Author's Note

Decided to get this out early. I'm kind of rushing to get through a lot, I have too much going on. I'm sorry for fucking the schedule, but it needed to be finished now! Otherwise you likely wouldn't see it for another month or so.

Optional- Read this s**t!

REDMAMBA: Twilight, stupidest thing your mate dragged you into? Either literal or convinced willingly?

Twilight lifted her head from her book, taking off her glasses and placing a finger to her chin as she sat in a cozy brown recliner. She let dozens, if not hundreds, of thoughts and memories course through her head as she tried to shuffle out which of her adventures with Ryan would be dubbed the 'stupidest'.

"Honestly," She began, feeling a little undecided. "there have been a lot of thing that Ryan has dragged me into, both literally and figuratively...Mostly literally, that haven't been as well-thought out as they should've."

A soft smile worked its way to her face as she recalled the many times he had grabbed her by the arm and simply said, 'We gotta go!' as he pulled her off to Celestia knows where. "But, if I had to choose one; I would say that one of the stupidest things Ryan has gotten me involved in, was when he got drunk and was dared to wrestle an alligator...and I fell into the lake trying to stop him."

Twilight shuddered at the memory, remembering how scared she was when she fell into the water. Luckily, Ryan came to the rescue. Diving onto the beast and punching it, only for it to roll over and start thrashing him around like a ragdoll. "He nearly lost one of his arms that day." She finished in an unsettled tone.

A much deeper voice could be heard chuckling in the background. "That was fucking great...hurt like a bitch, but it was fucking hysterical!"

stephen51991- Twilight and Ryan: What's the top three kinkiest things you've ever done?

Twilight blushed at this question, her head shooting over to Ryan, who was laying on the floor, using his hands as a make-shift pillow. She was extremely uncomfortable with what was being asked, but knew he would spit it out in a heartbeat. Her horn started to glow as she tried to silence him, but her magic was dispersed with a flick of his wrist.

"When you've been around as long as we have..." Ryan began.

"Please don't..." Twilight pleaded, her expression showing just how embarrassed she was.

"You tend to try a lot of things to keep sex interesting." He continued, causing Twilight burry her face in her palms as her face turned beat red. Ryan laughed at this, deciding he had tortured her enough. "Okay, I'm not going to go into too much detail, for my mare's sake. But, I think our top three would have to be: Bondage, that's a favorite. Domination, believe it or not, Twilight really enjoys being in charge." The human's head angled itself to his alicorn mate, "Aint that right, mistress?"

Twilight, keeping hear face hidden, scooted her body further into the chair, almost as if to merge with it so she could remain hidden forever.

Ryan laughed, "And last, but not least..."

GameAssassin: Twi and Ryan: Have you done anal???

A sly grin spread across Ryan's face. Twilight, on the other hand, merely curled up into a ball and squeaked in misery as she attempted to force herself deeper into the chair.

CaioCoia: Spike what happened to you after you saw your sister with Ryan having brutal sex? Because that was the last time we saw you. I hope you asked him to teach you how to make your mare happy in the bed if you want to do that with somepony you like.

Spike let out a sigh, doing his best to fight back the memories of watching Twilight getting plowed on the castle floor. This was an event that left him pretty conflicted with how he should feel about the human. On one hand he was basically violating her, but on the other, she was enjoying it more than anything in the world.

He raised a claw to scratch at his head as he pondered how to answer. "Well...After seeing it happen, I kind of secluded myself for a bit. I mean, it wasn't something I was expecting to see while I was trying to clean under the tables. While I'm not particularly happy about it, I can't say I'm really mad. As long as Twilight's happy, right?"

"As for not seeing me, that goes mainly to the fact that I felt really uncomfortable being around either of them for more than a few minutes." He explained, "Kind of hard to look somepony in the eye when all you see is them being rutted in your home."

He took a moment of silence to himself before continuing. "And, I guess if it came down to it, I could always ask Ryan how everything works. You know, for when Rarity finally falls for me." He said commented with a cocky smile. "He is basically my brother-in-law, so it's not too weird...is it?"

