Rainbow Dash ISN'T gay

by Feast

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Slice of Life
Length: 896

Rainbow Dash comes out as straight.

This story is not proofread by a professional, nor is it a "project." This is a story for me to practice some issues I have with writing. Feedback is appreciated.

Rainbow Dash isn't gay…

So why do ponies keep assuming she is?

Contains some minor opinions about religion.

Rated 'Sex' for 'Sexuality', not 'Clop'.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-07-31 05:20:01 UTC

You think I'm WHAT?

"Oh it is absolutely lovely today, isn't Twilight?" Rarity said with a smile. She, Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Fluttershy all were enjoying a picnic together ontop of a small, grassy hill under a tiny tree in the outskirts of Ponyville. The sun was high overhead and magnificent white clouds dotted the bright blue sky. It certainly was a lovely day.

"Sure is, Rarity." Twilight said and looked back at her other friends. Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy were stuffing themselves with the apple pie Applejack had brought, Rainbow Dash and Applejack were playing a game with the ball they had found earlier on the way up the hill, and Twilight and Rarity were relaxing under the sun.

"So Twilight," Rarity began and turned towards the Alicorn. "Have you done anything new recently?"

Twilight remained turned towards the sun. "Why yes, actually."

"Oh?"

"Birdwatching."

Rarity immediately sat up. "Birdwatching?!"

"Yes," Twilight said. "Birdwatching."

"Why, of all things, would you engage in birdwatching?" Rarity squinted.

Twilight turned towards Rarity. "It's fun. Why? What's wrong with it?"

"It's just so... So-" But before Rarity could continue, she was interrupted by a loud commotion at the bottom of the hill and on the road. Twilight and Rarity looked down to see what all of the noise was about.

"Hey look, it's a pride parade..." Twilight pointed.

"Hey what's with all the noise?" Rainbow Dash yelled from where she and Applejack were playing.

"It's a parade!" Twilight shouted back.

"Oh cool!" Rainbow and Applejack stopped playing and rushed over to see.

"See, look." Twilight pointed down the hill.

"Oh, wow..." Rainbow stared. "That's pretty large..."

"Pinkie, Flutters, come on here and watch this parade with us!" Applejack shouted. Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy stopped eating and walked over to where everypony was grouped together. When Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy finally arrived, they all laid down and watched the parade go by.

The parade itself was amazing. Ponies were holding rainbow-striped flags and large signs, and everypony was covered in rainbow paint. There were ponies of all sizes and genders walking along the streets of Ponyville with large smiles on their faces. The size of the parade itself was enormous, stretching from way beyond the town to Twilight's castle.

It really seemed like nothing could stop this march of ponies...

And now that I've said that...

"FAGS!"

At the bottom of the hill stood a large collective of Christians.

Yes, there is Chrsitainity in Equestria.

No, don't ask how it works, or where the churches are.

Twilight and her friends looked down at the group of Christians. They held up signs, as well, and were busy trying to terrorize the ponies that marched in the parade. They were not, however, succeeding.

Applejack shook her head. "It's dumb that they have to go 'round embarrassin' our religion..."

"I never noticed how harsh they can be..." Twilight mused. "Are most Christians like this?"

"Naw, but a good few. You run into one every so often."

"Oh it must be terrible for someone like you, Rainbow Dash." Rarity said.

"What do you mean?" Rainbow replied.

"Well with you being... You know..."

"Being what?" Rainbow asked curiously.

"You know... You being gay and all."

"You think I'm WHAT?" Rainbow exclaimed.

"Wait," Twilight turned around. "You mean you aren't gay?"

"NO!"

Twilight stared for a second and then said, "Really?"

"YES!" Rainbow shouted and stood up. "Why would you think I'm gay?"

"Well...um you... Do have rainbow hair..." Fluttershy said quietly, tapping her hooves together.

"And you are into boy things like racing and sports and all kinds of stuff." Pinkie said.

"What? So that makes me gay? Rainbow hair and going fast?" Rainbow asked. The group awkwardly looked at each other.

"I-I guess we just assumed... That..." Twilight began.

Rainbow sighed. "Here... Uh... Hold on..." Rainbow flipped open the picnic basket and started looking for something. After a few seconds, she pulled out two pieces of cheese. "Okay..." She began. "This," Rainbow held up the cheese in her left hoof. "Is swiss cheese. This," Rainboe held up the cheese in her right hoof. "Is... Actually I have no idea what kind if cheese this is... But that's not important." Rainbow then went over to Rarity and plopped the unidentifiable cheese on her head and through her horn.

"Hey!" Rarity protested, only to be "Shhh!"ed by Rainbow Dash, who pushed the cheese through her horn many times. After about seven pushes, she stopped and held up the unidentifiable cheese next to the Swiss Cheese.

"These cheeses look the same, right? But they actually taste differe-"

"Okay, Rainbow, we get it." Twilight said with a sigh. "We're sorry, we just assumed..."

"It's cool, Twi." Rainbow said. "I forgive you guys."

"Guess we shouldn't have gone thinkin' things about you like that. It's kinda serious..." Applejack rubbed the back of her head. "And if we do, guess we shouldn't bring it up..."

"We're sorry..." Fluttershy said quietly with her head down.

"You don't need to be... Just kinda shocked me, is all..." Rainbow said and laid down with the rest of the gang.

And with that, the six ponies watched as the giant yellow sun in the sky transformed from a bright yellow to a dark orange and sunk under the horizon.

"Oh it is absolutely lovely tonight, isn't Twilight?"

"Sure is, Rarity."