The Warlock

Chapters

The Autobiography
Prologue
Chapter One: Leaving Home
Chapter Two: Unpleasant Discoveries
Chapter Three: Mzark
Chapter Four: Confrontation and Uncertainty
Chapter Five: Awakening
Chapter Six: Sweet Dreams
Chapter Seven: The Great Escape
Chapter Eight: Understanding (End of Arc I)
Chapter Nine: Questions Answered
Chapter Ten: Check Up and History
Chapter Eleven: History Revealed
Chapter Twelve: Ambush And The Imperium
Chapter Thirteen: The Vault
Chapter Fourteen: Celestia's Huge Mistake (End of Arc 2)
Chapter Fifteen: Friends, Feet, and Slavs
Chapter Sixteen: The One With The Looting
Chapter Seventeen: Dragons

The Autobiography

Once upon a time in the magical land of Equestria, there lived a lone human.

Well, to be fair, the human had not been in Equestria for a while. This would be his first visit to the gleaming gem of the continent, Antera in over a month. The human was currently sitting in his personal shuttle awaiting launch from Luna City. The human looked roughly 25 or so. He was dressed in the protective battle robes he normally wore, and had a small satchel bag strapped to his side. Adorning his left thigh was a chronologically ancient, yet mint condition 1911, the only one of its kind.

The human quietly slept in the pilot's seat in the shuttle. He was fifth in line for the magrail accelerator, and it took twenty minutes to charge for each shuttle. The shuttle itself was fairly small compared to others, seeing as how his was designed to carry two people max, unlike the other, 50+ person mass transit shuttles.

His shuttle would lurch a hundred feet every 25 minutes. Nearly two hours would pass before the human would move. The main console chimed as a transmission came in.

"Come in Soul Of Innovation, this is Heinlein Station, do you copy?" A male Earth Pony (technically a Moon Pony) appeared on the holo-projector in the center of the console. He seamed to speak with a tone of reverence in his voice.

The human awoke with a jump. "I copy Heinlein Station. Am I cleared for launch?" The human sat up a little straighter.

"You are clear for launch, Soul Of Innovation. Unlocking magrail controls now. Do you need lazer assisted thrust?" There was a second chime, as a small red button on the right side of the console lit up. "Do you know when you will be back, Herr Campbell?" The pony slipped back into Basic for a moment. He could technically speak any language he felt like, but Basic would take too long, so he spoke in Gryphic for the most part, as it had a far larger vocabulary.

"I don't know. Tia said something about a temporal distortion. These can take a few weeks to fix, or a few years." He told the control pony. "And no, I have an Ion Thruster." Celestia had asked him to return to Canterlot from Luna City almost as soon as he touched down. he had just come from Ares when she called him over the holonet. He had been at the small city to help set up another business, and was returning to Luna City for a bit of R&R before he went back home.

"Well, good luck with that. I hope you come back soon." He bid the human good bye before he closed the connection.

The human sighed and strapped himself into the seat. After locking himself into the seat with the five-point harness, he reached out and grabbed the steering yolk, he thumbed the button.

An automated voice filled the small cabin. 'Starten Sie in zehn , neun, acht, sieben , sechs, fünf , vier, drei , zwei, eins. Starten.' The entire shuttle shot forward to Mach 7 in a few seconds. The pressure would have been immense, had he not been wearing his battle robes. They absorbed the majority of the G's. He stayed at this speed for thirty seconds, but because he was in a cargo shuttle instead of a personnel transport, the ride was shorter, but the speed shot up to Mach 25 for three seconds at the end. His robe could not absorb most of this, and he had all of the air pushed out of him. He did not mind this. In fact, this was his favorite part of the entire launch sequence.

He could nor breathe for a full three seconds, before the pressure was removed. He burst forth from the underground tunnel at nearly twenty thousand miles an hour. He got his first glance of the Lunar surface as he shot away from the moon. The terraforming efforts were coming along fairly well. Over twenty percent of the Moon was covered in transparasteel domes containing cities, farms, and suburbs, there were ponies waddling around in p-suits on the surface, and the rovers were scooting around, testing to see if the location was appropriate for a gravity well.

He turned his attention towards Earth, the main planet. Even from this distance, he could see the thousands of oceanic colonies and the hundreds of space stations circling the green and blue sphere. There were dozens of shuttles en route to the Moon. He turned his head to look at the sun. Normally it is a bad thing to look directly at the sun, but because his shuttle normally relied on cameras to see outside the ship, he was fine. Even from here, he could see hundreds of massive cargo ships, each almost as large as a small country, heading off to the Dyson Sphere in construction. Finally, he gazed upon the flashing lights hovering in space that marked out the route to the next nearest planet.

He looked upon the entire ensemble of technology with pride and a grin. A mere two thousand years ago, the planet seemed to be in a perpetual medieval state for thousands of years. Back then the most advanced technology was the steam engine. It had taken him decades to even begin having his ideas taken seriously. But when they were, he had made such immense changes to the world, that it was nearly unrecognizable. In the years after he had started making these changes, he had made thousands of Ponies, Minotaurs, Griffons, and numerous other species wealthy beyond rational thought. He owned almost half of the nearest planet to Earth. All of this was his brain child, his pride and joy. It had taken so much effort and hardships, but every time he opened his eyes, it brought a smile to his face from just how worth it it was. For years, he had been writing notes on how he had done all of this. He had another five hours before he would enter Earth's orbit. He decided that it was time to start.

Putting his shuttle on autopilot, he unlatched the harness and leaned back. Zero gravity was always so relaxing to him. The sense of weightlessness was a wonderful feeling. Pulling out his data pad, he opened the speech to text program. He was not recording yet, but was about to start. He hit the record button.

"Special thanks. To start with, I would like to dedicate this book first and foremost to my wives. You are the light of my life, and the reason I have not gone insane years ago. I also dedicate this book to every single person who I have helped. Weather directly or indirectly, they are the reason the world is as it is. Lastly, I would like to thank my old roommate, Mike. Nobody would know him, but he is the sole reason that I am even here. He was the driving force that lead me to be the person I am. I know you can't here me Mike, but thank you. For everything."

He paused to gather his thoughts. "Prologue. Once upon a time, in a land that was once called Antera, there lived a nation. This nation was a land of mystery, technology, and forbidden secrets. "

Prologue

Once upon a time, in a land that was once called Antera, there lived a nation. This nation was a land of mystery, technology, and forbidden secrets. The citizens were just as secretive as their hidden cities and marvels of technology. The humans. They inhabited the land, yet they were unknown to the rest of the continent, the mountainous land shrouding them from the outside world. For thousands of years, the land remained shrouded in mystery. It was in the year 5323 P.N. that the ancient zebras managed to climb the mountains of Antera. Finding a society they had no idea existed, the zebras reported back to their elders, and went to war.

To the humans credit, they managed to avoid any unnecessary deaths. They would fight for eight years, yet only lost a few hundred warriors on either side. The humans and zebras came to a lasting peace in the year 5315 P.N.

The peace lasted for nearly four thousand years, the longest time of peace in recorded history The humans and zebras, as well as the ponies and the Minotaurs, all came under one flag for the first time in recorded history. This was a golden age for the entire continent. Technological wonders that many could not even fathom The average lifespan of all creatures extended by sometimes up to 30 years. There was even talk of attempting a space flight to the moon. For the first time, all was good.

But as they say, all good things must come to an end.

The sound of the thumper hammering away at the stone floor was constant. The thumper looked like an overgrown refrigerator with two handles on each side for operators to hold on to. On the bottom was a large pin used to punch holes in the bedrock the size of a fist. On the top was a cable that connected the thumper to the excavations lay line tap (1).

With a great cracking sound, the thumper, along with all eight of its operators, fell into the ground. This would happen on occasion, what with the crystal caverns appearing after around 10km deep (2). The jump jets on the feet of the operators kicked in, and they gently floated up.

“Tha was close” the foreman, a sturdy looking Minotaur panted. “Get a salvage crew down 'ere to get the thumpa' back, the're expensive and I don't wanna replace it.”

The salvage team came. The term 'team' can be used lightly, as there was only one person. A single human, who if you read his name tag, went by the name of Z'ant. Z'ant was dressed normally for a retrieval job, he was in overalls with his tool belt and tools. In his left hand was a multitool (3), and in his right was a datapad. Adorning his head was a dual layer watch cap filled with a hyper reactive non-Newtonian fluid to protect him from falling objects. He was also vulgar, foul tempered, and drunk on the local hay vodka.

All in all, he was an archetypal retrieval crew.

“Alright, what fell this time, Iron Fist?” The human questioned the foreman with a slight hiccup.

“A thumpa', musta hit a crystal cavern or summat'.”

Looking down, Z'ant shined a light into the 2 meter hole the thumper created and was immediately assaulted with a dazzling display that only a room full of reflective surfaces can create. “Yeah, no shit.” He was stunned by the shear magnitude of the size of the crystals in the cavern. Most of the crystals were at least half a meter in diameter, and up to 9 in some cases. The crystals alone could fund the entire dig and the next to come. “Alright, I'll be back in a few, don't leave right away, I need someone to send the line back down after I get the thumper.”

Z'ant attached a small pad to the ceiling using his jump jets to reach it. The pad adhered with a super strong contact adhesive. It was connected to a miniature tow line on the back of Z'ant's belt. Testing it carefully, he yanked on it a couple of times. After it was deemed a “meh, whatever”, he descended slowly into the pit.

After a few seconds, he dropped an IR emitter and flipped on his IR goggles, as a flashlight would have blinded him with the crystals reflections. The world immediately changed to a monochromatic one. He was about 15 meters from the bottom of the cavern when he saw the thumper. It had survived somewhat intact. Only superficial dents to the outer casing. It was laying on a pile of shattered crystals.

He fumbled with the tube of adhesive for a moment or two, finally managing to get it on the side of the thumper's chassis, he thumbed the button to send it up. Unfortunately, the thumper was over 6000 kilos, and the thing was slow as it was with only his 80. It would take about half an hour to lift up.

Sitting on one of the ruined crystal stumps, Z'ant waited. He pulled off his IR goggles to wipe off his face. And he noticed something in the absolute pitch black.

There was a light.

Not a very bright one, but a light none the less. It was uncommon for any creatures to survive down in these caves, let alone one that develops bioluminescence. But the ones that did usually were not the most friendly of creatures.

Immediately curious, Z'ant stands up and activates his multitool. It extended out half a meter from the handle, and bloomed out at the tip, forming a club about a meter in length.

Whatever it was, it was about to face the drunken wrath of Z'ant.

It was roughly 50 meters away from where the thumper broke through, and took some navigating to get there, but Z'ant was managing quite well for how hard he had been hitting the flask an hour earlier.

When he was 10 meters away, he entered a clearing in the jagged forest of crystal. Sitting in the middle of it, was a stout crystal, only a meter high and a quarter around. Flanking it were other crystals, these only 10cm around, and came out of the ground at a 45 degree angle, but were bent 90 degrees in the middle, making the whole thing look like a crystal spider. Around the spider were five smaller crystals, only a few centimeters off of the ground. These crystals were the ones emitting the light.

Z'ant, not being in the safest of mindsets, slowly approached the spider, club raised. When he was only centimeters away from it, he could make out a small, dark shape in crystal.

Something came over Z'ant that had never come over the man before. Rage and Greed. Not even knowing what it was, he saw it and would stop at nothing to posses it. He scrabbled at the crystal in desperation to reach his treasure. When the crystal would not release his object to him, he became enraged, no incensed. 'The damned crystal wants to keep my precious from me?!' He screamed to himself. 'Never!' With that last declaration, he swung his club at the spider.

The effect was immediate, the top of the body of the spider was spiderwebed with cracks. Swinging again rendered much the same result. After a few swings, the top shattered.

Z'ant picked up his treasure with glee. He had won, he was better than some stupid spider thing. Looking at it brought him only confusion.

It was a book. A small, 12X10 cm, thin paged book. Z'ant was confused to say the least.

'The fuck?' He mouthed to himself, immediately feeling like a moron. His confusion was swiftly replaced with intrigue. The book had unusual title.

Krivbeknih

Having no idea what it meant, he pocketed it for later.

Back home, Z'ant set his tools down on his desk, and pulled out the book. It was bound in a tough, yet soft, brown material. The only thing on the cover was Krivbeknih. As he was opening the cover, he stopped and began to question what he was doing.

'This thing was sealed up in crystal, and the report said that the cavern had been cut off from the surface for thousands of years. Why was it in the crystal, and why is the book open?' It had seemed as though the book opened on its own, or he did it subconsciously. Whatever it was, he did not know. Gathering his courage, he looked down.

Blank.

The pages were blank. All of them. He wasted his time, and destroyed a perfectly good crystal for a blank book. He was kicking himself for his drunken rage as he stared at the pages.

“What the fuck am I supposed to do with this?” He murmured to himself.

