple Bloom said.

Velma shook her head. " I never did before. But since we've met the three of you, I'm trying to be a little more open minded."

"Like yeah!" Shaggy agreed. "And since even if it is true the army hauled all the crash debris away decades ago, we shouldn't run into any alien monsters either!" His eyes went wide as the waiter arrived with his order, a ten layer extra-giant deep dish pie with the works.

"Careful Shaggy..." Scootaloo warned. "You know saying stuff like that is just asking for it."

"Reah!" Scooby agreed, punching Shaggy in the shoulder, "Take it back!"

"Like okay... After I eat..." Shaggy began to cut a slice of his order when the front doors slammed open and a fearful crowd rushed inside. They were shouting and screaming, and the last of them in slammed the door shut and stood with his back to it, which was kind of dumb considering it was a glass door.

"Now what's going on here!?" The pizzaria's manager demanded. "You can't just come barging in like a... ...Miss Duvalle!?"

"We need shelter!" Duvalle exclaimed. "It's after us!"

Freddy stood and asked "Begging your pardon ma'am, but... what's after you?"

"That!" Several members of the crowd answered, and pointed out the front windows. At first the gang saw nothing. Then a luminous flying disk hovered into view from behind the row of shops across the street.

"Zoinks! It's a flying saucer!"

"Coooooooool!!!" The Crusaders chorused, looking up in wide-eyed awe.

"Oh the aliens must have gotten wind of what we were doing!" Duvalle moaned. "Whatever shall we do now!?"

"Fear not madam... If these are intelligent beings, as they must be to create such a craft, then surely they can be reasoned with..." Niles said. He brushed aside the man blocking the door and stepped outside, looking up at the saucer.

"Boy howdy! Not too smart but he sure is brave!" Apple Bloom said.

"Reah!" Scooby agreed.

Outside, Niles suddenly screamed as a beam of green light shone down and he was drawn up into the waiting craft, which then slowly drifted away over the top of the pizzaria, a buzzing sound accompanying it's passage. Duvalle fainted at the loss of her butler, while the rest of the crowd fled in the opposite direction to where the saucer had gone...

XXXXX

It took twenty minutes for Fred and Daphne to bring the heiress around. Afterward, sitting in a booth nursing a cup of coffee, she explained to them what had happened. As Duvalle reached the end of her story, Velma had just one question: "So, what exactly is this product you were trying to raise funds for?"

"I'm not sure what difference it makes." Duvalle said, "It didn't work."

Scootaloo said "But it could still be a clue."

"Well, yes, I suppose it could... Might any of you have a laptop handy?" Duvalle asked. Velma nodded and retrieved hers from the van. Duvalle then typed in a web address and clicked through a series of links. "Here we are. This is their infomercial, it explains everything..." The gang leaned in to watch as the video started:

On the screen was a still image of a green lawn with a large, perfectly circular spot in which all of the grass
had turned brown and died. A voice over announcer spoke: "Oh no! Unsightly crop circles ruining your
perfectly manicured lawn?" The image changed to a small 12oz. aerosol bottle as the announcer continued,
"Fight Back! With 'U.F.O.B-Gone,' the world's first and only flying-saucer repellent spray!"

The still images were replaced by video of an ancient man who looked and talked like a grizzled 1860's
gold prospector. Captions at the bottom of the screen read 'Customer Testimonial' and 'Old Macdonald.'
"Derned sky-critters!" Macdonald complained, "Tearin' up mah corn fields 't make they circles! Cost me so
much money in lost crops, Ah thought ah was gon' lose the farm!" He held up a bottle and smiled. "Then, a
friend tol' me about U.F.O.B'gone! One quick squirt, an' the buggers runned like the French! U.F.O.B'Gone
saved mah farm! Thank you, U.F.O.B'Gone!"

A series of still images of claimed 'U.F.O.' pictures began playing across the screen as the announcer came
back. "U.F.O.B-Gone is effective on saucers of all shapes, sizes, and colors, and is guaranteed to work -Or
your money back!- No matter what planet they came here from." The saucer pictures were replaced by a
stock drawing of a molecule. "The secret is U.F.O.B-Gone's patented proprietary blend of all-natural, gluten
free, homeopathic, titanium ceramic composite-carbon fiber nanotechnology polymers, which gently
irritate saucer's tender underbelly, positively driving them away without causing any permanent harm that
might precipitate an interstellar war. And, since U.F.O.B-Gone works on all types of saucers, it's not just
for getting rid of crop circles! It also puts an end to annoying abductions and painful probings!"

The ad transitioned to another 'customer testimonial,' this one featuring an extreme valley-girl airhead
stereotype identified as 'Peaceout Moonbeam.' "So, like, Ohh... Emm... Gee...! Like, all I wanted was to
hang out on the beach tanning and surfing, right? But these little grey guys just would NOT leave me alone!
Every night with the needles and the probes! It was, like, totally harshing my chakras right? So then one
day I'm using, like, a ouija board? And I ask it how to get rid of them? And, like, it says 'U-F-O-B-G-O-N-E.'
And then I'm all like 'No way!' And the board is all like, 'Y-E-S-W-A-Y.' So, like, I tried it and stuff, and, like,
Ohh... Emm... Gee...! It totally worked!"

From there the infomercial descended into the typical pattern of offering ever larger quantities for ever lower prices to those who ordered quickly. "Only available through this special T.V. offer, you get twenty-eight ounces of U.F.O.B-Gone, enough to repel an entire invasion fleet, for just $9.99!" And, "Order in the next ten minutes and we'll throw in, at no extra charge, a three-pack of 'Exor-Bomb,' the holy water powered exorcising fog bomb guaranteed to cleanse even the most severely haunted house in a single application!" Finally, it concluded with all the typical legal boilerplate: Restrictions, exclusions, exceptions, warnings, ("Do not use U.F.O.B-Gone in the presence of liquid water and never feed it after midnight.") and at last it was over.

All the members of Mystery Inc. looked at each other in disbelief. Save for Shaggy who said, "Like, gang, we're investing in this."

"Oh Shaggy it's obviously a scam!" Velma disagreed.

"Like yeah I know. A guy can dream." Shaggy sighed.

Freddy looked to the heiress. "Don't worry ma'am. My friends and I solve mysteries like this for a living. We'll get to the bottom of whatever's really going on here."

"I thank you... But are you certain it's a scam? I mean, you have aliens right here with you!" Duvalle motioned to the Crusaders.

"Actually, we're more extra-dimensio-whatsis than extraterrestrial." Apple Bloom said.

"Right." Velma said. "But yes, in all likelihood, there's some kind of scam going on here. Speaking of which, do you still have the bottle you tried to spray on that saucer?"

Duvalle nodded, handing the bottle over to Velma. "It's still about half full."

Velma took the bottle and looked it over, Sweetie Belle standing on a tabletop to read over her shoulder. "Hay! Look at this!" The unicorn said, "Isn't this address right here in this town?"

"It's manufactured here in Roswell?" Daphne asked.

"It sure is." Velma confirmed...

XXXXX

A few moments later, the whole gang was standing by the back of Mystery Machine. "So what's the plan Freddy?" Daphne asked.

"Hmmm..." Freddy mused. "Apple Bloom, you've got an interest in chemistry right?"

"Ah've made potions an' such back home."

"All right... Three way split." Freddy decided. "'Bloom, you stay here with Velma. The two of you can use the instruments in the back of the van to analyze the contents of that bottle." Apple Bloom saluted. Freddy continued, "Meanwhile, Daphne, Sweetie Belle, and I will go check out the manufacturer. If we're right about this being a scam, there's sure to be some clues there."

Velma said "If you can, try to get another bottle. I'd like to compare, see if this bottle didn't work because it's defective, or if they're all the same."

"Right. While we're doing that, Shaggy, Scooby, and Scoots will go take a look around the Duvalle mansion. See if there's anything that doesn't seem right."

"Like Freddy it's a place that just got attacked by aliens! I'm sure a lot of stuff won't seem right!" Shaggy exclaimed.

"Be that as it may, we've still got to investigate." Velma said.

Shaggy reluctantly nodded. "Yeah, yeah... Come on Scooby, Scootaloo, let's do this..."

XXXXX

Scootaloo trotted alongside Shaggy and Scooby as they crossed the desert on foot, heading to the Duvalle mansion. "So, what'dya think we'll find?" She asked.

"Like I'm tryin' not to think about it."

"Reah!"

"Oh come on you guys, how bad can it be?"

"Look Scoots, you've not seen many Earth movies yet." Shaggy said. "So you don't know the horrors that might be lurking out there... But we do!" He laughed nervously. "Aliens! They vaporize you and possess you and lay their eggs in you! And that's when they don't have cookbooks full of recipes for human tacos and shaggy-kabobs!"

"Rand Scooby Snacks made rith real Scooby!" The dog added.

"But... Aren't those just movies?" Scootaloo asked, eyes wide.

"It's not the kind of thing you take a chance with, is my point." Shaggy answered. He looked up at the three story mansion they now stood before. "Anyway, here we are. Where you think we should start?"

"How about this?" Scootaloo asked, galloping over to a busted out glass door. "This must be the doors the aliens broke in through."

"Like it sure looks that way..." Shaggy agreed. After a slightly too-long pause he sighed and said "Okay. I guess we gotta do this. Slowly... Quietly... Don't do anything that might draw the attention of something horrible..."

One by one, the trio crept into the abandoned ballroom, stepping carefully around shards of broken glass, Shaggy, at least, more worried about the sounds stepping on it might make than the possibility of injury. Or, at least, he was worried about such until he saw what was inside: "Like mother load!" He exclaimed at the sight of all the abandoned food piled high on tables around the perimeter of the chamber.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes as Shaggy and Scooby immediately set to work filling plates. "You guys? Mystery?"

"Like yeah we'll get back to that."

"We can't ret all this food go to waste, Rootaroo." Scooby agreed.

Shaking her head, Scootaloo said "Oh alright then... You guys eat, I'll take a look around the ball room..."

The first thing Scootaloo did was examine the shattered glass where the aliens had broken in. Only a single door panel was broken, the remaining windows and doors undamaged. She noticed writing on the bottom of one pane, and leaned in closer to read it. "Tempered" the writing said, and "Safety Glass" on the line below that.

"Hay Shaggy!" Scootaloo called out, "Isn't tempered glass really hard to break?"

"Like yeah! Ten times tougher than normal glass or something! That's why they use it in car windows!

"Really tough glass... But the aliens were still able to smash it..." Her eyes went wide again. "They must be really strong!" Continuing her search, the filly found two sets of faintly glowing footprints, starting at the window and heading into the ball room until they stopped about halfway to the far wall. "Gotta be alien tracks." She thought. "But why did they stop?" Deciding with a shrug that it was a mystery for later, Scootaloo trotted the rest of the way across the room to the far wall, where a pair of double doors stood open. Dropped plates, glasses, and flatwear littered the floor, clearly indicating that these were the doors the partygoers had fled out when the aliens attacked, but there were no real clues to be found. Scootaloo considered exploring further on her own, but the deep darkness of the hallway and chambers beyond decided her mind against.

Returning to Shaggy and Scooby, Scootaloo's jaw dropped at what she found. Of course, having known and traveled with them for several months the filly was all too aware of the duo's prodigeous appetites. But this was something new altogether: The food was gone. All of it, several hundred pounds worth, was gone. And in it's place, laying sprawled across the empty tables, were man and dog, bellies slightly distended but looking normal otherwise.

"Okay... Seriously... Are you two related to Pinkie Pie!?" She asked, only half joking.

"Like the rich eat soooo much better than the rest of us, eh Scoob?" Shaggy mused.

"Reah!"

"Wait a minute..." Scootaloo slightly cocked her head in confusion, "Shaggy, isn't your family rich?"

"Eh kinda sorta... But there's millionaire rich and billionaire rich, see, and while my folks are the former it's pretty obvious this Duvalle lady is totally the latter."

"So now that there's nothing left, can we please check out the rest of this place together?"

"Sure thing Scoots. Come on Scooby, let's get this over with..."

And so together the three began to explore the mansion. There was an obvious trail left by the fleeing crowd, down one long hallway, hooking a left into another, across the vaulted-ceilinged foyer, and out the front door. Nothing of value in solving the mystery could be found there, so they searched through a second ballroom, a conservatory, an arboretum, three bathrooms larger than most entire homes, a grand dining room, and the kitchen where Scootaloo was forced to physically drag Scooby away from trying to eat even more food. Nothing of interest showed up in any of those places either.

Finally, after perhaps an hour, they were about to give up and start back for town. "I can't believe nothing turned up." Scootaloo complained.

"Like it happens sometimes." Shaggy said. As he spoke he leaned against a wall, and with a sudden sound like 'Clonk' a hidden panel slid open. "Zoinks!" Shaggy yelped as he jumped back in surprise.

"Cooool...! Let's check it out!"

"Ret's not and ray we did." Scooby disagreed.

"Okay I know we gotta look Scoots." Shaggy said, "But don't get your hopes up eh? Lots of richy mansions have hidden passageways so the servants can move about unseen. Like that's probably all there is to this."

Shaggy in the lead, they slipped into the narrow passageway. In one direction, it led to a storage room filled with cooking supplies. There was also an odd-looking tool left sitting on a shelf. "Like check out this crazy hammer!" Shaggy said, picking it up. "You couldn't hammer anything with the ends like this!"

The hammer (For that is what it was basically shaped like) was very small, with a handle only four inches long. It was made of bright neon orange high-impact plastic, and the ends of the head were not flat for hammering but came to sharp metal points.

"Is it a rue?" Scooby asked.

"It's too funky looking not to be." Scootaloo said.

Shaggy nodded his agreement, slipping the item under his belt, then looking all around the room. "Okay, I think that's all there is here. Let's go see where the other end of the passage leads..."

It led, in fact, to the servant's quarters. Four doors, two on each side of the hall, opened into generously proportioned apartments for the head maid, head gardener, chauffeur, and chef. A fifth door at the end gave access to Nile's slightly larger rooms. Sticking close together, knocking at each door first just in case someone was home, they investigated the first four apartments, finding nothing. But when Shaggy knocked on the door of Nile's apartment, someone did answer. Or, rather, something did answer.

"Zoinks!!! It's an alien!!" The beatnik screamed as he stumbled backwards, the hideous creature stepping through the door after him.

"Rhaggy!" Scooby cried out. Shaggy stumbled but jumped back to his feet, and the chase was on. They fled back down the hall, through the kitchen secret door, and across the main foyer hoping to reach the front door. But as they drew near the door another alien appeared from the shadows in between a pair of expensive sculptures, cutting Scootaloo off from Shaggy and Scooby.

"Roh no! Rootaroo!"

"Help!" The filly exclaimed.

Shaggy looked frantically around the foyer, his eyes finally settling on something that might work. "Come on Scoob!" He said, pointing to what he had seen, "Let's do this!" Grabbing a landline phone off of it's stand, they ran right for the alien and ran around and around, quickly wrapping it in the long trailing wires.

"Rhone home! Rhone home!" Scooby snickered as the alien growled and struggled to free itself.

"Like let's get out of here before any more of them show up!" Shaggy said, and there was no disagreement. They reached the front door threw it open with a bang, and rushed out into the night... Just in time to look up and see a saucer floating silently over the mansion's roof.

"Like run!" Shaggy yelled and they did.

But after perhaps thirty seconds Scootaloo glanced back over her shoulder and skidded to a halt at what she saw, or more accurately didn't see. "Guys hold up! It's gone!"

"Like huh!?" Shaggy rapidly turned his head to and fro in all directions, but the saucer was indeed totally gone.

"Rhere'd it go?" Scooby wondered.

"And so fast." Scootaloo agreed.

"Like you know what? I don't care where it went. I'm just glad it's not here. Now let's get our clue back to town eh?"

XXXXX

Meanwhile, Velma and Apple Bloom were conducting their own investigation in the Mystery Machine. "So tell me again how this works?" The filly asked.

"It's pretty simple." Velma answered. "You know how if you shine a beam of white light through a prism the prism breaks it into a rainbow pattern?"

"Oh sure. Miss Cheerilee did that in school one time."

"Okay, now let me show you something else you can do using that..." Velma said. She set up a light and a prism, with the rainbow shining onto a white panel. Then she slid a small slide into the beam of light before it reached the prism. Black lines appeared in the rainbow. "Interesting fact 'Bloom... Any time you put a substance thin enough to be translucent into the white light beam, you'll get these black lines in the rainbow. And the pattern of the lines is unique for every chemical element in the universe. So..."

Catching on, Apple Bloom interrupted "So if we put some of that stuff in the light, you'll be able 't see what it's made out of!"

"Exactly." Velma answered. "So let's see what the active ingredients in 'U.F.O.B-Gone' really are..."

Working together, they prepared a slide with some of the fluid from the bottle, and slid it into the light beam. A pattern of black lines appeared in the rainbow. "So how do we read it?" Apple Bloom asked. "Do y'all have a book on these or something?"

"I do, in point of fact." Velma replied. "But there's a faster and easier way these days. Like anything else, there's an app for this." She produced her cell phone and snapped a picture of the lines. "Just a few seconds and we'll see... ...Huh. Well that can't be right." Velma held the phone where Apple Bloom could read the screen as well.

"This is where we try again 't be sure we didn't mess up right?" Bloom asked after reading the results.

"Correct. Let's prepare another slide."

Before they could begin, the Mystery Machine began to be rocked violently from side to side. Looking up towards the driver's side rear-view mirror, Velma saw an alien standing alongside the van pushing hard. "Jinkies!" We've got company!"

"Over here too!" Apple Bloom exclaimed, pointing to the passenger side mirror where another alien could be seen.

"It's time to roll!" Velma said, jumping into the driver's seat and slamming down hard on the accelerator. The wheels spun for but a moment and they were off. "Did we lose them?"

"Ah don't think so!" Apple Bloom answered as the back doors were pulled open to reveal the aliens clinging to the back bumper. Velma tried to dislodge the creatures by driving erratically, making random hard swings to the left and right, but the beings were hanging on for dear life. Then it got worse, as one of them grew bold enough to start trying to climb up into the van.

"Stop swervin' for a second!" Apple Bloom whispered into Velma's ear, then as the van's path straightened out the filly jumped into the back, spun around, and bucked the closer alien hard in the face. With a loud crunch and yell it let go, flying out the back doors and bouncing along the pavement. Bloom jumped back in the passenger seat as Velma started swerving again.

"Nice work Apple Bloom!" Velma cheered. "One down, one to go!"

"Yeah but he's hanging in there. How we gonna get rid of him?"

"Well he won't be dumb enough to try what his friend did, that's for sure." Velma answered. "I think we're going to have to get creative with this one. " And with that Velma pushed the van even harder, testing it's maximum speed and acceleration... Just as they entered a roundabout. Mystery Machine really shouldn't have been able to handle the constant curve as Velma looped around and around, but somehow it stayed on it's wheels, even if only two of them half the time. And on the eighth trip around, the alien's grip gave way, throwing it into the bushes alongside the roadway, while Velma quickly reacted, turning onto the road opposite the way they had come from.

"Boy Howdy! That was a trip an' a half!" Apple Bloom cheered. "He hung on long enough though didn't he? They must've really wanted us!"

"Us? Or the bottle? Velma wondered. "In any case, let's find a safe place, call Freddy and Shaggy to let them know where we'll be, and then run that second test... I'm getting really suspicious now..."

XXXXX

"This is it?" Sweetie Belle asked. "What a dump."

The unicorn filly was standing in the parking lot of the factory building where U.F.O.B-Gone was supposed to be made, along with Fred and Daphne, who also had surprised expressions on their faces. Because the so called factory was a run-down old strip mall storefront. There was a sign over the indicated suite, written in black spray paint on plywood. None of the other suites were occupied.

"Well we've come this far." Freddy said. "We might as well check it out." They went to the front door, which was unlocked, and stepped inside. There was a receptionist's desk, unmanned, a wall mounted television showing the infomercial on an endless loop, and several cardboard pdq's with 'Five dollar sample' bottles of the product. Fred pocketed one for Velma's backup, leaving a five on the desk in payment.

"Hello? Is anyone here?" Daphne called out, but there was no answer.

Investigating further, they stepped through a door marked 'Employees Only.' The back room was mostly empty. There were no machines, no workers or robots, no boxes of product ready to ship. There was a loading dock, with the big roll-up door in it's open position. A closed door marked 'Restroom' stood in a back corner.

The first thing the trio checked out was the open loading door. There were footprints covering the entire surface of the outer dock, which was deep with dust. "Well nothing's been loaded here in a long time." Daphne said. "There's footprints, but no wheel tracks."

"Right." Freddy agreed. "And take a look at this... There are some funny glowing footprints that come in from outside, then, I guess, follow the normal prints back out."

"Jeepers! The aliens must have attacked this place too, and chased everyone that was working here away!"

"But working at what?" Sweetie Belle wondered. "There were no factory machines inside."

Freddy nodded. "Now that's a good question Sweetie Belle. Let's take a closer look inside."

Back inside, they looked closely at the condition of the large room, but the only clue, at first, was what wasn't there: Not only were there no manufacturing machines, there was no indication that such had ever been there. There were no bolt holes drilled into the concrete, no discolored spots marking where large devices had sat, no safety signs or marking anywhere. Indeed, the only thing in the entire room was a series of three five foot long folding tables with a small home water purifying machine on one of them, a long water hose coiled haphazardly near the restroom door, and a door stop which was, oddly, nowhere near either of the doors.

"I wonder..." Freddy said, picking up the door stop and examining it, "How this got so far from either door... It's almost as if someone kicked it over here in a hurry."

"Well I guess we should check the restroom anyway. It's the only place we haven't searched." Daphne said.

They approached the door, but when Freddy reached to open it, someone threw it open from inside. "Get away! Get away!" He screamed, flailing and kicking.

"Whoa! Calm down mister!" Freddy motioned for the man to relax.

"What!? Oh! Oh, I thought you was them!" The man shuddered. "I thought you was the aliens!"

"Wait, they've been here too?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Came in not an hour ago, through the rolling door. Chased everyone else off, save that I was in there and they didn't see me. Once the place was empty, I unhooked the hose right quick, threw it out the door, kicked the door stop away so I could close it up tight an' lock it, then waited 'til I thought it was safe."

"Your story makes sense except for one thing." Daphne said. "Why would you have a restroom door propped open with a hose running in?"

