Autophobiaby Ice StarChaptersFlightHoofstepsMountainsHeroDivision Limitations SnowLucidInkClarityEmptyHistoryMillenniumLiving CorpseCanterloteBeforeLuckyFlightup north it's where She heads all alone it's where She led the little ponies from She wasn't alone then the snow almost warms Her She just tries She tries so hard for once She doesn't want to think blank She tries to make Herself blank numb but She can never forget never close Her eyes without seeing Her sister scream again why doesn't the smile falter losing She didn't win nopony did they all lost She can't find the black and white She wishes it was there She wishes it was nothing She gives up after a while there's so much quiet here in the sky She hates it or She could if She could still burn still feel right after all this Her throat is too sore to sing a short trip alone to prepare her for everything that comes after day after day night after night this occasion is but a little slice of history and history repeats day after day night after night She doesn't sleep She doesn't want to see her She wants to see her confusion fades into nothing at all as She sits in the snow alone day after day night after night Hoofstepssnow tries to hinder Her ice flies through Her mane until even She can't see the colors as She makes Her way north it's just like it was before they learned of a king in a shining empire and sealed him in ice their fillyhood friend usurped their nation after they thought they'd never see him again and the statue in canterlote was testament enough to what happened after before the elements the moon she only screams in memories now it's nothing like before two little fillies if they were so alone how had they been so happy the questions are like the snow they flow around Her She can't make them go away but She ignores each and every one just so She might press on She won't look back not yet She's not there yet it's been centuries since She's been there the land of false smiles where laughter was unheard of kindness too generosity never without a price honesty foreign loyalty blind magic barren wasted squandered twisted She remembers how She had been there how She had smiled like them how She had thought like them how She had believed it all the snow is like the questions She can ignore it all but it will still eat at Her hoofstep after hoofstep it feels like more of Her is vanishing all over again in this cold shell of a god could any kindness bloom Mountainsjust over the horizon She sees the tell-tale sign the great barrier north of all of equestria the waste where a crystal land was torn off the map the fledgling nation of trotland the only thing farther into this hateful harmony-lacking waste is the true valley of the tribes not the wizard's little slice rotting away like the rest of history that She wants to forget and almost did vicious rock that tries to separate Her from answers it cuts Her legs until the blood is numbed like the rest of Her hours upon hours of walking stopping wanting to turn back She falls to the ground when she reaches a point where one as tall as Her can look and see all She remembers too and that's what breaks the ice at least for now Her raw scream is lost in the wind but She finally cries again Heroshining bright what he never was in life he was after fame glory he was legend all for nothing a life that fades into obscurity details blurred like the horizon in a storm a home in the mountains so far north where all is in ruins where lives crumbled with the houses they lived in until it was only the skeletons of rooms that remained buried under the snow ashes to ashes dust to dust here was the hero who thought of none but his ambitions who never laughed never smiled once and was never modest enough to at least be apathetic to everpony else's woe he scribbled magic that would never be complete and was as above the stagnant minds of the peasants of that day like the stars were to the clouds in his tower home where the sun princess aimed to go there had lived four youths in shared misery together in name only they shared only the valley in which they were trapped the green maned errand filly who only ever bowed her head to stare at the mud her hood hid her mane which drew so many gazes and she only wanted to fade two little goddesses drifting apart one to the shadows where she saw only what was and what could be all the sadness to come she worried alone trying to live cast into the shadows the princess of the dark before she was even crowned the other saw only what She wanted a shining kingdom to be ponies to talk to once again a place to define Herself a place to forget and a place to belong She believed what She was told abided by the rules only wanting to build a kingdom to thaw these frozen hearts while Her own froze over the broken pieces sealed but not mended this was the hero this bearded wizard, who only influenced Her own petty behavior furthered each wasted smile She made for the crown and every blind move that led to Her current state alone Her sight restored but She was oh so alone the wizard with a belled cap was anything but Division Division separation by another name invisible walls to keep them apart and keep them away from the world a barrier to block their powers as soon as the two tired fillies had stepped inside weed out the possibility of escape cage them in a little valley the wizard would keep the little goddesses their horns and wings Her waving mane marked them as trophies burdens ignored experiments and nothing more pieces to ponder mysteries to boast of of course she noticed first the charm that made them dizzy while standing still so even the snow seemed to fly crooked her eyes, such perceptive things the color of neither daytime sky or the world in bloom those eyes that saw something beyond what was in front of them they picked up on everything first the paths of escape, the concealed exits she first knew that the wizard had cast a charm to steal the escape from their minds swirl the memory like the stars in his mark a short frantic scream the bluebird of happiness seeing their invisible cage shouted her accusations at the wizard for bringing them here at Her for allowing it to happen wings unfurled she took off for the clouds for the mountains for anywhere but where they were quicker than any eye could follow a rebellious bolt of lightning fierce and bright charging the air longing for her feral freedom she slammed into a wall unseen by all but her freedom loving heart little blue angel feathers burned black at the edges falls to the ground crying out when she's grounded once again sides mottled with purple bruises pebble-inflicted cuts broken feathers trampled into the stone she looked at Her with tears in her eyes which asked all the questions that She had no answer too her mouth hurling the truth at them both long before She would ever know it liar bigot hero the wizard he rises above the sun who can hardly stutter out a few words of speechless comfort to the defiant one this wizard was all they had he took them in where others had cast them out he looms over Her, She who has no crown to shield Her to protect anything anymore braces for all the raging shouts that he yells into the snow-filled air he tells Her to make that one be quiet she's too injured to fly, her legs are streaked with blood to this day She cannot understand how she found the strength to stand to endure anything so cruel because She didn't before Her eyes, clouding Her heart, Her mind, every part of Her She sees the little shadow that She loved that She shielded that She took everything for the little shadow who still had hopes and dreams intact even when she could barely stand She didn't dream She was a good filly She did what She was told She forgot Herself She wanted a life all Her own thin gold thread, little ray of sunlight takes no more forgets everything in one moment a furious scream from the bearded stallion is all it takes to wedge each little bit of Her distant heart apart once and for all to make Her cave into the little voices that She always held at bay doubts whispers anything but the truth it's why