Make it stop beep, beep, beep, beeping! I'm going to go insane!

As Ryan's mind had so loudly proclaimed, there was indeed a soft beeping noise coming from somewhere. However, he was too tired to care. His body was sore and aching, if he didn't know any better he would have sworn that he had been hit by a train. That was another experience though, one that left him nearly in pieces.

Keeping his eyes closed to hopefully continue the rest he was getting, which likely wouldn't happen, he thought about what had happened just moments ago. Well, for him at least. He remembered dropping Roland off at home, driving onto the highway, zoning out, then seeing a-

TRUCK!!!

Ryan screamed as his eyes shot open. He quickly sat up and started scanning the room around him as fast as he could. Realizing that he was no longer in danger, he took a breath and pushed himself back on the bed he was laying in so he could lean against the head board. He scratched at his head, letting his fingers run through his messy hair, picking up a greasy texture as he did so.

"What the fuck..." He muttered to no one in particular. "What happened?"

Well by all rights you should probably be dead. But, I'm pretty sure you're in a hospital.

After reanalyzing the room he came to discover that he actually was in a hospital. He was in a small white room with one large window. There were two doors, one was opened that revealed a bathroom, the other was closed and could easily be assumed was an exit. The beeping noise came from a monitor sitting by his bed and it was getting extremely annoying at a very quick rate.

Like any sensible person, when something becomes too frustrating to deal with, he threw it to the ground before removing a the sensor from his body as well as the IV. This wasn't the first time he had been held up in a hospital, so he knew how to get out of most of the crap they'd attach to you.

Ignoring the pain in his everywhere, he made his way over to the bathroom. What probably upset him the most was that, whenever you go to the hospital, they give you a tissue paper thin dress to trudge around in. First off, it's just embarrassing to wear; secondly, it's cold as balls in those things.

After draining his bladder and going to the sink to splash some water on his face, he looked over himself in the mirror. Despite a few cuts and bruises he was in pretty good shape. This surprised him. The fact that he was alive was already a miracle, so this seemed nearly impossible.

With that done he went back into the room to find a nurse standing at the door with a rather peeved looking expression on her face. At least, he assumed it was a nurse given the outfit. Everything else about her was currently making his brain hemorrhage. She was about as tall as him with what looked like white fur covering her body. She had a very small, but prominent muzzle on her face and-

A FUCKING SPEAR STICKING OUT OF HER SKULL!!!

He froze, unsure of how to react to this thing standing in front of him. Maybe he wasn't as okay as he had thought. There's always the chance that he bumped his head a little too hard and was now hallucinating.

"Sir," The nurse spoke, making Ryan's already confused mind spasm several times more. "you shouldn't be out of bed. And, you definitely shouldn't be taking out your IV on your own and breaking our monitors."

"Uhuh..." Deciding to ignore the fact that this woman looked like a weird cross between a human and a fucking unicorn, he brushed passed her and made his way over to a small closet beside the window.

Upon opening it he found his clothes stored within; a black sleeves shirt, a pair of dark blue jeans, and a pair of running shoes. The shirt had a few holes near the waist line, but that didn't other him. It also appeared to be the only amount of damage done to his attire. Sitting at the bottom of the closet was a small brown backpack with only one strap that goes across one's torso.

With everything seeming to be in order he stripped out of the hospital tissue-dress and started throwing on his actual clothes. He had only managed to get his pants on when the nurse made her way over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Sir, you need to get back into bed." She said with a somewhat worried tone. "You were in a-"

"Nope." He simply replied, cutting her off without a care. "Sorry sweetheart, but I got a friend to pick up and a job to get to. So you can eat my-"

"I do not believe you will be finding much luck with that." Another voice picked up from behind him. Only this one carried much more authority with it.

Ryan turned around and came face to face with another one of these strange women, but this one was different. She was slightly taller than him and had blue fur all over her body. Her hair looked like some sort of digital representation of the night sky that flowed in a nonexistent breeze. She wore a very regal looking dark blue dress and, as with the other one, she had a horn, but on top of that she had wings...

Dorothy, we are NOT in Kansas anymore.

Luna stood before this rather bizzar looking creature in a stance that made her look nearly as stoic as her guards. Her eyes scanned his alien form, taking in every detail of his body. He had a nice build to him, a tightened stomach and some strong looking biceps. There was some kind of strange marking on his chest, but she couldn't seem to make heads or tails of it. Throughout her analyzing she found no trace of magic in him, dark or otherwise.