The man's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Who are you anyway!? Cops!? I ain't sayin' nothing!" And with that he fled out the back door into the night.

"Well that was weird." Sweetie Belle said.

Freddy shook his head. " Oh, I don't know... I'll need to find out what the others have learned, but I think I'm starting to put half of this mystery together..." Before he could explain, Freddy's phone rang. "Hello? Velma? Wow! Okay, we'll meet you there soon." He hung up. "Velma and Apple Bloom just got away from two of the aliens. They've hidden in a grocery store parking lot. Let's go..."

XXXXX

Soon everyone was back together, along with Miss Duvalle. Freddy told the others about what they had found, handing Velma the 'sample' bottle as he did so. "Thanks Freddy." Velma said. "But after what you've told us you saw, I'm not sure there's any reason to bother testing this. After all, what we already found testing the first bottle twice lines up perfectly."

"And what did you find?" Daphne asked.

"It's just water!" Apple Bloom said.

Velma nodded. "Precisely. Just as I suspected in the first place, 'U.F.O.B-Gone' is a fraud. These bottles contain nothing but distilled water."

"Which explains what we found!" Sweetie Belle said. "They didn't need big machines! They just ran the hose from the tap in the restroom to the purifier, then bottled the water that came out of it and sold it!"

"Right!" Freddy said. "Which is also why that man ran when he thought we were police. He knew he was part of a scam."

"Why I never...!" Duvalle grumbled. "The nerve of some people... Oh Niles, you were right..."

Scootaloo said, "But hold on! If it is a fake, why are aliens bothering to attack over it?"

"Like yeah! And what about this clue we found?" Shaggy added, producing the odd hammer-looking tool.

"Um, Shaggy..." Velma reached into the Mystery Machine's glove box and produced another tool identical to the one Shaggy held.

"Zoinks!! Aliens have been in our glove box!!"

"No Shaggy, I bought this myself. It's an emergency escape tool."

"Remergency escape rool?"

Freddy said, "Right. Let's say we somehow drove into deep water and the van was sinking. We couldn't just push the doors open, all the water pressure would hold them shut. And rolling the windows down is out too. Power windows, they'd short out. That's where this comes in: The sharp tips are titanium allow, so sharp and strong they can shatter tempered glass, letting us escape."

Scootaloo's eyes went wide. "And we found this at the mansion, near where the tempered glass windows were broke... The aliens weren't so strong they could smash the glass! They cheated!"

"And, between that, something Miss Duvalle just said, and the fact that the product is in fact fake, I think this mystery is finally adding up." Velma said. "Freddy, it's trapping time!"

"Alright gang," Freddy said as they huddled together, "Here's what we're going to do..."

XXXXX

The plan went like this: First, everyone would return to the Duvalle mansion, where Freddy and Shaggy would replace the busted out glass windows, then coat them with a special non-reflective spray that was so good the aliens wouldn't be able to see it and would think the windowpanes were still empty. While they were doing this, Daphne and Velma would go up to the roof and rig up the netting to drop down onto the aliens at the right moment. And Scooby and the Crusaders would clean up the mess in the ballroom and get the lights back on.

Once all of that was ready, the trap would be set in motion. Shaggy and Scooby would go out, find the aliens, and lead them on a chase back to the mansion. When they arrived, they would be sure to run right past the ballroom. Inside, Freddy, Daphne, and Velma would be disguised as a news crew, interviewing Miss Duvalle who would pretend that the alien attack had convinced her to donate her entire fortune to the company for the good of humanity. Hearing this, the aliens would presumably break off chasing Shaggy and Scooby to try to run into the Mansion after Duvalle... Smacking head first into the glass they wouldn't know was there. Knocked onto their butts, they would be an easy target for the Crusaders waiting on the roof to release the nets onto.

Naturally, the whole plan went to pieces rather quickly.

Shaggy and Scooby crept slowly and quietly though the streets of Roswell, searching for the aliens. They passed the pizza parlor, the town park, the roundabout where Velma had lost the aliens earlier, but there was nothing to be found. "Like maybe they gave up and went home, eh Scoob?" Shaggy asked.

"Reah! Home to Mars!" Scooby agreed.

Continuing on, they eventually made their way back to the grocery store where Velma and Apple Bloom had hidden, and were considering going in for a snack when a familiar sound reached their ears. Moments later, the flying saucer passed overhead, taking no notice of the duo, and flew on towards the east. "Like I guess the snack will have to wait Scooby. Let's see where it's going."

Pursuing the disk, they were surprised to see it land in an open field on the outskirts of the Duvalle Estate, whereupon the whirring noise it made began to subside and three aliens emerged.

"Like okay Scooby, if we're gonna do this, I think now's the time, while they're on foot."

"Right Rhaggy."

Shaggy stood, waving his arms to get the aliens attention. "Hey uglies! Your mama was a facehugger!" He yelled. The aliens looked at each other, then gave chase. "Zoinks! Here they come run for it Scooby!!" And with that they fled full speed, all three of the aliens hot on their heels.

Meanwhile, atop the Duvalle Mansion, Scootaloo had found something odd. It was a metal box, obviously electronic of some sort, with an on/off button, a slider labeled 'focal length,' and a glass hemisphere on top. Curious, she pushed the on button. And yelped as a flying saucer materialized in the air above the mansion.

"What 'n tarnation!?" Apple Bloom yelled, and Sweetie Belle gasped.

Scootaloo was frightened, but only for a moment before she realized what must be happening. Reaching up, she swiped a hoof right through the saucer. "It's an illusion!" She realized.

Sadly, Shaggy and Scooby were slower to make said realization. As they ran towards the mansion, aliens close behind, the saucer illusion appeared before them, hovering over the roof. "Zoinks! We've been outflanked! About face!!"

They turned and ran back towards the aliens. As they did, Scooby exclaimed "Roh no!! They're rill coming!"

The aliens stopped on a dime at Scooby's shout. "A talking dog!!" One of them shouted in their first English words, and they turned and ran back the other way as well, Shaggy and Scooby now chasing them.

"Oh no!" Freddy exclaimed as he watched from inside the ballroom, "They're going back the other way!"

The aliens reached their saucer and climbed in, taking off as fast as they could. Shaggy and Scooby suddenly found themselves directly in the saucer's path and were picked up and carried along as it flew along. On board, the aliens began to argue with each other about how to get rid of their unwanted tag-alongs.

"Just fling them loose like the chick in the van did to us!" One said.

"No! We'll lose control if you do that!" Another argued.

"It's a risk I'm gonna take!" The pilot alien said. "We're not going anywhere with them!"

The saucer began to fly about erratically, up and down, left and right, even backwards and forwards. As they buzzed about, they got closer and closer to the mansion, until they were directly beneath the roof overhang above the ballroom. Two things happened at once then. First, the aliens finally shook Shaggy and Scooby free, sending them flying into some nearby shrubbery. Second, Scootaloo looked down, saw the saucer directly below the net trap, and signaled for Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle to drop the net.

The net fell, and a terrible noise erupted from the saucer, which began to smoke and shake and cast off pieces of itself in all directions, the buzzing sound of it's flight turning, momentarily, into an ear-splitting shriek before winding down as the vessel crashed. Then a funny thing happened. The flying saucer's body went fuzzy and indistinct, then vanished entirely revealing a very different type of flying machine inside.

"Jinkies! The flying saucer was really just a helicopter!" Velma said.

From the roof, Scootaloo called down "Hay look! There's another projector like the one up here on the front of that helicopter! Both saucers were fake!"

A door slid open on the side of the wrecked helicopter, and the three aliens stumbled out, and fell to the ground, clearly in no condition to continue their attack...

XXXXX

Half an hour later two county deputies arrived. They looked in surprise at the captured (And now hogtied) aliens, then demanded to know what this was all about.

"It's really quite simple sirs." Velma explained, "Miss Duvalle was taken in by a company that claimed to have invented an 'alien repellent.' But it was all a scam. The repellent bottle were just filled with water. Then, these guys showed up, dressed as aliens and using a helicopter and holograms to simulate a flying saucer."

Fred added, "They attacked Miss Duvalle's fundraiser, then the so called factory, as well as us when we tried to unravel the mystery."

"But the things we saw!" Duvalle said, "Niles was abducted with a levitation beam! And they punched through tempered glass windows!"

"Like the levitation beam was just a hook attached to a rope too thin to see from far away." Shaggy said.

Scootaloo said, "And they used one of these to break the glass." She held up the emergency tool.

Sweetie Belle said, "I'm still confused though... Why do all of this when the stuff was fake?"

"Yes, and who exactly are the men under these masks?" The senior deputy wondered.

Daphne looked at Duvalle. "Ma'am, I expect that two of these aliens are just hired thugs. But, I'm sorry, but there's only one person the ringleader can possibly be..."

Freddy pulled the mask from the lead alien. "Niles the Butler." He and Daphne said together.

"Niles!" Duvalle exclaimed, "But why!?"

When the butler simply looked away and wouldn't answer, Scootaloo said "We don't think he meant any harm."

"Jus' the opposite really." Apple Bloom said.

Velma said "Right. Niles knew the repellent was a scam. He also knew you'd not believe him until it was too late. So he set all this up to prove to you that U.F.O.B-Gone didn't really work before you lost your fortune."

"Niles? Is this true?" Duvalle asked.

"Yes madam. I am sorry, but I saw no other choice."

"Well like I guess that wraps everything up." Shaggy said.

"Rot quite." Scooby said. "One more ring."

Apple Bloom said "Yeah, why'd they come after Velma an' me when we were about to prove the thing they wanted to prove?"

"Rand us here." Scooby added.

Niles blushed with embarrassment. "Um, that was my mistake... We didn't know that's what you were doing. For all we knew, you were in on the scam. So we had to try to chase you off too..."

As the deputies led Niles and his hired conspirators away, (To everyone's surprise, Duvalle refused to fire him since he had meant well, though he would still have to face the legal consequences,) Freddy said "Well gang, there's another mystery solved."

"And like none too soon!" Shaggy said. "I'm just glad there weren't any real aliens!"

As he spoke, moaning sounds rose and the three alien heads appeared from behind a retaining wall. "Zoinks!! There's more of them!!"

"Yow!!" Scooby yelped, jumping into Shaggy's arms, the two of them running away as fast as Shaggy's legs could carry them.

Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle removed the masks. "Did we do that?" They asked, and everyone laughed...

There's No Goons Like Snow Goons

(Shaggy Voice Over: "Like, in this episode Scootaloo meets Calvin and Hobbes!")

XXXXX

The scene: A two story family home somewhere in America. It's the middle of the night, the middle of winter, and a deep fresh snow covers the world outside with more coming down in blinding cascades. Inside, a husband and wife lay abed, asleep, the nightly unconsciousness a welcome respite from the daily insanity of their six year old son. Suddenly, without warning, the bedroom door slams open and said son rushes in, a stuffed tiger clutched in his hands. He hops onto the bed, crying out, "Mom! Dad! Wake up! We're in danger!"

The Father grumbles as he comes half awake, "Calvin... What time is it-Two Thirty-One!? Go back to bed!"

"Dad I can't!"

"What is it this time Calvin? Monsters under your bed? Or in your closet? Or in you sock drawer?"

"No! Snow Goons! Outside!" Calvin exclaimed, "I heard them moaning and looked outside and there they were! Hobbes saw them too!" He held up the stuffed tiger.

No more awake than her husband, Calvin's mom managed to ask "Snow goons dear?"

"Sure!" Calvin nodded. "Like last month remember? I bought a snowman to life by praying to the snow demons and it went berserk and started mutating itself with extra limbs and an extra head and then it made more snow goons so I had to freeze them solid with the garden hose! Remember!?" Calvin looked thoughtful. "Odd though... I didn't make these new snow goons. I wonder where they came from?"

"Calvin..." The boy's father looked at him in a threatening manner, "Go. Back. To. Bed."

"But Dad!"

Calvin's mother rolled over and threw her blankets off. "Let's go honey, he's not gonna sleep 'til we prove it was a nightmare."

So the trio headed downstairs, into the kitchen, to the back door. Calvin's dad yanked the door open, and immediately shouted at his son. "Calvin! What did I tell you last time about building snowmen right in front of the door!?" Sure enough, a hideously deformed snowman stood so close to the door it was impossible to get out that way.

"Dad I told you! I didn't make this one!"

"Oh no!? Then how did it get here? You know Calvin, when I was your age your grandfather would never have let me get away with this kind of thing! And I think it's time you started to show some respect! Furthermore..." The boy's father launched into a speech about respect, accountability, and character. He was so involved in his spiel that he failed to notice the growing expressions of horror on the faces of his wife and son.

"Um... Dear..." Calvin's mom managed to whisper.

"Yes what is it?"

She pointed behind her husband, who turned to find that the snow man had raised it's stick arms high and opened it's mouth, revealing row after row of wickedly sharp teeth. It lunged forward, roaring, and all three members of the family screamed...

XXXXX

Not far away, Fred Jones careful guided Mystery Machine through the heavy snows. "Wow, it's really coming down!" He said.

"It sure is!" Apple Bloom agreed, peering out the passenger side window. "Hey! Check out these snowmen!" Fred continued to drive slowly past several home, each of which had a snowman in front. "We should build a snow pony!"

"Aw yeah!" Scootaloo agreed.

"That sounds fun girls." Daphne agreed. She fell silent for a moment, then added "But not like these!" Everyone, even Fred in the driver's seat, stared in shock. Before the house they were passing were countless bizarre snowmen: a crowd of tiny ones picketed against broccoli. A full sized one was torn in half by a school of snow-rahna. Another was holding up the decapitated head of yet a third.

"What in the world?" Fred wondered.

"Someone is seriously disturbed." Velma concluded.

"No kidding..."

Everyone continued to stare until Daphne glanced forward and cried out "Freddy! Look Out!" A family had run into the road directly into their path. Fred slammed on the brakes and swerved to the side, just managing to avoid them as Mystery Machine came to a stop.

"Like are you okay!?" Shaggy asked as everyone piled out of the van.

The father nodded. "I'm sorry, that was our fault."

"Is something wrong?" Velma asked.

"Yeah, you guys seem pretty scared." Scootaloo added.

Before any of the family could answer, a trio of their neighbors arrived, loudly complaining. "As if the boy wasn't bad enough!" One said, and another agreed "Now it's all three of you! People are trying to sleep!"

"I'm sorry, but-"

"But nothing!"

Apple Bloom jumped into the middle of the group. "Everybody calm down!" She shouted, and they did, perhaps at the shock of a small talking equine. 'Bloom looked around and said "Now what's going on here?"

"These are our neighbors." The father said. He motioned to them one by one. "David Jansen" (A tall balding man), "Agatha Worrell" (A fifty-ish woman with steel blue hair in a tight bun), "and Arthur Davidge" (Also around fifty, with thick silver hair and a far too-large nose). "We've had some... issues... in the past...."

"'Issues' he says." Agatha snorted, pointing at the family's son. "That boy is a menace!"

"Be that as it may," The mother said, "(And I can't deny it,) We really did see something strange just now."

"Hobbes saw it too!" The boy said holding up his stuffed tiger.

Jansen shook his head. "At least we know where he gets it from now..." The trio of neighbors turned and left, still grousing to themselves.

"Okay, so what did you three see?" Velma asked.

"Snow Goons!"

"Snow Roons?" Scooby asked.

"So it seems." The mother answered. "You've seen Calvin's snowmen right? Last month he insisted that some especially hideous ones had came to life. But now, all three of us saw one!"

The father nodded. "Yes, it chased us all through the house before we got away."

Fred broke into a grin. "Gang, it sounds like we've got a mystery on our hands!"

XXXXX

The gang returned to the house with Calvin's family. There was no sign of the monster, and everything looked perfectly ordinary save for numerous streaks of water scattered all over the floors. "Melted snow?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"That would be my guess." Daphne agreed.

"So what's the plan?" Scootaloo asked.

"Okay, here's what we'll do:" Fred began. "Sweetie Belle? You go with Shaggy and Scooby and check out David Jansen's home for clues." He passed her a small walkie-talkie. "Velma and Apple Bloom will check up on Agatha Worell." (Another walkie.) "And Daphne and I will go see if there's anything suspicious about Arthur Davidge."

Scootaloo cocked her head. "Wait! What about me?"

Velma handed her the last walkie. "You'll stay here with Calvin and his parents. Lock up, don't go outside, and if any more of these snow goons do show up, call us and we'll be right back."

"Phooey." Scootaloo complained.

Once everyone else was gone, and the doors locked tight, Scootaloo, Calvin, and his parents looked at each other no one sure what to do. Finally the boy's father said "I'll make the rounds and double check that all the windows are tightly locked."

"I'll make coffee." the mother said with a yawn.

"And I'll keep watch from upstairs!" Calvin decided. "Come on Hobbes!" Both parents yelled for him to come back, but he was already up the stairs tiger in tow.

Scootaloo looked at them both, and said "Keeping watch from higher up really isn't a bad idea... I'll go with him." She bounded up the stairs before they could object.

"Hay Calvin? Calvin where'd you go?" Scootaloo called out as she trotted along the short upstairs hallway. Getting no answer she peered into the rooms. The first was a bath, and the second clearly the parent's room. She went to the final door. Beyond was a messy room littered with toys. Hobbes sat atop the bed, plush as ever. Calvin was not in evidence, but sounds came from the closet. The filly's eyes went wide with confusion when she looked: There stood Calvin, having quickly changed into a tight jumpsuit-like outfit with a toy suction cup 'blaster' belted to his waste. He was just pulling a pair of triangular sunglasses down over his eyes when he saw her.

"Great Moons of Neptune!!!" The boy exclaimed, "The equine female has discovered my secret identity as Spaceman Spiff, Savior of the Universe!" Scootaloo stared for three seconds more, then fell over and started rolling around on her back laughing.

Getting control of herself, Scootaloo rolled back to her hooves. "Seriously, what are you doing?"

"I didn't make these snow goons. So, they can only be the work of the evil Zarg King! He's been a thorn in my side for decades..."

One eyebrow raised, Scootaloo replied "You're six."

"Time is relative. I don't expect a girl to understand." Calvin pulled his 'blaster.' "Setting to 'Frap Ray.' Never fear, Spaceman Spiff is here! I. Fear. Nothing." A knock sounded from the window and Calvin jumped into the closet shouting "Snow Goons! Eat the horse! Eat the horse!"

Rolling her eyes as she looked towards the window, Scootaloo pointed and said "Um, Calvin...?" Beyond the window was not a snow goon, but a girl Calvin's age with short dark hair who had climbed up a trellis to reach the window.

"Susie?" Calvin wondered. He opened the window and let her in. "What are you doing here anyway? And this late?"

"I woke up and heard my dad talking to Mister Jansen. Is there something really going on? And what's with the pony?"

"Name's Scootaloo." The filly offered a hoof to shake.

Susie's eyes went wide as she made a sound like 'SQUEEEEE!!!!"

"Yeah yeah, she talks. Too much." Calvin said.

"So I'll ask you again." Susie said, "What's going on?"

A new voice said "Well it's kind of complicated..."

At this new speaker, Susie and Scootaloo turned to stare at the bed. And the very much real Hobbes sitting atop it.

"Wait a minute! You're real!?" Scootaloo exclaimed.

Calvin rolled his eyes. "Of course he is! Haven't you two been paying any attention at all!? Hobbes has been right here all along you know. Sheesh!"

"A stuffed doll has been here all along." Scootaloo corrected.

"Ugh, whatever... You two stay here with Hobbes and keep watch out this window. I'll watch from Mom and Dad's window on the other side of the house." Calvin fled out the door, still in his Spaceman Spiff costume.

"No offense Susie, Hobbes, but you friend is kind of weird."

"Oh he's not my friend." Susie insisted, "Just my bad luck of neighbor. What about you Hobbes?"

They looked to the bed, where the tiger was merely a stuffed toy once more. Looked at each other, at the toy, and back to each other. "What in the world...?" Both asked together...

XXXXX

Shaggy inched to the corner of David Worrell's house, two doors to the south of Calvin's home, peeked around the corner confirming the coast was clear, and motioned for Sweetie and Scooby to join him. "Rhat now Rhaggy?" the dog asked.

"Like I'm not sure." Shaggy whispered back. "Fred and Velma think this guy is suspicious though, so I guess we gotta look around." He glanced down at Sweetie Belle. "Like, not to make you mad or anything, but I wonder if we could attach a mirror to the tip of your horn for looking around corners?"

"Seriously?" Sweetie snarked. "Better idea: Use Scooby's tail. It's longer and flexible."

Shaggy eyed the dog appraisingly. "Say, that could work..."

"Sweetie Relle! Now look rhat you've done!"

They hushed at a sudden loud clattering, followed by cursing. David Jansen appeared from a large backyard storage barn and trudged though the snow to his house. "Kinda late and cold for working out here wouldn't you guys say?" Sweetie Belle whispered.

Shaggy nodded. "Yeah... Let's check out that barn..."

Slowly, carefully, quietly, they made their way through the deep snow to the barn door, Shaggy lamenting the impossibility of hiding their path in the snow, though so far as that went there were paths worn into the snow in all directions already. Inside the barn, they found a large workbench and a number of power tools. There were also several unusual objects, like deformed half-finished robots, scattered about. "Not uncreepy..." Sweetie Belle whispered.

"Like they look like modern art." Shaggy said. "Maybe there's nothing odd going on here. This Jansen guy might just be an artist."

"Rhaggy! Reetie! Look at rhis!" Scooby called to the others. Joining him, they found something different. In the back corner of the barn was a unusual construct. It was maybe three and a half feet tall, and made of various objects stacked on top of one another. A small striped shirt was pulled over part of it, and at the very top was a basketball with a spiky blonde wig.

"It... Kind of looks like Calvin." Sweetie Belle observed.

"Like yeah, and look here." Shaggy pulled a half gallon can of gasoline and a box of matches from behind the figure. "Looks like he was planning to burn Calvin in effigy... This guy must really not like kids."

"Or Calvin. But, this is suspicious either way right?"

"Like yeah. So I think we've seen enough. Let's get out of here before Jansen comes back." They turned to leave, only to find the door blocked. But not by David Jansen. A hideous snow-monster with two heads and five arms stood before the trio. "ZOINKS! It's a snow goon!"

"Plural!" Sweetie Belle said as three more appeared behind the first.

"Ruh-Roh!" Scooby cried. "Rack door! Rack door!"