'Sacrifice'

The voice was impossibly deep and unfathomably ancient. Z'ant felt the word, more than hearing it. As if the one word had managed to slither in his ears and burrow into his very soul. Suppressing the a shudder, he looked around his room. He was alone. “Who said that?! I know someone's here!” He commanded, no longer comfortably buzzed.

'Sacrifice, and the knowledge I hold will belong to you.'

Z'ant did shudder this time. “What do you mean a sacrifice?” He was internally pancaking, this was a cursed item. He should bring it to the mage guild right away.

' All I require is a blood sacrifice, and yours will do. Just a drop.'

Z'ant stopped. He could turn the book in, and get a 'thank you' from the guild. Or, he could-

“Aah!” He yelped. Something cut his finger. Jerking his hand away from the source of the pain, he glanced at what cut him. All he saw was his knife in his right hand and his left hand smearing his bloody fingertip on the first page of the book.

He yanked his hand away from the book, but already, he could feel something creeping into his mind and soul.

'Free at last! I am the Krivbeknih. Thank you for freeing me from the binding spell. It has been Eons since I last roamed the Earth. Come, let us begin.'

Z'ant tried to panic and run, but his body wouldn't respond. It was like he was a prisoner in his own body. He was trapped.

Then, his body stood up. Without Z'ant's input on the matter.

“Thank you Z'ant. As a reward, I will kill you quickly.” The spirit of the Krivbeknih spoke from Z'ant's mouth.

Before Z'ant could contemplate what his body just said, his world dissolved into pain. The seconds he was in agony, his everything simply dissolving. He was the first thing to die, his personality, his emotions, his identity. The last thing to be destroyed was his memories, birthdays, friends, his graduation, his family, his wife and children's funeral. With the last and most important parts of Z'ant to be destroyed, he finally died.

Z'ant's soul was no more. Converted into pure magical energy.

His body however, simply laughed and picked up the Krivbeknih.

“With the power of this soul, I hereby condemn the souls of all humans on this world to eternally strive for evil, and be cursed with an insatiable lust for power. I claim lordship over all of humanity, and command them with everything I am. I AM THE KRIVBEKNIH! MOST ANCIENT AND FOUL OF ALL DEMONS! SO MOTE IT BE!” The demon screamed this as he released the soul energy from Z'ant in a wave that pulsed out from his body in all directions.

It was from this point that humans gained the reputation that they did. The moment the pulse passed over a human, it infected them. They would go from the kind caretakers of the world, to the ruthless and cruel monsters. They were infected via their connection to the magic of the world. No other creatures were effected other than the humans.

For the next thousand years, the world was at war with the humans. The humans, led by Z'ant, and employed the most foul of dark magics. Soul magic. To use the soul of another sapient creature to power an item was to kill the very thing that made them them. The magic had been sealed in the Krivbeknih for eons, until it was released upon an unsuspecting world. The humans terrorized the world for eight hundred years.

Until two very special sisters were brought into the world.

Born to a Unicorn and a Pegasus, who both had one Earth Pony parent, the two sisters were gifted with attributes with all three, and the intellect of an average human. The Alicorn sisters quickly became the faces of resistance to the humans. After it was discovered that they had both stopped aging at the same time, they were put into positions of power. The eldest sister was often seen at the front line of most battles with humans, and was a force to be reckoned with. The younger sister stayed behind, often dealing with angry nobles, diplomatic matters, and politics in general.

With the two sisters in command, the war started to turn in their favor. For eight hundred years, the ponies had lost more and more support from the other races, but with the younger sister handling politics better than any of her predecessors, and the older sister boosting the morale and kill count higher in one year than any year previous, the allies of old slowly started to rejoin the ponies. For the first time, the humans were loosing ground. They were loosing.

Until they created a super weapon.

Born of mutilated body parts of fallen enemies, foul dark magic, and a million damned souls, the monster that terrorized ponies long after the humans were pushed back to the Echo was born. He was a being of pure malice, rage, and chaos. Almost indestructible, and utterly loyal to the humans, he would utilize his unnatural magics to kill, dismember, and decimate pony forces. As hard as they tried to kill him, he was simply too powerful to die, and could not be captured. The creature has had many names over the years, most of them long forgotten, but one remains.

Discord.

He would terrorize the ponies for hundreds of years. Long after the humans left, he was there, he was always there. The entire continent was under his control. The ponies however, ended his reign with a secret weapon. The Elements of Harmony. Discovered by the elder sister, and utilized by both sisters, they trapped Discord in enchanted stone for over a thousand years. Unbreakable, unmoving, and unyielding, the sisters trapped him atop the largest mountain in all of Equestria. And built a truly impressive fortress designed solely to watch over him. The fortress would go through many redesigns over a thousand years, and would finally settle on what is now the royal palace in Canterlot.

The humans had been pushed all the way back to the border of the Echo, a desolate, ever changing wasteland. The humans utilized the terrain to their advantage. Guerrilla tactics and sabotage held the ponies for 50 years in their position. They were stuck for the first time in hundreds of years.

The elder sister made a discovery in the year 58P.N. That the corruption that turned the humans was in their link to magic. That if a human linked to magic in a different way, they could avoid the evil. In one of the human cities they sacked, she discovered a sarcophagus in the lowest level, under a stasis field for what looked like two hundred years. Inside the sarcophagus was the key to winning the war.

The Warlock.

Because of a rare genetic mutation, the human's connection to magic was vastly different to that of any other being on the planet. Only able to learn a very limited number of spells, and unable to teach the spells, he was limited in what he was capable of. But with a specialized connection to magic, he could draw directly from the environment, instead of internalizing magic for a short time before it could be used. He was sealed away when it was discovered what he could do, and that he was not interested in helping the humans.

When the elder sister uncovered him, she tried to kill him. When it failed, he healed her wounds from the numerous battles she took part in. He eventually took up arms against the rest of human kind, and joined the ponies.

The Warlock fought the humans for three years, killing more and more every day. He managed to kill the current king of the humans, Ga'tara'kai, and was about to strike down Z'ant, when he himself was struck down. With his final breath, he sealed Z'ant away in a pillar of diamond, and the Krivbeknih in a sphere of pure steel. The humans had been drive far into the Echo, and the twin pillars were sealed away for eternity in a secret vault. The ponies had won the war. But at the cost of a dear ally.

The Warlock died in the hooves of the elder sister that day, in 55P.N.

The elder sister, not wanting future generations to think of the humans as anything less than evil, transformed the Warlock's body into that of an elderly stallion's. The Warlock was immortalized under an assumed name.

Starswirl the Bearded.

Whilst the rest of the world was celebrating the end of the war, the elder sister was greaving over the loss of her best friend, the Warlock.

Humans have not been seen on this world for over one thousand years. And for the first time in a few thousand, the world was at peace.

In the end, all we have is change. Allies become enemies. Enemies become monsters. Monsters become legend. Legend becomes myth. And myth becomes campfire stories. The only ones who truly remember the monsters, are the two sisters, and they will never forget the horror.

So ends the prehistory of the land that would become Equestria, Gryphos, The Hive, and Minos. But out story is not over just yet. For you see, sometimes campfire stories, become reality. And sometimes nobody's, become heroes.

Chapter One: Leaving Home

“You can't be seriously leaving again! This is the third time this month!” Ah roommates, sometimes you can get the greatest, most fun loving people on the planet, and sometimes you can get Mike's.

Mike had been living with me for the last three months, and I was considering kicking him out after the first week. Mike is a medical student with an acute case of rectal-cranial insertion, was a workaholic, and had his parents pay for everything. He was one of the most square people I have ever met, and trust me, I went to public school. He wasn't willing to accept that you can make money other than working 40 hours a week for 60 years, and then dying in debt. And he got offended at practically everything, and was the most rules orientated person I had ever met. This made him the most self centered person I know. But the rent needed to get paid one way or another, and YouTube only pays so much.

I graduated high school in 2016 and immediately hated working. So I picked up some money making books, and learned to do things differently. I didn't have a normal job, I had one before and hated it. I made videos on YouTube doing what I loved. And YouTube was willing to pay me for what I did. I am a survivalist. I go out into the woods, desert, tundra, whatever the audience wants, and make videos of stuff I do for fun on a regular basis. I just had to talk to the camera, document everything I did, and do things slower than normal. I even make a little money off of people who come for basic lessons. Just, the money from them isn't as good as I hoped, so I got a roommate Who happened to be the most anal retentive people I knew.

I had gotten a request about four months ago (before I met Mike) to go out and do something called the “/k/ Summertime Innawoods Challenges”. I was asked to do both the normal and the extreme mode. I normally take anything from 4chan with a grain of salt the size of Mike's ego, but this was kind of cool. So I did a miniseries on the Innawoods challenges, and they have been my most popular videos yet. I did all of the normals on the list, and was almost done with the extreme mode list. All I had left was “Metro 2033” and “The Nuggiteer”, and was packing for Metro when Mike came in.

“Mike, for the last time, I told you three days ago that I have to do one of these a week, or I could loose subscribers, and therefore, rent money.” It was getting old, having him complain all the time. I think I'm going to finally kick him out when I'm done with the last two videos.

“You could just get a NORMAL job like EVERYONE else!” What are you, my mother? “And besides, do you know how embarrassing it is to tell people what you do when asked? 'What does your roommate, Gareth do?' 'He makes YouTube videos.' 'How... Quaint' It is incredibly embarrassing!” I remember that party, made an ass of my self just to embarrass Mike. It was his grandmother who he was talking to, and after she finished that line, I was telling the punchline to my favorite dirty joke to the rest of the party. Good times. I'm glad some of Gilbert isn't as uptight as Mike.

“Nah, that's boring.” I replied as I pulled MREs and hardtack from my half of the pantry and placed them in a clean garbage bag. “And besides, I woulda' done it for free anyway, and this way, I get paid.” As I pulled one of the MREs from it's spot on the shelf, I accidentally knocked over one of Mike's cans of pate, much to his displeasure. Mike shops at Whole foods, I shop at the Army surplus.

I schlepped the garbage bag of goodies to my room, all the while Mike kept on about “Normal people” and “Socital responsabilities” and things like that. I sort of stopped listening after I left the kitchen.

Throwing my bag of food onto the hammock in my room, I started packing my MOLLE bag for the trip. I packed the usual staples, MREs, protein bars, hardtack, some medical stuff, some tools, water, a sleeping bag, a change of clothes, solar charger, tablet, camera, a throat mic (so they can here me without the pyro gas mask effect) and some prescription goggles (I have the prescription goggles, cause well, Gilbert is in the middle of a desert, and dust storms happen all the time in Arizona).

I then go to the pillow on my hammock, and pull out my grandpa's old 1911 (never sleep without it) and his Ka Bar. And grabbed the ammo for it.

Mike took one look at the Nazi killing machine, and quickly shut up. Mike's parents grew up in Beverly hills, and taught him the way they were taught about guns. Evil.

I grabbed the kukri I made in high school welding class (I told the teacher I was gonna mount it on my wall and not sharpen it, but I took it home and sharpened the fuck outa' it) from it's place in my nightstand and put it and its sheath on my belt opposite the 1911.

Next was my pride and joy. An Orbez Mosin Nagant. Thing kicks like a mule on PCP, but it will put a hole in damn near anything. I also grabbed plenty of nugget food (Ammo. Damn you, 4chan!) for the thing.

Finishing the thing off with tiger BDUs, a plate carrier, load bearing vest, a messenger bag, an old Ruskie mask hanging off the pack, goggles, some cash, some silver bars (only a couple of one ounce bars, but a ton of one gram bars. Always have silver. It can save your life.), and an ushanka hat, I was ready to go.

I pulled the pack on, winced at the weight, and walked to the front door.

“Wait, before you go.” I stopped and waited for mike to finish what he was going to say. “Here, I don't know why, but I feel you might need this more than I will.” He finishes faster than normal as he hands me, of all things, a hip flask. “Use it for cuts and medicine, it's the cheap stuff, so I won't mind.”

I hold the flask for a few seconds in confusion. Taking a sniff, I realize it's 151 (this was cheap to mike?). “Who are you and what have you done with Mike?” Mike is never this nice. He wouldn't even get me things for my birthday.

“Consider it a going away present. I'm moving in about a week. I have to go out of state for the rest of medical school.” That was a shock. Didn't think he would ever leave.

I pull out my wallet and hand him a couple of 20's. “To cover the boxes. I know it's not much, but it's something.” I try to be nice to the guy sometimes. I really do. He just makes it hard most of the time. “Goodbye Mike.”

He pockets the 20's and thanks me. “Goodbye Campbell.” He would always refer to me by my last name, never my first. Without a further word, he walks back to his room. I shut the door behind me and walk out to my motorcycle.

My motorcycle is one of those old Harley WLAs. The kind they used in WWII. I got it in a garage sale from someone who had no idea what they were selling. Best five grand I ever spent. I took off my pack and vests and put them in the side car. I pulled off the tiger BDU top and shoved it in there too.