If it weren't for the obvious physical differences between them, one could possibly mistake him as an earth pony. One that had shaved all of their fur off and had tan skin. That being said, he didn't really look like a threat either.

The silence between them was almost cancerous as they eyed each other, one not knowing what the other is, and the other not knowing how much more their sanity could take.

Finally, Ryan cracked under the pressure. "Okay...What. The fuck. Are you!?"

"I could ask you the same thing." Luna responded with a reserved tone.

Ryan had no reserve left, at this point he looked and sounded like he was panicking. Which was likely because he is panicking. "Don't play that fucking game with me! What happened!? Why am I not dead!? Where in all of cock guzzling hell am I!? BRAIN!"

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

"SILENCE!!!" Luna shouted in her Royal Canterlot voice, nearly making the window shatter from just the sheer force of her pitch. This, of course, stunned the human silent. "You must calm yourself."

"I will be calm." He said in a soft tone, only to raise it once again. "As soon as I get some fucking answers! This is almost as bad as my first time dropping acid."

At least we got off doing that.

Luna crossed her arms at this. "Very well then." She turned her head to face the entrance of the room. "Twilight, you may enter now."

So then another one of these things entered the room. This one was probably a few inches shorter than the nurse. Just like the woman in front of him, she had wings and a horn. Her fur was a light shade of purple and she wore what looked kind of like some sort of school-girl outfit. Like the ones that they wear in catholic schools, not the whores on Halloween.

Twilight nervously made her way over to Luna and Ryan, forcing a smile on her face that clearly wasn't sincere. She had a guilty look about her for some reason.

"Twilight," Luna began, "I believe you may be better suited for explaining to our friend how he got here."

Ryan glared at the short mare, having some sort of hunch that she was responsible for this some how. Twilight tried to avert her eyes from him as to avoid his gaze as she started. "Well, you see-"

Several Hours Later

Ryan sat on the hospital bed, fully clothed mind you, listening intently to Twilight's story. It started off with a brief history lesson on where he was, the things that were around him, and then finally how he got here. Apparently this little princess was some kind of pervert. From what he picked up on she was looking for a romantic partner and found a way to cast a spell to help summon, what should have been another pony, her ideal mate.

What the fuck, dude?

"Then you passed out so me and my friends pulled you out of that big metal monster and brought you here; Ponyville General Hospital." She took a breath as she finally finished telling him both, what he wanted to know, and what he needed to know since he was here. However, when she focused back onto him he seemed to be off in his own little world. "Are you okay?"

"I think I'm developing stress hemorrhoids..."

Twilight's face cringed. This creature sure does have a weird sense of humor. At least, she hopes that's his sense of humor and that he's not actually developing medical issues. "I can't tell if you're being serious or not."

"Nope, those have been there for a while." Again her face contorted in disgust as he spoke before jumping off of the bed. "Okay, so I'm here in this weird ass place. I have no idea what the hell to do next."

Before Twilight could answer a doctor entered the room holding a needle. His eyes widened upon seeing one of the princesses standing beside the creature that was brought in just a few days ago. He knew Luna had stopped by, but did not have the pleasure of meeting her.

"Hello, your highness." He said with a bow, "I'm just here to give our friend here a shot to help him sleep."

"Excuse you." Ryan said in a defensive tone. He didn't mind needles, but being forced to sleep seemed a bit extreme. "Why are you trying to put me to sleep?"

The doctor rose from his bow and turned his attention to the human. "Well, you seemed to be ignoring our nurse, breaking our equipment, and trying to leave before your release date. You can either get back in your bed willingly or we will be forced to make you."

Ryan had a somewhat extensive knowledge on medicine, what with some of his family being drug addicts, and several google searches, which is what provoked him to ask, "What's in that needle."

"Enough ketamine to put down a stallion twice your size." The doctor replied with a smile, feeling as though there was no way he was going to lose in this situation.

Did he just say ketamine? This motherfucker is going to give us liquid cocaine!

He nodded his head at the doctor. "Nope, bad move buddy. Not sure if you know this but our biology doesn't work the same. You stick me with that thing it'll be like pumping me full of adrenaline."

Twilight raised a brow at this as her curiosity kicked. "What do you mean?"

"We have ketamine in my world." He explained, "We use it to sedate mammals and reptiles, but using it on a human has the exact opposite effect. It causes us to go into an extreme state of euphoria and hyperactivity with some very fucked up side effects."