Mercifully, there weren't any more of the creatures watching the barn's back exit. But that didn't stop the four snow goons already on their heels from giving chase. "What do we do!?" Sweetie Belle shouted.

"Like follow our lead Sweetie!" Shaggy said. "Around here!" They turned around the corner of the next house on the street.

Seconds later, the snow goons rounded the same corner. And stopped in confusion. The boy and his dog and pony couldn't possibly have been fast enough to be out of sight yet. But there was no sign of them. Nothing was in view but a very large (normal) snowman. "Grrr?" The lead monster expressed an inquizitive growl. it looked all around and even carefully examined the snowman, but there was nothing to be found. Giving a shrug, the snow goon wondered away in search of their prey.

No sooner were they gone, then the top 'head' part of the snowman shuddered, then fell apart, revealing a shivering Sweetie Belle whose horn had filled in for the carrot nose. "Psssst! The coast is clear!" Sweetie said, and the bottom and middle of the snowman also fell apart revealing Shaggy and Scooby.

"Whew! Rhat was close!" Scooby shuddered.

"You said it." Sweetie agreed. "So what now?"

"Back to Calvin's!" Shaggy said, "And hope we get there before they do!"

XXXXX

Fred and Daphne strolled down the sidewalk in front of Arthur Davidge's house, scoping things out. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary: porch lights glowed, interior lights were out, and there was no sign of movement. "Okay," Fred whispered, "Once we're out of sight past the next house we'll head around to the back and see what's what."

"Right." Daphne agreed.

They made their way to the back, and found a surprise. The back door of the house was standing wide open. Exchanging a look of concern, the duo went to the door. Fred called out, but there was no answer. "Snow goon mystery aside, I'm concerned." Daphne said.

Fred nodded in agreement. "Something's not right. Let's check it out." Entering the house, they first found a large sun room, which led into a dining room with the kitchen to one side and a study to the other. All were vacant, and nothing seemed amiss. They followed a hallway past a bath, laundry, and bedroom, all also empty of people or clues, until the door at the very end opened onto a garage.

"Freddy, I think we've found a clue..." Daphne said after turning on the lights to reveal the garage.

There was no vehicle. Instead, the entire garage was cluttered with folding resin tables heaped high with some kind of electronic devices. A trio of large trash cans in a corner near the roll-up doors overflowed with empty packaging. Fred picked one out and read the label. "R/C remotes?" He wondered. "Daphne, that's what every bit of this is! Tons and tons of remote controlled motors and servos, along with the wiring to connect them to each other and power sources."

"Why would anyone need so many?" Daphne wondered. Then something else caught her eye. On one of the tables was what looked like a robotic arm. A dart was clutched in it's hand, and there was a remote control sitting next to it. "I wonder what this does?" She asked and pushed the 'on' button, jumping back as the arm came to life and threw the dart.

"Yikes!" Fred said when he saw where the dart had landed: Right in the middle of a picture of Calvin taped to a wall.

"This guy does not like that boy." Daphne concluded. "But why? What could a six year old have done to deserve this type of anger?"

"I'm sure I don't know yet." Fred answered, "But by itself throwing darts at his picture doesn't explain the sheer number of components here. There's something else going on."

"Maybe, but-" Daphne fell quiet as they both heard a noise elsewhere in the house. "Check it out?" She whispered.

"Right."

Being careful to switch off the light Daphne had turned on, they sneaked back into the house. Halfway down the hall they saw it: A snow goon, standing in the dining room. The creature looked about, then moved towards the hall. "In here!" Fred hissed, and pulled Daphne into the laundry, carefully but quickly pulling the door too a crack. They watched as the snow goon passed by, not detecting them, and continued into the garage. Both heard a faint odd sound as it moved.

"Back out the sun room." Daphne whispered, and Fred nodded. They got clear of the house, and retraced their steps back to the sidewalk. In front of the house next door to Davidge's home, with a clear view of the front, they discussed their options.

"Should we try to capture it?" Daphne wondered.

"Risky with just the two of us." Fred answered.

"True... So I guess our options are to follow when it comes out, or just go back to Calvin's and regroup with the others."

"Regroup, I think, is best." Fred decided. "We need to know what they found out before we plan anything."

And so, resuming their cover as a young couple out for a romantic walk in the snow, they started back along the sidewalk the way they had come from. But then, just as they were crossing the Davidge driveway right in front of the house, the garage door rolled open and out lumbered the snow goon, heading right for them. A low moaning sound arose from all directions, and four additional snow goons appeared as well.

"Jeepers! We're surrounded!"

"Not quite we aren't!" Fred said. "Follow my lead Daph!" To Daphne's surprise he ran directly towards one of the goons, and jumped, grabbing a tree branch over the creature's head and shaking hard. This dislodged a tremendous amount of snow which covered the monster, briefly pinning it in place and giving them the opening they needed to get away.

"Nice move Freddy!" Daphne cheered as she ran right past the trapped snow goon.

"Thanks! Now let's book it!" They fled, with the remaining snow goons close behind...

XXXXX

Velma and Apple Bloom arrived at Agatha Worrell's home. It was a small ranch style house of brick, with a tall wooden privacy fence enclosing the back. A car sat in the driveway. Lights were on inside, and movement could be seen. "Hmmm... I'm weighing the pros and cons of just knocking and talking to her." Velma said.

"Kinda late at night for that ain't it?" Bloom asked.

Velma nodded. "Yeah. And of course right now I've not really got anything to talk to her about... Let's see if we can get a look over that back fence." They moved carefully towards the house, but when they were passing the parked car Velma hissed for Apple Bloom to stop. Looking in the car window, she said "Look at this."

'Bloom looked. "Is that what ah think it is?" She asked.

"It sure is." Velma confirmed. Laying on the car's front passenger seat, stuffed full with dozens of pins, was a Calvin voodoo doll.

"That's a clue right?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Maybe..." Velma said. "Though, on it's own all it proves is that she really doesn't like Calvin, which we already knew from what she said when they were all yelling at his parents. Let's see what else we can find."

They came to the side of the privacy fence, and found a place where Agatha's next door neighbor had stacked several tall piles of firewood. A lucky break since neither of them was tall enough to look over the fence without the boost from climbing on top of the taller piles. The yard beyond was mostly normal, though there were two possible anomalies. First there was an odd machine, unlike anything Apple Bloom recognized. And second, there was a wide path trudged down deep in the snow, as if several people had walked it back and forth over and over. The path led between the machine and a gate in the fence on the far side of the house.

"What'dya figure that there machine is for?" Apple Bloom asked.

"No need to figure 'Bloom." Velma said. "I can tell you exactly what it is: A snow maker. You feed water in one end and it freezes it and chips it into tiny ice shavings like snow and blows them out the other end."

"Ya don't say?" Apple Bloom looked and saw that another pile of firewood was stacked on the inside of the fence. Using it, she jumped down to the ground and approached the machine while Velma kept watch on the house. 'Bloom trotted all around it, and tapped the side with a hoof, then briefly held a hoof to it. She returned to the base of the firewood pile and said "That thing's been turned on not too long ago. It's not burnin' hot, but the motor's still warm."

"Strange." Velma mused. "Why would anyone run a snow maker in a snow storm?"

"Good question. But that's all there is. Everything else looks fine."

"Alright then. Come on up 'Bloom, I think we'd better get out of here before any snow goons show up, and-" Velma stopped talking when she saw the look on Apple Bloom's face as the filly looked past her. "There's one right behind me, isn't there?"

"Eenope... There's four right behind you."

"Irony how I loathe thee... Run!!" Velma jumped over the fence and together with Apple Bloom ran for the gate in the fence. The snow goons followed, busting down the fence and sending fire logs flying in all directions. The gate was locked, which made Velma roll her eyes in anger at the universe again, while Apple Bloom had an idea. She pulled the bright red ribbon from her mane and began waving it back and forth like a matador's cape. The snow goons charged and she jumped to the side just in time, goons smashing the fence down and stumbling to the ground.

"Great!" Velma said, "Let's go!"

They ran directly over the fallen snow goon's backs before they could get back up, but the chase was soon on once again. They ran up one street and down another, through empty lots, and across a frozen pond that creaked precariously but didn't give way. No matter where they fled though, the snow goons were hot on their tail. "These guys don't give up!" Apple Bloom panted, "And I'm gettin' tired!"

"Me too! I had hoped to lose them before we went back to Calvin's, but I guess we've got no choice."

"Alright then! Let the others know!"

Velma used the walkie Fred had given her. "Freddy? Sweetie? Scoots? We're coming in fast to the house with some unwelcome guests on our trail!"

"Same here!" Sweetie Belle answered.

"Ditto!" Fred said.

"What!?" Scootaloo exclaimed. "They're chasing all of you!? Okay, We'll be ready here!"

"I sure hope so..." Velma said, "I sure hope so..."

XXXXX

Leaving Calvin and Susie upstairs, Scootaloo fluttered down the stairs and filled Calvin's parents in on what was happening. The father quickly unlocked and opened the front door, breathing a sigh of relief that there wasn't also one of the creatures already waiting there. Scootaloo stepped outside, and looked around. Her ears perked up as she heard the moaning of snow goons all around, and then screams. Shaggy, Sweetie Belle, and Scooby appeared from the north, coming fast with four snow goons a good distance behind. Then Velma and Apple Bloom appeared, from the south, with four more goons on their tails, and from the east came Fred and Daphne with their entourage of five.

Half a second more, and Scootaloo yelped and jumped back into the house as she realized they were all going to get to the door at the exact same moment. They did just that, in an epic pile-up that nearly kept anyone from getting inside before the first of the snow goons caught up. Calvin's dad slammed and locked the door just in time. Everyone peered out of windows and watched as the crowd of goons surrounded the house.

After making sure everyone was okay, the teens began filling Calvin's parents and each other in on what they had found. Scootaloo however insisted that Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom come upstairs with her. "You're not staying for this?" Fred asked.

"Sweetie and 'Bloom can fill me in on what you saw." Scootaloo said. "But I've got another mystery here..." She trotted up the stairs and her fellow Crusaders followed.

Upstairs, Calvin had returned to his room and changed back into more sensible clothes while Susie kept a leery eye on the plush Hobbes who had stayed a toy. She didn't take her eyes off of him (not even for Calvin pacing the room muttering to himself) until the Crusaders arrived. "Oh my gosh there really are more of you!" She exclaimed on seeing Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle.

"Told you." Scootaloo said, and passed around introductions. "What's up with him?" She asked of the pacing Calvin.

"I'm just thinking." Calvin answered for himself. "It wasn't the Zarg King after all-"

"What's a Zarg?" Sweetie asked.

"You don't want to know." Scootaloo answered.

"Yeah you really don't." Susie agreed.

"If I may finish?" Calvin groused. "It wasn't the Zarg King, so I've been trying to figure out which of my other enemies might be responsible."

"Ooh! Ooh! Is it the Crab Teacher!? Or Babysitter Girl!?" A suddenly alive Hobbes asked.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle swung around to face the tiger, jaws dropped open. "And there it is again." Scootaloo said. "Happened before too."

"Hobbes...? How can you be alive?" Susie asked.

Hobbes cocked his head. "I don't understand the question.

"Well y'all were a stuffed animal before..."

"Stuffed? No, it's been hours since I ate anything." Hobbes said. He looked at Calvin. "What's this about?"

"Just girls being girls." Calvin said. "We don't have time for it." He walked into his closet and returned a moment later dragging a large cardboard box with 'time machine' written on the side. "I've figured it out! Hobbes was right! Clearly the nefarious Babysitter Girl has teamed up with my arch-nemesis, the evil Crab Teacher, to create the snow goons!"

"And a cardboard box will help how?" Apple Bloom asked.

Calvin snorted. "Cardboard. This my equine friend is a time machine! I'll simply go back to the past, prevent the team up from happening, and here in the present the snow goons will all go 'poof!'" A phone began to ring downstairs as Calvin hopped into the box and put on goggles. "Hobbes? Stay here and keep watch." Hobbes saluted and walked to the window.

The phone stopped ringing. Calvin started making odd sound effects.

"Um? Calvin?" Scootaloo asked, getting no response.

"Forget it." Susie said. "He's gone to us until this plays itself out."

"But what-" Scootaloo was interrupted by the sound of Calvin's dad shouting up the stairs, "Calvin! Is Susie up there!?"

"That must've been my mom or dad on the phone." Susie said. "Time to face the firing squad. You'll stay up here and keep an eye on Hobbes right?"

"Sure thing."

The ponies watched Susie leave, then returned their attention to Hobbes, who was still on a stool before the window, but stuffed once again. "What'n tarnation!?" Apple Bloom wondered.

"Some kind of magic?" Sweetie Belle suggested.

Scootaloo shook her head. "Humans don't have magic. We all know that. And besides..." (She glanced at Calvin, who was still lost in his time travel fantasy), "Besides, Calvin talks to that tiger like it was real all the time. I think he always sees Hobbes real. I think he doesn't know everyone else doesn't."

Just then, Calvin jumped out of the box and removed his goggles. "There! It's done! No more Snow Goons!" He looked at the ponies. "Wow. With the timeline changed, I'm surprised you're still here."

"Yeah about that changed timeline..." Apple Bloom pointed out the window.

"What the!?" Calvin exclaimed. "How can they still be here!?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because your 'time machine' is an empty cardboard box!?" Scootaloo shouted.

"That's just what it's cloaking device disguises it as! Duh!"

Susie returned, head low. "I'm gonna be grounded for a month when this is all over." She said.

"That's still not as bad as how long Calvin's punishments last." Hobbes said, causing Sweetie Belle who had been standing with her back to him to jump.

"Again..." Susie said with wonder.

Before any more could be discussed, They heard Fred's voice, calling for everyone to come back downstairs. Susie and the Crusaders weren't sure how to handle bringing Hobbes. Luckily, Calvin instructed him to continue keeping watch at the window. Boy, girl, and ponies left, and in moments the room was host only to an empty cardboard box and a stuffed tiger toy...

XXXXX

While the Crusaders had been busy in Calvin's room, the gang had compared notes. As Scootaloo reached the bottom step she heard Fred saying "We've got clues pointing in all three directions at once. It could be any one of them."

"No matter which one it is," Calvin's mom said, "I'm having words with them all about these dart boards and voodoo dolls and effigies! Calvin or not he's still my son!"

"Good to hear. But it still leaves us with the question of how to proceed." Velma said.

Shaggy added "Especially since we're trapped in here!"

"Reah! Trapped!" Scooby agreed, pointing to a window where a snow goon was trying peek in.

Daphne closed the window blinds. "I hate to say this, I know we usually don't until everything is wrapped up, but should we call the police?"

"That'll never work!" Calvin said. "For some reason the police won't answer calls to this address anymore." Everyone looked away from him awkwardly.

"Well as long as we're talking out of order, why not just go ahead with the trap?" Apple Bloom suggested.

"Like without Velma saying 'Gang, I've just about figured this mystery out' first!? Madness!" Shaggy laughed.

"Hardy har-har." Velma said. "Typical or not, I think we've gotta do it. So come on gang, let's put our heads together and figure this out..."

While the timing may have been off, the trap itself was pure Mystery Inc. After conferring with Daphne and Velma, and having everyone gather as many of the needed supplies as they could find inside the house, Fred said "Okay gang, here's the plan: First, we're short a couple of needed parts. Calvin's dad has them, but they're in the backyard storage shed. So we need to distract the snow goons away long enough for us to retrieve them."

Velma said "Shaggy, Scootaloo, Scooby? That's your job. I've modified Calvin's toy crossbow to be powerful enough to shoot a line from an upstairs window here to one of the neighboring houses. The three of you will zip line out, get their attention, and lure them away."

"Remember," Fred said, "You only need to distract them long enough for us to gather the remaining supplies from the shed. Five minutes should be enough. After that, head back here and run for the front door. Velma will let you in and slam the door behind you."

"And, like bolt, double bolt, and triple-bolt it I hope." Shaggy said.

Daphne shook her head. "No Shaggy, that's a part of the trap. We want the snow goons to get in for the trap. But we also want them to think they broke in, so they won't expect us to be ready for them. So Velma won't throw the latch. Hopefully, they'll think she messed up on that."

"And what happens once the snow goons are inside?" Scootaloo asked.

Everyone who wouldn't be going on the distraction mission held up one of the trap props they had found in the house: A paint can, a blowtorch, a length of pipe, and other objects. "Then," Daphne said, "We go all Macaulay Culkin on their frozen butts."

Scootaloo grinned. She'd seen Home Alone since arriving on earth. "Cool..."

XXXXX

Ten minutes later, Velma had the zip line ready to fire. They went upstairs, to the parent's bedroom, and opened the window. Velma fired the line, which went over the heads of the oblivious snow goons and attached perfectly to the next house over, about seven feet off the ground. "Remember, five minutes, then get back here to the front door."

Scooby saluted. "You can rount on us Relma... Rut... got any Scooby Snacks?"

"Always." Velma said, hugging the dog and handing him a half full box which he and Shaggy devoured in seconds.

"Okay guys, let's do this." Scootaloo said, and slid down the line first, followed by Shaggy and Scooby last with a little push from Velma. On reaching the end of the line, Scootaloo glided to the ground while Shaggy and Scooby jumped. "So how do we get their attention?" Scootaloo wondered.

"Like, like this..." Shaggy said, and he began shouting loudly. "Hey! Hey all you snow goons!" Three of the creatures turned to look. "Like your mother was a polar vortex, and your father was the snow miser!"

The monsters roared and gave chase.

"Ruh-roh! Run!"

They did, across the street and through a vacant lot, then cutting through several backyards, setting numerous dogs barking and waking more than a few neighbors who looked out their windows and would have yelled, had they not also seen the snow goons. The creatures proved smarter than they had seemed before, trying to cut the trio off more than once, but never quite being fast enough to get ahead of them in time. (Though at one point they did try to repeat the 'hiding in a snowman' stunt from earlier. It didn't work as well this time.) As the five minutes came and went, Scootaloo realized that, in the need to avoid the monsters, they had gotten further away from Calvin's house than they had really meant to. She mentioned this to Shaggy, who remembered Velma's story from earlier and had an idea. "Like this way!"

They made their way to the neighbor hood park, and the frozen-over pond Velma and Apple Bloom had made their escape across before. Velma had been clear that the ice had nearly cracked under them, and he was counting on the greater weight doing the job this time around. When they got there, it did indeed crack almost immediately, and they floated across on a miniature iceberg while the snow goons were forced to go around. That said though, 'going around' wasn't much of a walk on a tiny pond, so as soon as they reached the far side the trio ran for all they were worth, the goons still on their heels.

Calvin's home soon came into sight, Velma standing ready at the door. They all barrelled in and Velma closed the door but didn't lock it, according to plan. "Is everyone ready?" Scootaloo asked as the monsters began clawing at the outside of the door.

"We're all ready here Scoots." Fred said.

"Awesome!" Scootaloo looked all around the room. She saw numerous 'Home Alone' inspired traps set up, along with Fred, Daphne, Velma, Susie, her fellow Crusaders, and Calvin's parents, all ready to activate the traps in a carefully prepared sequence designed to take out each and every one of the snow goons. She also saw Shaggy and Scooby taking shelter. What she didn't see was... "Where's Calvin?"

The boy's mom answered "We didn't trust him with any of this. He's in his room sulking."

"Ahhh..." Scootaloo said, and then yelped and ran as the snow goon burst in through the door, moaning.

Hiding near where Fred was stationed, she could hear him whispering "Just a few feet more... A little more..."

Mere seconds before Fred would have given the signal to begin, a laugh rang out. Everyone looked to the top of the stairs. "Oh no..." Calvin's dad moaned as he face palmed. There stood Calvin, still in his usual clothes but with a cape and cowl over his head.

"Foolish snow goons!" Calvin shouted. "Now you face the magnificent might of Stupendous Man!"

"Seriously?" Apple Bloom deadpanned.

Calvin was indeed serious, as he slid down the banister and jumped into the midst of the snow goons, throwing punches and kicks as he went, exclaiming out sixties-style Adam-West-as-Batman sound effects like "Ka-Pow!" and "Ka-Pwing!" To the surprise of no one but Calvin, this was totally ineffective. The snow goons grabbed the boy and, carrying him over their heads, turned and started out the door.

"Zounds!" Calvin exclaimed, "The fiends have somehow acquired a sample of my one weakness! An ingot of the power sapping alien metal Stupendi-Not!"

"Seriously?" Apple Bloom repeated, as deadpan as before.

"Little help!?" Calvin screamed.

"Oh for the love of..." Scootaloo groused, "Okay I got this! Daphne! Throw that paint can!"

"But it'll miss!"

"I know, just do it!" Scootaloo insisted.

Daphne threw the can, which was tied to a rope to make it swing in an arc. The plan of course had been to brain one of the monsters with it, but they were all now out of range. Not that this mattered, since it wasn't Scootaloo's plan. As the can swung past, she grabbed ahold, and at just the right point of the upswing let go and furiously beat her wings for the small amount of lift they would add. In this way, she flew out the door, over the snow goon's heads, and spun around as she landed right in their path.

"Quite a snowstorm eh?" She said. "Let's see what a little pegasus magic can to do that!" Concentrating her innate magical powers, the filly caused a brief but memorable boost in the storm's fury, centered on the goons. It only lasted a few moments, but in that time all of the creatures were trapped, most of them totally covered with only the three largest still visible at all, and even in their cases only the heads sticking out of the snow...

XXXXX

A few minutes later, everyone (Including Susie's parents, who had arrived after an 'all clear' phone call) were standing outside staring at the three snow goon heads. "There really were monsters!" Susie's dad whispered.

"Not quite." Velma said. She, Fred, and Daphne handed pitchers full of very hot water to the three family members. "The unmasking honors are all yours."

Father, Mother, and son each poured out water over one of the heads, melting away the snow, revealing:

"Like all three of them!?" Shaggy exclaimed. Jansen, Davidge, and Worrell stared out from mechanical suits.

"Exactly!" Daphne said. "Mister Jansen made the suits, including all the extras that are just R/C robots controlled by the devices Mister Davidge installed. Then, they used Mrs. Worrell's snow machine to cover themselves, creating the illusion that Calvin's 'snow goons' really had come to life.

"But the part I still don't get is why?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Because we wanted to scare them into moving away!" Agatha Worrell said. "That boy is strange! We want him gone!"

Jansen added, "And we would've gotten away with it! If it weren't for this meddling pegasus, and her weather magic!"

Scootaloo grinned. She couldn't resist: "Have you had enough then? Or you hungry for more?"