With a shuddering rattle, I kicked the bike on, put a lid on, and was off. I stopped for a short time at the managers office to tell him where I was going, and if I wasn't back in a month, he could keep or sell my stuff. With that taken care of, I was off.

“What most people aren't aware of, is that there is a whole network of abandoned flood channels right below Las Vegas, and for the longest time, they have been used by the homeless, and those who do not want to live a normal life.” I had been driving for the last few hours, and by the time I had reached Vegas, I was too tired to think. So being me, I skipped the hotels and casinos and went straight for the abandoned flood channels to get some sleep. It was kind of cold this time of year, so I bundled up.

“There is not usually any growth on the walls of the tunnels, so you might have to go out to gather food, as rodents do not usually come out in the more populated sections of the system.” I had been recording for about five hours, and was almost done with the challenge. My gas mask had been uncomfortable to say the least, but was bearable. I owed it to the people who requested it. The combination of gas mask and my multitude of guns and knives had scared most of the locals off, so I stowed them for the time being. I interviewed a few of them on tips to survive in the tunnels, and had gotten some great feedback.

I recorded for a few minutes later, and finished the episode. “ This is SimpleSurvivalSolutions, have good day!” I always finished off my videos in the fakest Russian accent I could manage. 'All I need to do is to edit and submit.' I was excited, this one was going to get a ton of views.

Pschewt!

That sounded like an old steam vent coming from one of the offshoot tunnels, my curiosity got the better of me. I quietly unholstered my 1911 and stalked down the hallway. This one was longer than most of the other tunnels. I started to worry after I had been following this tunnel for over a mile. Just as I was going to turn around and head home, I spotted it.

It wasn't a steam vent like I thought it was. Instead it was three tall pipes. The one in the middle was the largest, about two feet in diameter, and went all the way to the ceiling, while the other two were only as thick around as my wrist, and connected to the middle pipe in the middle. In front of the pipe was a steel circle about three feet in diameter. And finishing the whole thing off, there was an old school red valve sticking out of the middle of the main pipe.

I admit, I do not think logically when I am curious, and do not make the best decisions. So on that note, going up and messing with the ominous and quite possibly important valve was the easiest decision I had made all day.

Stepping into the circle to reach the valve, I gripped the wheel, and tugged. Nothing. It was stuck tight, and would not come loose without a fight. So, I grit my teeth and gripped for dear life, not once thinking that this was a bad idea I yanked with all my might to the right and used all my strength. With a groan I got-

Nothing.

It had not moved an inch, and I was getting frustrated. This should have turned by now, why is it so stuck? I looked closer at the valve, and noticed arrows.

Going left.

'I am an idiot' I mentally berated myself, it was so simple. Shaking my head, I yanked the wheel to the left, and this time, I got results, the valve started turning. Spinning it faster and faster, I did not stop to think how it was turning this much. Then it fell off.

'Shit, I am going to have to pay for that.' I was disappointed that I had let myself get so engrossed with turning a wheel, what was I, two? I started to turn when it started glowing, the socket where the valve went. It was not a natural glow, things do not glow lavender normally. My curiosity once again got the better of me as I stooped over to look at it properly.

“What the fu-” And with a flash of light, Gareth Campbell vanished from the world.

As the flash subsided, the machine quickly faded from existence, the very world around the machine changing. The walls, no longer the dirty grey of concrete, were now a shining silver color. The air was fresher, and the streets above were no longer as noisy.

A pair of voices could be heard down the hall.

“Alright, Frank, I'll do the shot.” A female voice sighed.

“Thanks Starlight!” The excited male half shouted.

“Alright, ready?” There was a deep breath. “This is SimpleSurvivalSolutions, have good day.” The female spoke in a bad Russian accent.

“Perfect! Nice job, Starlight!” The male said, with applause.

“Oh, it was nothing special. Though I do not know why you make me say that every time.

“Just thought it might sound cool.” The male stated.

As the two walked away, the only sounds to be heard were the sound of soft running shoes, and the clicking of hooves.

Chapter Two: Unpleasant Discoveries

In which Gareth meats the Equestrians

O0o0O

“-ck is... Ok, what?” Gareth stood back up when the odd pipe contraption vanished, and his entire world changed around him.

The world had gone from the dark and somewhat clammy storm channels of the Vegas underworld, to a bright and frigged evergreen forest. It seemed to be the dead of winter here, where as Vegas was just entering late fall. There was little to see other than half buried trees and snow. The forest was dense enough, he could only see out about a hundred yards or so.

Being from the desert, where temperatures never got bellow 30, and usually got higher than 120 in the summer, Gareth would have been way out of his league if he was anyone else. He was still however, freezing.

Gareth did not pull off the gas mask just yet. The lenses were polarized, and the glare from the snow would blind him. He did however pull off the filter from the front of mask.

Knowing what to do, Gareth took inventory on all of his things (still there), and started to shovel snow out from under a tree to try and make himself a shelter. This was gonna suck. He had only done one video on tundra and snowy forest survival, and he barley came back from that one, and was severely malnourished from the month he spent in the frigged wasteland. Not fun. He had been digging for a good half hour when he heard a noise that relived him immensely.

Bells.

Someone was ringing bells and chattering away in some foreign language. They might know he was here and were looking for him. Maybe he did not have to survive in the forest until spring. Deciding to walk towards the sound, he began to try and rationalize what had happened to him in the tunnels, and could not. He tried to add up what happened in the tunnel and where he was now and got a grand total of cabbage. Nothing was making sense today.

Within a few minutes, he was nearing the bells. He was within only a few yards when he heard a second noise.

Snap!

A twig. He had stepped on a twig. What was this, armature hour?He was so excited to not have to spend a few months eating boiled pine needles and bear fat, that he did not stop to to think and look where he was going. He heard the ringing and talking stop, and something starting to move towards his position. He stood and waited, as they now knew where he was. What he saw was not anything like he expected.

What he saw was something he was having a hard time understanding. They looked to be about the size of a Great Pyrenees, and with a disproportionately sized head, around the size of a humans. They were roughly as long as one too. What was really throwing him off was the color. The shy looking butter yellow one could be forgiven, but the purple had a coat the same color as a heavily infected wound. What struck him next was the horn on the purple ones head. This was a unicorn. There was a unicorn right in front of him. And the yellow one cowering behind the unicorn. It was a Pegasus, judging by the wings. They seemed to be much too small for the creature to be capable of flight. They must be vestigial organs from a long time ago or an ancient ancestor. Either that, or they can beat their wings at 17 times per second, and even then, the sheer energy consumption must be massive! And that was just a heavily laden swallow (not sure what type)!

Being the numskull I was, this thought occupied me for a moment.

“Hallo? Herr Minotaur? Sind Sie veloren?” German. I am dealing with a unicorn. Speaking German. This was just about the weirdest fucking thing I have ever dealt with. Why German of all languages?! I racked my brain for a brief moment before replying.

“Ich nicht... s-sper-sperchen.” I stumbled over the words, butchering them spectacularly well. It was really the only German I knew, other than food names. Helped when dealing with my Ex's German grandparents.

“Kenen ir farshteyn mir?” This one apparently knows many languages. It just might know English. “Faodaidh thu gam thuigsinn? ¿Puedes entenderme? Peux-tu me comprendre? Ymmärrätkö minua?” Holy shit, this was insane! Hwo many languages did this one know?! It looked like it was struggling, so I tried helping.

”Do you speak English?” This got it's attention. It smiled, and looked sheepish (why does it look sheepish, and why do I know what sheepish looks like for them.

”I do not know what English is, but I know what Gryphic is!” Great. Unicorns with thick German accents. As if this whole situation wasn't hard enough to understand already. I sighed and continued.

”Where am I? I seem to be a bit lost.” Yeah, no kidding.

”I am sorry to hear that. You are in Ponyville.” I am where? My head tilted in confusion must have told her that I did not know where thay was. ”Equestria?” I shake my head. It seemed to get nervous at this point. With shifting eyes, it asked ”Earth?”

Yes! I knew that one! ”Yes, I am from Earth. Are we not in America?” It seemed like an obvious answer, but confused it.

”Is that on the continent of Antera? We do not know much about the world out side of Antera?” Ok, this was freaky. I was on a planet named 'Earth', but I was probably not on my 'Earth'.

I think I should be more scared than I currently am. Oh well.

This could be bad. They might think I am a spy or something, and execute me for espionage. Or even an alien! Oh man, I might actually get dissected by unicorns and pegasi! Thinking quickly, I gave out the first fantasy reference I could, and seeing as how this was a freeking Unicorn speaking to me in a thick German accent and a Pegasus seemingly cowering behind it, I think I can get away with it.

”Faerûn!” I was going to die. ”I am from the Continent of Faerûn, and the country of Lantan, to the south west.” Oh, I hope I was right, that there was a continent to the south west, otherwise I was gonna get to know a dissection table real well.

”The south west?” It was stated with almost fear. ”You in the south west?” I released the breath I did not know I was holding. That was close. I cupped my hands and breathed into them to try and get some feeling back into them. I did not think that I would need heavy gloves and therefore did not pack them.

”Oh my gosh! You must be freezing! Come on, let's get you to my house to warm up a bit.” That sounds awesome, albeit a bit terrifying. Going into an alien ponies house. However, he was cold enough that he would accept that same offer from Stalin.

O0o0O

It was odd. The town had gone from a bustling community, to a ghost town the moment I crossed city limits. They must not have been used to seeing six foot tall bipeds with enough gear to supply a small third world country. But from what I could see (before they hid indoors), the males and females were rather different. The males had more angular features, and tended to be of slighter build than that of a females, who tended to be larger and had softer lines and features. Kind of odd, but I guess not all that uncommon in the animal kingdom. But it was obvious that my escort were female. The yellow one left earlier to continue on with waking sleeping animals. Kind of rude if you ask me.

What was uncommon was to be invited into a tree house by a unicorn. The house was not in the tree's branches, it was the tree. They had somehow managed to carve a hole large enough into this tree (looked like a boabab and an oak had a baby) without killing it. The tree was massive. It looked to be at least 75 feet in diameter, and over 30 tall, and that was just the portion of the tree with visible windows! Stooping down, I entered the tree.

Inside, I was greeted with the distinct aroma of a library. And it was rather apparent that this was just that. The walls were lined with books, their shelves carved into the very walls of the place.

”Well, this is home. Would you like anything to drink?” I nodded and requested some water. She trotted off to the next room, which I assumed was the kitchen. I looked around for a place to sit, and found a desk in a corner. She returned a moment later with a flagon of water. It was kind of hard to miss the purple aura surrounding both her horn and the flagon, but I did not react in fear of being discovered. So I thanked her and took it.

I had noted a distinct lack of visible technology in my short time here. The houses were all thatched roofed, with only a few exceptions. The streets were all cobblestone. There is a lack of motorized anything. The air was clean and free of pollutants. And I get handed a flagon of water. It might be safe to assume that this country, or the village at least, was in a medieval state. I might just have the most advanced piece technology in the country in on of my pockets. And I used it to film myself, and fling birds at pigs.

I was so focused on contemplating this, that I missed the unicorn introducing herself.

”I'm sorry, I didn't catch that.” Smooth. Now she thinks I am some kind of dazed idiot staring at a flagon in deep thought.

”I said my name is Twilight Sparkle. What's your's?” Odd name, but she was a unicorn. Whelp, not the first time I used a fake name.

”My name is Phelan Anderson. Thank you again for inviting me into your home.” Why did I keep using ideas from fantasy stories? Phelan was my favorite character in D&D.

”I meant to ask this earlier, but what is that white thing on your face? Is it some kind of mask?” I had totally forgotten I had been wearing the gas mask. I undid the clasps on back of the mask and pulled it off. I had been sweating a bit under the thick rubber, so my hair was a bit matted. Readjusting the goggles to their normal spot, I relaxed.

”I have never seen anything like you before.” She noted. ”Are there more of you to the south west?”

”Yes, many more.” I answered.

”Is it dangerous, what with how close you are to the Echo” She had used the word 'Echo' as one says the word 'Auschwitz'. This was ungood.

”I haven't seen any issues. What is so bad about the Echo?” I asked.

”You haven't heard of the storys?” She asked in disbelief.

”Lantan is a bit isolated from the rest of the world. Why is the Echo so feared?” It was making me nervous about what I had gotten myself into.

”The Echo is where the humans were banished to.”

Doubleplusungood.

Chapter Three: Mzark

Twilight explained how the humans had betrayed the world, terrorized its people, and utilized the blackest of magics to keep their army of monsters equipped. She told me how most of the countries in Antera swore off technological advancement, as most of them believed that it was the advanced sciences that had caused the humans to fall. My host was not one of those ponies, and was in fact, trying to unravel the mysteries of how some of the old human tech worked.