She listened to them in the first place She doesn't need any more encouragement nothing matters there's too much crying too much screaming all Her little voices chant on and on Her hoof is already flying as the wizard's cry rings out: "EITHER YOU HIT HER OR I DO!" ugly furious words followed by an angry shriek of Her own angry twisted guttural thing that dwarfs a dragon's roar in Her clouded mind eyes that now see past the bruise on the little shadow's face only a shadow go the little whispers She'll bury when She sleeps she's only a shadow now you're finally free free of what they never said She never stopped to ask but She still remembers the dreaded howl of everything to come Her shadow's pained call heralding the misery and despair which like the snow would surround them all it was the memory of the wolves who in their forest echoed that call immediately after the elder's silhouette overshadowed the screaming angel the whole valley shook in the present moment She stared at the hole She had burned in the centuries old wall as clear as glass and as strong as hate She was here again the temporary puncture closing behind Her and a single thought in Her mind after all, the wizard had one thing right divide and conquer how far they had fallen Limitations Limitations trees with slight traces of a struggle long since past the eastern woods of the valley are silent and still except for the sinner's hoofsteps and the little voices that bore Her face telling Her anything She wanted to hear and everything She didn't so strong and clear now that there were only reminders only limits clipped feathers and hobbled hooves blinded ears deaf ears numb, aching heart there was only this in the east woods away from it all beyond the snow and ice that swallowed ponies and painted the land blanket after blanket until only the howls of the wind could be heard Her occasional scream bloodcurdling, twisted, earsplitting drowned by any could hear and all those who couldn't not-so-little angel who was Her truest companion wide-eyes and strong heart to face the world gone it could be forever sun's eyes, blinded by light bent on judging appearances see this only now there was no farewell no sorry at the first fight only Her self-assurance 'We are right, We are right' maybe it had been the little whispers shouting together even if it had not been never once did She say why She had been right it was only automatic a pleasantry so sickly sweet She wished it were a poison just so She might drink it to see what it would do might it bring her heart to the outside so all could see would they still love their wolf clothed in wool their blind god knowing She was the rottenest apple of them all appearances really were deceiving a bearded sage on the outside but only a bigoted husk within proud shining, smiling glory crumbling pathetic petty almost-monster for a core She looks away from the ground littered with dull shining shards of gray so crystalline in nature so pristine on the outside yet just as broken up as She who kicks them under the snow with a travel-heavy leg and tries to crush them underhoof before looking at the day's journey ahead of Her little voices echo around Her, and only one of them is Hers phantom bellows from the wizard who never knew honesty he lied to them when bringing them here saying they would be safe kindness his manipulation was testament enough to the absence of that trait laughter how was laughing when they were hurt during training real generosity he was but a miser, hoarding the little goddesses loyalty he put no dedication in anything leaving all endings like his magic blank the sound of a haughty tone so young and vain can still be heard trying to master each 'thou' and 'thee' as if Her behavior was not enough of an insult to the little shadow that lingered in the trees silent but for a few whispers protests of innocence at the latest accusations only to be ignored even clover's nervous ramblings little parables to keep meek little rabbits like herself safe from the traps that waited were so much louder by comparison Snoweach little flake falling all around Her not blue but stark white clear as can be whatever one wants it to become when each little bit is grouped together and becomes whole to hide the hollowness within each is numb forgotten no longer what it should be status quo indistinct what they wanted Her to be which is exactly what She tried to become a mare now, but then a filly who wished only to define Herself with no cut-crystal ice to go by only the want of others to tell Her that She has meaning that She's happy and loved that She's a princess She, the mare with a coat of snow and a mane so out of place the lonliest of them all wanders through the snowy wood She spots a snowflake in the flurry around Her sees it split and watches the halves drift apart of their own accord throat sore and with tears in Her eyes She pretends to forget and moves on Lucideach step is through a dream that She only wishes to wake up from NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE a dream that She wants to forget upon waking up never to recall a single detail She hopes to be lost not lucid hooves of gold return to the tower of stone each held in place by the sorrow of two sisters the one stopped listening and the other stopped talking dust covers the surface of each broken and rotted trinket until She recognizes it no more ash coats the hallways of each forsaken small She must duck to enter flilth clings only to Her who wanders them fog masks Her eyes that no longer see where they are cold numbness pricks each strand of Her white, now dirtied fur, as She feels the lingering chill somewhere in that catatonia, the princess is found mist clears, if only barely as She sees a door to chamber that is now open as it was never before only because a bond was broken and the hinges can no longer do anything but squeak squeak squeak like it's silent resident never did everything is still preserved under wraps of dust hardly any snow finds its way into her prison bed sheets still unmade little signs of yesterday last week everyday so many years ago all still felt today small lumps of melting white dot their way across the room like little hooves in perfect measure to a few sad volumes nestled in a few old cloaks lumped into a pile on the floor moth eaten fur colors hide precious pages that survived everything else worn but intact little gold light plucks one up still in a daze words tumble out from page one Inkvol. 1 our name is luna... ...our feathers were burned when we slammed against the barrier... ...again. burned feathers. we have to heal ourself each time but we must stay hopeful. positive. we can escape and then convince Tia to come with... ...starswirl found out about our plans after we confided in Tia... ...how could she betray us? why does she not want to leave? ...three days and no food won't hurt us, we are not mortal at least we still have you little book... ...one night spent crying, two spent curling into a ball because it was cold and the window broke... ...it is over but starswirl is still desperate to see us wither. no food for a month. no support from Tia. this time our speech was blamed, we are not to talk as we do... ...today we... ...what does he wish to starve us for so badly? it is not working but sometimes we do feel a little dizzy... ...learn magic control learn magic control forget your sister exists all in the life of Tia who will not even let us call her that any more... ...twelve fairly unsuccessful escape attempts and a lot of not so successful at all ever ones... ...the tallies under the rug are quite a legion now little battalions of five and five to remind us of our misery... ...maybe just one more time... ...caught. Solara, as she shall now be called, hit us. again. we are such a bad foal says she and we called her a bad sister and smack and now we are up here crying and confiding to you little volume even though silly Solara tells us how grateful we should be to learn magic... ...maybe we should just stop for a little while. her slap still stings. does she regret this at all?... ...there's