Masquerade felt a wave of disappointment wash over her. It was like her heart had been shoved into a blender and set to its highest level. Why was she feeling this way; one might ask. Well, that was because she, Ryan, and Twilight all decided to go out for coffee at Sugar Cube Corner together. In the midst of sitting down and chatting with them, she found out that the human she really liked was already in a relationship with the alicorn princess of friendship.

Her head hung low once she had gathered that depressing bit of information, but she lifted herself back up and put on a strong smile. "I had no idea that you two were together." She said with her fake smile still glued to her face. "I'm so happy for you."

Ryan smiled, not quite taking notice of her distress. "Yeah, we've been going at it for..."

Fuck, I wasn't keeping track!

"Just a little under a month now." Twilight finished, feeling a bit upset that he had forgotten. No matter, it was just the way he was. "Can you believe it?" She asked, looking directly at her mate with glee. "In just a few days it's going to be our one month anniversary!"

"Yeah!" He followed up with a nervous look about him. "Just uh..."

Will you stop this! You're setting yourself up for disaster!

Twilight groaned a bit at this, "It's in-"

"Two days, four hours, thirty six minutes, and twenty-seven seconds!" Came a very high pitched voice that nearly caused the whole table to shit themselves. "Here's your coffee!" The unnaturally bubbly pink mare exclaimed, placing three cups down on the table before bouncing away.

"...Yeah, that!" Ryan said with wide eyes, his brain simply settling on continuing the conversation rather than trying to comprehend what just happened. "So, for the sake of our sanity, let's please change the subject."

The table agreed to his verdict and went on with an entirely new conversation. One that was short lived. The moment Ryan picked up his cup and sipped from it all hell was about to break loose. He spat the liquid out, soaking the table as he threw the cup down.

"What the fuck!?" Ryan yelled, making all eyes within the restaurant turn on to him. His face was starting to turn red as beads of sweat formed on his forehead. "What the hell was in that; A fucking ghost pepper!?" His head darted over to the side upon hearing, what sounded like, two mare giggling just a short distance away. He managed to spot both Pinkie and Rainbow Dash ducking behind the counter to try and hide from him. "Oh...It's on now, bitch!"

He rose up from his seat and stormed out of Sugar Cube Corner with purpose. What he was going to do was unknown to the surrounding ponies, but none of them imagined that it would be good.

Masquerade and Twilight both glanced at each other, shrugging as neither of them could come up with an idea of what he was planning. Seeing no point in ending the trip, the two started talking. They looked like they were getting along too. Each conversation they had usually ended with one, if not both of them, laughing.

Ryan somehow managed to be prepared for anything, his friends never understood how though. His secret; keeping a little bit of everything on him at all times. When he made it back to the castle he charged straight for his room and grabbed the backpack that came with him upon his arrival.

As his hands sifted through the old bag he pulled out a number of different items that he could use to get back at the mares. And when he said he had everything, he meant everything. From survival/medical kits all the way to murder weapons. And, for some of the more special occasions, party supplies.

The human waited patiently behind a tall bush, keeping his eyes on the sky in hopes that the rainbow haired cock-gobbler would appear. When he finally managed to catch sight of the mare, he discreetly followed her all the way to a lone cloud that sat pretty low in the sky. After watching her get comfortable and lay down he prepared himself for action.

From his pocket he pulled out a number of cherry bombs that he had tied together with twine and a small lighter. Upon taking in just how hard he would have to throw it so it would reach her, he lit the fuse. Using all of the strength he deduced would be needed into his throwing arm, he made the small assortment of loud fire crackers soar into the air before getting the fuck outta dodge and sprinting away.

The cherry bombs managed fly right over Rainbow Dash before exploding like a small stick of dynamite. The sound rang through the skies, alerting any ponies standing within a fifty foot radius. The only thing louder than the pop they made was the sounds of the Pegasus screaming out of panic as she fell to the ground hard.

Rainbow pulled herself up from the dirt, brushing off her clothes as she coughed up a bit of smoke that was trapped in her lungs. She looked up to see her napping cloud completely destroyed. The sound of her growl was fierce enough to make even a grown man cower as she uttered the name of the one responsible for this treachery. "Ryan..."

The clock struck three, telling Pinkie that she was no longer on duty for the rest of the day. She hung up her apron, waved to some of the customers, and started skipping to the door. Once she was outside she took in a deep breath of the fresh air. A light breeze brushed across her, making her curly hair lean to the side before going back to its natural form.

With a smile on her face, and a pep in her step, she again started to skip away. However, the moment she left the safety of the restaurant, her fate was sealed. Her feet left the ground and landed on something soft, so soft that it gave away beneath her. With a startled yelp, Pinkie Pie fell into a hole that had been dug just outside of Sugar Cube Corner and a rather deep one at that.

Luckily for her, she managed not to break anything during her fall. The hole was at least ten feet below ground and very dark. The only light in there came from the opening at the top...which slowly faded away as something was pushed over it.