Author's Note

Okay, so three important points:

1: While I am fully aware that Watterson always insisted that the question of Hobbes was open for fans to believe whichever way they want, I am firmly in the camp of those convinced there had to be something more to him than just Calvin's imagination. I was pushed over that edge by a storyline where Calvin wanted to be an escape artist like Houdini and had Hobbes tie him up. The knots Calvin was bogrolled up in, there's no way he could have done it to himself.

2: In spite of this, and in spite of some characters other than Calvin seeing Hobbes alive, the ambiguity is actually still here. Notice the pattern: Hobbes only comes alive in the presence of Calvin, Susie, and at least one of the Crusaders. Just Calvin and Scoots? Toy. Just Scoots and Susie? Toy. Just Calvin and Susie? Toy. All three? Real. So, is Hobbes real normally? Or is he normally just a figment of Calvin's imagination, who in this one case briefly came alive from some mystical interaction of Calvin's powerful imagination, Susie's childhood innocence, and the Crusader's genuine pony magic? I'll leave the answer up to you.

3: I want to apologize to the fans of all of my stories. Besides this one, I know there are still people hoping for a continuation of P.O.N.I.E.S. or that Unity sequel I promised. The past two and a half years have been pretty rough. In May 2016 my mother had a massive stroke. Between visiting her regularly for several months, and then having to care for her when she came home, there just wasn't much time, and it got even harder as her health declined further. Then she passed in July of this year and by the time I was finished with everything that came from that it was the holidays. So, here's to hoping that 2019 is a better year. I'm not making any promises, but hopefully I'll be back on a regular writing schedule soon. Merry Christmas!

Crusader's Covid Caper!!

Point Pleasant, West Virginia. May, 2020. it was just past nine in the evening, on a warm spring day. A few miles outside of the town itself, lay an area that had been used by the army as a weapons depot during the second world war but was, today, abandoned for decades. It was known to the locals as the 'TNT Area' and had been, for decades, a popular lover's lane for the town's teenagers.

And so we find a car parked near one of the area's many dome shaped explosives holding structures, and seated on the dome itself a young couple. Billy Bob Roberts, eighteen, was the high school's football hero, a sturdy, heavily built lad with blonde hair in a buzzcut. His girlfriend, Peggy Sue Lee, was of course the head cheerleader. They sat, he on the right and she on the left, and to Billy's dismay Peggy seemed more concerned about the environs than him.

"Come on Pegs!" Billy exclaimed, "I thought you'd wanna... Y' know..."

"Oh I did Billy, but this place is just so creepy." Peggy answered.

Billy laughed. "Oh come on, you can't really believe all those dumb stories."

"Not really... But we've got other things to be scared of too you know. We're not even supposed to be this close to each other right now!"

"Like I'd get you sick." Billy said, and leaned in to kiss the girl. Peggy returned his affections at first, but after a few moments pulled back suddenly.

"Did you hear that!!?" She whispered.

"Didn't hear a thing." Billy replied, and leaned towards Peggy again. But before he could kiss her, the boy became aware of movement, both behind and above him. He looked up. And up. And up. Into a pair of large eyes, glowing a bright red.

Both teens screamed and ran for Billy's car, the eye's owner following close behind. Luckily, Billy had left the windows down and the keys in the ignition. They dived through the open windows, Billy turning the key even as he pulled himself upright in the driver's seat and slamming the pedal to the floor, racing away. The eyes receded behind them, but then there was a sound like something snapping open, and the eyes rose up, taking flight and following faster.

"It's gaining on us Billy!" Peggy screamed.

"Just hang on! I'll get us out of this!" Billy said, but then there was a new sound, the sound of something heavy landing on the roof of the car, and two spots directly above the couple's heads bowed down from the weight. Then they were both screaming again...

XXXXX

While Billy and Peggy were beginning to regret their decisions, Mystery Machine was pulling into Point Pleasant itself, on the opposite side of town. "Gosh Shaggy," Daphne said, "It sure is nice of your uncle to lend us his cabin. It'll be a great place to wait out this whole covid thing."

"Like yeah!" Shaggy agreed. "It's out of the way, but close enough to this little town that we'll be able to get food and supplies when we need them."

"You mean we'll go get the supplies." Apple Bloom said.

"Since Velma says we can't get the disease thing, or even carry it!" Sweetie Belle agreed.

'We appreciate that girls." Daphne smiled.

Shaggy said "Like, I just hope there's still a store open this late. We'll need some stuff before we get there."

"Don't worry Shaggy. I'm sure we'll find something. In fact, here's the local police station. Why don't we ask here if there's anyplace we can shop?" Freddy said from the driver's seat.

Freddy pulled the van into the closest open parking space, and Scootaloo was the first one out the door, followed by her fellow Crusaders. "We'll go in and ask!" She said. But before the trio could do so, a police cruiser pulled up behind the van, and a deputy got out. His uniform was deep blue, and he wore a namebadge that read 'Hollister.'

"You kids from out of town?"

"Yes officer." Freddy said. "is there a problem?"

The deputy gave everyone the entire speech about how they needed to be staying away from large groups, and seemed to relax when Shaggy explained that they were in fact on thier way to do just that. "All right then. Sorry to be pushy, it's just, Sheriff Tyler would have my head if I didn't. He's a good guy, normally, but most folks around here aren't paying much attention to the quarantine rules and people higher up are coming down on him hard to enforce things."

"We just need to know where we can buy some groceries." Scootaloo said.

"Yeah! Roceries!" Scooby agreed.

Deputy Hollister startled slightly at the talking pony, and even more so at the talking dog. 'Um... Right. Well, I'm sorry kids but with emergency hours the local stores are already closed til morning. Maybe you could-" He was interrupted by a sound of screeching tires, and then the sight of Billy's badly damaged car racing directly towards the police station.

"What is that about!?" Velma wondered.

Billy swerved to a stop directly next to the deputy's cruiser, and both he and Peggy leapt from the car, shouting for help. "He's back!" Billy screamed.

Suspecting alcohol, but also recognizing Billy from the football team, the deputy simply asked "What's going on here kids? Who's back?"

"The Mothman!" Both teens exclaimed.

"M M M Mothman!?" Scooby shivered in fear.

"Hold on, who or what is a Mothman!?" Scootaloo demanded.

"It sounds like a lame superhero." Velma mused.

"Oh I wish!" Peggy said.

The deputy explained, "The Mothman is a local monster story from the 1960's."

"Monster!? All right! We've got a mystery!" Scootaloo cheered.

"Right." Freddy agreed, pointedly ignoring Shaggy and Scooby's fearful whimpering. "Okay gang, here's what we'll do-"

He was interrupted by Hollister who said, "What you kids will do is go up to your friend's cabin where you're properly distanced from everyone else and stay there."

"Oh. Right. Of course officer." Freddy replied.

The deputy gave him a suspicious look, then just shook his head. "Good. Okay Billy, Peggy, come with me I'll fill out a report." The couple followed him into the police station.

"Like Freddy please tell me, just this once, we'll do as we're told." Shaggy pleaded.

"Reah!" Scooby agreed.

"Sorry Shaggy, but a mystery calls and we must answer." Velma said. "So what's the plan Freddy?"

Everyone huddled together and Freddy began, "All right. Apple Bloom and I will take a closer look at the roof of Billy's car, see if there are any clues. Daphne, Velma, I want the two of you to go online and research this so called 'Mothman.' Shaggy, Scooby, you two head out to the TNT Area and search for more clues."

"What about us?" Scootaloo asked, motioning to Sweetie Belle.

"You two have a very important job. Since ponies can't get covid, I need you to go around town and talk to anyone willing to. See if anyone else has had any run-ins with our monster, and keep a close watch for anyone acting suspiciously."

"You got it Freddy!" Sweetie Belle cheered.

"Okay gang, let's do this!"

XXXXX

Daphne and Velma quickly discovered that Mystery Machine's internet connection wasn't getting any bars. "Well drats." Velma sighed. "I wonder where there's unsecured wi-fi around here?"

"Let's see if there are any open restaurants." Daphne suggested.

It had seemed like a stretch, given current events in the world, but the two girls needed less than fifteen minutes to find an all-night diner that was still open, and was sporting an impressive number of customers. They found a corner booth, as far from the other patrons as possible, and went online after ordering coffee from a waitress named 'Flo' and getting the wifi password. When Velma typed in 'Mothman' the first result was a Wikipedia article, and a series of 'artists renderings' of the creature.

"Oh it's horrible!" Daphne said looking at the images.

Velma scoffed. "We've seen worse."

"Well yeah but still." Daphne insisted. "What's the article say?"

Velma clicked on the link. According to the article, the Mothman had first been reported in 1966, and made numerous appearances over the following year. It was said to be a massive humanoid, covered in grey fur or feathers, with ten foot long wings and glowing red eyes the size of dinner plates. It was also said to be a portent of doom: The sightings in Point Pleasant in the 1960's stopped after the collapse of a bridge that killed forty six people. "And look at this!" Velma said, "Mothman was also reported in Russia in 1999, just before an apartment building collapsed and killed over three hundred."

"Gosh, I hope nothing bad is going to happen to this town again!" Daphne said.

Just then, Flo returned with their coffee. "What are you two up to anyway?" She asked.

"We're just researching the Mothman miss." Velma answered.

Flo's expressing changed from a smile to an angry grimace. "You girls let that go!" She hissed. "Nothing good can come of that cursed beast! He's been gone for over fifty years, let it go!"

"I guess you haven't heard yet ma'am, but the Mothman is back." Daphne said. "Two of your local teens saw it just an hour ago."

"What!?" Flo gasped. "Evil times are upon us! Leave town now, while you still can!" She said, and hurried away, vanishing into the kitchen.

"That was weird." Daphne said. "So now what?"

Velma leaned back and took a sip from her drink. "We've confirmed that there really is a Mothman legend. and also what it's supposed to look like. Now we finish our coffee then report back to Freddy."

"Oh good, this'll give me a chance to check my e mails and news feeds." Daphne said and pulled the laptop in front of her.

While Daphne worked, Velma people watched. She took note of the fact that Flo never returned, and was curious but didn't really think all that much of it. At one point a deputy, not the one they had met before, came in and got into an argument with the staff about the number of people present, then left in a huff. For the most part, the townsfolk seemed normal and no one was arousing her suspicions in any way. Just as she was finishing her cup, she heard Daphne giggle. "What's so funny?"

"This news story!" Daphne said. "It seems that in Indonesia the government is worried about people not distancing, so they came up with the most absurd way to try to make them do it. See, they-" Daphne was interrupted before she could explain by the front door of the diner slamming open as the Mothman barged in. "Jeepers! He is real!" Daphne exclaimed jumping to her feet along with Velma. The rest of the patrons were by now screaming and running, but the Mothman was ignoring most of them, coming straight down the aisle.

"It's coming right for us! Daphne, Run!" Velma yelled.

They fled through the kitchen, with the Mothman close on their heels. Daphne found a back door and they were out into the night. Screams of terrified townsfolk running away in all directions still filled the air, as most people still hadn't looked back to see that the monster wasn't chasing them. They ran down a narrow alley behind the diner, then across the town's main street, horns blaring from traffic, only to fall silent when the drivers saw what they were running from. As in the diner there were more people out than would have been expected, but the Mothman was interested in any of them: It just kept coming after Daphne and Velma.

"Why's he so interested in us!?" Daphne wondered.

"I'm sure I don't know." Velma answered, "But it's clear we're not losing him on our own. Let's head back to the others!" They ran on, searching for the way back to where Freddy and Apple Bloom would be waiting...

XXXXX

And speaking of Freddy and Apple Bloom, as soon as everyone else was gone they had set to work examining Billy's car. Freddy used the passenger side door frame as a step to get higher and look over the roof of the car, Apple Bloom joining in by just jumping onto the rook by way of the trunk. Atop the car were two identically sized indentations, each about fifteen inches long by five inches wide by four inches deep. They were shaped roughly like giant claw prints.

"Boy howdy!" 'Bloom exclaimed, "I dunno if'n it was some 'Mothman' or not, but somethin' sure came after them two!"

Freddy agreed: "No kidding! This is crazy!" He leaning in closer to the prints, marveling at how deep they were. "Does this look like the prints of any creature you're familiar with?"

"Eh, kinda shaped like an Ursa's print, but way too small O' course..." Apple Bloom leaned in closer. "Hay! Take a look at this, there's somethin stuck in one of the claw marks!" Freddy looked, and there was indeed something not metal embedded deep in the point of where one of the claws had been.

"Looks like our Mothman lost a toe nail." Freddy said.

"Clue?" 'Bloom grinned.

"Clue." Freddy agreed. "Let's try to dig it out." He returned to Mystery Machine and dug about in a tool box before returning with pliers and metal cutters.

Before they could start working on extracting the nail, though, a voice called out "What are you doing!?" Freddy and 'Bloom looked to see Billy and Peggy returning. "I'll ask again... What are you doing to my car?"

Freddy rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "Gosh I'm sorry... My friends and I solve mysteries like this, and we've found a clue stuck in the roof of your car."

"Clue nothin'! You stay away from my baby! It'll be hard enough fixin' her as it is!"

"Oh come on Billy, you'll have to take the roof off and replace it anyway!" Peggy sighed, "If they think they can put a stop to that horrible thing let 'em!"

"No way no how they're not touchin' my car!" Billy exploded, then angrily jumped into the driver's seat (Apple Bloom seeing what was coming and jumping down,) and sped away leaving Peggy behind.

"Wow. What a jerk!" Apple Bloom said.

Peggy shook her head. "He's... Not normally like that. I think he just got the first real scare of his life and he doesn't know how to handle it... Do you really think you can figure out why the Mothman is back?"

"That's the plan miss." Freddy confirmed, "Though, I'm not sure how yet. It's really too bad Billy drove off with such an important clue."

"Y'all mean this clue?" 'Bloom smirked as she held out the claw in one hoof.

"You got it! But how!?"

"Ahh, he was so focused on you when he was yellin', he didn't even see me cut a square of metal off the roof around the claw. Truth is, I feel a little bad for being under-hooved like that, but like the lady here said he'll have t' replace it anyway so no harm done. And there's one clue in the basket!"

Freddy said "One for sure, maybe two... If Billy really was acting out of character, that might be a clue too."

"Oh, you can't think Billy is involved in it somehow can you?" Peggy asked.

"It's too early to say, I reckon." 'Bloom replied. She passed the claw to Freddy who examined it closely.

"Hmmm... I can't really tell anything from looking. We'll need Velma to give this a once over when she and Daphne get back." Freddy walked to the back of the van, intending to put the tools back, but when he opened the back doors he let out a yell and stumbled back as the Mothman stepped out of the van.

"How'd he fit in there!?" Apple Bloom wondered, eyes wide.

"Worry about that later!" Freddy yelled, "For now let's get out of here!"

Apple Bloom started to run, then stopped as she saw what was coming. "Freddy! We've got a problem over here!"

Freddy looked and went pale at what 'Bloom had already seen...

XXXXX

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle walked side by side through the streets of Point Pleasant as they tried to figure out how to proceed. Finding locals willing to talk to them had proved easy. Locals who actually knew anything, however, were in short supply:

"Mothman!? I don't believe in that nonsense!"

"He's back!? I gotta hide!"

"Don't know nothin' bout the Moth, but I did see Bigfoot and Nessie playin' chess once!"

"Yeah, right, the dog with you talks too."

And so forth and so on...

"I don't get it Sweetie..." Scootaloo complained, "This is supposed to be the big local monster. You'd think someone'd know something!"

"Maybe we're doing this wrong." Sweetie Belle mused.

"How?"

"Well... The Mothman is probably going to turn out to be a guy in a rubber suit right?"

"Right..."

"And guys in rubber suits are usually up to no good, right?"

Scootaloo understood. "Riiiiight.... We shouldn't be talking to everyone, we should just be watching for someone acting suspicious and then following them! Good thinking Sweetie Belle!" She looked about carefully. "So who looks suspicious?"

"What about the guy who said he saw Bighoof?"

"Bigfoot." Scootaloo corrected. "And I think he was just crazy."

"Yeah Probably." Sweetie Belle agreed. She looked all around again, and said "Well what about that guy then?" Pointing to a fiftyish man who was just turning to walk down a dark narrow alleyway.

"Works for me. Let's go!" Scootaloo agreed.

The ponies followed. They trotted quickly to the alley and carefully peaked around the corner. The man was still there, and hadn't noticed them, continuing to walk away down the alley. As slowly as they could, to avoid their hooves making too much noise, they pursued. After perhaps two minutes, the man stopped in front of a door on the back wall of a three story building. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle ducked behind a trash can as he looked in their direction. Luckily, he still didn't seem to have seen them, and pulled out a set of keys, unlocking the door and stepping inside.

"Come on!" Scootaloo whispered, and they crept up to the door, which the man had not locked behind him. From inside, they heard the sound of two voices. The voices weren't raised, but there was certainly a quality that suggested a disagreement. Scootaloo couldn't make out exactly what was being discussed, and after a few moments the voices got quieter, moving away but still talking. The Crusaders slipped through the open door. The first room was empty. "Look for clues." Scootaloo whispered.

The room in which they had found themselves appeared to be a storeroom. There were shelves lining the walls everywhere save for the doors, of which there were three: The outer door, an inner door directly across from the outer door, and the third on a side wall. They spent several minutes searching the storeroom, but finding nothing there Scootaloo tried the inner doors. The first was locked, but the second opened into a small office. There was a large old wooden desk, three chairs, and bookshelves on the walls. Sweetie Belle jumped up on top of the desk while Scootaloo looked over the shelves, and after a moment Sweetie began to giggle. "What?" Scootaloo asked.

Sweetie Belle held up a sheet of paper, clearly a computer print out off of the web. "This story is funny! It sounds like the kind of thing we'd get involved in!"

"Huh?" Scootaloo trotted over, taking the page and beginning to read: "Indonesia: In an attempt to make villagers socially distance, the government has taken to paying volunteers to-" Before the filly could get any further, a door across from the one they had entered through slammed open, and the Mothman barged in.

"Hoof it!" Scootaloo screamed, and the fillies were off with the monster close behind. They ran back outside, and down the alley. At first, while they were still in the alley, the monster had to chase on foot and was falling further and further behind. But when they reached the end of the alley and turned down main street, the creature had room to spread it's wings and took to the air. "Oh come on! Am I the only thing with wings that can't fly!?" Scootaloo complained.

On the wing, Mothman was much faster than on foot, and it was gaining on them. "I'm open to suggestions!" Sweetie Belle said.

Looking ahead, frantically hoping for something they could use, Scootaloo saw an abandoned skateboard. "Take a page from that movie we watched last week!" She said, and jumped on the board. Sweetie Belled jumped on too, and they worked together to skate out into the street, where Scootaloo grabbed the bumper of a passing car.

Luckily, the car was accelerating, and they were soon equaling the Mothman's speed, though it still wasn't giving up. "Now what!?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"We're going the right way to get back to Freddy and Apple Bloom!" Scootaloo answered, "Hopefully he'll give up before we get there!"

"And if he doesn't?"

".... Yeah I got nothin.'"

XXXXX

Shaggy and Scooby approached the TNT Area with trepidation. The old munitions storage facility had been abandoned for the better part of a century, and trees had grown up into a forest, dark boughs overhanging the dome shaped storage buildings that dotted the landscape. And own hooted softly. "Like man o man, Scoob, I've seen creepy and I've seen creepy, but this place is creeeeepy..."

"Reah! Reepy!" The dog agreed.

Shaggy sighed. "Okay, we've gotta do this I guess. But this is a big place! Where do we even start?"

"Ritchen!" Scooby said.

"Oh Scooby there's not gonna be a kitchen out here!" Shaggy thought for a moment. "Then again, this did used to be an army base, they must've had a galley or a mess hall or a PX or something! Come on!"

Exploring the ruins in search of food, praying to not find what they were actually supposed to searching for instead, the duo soon came to a concrete structure with a heavily rusted metal door standing open. Blackness pooled beyond the door, and on the wall above the door were the faded remnants of a long ago removed sign, the letters still visible where the concrete was a lighter shade where they had been: 'Mess Hall.' "In there?" Scooby asked, teeth chattering.

"Afraid so Scoob. They don't make outdoor mess halls." Shaggy answered. He shined his flashlight through the door, relieved when nothing horrible rushed out at them. "Like okay Scoob, let's see if anything got left behind."

"Oh boy oh boy oh boy!" Scooby chanted, licking his lips.

The pair carefully made their way into the long abandoned mess hall. It was, of course, pitch black save for Shaggy's flashlight, but as the beatnik swung the beam about, they saw that very little had been left when the facility was abandoned: There were no tables, no chairs, no flyers hanging from the walls. Numerous doors led further into the underground facility, but Shaggy saw his light reflecting off of something metal through one door and investigated, finding a 1960's era industrial refrigerator, long out of service.

"Fridge! Fridge!" Scooby cheered, only to be disappointed when it was empty. "Aw shucks."

"Like tell me about it." Shaggy agreed, "the cupboards are bare too."

"Rook! Pantry!" Scooby said, pointing to another door. But when they looked, they found that while the pantry was long since devoid of food, it was not empty: A long folding table was set up in the center of the room, and there were clothes and bolts of fabrics and electronic components scattered all over the tabletop.

"Rhaggy? Is this a Rue?"

"Like Scooby ol' pal it's gotta be..." Shaggy agreed. "I mean look, this stuff is all brand new!"

"Re should go tell Freddy and Relma!" Scooby said, eager to get out of the dark scary place.

"Yeah we will, just lemme take a closer look first. You'll know they'll ask if we did." Shaggy began searching through the items atop the table. After a couple of seconds, a red light began to shine from behind him. "Like Scooby turn off the red filtered light, I can't tell what color this stuff is!"

"Not me." Scooby said, holding up his light which was still turned off.

"But like if it's not me... And it's not you..." Shaggy gulped, "Then who..." Man and dog turned, to discover that the red light was coming from the Mothman's glowing eyes. The creature loomed over them, reaching forward with raised wings as if to grab them, and roared. Shaggy's hair stood on end as he exclaimed "Zoinks! It's the Mothman! Run!"

"I am I am!" Scooby said, though for a moment he was just standing in one place, his legs going as fast as they could, until he suddenly seemed to find purchase and was off like a shot. As he went, he bowled over Shaggy who was flipped into the air and came down landing on Scooby's back, riding the Great Dane like a horse as Scooby fled back outside, and bee lining for town as fast as he could go. Neither of them dared to look back, knowing that the monster had to be right there...