so much to see from this tower... ...if we stop trying to escape so stupidly we can go outside again and maybe try again and everything will be okay... ...but there are plenty of books to read in here... ...we are learning so much more than Solara is from that boor... ...if only we could go outside to practice all we have read to get a better grasp on this... ...it is so nice to be alone, it has always been something we love, but we loathe to be alone and sad... ...it appears starswirl will be releasing us from the exile he believed will teach us a lesson. ha! how wrong he is!... ...tomorrow we really will be released, it is really so! even though we will not directly challenge starswirl we shall not submit to anypony, nor shall we cease attempting our escapes! we are strong and we will become stronger, did we not raise the moon all by ourself? ...this time we will lay out the plan for a grand, infalliable escape for when our power and form have found a way to blend we will not be stopped, we can't be this place is doing something to Solara because we know our sister is still deep down there and we must try... ...there must be hope, no matter how sad we are... vol.2 ...hundreds of entries clutter our old journal, so we needed you little book, your pages clean and new... ...we think the sadness is getting worse... ...is it sadness?... ...sadness does not feel this empty... ...this deep, this long... ...we are not lonely... ...lonely is only something we feel when around ponies... ...this feels like being lost, we write so much more, neat cramped hoof-writing that fits in each page... ...still, we can only write so much... ...we are always relieved in solitude, for it strengthens and frees us... ...but ponies, Solara, this wizard, clover, and the new servant they only smother and chain us, dragging me further and further from purpose and ambition into a light that blinds our sight until our brave new world is only within us... ...hope no longer burns, but only takes a different form as these years go by and we hide among the shadows of the trees... ...hope remains only in us, only in the dark does it linger... vol. 3 {only three entries within} {an introduction, of sorts} {to the faithful constant} {as mindless and heartless} {as the one she left} {but this precious friend, just like the last two} {could only bare the truth} {and listened to her far more than She} {allow her to write each fear and woe} {so each time she was to read these} {they would be shoved back in her face} {for the kindest words she had were her own} {well, maybe there are more than three entries} {but She was too busy crying to read them} Clarityrunning screaming hunger She tears across various rooms shrieking like any proper banshee for what She has really lost wood splinters stone cracks flames lick streaks in Her mane before dying as She ramapages across each hidden nook burning-coal eyes looking for more any words to bring Her closer offer any presence or comfort Her aching heart, feeling poisoned puts itself in a clumsy pile each detail around Her, focused and clear sharp and bleak a tragedy seen for the first time so She piles little journals right where She can see them a neat little stack in a glowing cloud of fool's gold each written in runes none can read and even She stumbled through Hers and the shadow's brought to life in details that redefine haunting a clarity that hurts worse than any cut still, this is one search She won't give up on at least not yet She checks every filthy, dusty, dirty crevice inspects each disgusting closet opens hidden, unmarked, improper book that had belonged to the one still believed to be a sage of the ages and who could only be proved otherwise at the cost of so much privacy even though none would believe Her despite the speaker all that happened here was better left unsaid so not a word would escape Her She, the mighty goddess in rumor only steps up from the unfitting floor where She had currently searched a small room with a broken fireplace She knocks a brick aside, where it falls from its worn and tedious perch revealing a stash of tattered diaries whatever momentary relief She had upon finding such tattered treasures was destroyed when She saw that the writing wasn't hers but She takes them anyway despite their uselessness a mere servants scribblings would offer Her no peace Emptywings that pump uselessly legs of swaying lead throat still choked eyes that can't see and a heart that outweighs them all the wind is deafening maddening silence will drive the mare mad the tears and little red nicks from the last outburst are only proof of that but sound isn't much better the mare's magic falters and the mare reaches up with one hoof of gold she had called them shackles in her writing and from her experience it was rightly so so the mare catches all that is left unsorted scraps and words that managed to remain untorn in desperation dry of tears preserved unbroken everything the mare wasn't the mare who knows nothing of where the horizon leads what lies beyond or even the current land where the mare plain unnamed as pure no, as blank, as the white fur that covers unfeeling skin hooves gloved in gold to keep their impurities from tainting the sainted, hallowed, words as painful as carved flesh they cannot be kept the mare's bearings are off the flight is aimless now to say that the mare is apathetic would be a lie it isn't that there isn't care or empathy or love and mirth, such nasty joyous things the mare is only dead from the inside out History[An excerpt from an archived issue of an old newsletter that was available to the public through Trottingham's public library. The subject of the article is the grand opening of Trottingham's then new museum and the surprise visit from Princess Celestia of Equestria. However, the text has been modernized since the original was lost...] ...the princess, while slightly disheveled from her trip, showed great joy upon her arrival. The radiant goddess while acting oddly reserved at times for one as social as herself made plenty of time to talk to the ponies gathered here today for this grand occasion. She must have been feeling slightly ill from her trip because at times the princess appeared almost confrontational towards visiting Equestrians and asking them what they thought about her sister, which was very unlike her. The Trottingham natives blinked and scratched their manes a moment before recalling that Celestia did indeed have a sister, but she wasn't given much attention by anypony. A few of the Equestrians laughed at such questions since they must have been a joke on the part of the social and joyful Equestrian goddess. It must have been so hard for her these past few months, going out into the old lands in the north all alone. The word in Equestria is that a monster named Nightmare Moon managed to work some spellcraft and overpower Celestia's sister on the night Celestia's home in the Everfree Forest was destroyed. Equestria was shocked at the princess' tears, but it was understandable, as the normally happy and imperial goddess had lost her home and now had to work both her sun and the moon, which now bore signs of the hideous monster sealed within. A few ponies were overheard asking her if she might be able to do something about these unsightly blotches. "What does it matter? None of you are ever up at night to look at he- the moon," was Celestia's response which was quickly appreciated for the joke it was since was it not Celestia of the southern kingdom of Equestria who advocated so strongly for ponies to stay inside as much as possible during the night? She even took appropriate measures in cutting the funds for any frivolous activity she could that did not met a diurnal schedule or the standards of good ponies like us. It was she who preached of the evils that darkness held and of the mooncalves and monsters that lurked within the twisted perversion of the sun's light that the moon shed. Nopony would endorse anything so non-conforming and Equestrians are thankful that they have a princess like her. She was generous to add some old and