How the most powerful magic user outside the sisters, a unicorn by the name of Starswirl the Bearded, had aided the Celestia in fighting the humans. The way Starswirl was described had been depicted had led Gareth to believe that he was not getting the full story. Tales of magical discoveries and amazing adventures, yet no real meat to them, no substance. Children's stories at best. There was no factual evidence on how he had come to these powerful gifts, he had always just had them. The only reason the ponies even knew what he looked like, was that there was a single statue in the Canterlot gardens. I was told of his stories on how he had revolutionized magic. He was the first perfect enchanter in the history of the world. He could do amazing things with magic. Imbuing objects with immense magical power. And unlike the human enchanters, his only required a material sacrifice, instead of a soul sacrifice. He was credited with developing thousands of spells, and creating hundreds of extremely potent magical artifacts in his time. He was, however, mortal. The princess lost her best friend on the last day of the human war, haven fallen to an aging curse cast by the human king. The humans had killed the princess's best friend, and they had paid dearly for it. They had been decimated.

Their entire society for a thousand years revolved around lies, deceit, and black magic. They lived deep underground, far away from prying eyes, to conduct their unnatural rituals and augmentations. The very souls of captured solders were used to power the armor, weapons, and the magic they utilized. The humans began much like him. Through the course of four millenia, they transformed into nightmarish beings of unnaturally augmented muscle, deadly fighting skills ingrained from infancy, and ruthless disregard for any from of mercy.

Deciding that I did not want to be grouped with these pseudo-drow, I told her that I was an elf.

“What's an elf?” She asked me.

“An elf is a semi-magical creature. They can use magic, but they mostly focus on their knowledge of nature. They are also known as proficient marksmen with a bow. I have focused more on the physical side of elven culture, rather than the magical.” I bullshitted. I had no idea how elves worked. Phelan was a halfling monk, and rarely even fought elves, let alone got to know one. I was using my own experience in the wilderness, and my marksmanship skills with a gun (the last time I used a bow, the arrow got lodged in the dirt four feet in front of me, and I cut my cheek open on the string, so I did not use a bow).

“That's amazing! You're going to have to tell me everything!” She excitedly spoke whilst levitating a quill and paper to her. “What is your society like? How many more of you are there? What do you eat?” The questions came too fast for me to answer. The mare kept firing more and more questions without letting up, and kept going on for close to five minutes before she noticed I was not paying attention.

I had been awake for a good 18 hours, and my body was letting me know just how stupid an idea that was. Stifling my yawn, I wiped the tears it had caused from my eyes, and stared bleary eyed at her.

Twilight had noticed my exhaustion. “Oh, my gosh! I didn't realize how tired you were! Do you have a place to stay?” She asked.

“Nah, I was just going to dig myself a shelter in the forest tonight.” I said in a nonchalant manner. Snow was very good at insulating.

“In the winter? No, I can not let somepony sleep outside in the winter, regardless of how close it is to being wrapped up. You can use my guest room for tonight.” What ever wrapping up meant, I neither knew nor cared. I had been offered a bed and I was gonna take it.

“Thank you. I was not looking towards the digging I had left. This means a lot to me.” I thanked her.

Twilight lead me up a flight of stairs off to the side of the main library. We went down the hall, and entered a small room. It had a window, a dresser, and a short bed. It was a very basic room, but I did not care.

“I know it's not much, but I-” She started.

I cut her off before she could rant about something or another. “It's perfect. Thank you Twilight.” I pulled off my pack and placed it on the floor next to the bed. Twilight bid me goodnight, and went back down stairs.

I did not even bother to take off my vests or boots, I just lay down into the straw mattress My feet dangled a bit, but that was alright. It was not long before I fell asleep. But just as Morpheus was hauling me off to his realm, Twilight was talking to her assistant, Spike.

“Spike, take a note.”

O0o0O

I do not know what woke me up that night. But what ever it was, I was thankful for it.

I woke up much earlier than I would have normally. I had been asleep for probably only an hour or two. The first thing I heard was the sound of two mares arguing in hushed tones. I had no idea what they said, because they were speaking German, of course. But what ever it was, I could somehow tell it was about me.

I had a bad feeling about this.

I sat up and quickly shouldered my rucksack, knowing that this was not going to end well. I pressed my ear to the door and listened for any sounds. Hearing none other than the arguing, I slipped out. I could tell that they were arguing in the front room, so the front door was out. I turned down the hallway in the opposite direction of where I had come from.

At the end of the hallway there was a window. Pushing it open as quietly as I could, so as not to alert the arguing mares. Luckily, the tree had a lot of branches sticking out of it. I situated myself on the branch just outside the window and closed it. Thinking about it for a moment, I open it back up and place an ounce of silver on the windowsill in thanks for letting me use her guest room, however short that time was.

An interesting thing I noticed going down the tree, is that there were always branches where I needed to stand. The branches continued down until they were about six feet off the ground. Looking back, it dawned on me that the tree had grown a full set of emergency exits.

Not quite sure how they managed that, but with no time to think about it, I fell the last few feet. My boots made the soft 'thump' that Vibram soles do on hard, frozen soil.

“Hörten Sie etwas? (Is someone there)” A male voice asked from about 30 feet to my left. A stallion in dull grey armor rounded the corner. He must have heard the thump I made. I held my breath and waited for the worst.

“Du sorgst dich zu viel (You worry too much). Wenn es jemanden gibt , würden wir hörten ihre Hufe haben. (If there is someone, we'd hear their hooves)” A female voice called. The stallion looked in my general direction for a moment longer, before sighing and admitting defeat to the mare. It must have been too dark for him to see well. I could not believe my luck! He had just walked away!

From what I could tell, the entire tree was surrounded There were troops on the ground, at least 30 from what he could see, most of them being unicorns. There was also ponies on top of the roofs surrounding the tree, at least another 50 or so. And at least a couple dozen pegasi patrolled the sky's around the town. And everyone of them were armed with at least one bladed weapon, and a crossbow mounted to the right shoulder or their armor that swiveled with their heads. And all of the weapons were glowing an ominous magenta.

The only good things about the whole situation were that a lot of the soldiers were chatting and loudly joking with each other, and that they all seemed to have a hard time seeing in the dark. A couple of the ground soldiers had stumbled over a root of the tree, or a rock. Some of the pegasi had flown and clipped branches. Even one of the officers (judging by the 'high and mighty' look and the differently colored armor) had face planted directly into the snow.

I just might survive the night. I began my slow and methodical trek to the forest, in hopes that I could shake the ponies in there. Keeping a constant lookout for any twigs (don't want to step on one now) or anything I might trip on. The edge of the perimeter on the tree extended only a dozen or so yards. But it took me over an hour to get behind the lines. Still taking it just as slowly, I worked my way past the snipers on the roof.

I sped up a bit once I passed the first few rows of houses, but kept it slow because of the patrolling pegasi. I was almost halfway out of the town when a shimmering green bubble sprang into existence around the tree with a sharp buzz-click. I could hear the ponies around the house start cheering and stomping their hooves. I had no idea what that meant, but I did not want to stick around an find out.

O0o0O

By the time I made it to the edge of the forest, it was almost morning. I had some close calls. There were a few time I had to ghost past a guard who was only inches away. The rock against a garbage can trick still works here too.

I had just made it to the original camp I started when I heard a scream of rage. I could tell it was not anywhere near me in origin, but was still loud enough to hurt a bit. The scream had double tones, so I am not sure if two ponies were screaming at the same time, or if someone had angered a ninth level demon.

I figured it was the former when I looked back to the town and saw the guards begin marching out of the town in formation. They must have discovered my vanishing act. Judging on how fast they were marching, I only had a few minutes to figure out how to keep them from following me.

What I figured was by far the most ghetto escape plan I had ever hatched. I took two long strips of bark and cut them down into two foot strips. I then taped them together and reinforced them with sticks. Attaching the ghetto snow shoes to my feet, the sticks barley held my weight. Taking a few tentative steps, I discovered that I still left a slight boot print, though not as sever as it was at first.

I heard the faint sound of armor clanking in the distance, so I knew I did not have the luxury of time. I slipped the spam can of 7.62X54r into my heavy sleeping bag and tucked the thing into my belt. Tugging a few times to make sure it was secure, I began running as quietly as I could.

It was more like waddling, but it was something. I kept up the jog-waddle for as long as I could. I eventually reached a cave in the rear of the woods.

The cave was massive. The entrance alone was big enough for a combine to drive through. The floor was snow free, so I put my bag and ammo back in the ruck, and tied the ghetto shoes to the outside of the bag. I pulled out my Orbez Mosin and stepped in.

Thankfully the cave looked bear free. There were some outcroppings of stone coming out from the walls. There was one about 100 feet back that looked low enough that I might be able to climb up onto it. I had just barley got my footing on the wall to start climbing when I heard someone yelling in German outside the cave. In desperation I lunged for the ledge, got a good grip on the lip and hoisted myself up.

My right shoulder exploded in agony.

I was up, but I had managed to pull my rotator cuff. Swearing, I pulled my duct tape out and, with a bit of difficulty, taped my right arm to the front of my plate carrier vest, behind the load bearing vest. Doing this made me vomit in pain and nearly pass out. But I had bigger worries. One of the pony scouts had found the cave.

O0o0O

I had been laying on the ledge for a good two hours. I was far back enough on the ledge that they could not see me.

The entire contingent had to be here. The din was just that intense. I dared not look though. I was managing to keep quiet about my shoulder Mike was right. The flask did come in handy. The blurred vision that came with the consumption of alcohol was a side effect I was willing to deal with. The lack of inhibitions, however was something I was not willing to deal with. I had taped my mouth shut after a few swigs of liquid fire. Good thing too. I felt the need to tell the ponies exactly what I thought them.

The ponies had been snooping around the cave for a while. They checked every nook, cranny, and crevice in search of me. They did not think to check the ledges. Probably because the lowest ledge (the one I was on) was eight feet above the ground. That was almost three times the height of the soldiers, and as none of them had ever seen a human they had no idea how tall one is and assumed that I was only a few inches taller than them.

My leg had fallen asleep at this point. I had been sitting cross legged for hours, and my leg was driving me mad. Shifting my leg slowly and setting it down in front of me was agonizing, a billion needles stabbing me, but I kept quiet. My leg was just starting to get feeling back into it that was not white hot agony. Pushing my leg out, I tried to keep them limber in case I had to run. My foot hit something with a click.

The section of wall next to me glowed a dangerous red hue. With a flash, the glowing red stone was reduced to a wire frame model of the rock it once was. In a second, the wire dissipated, revealing a passage way behind. It was kind of hard to miss, as the flash filled the whole cavern.

Unfortunately, the ponies noticed it too.

“Da ist er! (There he is!)“ One of them yelled.

Shit.

Having no other option, I stood and stumbled into the opening just as a bolt sailed through space my head just occupied. I leaned against the wall to the right of the entrance, 1911 at the ready. As I aimed it swards the entrance, my hand brushed something. That something emitted a series of high pitched beeps and chirps.

The edge of the entrance hole began to glow that same dangerous glow as before. In the matter of seconds, the entire process from before played out before me in reverse. Where a moment ago the entrance stood before me, there was now solid stone. There was some kind of biolumenecant mushroom growing on the walls which allowed him to see the panel. It would not have been out of place on the Death Star. Gloss black screen pared with a chrome outline that connected to the stone wall. Fearing that the ponies might try to get in and seeing only one way to possibly stop them, he did something that would prove to be a bad idea.

He pulled his 1911 and fired. The pistol rocketed back in his hand, the pistol's backward momentum halted by a strong hand. The copper and lead .45 round slammed into the control panel, sending forth a shower of steel, glass, and sparks. The only sound in the whole cave was the near imperceptible tinkle of the brass case hitting the ground. I holstered the sidearm and released the breath I had been holding.

Reaching down to pick up the case for later, his hand brushed against something. He grabbed the case, then examined the unknown item in the light.

It was the front half of one of those shoulder crossbows. A pegasus must have flown after him and was just a half second away from getting him. The flash must have cut the front half off. Without the firing mechanism, or the rest of the quarrel, the item was rendered useless.

Tossing it aside, I turned my attention to the rear of the passage. Engraved upon a gate was the words 'Mzark'. The two halves of the gate were no longer attached to the frame in which the word was engraved. One half had been flung a dozen feet back, the other looked as if it had been melted. The one that had been melted was still emitted heat for some reason. Stepping around the still radiating slag heap, I spotted a strange platform in the rear of the cave.

It was a simple looking thing. Round platform with a large lever in the center, surrounded by four gears that notched into slots carved into the wall.

Seeing no other way out of here, I hobbled over to the lever. With a pull, the lever moved towards me. There was a mechanical hiss and a groaning of ancient metal, the lift slowly sank into the ground. I had no idea where I was going, but one thing was for certain.

The wonders of Mzark laid ahead of me.

Chapter Four: Confrontation and Uncertainty

“What do you mean he escaped!” Princes Celestia was mad. Actually, mad did not even begin to describe what she was feeling. There had been a human in Ponyville, and not only did it lie to her most trusted student about his identity, but he had managed to escape capture for ten hours, three of which he was within three feet of the captain of the squad!