XXXXX

What Apple Bloom saw first, that Freddy was now staring at in shock, was a second Mothman approaching from what would have been their escape route. Freddy, 'Bloom, and Peggy backed up against the wall of a nearby building as the monsters approached. Then, with a sudden shout of "Cowabunga!" Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle arrived, riding on the skateboard they had commandeered, Scootaloo letting go of the car she had been using for speed and hitting an incline just right to catch air, sailing over the head of one of the monsters and landing directly in front of Freddy.

Then with a scream of "Gangway!" Shaggy and Scooby also arrived, Shaggy still riding on Scooby's back, and they were followed mere moments later by Daphne and Velma. Which might have been a good thing, reinforcements and all, were it not of course for the fact that there were now five of the monsters surrounding the gang.

"Jinkies! It's not Mothman, it's Mothmen!" Velma exclaimed.

The Mothmen crept slowly closer. "Like gang I think this may be it!" Shaggy said.

"I'm open for any ideas at all." Velma agreed.

Apple Bloom looked all around for any opportunities to escape. And then she saw it. "Let's all take a page from Shaggy and Scooby's playbook!" She said, "This way!" 'Bloom ran for a nearby doorway the others had overlooked.

"Now what?" Daphne asked once they were all inside.

"Now we've got work t' do, and I mean quick!" 'Bloom answered...

Thirty seconds later, the Mothmen broke down the door and stepped through... Into a softly lit gourmet restaurant. Maitre D Scootaloo greeted them ("Welcome to The Holey Sock!") and clapped her hooves, summoning a quintet of well dressed waiters (Freddy, Shaggy, Daphne, Velma and Scooby) who approached and ushered the monsters into the dining room and shoved them down into chairs. Then Chef Sweetie Belle came to the table. "Ah Monsieur Mothmen! Welcome!" She said in a decent approximation of a French accent, "Might I suggest you start with a Christmas scarf appetizer, followed by a main course of thick wool sweater sprinkled with just enough mothball to make it spicy?"

And even though it would, of course, prove to be men in suits eventually, the Mothmen responded as 'monsters' always do when Shaggy and Scooby pull this kind of con, that is to say, as if they really were monsters, mouths watering at the thought of meals made of clothes as if they were really giant moths. Indeed, they even ate the clothes provided, scarfs and sweaters alike.

The Apple Bloom, posing as the 'Dessert Chef,' came to the table. "All right y'all! You got room for dessert?"

The Mothmen nodded enthusiastically.

"That's great! 'Cause just for today I've whipped up the greatest dish a Mothman could ever hope t' taste! The world's largest ball of yarn, dusted with cinnamon and sugar! You want some?" The five Mothmen were practically jumping in their seats. "All righty then! Gang? Let 'em have it!"

'Bloom then jumped down to the floor out of the way as Freddy and Daphne struck, carrying in a giant yarn ball and then, each holding a different end of the yarn, wrapping the monsters up firmly stuck to their seats. As this happened, the Mothmen suddenly realized they had been tricked and began roaring and struggling mightily to free themselves, and though they were well trapped for now it became clear that they would get free in short order. The gang fled, leaving the creatures behind...

XXXXX

After escaping, the gang escorted a grateful Peggy home, then gathered in what they hoped was an isolated location to compare notes. Freddy and Apple Bloom gave Velma the claw and spoke of Billy's odd behavior, Shaggy and Scooby told of the table loaded with modern supplies, Velma and Daphne discussed both what they found online and also Flo's strange reaction, and Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle talked about the suspicious man but didn't mention the print-out Sweetie Belle had found, not considering it a clue.

"So what do you think Velma?" Freddy asked as she examined the claw.

"Interesting... It's not a claw of any animal known to science. But, I suspect the real clue is what's stuck to it." She pointed to the wide back end of the claw, where several strands of a dark blue fabric were sticking to it.

"That's cloth fabric from clothes!" Daphne said.

"Mm-hmm." Velma agreed, "But on the wrong end from where they should have gotten stuck if the Mothman had clawed someone. Curious."

"What about our suspects?" Scootaloo asked, "Billy and the waitress and the weird guy Sweetie and me saw?"

"There's nothing to rule any of them out yet." Freddy said. "Of course we don't know who the man was, but some of us should probably stake out Billy and Flo."

"While I take this claw back to the Mystery Machine and analyze it." Velma agreed.

They made plans for who would keep on an eye on which suspect, but as they started to break up and go to their assignments there was a sudden burst of noise and flash of lights as a police car pulled up, shining a spotlight on them. Two officers got out of the car. One was Deputy Hollister. The other they didn't recognize, though Hollister quickly introduced him as Sheriff Taylor.

"Aren't you kids supposed to be at a cabin by now?" Hollister asked.

"And can your excuses! There's a pandemic on! You need to be isolated!" The Sheriff added.

"We really are sorry Sheriff, and we really are on our way." Daphne lied, "We just need to get some food for the night."

"We've been looking all over town!" Sweetie Belle added.

"Well stop. You won't starve in one night. Get out of here before I arrest the lot of you!" Tyler demanded.

"Like okay, we're going. We just need to get back to our van and we're gone." Shaggy said.

"Reah! Van!" Scooby confirmed.

Tyler stared at the dog for a full minute, then nodded. "Okay, I'll give you one last chance since I don't want to be the jerk. Now get walking. Hollister and I will follow you in the car, both to your van and out of town. And I'd better not see any of you again until the stores open at eight in the morning!"

So the entire gang started marching back towards where they had left Mystery Machine parked, the patrol car following about a hundred feet behind. As they walked, Sweetie Belle said "What a jerk. I can't believe he has a sense of humor."

"Huh? What do you mean?" Scootaloo asked.

"You didn't recognize the voice?" Sweetie asked, "The Sheriff was one of the voices we heard arguing in that building!"

"Sweetie are you sure? I mean, really sure?" Daphne asked.

"Positive."

"Rhat about the sense of rumor?" Scooby asked.

"Oh, just this print out I found in what I guess was his office." Sweetie Belle said, holding out the paper.

Velma took the paper and read it, recognizing it as another story on the same events as the story Daphne had found just before the Mothman attacked the diner. Her eyes narrowed as she looked back and forth between the paper and the claw.

Not noticing Velma's behavior, Freddy said "Well this doesn't really change our plan. We'll just have to sneak back into town on foot. What do you think Velma, it shouldn't be too hard to get back in to watch Billy and Flo, right?" When Velma didn't answer, he asked again, and, still getting no answer, "...Velma?"

"Of course..." Velma whispered.

"Of course what?" Apple Bloom wondered.

Velma said "Guys, forget Billy and Flo, there's no need to watch them. I know exactly who the Mothmen are, and why."

"You do!?" Everyone exclaimed.

"Yep. And now all we need is a trap!"

Freddy cheered.

XXXXX

It was two hours later. The Sheriff had made good on his promise to follow them out of town and, in fact, all the way to the cabin. Fortunately, he hadn't stayed for long, allowing the gang to gather the supplies they needed for the trap and make their way back into town on foot. They didn't stay in the town itself, though, but passed all the way through and back out to the TNT Area to lay the trap.

The layout of the trap was a typical Freddy design: The bait team would gather up all five Mothmen and get them to give chase, leading them in. The monsters would be guided underground through the same mess hall door Shaggy and Scooby had found earlier in the night. Once underground, though, they would be confused by a number of minor alterations the gang had made, i.e. closing and opening different doors and using plywood sheets found on site to create a maze that wasn't all that complicated in absolute terms but would be a nightmare in the utter darkness. (The bait team would escape through a hidden hatch just around the first corner.) In their confusion, the plan went, the Mothmen would panic, all go different ways, and end up crashing into each other at a specific point, where Daphne and Velma would be waiting to drop steel chains around them.

There was just one problem: "I don't think I wanna be on the bait team for this one." Scootaloo said.

"But why!?" Freddy asked, "You usually love that job!"

"Yeah, but these things can fly really fast. It's embarrassing that I can't."

"Aw Scoots." Daphne said.

"Hang on, we got this." Apple Bloom said, then looked at Sweetie Belle. Both fillies were smirking as Sweetie's horn glowed and a box lifted up out of her saddlebags. It was a box of Scootaloo's favorite cereal, but modified with cut out's of letters and a picture of Scootaloo glued to the front. Sweetie Belle shook the box as 'Bloom said "Will y'all do for a Scooti-Snack?"

Scootaloo stared angrily at her friends, but as their composure shattered and they began to laugh, she couldn't stay mad and joined in the laughter. "Ugh... How long have you been carrying that around waiting for a chance?"

"About two weeks." Sweetie Belle admitted.

"Okay okay... Let's do this."

XXXXX

Shaggy, Scooby and Scootaloo (You expected the bait team to be someone else? For shame.) returned to town. As they were the bait, they weren't even trying to sneak in, but just walked in boldly, having a loud rambling conversation. "So that's when I said, 'Look man, if I want a slice of three meat pizza with pickles and sauerkraut on a hamburger bun then that's what I want!" Shaggy finished a story.

"That's horrid Shaggy." Scootaloo said.

"Like I know, right? The customer is always right! How dare he tell me no when it comes to food!"

"Yeah, that wasn't what I meant..." Scootaloo shook her head. "So, I'm afraid to ask but how did it taste?"

"Relicious!" Scooby answered.

They arrived at the town square. Whether it was the later hour, or the threat of Mothmen, who can say, but it was now deserted. "Like no one in sight." Shaggy said. "I guess it's time to engage the universe's sense of irony. Scoob, you wanna do the honors?"

"Uh-uh, rot me!"

"I got this." Scootaloo said, and then in a loud clear voice made the following statement: "Gosh! I sure am glad those awful Mothmen aren't around! That would just be the worst!" And as soon as she finished, there were roars as the monsters appeared from various side streets and ran right for the trio.

"Zoinks! It worked!" Shaggy cried out, and then they were on the run. Now, as anyone familiar with the exploits of Mystery Inc. can attest, Shaggy and Scooby are fast. Scootaloo too, of course, but the Mothmen were faster in the air and none of the bait team could fly. They had a plan for that. As they ran, Shaggy and Scooby managed to slip on roller skates, while Scootaloo jumped aboard the skateboard she found before and threw them lines, then revved up her wings to maximum power and they were off at incredible speed.

As they reached the edge of town, a patrol car pulled up alongside, lights flashing. "What are you doing back in town!?" Deputy Hollister demanded.

Scootaloo grabbed hold of his driver's door. "Gun it!"

"What!?"

"Like look in your mirror dude!" Shaggy exclaimed.

Hollister did, and saw the Mothmen flying close behind. "Criminey! They're real!" He shouted and slammed his foot down on the gas pedal.

"Get us to the TNT Area! We have a plan!" Scootaloo told him. The deputy only nodded. It took less than two minutes to get there. At a particular curve in the road, Scootaloo let go of the car and the trio continued on straight while Hollister curved away, braking to a stop when he saw that the monsters were all following them. The bait team reached the door in seconds and rushed into the darkness below.

But this wouldn't be a Mystery Inc. trap if nothing went wrong now would it? As they rushed down the sloping ramp just past the door, Shaggy tripped and fell forward, catching Scootaloo and Scooby up into a ball rolling down, and right past their escape hatch. By the time they were back on their feet it was too late to go back, as the Mothmen were already in the tunnels behind them. "Scatter!" Scootaloo yelled, and they did just that. In the blinding darkness it was all but impossible to tell where they were going though, and monsters were right on their heels.

And with everyone going different directions, it was only a matter of time before out trio ended up in exactly the place the Mothmen were supposed to end up, running into each other all at once, and getting the chains dropped down over them. "Oh no!" Daphne exclaimed when she realized the mistake. "Now what!?"

Happily, the 'now what' turned out to be the Mothmen tripping over the bound bait team and going down hard, slamming into a wall where they were knocked silly. "Hmmm... Not what we planned, but still a win." Velma mused. "Come on Freddy, let's tie them up before they come to their senses..."

XXXXX

Thirty minutes later. Shaggy, Scooby and Scootaloo had been untied, and the now firmly bound Mothmen dragged out of the underground and propped against a wall just outside the door. Deputy Hollister had arrived as well, and looked at the monsters with confusion and just a little awe at the gang having successfully captured them. "So what in the blazes is this all about!?" he asked.

"Well sir, we suspected that Billy, or that waitress Flo had something to do with it at first." Scootaloo said. "Since they both acted weird."

"I coulda told you better than that." Hollister said. "Flo's just into weird stuff, takes curses and monsters and the like seriously... And since Billy's her grandson she put a lot of superstition into him too But who is it under the masks?"

"Some friends of yours." Freddy said, and then they pulled off the masks, revealing Sheriff Taylor and four of Hollister's fellow deputies.

"Sheriff!? But why!?"

"Our first real clue was this Mothman claw that got stuck in Billy's car." Apple Bloom said, "Or rather these dark blue threads stuck to it... The exact same dark blue as y'all's uniforms."

"And this is why they did it." Velma said, holding up the print-out news story.

Sweetie Belle explained "It's a story from another country. The government in Indonesia was worried about covid, but couldn't get villagers to isolate themselves. So they hired actors to dress up as monsters from local folklore to terrify them into staying in their homes!"

"And like when the state came down on the Sheriff to get people here to do the same, he decided to use the Mothman legend in the same way!" Shaggy said.

"And it would have worked, if it weren't for you meddling kids!" The Sheriff groused.

In the aftermath, things were complicated. Strictly speaking, the Sheriff and his men hadn't committed any crimes, but they had scared so many people there was bound to be hell to pay. They were turned loose and went to their homes, the Sheriff placing Hollister in temporary command. "That's why I didn't bring you in on it." He explained, "You're the best man I've got, I wanted you clear in case things went badly."

As for the gang, as word got out that they had stopped the 'monsters,' a store owner came to reward them by opening his store for them to shop free before they went out to the cabin. He had no idea how much this would cost him, Shaggy and Scooby loading a dozen rounded over carts each, leaving the poor man to gape in horror...

Author's Note

That Indonesian news story is a real thing. The first thought through my head when I heard it was "Am I living in a Scooby episode now!?"

Enormous Escargo Escapades!

We open this tale on a small farmhouse in the French wine country, just after sunset. As we peer through the windows of the house, we see a widowed farmer, Pierre, and his five year old son Jean Luc, eating dinner together. But a calm happy family meal is disrupted when Pierre looks at his son's plate, and sees something shocking:

"Eh? What is this!?" Pierre exclaims, "Jean Luc, why have you not eaten your escargot? It is delicious, no?"

"No!" The boy replies, throwing down his fork, "It is slimy, disgusting, and made of snails!* I do not wish to eat the escargot Father!"

Pierre sighs inwardly, and says "But Jean Luc! You must eat your escargot! Or Lou Carcolth will come!"

"Lou... Who?" Jean Luc replies in confusion.

"You mean you have never heard!? Lou Carcolth is a giant and monstrous snail! He knows which little children have eaten their escargot! And... Which... Have... Not."

"Do you mean... Is it like, how Santa Claus knows which children have been naughty, and which have been nice?" The boy asks, trying to follow the concept.

Pierre nods his head in affirmation. "Yes indeed! It is exactly the same! Except... For one, terrible, difference... For you see, if you do not eat your escargot, Lou Carcolth will come, and he will.... He will..." Here Pierre began to pretend he was horrified by what he had been about to say, "No! No I will not speak the words! It is just too terrible!"

"What Father?" Jean Luc asks, riveted by Pierre's performance, "What will Lou do?"

Pierre sighs again, openly this time. "Jean Luc. If you do not eat your escargot, Lou Carcolth will eat-" (Here he stands up straight and points at his son,) "...YOU!!"

"Sacre-bleu! No!" Jean Luc exclaims, and quickly begins to choke down the escargot on his plate, as well as on Pierre's plate too...

XXXXX

An hour later. With Jean Luc tucked safely in bed, Pierre is in the kitchen washing dishes. "Foolish child, as all children are..." He thought to himself. "He fell for it just as I did at his age! So now my boy will eat well and grow big and strong! And best of all, I will never have to eat the disgusting snails again, heh heh..."

Moments later, a knock sounded at the front door. "Eh? Who could it be at this late hour?" Pierre wondered. Drying his hands on a towel, he headed for the front door, the knock impatiently repeating twice more before he could get there despite the small size of the house. "Yes, yes! I am coming, I am co-" Here Pierre opened the door. And looked up. And up. And up...

"I got a report of a guy named Pierre, what didn't eat his escargot..." Said Lou Carcolth...

XXXXX

Elsewhere in the wine country, we find Mystery Machine, driving along winding narrow country roads. "Oh this is just so romantic, being in France!" Daphne gushed.

"I dunno... It just looks like another lonely countryside to me." Apple Bloom replied, looking out the passenger side window. "At least that Paris place was busy and exciting."

"And, like, filled with delicious French food!" Shaggy said.

"Philistines all of you." Daphne grumped.

Scootaloo shook her head. "Oh come on Daphne! We get that you love it here! It's just not our thing! Right Scooby?"

"Speak for yourself Rootaroo." Scooby answered, "I, for one, am in rove!"

"Oh Scooby really? With who?" Daphne asked.

The great dane pulled out a six foot long baguette, which he had sliced down the middle long ways and turned into a massive sandwich. "Rench-style Ragwood sandwich!" He said, hugging the sandwich while muttering about it being his "Rrecious" and then gobbled it all down in one bite while Daphne grumped again, and everyone else laughed.

"Huh... What's this?" Freddy wondered from the driver's seat. Up ahead, alongside the road, they could see a building.

Velma said "Freddy according the the map there shouldn't be anything on our path for miles yet. Have you gotten us lost again?"

"Like big surprise... GPS and Freddy still gets lost constantly." Shaggy said.

Scootaloo said "That may be our fault Shaggy. I overheard Velma talking about pony magic throwing those things off."

"It's not your fault Scoots. Just one of those things." Velma answered.

As they drove closer to the building, they were able to read a sign in French, which Daphne translated as it being a pub. "Maybe we can get directions!" She suggested, so Freddy pulled the van into the parking lot and everyone piled out and walked single-file into the pub. The first thing the gang noted was a distinct lack of customers; Though there was room for nearly a hundred patrons, fewer than a dozen were present. The second thing they noted were two men, one behind the bar, the other in front, arguing animatedly with each other in French.

"The man behind the bar is the owner." Daphne translated in whispers. 'The other fellow wants to buy the bar, and insists he's doing the owner a favor, but the owner isn't having it."

The argument soon escalated into shouting, and the would-be buyer finally threw up his arms and stormed out in a huff. "That... Seemed like more than a business disagreement." Velma mused.

"Agreed, but I don't think it's any of our business." Freddy said. "I'll just ask directions." He approached the owner and attempted to speak to him in French, "Pardonnez-moi, mais mon aeroglisseur est rempli d'anguilles et je ne peux pas les manger sans moutarde?"

The owner stared at Freddy in confusion until Daphne sighed and said "You'd better let me handle this. I actually know the language..."

At this the owner laughed and said "Or we could just converse in English. I do know the language after all."

"Like great! We're lost Mister Pub Owner dude sir, and need directions!" Shaggy said.

"Rand food!" Scooby added.

"Sacre-bleu!" The owner jumped back from the talking dog.

Apple Bloom said "Aw shucks, that's just Scooby! He's okay!"

Relaxing at the comparative normalcy of a talking pony, the man asked where they were going, and quickly gave directions. But before the gang could leave, the front door burst open, admitting a crying Jean Luc calling out to the owner "Uncle Francois! Uncle Francois!"

Worry crossed the man's face. "Jean Luc!? Why are you here at such an hour? Where is your father?"

"Oh Uncle it is awful! My papa was taken... By Lou Carcolth!"

At this the silence in the pub was palpable as every patron was staring at the boy in shock and fear. "Excuse me sir, but who is this 'Lou' guy?" Scootaloo asked.

"Lou Carcolth is not a who but a what!" Francois explained, "A giant monster snail! We had thought he was a myth, but for the last two weeks he has been showing up all over this area attacking people who do not eat enough escargot!"

At these words, Shaggy and Scooby zipped into seats at the bar and Shaggy called out "Like two servings of escargot please!"

"Rand give them wings!" Scooby added.

Daphne strolled over to the duo and whispered in Shaggy's ear for a moment, after which he exclaimed "Like it's made of what!? Oh the things I do to stay safe from monsters..."

"What's it made from Rhaggy?"

"Like ol' buddy ol' pal ol' friend... You, like, do not want to know..." Shaggy was beginning to turn green.

Meanwhile Freddy, having helped to reassure Jean Luc that his father would be fine, stood and said "Okay gang! We've got a mystery to solve!"

Shaggy asked "Like Freddy do we have to?"

"Come on Shaggy! It's a snail! It'll be really slow!" Scootaloo said. "I bet you could just walk and get away from it!"

"Like hey yeah! That's right! Hey Scoob, finally a monster we don't have to be afraid of!"

"Reah!"

"Like okay, we're in. So what's the plan Freddy?"

Freddy began to lay out his plan: "Okay, Velma? I want you and Sweetie Belle to go check for clues at Jean Luc's house. And I couldn't help but notice how all the customers here reacted when Jean Luc said the name, so Daphne, Apple Bloom, and I will stay here and try talking to them to see what else we can learn."

"What about us?" Scootaloo asked.

"It's suspicious that the monster attacks people who don't eat escargot. So you, Shaggy and Scooby will go snoop around the local snail producers for anything unusual." Freddy explained.

"Alrighty then! Let's get this here show on the road!" Apple Bloom cheered, and the groups went thier separate ways...

XXXXX

Velma and Sweetie Belle cautiously approached the farmhouse from the back, alert for any signs of danger but detecting nothing. They reached the back patio, and Velma produced the key Jean Luc had let her borrow and opened the door, allowing them both to slip inside. Velma closed and locked the door behind her.

"Maybe we should call out." Sweetie whispered. "I mean, what if Jean Luc just had a bad dream and his dad is here in bed asleep?"

"I doubt it..." Velma answered. "I mean, at his age, his dad's bed is the first place he'd run after a bad dream. Besides, I don't want to let anyone bad know we're here if this isn't a wild goose chase. After all, even if Jean Luc's experience was just a dream, there is still a mystery here with all the other people who've seen the monster."