unreadable diaries to the museum's collection. At first, it almost looked like that the princess was shocked that everypony was laughing at her joke, even though she has been known to be a bit of a trickster herself and this reaction was unlikely to be genuine since this is something she would laugh at as well. After a while, she laughed too. Millenniumwhen she comes home broken beyond all hope of repair so small inside heart shrunken and withered with nopony to love now that she knows that she failed as a sister she's weak but only on the inside frayed threads of black and white little absolutes that barely manage to keep her together but never do they cross, if they could at all insignificant towering over everypony her shadow is a blanket a shroud that covers the coffin of each and everypony she has ever loved at one point or another even if it took so long to realize any of it and how much she had and how much she would never see only to be told through ink-scribbled runes that would crumble behind archive doors while she sat on the throne her wish from before it all achieved alone her greatest fear, a reality alone everything she e/never wanted before her around her ever after she sits and smiles glad in gold regalia with a shining new urn of a city gilded around the edges of her heart caught betwixt death's throes for what could only be time, everlasting pearlesent teeth gleam to each visitor to squeeze back the tears she wants to cry little drops of unshed poison to nourish a loveless goddess she loves each little pony no matter how much they stab her back all she can taking the first steps these regal chains will allow to make them change no matter the sacrifice no. matter. the. sacrifice. so outwardly she sits and smiles with a kindly wave now and again passively looking onward since the fire in her is dying along with the murmurs of there ever being another as the name that should have mattered the most to her is struck from every record she knows no hope, the mare in gold just smiles and sacrifice her belief in magic severs with each passing year with no more answers to come and she'll wait forevermore Living CorpseShe's beauty She's grace Her crown is gold Her mane is all the colors of the rainbow to distract you from Her face Her face with hollow eyes the imperial fire is gone the moon is pock marked by anything but a sickness the everfree sits in ruins all because of Her Her home is gone Her sister too She tells Herself over and over all Her fault home is in ruins sister is banished all Her fault there are so many scars and the worst are the ones none can see She maintains the pretty smile because because deep down She did know what went wrong the snow up north chilled Her too the sun is cold Her eyes are hollow the small stone city where She stays is more alive than She who lay crying on the floor until morning all because it was Her fault hours later they say She's better simply because Her crying stopped Her eyes won't see anything but the moon resting below the horizon but She's so much colder colder than snow colder than space She's as cold as death She's beauty She's grace Canterlotehere She stands in the garden all alone how noticeable that is now how will She ever learn to get used to this the statue does not respond She does not expect it to She needs a home somewhere that won't break Her heart every time She sees it now that Her constant is gone She needs company She wants to define Herself by lying by placing all the rooks mages knights and pawns around Her brick by brick She'll build another wall try to blink away the black and white like She did Her tears they'll build walls too ponies that were only ever Hers it's Her own fault the gray stone will go painted over by a layer of white if only to reassure Herself that She isn't the villain despite what Her feelings say green gardens because she loved to be outside She'll try to pretend that everything's alright until She leaves alone to Her that was such an ugly word She'll leave alone to find the start of the thread that became so knotted and when She returns She'll smile warm on the outside for all to see cold fickle heart until She finds yet another constant to share Her light She'll smile all the while they build a castle in her absence a shrine to an unsure god who cannot bear to go unloved by a single soul to be alone Beforebefore She left this valley everything was laid out where to go what to do who to talk to row by row She dictated Her life as well as another's each choice was the link in a chain She embraced them Her sister struggled with each and every link until she snapped like the very metal that held them both dragging them further down She wanted a crown resting upon each of their heads metal as shiny and regal as Her heart lusted after by those who would stare speak of every appearance She made praise gossip make idle chat She was surrounded by mindless humming the metal jewelry She wore from there and after as still as the fickle heart within Her breast long before a crown rested on Her head She was as cold as only a newcomer could be Her and Her sister earth pegasus unicorn they were neither these ponies called them monsters so She selected the one that She knew had some kind of knowledge was away from it all living in a thin tower that tried to seek the clouds in vain from there She did everything tried to master magic's form understand these ponies Her deeds nearing the cost of Herself Her vanity dictated Her looks surrounding Her like the dresses She wore Her tongue adopted all their words without a second thought Her smile never faltered Her eyes left Her sister to focus on the crown She would claw away bright shining false power She might have again one day to guide the mortals from the realm that starved them that emptied their minds and their hearts where the snow blinded their eyes and even She was not spared She lost Her little shadow in the storm She told her stop being so selfish grow up and everything else every bit of venom they're not coming back everything She thought to be true or at least as true as it needed to be and after it all Her smile never faltered Luckyis what She was had been all these new, unfamiliar past tenses chipping away at what she is as if she was as fleeting and heart-wrenching as a mortal take a long look blink the tears away and she's gone leaving only memory of before and a legacy with the empty present between them to be filled only with mourning and hollow recovery little smiles that hide the pain better than any mask stitched in so tightly they cannot be removed without tearing something She had been so lucky to have a sister a constant any companion at all one so loyal to a fault that this was the result She was so lucky that even though she was so close she never saw Her for what She really was or maybe she only kept an honest silence until the end so lucky so lucky fate was so kind to see Her little shadow go unused that they wouldn't even allow Her lone ruler of all She would return to someone like them to blame because it all fell to Her blameless goddess pure heart blameless only because She said so and tore down the image of monsters that had been built up while nopony was watching their precious wall of lies She surrounded Herself with the bricks that made up every prejudice willingly blind busy looking away while they threw those bricks at her because she wouldn't change Her heart was indeed pure something anything surely, it was some absolute something so indisputable in every wrong way a heart that tore the marks off everything questions and answers became one in the same lies shifted into the truth at least in Her mind and sisters became enemies Her heart was pure something on the borderline of everything She would never let anypony else see She was so, undeniably lucky but Her luck ran out when She had stolen it all hoarding Her miser's gold from the one who had needed it most