Once the pink mare had fallen into his trap, Ryan slid a thick panel of wood over the hole. It had been pained to look like dirt, as to make it more difficult to see, but for good measure he had collected a number of leaves and torn grass to cover it up with while nopony was looking.

Now that Ryan had her where he wanted her, he prompted to trying to find a way out of there without being seen. The last thing he needed was for ponies to think that he was going around trapping mares. A lot of bad rumors could surface otherwise. He took one last glance around the surrounding area. It didn't look like anypony saw him.

Another job well done! I believe we have earned ourselves a drink, good sir.

The idea didn't sound too bad in his head, so he made his merry little way back to the castle. He had the biggest grin on his face, knowing that he was just minutes away from winning this little war that they had started with him. Sometimes he even amazed himself with how fast he could get things done.

Ryan practically danced up the castle steps, but upon opening the door was met with a sight that he actually seemed pretty scared to run into. Pinkie and Rainbow Dash were standing right inside of the castle, both looking like an absolute mess and very angry, all while aiming a party cannon right at him.

Something tells me that this might hurt.

The cannon fired off, sending the human flying back several feet only to land on a bed of rocks they had laid out for him. "Son of a fuck!" He yelled in agony as confetti fell from the sky. He didn't doubt that they would show up to do something like this, but he wasn't expecting it to be so painful. "Was that really necessary?"

In the blink of an eye, both mares were standing right above him. "It was completely necessary!" Rainbow yelled, "You could have killed me with that stunt you pulled!"

"Correction," He said with his finger raised, "it would have maimed you." Rainbow growled in response, reaching down to grab him by the hair and pulling him back to his feet. "Ow ow ow ow ow!"

Fucking bitch! STOP!!!

Ryan, now back on his feet, watched as Pinkie aimed the cannon at him for the second time today. "Wait! Truce, I call a truce!" He yelled, earning a shocked look from both parties. "You win," He said in a strained voice, trying to get Rainbow's hand out of his hair. "let me go! I can pay you!"

This seemed to peak Rainbow's interest. "How much?"

"I don't have money right now." Those words cost him a few strands of hair as the Pegasus gave it a tug. "Ow, fuck! Just hear me out! I have this thing I've been working on."

In an instant Pinkie was in his face, pressing her dirt covered muzzle against his nose. "What kind of thing?"

Here we go...

"Let's just make this short and simple." He began, speaking as fast as he could. "A while ago the Cake's pissed me off, so I've been working on this milkshake that I thought would be able to put them out of business."

The look on Pinkie's face was beyond terrifying now. She went from just looking angry, to looking like she was ready to burn down an orphanage. "WHAT!?" She shouted with enough volume to pop an eardrum. "How dare you!" Her head shot over to Rainbow, "Pull all of his hair out!"

"Hold on!" He yelled, earning him a few more seconds of explanation. "The recipe is yours so long as you agree to the truce. I've made two so far and if you let me go then their both yours." The earth pony narrowed her eyes at him, once again getting uncomfortably close to his face. "Take them, sell them, burn them, I don't care!" The two ponies locked eye with each other before glancing back at Ryan, who was still struggling to get out of Rainbows grip.

Rainbow released the man and gave him a second to rub his sore head. "We'll think about it." The cyan Pegasus proclaimed, "First, I wanna see them for myself."

Smart girl.

Ryan led the two into the castle and down one of its many hallways. Eventually they walked into an empty room with nothing more than a table in the center with two milkshakes sitting on top of it. "There it is. Have a field day."

Pinkie was the first to dart over to the cups, grabbing one and examining it. "With me being a milkshake expert, I think I'll take the first sip."

Rainbow took a moment to follow her friend, but did so and grabbed the second cup, trying it out for herself. The cool treat hit her tongue and...nothing, It was just an ordinary vanilla milkshake.

"What's so special about these?" She asked in a condescending tone.

"Mine tastes like blueberries!" Pinkie said with delight, her cup already half gone as she turned to face the human standing in the door way. "What did the Cakes do to make you mad anyway?"

Ryan smiled, "Oh, they didn't do anything." He replied with a shrug, "I lied; The Cakes and I are actually pretty cool. I'm not a fan of their kids, but their good ponies."

Rainbow paused for a moment, taking in what he had just said. "Why would you lie about something like that?" Another thought crossed her mind, one that gave her a strange feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach. "And why does Pinkie pie's Milkshake taste like blue berries? Mine was just vanilla."

He shrugged, "I guess I'm just that lucky." As he said this a mischievous grin spread across his face. "She picked up the cup that I was hoping she would grab." He held up an empty can in front of his face, looking it over before tossing it on the floor. "Again, have a field day." And with that Ryan slammed the door shut and locked it.