“He escaped through some kind of vanishing wall, Princess. We have been trying to replicate the effects, but it does not seem to be magical in nature. Breaking through has also proven useless.” Captain Gum Drops reported. She had her squad working on the wall for over an hour and a half. The princess had been keeping the peace in Ponyville and preventing the usual mass hysteria that this town was famous for.

“Well, keep trying!” And with that, she left. Celestia was not usually like this. In order to run the country, she had to keep her stress levels down low, or else it might effect her diplomatic relations with the other countries. However, the stress and fear from finding a human within her country's boarders had made for a rather grumpy alicorn. Her calm demeanor had evaporated when she got a letter from Twilight late at night about her new 'friend'. She said that he was an 'elf', but described an archatypical human perfectly. Knowing her student would not know what a human looked like, she immediately rallied the elite troops of the military. The humans managed to burn and destroy any record of their existence. The only things left were ancient paintings from long dead soldiers who had fought them.

It was nearing seven p.m. when Celestia admitted defeat. The ponies just could not move the rock. She had even tried her hoof at it, only to fail just as spectacularly as the rest of her contingent. It was getting late and she was running out of options. She needed help.

And she knew just the mare to call.

O0o0O

I was in pain. i was very much in pain. The lift was jerky and unstable. Every time it rolled over a certain pin on the wheel, there was a clank, and the entire lift would shudder and jar my shoulder. I had been on the lift for longer than I would have liked. Wherever it was taking me, it was really far down.

I had been on the lift for several minutes before I actually saw anything. And it was sudden too. It was pitch black one moment, and the next there was a door with a light shining above it.

It was an elegant door, simple in design, yet looked stunning none the less. It was a simple circle of metal wedges aligned like a camera aperture. They would all slide in one direction and a hole in the center would appear. Depending on how far the wedges tilted, determined how far the circle opened.

Not knowing how to operate the door, I reached out and gently touched the middle of the door. With a slightly organic crackling sound, the door slowly opened to reveal an absolutely giant cavern. The massive cavern was underground. And it was deep enough that the ceiling stretched up over a thousand feet. The whole thing looked to be miles long, and a mile deep. From where I entered, I looked to be at least a hundred feet up with a series of ramps and platforms leading down. There were numerous manors all along the cavern floor, and even more regular sized homes. And as far as the eye could see, there were tiny lights. On the houses, on the streets, even on the ceiling. Off in the distance, he could see a huge stone column rising from the cavern floor, near the center of the city. It was massive, even from this distance. The whole thing had a sort of Menzoberranzan vibe to it, just with less drow.

But I had other things to focus on. I saw a building with a red cross on the top.

O0o0O

The Commander in Chief's office was tiny. The room was only 5m by 5m. It was incredibly small, especially for a pony as long as the one that used it on a daily basis. There were row upon row of medals, ribbons, and bars adorning the walls of the office. There was not much room for anything else except the two diplomas, military history from Westhoof, and astronomy from PCSGU. Lining the back wall was a simple filing cabinet with drawers labeled 'military law and code', 'military logistics', ' top secret' and 'snacks'. In the center was a desk with almost no room for anything more than a few papers and a couple of decorations. There was a picture frame with the owner and their sister posing for a picture in front of the metal monster exhibit in the Canterlot Museum of Natural History. The other was a simple stature. No one would think anything of it, seeing as how he was one of the most famous unicorns in history. It was a simple statue of Starswril the Bearded. Behind the desk was a their favorite chair (i.e. a bean bag).

Trotting in was the owner. She maneuvered to sit at the desk, but hesitated. Using her magic, she reached into one of the drawers in the filing cabinet. There was a package sitting in the middle of the drawer. Confidential packages were frequently dropped to this drawer by a specifically trained courier. Taking the brown paper warped parcel out of it's place in the drawer, she placed it on her desk whilst gently kicking the drawer closed with a hind leg.

Carefully examining the parcel, she recognize a certain seal. This was a different drop than normal. The seal was regarded as a top priority in immediate need of her review. Tugging the knot open on the top of package, the paper lost tension and fell open. Inside was a clear bag with red marking on it. Inside were 15 pink crystals.

She carefully opened the bag and pulled out one of the crystals and brought it closer to inspect it. Once she had eyed each crystal to her satisfaction, she proceeded on to the next phase of her plan. She levitated the small crystal close.

And and quickly popped it into her mouth.

“Not bad. Could use some more rose flavoring though.” Princess Luna said as she munched on the rose flavored crystal. She usually tested new and innovative candies and snack foods for aspiring companies. It was not like she could be assassinated from these, due to her natural resistance to poisons. They received a royal review and free advertising if she went out and was seen eating them. And she received free junk food. It was a win win situation.

Placing the bag aside, she opened the drawer labeled 'top secret' and pulled out a manila envelope with the big red 'top secret' stamp on the front. Pouring out the contents, she was greeted with a dossier, a few letters from witnesses, and a baggy containing a single silver bar stamped in a script she was unfamiliar with.

She got a ping in her magic as she was looking at the bar. Somepony had tripped one of the ancient alarm wards she had placed on the ancient human cities.

Scanning the cover of the dossier, the Commander in Chief of Equestria's armed forces felt enchanted ice grow in her veins.

She and Celestia had a system that only they knew regarding threats to Equestria. The fact that the mission report was written in black ink and was signed by her sister meant only one thing.

Human in Equestria.

O0o0O

One thing I noticed right away with the city was that the streets were all empty. Absolutely nobody was around. The city was eerily silent, not even the occasional drip from the ceiling made much sound. Empty carriages lined the roads. The air was heavy with moisture and decay. It was if the city was abandoned in the middle of the night.

I was right outside the building with the red cross. It looked like a modern hospital from back home. However, I noticed that the door was about eight feet tall. A full three taller than that of the ponies. Unfortunately, the building was also abandoned.

Getting closer to the door, I could see various chairs and desks strewn about. The waiting room looked like a riot had passed through. I managed to pry the door open with my kukri, and stepped in. The air in here was even more damp and foul, it that was even possible. There was chairs thrown about, and the front desk had been smashed in half.

Stumbling around in the dark was no fun. Especially if you have a messed up shoulder. Running face first into a wall was not good either. Thankfully I had bumped into what looked like a directory.

Unfortunately, I could not read anything on it. It was in a too dark to make anything out on the faded sign. So, thinking 'fuck it', I wandered down a random hallway. Doors lined both side of the hall, most of them were closed. There was one open about seven or eight doors down on my left. Curiosity piquing, I looked in.

It was a small room, consisting of a medical table attached to the ground, and a box in the corner. The box had a touch screen on one side. The un-powered screen was only a few inches from the right side of the table.

Seeing no reason not to, I went to lay on the table to get some real sleep. As I sat on the table, a slight click emanated from the base of the table. The screen on the box lit up.

Wondering how the building still had power, I slid off the table to look for a power supply. The screen went dark as soon as I got off the table.

Figuring that this I needed to be on the table to work on it, I sat back down. The screen lit up again. This time a voice came from a hidden speaker on the box.

“Yazyk?” A woman's voice questioned. I had no idea what she said. “Sprache?” Again, nothing. “Language?” This time it was in English. That was good.

“Yes, this one.” I said, having no idea how to talk to the hospital box lady.

“Thank you. What is your medical issue?” Huh. Seems like I had stumbled into a self serve hospital. This was weird. And concerning. How did the hospital still have power? The city was dead and the hospital still had power.

“Um... Hurt shoulder?” I guessed. I had no idea if it would recognize what I said. Thankfully it did.

There was a click from the machine. The top opened up to reveal what looked like a flashlight on a robotic arm. There was a bright flash from the thing and the arm retracted back into the box.

“You have pulled your rotator cuff in the right shoulder. Would you like to proceed with treatment?” No matter how nervous I was about the whole 'strange abandoned city with medical robots that still worked some how' thing, I had to get my arm fixed.

Nervously I stammered “Y-yes.”

“Please place left wrist into the cuff on the table.” A panel on the table flipped up to reveal a small cuff on my left side. It must have been smart enough to tell that I would not want to move my right arm. I slipped my arm into the cuff and let it tighten. 'Is this one of those blood pressure gauges? I've never seen one that goes on the wrist.' My thoughts were cut off by a sharp sting coming from the cuff, and the feeling of warm honey flowing through my veins.

The last thing I saw before my world faded to a drugged bliss was the box opening and a multitude of medical tools on arms descend towards me.

O0o0O

“Mzark.” The cobalt princess was not even inside the cave, but she could tell where the human had run off to. Because the situation was so dire, she did not feel the desire to use the 'royal we' her sister thought was so funny. She was a 20 yards from the entrance of the cave with her sister. This had been the first human city that she had fought at.

There had been some rather confidential information in the dossier, so in order to keep any curious ponies from hearing national secrets, they had erected a spell that created a near perfect sound proof barrier.

“Are you sure, Luna. It has been over two thousand years since you have last seen a human, let alone a human city.” She loved her sister, but she had a hankering for battle that was unheard of on Antera since she had come home.

“Yes, I am sure of it sister. Mzark only has two known entrances, and this is one of them. He did not take the main entrance, so he could be anywhere in the main city.” Luna was already planning on how to tackle the situation. They could not use the emergency exit anymore (she had used it from the first encounter with the humans), as he had most likely destroyed the control panel that operated the assembly/disassembly matrix. And because of that, the only way in to Mzark was from the main entrance, and that was nearly 15 kilometers from their current position.

“What are we going to do?” Celestia was nervous about what would happen to her ponies. They had gone into full panic mode when it was revealed that the creature that walked through the town in the company of Twilight was the most feared species of creature in the world. Twilight however, was not being her rational self. She kept insisting that the human was nothing but polite when speaking to her.

“WE are not doing anything! I am going in through the main entrance alone. You know that you have almost no combat experience, especially against humans. I on the other hoof have over eight hundred and fifty years of experience fighting them and navigating their cities. I know that you want to help, I really do. But I can't put you through the horrors of war. What if something goes wrong, and Equestria is left with no ruler? You and I both know that I am right on this, 'Tia.” Luna dearly loved her little sister, but when they stopped aging all those thousands of years ago, they retained the emotional outlook they had possessed at the time, and Celestia was just as emotional as any other teenager (though much better at hiding it).

While their mental age still advanced and matured with hardships and experiences, they remained emotionally young. Celestia was only 17 when she had become immortal, while she was 25. And while Celestia was the larger sister in height and length, Luna was definitely the older and more magical powerful one.

Luna had gone off to war to maintain order in the military, while her sister had run the country in the other matters. Celestia tried to join up with the army, but her emotional state of mind simply did not allow her to make the kind of split second life and death choices that Luna was capable of making.

“I know, but...” Celestia struggled to find the right words. “I feel so useless for not being able to help with this.” Celestia had always tried to help her sister when she could. She had failed a thousand years ago to realize what had happened to her when she lost Starswirl, and was determined not to let her sister down again. She had never met her sisters best friend, but she knew just how much it had effected her when he died.

Luna gave her sister a harsh look. “You are not useless, Celestia! Somepony needs to be the face of Equestia, and I can't think of a better leader than you. You will be helping me with this when you calm down the general public. The alarm wards only show a single human in Mzark, so for all we know, he is the only one on the continent. He could also be part of a scouting party or even a raider band. But the public cannot know that. I need you to tell them what they need to hear.” She scolded her sister. She was thankful for the sound shield she had placed around them. This was information she did not need everypony to know.

Her sister gave a resigned sigh, and nodded. “Alright. I don't like it, but I can do that. Just promise you will be cautious down there.” She hugged her sister, and prayed she would be alright.

“I promise.” She hugged back.

With that, she left the bubble in search of the main entrance.

O0o0O

I have had had some strange doctor visits before, but this made the odd quacks look tame. I woke up after the machine fixed my shoulder. It had totally destroyed my BDU top, but left the vests alone. Recovering the stripper clips from the heap of cloth that had once been my favorite BDU top, I left the creepy machine to itself.

No longer focused on the hospital, I stepped out into the city. There was a distinct disconnect from here and the surface world. For one, there was very modern technology just lying around, while on the surface they still had thatched roofing. There was also the fact that all of the doors and buildings looked like they were designed for humans, not ponies.

It was kind of easy to figure out that he was in a human city. I knew that there was at least one group out there who wanted his skin for a wallet, so I needed a way to protect myself. My guns were great and all, but I only had 200 rounds for the Mosin, and 69 for the 1911. Figuring that a society as advanced as this one would recognize the need for armament, I went in search for a gun store.

O0o0O

Luna was advancing on the main entrance, glancing around the castle in nostalgia. The Everfree castle had originally been built on top of the main entrance for the city as a defensive measure, but it had taken on a more meaningful place. It had served as the capital of Equestria's military and political needs for almost a millennia. It had also been where a demon of immense power had taken over her body when she had accidentally dropped her guard while grieving for her lost friend.