Flightup north it's where She heads all alone it's where She led the little ponies from She wasn't alone then the snow almost warms Her She just tries She tries so hard for once She doesn't want to think blank She tries to make Herself blank numb but She can never forget never close Her eyes without seeing Her sister scream again why doesn't the smile falter losing She didn't win nopony did they all lost She can't find the black and white She wishes it was there She wishes it was nothing She gives up after a while there's so much quiet here in the sky She hates it or She could if She could still burn still feel right after all this Her throat is too sore to sing a short trip alone to prepare her for everything that comes after day after day night after night this occasion is but a little slice of history and history repeats day after day night after night She doesn't sleep She doesn't want to see her She wants to see her confusion fades into nothing at all as She sits in the snow alone day after day night after night
Hoofstepssnow tries to hinder Her ice flies through Her mane until even She can't see the colors as She makes Her way north it's just like it was before they learned of a king in a shining empire and sealed him in ice their fillyhood friend usurped their nation after they thought they'd never see him again and the statue in canterlote was testament enough to what happened after before the elements the moon she only screams in memories now it's nothing like before two little fillies if they were so alone how had they been so happy the questions are like the snow they flow around Her She can't make them go away but She ignores each and every one just so She might press on She won't look back not yet She's not there yet it's been centuries since She's been there the land of false smiles where laughter was unheard of kindness too generosity never without a price honesty foreign loyalty blind magic barren wasted squandered twisted She remembers how She had been there how She had smiled like them how She had thought like them how She had believed it all the snow is like the questions She can ignore it all but it will still eat at Her hoofstep after hoofstep it feels like more of Her is vanishing all over again in this cold shell of a god could any kindness bloom
Mountainsjust over the horizon She sees the tell-tale sign the great barrier north of all of equestria the waste where a crystal land was torn off the map the fledgling nation of trotland the only thing farther into this hateful harmony-lacking waste is the true valley of the tribes not the wizard's little slice rotting away like the rest of history that She wants to forget and almost did vicious rock that tries to separate Her from answers it cuts Her legs until the blood is numbed like the rest of Her hours upon hours of walking stopping wanting to turn back She falls to the ground when she reaches a point where one as tall as Her can look and see all She remembers too and that's what breaks the ice at least for now Her raw scream is lost in the wind but She finally cries again
Heroshining bright what he never was in life he was after fame glory he was legend all for nothing a life that fades into obscurity details blurred like the horizon in a storm a home in the mountains so far north where all is in ruins where lives crumbled with the houses they lived in until it was only the skeletons of rooms that remained buried under the snow ashes to ashes dust to dust here was the hero who thought of none but his ambitions who never laughed never smiled once and was never modest enough to at least be apathetic to everpony else's woe he scribbled magic that would never be complete and was as above the stagnant minds of the peasants of that day like the stars were to the clouds in his tower home where the sun princess aimed to go there had lived four youths in shared misery together in name only they shared only the valley in which they were trapped the green maned errand filly who only ever bowed her head to stare at the mud her hood hid her mane which drew so many gazes and she only wanted to fade two little goddesses drifting apart one to the shadows where she saw only what was and what could be all the sadness to come she worried alone trying to live cast into the shadows the princess of the dark before she was even crowned the other saw only what She wanted a shining kingdom to be ponies to talk to once again a place to define Herself a place to forget and a place to belong She believed what She was told abided by the rules only wanting to build a kingdom to thaw these frozen hearts while Her own froze over the broken pieces sealed but not mended this was the hero this bearded wizard, who only influenced Her own petty behavior furthered each wasted smile She made for the crown and every blind move that led to Her current state alone Her sight restored but She was oh so alone the wizard with a belled cap was anything but
Division Division separation by another name invisible walls to keep them apart and keep them away from the world a barrier to block their powers as soon as the two tired fillies had stepped inside weed out the possibility of escape cage them in a little valley the wizard would keep the little goddesses their horns and wings Her waving mane marked them as trophies burdens ignored experiments and nothing more pieces to ponder mysteries to boast of of course she noticed first the charm that made them dizzy while standing still so even the snow seemed to fly crooked her eyes, such perceptive things the color of neither daytime sky or the world in bloom those eyes that saw something beyond what was in front of them they picked up on everything first the paths of escape, the concealed exits she first knew that the wizard had cast a charm to steal the escape from their minds swirl the memory like the stars in his mark a short frantic scream the bluebird of happiness seeing their invisible cage shouted her accusations at the wizard for bringing them here at Her for allowing it to happen wings unfurled she took off for the clouds for the mountains for anywhere but where they were quicker than any eye could follow a rebellious bolt of lightning fierce and bright charging the air longing for her feral freedom she slammed into a wall unseen by all but her freedom loving heart little blue angel feathers burned black at the edges falls to the ground crying out when she's grounded once again sides mottled with purple bruises pebble-inflicted cuts broken feathers trampled into the stone she looked at Her with tears in her eyes which asked all the questions that She had no answer too her mouth hurling the truth at them both long before She would ever know it liar bigot hero the wizard he rises above the sun who can hardly stutter out a few words of speechless comfort to the defiant one this wizard was all they had he took them in where others had cast them out he looms over Her, She who has no crown to shield Her to protect anything anymore braces for all the raging shouts that he yells into the snow-filled air he tells Her to make that one be quiet she's too injured to fly, her legs are streaked with blood to this day She cannot understand how she found the strength to stand to endure anything so cruel because She didn't before Her eyes, clouding Her heart, Her mind, every part of Her She sees the little shadow that She loved that She shielded that She took everything for the little shadow who still had hopes and dreams intact even when she could barely stand She didn't dream She was a good filly She did what She was told She forgot Herself She wanted a life all Her own thin gold thread, little ray of sunlight takes no more forgets everything in one moment a furious scream from the bearded stallion is all it takes to wedge each little bit of Her distant heart apart once and for all to make Her cave into the little voices that She always held at bay doubts whispers anything but the truth it's why She listened to them in the first place She doesn't need any more encouragement nothing matters there's too much crying too much screaming all Her little voices chant on and on Her hoof is already flying as the wizard's cry rings out: "EITHER YOU HIT HER OR I DO!" ugly furious words followed by an angry shriek of Her own angry twisted guttural thing that dwarfs a dragon's roar in Her clouded mind eyes that now see past the bruise on the little shadow's face only a shadow go the little whispers She'll bury when She sleeps she's only a shadow now you're finally free free of what they never said She never stopped to ask but She still remembers the dreaded howl of everything to come Her shadow's pained call heralding the misery and despair which like the snow would surround them all it was the memory of the wolves who in their forest echoed that call immediately after the elder's silhouette overshadowed the screaming angel the whole valley shook in the present moment She stared at the hole She had burned in the centuries old wall as clear as glass and as strong as hate She was here again the temporary puncture closing behind Her and a single thought in Her mind after all, the wizard had one thing right divide and conquer how far they had fallen