Tethered-Angel: Rarity, did Ryan let you design his wedding outfit.

"No, he didn't!" She answered loudly from her boutique, sounding pretty pissed about the situation. "I offered, time and time again, but he refused to let me make him a the most dapper tuxedo for their wedding."

Rarity levitated a dart up to her hand and took aim, "Seriously, it's a wedding, you're supposed to look stunning! Not like you went over to GoodPone and bought the cheapest suit you could throw together in pieces."

She threw the dart, burying its tip into a photo on the wall. In this photo, Ryan and Twilight stood sided by side, flashing goofy faces at the camera. Despite the distance, the mare was able to hit Ryan directly in the forehead before crossing her arms and huffing at no pony in particular. "Jerk..."

Tethered-Angel: Ryan and Twilight; Have you ever tried to convince anyone to join you in a threesome?

This question happened to come up at dinner, while the two were sitting in a rather romantic setting. The table was decorated with a red cloth and covered with candles and a small bouquet of roses in the center. They sat across from each other, both dressed up in a way that could appeal to the other.

Ryan donned a pair of black slacks and a white dress shirt that had its sleeves rolled up and a majority of its buttons undone. On top of that, his hair was styled in a way that looked kempt, but still spikey and rigid.

Twilight wore a thin black dress with a neck line that cut all the way down to her slim stomach. Her hair was tied back in a pony tail that Ryan couldn't help but find attractive. In his eyes it kind of gave her that sexy librarian look.

The two gazed at each other with sultry looks as the human poured his mare a glass of red wine and handed it off to her before pouring one for himself.

Just as they were about to take a sip, Ryan glanced up, noticing the floating text above his head. He let out an annoyed sigh and set down his glass, Twilight soon following suit as she followed his eyes and spotted it as well.

"God dammit..." Ryan began, closing his eyes and pressing his index finger and thumb into them. "No, we have not convinced anyone to join us for a threesome."

"Nor do we want to." Twilight added. "Ryan and I are perfectly happy with just each other and have more than enough ways to keep our sex life interesting without adding other ponies." She explained with a hint of venom in her voice. "Now, if you'll excuse us..."

The couple went back to their previous arrangement, gazing into each other eyes and sharing a look of arousal. They each picked up their individual wine glasses and clicked them against each other before sipping from them.

Cloud Dawn: Ryan, did you ever dream of fucking Luna? Even though you are with twilight I wouldn't be surprised.

Ryan spit out what wine he had in his mouth, choking on the alcoholic beverage; and luckily managing to not hit Twilight. He coughed several times to clear his throat and lung of the fluid as Twilight got up from her seat and ran to his aid. "Are you okay?"

He felt her patting his back but waved a dismissive arm at her, "I'm fine, I'm fine." After his coughing fit had ended, he focused back to the text. "What kind of fucking question is that?"

Well it's not like we haven't.

Twilight's eyes went wide, her body freezing in place for a brief second before her head slowly turned toward Ryan. "Excuse me?" She growled at him.

Fuck, I forgot she could hear me!

"Uhh..." Ryan quickly grabbed his wine glass, splashing what was left of it onto Twilight's face and bolting out of the room, all while making some kind of strange noise that she couldn't identify.

Vinyldropsthebase: Ryan did you ever officially apologize to granny? I know Twilight should have made you.

Twilight let out a rather annoyed sigh, wiping the liquid from her face as the next text arrived. "No, he hasn't. One of the many things I'm still working on is getting him to start apologizing for his actions." She explained grumpily. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a very naughty pet to reprimand."

GameAssassin: Masquerade, where are you now and what have you been doing?

The blue haired mare looked up from the counter in her kitchen. At first she was cutting vegetables for a salad she was preparing, now she was looking up at a floating text just above her head. Obviously, confusion started setting in rather quickly. Rather than question it, however, she figured it would be easier to satisfy whatever was trying to communicate with her as quickly as possible.