Not all of the nostalgia was pleasant.

Shaking off her nerves, she set off for the vaults. Feeling the ancient human wards kick in, she resigned herself to walking. The wards kept creatures from flying or teleporting, as it would put any attacking force on an equal level with the humans. The wards were powerful enough that they could still be felt about a meter above ground.

With reservation that she would be at a major disadvantage, she descended into the chamber underneath where her old throne had been located. Her mind was in motion as she remembered the damned thing.

'I was, and still am the Commander in Chief of Equestria's armed forces. Why did I get a throne? I am only a princess because I am Celestia's sister. The nobles did not like that I had replaced the throne with a recliner that one day. It was funny watching old Hoity-Toity turning that puce color. Does his descendant turn that color too?' She was of course thinking about that failure of a stallion, Blue Blood. How his family was still in any form of power was beyond her understanding. And she still did not understand the circumstances in which he had become any form of royalty. He was totally inept at everything he did. And he was the rudest stallion she had ever seen! The moron did not even understand common courtesy. If it were not for the fact that he was a stallion she would have punted him straight into the stratosphere.

Shaking her head of the amusing thoughts of the royal idiot flying in a perfect art straight into the Antleric Ocean, she set back onto the task at hoof.

Reaching the deepest part of the vaults, Luna came to a set of doors that she never thought she would need to open again. Pulling out a rusty key that was far too intricate for any other species to reproduce, she unlocked the main gates to her first battle ground.

O0o0O

Shivering in revulsion, I threw the book into a corner. The spell book had described exactly how the soul snare spell worked, and how the utilization of the soul for energy it stored would destroy everything that made that person a person. And that was not even the most fucked up thing in the book. It had some truly gruesome rituals in chapter two. Gutting oneself while in a salt mine for extra magic? No thank you.

I had not found much in the way of useful tomes in the weapons shop, but there were some interesting weapons to be found. The most interesting was the top loading plasma blaster. I tested the different rounds out, and I found that it could do anything from burn a dime sized hole in something, to atomizing a building depending on what type of ammo was loaded in. The thing was almost too light. The gun looked like one of the old Gyrojet rifles. Even loaded the same way. I grabbed as many rounds for the thing as I could, but luck was not on my side that day. There were only five boxes of different plasma intensity in the whole store. 'I only have 40 rounds for the rifle, so I would need to conserve these.'. Stuffing the small plastic crates in my ruck and slinging the loaded rifle, I went back to the books.

The book searching did yield some fruit though. It was stated that all humans were capable of telekinesis. The book did not have any references on how to use it though. Knowing the irony of where I had been less than a day ago, I admitted I needed to do some more reading.

I needed to find a library.

O0o0O

The human was not very subtle. He had left muddy footprints all the way to the hospital. From how the prints were angled, she could tell he was injured. Following the prints to the minor injury ward, Luna found the room he had occupied.

The auto-doc report had read out that it had recently treated a sever tendon sprain to the right shoulder. He had sought out medical attention as fast as he could, and would be much more stealthy. And now he had over three hours head start on her. Having taken the human's attire into consideration, Luna could only assume that he was at least adept at hiding.

For whatever reason, he had not attacked at the first sight of a pony, like most other humans would normally have. He had even had a polite conversation with one of the most honest ponies she knew (other than the farmer, Applejack). So something was going on. And Luna was determined to find out what.

Luna cast a chameleon spell on her self to stealthy track the human. Magically bending the light around her body gave her an almost watery look when she moved, but when still, it would take a merical to be able to see her.

There was something familiar with the human, and she was interested in seeing in how this would play out.

O0o0O

I held the piece of clear plastic in my hands with near reverence. The data pad the library had automatically manufactured (took a piece of plastic and glued a computerized frame with a handle around it) for me was unlike anything I had ever seen before. I began scrolling through the vast database the library automatically maintained.

The library was really a kiosk near the center of town with its own data bank. It was right against the giant pillar of stone. The pillar was odd in itself, I could feel heat radiating off of it, and I could see an ornate door set into it about 150 feet to the right of the kiosk.

Finding the basic primer for magic, I began reading the part on the basis of human magic.

'The magic that humans use is very different than how the other species use it. The pony races pull magic in with their hooves, wings, and horns. Minotaurs use their hooves and horns to use magic. Griffons and changelings both use their wings to use magic.' The book featured a depiction of ponies that left something to be desired. Eyes that extended past their foreheads and with dunce caps for marks. I had no other idea about the other species though. 'Humans are very different though. They are the only species that uses magic with their brains. Humans used to not be very good at magic, but then lord Z'ant enlightened the all of the humans in the world about how to use more magic.' The simple worded book went on about how all of the other races were all evil and degenerate scum. I skipped to the part about TK.

'Pull in the magic with your brain. You can do this by imagining a balloon is blowing up inside your head, and the magic will work. This is the easiest part. Then push the magic down your arms and out your fingers. The magic will make your fingers tickle, so do not worry. Next, make the thing you are looking at to move to you. It will take some time to be good at it, so keep trying!' The book was simple and to the point. Why couldn't all instruction manuals be written like children's primers?

I imagined the balloon in my head, and got nothing. For two and a half hours I kept trying to make the balloon in my head inflate, with no success. Maybe this only worked with these humans.

Then, I got an idea. I pulled from the ground.

I did not think to pull the magic from the ground up through my feet and body like a pony, I just pulled from the ground. I got a tingling feeling in the tips of my fingers. Success! However, there was a problem.

I could not move anything move. I sat and concentrated on making my data pad float. It almost felt like there was a something my hands were pushing against. Pushing though the blockage, I finally got a result.

My vision swam, and black spots formed in my peripherals. Standing up, I caught my breath for a moment. 'What the fuck was that?!' I wondered if I had shifted and cut off blood circulation to something, but as fast as it came, it was gone. I figured it was a side effect of learning magic, so I went right back to work.

Lifting my hand, I felt the tingle once again. Focusing on making my data pad float to me, I pushed the magic through my fingers.

The data pad flew right into my hand.

'Alright! I did it!' I mentally screamed, too cautious to make any real noise. Though my celebration, I heard a noise.

Clop.

Spinning my head in the direction, I got ready to defend myself. But I saw nothing. Knowing that I had been hunted on the surface, I was instantly on guard. When I was excited about finding someone in the snow, I had gotten sloppy, and revealed my position by stepping on a twig. Looks like whoever wants to find me just did the same. Because I had not heard their presence, I could only guess that whoever is ghosting me, is an expert in what they do. For all I knew, there was a squad of ponies waiting to make me wish I was never seen. Or it could be a single individual. Not good for me in either situation.

Using my peripheral vision to find the command on the data pad, I set the data pad to download everything on the database (another great thing about this library), and slowly scanned the area. I was still picking up nothing. When the pad finished its download, I kept moving to the ornate door on the pillar, blaster at the ready.

O0o0O

Luna was stunned. This human had no idea how to use magic. It was reading a foal's primer with rapt attention. She had zoomed her vision in with a spell to better see what he was reading. He then set the data pad down and focused.

This was even more shocking to Luna. Humans were the only known creature to be able to instinctively use a levitation spell. This was due to the fact that most humans could access over 30 percent of their brains, ponies usually averaging at about 10. More than that was that humans were also the only known beings to channel magic directly though the brain, an act that would kill a lesser creature. To see a human not be able to use a levitation spell was like seeing a noble with honor.

She knew of only one other case of this.

Pulling away from her thoughts, Luna returned her attention to the human. For the next two hours, the only reason she did not go in for the kill was that this human fascinated her. Not only was he polite, but he was unable to use magic. He also knew how to load the plasma blaster and had knowledge of how human technology worked, so she was cautious.

When the human had a breakthrough in magic, Luna was woken from her thoughts when he started dancing and floating the data pad to him.

He looked like he was going to move towards her, so Luna moved to intercept.

Clop

Did she really just do that? Had she lost her edge that much that she would let herself make such a basic mistake? Regardless of the cause of the slip up, she had still planted her hoof on cobble instead of in the mud and gotten the human's attention.

He snapped to attention, blaster shouldered. The human somehow managed to stare right at her, even though she was still concealed with the chameleon spell.

He pushed a icon on the data pad without moving his eyes from her. A moment later, he stood and grabbed his things and stalked away.

She stayed frozen for another three minutes, un-moving. When she heard a door gently close Luna finally felt comfortable moving from her position. Using a spell to track heat, she saw the vapor trail of the human leading away from the kiosk. But the closer it got to that pillar, the more his trail was overpowered by the pillar.

This left Luna confuse just long enough for the human to get just far enough ahead.

O0o0O

I bolted down the stairs that the pillar door had lead to. The pony had not followed me as far as I could tell, so I needed to move fast. I needed to find a defensible position. Unfortunately the staircase curved to the right. I might be able to hit them, but they were far more likely to hit me. Having no real sword training put me at a sever disadvantage.

The staircase had gone on for what seemed like forever. It eventually opened up into an absolutely massive cathedral. It spanned over a mile long, and at least a quarter that in width. There were enormous pews lining the entire thing, with only a few rows to walk forward. The whole place was somehow still brightly lit, but with no visible source for the light. There was an alter near the back, but I could barley make it out. That seemed to have the best cover of any place in the cathedral.

As soon as I hit the bottom of the steps, I bolted forwards. The alter was a straight shot from the stairs. Both were centered. But there was an inherent problem with my plan. Because it was a mile away, and even the pews offered little in the way of protection, so I was totally exposed for over a mile. I was not the fastest runner in the world, I had gotten an eight minute mile in high school. But with the threat of impending doom via angry pony, I pushed it to six minutes.

I was breathing hard when I reached the alter. It was a simple block of stone with a large doily thing covering it. There were some unlit candles on the top, and a pentagram in the middle of the table. Behind the alter was some kind of control board. I had no idea what it did, so I left it alone. By the alter was a banner on either side, with some kind of horrific shrieking face depicted on them. They were both flush with the wall.

Just as I was hunkering down behind the alter when I heard the clip cloping of hooves on hard stone. I knew that who ever was ghosting me was most likely only a few hundred feet away, and was probably hiding themselves with magic. I loaded my new rifle with dime-sized-hole rounds and fired.

O0o0O

The bolt of star matter sailed past Luna's head. Cursing, she hit the floor. That had been close. Thankfully the human was not a good shot, or else that would have really hurt. She would not have been killed, but it would have burned her mane and a fair amount of fur clean off of her head, and that would not have felt good. She had that happened once when she had been fighting off the humans from the volcanic wastelands down south. It had taken weeks to grow it all back. Not fun.

She heard the thing scream something in Gryphic, and she was glad she had threshals for guards, as that tended to be the only language they used.

“That was a warning shot. Turn around and go home. I won't miss again.” He called out.

'He had intentionally been aiming to miss. What kind of human was this? No human I had ever faced acted like this one. Any other human would have shot me the instant they knew where I was.' The main aisle was fifty feet wide, but he still had managed to pinpoint her location enough that he could place a warning shot within centimeters of her left ear. She sat down on the floor with her forelegs raised above her head. She could still cast, but Luna did not want to further anger this odd human. Uncloaking herself, she remained in place and waited for his response.

O0o0O

The mare had uncloaked her self and looked as if she was surrendering. Odd. They did not seem to be the type to do that. Standing up, he braced the butt of the rifle on his left shoulder.

“I don't want to hurt you. Just go home and leave me in peace.” I tried to talk her out of flowing me any further. She was different than the other types of ponies I had seen before. Having both wings and a horn was the big give away. She was either an elite soldier, or something even more terrifying. Not taking any chances, I bounced on the balls of my feet to keep in constant movement.

“What kind of human would not hesitate to shoot a pony? Why did you come to Ponyville in the first place?” She had an almost perfect American accent for some reason. I was intrigued by this pony. Other than Twilight, this was the only other pony I had seen that was not afraid of me, or try to kill me on sight.

“Look lady, I just want to go home. I don't know where I am, or how I got here. Ponyville was the first settlement I came across. So do me a favor and just turn around and go home. I want nothing to do with the other humans, I want nothing to do with the fucked up shit they do for fun, and I want nothing to do with you or the rest of Equestria. So turn around, and go home!” I yelled across the massive cathedral.

The pony did not turn around and leave, but did not move from where she was. Taking this as the best I could get, I backed up and started to move along the wall. I kept my rifle trained on her the whole time, and never took my eyes off her.

The plan did not last long, as I had just passed over one of the banners, and realized there was a passage behind it a moment too late. I tumbled backwards into the tunnel, and landed on my ass. This was probably a really bad idea, but it kept me from being out in the open more than I needed to be. Backing down the hall, I moved slowly with my rifle trained on the entrance.

The tunnel kept on going for a hundred feet or slow. I felt my foot land a few inches lower than it normally would have. With a gasp, I managed to catch myself before I went down the stairs. It was another spiral staircase. I carefully maneuvered myself to be able to walk down them backwards.