Limitations Limitations trees with slight traces of a struggle long since past the eastern woods of the valley are silent and still except for the sinner's hoofsteps and the little voices that bore Her face telling Her anything She wanted to hear and everything She didn't so strong and clear now that there were only reminders only limits clipped feathers and hobbled hooves blinded ears deaf ears numb, aching heart there was only this in the east woods away from it all beyond the snow and ice that swallowed ponies and painted the land blanket after blanket until only the howls of the wind could be heard Her occasional scream bloodcurdling, twisted, earsplitting drowned by any could hear and all those who couldn't not-so-little angel who was Her truest companion wide-eyes and strong heart to face the world gone it could be forever sun's eyes, blinded by light bent on judging appearances see this only now there was no farewell no sorry at the first fight only Her self-assurance 'We are right, We are right' maybe it had been the little whispers shouting together even if it had not been never once did She say why She had been right it was only automatic a pleasantry so sickly sweet She wished it were a poison just so She might drink it to see what it would do might it bring her heart to the outside so all could see would they still love their wolf clothed in wool their blind god knowing She was the rottenest apple of them all appearances really were deceiving a bearded sage on the outside but only a bigoted husk within proud shining, smiling glory crumbling pathetic petty almost-monster for a core She looks away from the ground littered with dull shining shards of gray so crystalline in nature so pristine on the outside yet just as broken up as She who kicks them under the snow with a travel-heavy leg and tries to crush them underhoof before looking at the day's journey ahead of Her little voices echo around Her, and only one of them is Hers phantom bellows from the wizard who never knew honesty he lied to them when bringing them here saying they would be safe kindness his manipulation was testament enough to the absence of that trait laughter how was laughing when they were hurt during training real generosity he was but a miser, hoarding the little goddesses loyalty he put no dedication in anything leaving all endings like his magic blank the sound of a haughty tone so young and vain can still be heard trying to master each 'thou' and 'thee' as if Her behavior was not enough of an insult to the little shadow that lingered in the trees silent but for a few whispers protests of innocence at the latest accusations only to be ignored even clover's nervous ramblings little parables to keep meek little rabbits like herself safe from the traps that waited were so much louder by comparison
Snoweach little flake falling all around Her not blue but stark white clear as can be whatever one wants it to become when each little bit is grouped together and becomes whole to hide the hollowness within each is numb forgotten no longer what it should be status quo indistinct what they wanted Her to be which is exactly what She tried to become a mare now, but then a filly who wished only to define Herself with no cut-crystal ice to go by only the want of others to tell Her that She has meaning that She's happy and loved that She's a princess She, the mare with a coat of snow and a mane so out of place the lonliest of them all wanders through the snowy wood She spots a snowflake in the flurry around Her sees it split and watches the halves drift apart of their own accord throat sore and with tears in Her eyes She pretends to forget and moves on
Lucideach step is through a dream that She only wishes to wake up from NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE a dream that She wants to forget upon waking up never to recall a single detail She hopes to be lost not lucid hooves of gold return to the tower of stone each held in place by the sorrow of two sisters the one stopped listening and the other stopped talking dust covers the surface of each broken and rotted trinket until She recognizes it no more ash coats the hallways of each forsaken small She must duck to enter flilth clings only to Her who wanders them fog masks Her eyes that no longer see where they are cold numbness pricks each strand of Her white, now dirtied fur, as She feels the lingering chill somewhere in that catatonia, the princess is found mist clears, if only barely as She sees a door to chamber that is now open as it was never before only because a bond was broken and the hinges can no longer do anything but squeak squeak squeak like it's silent resident never did everything is still preserved under wraps of dust hardly any snow finds its way into her prison bed sheets still unmade little signs of yesterday last week everyday so many years ago all still felt today small lumps of melting white dot their way across the room like little hooves in perfect measure to a few sad volumes nestled in a few old cloaks lumped into a pile on the floor moth eaten fur colors hide precious pages that survived everything else worn but intact little gold light plucks one up still in a daze words tumble out from page one
Inkvol. 1 our name is luna... ...our feathers were burned when we slammed against the barrier... ...again. burned feathers. we have to heal ourself each time but we must stay hopeful. positive. we can escape and then convince Tia to come with... ...starswirl found out about our plans after we confided in Tia... ...how could she betray us? why does she not want to leave? ...three days and no food won't hurt us, we are not mortal at least we still have you little book... ...one night spent crying, two spent curling into a ball because it was cold and the window broke... ...it is over but starswirl is still desperate to see us wither. no food for a month. no support from Tia. this time our speech was blamed, we are not to talk as we do... ...today we... ...what does he wish to starve us for so badly? it is not working but sometimes we do feel a little dizzy... ...learn magic control learn magic control forget your sister exists all in the life of Tia who will not even let us call her that any more... ...twelve fairly unsuccessful escape attempts and a lot of not so successful at all ever ones... ...the tallies under the rug are quite a legion now little battalions of five and five to remind us of our misery... ...maybe just one more time... ...caught. Solara, as she shall now be called, hit us. again. we are such a bad foal says she and we called her a bad sister and smack and now we are up here crying and confiding to you little volume even though silly Solara tells us how grateful we should be to learn magic... ...maybe we should just stop for a little while. her slap still stings. does she regret this at all?... ...there's so much to see from this tower... ...if we stop trying to escape so stupidly we can go outside again and maybe try again and everything will be okay... ...but there are plenty of books to read in here... ...we are learning so much more than Solara is from that boor... ...if only we could go outside to practice all we have read to