"I'm fine..." She stated, feeling rather uncomfortable with this whole situation. "I'm at home, getting ready for a small get-together with my family."

Skye787: Uhhh you've been taking a lot of punishment lately. You okay gran-gran?

"Now what in Equestria is that about?" Granny Smith asked to no one in particular, her eyes locked onto the text above her as she sat outside in a rocking chair.

Applejack walked out of the house, Howdy, Gran-" She let out a pained yelp as her head collided with the floating text. "What in tarnation?" She asked, looking over what she had run into. "Oh, it's one of those things. Twilight said something about weird questions popping up at random."

"She did, did she?" Granny smith inquired. "Well, I certainly don't see the harm in answering 'em." She looked over the text to re-read it, already having forgotten what it said earlier.

The old mare smiled and leaned back in her chair, "Oh, don't you go worryin about me. I may be old, but I can handle myself."

"She sure as sugar can." Applejack added with a proud smile. "Granny Smith is tougher than an apple tree. It'll take a lot more than a few projectiles to take her down."

The word 'punishment' in the text started to flicker like a bad lightbulb, even buzzing a few times as it struggled to stay as it was. Eventually it gave out, going dim and even falling from the air and landing on the elderly pony beneath it.

GameAssassin: Luna, how have things been for you after your confrontation with Ryan?

Luna shifted her vision from the paperwork that had slaughtered her desk, using her hands to rub her temples in an attempt to kill a rather painful headache. Her sights moved up a bit, allowing her to see the question being asked, as well as the avatar of a small blue horse with an ethereal mane and her cutie mark.

"Is that me as a horse?" She asked, confused at first, but soon finding herself smiling. "I look so cute." She said with a small laugh before glancing down at her paperwork and using her magic to make it vanish into thin air.

Having experience with otherworldly phenomenon, Luna knew very well what was going on and was more than happy to oblige with an answer. "Things have been well since my meeting with Ryan. In his short amount of time here, he actually taught me a lot on loving one's self and appreciating who you are. I'd like to say I'm not the same mare I used to be, but even I know that a transformation like that takes time."

"I would love to meet him in person again, but he doesn't have many reasons to come by." Luna explained, her eyes quickly scanning the room to make sure no pony was near. "But, I have visited him in a few of his dreams and...well, let's just say that I indulged myself a bit." She added with a cutesy smile and blush.

"Oh really?" Luna jumped slightly as the door to her office opened, revealing a not-so-pleased looking Twilight on the other side.

Luna let out a nervous chuckle as she stared at the very displeased alicorn standing just a few feet from her. She glanced to the sides again, her horn quickly lighting up and sending a whirlpool of paperwork in Twilight's direction.

Twilight yelped and collapsed as she was tackled by the seemingly never ending tidal wave of paper, allowing the lunar princess more than enough time to take flight and smash through a nearby window that led outside.

Questions for the author

GameAssassin: How are you doing bro? Don't want you kicking the bucket anytime soon. Your too hilarious to die yet!! Also what do you have planed for the near future? Any thoughts on digging out bad hero's corpse and reviving it? As well as next perfect mate installment?

Lord_Evil: I'm still breathing, motherfucker; So I'm doing pretty good. Not quite 100%, but I'll get there in time. As for my plans, I would like to play around with The Bad Hero again. I can't say it will be fast or on a schedule, but I will dabble. I would like to get another story that I've had hidden for a while out, but I'm still debating that. I'm also not quite sure when I will be releasing The Perfect Mate; Celestial Trials, as that is also still in the works and I'm still trying to touch base with it. So at this point, everything is a gigantic fucking question mark.

Crystal Static: Why was the ending so rushed?

Lord_Evil: Was it really that obvious? Yeah, it probably was. Anyway, it was rushed because there are several things that I'm on a schedule for so I wanted to get it done and out of the way as soon as possible. I know it messes with the natural flow of the story when you do that, but all I could have done at that point was make it look as decent as possible or end up not doing jack-dick with it for the next month or so because I'm rushing to get shit done.