Sweetie pondered that for a moment. "That makes sense. So, all the curtains are pulled, can we risk a little light?" Velma nodded yes, and the unicorn lit a faint glow from the tip of her horn.

They were in a kitchen. Water stood in the sink, which was still half full of unwashed dishes but nothing else was out of place.

"Indicative." Velma muttered, looking at the unwashed pots and pans.

"Yeah, thanks to being friends with 'Bloom even I know that! A farm family would never put off chores." Sweetie agreed.

"Let's check out the rest of the house..."

The search didn't take long. The open kitchen door led into a dining room, then the path looped around to a long narrow hallway. The first door served a washroom, the second a closet. Number three was clearly Jean Luc's room, and at the end of the hall was the father Pierre's room. Notably, the bed was still made. Two doors branched off from this chamber. Velma expected a closet and a master bath, but instead the second door led to a study. Of particular note was a bookcase loaded with memorabilia relating to a superhero Sweetie had never heard of. "Monsieur Courageous?" She asked.

"Yeah, I've heard of him..." Velma said. "He's really big here in France but never caught on in the States."

"Why not?"

"Well that's a long sad story. See, during the second world war the French Resistance had some of the bravest fighters in the world. But, all anyone Stateside ever remembers is the French army running for their lives when the Maginot Line fell. As a result, there's just not enough suspension of disbelief in the entire universe to make American readers accept the notion of a brave Frenchman."

"That's not right." Sweetie complained.

"No, it isn't..." Velma agreed, "And here's something else that's not right... Look at this empty display case in the middle of everything else. It looks like the crown jewel of this collection is missing."

"Missing, or maybe he just hasn't gotten it yet and is saving the space- No, wait. If that were the case the display light wouldn't be turned on yet would it?" Sweetie deduced.

"Very good Sweetie Belle, and exactly correct, I doubt the light would be on if the case was always empty. This is clearly a clue. Come on, let's check out the rest of the house."

They returned to the dining room, and from there took another door that led into the large family room. Everything here seemed normal, save that the house's front door, directly across from the dining room door, was knocked clean off it's hinges and laying flat on the floor. Gallons of slime covered the door, door frame, and front porch. "Jinkies! What a mess!" Velma gasped as they carefully stepped through the door and out onto the porch, avoiding the slime as much as possible. "I need to analyze a sample of this." She said and scooped some into a test tube.

"Do you think this is really giant snail slime?" Sweetie asked.

"We'll know soon enough. Though, I'll point out another clue to you: The slime stops here. Whatever took the contents of that case didn't ooze slime into the house itself."

Sweetie started to say "Which means-" But stopped as her ears twitched about, locking onto a sound. "Do you hear that?"

Velma listened intently and after a moment agreed "Yeah, it's sounds like screaming. And it's getting closer... Quick! Hide!" They ducked behind some convenient patio furniture and watched...

XXXXX

"Like Gangway!!" Shaggy cried out as he ran alongside Scooby and Scootaloo, the massive Lou Carcolth in hot pursuit behind them and rapidly closing the distance. "Scootaloo! I thought you said this thing would be slow!"

"Well, I mean... It's a snail! It should be slow!" Scootaloo yelled back.

"Yeah well it's not! I don't think the Speed Demon ghost was this fast!"

"Rope. He wasn't." Scooby agreed.

"Look I'm sorry! How was I supposed to know 'Turbo' was a documentary!?"

From behind them the massive snail kaiju's deep rumbling voice boomed out, "Flee you fools! Flee or I shall dine well tonight!"

As the monster drew ever closer, Scootaloo said "Shaggy? I've got an idea!"

"Like does it involve being eaten by a snail?"

"Not if it works!"

"Then like I'm game! Go for it!" Shaggy answered, and wondered, not for the first time this night, how he had gotten into this mess...

XXXXX

As Freddy had instructed, the trio had set off to investigate local escargot producers. Asking around had revealed that there was only one, though, and they had arrived at the front gates thirty minutes prior to the chase. A sign above the entry bore writing in both French and English, proclaiming it the "Escargantua" corporation, and boasting, ironically, of "France's BIGGEST Escargot Snails," and also stated that all snails were raised on site, and fed only organic foods. There was a guard shack at the gate, but no guard, and the gates themselves stood wide open.

Staring at the empty guard shack, listening to the too quiet of the night, Scooby said "Rhraggy? Rootaroo? I don't rike this...."

"Oh don't worry Scoob. I'm sure the guard is just making his rounds or something." Shaggy said.

"Maybe, but where is everyone else?" Scootaloo wondered.

"Let's take a look." Shaggy said, "And just keep telling ourselves 'It's just a snail, we can outrun it... It's just a snail, we can outrun it...'"

They crossed a gravel lot between the security fence and the main building, taking note that there were a large number of cars parked there. The door into the building required a key card, but luckily for them it was propped open. They crept quietly into the first chamber, which proved to be an employee's locker room. A single, unsecured door led to a long wide hallway with doors on both sides.

The first door was labeled 'hatchery' and contained row after row of tables hosting clutches of snail eggs. This was followed by a large room full of live snails in various stages of growth, and a room filled with bags of feed and medicines. No clues were found in any of these rooms, save for the total absence of any employees despite all the cars outside. Next was a locked and mysteriously unlabeled door.

Scootaloo asked "Should we just pass this one by? It's probably a janitor's closet or something."

"Like believe me Scoots I'd like nothing better. But you know Freddy and the girls will ask if we checked out everything and send us back if we didn't, so we'd might as well get this over with..." Shaggy said, and he tried to jiggle the lock open but had no luck.

"Rep aside please." Scooby said. Shaggy stepped next to Scootaloo, and Scooby began picking the lock with a nail. After only a few seconds, the door sprung open. "Rafter you!" Scooby motioned to the open door, and when Shaggy hesitated Scootaloo trotted in first.

Beyond the door was a roughly twenty by twenty foot chamber, most of the space filled with large aquariums. Eel like fish of some sort swam happily in the waters. In one corner of the room sat a small work desk, loaded down with loose papers. "Okay, so not a janitor's closet." Scootaloo said. "But this has to be a clue."

"Like no kidding! Why would an escargot farm have aquariums full of hagfish?"

"Ragfish?" Scooby asked, while Scootaloo began examining the papers.

"Scoob you've never heard of hagfish? They have, like, one of the most disgusting defense mechanisms in the entire animal kingdom! Watch!" He grabbed a long pole and carefully slid it down into one of the tanks. As soon as he poked a hagfish, the creature reacted by filling the waters around itself with a seemingly impossible amount of slime.

"Wow! That's horrible and awesome at the same time!" Scootaloo laughed.

"Yeah!" Shaggy agreed, and then began to ponder, "But I wonder... Snails move around on slime right? If this is just another fake, maybe someone here is responsible for Lou Carcolth! And these hagfish are to harvest for the giant snail's slime!"

"Makes rense to me!" Scooby agreed. "Rut why?"

"I dunno Scoob, maybe this place is losing money, about to go under, so they're trying to drum up business by making people too afraid to not eat escargot."

Scootaloo shook her head, and passed a sheet of paper to Shaggy. "I don't think so... According to this, 'Escargantua's' profits are great and going up. They have no motive."

"Huh. Well it was a thought. Let's get out of here huh?" Shaggy said, and they made their way back to the front door. But no sooner had they stepped out side then a voice loudly proclaimed "I Hunger!! And as I smell no escargot on your breaths, you will make a perfect meal!" The voice seemed to come from above, and they looked up to see Lou Carcolth looking down upon them from the roof of the building.

Shaggy's hair frizzed out and he jumped back, exclaiming "Zoinks! It's Snail-zilla! Scooby, Scootaloo, Run For It!!" And so began the chase we interrupted earlier, and now return to just as Scootaloo is putting her plan in motion:

XXXXX

Directly in the trio's path as they ran was a large storage barn. Scootaloo took the lead and ran inside through an unsecured door, which Shaggy and Scooby slammed shut behind them. Of course, a simple wooden door wasn't about to stop something like Lou Carcolth; The ginormous snail just rammed its way through and oozed into the barn...

Where it found a beautifully appointed restaurant that looked like it belonged it the fanciest parts of Paris. "Ah! Oui oui Monsieur Carcolth!" Maitre'd Scootaloo greeted as she trotted towards the monster. "Welcome to 'The Slimy Slug,' France's first and only five star restaurant for gastropods!" The confused creature looked around as the pegasus continued, calling out "Oh wait staff! Our best table for Monsieur Carcolth!"

Waiter Shaggy appeared, maneuvering Lou Carcolth into an oversized chair at an equally large table, while waiter Scooby put a large bowl of freshly heated snail feed before the monster, which began to salivate at the sight of it. It took a bite, then spat it out and began to roar angrily. Scootaloo ran out in front of the creature and said "Ah! A thousand apologies! Our chef is new and still makes mistakes sir! But not to worry! I know exactly what the problem is..."

"...Not enough Salt!!" And with those words Shaggy and Scooby each yanked hard on a rope hanging from the rafters above, a several tons of salt poured down, burying the monster snail. Scootaloo jumped atop the massive salt pile and danced about cheering "We did it! We did it!"

Then Shaggy and Scooby joined her, also dancing. "Like take that!" Shaggy exclaimed. "Snails and salt do not mix!"

"Reah! Rcience!" Scooby agreed.

And then the salt pile shuddered and Lou Carcolth burst free, right out from under them.

"Ruh-Roh!!" Scooby yelped, and to keep from falling to the ground he grabbed ahold of one of the snail's eyestalks with his front legs, while Shaggy grabbed on by Scooby's back legs and Scootaloo clung for dear life to Shaggy's feet. Lou Carcolth broke back out of the barn, and once outside began to rapidly move its head in a manner that caused the three to spun about faster and faster until Scooby's grip failed and with a scream of "Roh no!" they went flying high through the air, screaming in terror, the snail following along on the ground below...

XXXXX

Apple Bloom cast her gaze around the pub. There hadn't been many customers to begin with, and half of them had skedaddled when they heard the name Lou Carcolth. Still present, though, were a rough looking old man with a long grey beard, a thirty-ish woman in what 'Bloom recognized as, by human standards, far too little clothes for the public eye, and a young couple busily snogging in a back booth. "So, who do we talk to first?" She asked Fred and Daphne.

"We'll save the couple for last. With any luck they'll have come up for air by then." Daphne said.

Freddy pondered, "Old man or lady...?"

"The old man first." Daphne insisted, secretly hoping the woman would leave in the interim. She didn't want her Freddy near the half naked... no, make that three-quarters naked trollop. For his part Freddy was oblivious of this and just agreed, so they approached the man.

"Excuse me sir?" Daphne asked, "But we'd like to ask you a few questions..."

"Oh but of course! This old man has too little company these days, let alone company of your beauty!"

Blushing, Daphne said "Well, well... A charmer."

The old man shook his head. "In my younger days perhaps. Not for a long time now. So, what did you want to know?"

"We're investigating the mystery of Lou Carcolth." Freddy explained. "We were wondering if you've seen the monster yourself?"

"Or heard anything that might be important." Apple Bloom added.

"Hmmm...." The man stroked his beard in thought for several seconds. "Well, I've not seen it myself. Not sure I even believe it really. Though, I can tell you that's it's not just made up. There really is folklore about the giant snail Lou Carcolth, who eats those who don't eat escargot."

Apple Bloom cocked her head in confusion. "Yeah I don't get that part... Why would he want people 't eat his own kind?"

"Mister Peanut." Freddy said.

"Charlie the Starkist Tuna" Daphne added.

"Human advertising is weird." 'Bloom decided.

"And all codswallop!" The old man said to them, "No escargot... I've not eaten the stuff in fifty years! So why hasn't this monster came after me!?"

"That's a good question sir, and almost certainly a clue." Freddy said.

"Thank you for your time sir." Daphne said as they rose to move on.

The young couple was still making out so hard as to be lost to the world, so to Daphne's dismay they had to talk to the underdressed woman. The good news was, that in spite of the woman's aggressive advances Freddy was in fact still oblivious, his mind looping between Daphne, the mystery, and trap ideas with no room for anything more. The bad news was, she proved to be something of a bimbo and knew nothing useful:

"So, like, what's a snail? Is it a kind of car?"

"Erm... No miss, they're the little animals escargot is made from." Freddy explained.

The bimbo snickered. "Exactly! 'Es-CAR-got!'"

"Seriously?" Daphne thought, then said "What about the monster? Have you heard anything about that?"

"Monster? Well, I did drink like ten of them in a row and woke up in a hospital one time."

"No we mean a monster monster." Apple Bloom said, already getting exasperated.

"Coool! A talking cat!"

"I'm... A pony."

The woman shook her head. "Don't be ridiculous! Ponies don't talk!"

"But neither do cats," Freddy said, "And you thought..."

Bimbette seemed to really notice Freddy for the first time. "Well hello sailor! Wanna come back to my place?"

Seeing red now, Daphne placed herself in between Freddy and the woman. "Back. Off."

"Easy Daphne...." Apple Bloom said, placing a hoof on her arm.

Fortunately the woman didn't escalate. "Like, you people suck. You too cat! I'm out of here!" She said, and stumbled away and out the door.

"This is probably wrong of me to say," 'Bloom said, "But that was disturbing... Do you think she could be our villain? I mean no one is that dumb right? It had to be an act."

"Sadly I have to disagree 'Bloom." Daphne said. "People can be that dumb, and I think she's really one of them..."

Freddy and Daphne moved on to the couple who had finally relented. Apple Bloom started to follow, but then noticed Jean Luc sitting in a booth by himself. "Excuse me you two. I gotta check on something." She said, then trotted over and jumped into the seat next to the boy. "You okay buddy?"

"Yes. I am just worried about my Papa." Jean Luc answered.

"I can understand that. But I'll tell you right now, with my friends on the case he's gonna be just fine." Apple Bloom said. Then she noticed a thin book or magazine laying in the seat next to the boy. "Say, what's that?"

"Oh! It belongs to my uncle I guess. I found it behind the counter. My papa has one too, but I've never gotten to see it."

"Say where is your Uncle anyway?"

Jean Luc pointed to the kitchen door. "He is working. I asked to go with him, but he said a pub kitchen is too dangerous for someone my age, so I should wait here."

'Bloom found herself disgusted that the man had put continuing to work ahead of his nephew at a time like this. She looked across the room and saw Freddy and Daphne in an animated conversation with the couple, and decided it was her duty to do what she could to cheer Jean Luc up. "Well I tell you what... Why don't we read that book you got huh? It looks interesting!"

"I cannot read yet." Jean Luc cried.

"Eenope... But I can, and I'll read for you!" 'Bloom said cheerfully, and Jean Luc smiled, then opened the book and they began to read...

XXXXX

After hiding, Velma and Sweetie Belle continued to listen to the screams, which were getting closer and closer and a rapid pace. After a few seconds, Velma gasped. "I'd know those panicked screams anywhere!" She said, and ran out onto the front lawn. Looking up, she saw Shaggy, Scootaloo, and Scooby falling from the sky.

"Like look out below!" Shaggy screamed when he saw Velma. But they were falling too fast for her to do anything to help them, and it looked to be a rough landing. Fortunately, at almost the last moment before it would have been too late, he felt a sudden pull upwards and looked to see Scootaloo still holding onto his feet, wings beating furiously, struggling to slow their fall. Considering that she still couldn't even lift her own weight to fly it shouldn't have been enough, but something, adrenaline perhaps, was giving her enough wingpower to slow them enough for the landing to be survivable.

They slammed to the ground, and Velma and Sweetie Belle came running to their aid.

"Are you okay!?" Velma exclaimed.

"Scootaloo that was incredible!" Sweetie cheered.

Shaggy sat up and shook himself off. "Like yeah, I think we're okay. And thanks Scoots, that really was far out!"

"I didn't know I had it in me..." Scootaloo answered, stumbling about in exhaustion.

"So what happened?" Velma asked.

"Like Lou Carcolth happened." Shaggy explained, "And he's way faster than a snail should be. But we found a good clue at least. See, there's these fish tanks, and-"

"Um, Rhraggy?" Scooby interrupted, "Raybe you should tell Relma about this later..."

"Like why?"

"Rhat's why!" Scooby screamed, and pointed to the horizon, where Lou Carcolth was still coming after them.

"Jinkies!" Velma gasped.

"Like man o man he does not give up!" Shaggy said, and took off running. The others were right behind him, except for the exhausted pegasus.

"Scootaloo come on!" Sweetie shouted.

"Little help?" Scootaloo answered back.

And as big of a cowardly chicken as Scooby may be, let it never be said he'd leave a friend in a lurch; The dog scrambled back, tossed Scootaloo on his back, and ran for it as hard as he could. "Thanks Scooby." Scootaloo sighed.

"You're relcome!"

The gang fled across a field full of grape vines, angling away from the pub since the monster was after them. Unfortunately this deep in the wine country there were precious few places to shelter, or even to get out of the massive snail's line of sight long enough to plot. With no better choice, they made for a nearby hill, hoping for something useful on the other side. Lou Carcolth slowly closed in on them, but he had started far enough away that they crested the hill nearly a minute before he would get there. But there was nothing in sight except for more fields of grapes.

Velma said "Okay, we've got a few seconds. Fast plan time."

"Like break left and right and hide in the grape trellises." Shaggy suggested.

"I've got nothing better!" Sweetie agreed. Velma nodded her agreement as well, and they quickly hid.

Less than ten seconds later, Lou Carcolth appeared over the top of the hill. it looked about in confusion, muttered "Merdre" and oozed off back the way it had come.

The gang waited several minutes, just in case the monster snail was bluffing, then crept out of their hiding spots and huddled together in a circle to compare notes. Velma and Sweetie Belle reported on the empty house, missing display case item, and pile of slime at the door. Shaggy, Scooby, and Scootaloo (Who had regained her footing by this point,) talked about the aquariums full of hagfish and all the missing plant workers.

"I'm starting to see some patterns..." Velma said, "But I still don't have everything I need. There's a crucial part of the big picture still missing."

"So should we head back to the pub then?" Scootaloo asked.

Velma answered "Yeah, I think so. I still need to analyze the slime sample, and we need to see what the others have learned."

"Like alright then, let's go!" Shaggy said.

Sweetie Belle turned away from their circle and started to trot in the direction of the pub, but made it only as far as turning when she ran into something. Lou Carcolth was Right. There. "Fooled you!" The monster laughed, and it's head bent down to swallow her whole. Luckily Scootaloo was faster, knocking them both clear just as they heard Scooby cry out "Ruh-Roh!" and then everyone was on the run once more. They fled across vineyards, and over hills and through low valleys, and even back past the 'Escargantua' factory, where they had another of their regular 'hall of random doors' moments, this one involving the cars abandoned in the parking lot. At one point the monster snail chased them into the building, and they tried to fake it out by hiding in the hagfish tanks, obscured as they were with slime, but even that didn't work; If nothing else, Lou Carcolth was cannier than most of their villains and not easily fooled.

When the chase led back outside, the previously clear starry sky had clouded over. Which gave Velma an idea. "Sweetie, can you focus the light your horn makes into a beam?" She asked.

"Maybe...? I've never had to try." The unicorn answered.

"Well try, and aim it at the clouds!"

Sweetie built up her magic, horn glowing brightly, and after a couple of tries had a pretty stable beam, illuminating a circle on the bottom of the clouds. "Okay, now what!?"

"Now we make like Commissioner Gordon!" Velma answered, "Shaggy?"

It wasn't easy to do while running, but Shaggy tried to use his knowledge of finger shadow puppets to create a recognizable image in the circle of light on the clouds. It wasn't going well, so Scooby jumped in making shadows with his front paws, creating a symbol anyone who knew him would instantly recognize...

XXXXX

Apple Bloom stepped outside the pub to join Freddy and Daphne. "Learn anything?" She asked.

"Very little." Freddy answered. "All we know for sure is that there have been a few outsiders coming into the area lately."

"Miss Bimbo among them." Daphne added.

"She don't seem bright enough for this." 'Bloom said, and Daphne snorted.

"I don't think so either. But we've been surprised before..."

Freddy said "By the way, that was a nice thing you did, comforting Jean Luc."

Apple Bloom shook her head. "He seems like a good kid. And it was the right thing to do, what with his uncle hiding in the kitchen working."

"I think I wanna have a word with the uncle, leaving a five year old alone at a time like this!" Daphne fumed.

Freddy agreed. "Let's go talk to him, and then... Hey! What's that!?" He pointed high in the sky, to where a circle of light could be seen on the clouds. Dark shadows in random, unrecognizable forms passed through the circle, and then it was clear for a moment before clearer shapes appeared. "Letters..." Freddy said.

"R..."

"E..."

"L..."

"P..."

"Relp!" They all exclaimed together.

"Scooby must be in trouble!" Freddy said.

"Scooby and the others too! Let's go!" 'Bloom shouted.

They ran to Mystery Machine and jumped in, Freddy turning the key even as he slid into his seat, and tore off in the direction of the signal. They were a good half mile down the road before 'Bloom and Daphne noticed that Jean Luc had somehow slipped along with them unnoticed. "What are you doing here!?" Apple Bloom demanded.

"If you are helping your friends who are helping my papa, I want to come with you!" The boy insisted.

"Well... He does have a personal stake in this..." Daphne said.

Freddy nodded. "Okay, you can come. But put on a seatbelt and hold on tight! I might have to do some tricky driving!"

XXXXX

Racing down the road as fast as possible, Freddy soon realized that they had a problem: The road was veering off in a direction away from where the light seemed to originate. Seeing no other choice, he swerved to the left, going off road. Daphne winced as they shredded one trellis of expensive grapevines after another, though she agreed with Freddy that it had to be done.

In just a couple of minutes they caught sight of their friends, off in the distance, with Lou Carcolth still in hot pursuit. "Boy howdy! That's a snail and a half!" Apple Bloom said, while Jean Luc gasped in fear at the sight. 'Bloom continued "This'll be tricky, close as he is."

Freddy agreed. "I'm not planning to stop, just slow way down, so this will be a close shave."

"Come on 'Bloom, let's get the doors open and ready." Daphne said. She climbed out of the seat and together they opened the back doors wide, then strapped into lines connected to the walls of the van, so that they didn't have to worry about falling themselves, and could help without fear.