get a better grasp on this... ...it is so nice to be alone, it has always been something we love, but we loathe to be alone and sad... ...it appears starswirl will be releasing us from the exile he believed will teach us a lesson. ha! how wrong he is!... ...tomorrow we really will be released, it is really so! even though we will not directly challenge starswirl we shall not submit to anypony, nor shall we cease attempting our escapes! we are strong and we will become stronger, did we not raise the moon all by ourself? ...this time we will lay out the plan for a grand, infalliable escape for when our power and form have found a way to blend we will not be stopped, we can't be this place is doing something to Solara because we know our sister is still deep down there and we must try... ...there must be hope, no matter how sad we are... vol.2 ...hundreds of entries clutter our old journal, so we needed you little book, your pages clean and new... ...we think the sadness is getting worse... ...is it sadness?... ...sadness does not feel this empty... ...this deep, this long... ...we are not lonely... ...lonely is only something we feel when around ponies... ...this feels like being lost, we write so much more, neat cramped hoof-writing that fits in each page... ...still, we can only write so much... ...we are always relieved in solitude, for it strengthens and frees us... ...but ponies, Solara, this wizard, clover, and the new servant they only smother and chain us, dragging me further and further from purpose and ambition into a light that blinds our sight until our brave new world is only within us... ...hope no longer burns, but only takes a different form as these years go by and we hide among the shadows of the trees... ...hope remains only in us, only in the dark does it linger... vol. 3 {only three entries within} {an introduction, of sorts} {to the faithful constant} {as mindless and heartless} {as the one she left} {but this precious friend, just like the last two} {could only bare the truth} {and listened to her far more than She} {allow her to write each fear and woe} {so each time she was to read these} {they would be shoved back in her face} {for the kindest words she had were her own} {well, maybe there are more than three entries} {but She was too busy crying to read them}
Clarityrunning screaming hunger She tears across various rooms shrieking like any proper banshee for what She has really lost wood splinters stone cracks flames lick streaks in Her mane before dying as She ramapages across each hidden nook burning-coal eyes looking for more any words to bring Her closer offer any presence or comfort Her aching heart, feeling poisoned puts itself in a clumsy pile each detail around Her, focused and clear sharp and bleak a tragedy seen for the first time so She piles little journals right where She can see them a neat little stack in a glowing cloud of fool's gold each written in runes none can read and even She stumbled through Hers and the shadow's brought to life in details that redefine haunting a clarity that hurts worse than any cut still, this is one search She won't give up on at least not yet She checks every filthy, dusty, dirty crevice inspects each disgusting closet opens hidden, unmarked, improper book that had belonged to the one still believed to be a sage of the ages and who could only be proved otherwise at the cost of so much privacy even though none would believe Her despite the speaker all that happened here was better left unsaid so not a word would escape Her She, the mighty goddess in rumor only steps up from the unfitting floor where She had currently searched a small room with a broken fireplace She knocks a brick aside, where it falls from its worn and tedious perch revealing a stash of tattered diaries whatever momentary relief She had upon finding such tattered treasures was destroyed when She saw that the writing wasn't hers but She takes them anyway despite their uselessness a mere servants scribblings would offer Her no peace
Emptywings that pump uselessly legs of swaying lead throat still choked eyes that can't see and a heart that outweighs them all the wind is deafening maddening silence will drive the mare mad the tears and little red nicks from the last outburst are only proof of that but sound isn't much better the mare's magic falters and the mare reaches up with one hoof of gold she had called them shackles in her writing and from her experience it was rightly so so the mare catches all that is left unsorted scraps and words that managed to remain untorn in desperation dry of tears preserved unbroken everything the mare wasn't the mare who knows nothing of where the horizon leads what lies beyond or even the current land where the mare plain unnamed as pure no, as blank, as the white fur that covers unfeeling skin hooves gloved in gold to keep their impurities from tainting the sainted, hallowed, words as painful as carved flesh they cannot be kept the mare's bearings are off the flight is aimless now to say that the mare is apathetic would be a lie it isn't that there isn't care or empathy or love and mirth, such nasty joyous things the mare is only dead from the inside out
History[An excerpt from an archived issue of an old newsletter that was available to the public through Trottingham's public library. The subject of the article is the grand opening of Trottingham's then new museum and the surprise visit from Princess Celestia of Equestria. However, the text has been modernized since the original was lost...] ...the princess, while slightly disheveled from her trip, showed great joy upon her arrival. The radiant goddess while acting oddly reserved at times for one as social as herself made plenty of time to talk to the ponies gathered here today for this grand occasion. She must have been feeling slightly ill from her trip because at times the princess appeared almost confrontational towards visiting Equestrians and asking them what they thought about her sister, which was very unlike her. The Trottingham natives blinked and scratched their manes a moment before recalling that Celestia did indeed have a sister, but she wasn't given much attention by anypony. A few of the Equestrians laughed at such questions since they must have been a joke on the part of the social and joyful Equestrian goddess. It must have been so hard for her these past few months, going out into the old lands in the north all alone. The word in Equestria is that a monster named Nightmare Moon managed to work some spellcraft and overpower Celestia's sister on the night Celestia's home in the Everfree Forest was destroyed. Equestria was shocked at the princess' tears, but it was understandable, as the normally happy and imperial goddess had lost her home and now had to work both her sun and the moon, which now bore signs of the hideous monster sealed within. A few ponies were overheard asking her if she might be able to do something about these unsightly blotches. "What does it matter? None of you are ever up at night to look at he- the moon," was Celestia's response which was quickly appreciated for the joke it was since was it not Celestia of the southern kingdom of Equestria who advocated so strongly for ponies to stay inside as much as possible during the night? She even took appropriate measures in cutting the funds for any frivolous activity she could that did not met a diurnal schedule or the standards of good ponies like us. It was she who preached of the evils that darkness held and of the mooncalves and monsters that lurked within the twisted perversion of the sun's light that the moon shed. Nopony would endorse anything so non-conforming and Equestrians are thankful that they have a princess like her. She was generous to add some old and unreadable diaries to the museum's collection. At first, it almost looked like that the princess was shocked that everypony was laughing at her joke, even though she has been known to be a bit of a trickster herself and this reaction was unlikely to be genuine since this is something she would laugh at as well. After a while, she laughed too.