O0o0O

Luna did not dare move. The human had told her to go home, but she did not trust the creature not to shoot her in the back. She kept her head trained on the man as he began to walk against the wall. She thought that he was going to walk the three kilometers to the entrance of the cathedral, when he fell through one of the ghoulish tapestries.

He must have fallen through one of the high priest's secret tunnels. Jumping up, Luna slowly walked over to the tapestry. She would roll her hooves as they hit the stone floor, so as not to make any noise other than an initial tink. This way of walking took longer than normal, so by the time she got to the tapestry, he had already gotten down the staircase behind.

Luna Was following with the same hoof rolling technique when she started thinking. 'Could this human not be like the others? He has repeatedly passed up opportunities to shoot me. He has stated that he wants nothing to do with my kind or his. And he had been seemingly disgusted with the actions of the rest of the humans. Could he be like...' She stopped herself, not wanting to delve into long buried memories of her most loyal friend.

The human was an inegma. He was definatly worth investiagating. Luna cloaked herself once again and set off for the strange human.

O0o0O

I had gone down the staircase for a few minutes before I felt my back press agianst a door. The door was different thant the others. Instead of a normal handle, it had five finger holes on either side. I was not thinking clearly when I put my fingers in the holes. Had I been in a stable state of mind, I would have hesitated before I did something so reckless.

Luckly the holes were not trapped. Just placing my fingers in them did nothing for opening the door, so I started to flex my fingers. There was a distinctive clicking every time I did this, and I could feel the switches I tripped as well. Getting a bright idea, I gripped and yanked. The portion of the door pulled out with my hands. The two circles of holes began slowly rotating. I pulled my hands away before any could be twisted in an unsavory manner.

The doors swung open slowly as the circles turned. There was a simple room within. It was roughly ten feet in diamater, with a pedistal in the middle. On the pedistal there was a black rod floating in the center. The rod was about the size of a slightly thicker king sized Sharpie, and uniform in thickness. There was also a human corpse next to the door.

The human was long decayed. The tatterd remains of robes clinging to the ancient bones. The human seemed to hold onto a simple grey box for dear life. I had no respect for the humans on this world, so I had no problem taking this box from the human's decayed hands. It was roughly two inches wide and five inches long.

Pocketing the box, I looked back at the pedistal. There was a small room, with a single pedistal and no other furniture. The thing on top of the pedistal was floating a foot above the top of the pedistal, and it had lights shining on it. Whatever this black thing was, it was really important. Without much more thought, I grabbed it and placed it into an extra pouch I had on my vest, right next to the grey box.

The moment I took it, there was a loud grinding noise. My head darted around, looking for any sort of crushing mechanisim or spikes. I did not find any of those, but I did find another door way had opened in the back of the room. Walking in, I was greeted with a wonderful sight.

It was a lift, like the one I used to get into the city in the first place. I looked up and saw the tiniest of prinpricks of light. I got on and quickly kicked the switch on.

I was about half way up the lift when I unholstered my pistol and pointed it straight ahead of me.

“I thought I told you to go home.”

Chapter Five: Awakening

Little did most people realize, but when Gareth first used his magic, something began. A signal spread out from his body. That a being that would bring about great change had just discovered their amazing power. This signal would be felt by almost none, save for only the most powerful creatures and beings in the world.

O0o0O

On the other side of the planet, a force was awakening. The force had been bleeding her energy into the world unconsciously while she slept. But for the first time in eons, she was beginning to wake up. The magic of the world had begun to wake up.

Magic in and of itself is a sentient being. Magic inhabits the planet in the same way a soul inhabits a body. Magic bled energy into the world in the same way you or I bleed heat into the clothes we wear. It was not as potent as when Magic was awake, but there was magic none the less.

The being had not been awakened for so long, that she did not even know what the creatures utilizing her energy looked like. She did not mind that tiny creatures were using her bleed off energy. It was what it was meant to do.

What a nobody knew was that Magic had a body. A center of her very being. Hidden away in an enchanted sleep, deep within a forgotten, inhospitable island cavern. The cavern was so stifling, that almost anyone would have spontaneously combusted with the heat.

She wanted to go back to sleep, but knew that she could not manage it. She could tell however, that a very powerful being had awoken their powers. More powerful than the being that had caused her to stir momentarily, or even the more recent one that caused her to wake for a few minutes. This one was actually waking her up, and keeping her awake. It would be a long time before she was really awake, but she could tell that she would not be awake for a few hundred years. A being as old and ancient as her would take a while to fully wake up, but she would be awake.

Slowly coming to her scenes, she opened her eyes.

O0o0O

Celestia and Luna were mildly preoccupied with the situation down in Ponyville. Celestia was comforting and reassuring the towns folk that the human would be dealt with, and only felt a twinge of magic she had assumed was simply the tension of the day. Luna had been busy with shadowing the human, and was too focused on making sure she did not loose him.

Cadance had felt the wave pass her over, but thought nothing of it. She had only been immortal for a hundred and fifty years, and had no knowledge of what a pulse like that would mean.

But this did not mean that no entity in Equestria felt the pulse.

He had sat in the same spot for over a thousand years. No matter how hard they tried to move him, he had not budged. It was a side effect of the elements encasing him in stone.

He had been so bored for so long, that he was just itching for anything interesting to happen. HE felt the pulse wash over him. He had only ever felt one other being like this one. Only one other being who put fear into his heart.

'This will be sooo much fun.' The statue could not physically smile, but anybody near him felt a distinct feeling of unease.

O0o0O

Buried deep in the Badlands (also known as the Cursed Salt Planes) there laid a massive hive of activity. A literal hive, the members of the swarm having not real personality for themselves. Drones moved back and forth almost unceasing. The drones had their purpose, and they carried out their orders flawlessly. The changeling hive was one of the most efficient machines in the world, as it only had one person operating it.

The wave washed over the hive. Every Changeling stopped in mid task. With eerie synchronization, they all looked to the land of the ponies. Something big had happened. Bigger than when the Moon Goddess had returned. A fundamental change in everything was about to take place.

Reviving new orders, the drones began creating a hanger. They had a trip to make.

O0o0O

There was a small spit of land, far away from any living creature. This spit of land was deep in the arctic tundra. The island was only a few hundred feet long, and two or three dozen wide, but the entire island was encased in a thick layer of enchanted ice. Harder than titanium, and colder than death, the ice could only be removed by the one who cast it into existence in the first place.

The island was protected by the frigged winds and churning waters that could only be attained in an arctic environment with no magic. The magic that had once been here naturally had been forcefully removed. With no magic in the area, the weather was untamed by magic, and uncontrollable by pony hooves, the weather for hundreds of miles in any direction of the island was in a constant hurricane state.

Deep under the ice laid the island, a small jut of rock, there was nothing really special about the island. Except for the mound of crystal in the middle. It did not extend up more than five feet at the highest point, but it shot down over a thousand yards.

If someone managed to get past the enchanted ice, and past the thousand yards of solid quartz, they would reach a door. Made of pure aluminum, the most magically resistant material known. The door was fifty feet thick, and had no hinges, as you needed either immense strength, or the power to move the stars to lift it up enough to walk past. Behind the door was a small chamber, only big enough to hold two items. One a solid steel sphere. And a pillar of diamond.

The pillar of diamond held something. A single figure. A human. His brown hair patchy and interspersed with thorn like protrusions. He had stark white skin from a lifetime underground, bulging with black veins threatening to burst out. Adorned in ceremonial robes dyed with the blood of his fallen enemies, he stood an imposing six foot eight. If magic could be felt here, the room would have been overwhelmingly swampy with unspent magic.

The area might have been warded against magic, but that did not protect against the pulse that the young man in Mzark released when he cast his first spell.

Sensing the pulse, the man opened his eyes.

Chapter Six: Sweet Dreams

I had seen the Predator movies. The pony in front of me gave off that exact same shimmer. She had been advancing on me when I spotted her. She froze at my command.

"Uncloak. Now." My pistol remained unwavering at where I thought her head was.

There was the sound of crackling chitin as the field was removed from the pony. I immediately noticed that she was much different than Twilight or any of the other ponies. While Twilight and the others averaged at around three feet tall, this one was four and a half. Confusion and fear were evident in her eyes, probably from the fact that I had seen her in the first place. She was also armed to the teeth.

She had a multitude of knives, swords, crossbows, tiny bottles, and even a mace. As well as this, she was clad in armor similar to the ones on the police had worn. It looked more protective than the others though, as it covered her joints better and was thicker. I noticed that, while she was armed, all of the weapons were put away.

"I just want to talk. Can we be civil with each other?" She said in a clam voice. "I have only ever seen one human who was not outright evil, and I wish to know why you are not like the rest of your kind."

I lowered my pistol, although it never left my hand. At least she was willing to talk to me. Unlike whoever it was in the tree when they were hunting me, this pony was willing to hear me out. I said nothing, but I nodded in confirmation.

"Let's start small. My name is Luna. I am the Commander in Chief of Equestria's Armed Forces. What's your name?"

I was stunned at the sheer absurdity of the whole situation. "My name is Gareth Campbell. I am a professional emergency survival instructor." Meh, close enough. "If I may ask a question, why did you, the President of an entire country, come hunting after a member of an infamous species in enemy territory? Isn't that a horrible tactical move?" I had no idea how the political system works here, so I tried not to judge how things work here.

"I don't know what a President would have to do with this. Equestria is not a business. And to answer the second question, I came after you because I have the most experience fighting of anypony on the continent. Over eight hundred years." Luna spoke with pride, while my brain melted.

I could almost hear the needle scratch on the record. Hold on a moment. She has over EIGHT HUNDRED YEARS experience fighting humans. My whole world ground to a halt for a split second as I realized that a dinky .45 pistol was not going to do much to her if she decided I was a thereat. Rebooting my brain, I looked back to her.

"So, are you an Immortal, or just very long lived?" It seemed like the right thing to ask at the moment. I mean, it was a logical conclusion.

"My sister and I, as well as my adopted niece are all immortals. We have ruled the land for over a thousand years. My younger sister, Celestia, was the one in Twilight's home two nights ago. And she was the one to drive you off before I could properly meet you and discover your motives." Luna stated. It seemed like they shared responsibilities between themselves.

"I apologize for my sister's actions. She is normally reserved, but gets this way when humans are brought up. We both lost a lot of good friends, and she harbors a strong resentment against humans." Seems reasonable, seeing what the humans did in the war.

"I would like to hear it from her, but for what it's worth, thank you. Honestly, my only motives at the moment are to get home." I would have winced at the harshness of my words, but I was far too stressed out and tired to care. "I know that my home country is not on the continent, Twilight showed me a map." I neglected to tell her that I did not recognize the continent either.

"I honestly don't care how or why I arrived here, but all I want is a way to get home." I tried to keep tears from welling up. It was harder than I thought, but I managed. Catching my breath, I looked at Luna.

This was the dumbest idea I had ever had in my life, but I had nothing to loose (except my freedom, life, and any hope of the building manager not discovering my stash of magazines), and was willing to take a risk. Taking a deep breath, I holstered my pistol.

"Can you convince your sister not to kill me on sight? I would like some advice on what to do." I was not stupid enough to trust her, but she was my best bet for getting home.

Luna's face lit up like it was her birthday. "Excellent! I suggest that we leave immediately for Canterlot. We will need a covered chariot, and a private hanger, but I think we can manage." She went on making plans until we reached the top of the shaft.

The lift stopped with a clank. We were in the middle of some kind of forest. The forest was much different than the one I landed in. Instead of snowy grounds, the forest floor was totally clear. The air was much warmer as well. There was a noise emanating from all directions that I was very familiar with. Cicadas only came out in the summertime. This forest almost seemed like it was in the middle of the summer. But what was tripping me out the worst was the fact that it was at most 80 degrees. Why were cicadas out in Arizona late fall weather? I think that this might be hot for Equestria judging on how badly Luna was panting and sweating. The cave was only about 60, and she looked like fine then.

"We should not be here. This is the Everfree forest, and by the looks of it, we are deep in the heart of the forest. We should not be here." Luna whispered to me as we weaved between the overgrown trees. "The entire forest is totally uncontrollable. The weather does what it pleases, the animals do not require pony help to survive, and the whole place it teaming wi-" I shushed her.

"Do you hear that?" I whispered as softly as I could.

"Hear what?" Luna had obviously never fought or lived in a forest before.

"Exactly. The bugs stopped making noise. Stay frosty. Insects going quiet is a dead give away that something large with a taste for meat was nearby." Luna nodded and drew the weapons from her back. Like, all of them. The area around the mare looked like a small blue tornado of steel and wood.

Feeling inadequate, I pulled my Orbez and chambered a round. I did not want to use the plasma rifle, because let's face it. Plasma is really fucking hot. Like, in the realm of 6000 degrees kelvin hot. Not exactly something to shoot off into a forest.