"Get ready! We're almost there!" Freddy shouted back. Moments later they were speeding past the monster snail which roared at them, and then Freddy was easing on the breaks as they passed Velma, Scooby, Sweetie Belle, Shaggy, and Scootaloo in the lead. When she saw Mystery Machine the pegasus cheered and poured on more speed before hopping in. Shaggy jumped and was caught and helped in by Daphne and Apple Bloom, followed by Scooby who, frightened when the monster roared again, leapt right into Shaggy's arms. Velma and Sweetie Belle were last, only just barely making it when Freddy slowed even more than he had planned. And then with everyone aboard Freddy headed back to the road, and practically stood on the gas pedal, Lou Carcolth finally outmatched for speed and fading away behind them.

XXXXX

Soon Mystery Machine was parked in a hiding spot behind a billboard. Velma and Apple Bloom worked to analyze the slime left at Jean Luc's house, while everyone else exchanged discoveries.

"Actually Shaggy, I doubt the lack of employees at escargantua was a clue. They probably just evacuated when Lou Carcoth showed up." Freddy was saying.

"That would explain why the cars were still there." Scootaloo said, "They were too scared to think about grabbing their keys and driving away."

"Ragfish! Ragfish!" Scooby said.

"Like yeah what about the hagfish?" Shaggy asked.

"I'm afraid I've got nothing there." Daphne said.

"Us neither." Apple Bloom said, "Especially since this stuff from Jean Luc's house ain't hagfish slime."

"It's actual snail slime!?" Sweetie Belle gasped.

"Oh no no no I told you Lou Carcolth is real!" Jean Luc wailed.

Velma said "Calm down everyone. It's not snail slime. It's actually a fairly common synthetic machine lubricant, but mixed with some other ingredients that make it more like a thin gel."

Scootaloo cocked her head. "You mean, like how you can turn white glue into slime?"

"Not exactly, but yes it's pretty similar." Velma explained.

"Like I'm still not getting this mystery, gang." Shaggy said. "It's just not adding up."

"You said it Shaggy." Apple Bloom agreed.

At Daphne's suggestion, they went back over all the clues: The fake snail slime, the missing piece of Pierre's collection, the hagfish, and word of outsiders in the area. Velma said "It's like I told Shaggy earlier... I kind of feel a pattern, but something's still missing..."

Scootaloo asked "What about you 'Bloom? Did you find any clues?"

"Eenope... Closest thing I've got is this book I read for Jean Luc." Apple Bloom said, holding out the book.

Sweetie Belle stepped next to 'Bloom and stared at the front cover. Then exclaimed "Hay Velma! It's that guy!"

Velma took the book and stared at the front cover in silence for several seconds. A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. "And there it is..." She whispered. "Gang, I know what this is all about! Freddy, it's time to say your line!"

"Um... 'Hold the phone?'" Freddy asked.

"No no, your other line."

"Oh right!" Freddy chuckled, then pumped a fist in the air and cheered "It's trappin' time!"

XXXXX

And so they set to work. Of course, even for an experienced group like Mystery Inc., trapping something as big and fast as Lou Carcolth would be a serious challenge. They moved to the Escargantua facility, (where luckily for the plan the night shift workers had never returned,) and began putting the pieces into place. The most crucial component of the plan, though, took long enough to prepare that it was barely more than an hour before daybreak when everything was finally ready, and Freddy began to detail the plan to everyone one last time.

"Okay, Shaggy, Scooby, and Scootaloo; Your part comes first. Shaggy and Scooby will be on roller skates, holding lines attached to the back of Scootaloo's scooter. That way you'll all be able to move faster than on foot. You'll go out, find Lou Carcolth, and lead him back here where you'll go into the warehouse building through the big double doors we've left open. As soon as you are through the doors, take a hard left and jump as hard as you can."

Daphne picked up from there, "You'll jump to avoid the floor we've covered in Velma's chemically enhanced hagfish slime, which is so sticky even Lou Carcolth should get stuck in it, at least for a short time. At that point, Freddy, Velma, and I will step out of hiding on one side, while Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Jean Luc do so on the other side, and we throw each other strong ropes to hold the monster in place better. Then we just have to unmask him!"

Velma said "Just remember we need to be quick. We don't know when this place's morning shift starts showing up and it's better to be done before they do."

Scootaloo looked up at Shaggy and asked "You ready?"

Shaggy swallowed fearfully. "Like does anyone have any Scooby Snacks?"

"Reah! Rooby snacks!" Scooby agreed. Velma sighed and tossed a handful to each of them.

"Like okay, let's get this over with..." Shaggy said, and they headed out to find the monster...

XXXXX

As it turned out, finding Lou Carcolth was the easy part. Getting him back where they needed was somewhat trickier. They had been passing by the pub, not even expecting anything yet, when the giant snail appeared around a corner, saw them, roared "Where is it!? Where is it!?" and came right after them at full speed. Scootaloo revved up her wings and soon the trio was rocketing along at high velocity, but in the wrong direction.

"Like we're going the wrong way!" Shaggy exclaimed.

"I know I know!" Scootaloo shouted back, "But he was in the way I had no choice! Hang on you two, I'm gonna try to make a wide curve!" Scootaloo began banking to the right, hoping that she could get them going the right way. But Lou Carcolth saw this and moved to intercept, forcing her to curve back the other way again. Time and time again Scootaloo attempted to get around the monster and head back to the others, but each and every time the angry creature managed to interfere too quickly. Then she saw her opening:

Directly in their path was a highway underpass, with an on ramp angling up to the roadway. And if there was one on this side, it stood to reason there was a counterpart on the far side too. Of course, she would have to make an awfully tight, awfully sudden turn to make this plan work. Which wouldn't be so bad for Scootaloo herself, but Shaggy and Scooby, at the end of the lines, would be whipped around pretty roughly.

"Should I warn them...?" Scootaloo wondered, and then thought better. "I'll just do it. It'll be over before they have time to get too scared."

And so Scootaloo aimed right for the pass under the highway, flashing past the road tunnel in seconds, then hit the breaks and spun about to face the on ramp, already accelerating as she did so. Behind her, Shaggy and Scooby were screaming as they swung in an arc and were then suddenly yanked back along behind her. Scootaloo reached the elevated highway and didn't slow down as she zoomed straight across the road, and sailed high into the air on the opposite side... Right over the head of a shocked Lou Carcolth, who was just about to pass under the road. The monster tried to stretch up and pluck them out of the sky, but it was too slow. Seconds later, Scootaloo hit the ground and kept going, back towards the waiting trap at last.

In the tight confines of the space leading into the underpass, it took Lou Carcolth longer than usual to turn itself around, so Scootaloo managed to build up quite a lead. In fact, she had to slow down a little, to be sure the monster still had them in sight and would continue following. But at last everything was going according to plan. Which is, of course, a very big red flag.

They made it back to Escargantua, lost time tossing aside the scooter and roller skates, and ran into the warehouse building about ten seconds ahead of Lou Carcolth. The augmented hagfish slime was spread over the floors, leaving their only safe path to jump and climb up ropes dangling from the roof. What no one had taken into consideration, was that since they were running when they made the jump, the ropes began to swing about. Just then the snail monster roared around the corner and came right for the trio. Scooby swung wide, then arced back and slammed right into Scootaloo who found herself knocked off her rope and right into Lou Carcolth's face, which she clung to.

"Ah ha! A morsel of dinner!" The snail boomed out.

"Somebody help!" Scootaloo cried out. Shaggy swung in close and tried to grab her, but just ended up sending them both flying across the room and landing in the slime where they were instantly stuck.

"Roh no!" Scooby exclaimed, and swung down closer to the ground to try and pull them free, only to fall in himself too. "Ruh roh!"

Lou Carcolth paid no heed to the slime as it moved towards them. Incredibly, it's great bulk was such that the slime was barely slowing it down. "Now then... Where. Is. It!?"

"Right here!" A voice rang out. Lou Carcolth looked to see Sweetie Belle holding the book in her magic aura. She shouted "Come and get it!" And galloped away.

Lou Carcolth started to go after Sweetie, but the longer it was in the slime the slower it's movements were becoming. Then Freddy called out "Now!" And several strong ropes were thrown over the monster's back and pulled tight with ratchets. Lou Carcolth struggled mightily, but was unable to free itself...

XXXXX

With the monster trapped, the gang was free to rescue Shaggy, Scootaloo, and Scooby from the slime. By the time that was done, the sun was beginning to peek over the horizon and morning shift employees of the snail farm were arriving. The first of them took one look at Lou Carcoltlh, exclaimed 'Sacre Bleu!" And ran to call the police, who arrived shortly thereafter.

"Incredible!" The police chief said, "You have actually captured Lou Carcolth! But what is this all about? Who is responsible!?"

Velma said "I'm afraid there's only one possible suspect..." She nodded to Freddy and Shaggy who pulled away the cleverly disguised operator's hatch to reveal...

"Uncle Francois!?" Jean Luc exclaimed. "But... Why...?"

Daphne knelt down at Jean Luc's side and tried to explain. "Your Uncle's pub was about to go out of business. He didn't have enough customers. A man who thought he could turn it around was trying to buy it up, but Francois wanted more money than that man would pay."

"Then, he remembered the centerpiece of your dad's Monsieur Courageous collection." Apple Bloom said.

Velma held out the book. "A mint condition, autographed by the writer and artist, copy of 'Monsieur Courageous number one' from nineteen fifty five. In American money it's worth over half a million dollars to the right buyer."

Scootaloo said "So Francois came up with the Lou Carcolth monster to explain away when weird things happened!"

"But... If the monster is not real then where is my Papa?" Jean Luc cried.

From his seat inside the snail's cockpit, Francois answered "Your father is fine Jean Luc. He is locked up in the wine cellar under the pub. I needed him out of the way until I could sell the comic book, and flee the country... Ideally to someplace warm and tropical, and without extradition treaties." He then glared at the gang and added "And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling Americans, and your tiny horses!"

As Francois was pulled from Lou Carcolth and arrested, Freddy said "Well gang, I guess that wraps up this mystery!"

"No it doesn't!" Apple Bloom said, "What about the outsiders we heard about?"

"And, like, all the hagfish!?" Shaggy added.

Velma thought this over. "Hmmm.... I'd say the man who wanted to buy the pub was one of the outsiders, and the others had nothing to do with any of this. And as for the hagfish... Huh. I don't know. That is odd though-"

Before Velma could finish, a voice familiar to some of the gang spoke up "The hagfish are mine! And you'd better not have hurt them!" They looked to see the bimbo woman from the night before approaching, and now much more modestly dressed. "I rented out that spare room specifically to have a quiet place to conduct research for my doctoral dissertation!"

Apple Bloom stared in confusion. "Doctoral.... But... But you.... You're...."

"You're an idiot!" Daphne blurted out what Apple Bloom was too polite to say.

The woman rolled her eyes. "Hardly. Though, I admit I can seem that way when I'm drunk." She stomped off towards the building where her fish waited.

"Um... Okay! I guess that really does wrap things up." Sweetie Belle said.

Shaggy said "Like, just one last thing. Let's go free Jean Luc's father, and then make breakfast with the food in the pub. I mean, it's not like Francois will be needing it anytime soon, right? And it'd be a shame to let perfectly good food go to waste!"

Everyone laughed, and we fade out of the scene...

Author's Note

* Not that Snails.

Lou Carcolth is an actual part of French folklore as a giant monster snail. I just boosted him to kaiju size and added in the 'escargot' motivation.

Monsieur Courageous is my own creation.

"It's The Great Pumpkin, Scootaloo!"

(Shaggy Voice-Over: "Like, in this episode Scootaloo meets Charlie Brown and the Peanuts Gang!")

XXXXX

It was a beautiful October day in a small midwestern town. A pair of ten year old girls, Lucy Van Pelt and Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Riechardt were walking together along the sidewalk after hanging out at the local park. Lucy was in the midst of a relentless tirade against their neighbor, Charlie Brown, to Patty's great annoyance. "Look Lucy, you're my friend..." Patty said when she was finally able to get a word in, "But I wish you'd lay off Chuck. I know he's maybe a little odd but he's an okay guy!"

Lucy rolled her eyes. "Oh brother! Charlie Brown is the loseriest loser in the history of losers. Why are you defending him?"

"I told you! He's not a bad guy! And I don't like it when my friends pick on each other." Patty countered.

"Whatever." Lucy shook her head. "You think whatever you want, but I'll never stop making fun of a bald round-headed kid who always screws everything up!"

"Oh now... That's not very nice of you..." A mysterious creepy voice suddenly said from behind the girls. Lucy and Patty spun around to face the speaker, and found themselves confronted with a nightmare. The head/body was that of a massive Jack O Lantern, eyes, nose, and mouth glowing with inner fire. Thick vines and leaves grew from the bottom, holding the Pumpkin up and allowing it to move. Two more bunches of vines sprouted from the sides and served as arms and hands.

Lucy could barely more than whisper, "It's.... It's the.... It's the g.... The g.... The g...g...g...."

"The what?" The creature rumbled, leaning in closer."

"The gr.... The gr.... The grea..."

"THE GREAT PUMPKIN!?!?" The monster suddenly boomed out, causing Lucy to stumble back and fall. It spoke again, "Yes! Yes I am the Great Pumpkin! And it's not very sincere to make fun of an innocent boy! So I'll just have to punish you!" And with that it snatched up Patty in a vine-claw, then turned and slithered away, leaving a traumatized Lucy to scream and run...

XXXXXX

Meanwhile, not far away as the crow flies, we find Mystery Machine sitting by the side of the road, with smoke rising from the engine compartment and the gang standing about while Freddy tries to diagnose the problem. After a few minutes he approaches his friends while wiping motor oil from his hands. "Well gang, I don't know. Whatever is wrong it's beyond my skill to figure out."

"Like it happens." Shaggy said.

Looking up at the beatnik, Scootaloo says in a surprised voice "Wow Shaggy. You're taking this well."

"And why wouldn't I?" Shaggy answered, "Look around! It's a bright sunny day with no creepy mansions or abandoned amusement parks or horrible monsters in sight! This is my kind of breakdown!"

"Reah! Me too!" Scooby agreed.

Daphne said "At least we're close to a town." She pointed to a sign that indicated a small town was less than a mile's walk further along the road. "I say we look for some help there."

Everyone agreed, and they made their way into town, taking note of how it seemed like something right out of the nineteen fifties. One of the first buildings they came to was a drugstore that still had a soda fountain manned by an old style soda jerk. They approached him and asked if there was a garage in town.

The man turned to them, smiled, and said "Wah wahn wahh. Wahn wah wom. Womm Wam wahm...."

"Um... Huh?" Scootaloo asked, head cocked.

"Womp womp wahn wom wahn."

"I... See." Dephne said, confused. "Well thanks anyway."

Uncertain what was happening, the gang tried speaking to a number of other adults from the town, but they were all equally incomprehensible. After several tries they conviened in the parking lot outside. "Could any of y'all understand a word of that?" Apple Bloom asked.

Velma replied "No... It's the strangest accent I've ever heard. I'd want to stay and study it if we we're in a pickle at the moment."

"Like how are we gonna get help if we can't understand anyone?" Shaggy wondered.

Just then, a young girl ran past the gang, screaming "Help! Help!"

"I understood her!" Scootaloo said, "Come on!" And she gave chase, the others close behind.

XXXXX

When they caught up with the girl, she was in the midst of a small group of children her age. She was gesticulating wildly and crying out "...And it took Peppermint Patty! We have to do something! Call the police! Call the National Guard!"

"Excuse me kids but is something wrong here?" Freddy asked.

"Lucy's just gone as nuts as her brother!" One of the kids laughed.

"No it's true!" Lucy wailed, "The Great Pumpkin is real and it took Peppermint Patty!"

"Okay just what is a 'Great Pumpkin?'" Velma asked.

"And why is it taking a piece of candy such a big deal?" Sweetie Belle added.

"Peppermint Patty is actually a friend of ours." One of the other kids said. He held out a hand to shake and added "I'm Schroder, and these are Charlie Brown, Violet, and Pigpen."

"And the Great Pumpkin?" Daphne asked.

Charlie Brown said "Our friend Linus, Lucy's little brother, believes in it. He says that 'Every Halloween night, the Great Pumpkin rises out of a pumpkin patch and flies around the world giving presents to every good boy and girl.'"

"So he's confused Halloween and Christmas?" Scootaloo asked.

"That's what we all thought. We all made fun of him for it, but now..."

"Now it's real!" Lucy cried out.

Velma said "I'm still confused though... If this 'Great Pumpkin' is supposed to be a good guy, why would it take your friend?"

"I think I can answer that." A new voice said. Another young child, a year younger than the others, approached, dragging a blanket. "Hi! I'm Linus! And I'm guessing Lucy was making fun of Charlie Brown again."

"So!? What does that have to do anything!?" Lucy demanded.

Linus said "It's quite simple really. The Great Pumpkin loves sincerity. And being kind and nice to friends is a part of sincerity. Obviously, he's gotten tired of you being so mean."

"Well gang, it sounds like we've gotten another mystery to solve!" Freddy said.

"Wait, you'll help our friends?" Charlie Brown asked.

"Of course! It's kind of what we do!" Daphne said. "But first... Look kids, for some reason we can't understand a word the adults in this town say. But I assume you can?"

"Oh sure. I wonder why you can't?" Schroder said.

"I have no idea. But if one of you could ask the mechanic at the town garage to take a look at our van? It's broken down just west of town." Daphne added.

Another new kid approached the group. "I'll ask my dad. He works on cars."

"Thanks, um...?"

"Franklin."

"Okay! Let's plan this out gang!" Freddy said, and they gathered in a huddle.

"So rhat's the plan?" Scooby asked.

Velma said "Okay... Shaggy, you take Scooby, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom. Go check out the local pumpkin patches and other places around the outskirts of town for any clues to the true nature of this 'Great Pumpkin.' Meanwhile, the rest of us will talk to the kids and search for clues here inside the town."

"Right! Let's get to it!" Scootaloo cheered.

XXXXX

Scootaloo stood atop a large pumpkin in the third pumpkin patch they had checked. She looked all about, just as Shaggy, Scooby, and 'Bloom were doing, but saw nothing of interest. Shaggy looked to her and said "Like guys, I think this might be a wild goose chase."

"Reah! Wild Roose chase." Scooby agreed.

"You think or you hope?" Scootaloo asked.

"Both." Shaggy and Scooby said together.

Scootaloo just shook her head, but Apple Bloom said "Ah hate 't say it, but this is based on the word of a human kid even younger than we are. She mighta been makin' it up."

"No way!" Scootaloo argued, "Didn't you see how scared she was? No little kid is that good an actor."

"Maybe..." 'Bloom considered.

Shaggy said "Like I don't know. According to those kids this is the last pumpkin patch in town. If there's nothing here, where else will we look?"

"Maybe just wander around town?" Apple Bloom suggested.

"Rorks for me." Scooby said, and so that's what they did. Within just a couple of minutes, though, Shaggy caught sight of something and pointed down the street.

"Like hey! Look! A lemonade stand! Let's all get something to drink!"

They rushed to the stand, only to be disappointed when they arrived and read the sign: "Psychiatric Help: Five Cents."

"What in the world?" Apple Bloom wondered.

"That's either a really good deal or a really bad doctor." Scootaloo snarked.

Before anyone could say anything else, though, a shadow fell over the quartet. They looked up, and saw the Great Pumpkin, which had sneaked up from behind, looming over them. "Zoinks! It's him!" Shaggy exclaimed.

"Mu-ha ha ha!!" The Great Pumpkin laughed. "Now I will destroy you all!"

"Now hold on just one second there pardner!" Apple Bloom said, "We're sincerely trying 't help out a scared kid! Ain't that supposed 't be a good thing to you?"

The monster stopped laughing and rubbed in chin in thought. "Hmm... Yes little pony, ordinarily that would be an excellent point... But in this case you are getting in the way of my work! That's very naughty!"

"So you're gonna chase us then?" Scootaloo asked.

"I see no other choice."

Shaggy said "Oh, well in that case.... Like, Run!!" And so the chase was on.

Across the town, from one end to the other, in and out of multiple hiding places, crossing streets, dodging cars, climbing trees, including one filled with old kites, they ran, but the Great Pumpkin was surprisingly fast and managed to stay hot on their trail. In time, they found themselves in another residential neighborhood. They had gotten a small lead on the monster, and ducked out of sight behind a house, but could still hear it coming. And it was there that they met a small white dog with black ears and a black spot on his back. He was standing upright on his hind legs, next to a red doghouse, and motioning for them to take shelter inside.

"Like I don't think we'll all fit!" Shaggy said, but the dog motioned all the more.

"No time just do it!" Scootaloo argued, and along with the dog they all rushed into the doghouse. This was followed by the sounds of crashing and screaming as they fell down a flight of stairs.

"Ruh?" Scooby wondered as he looked around from the pile they had all fallen into at the base of the stairs.

"That was just a doghouse right?" 'Bloom wondered, "Why are there stairs in a doghouse?"

"Like not just stairs! Check it out!" Shaggy said in awe. All around them was a massive underground complex, like a hidden and lavishly appointed shelter house. "What is this?"

The dog motioned to himself. and grinned.

"All this is yours? Um..." Scootaloo read the name on the dog's tags, "Snoopy?" Snoopy nodded.

"Rood plan!" Scooby said.

"Hay yeah, Surely the Great Pumpkin will never find us down here!" Apple Bloom agreed.

"But we still haven't found any clues!" Scootaloo said.

"It rappens, Rootaroo."

"Yeah I know, but still..." Scootaloo thought for a moment. Looked all around at the underground complex. "Say, you don't suppose maybe this is a clue? I mean, this ain't normal."

"Like I dunno Scoots... Snoopy's right here so he can't be the Great Pumpkin. And I... Whoa! Look at this!" Shaggy walked over to a painting hanging on the wall. "Like, I think this is an original Van Gogh! Now that might be a clue!"

"Reah! Rue!" Scooby agreed.

"But if the Great Pumpkin is just an art thief, why'd he take Lucy's friend?" Apple Bloom wondered.

"Good question." Shaggy agreed.

As the group continued to explore the underground structure, a small yellow bird flew up to them, looping about in a randow flight pattern and landing on Snoopy's nose. It began to chatter loudly, while pointing back up the stairs with it's wings.

"Friend of yours Snoopy?" Apple Bloom asked. The dog nodded, then turned his attention back to the bird. After listening to the chattering for a few seconds, Snoopy's ears flew up and he started motioning in pantomime for everyone to hide.

"Guys I've got a bad feeling we've been found..." Scootaloo said.