Millenniumwhen she comes home broken beyond all hope of repair so small inside heart shrunken and withered with nopony to love now that she knows that she failed as a sister she's weak but only on the inside frayed threads of black and white little absolutes that barely manage to keep her together but never do they cross, if they could at all insignificant towering over everypony her shadow is a blanket a shroud that covers the coffin of each and everypony she has ever loved at one point or another even if it took so long to realize any of it and how much she had and how much she would never see only to be told through ink-scribbled runes that would crumble behind archive doors while she sat on the throne her wish from before it all achieved alone her greatest fear, a reality alone everything she e/never wanted before her around her ever after she sits and smiles glad in gold regalia with a shining new urn of a city gilded around the edges of her heart caught betwixt death's throes for what could only be time, everlasting pearlesent teeth gleam to each visitor to squeeze back the tears she wants to cry little drops of unshed poison to nourish a loveless goddess she loves each little pony no matter how much they stab her back all she can taking the first steps these regal chains will allow to make them change no matter the sacrifice no. matter. the. sacrifice. so outwardly she sits and smiles with a kindly wave now and again passively looking onward since the fire in her is dying along with the murmurs of there ever being another as the name that should have mattered the most to her is struck from every record she knows no hope, the mare in gold just smiles and sacrifice her belief in magic severs with each passing year with no more answers to come and she'll wait forevermore
Living CorpseShe's beauty She's grace Her crown is gold Her mane is all the colors of the rainbow to distract you from Her face Her face with hollow eyes the imperial fire is gone the moon is pock marked by anything but a sickness the everfree sits in ruins all because of Her Her home is gone Her sister too She tells Herself over and over all Her fault home is in ruins sister is banished all Her fault there are so many scars and the worst are the ones none can see She maintains the pretty smile because because deep down She did know what went wrong the snow up north chilled Her too the sun is cold Her eyes are hollow the small stone city where She stays is more alive than She who lay crying on the floor until morning all because it was Her fault hours later they say She's better simply because Her crying stopped Her eyes won't see anything but the moon resting below the horizon but She's so much colder colder than snow colder than space She's as cold as death She's beauty She's grace
Canterlotehere She stands in the garden all alone how noticeable that is now how will She ever learn to get used to this the statue does not respond She does not expect it to She needs a home somewhere that won't break Her heart every time She sees it now that Her constant is gone She needs company She wants to define Herself by lying by placing all the rooks mages knights and pawns around Her brick by brick She'll build another wall try to blink away the black and white like She did Her tears they'll build walls too ponies that were only ever Hers it's Her own fault the gray stone will go painted over by a layer of white if only to reassure Herself that She isn't the villain despite what Her feelings say green gardens because she loved to be outside She'll try to pretend that everything's alright until She leaves alone to Her that was such an ugly word She'll leave alone to find the start of the thread that became so knotted and when She returns She'll smile warm on the outside for all to see cold fickle heart until She finds yet another constant to share Her light She'll smile all the while they build a castle in her absence a shrine to an unsure god who cannot bear to go unloved by a single soul to be alone
Beforebefore She left this valley everything was laid out where to go what to do who to talk to row by row She dictated Her life as well as another's each choice was the link in a chain She embraced them Her sister struggled with each and every link until she snapped like the very metal that held them both dragging them further down She wanted a crown resting upon each of their heads metal as shiny and regal as Her heart lusted after by those who would stare speak of every appearance She made praise gossip make idle chat She was surrounded by mindless humming the metal jewelry She wore from there and after as still as the fickle heart within Her breast long before a crown rested on Her head She was as cold as only a newcomer could be Her and Her sister earth pegasus unicorn they were neither these ponies called them monsters so She selected the one that She knew had some kind of knowledge was away from it all living in a thin tower that tried to seek the clouds in vain from there She did everything tried to master magic's form understand these ponies Her deeds nearing the cost of Herself Her vanity dictated Her looks surrounding Her like the dresses She wore Her tongue adopted all their words without a second thought Her smile never faltered Her eyes left Her sister to focus on the crown She would claw away bright shining false power She might have again one day to guide the mortals from the realm that starved them that emptied their minds and their hearts where the snow blinded their eyes and even She was not spared She lost Her little shadow in the storm She told her stop being so selfish grow up and everything else every bit of venom they're not coming back everything She thought to be true or at least as true as it needed to be and after it all Her smile never faltered
Luckyis what She was had been all these new, unfamiliar past tenses chipping away at what she is as if she was as fleeting and heart-wrenching as a mortal take a long look blink the tears away and she's gone leaving only memory of before and a legacy with the empty present between them to be filled only with mourning and hollow recovery little smiles that hide the pain better than any mask stitched in so tightly they cannot be removed without tearing something She had been so lucky to have a sister a constant any companion at all one so loyal to a fault that this was the result She was so lucky that even though she was so close she never saw Her for what She really was or maybe she only kept an honest silence until the end so lucky so lucky fate was so kind to see Her little shadow go unused that they wouldn't even allow Her lone ruler of all She would return to someone like them to blame because it all fell to Her blameless goddess pure heart blameless only because She said so and tore down the image of monsters that had been built up while nopony was watching their precious wall of lies She surrounded Herself with the bricks that made up every prejudice willingly blind busy looking away while they threw those bricks at her because she wouldn't change Her heart was indeed pure something anything surely, it was some absolute something so indisputable in every wrong way a heart that tore the marks off everything questions and answers became one in the same lies shifted into the truth at least in Her mind and sisters became enemies Her heart was pure something on the borderline of everything She would never let anypony else see She was so, undeniably lucky but Her luck ran out when She had stolen it all hoarding Her miser's gold from the one who had needed it most