"Hey!" Rainbow Dash yelled running over to the door and pounding on it like a madmare. "Let us out you jerk!" No response came. She growled for the umpteenth time today before her eyes moved over to the empty can. She stared at it with a look of curiosity as she cautiously picked it up. It was blue with silver writing going across it. "Red Bull?"

Not knowing what the foreign drink was, she decided to get a second opinion. "Pinkie, do you know what-?" She stopped as she caught sight of her friend. Her whole body was shaking rapidly, several strands of her mane shooting out and making it look like a clusterfuck of pink strands. Her pupils were dilated to pinpricks and were shaking around even more than the rest of her. "Are you okay?"

Ryan leaned against the door with his arms crossed, merely listening as the already hyperactive mare fell victim to his real trap. If the human body pumps adrenaline when it registers fear then why wouldn't it do the same to them? So, having that in mind, he set up the perfect method of torture. Hyper mare plus adrenaline, plus energy drink. With all of the screaming, crashing, and loud thuds coming from within, it was starting to sound like an Irish bar fight in there. He almost felt bad for the poor girls...almost.

So about that drink?

"I could go for a shot or two." He said to himself, leaving the two mares to suffer for their crimes while he enjoyed himself.

As he entered the kitchen he heard the front door fly open and slam shut, along with footsteps coming his way. Out of instinct, he prepared himself for a fight by grabbing the first bottle he saw and smashing it on the counter. With his makeshift weapon in hand, he readied himself for an oncoming bloodbath.

Much to his surprise though, it wasn't an intruder. Instead, Twilight came stompping into the kitchen, completely disregarding the human as she pushed past him and dove into the liquor cabinet. He couldn't tell what it was she had grabbed, but she was already sucking it down like a fish.

He wanted to crack some kind of joke about it, but seeing how well that worked last time he thought it best to avoid trying to be humorous. "You alright, sweetheart?"

Twilight pulled the bottle from her lips and closed the cabinet.

"I'm fine." Was all she said as she left the kitchen and walked for the dining room.

Just her tone was enough to tell him that she wasn't fine. The girl sounded pissed, but he didn't know why. Curiosity became his worst enemy as he followed her out and waited for her to sit down at the table.

Ryan rested his arms on the chair beside her, doing his best to read her features. "You wanna talk about it?"

"I said, I'm fine." She huffed before chugging her drink again.

Becoming annoyed with this game, Ryan reached over and took the bottle from her, setting it down just out of her reach. "Clearly you're not. So how about we talk about it and see if we can't fix whatever it is that's bothering you." Her horn started glowing as she used her magic to lift the bottle, only for Ryan to grab it and somehow disperse her magic. "Seriously, what's wrong?"

Twilight only grew more and more irritated when he pried, but with all of the thoughts going through her head she was going to have to talk about it. She had to know. "How long have you known Masquerade?"

Okay, I can already see where this is going. Let's just be honest, answer her questions, and everything should ride out smoothly.

Ryan shrugged, "I met her the first time I went to Ponyville. I bumped into her, we got to talking, had lunch, then I started stripping on the table. You should remember that, you're the one who dragged me out."

Her expression only became more sour at his answer. "Oh, so you can remember all of that, but you can't remember our one month anniversary?"

But then again, she is still female...

Author's Note

I probably shouldn't be saying this here, but I consider you guys friends so why the hell not. I got around to seeing a doctor a while back, and I have good news...and bad news...and more good news.
So if I'm being honest with you guys, I've known about my probelm for a good while now. However, it's severeity is just starting to come to light. I'm just gonna go ahead and give you a list here.
Right Leg: 3 Tumors. One of which is wrapped around my ankle.
Left Leg: 2
Right Arm: 2. One of which is wrapped around my wrist, the other on my tendons.
Left Arm: 1
Chest: 1. Working its way through my ribs and to my heart.
Neck: 1. Slowly curling around my throat.
Head: 1. Already gripping my skull like an anaconda.
Good news; They're not cancerous! Bad news; They're gonna hurt forever and tend to make whatever they're stuck to shut down every so often. So if the ones in my chest, neck, and head keep growing then...I've already sent specific instructions to a friend of mine to let you guys know. I'm not bothering to have them removed because, A; I don't have the money, and B; I've had two removed in the past and they regenerated, duplicated, and grew much larger at a much faster rate.
More good news! I managed to get another chapter done; So yay!

P.S. I'm not gonna stop writing. I appreciate the concern that some of you may have, but really, doing this is all I look forward to anymore. I get so much joy out of writing and being able to entertain people that it helps me forget about literally everything else. Thank you for looking out for me, but I'll be fine. I may not be around for as long as I'd like, but I'll be damned if I let it stop me from doing what I love. I am not going to give up. I've been living with these things for a while now and I'm not going down without a fight! I can't say for sure if I will ever get better, but so long as I live and breathe, you can expect to see more from me. That, my friends, is a promise.

With that being said, if you enjoyed this chapter, slap that like button like a bitch and feel free to leave a comment below. Comments make me feel special :P