"Ride!" Scooby agreed, and everyone took shelter behind various furnishings just as the Great Pumpkin appeared down the stairs...

XXXXX

Meanwhile, the rest of the gang were asking questions of the kids in town, with the aid of Schroder who was showing them around and introducing them. They had just finished speaking with Pigpen (And choking from all the dust in the air around him, seriously, the kid is a walking air quality warning,) when a girl in thick glasses came running up, calling out to Schroder. "Is it true!? Is it true!?"

"Yes, it's true. The Great Pumpkin kidnapped Peppermint Patty." Schroder explained.

"Oh no no no!" The girl wailed, then cried out to the heavens "Whatever will I do without you sir!?"

"'Sir?'" Velma asked.

"Army brat." Schroder whispered. "She seems to see Patty as a superior officer rather than a friend." He then said to the girl "Marcie!? It's okay, calm down. These people are here to help."

"R-really? You can save her?" Marcie asked.

"We'll do everything we can." Freddy said. "And, to start with, maybe you can help us out. Have you seen or heard anything unusual recently?"

"Hmmm.... Well, Sir hasn't been spending as much time with me the last week as normal. And just before I heard, I was out by a pumpkin patch and found this on the ground..." Marcie help up a gleaming metal pin, attached to a narrow ribbon, which Velma took and examined.

"Interesting..." Velma mused. "This is a U.S. Army Distinguished Service Medal. Not at all the kind of thing that would just be abandoned on the ground..."

"I wonder whose it is?" Sweetie Belle wondered.

Daphne said "We figure that out, I'll bet we'll be really close to cracking this mystery."

"Do you want me to show you where it was?" Marcie asked.

"Yes, please." Velma said, and Marcie led the way...

XXXXX

The Great Pumpkin crept into the underground room, looking all about. "I know you are here..." It grumbled, but no one answered. The monster pumpkin began grabbing pieces of furniture and tossing them aside, searching for it's quarry, but they were carefully moving about, keeping out of sight and just ahead of the monster. As luck would have it, the monster's search pattern took it further and further away from the stairs, while allowing the gang to slowly inch closer to them. Then came the crucial moment: The Great Pumpkin was sure it had their hiding spot narrowed down and grabbed up a large couch, tossing it aside with a triumphant "Ah-Ha!" and as it saw it was wrong again, the gang bolted from cover and up the stairs.

Unfortunately, the monster heard the ruckus and, with a loud roar, gave chase again. "Faster faster he's right behind us!" Apple Bloom exclaimed.

"Like I thought the stairs would slow him down!" Shaggy said.

Scootaloo replied "Maybe they just need a little help!" She grabbed a painting mounted on the wall and threw in back down the stairs behind them. This triggered a cascade reaction, as it struck other paintings and decorations on the walls, knocking them loose as well, and then those knocked even more things free, the entire mess tumbling down into the Great Pumpkin which lost it's footing and pitched back, just managing to save itself from falling, but at least being slowed down considerably.

When they reached the top of the stairs, Scooby looked down and said "Ruh-roh! He's rill coming!"

"Like we'll never outrun him! What do we do!?" Shaggy cried out.

Then to everyone's surprise, Snoopy let out a sound like "Ah-haa!" and climbed atop his doghouse. He sat down, with Woodstock in his lap, and motioned for everyone to grab hold of his legs.

"Um..." Scootaloo said, "How is this supposed to help?"

"Reats me." Scooby agreed.

Apple Bloom, though, just shrugged and said "Ah got nothin' better."

So they all grabbed hold as Snoopy wanted. And were amazed when his ears began spinning like helicopter rotors and he actually lifted off, carrying them with him. And just in time, as moments later the Great Pumpkin appears out of the doghouse. The monster was unable to reach them up in the sky, and shook it's arms in frustration yet continued to follow along on the ground as Snoopy tried to fly away.

A few minutes later, they were passing over the last pumpkin patch they had visited, when Scootaloo cried out for Snoopy to dive down. "Like are you crazy!? That thing's still after us!" Shaggy argued.

"I know, I know!" Scootaloo said, "But I think I see a clue! There's something down there that wasn't there before! Just real quick Snoopy, please? It's important!" Snoopy nodded and flew down, barely avoiding the Great Pumpkin's attempt to grab them, and Scootaloo reached out a hoof and grabbed hold of her clue: a small scrap of pale blue fabric.

"That's it?" Apple Bloom asked, "Don't look like much of a clue 't me."

"Maybe not, but it wasn't there before, I'm sure of that! I want Velma to at least take a look at it!"

"Like okay!" Shaggy said, "Now let's ditch Mister Freak-O-Lantern and find the gang!"

"You want the others, there they are now!" Apple Bloom said, and pointed to where Freddy, Daphne, Velma, and Sweetie Belle were coming around the corner of a house with Schroder and Marcie...

XXXXX

While Scootaloo's group were still hiding in Snoopy's doghouse, the other group was following Marcie and Schroder through town. Sweetie Belle asked "So, can either of you tell me just why everyone picks on this poor Charlie Brown kid?"

Schroder and Marcie exchanged a look, and Marcie said "I think it all comes from Lucy sir. She's been mean to him forever and everyone else just goes along."

"Well, almost everyone else." Schroder said. "And, I should add, Charlie Brown is, well... Things don't work out for him very often. His life is just one embarrassing failure on top of another."

"But he never lets it get him down. He never gives up... Which, might be what Lucy is so set off about I think." Marcie added.

Sweetie Belle said "Well after dealing with bullies of my own, I don't like it no matter what they think their reasons are! And besides-"

Sweetie stopped when Freddy motioned for silence. "Do you hear that?" A pair of familiar voices were coming from around a corner just ahead. They gang eased to the corner and peered around. They were at the town's main street, with small businesses lining both sides of the road. On the closer sidewalk were Charlie Brown and Franklin, down on thier knees looking for something. As they searched they were talking.

"Thanks for helping me search." Franklin said.

"It's okay! Besides, you and Linus are the only two kids in town that have always been nice to me. I want to pay it back." Charlie Brown said.

Franklin shook his head. "You're a good friend Charlie Brown. Don't ever let them make you forget it. And don't ever give up either. Things will get better my friend."

"Thanks Franklin... So, I don't think it's here. Should we look... Oh, hello!" Charlie Brown said as he looked up and saw the gang watching around the corner.

"Oh! Um, hi kids! Lose something?" Velma asked.

"Um..." Franklin started to speak, but Charlie Brown answered first. "I lost my favorite marble. Franklin's helping me look. But, I don't think it's here."

Franklin stood. "Yeah, you're probably right. Well, I guess I should go see how Dad's doing with your van. See you later Charlie Brown."

Charlie Brown waved goodbye then got to his feet, dusting off his knees and asked "So, how's the mystery going?"

"We're on our way to investigate a possible clue right now." Daphne explained.

Sweetie Belle asked "Would you like to come?"

"Me? Come along with an actual group of professional mystery solvers? That would be awesome!" the boy cheered.

"Alright then. Marcie, lead away again please." Freddy said, and they were on their way once more.

XXXXX

It took only a few more minutes to reach the place Marcie had told them about. It was in an open field, near a large pumpkin patch. "It was right here!" Marcie said, pointing to a spot on the ground.

The gang moved in closer to investigate, but could find nothing of significance. Finally Velma said "gang, I'm afraid this location may be a bust, even if I think the medal itself is important."

"Medal?" Charlie Brown asked. Velma showed it to him, and his eyes went wide for a moment.

"You recognize it?" Velma asked.

"Well maybe. I'm not sure."

"Think hard, it could be important." Sweetie Belle said.

"I'll try, but... Hey! here comes my dog Snoopy!" He pointed, and when the gang looked they were dumbfounded.

"Is that dog... Flying!?" Daphne exclaimed.

"The aerodynamics of this situation are completely impossible." Velma observed. "This is the strangest thing I've ever seen."

"Velma, I'm a magic unicorn from another dimension who lives in a van with a talking dog and it's the strangest thing I've ever seen..." Sweetie Belle said.

As Snoopy grew closer, it became apparent that he was carrying a load, and then as he got much closer they could make out who it was. Fred and Daphne began waving their arms to get Snoopy's attention. The dog saw, and came in for a landing, reuniting the gang.

"So, um... Question...?" Daphne said, pointing at Snoopy.

"I don't get it either, but he saved our lives!" Scootaloo cheered. "And I think I found a clue!" She passed the scrap of fabric to Velma who eyed it critically.

Shaggy said "Like yeah, we're happy to see you guys! But we need to keep running, and I mean like yesterday!"

"Running? Why?" Charlie Brown asked.

Shaggy pointed. "That's Why!!" And the Great Pumpkin loomed into view from around a house, still coming right for them.

"Jeepers! The Great Pumpkin is real!" Daphne cried out.

"That's what took Sir!?" Marcie wailed.

"Everybody run for it!" Freddy shouted, and the chase was on once more. Sticking together, they fled across town. Of course, there were idea on how to ditch the pursuit, especially from Shaggy and Scooby who had the most experience in tricking monsters, but the Great Pumpkin was so close on their heels that there wasn't time to set anything up. They ran through a field of late season tomatoes, and the Great Pumpkin began throwing the tomatoes at them, fruits rupturing and spewing slimy innards all about when they hit the ground, creating a slippery mess that no one could run through. Luckily, it was just as slippery for the monster which fell flat on it's face, giving the gang a chance to gain some distance in the chase.

Taking advantage of the added lead, they ran into a supermarket and quickly carved pumpkins, disguising themselves as Jack O Lanterns. The Great Pumpkin burst in, frightening off customers and the store employees who had been about to chastise the gang for using pumpkins they hadn't yet paid for. It stopped and stared at the Jack O Lanterns for several moments before bowing, saying, "Ladies..." and going on it's way.

But, sadly, just before the monster was out of earshot, Sweetie Belle sneezed. "Ah Ha!" The Great Pumpkin roared in triumph, turning back. Scootaloo tossed off her disguise and grabbed a box from a nearby shelf. A box containing a ready made pumpkin pie. "Back off! Back off or your friend gets it!" She shouted.

The rest of the gang saw the plan and joined in, threatening loaves of pumpkin bread, baked pumpkin seeds, and even a jar of pumpkin spice. Apple Bloom stepped forward, pointed to Shaggy and Scooby, and said "Mister Great Pumpkin sir? These two are world eating contest champions! Get on out now, or they'll eat all of your pumpkin friends!"

"No! No!" The Great Pumpkin cowered back. "Spare my pumpkin brethren!"

"I don't know... They look awfully hungry..." Velma said.

"I'll go! I'll go! But mark my words, this isn't over!" The Great Pumpkin declared, and it turned and slithered away...

XXXXX

A short time later. The gang had taken the younger kids home, for their own safety. And they were now gathered at Charlie Brown's house, where he and Snoopy were still there with them as they tried to figure out the mystery.

"What are you thinking?" Daphne asked Velma as the woman examined the scrap of fabric closely.

"I'm not sure. I recognize this though. I've seen this exact color somewhere here in town, today." Velma said. She shook her head. "Okay, let's list everything we have..."

Freddy said, "All right... Number one: A familiar scrap of blue fabric, left in a pumpkin patch..."

Scooby said "Rwo: Ran important medal."

"Three:" Scootaloo said, "A poor kid constantly bullied, and the monster seems mad about that."

"Like Four: A priceless Van Gogh in an underground doghouse." Shaggy said.

Apple Bloom said "Five: The monster didn't take the girl that was making fun of Charlie Brown... It took the one that wasn't."

"Hmm..." Velma mused. "Charlie Brown, did you remember where you'd seen the medal before yet?"

"Not exactly... But... I think maybe it belongs to one of the other kid's dads." The boy answered.

"I'm really not seeing how any of this adds up." Scootaloo admitted, and the others agreed.

Save, that is, for Velma who said "Yes. I wouldn't get it yet either, except for one last clue that makes the rest of the pieces fall into place. You see, someone lied to us earlier today, not knowing we'd already heard enough to know it was a lie. And if I'm right, the reason for that lie, combined with other things that were said and some of the other clues, tells us exactly who is behind the Great Pumpkin, and why."

"Velma you never cease 't impress." Apple Bloom said.

"Blushing at the compliment, Velma simply said "Freddy, it's time to design a trap."

"Great!" Freddy cheered, "And I might already have something in mind!" He looked at Charlie Brown and asked "What were you telling us about a 'Kite Eating Tree...?"

XXXXX

Two hours later: Scootaloo looked out on the results of the gang's hard work, the newest Fred Jones designed monster trap. A pair of hastily built wooden fences opened wide to the north, while narrowing inward in a funnel layout towards the town's small public park, ending at a pond which, according to Charlie brown, was a prime ice skating spot in winter. Of course, it wasn't nearly cold enough for the water to have frozen over as yet, a detail rectified by a large industrial cooling unit Velma had procured somewhere in town and set up to blow freezing air over the pond. On the other side of the pond, directly opposite the funneling fences, was a faked pumpkin patch. And in the middle of the patch stood the Kite Eating Tree.

Freddy clapped his hands together. "Okay gang, here's how this will work: Shaggy and Scooby will go out on foot and find the Great Pumpkin, while Snoopy flies high above with Scootaloo along for the ride. When they find the monster, Shaggy and Scooby will lead it back here, making sure to come in from the north, between the fences so that the Great Pumpkin is corralled to exactly where we need it to be."

"And this is where Scootaloo comes in, right?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Exactly." Velma said, "Scootaloo will use her pegasus weather control abilities to create a small microburst just behind the Great Pumpkin, as soon as it is standing on the pond. The slippery ice will cause it be be propelled all the way across the pond and into the fake pumpkin patch."

"Where the rest of us will be hiding behind the pumpkins, waiting to throw scraps of kite fabric and string all over the monster, just as it ends up under the kite eating tree!" Apple Bloom said.

Charlie Brown finished "The tree hasn't had a kite to eat in months! It won't be able to resist! It'll snatch up the Great Pumpkin to gobble down the kite parts, and he won't be able to free himself!"

"Okay, well, everything is ready!" Freddy said. "Places everyone! Let's do this!"

XXXXX

Dusk was beginning to fall as Shaggy and Scooby crept through the town. They had been looking for nearly a half hour, with no sign of the monster. "Like, if I was a terrifying giant pumpkin monster, where would I be lurking?" Shaggy wondered.

"Rumpkin ratch?" Scooby suggested.

"Hmm... Maybe... Still, a little too obvious, you think?"

"Rut... That means rumpkin ratch is safest place to be."

Shaggy broke out in a grin. "Scoob 'ol buddy 'ol pal 'ol friend, that's brilliant thinking! Let's go!"

They made their way to the nearest pumpkin patch, which happened to be the same one they had investigated just prior to first encountering the Great Pumpkin. Shaggy occasionally glanced up, as they went, confirming that Snoopy and Scootaloo were still following along high above. When they got to their destination, Shaggy and Scooby both sat down, leaning their backs against a large pumpkin. "Like you were right Scoob. This is perfect. We'll just wait here a couple hours, then go back and tell the gang we couldn't find him."

"Rootaroo." Scooby said, realizing the pegasus was still watching from above.

"Hmm, yeah that could be tricky if she rats us out..." Shaggy pondered. "We'll just have to find a way to bribe her."

While they considered ways to do so, Woodstock suddenly flew down and hovered before the duo, chattering. "Romething wrong?" Scooby asked. Woodstock nodded and began chattering and gesticulating, but neither man nor dog could understand.

"Like we're gonna have to do charades." Shaggy said. Understanding, the little bird began pointing up to the sky with one wing, while motioning towards his lap with the other. "Hmmm, um.. Sky? No, the moon? No? Huh, lemme think..." Exasperated, Woodstock started spinning around while making helicopter noises. Shaggy got it. "Scootaloo!"

Woodstock cheered, then started motioning to his eyes. "Rootaroo... Saw romething?" Scooby asked.

The bird nodded, then pantomimed like a stalking monster, and pointed behind the duo. Shaggy swallowed, hard. "Like, I hope you're not saying what I think you're saying... Scooby ol' pal, don't you think this is kind of a really, really big pumpkin we're leaning on...? They turned slowly, and the Great Pumpkin laughed.

"Bwaa Ha Ha!! I have you both now! You've all been very bad this year, and deserve to be punished!" The Great Pumpkin roared, and then it's expression briefly changed to a smile. "Except for you, Woodstock. You've been very good! This is for you." And he handed the tiny bird a wrapped gift box, Woodstock happily tearing off the wrapping paper to reveal an appropriately sized for him winter hat and scarf. "As for the rest of you-" The Monster stopped short as it saw that in the few seconds it had taken to hand over the gift, Shaggy and Scooby were already on the run and gaining a considerable lead. The Great Pumpkin roared again and gave chase...

XXXXX

Meanwhile, high above and unnoticed by the monster, Scootaloo and Snoopy were on the case. They followed close behind the Great Pumpkin, Scootaloo preparing to use her pegasus powers. They followed as Shaggy and Scooby led the Great Pumpkin north, then in a big arc to guide it back south between the fences and into the trap. The Great Pumpkin was getting closer and closer to stepping out onto the frozen pond, and Scootaloo cheered inwardly as she thought to herself "For once a trap plan is going to work right on the first try!" And then Snoopy's ears got tangled up in each other, and with a cry of "AUUUGH!" they fell from the sky.

The good news is, Scootaloo managed to grab Snoopy and flutter her own wings to slow their fall. The bad news is, they landed on the pond directly in front of the Great Pumpkin, and next to Shaggy and Scooby. "Like do it Scoots!" Shaggy whispered.

"I can't! From here it'll send him the wrong way!" Scootaloo hissed back.

"Well we'd better think of something, and fast!" Shaggy said.

The Great Pumpkin scowled at them. "What? Is this a trap!? For me!? How very insincere! Oh, I'll really have to punish you now!"

The monster loomed forward, but as it did so, here came Woodstock, wearing his new hat and scarf, buzzing all around the Great Pumpkin's, well, pumpkin. He was joined by a number of other birds like himself, and they began to annoy the Great Pumpkin who tried to swat them away. As he did so, he took one step too far, out onto the slippery frozen pond, and began to slide. Then Woodstock and another bird used the scarf, holding it at either end, to hook a vine and pull, harder and harder sweeping up Shaggy, Scooby, Scootaloo, and Snoopy as they went, sliding across the pond and tossing the whole mess into the faked pumpkin patch, just under the Kite Eating Tree, allowing the rest of the plan to go as intended.

Kite parts were thrown all over the Great Pumpkin, as it tried to get back up. "You're all very naughty!" It's voice boomed out, "And you will... Wait... Where am I...?" He looked up to see a tree that somehow made a greedy, hungry smile from it's canopy. "No! No! Noooooo!!" The Great Pumpkin wailed, as it was captured, hopelessly ensnared in the tree's branches...

XXXXX

A short time later. Charlie Brown and Snoopy had went all around the neighborhood and gathered up the other kids. Conspicuously absent, however, were any adults. "Shouldn't we be, like, calling the police or something?" Sweetie Belle asked.

Velma explained "Ordinarily yes. But in this case, there's no actual crime. (And besides that, we wouldn't be able to understand them.)"

"Like no crime!?" Shaggy asked, "Weren't they trying to steal Snoopy's Van Gogh?"

Daphne said "In point of fact, no. I mean think about it, it's in a doghouse, with a single occupant who's gone frequently. If these were art thieves they'd just go in and take it, no need to bother with a fake monster scare."

"Exactly." Velma said. "The Van Gogh was a red herring. What wasn't, were the scrap of blue fabric, and the medal. The fabric I recognized as being from a belonging of someone we've already met. And a quick internet search turned up which of the kid's parents earned a Distinguished Service Medal!"

"So, if the Great Pumpkin is a fake then who is it?" Schroder asked.

"Let's find out for sure!" Freddy said, "Shaggy, help me out!" They stepped to either side of the Great Pumpkin, got a good grip, and lifted up, the top half of the Jack O Lantern separating from the bottom half, revealing the inside. There were three control stations, and seated at them were...

"Linus, Franklin, and Peppermint Patty!?" The kids all exclaimed. Charlie Brown let out a "Good grief!" while Marcie ran to Patty saying "Sir! Sir!" and Lucy shook a fist at Linus, yelling "You blockhead! I'm gonna clobber you for this!"

"But why? Why did you do this?" Charlie Brown asked.

"And how did you do it?" Scootaloo added. "I mean, you're like ten! There's no way you built this yourselves!"

Franklin said "I can answer the second question. After he left the Army, my dad got some engineering degrees. We went to him and said we wanted to build something really cool for Halloween and he agreed. Of course, we didn't tell him what it was really for."

"And as for the first question," Linus said, 'We did it for you, Charlie Brown. We're your friends and we were tired of everyone making fun of you and thought that if we scared them enough maybe it would stop."

"Fat chance of that!" Lucy screamed.

"Wow. Y'all just don't learn do ya?" Apple Bloom asked, staring right into Lucy's eyes causing her to blush in embarrassment. Then Snoopy kissed the girl, and she ran away screaming about poison dog lips and iodine.

Velma handed the medal to Franklin. "I think this belongs to your father."

"Oh thank you thank you thank you!" Franklin sighed in relief. " I um, 'borrowed' it, hoping it would be good luck. Dad would kill me if I actually lost it."

Looking at Linus, Scootaloo asked "Aren't you afraid the real 'Great Pumpkin' will be mad at you for this?"

"Nah, I was sincerely trying to help a friend. He'll be impressed not angry." Linus explained. "I just wish my blanket hadn't snagged and torn when I was following you through that pumpkin patch. You might never have figured it out without that clue."

"So how much trouble are we in?" Peppermint Patty asked.

"Oh, I don't think we're gonna do a thing about this one." Velma said. "Just don't pull this kind of thing again!"

Linus smiled. "Okay! Now let's all gather 'round and sing pumpkin carols!" The gang exchanged confused looks regarding just exactly what a pumpkin carol would sound like...

Author's Note

A few notes:
1: For those who may not be familiar with the earlier Peanuts strips, where it was a more common joke, yes, it is canon that Snoopy's doghouse has a massive underground mansion filled with, among other things, a priceless original Van Gogh.

2: Yes, it is indeed also canon that Snoopy can fly under his own power by spinning his ears like helicoptor rotors.

3: While no official answer was ever given for why Marcie calls Patty 'sir,' my own head canon has always been 'army brat, raised by a career military parent who drills proper army decorum and respect into her from an early age.'