"Like what?"

"Like; psychosis, internal bleeding, permanent brain damage, and death." Ryan looked over at the doctor who seemed to be losing his victorious smirk. "So just try to stick me with that. Not only will I go into a full on rampage with limitless energy, but I could die. You want that blood on your hands?"

The doctor thought about several different ways to defend himself. "I was just trying to help..."

"Well help yourself to the fucking door, asshole!" He snapped, "Go on, get out of here. Don't make me come over there and suck your dick."

The whole room shifted from a state of concern to shock and disgust. The doctor didn't say another word as he turned around and left the room.

Twilight stared at the human, awestruck with how he had spoken to a pony who was trying to help him. Sure, the drug may not have had the intended effect on his species. But, he had good intentions. The questioned that buzzed around in her brain most of all though, "Why did you just threaten to suck his...you know?"

Ryan shrugged, "It's a thing I came up with a few years back. You say something like that to a straight guy then they will immediately back off. I used to threaten to kiss them because some guys would call me out on those threats and I had no problem kissing a guy. This one just seems much more effective."

"...Okay then..." How is this my perfect mate, she wondered. First off, they weren't even the same species. Secondly, he was very crude and, so far, disgusting beyond comprehension. Ponies don't typically use language like that, most of them had been raised better. It was rare just to hear somepony even utter the word peeved.

Maybe she did something wrong with the spell. She would have to go back through it and figure out any errors that she may have made in the process. However, her first priority needed to be this creature that she had brought into her world.

Upon summoning him, and shortly after delivering him to the hospital, she contacted the princesses seeking their aid. They told her that they would do what they could, but he was her responsibility. As a princess she must own up to her mistakes and start correcting them on her own. She was soon pulled out of her thoughts as she heard someone yelling just outside of the room.

"Ow! Whoever threw that is about to get the ass whooping of a lifetime! And, don't you dare think for a second that, that threat isn't sexual!" Ryan shouted.

Twilight buried her head in her hands. This was going to be a very long day.

This place is fucking huge!

Ryan looked around the castle's interior in awe. This place was bigger than any building he had ever seen. The fact that it appeared to be made of crystals just added confusion to admiration. It was a terrible look for the place. "You ever think about just making this place out of wood? I can imagine it being much easier than whatever the hell they had to do for this."

Twilight stood just a few feet behind Ryan, watching him scan the castle with a look that seemed to be a mix of admiration and disgust. How he managed to pull that off was a complete mystery to her. "Actually, nopony built this castle."

He shot her an odd glare. "What? You expect me to believe this place just came out of the fucking ground like some kind of tree?"

"Well...it kind of did." She said with a smile.

His glare didn't change, in fact it appeared to become much more concentrated. "What drugs are you on?"

She recoiled slightly from his accusation. "I'm not on any-!"

By the time she had gone to reply, Ryan had already walked off into another room. "Hey, where's the liquor cabinet? I just got sucked into another world by things that science cannot explain and I need a fucking drink to help me calm down! I can't handle this shit on my own!"

Twilight could already feel the headaches to come prepping themselves for the oncoming shit-storm that this human was about to bring into her home.

"At least things can't get any worse." She muttered to herself. With that thought in mind she took a calming breath to relax herself. A soft smile graced her lips as she let her stresses float away like a bag in the wind.

That smile quickly reverted back to a frown as her ears were graced with the sound of several objects shattering in the distance. So much for things not getting any worse. "I didn't do it!"

You fucked up!

And here comes the migraine. Twilight decided just to call it a night and go to bed early. She was not ready to deal with this today. Leaving the human to do whatever the hell he wanted, she made her way back to her room. The vehicle had been removed about a day after they had taken the human to the hospital. Now all that was left was to fix the walls and her door.

However, that could also wait until tomorrow. Right now, all she wanted was to go to bed and not think about the tortures to come with having that thing living with her. She threw off most of her clothes and put on a very loose purple pajama shirt and pants. After that, she climbed into her bed, snuggling up against the covers as she let herself drift off to sleep.

Later that night she was slightly stirred from her sleep as her bed started moving around, but instantly dozed back off when her body became overwhelmed with a newfound warmth overtaking her form.

Author's Note

Personally, I feel like I could have done better here. However, my creative juices seem to be moving a little slow lately. So for that I apologize.

As always, if you like this story, share it with your friends and feel free to leave a comment below. Comments make me feel special. :P