Why did I remember that?

There was a rustling in the bush to our left. We turned and readied ourselves.

Stepping out from the bush was one of the most horrible looking creatures I had ever seen. It stood over ten feet tall at the shoulders, and looked to be made of matted seaweed, mangy fur, and an assortment of tumors. It walked on four legs, the front two looking more like octopus tentacles than legs. Its head was massive and elongated. Resting in the center of the head was a single eye. Its mouth looked like that of a hag fish.

Luna's pupils dilated. "Bunyip..." She whispered to me. "They have terrible eyesight, but make up for it with their hearing and smell. Try not to make any loud noises. This one is young, probably only a year or two old. The adults are probably near by and are infinitely more dangerous." I nodded, not daring to make any noises. If this one was only a baby, then I would hate to see an enraged adult. It must have smelled us, as it turned and let out a screech that sounded like someone had taken an angle grinder to a chalk board.

The thing charged. Luna's knives shot towards and began slashing at the tough hide of the creature, whist she attacked with hooves, wing blades, and magic. Watching her fight was like watching a ballerina. Her moves were fluid and precise, with no energy wasted in fancy moves. The whirlwind of knives dancing with the pony, they were in perfect sync. Although there was a problem. Her knives would usually bounce off of the thick fur, and some of the thinner ones simply snapped. The only things that seemed to be working were the mace, and the crossbows.

Knowing that I could not aim my shortened rifle more than ten feet, I did something monumentally stupid. I rushed the thing. The combination of whirling blades of death emanating from Luna, along with the bunyip attacking with surprisingly strong tentacles that gouged huge chunks of earth from the ground made this extremely dangerous. I eventually made my way underneath the creature's chest. It's chest was about seven feet above ground, and covered in thick fur and seaweed. Knowing that the Obrez was not going to be effective any way else, I pressed it up to the creature's underside and fired.

I barely made it out from underneath the creature before it fell over, shuddered, and died with an ear splitting shriek. Shrapnel from the bullet flying through the creature's body, slicing organs, veins, and arteries like butter.

I love homemade dum dum bullets.

Luna stared at the small rifle in my right hand with shock. She had never seen what my guns could do, so she was surprised that it had killed the monster so quickly.

"How did you do that!? Bunyips usually take a team of ponies a few hours to take down, and with a fifty percent casualty rate! Even the humans had a difficult time killing them with PLASMA! And you managed to kill it in a single shot! What does that thing shoot?!" She was freaking out. I tried to calm her down, but only got more yelling in return. I think she was more freaked out that I had been pointing one of these at her only a few moments ago, than my ease of killing the bunyip. I kept trying to explain what I had, but her questions kept drowning me out.

More screeches rang out from various places in the surrounding forest. Most of them sounded alike, but there was one that generated a much louder grinding noise. It was at this instant that we decided to stop talking.

O0o0O

"So it throws small metal projectiles with an explosion at your enemies? It is almost like the ancient cannons the humans used, except there is no electromagnetic coils, and they did not use an explosion." Luna was surprisingly knowledgeable about the physics of ancient humans technology. What surprises me even more is that not even the military uses the tech from the human era. It really seems like what Twilight said about ponies fearing technology holds up.

We were sitting atop a tree in the Everfree. The bunyips had cornered us here, and Luna said that her magic was acting funny because of some kind of environmental lack of magic.

"Exactly. The reason I was able to kill the bunyip in one shot was because the single bullet I fired carried almost 4000 joules of energy into the animal. In order to achieve the same amount of force with, say your short sword," I pointed to the one of the smaller swords strapped underneath her wings. It was only two feet long, and had no hilt, as she just levitated the thing. "You would need to swing it at over 160 miles per hour, or over 250 kilometers an hour." I had learned early on in the discussion that ponies, and most of the creatures on Antera used the metric system. Mildly confusing, but not too bad.

I stopped talking after I made the statement. I had no idea how I had done the math for the numbers. I was just talking to Luna and the numbers came with no warning. Where did I even learn the muzzle velocity equation? And why did I remember what issue of Guns & Ammo it was from, along with the page number and the article's author?

Luna noticed my silence. "Is something wrong?" For a pony who just a few hours ago was hunting me, she seemed pretty damn concerned.

I shook my head. I would figure this out later. For now though, I was pretty tired from the long two days. And regardless of how long I was out, the medical table did nothing to alleviate my lack of sleep. It had come on suddenly though. Probably from the lack of sleep

"Nothing. I just realized how tired I am. I think I'm gonna get some sleep." I yawned. Pulling out a length of para chord from my bag, I tied myself to the trunk of the tree. Luna refused when I offered her a length for later.

"Good night human."

"Don't kill me in my sleep or I'll haunt your ass." I was already half asleep and not really thinking about what I was saying.

O0o0O

Luna was relived. The sleeping spell finally took effect. Now she could really see what this human's true intentions were for Equestria.

She lowered her horn to the humans head and focused. She could feel the signs that he was truly asleep and pushed further.

O0o0O

I was on the outskirts of a small town, quite similar to what I had seen of Ponyville. This was the town that most of my businesses were. I had set up here ten years ago, and since then, I owned over five percent of all the businesses in the town.

The place seemed so warm and friendly. I shouldered my pack and walked into town. The local ponies and humans waving at me and throwing warm greetings my way. Waving back, I continued on. The town seemed bristling with activity. Shop keeps haggling with human and pony alike. There was the tole of the bell off in the distance. From a small red building, children and foals poured out. I smiled at how peaceful this place seemed.

Something tugged on my pant leg. Looking down, there was a pair of small forms. One was a young human girl, probably only eight or so years old. The other was a pony foal, probably the same age. Both looked like they wanted something.

"Excuse me, sir?" The young mare asked. "Do you know how to get to the park from here?"

I did know. I knew almost instinctively how to get there. "Of course! Go half a mile north and turn on Celestial road. It's on the right side of the street."

The pair's faces lit up. "Thanks mister!" They called over their shoulders as they ran to the park.

I continued on with my day. Passing various different mares, stallions, men, and women that I knew, giving a warm greeting to each of them.

My bright day took a bit of a down turn when I visited Sour Grapes, the local homeless stallion. I talked with him for a bit, and eventually left after leaving him with a gold bit.

I had an idea. I had no idea if it would work, but it was worth a shot. I walked into the local inn. There was an older woman behind the front desk, seemingly bored out of her mind. I walked up to her and got her attention.

"Hey Mary, how are you?" I asked. She had been running the inn for as long as I could remember, and was always up for a conversation with passerby's.

"I'm doing well, Gareth! How about yourself?" Her face lit up. She so rarely saw any one person on a regular basis, that she relished the fact that I dropped in every day to chat.

"I'm doing fantastic! I have a favor to ask of you." I said as I pulled out my coin purse.

"Of course, Gareth. What do you need?" She was concerned, as I had only ever asked favors for serious issues.

I pulled out three platinum bits and placed them on the desk. "I need you to hire Sour Grapes for a month."

She stared dumbly at the triangular pieces of precious metal on her desk. I had just dropped three months wages for an average person on her desk like it was nothing. "What?"

"I want you to hire Sour Grapes." I repeated myself.

"I got that much, but why? Sour Grapes is the local homeless stallion, and has no idea how to work. What can he do?" She was incredulous about what I was asking her to do.

"Because I want to help him get off the streets. Sour Grapes is a good person who just hit a rough patch." I explained. "I have a plan that will help the both of you."

She gave me an odd glance, but gestured for me to continue.

"I want you to take this money, and give Sour Grapes a job. Employ him for a month and pay him on commission. Give him a list of things he needs to do for the day, and pay him a few bits for each of them he completes. If, at the end of the month you find his work ethic to your liking, hire him full time with the same plan. If not, thank him and give him the rest of the bits. I gave you 9,000, so you can give him as many tasks as you want." I explained. "You might just find that he could be your best employee."

I could see her eyes light up. She was enthralled with the idea of a no risk employee. "Alright. I can do that."

We walked out to where Sour Grapes was seated, and pitched the idea to him. He jumped at the idea of work, and immediately accepted. I saw a brief flash of a series of pictures, I saw that he would earn all three of those platinum bits after the second week he had been hired on as a full time employee, I saw his picture on the employee of the month wall, I saw him running the inn after the old woman had passed and willed it to him, Sour Grapes looking proudly on as he opened his eleventh inn. I shook my head and wondered what that was all about, but quickly moved on. It was probably nothing. Sour Grapes was walking away with Mary when a small, blue pegasus filly walked up to me.

"Why did you do all that for Sour Grapes? You could have just given him the money instead of making him work." She did not seem mad, or even confused. She kept a straight face the whole time.

"I did it so he can learn."

She was definitely confused this time. "I think Sour Grapes went to school, why would he need to learn any more?"

"I am teaching him how to work. If he was given that money right away, he would have just spent it on many months of food, but he would have still been homeless. By doing this, after a month, Sour Grapes will most likely have a full time job, and a place to live. And by teaching him to work, he can get a job pretty much anywhere. Just giving him the money would have made him very happy for a few months, but by doing this, I may make him happy for the rest of his life." The filly nodded in understanding and gave me a smile.

"Oh, that makes sense. That was very nice of you, mister." She fluttered away after my exploitation.

I continued on with my day, simply walking through the town. More and more ponies and humans waved as they saw me walk down the street. I waved back and stopped to chat more than a few times.

My peaceful day was shattered however, as a loud roar pierced the hustle of the small town. Everyone stopped and stared as a large dragon swooped into view.

The residents of the city quickly panicked, and ran away from the dragon as it neared the town. The fifty foot long dragon let out a stream of fire that set the thatched roves of a section of thee city alight. It was a dragon, not a wyvern. Meaning that it had two sets of legs and separate wings, and not one set of legs and conjoined forelegs and wings. It was deep red in color and had a crazed look in its eyes.

The dragon continued to attack the city while the citizens continued to panic. I could feel ponies and humans alike rushing past me. This dragon was attacking my town. Nobody else would come to help us. I needed to stop the dragon's rampage.

I rushed in the opposite direction of the dragon, now aware that the town is mostly empty except for the dragon and I.

"Hey you scaly fuck! Come and get some!" I shouted as I threw a rock at the swooping beast. This got its attention. The dragon stopped charbroiling the town hall and began flying at me. I ran towards the edge of town in hopes of drawing it away from the flammable buildings.

I managed to draw it away from the town before I realized that I had committed a cardinal sin. I left my guns and ammo at home. Mentally kicking myself, I drew my kukri and Ka-Bar. I had no idea of how I was going to fight a dragon with a machete and a knife, but I would make do.

The dragon, however, knew exactly what it was going to do. Before we were out of town, the dragon's fore paws grabbed my by the legs, and it flew towards the sky.

I was not exactly afraid of heights, but being lifted hundreds of feet into the air by a rampaging dragon by my legs was pretty traumatizing. The dragon kept up with its ascent into the ether, and eventually let me go.

Or at least, it tried to. I had dug my knife into one of its wrists, locking my knife into place with a vicious twist. The dragon was thrashing about at this point, trying to pull the object out of its sensitive wrist bones. It let go of me to try and alleviate its pain. I held on to the knife and swung underneath the dragons arm, clinging to the exposed scales on its back. I had made my way to the base of its neck by the time things got interesting.

The dragon managed to dislodge the knife from its appendage. It then tried to dislodge me. Preforming a textbook perfect barrel roll, I barley held on by hooking my feet around the base of its neck. The barrel rolling continued for a while. I could only inch forward to the head a little bit at a time. It really only took a few moments, but it felt like hours. I eventually made it to the beast's head.

"You will all burn!" The dragon roared. We were a mile outside the town limits. The dragon began turning to the town once again.

If I let the dragon go free, it would destroy the town and everyone in it. If I killed it now, I would go down with it. I had no other choice. I did not even hesitate as I thrust the kukri through the back of the dragon's neck.

The result was instantaneous. The dragon went limp and began falling out of the sky with me on it. We were still over a thousand feet in the sky, but falling fast. I knew that this was it. I let go of the dragon and experienced the weightlessness that came with free falling.

'I hope they are alright.' I thought of the citizens of the town I had just saved.

Then the world went dark.

O0o0O

Luna had never seen a dream test quite as spectacular as Gareth's. The dream was a perfect test of a person's character, because the subconscious mind dictates how the dream goes, and because the subconscious cannot lie or hide how its real character, it works perfectly.

He had reacted perfectly to the foreign town, as well as the ponies and humans living together. He had treated the children well enough, and the pyrrhic victory over the dragon was rare, but not unheard of. What fascinated her was how he had handled the beggar. He had sacrificed over three months wages to give the stallion a reason to get off the streets.

The dream started the individual off with a situation they were comfortable with, and in the dream, he owned a large portion of the businesses in the town. He must be very comfortable with businesses and businesses practices. But rather than the shrewd business ponies in Canterlot, who were likely to steal your idea after they had stabbed you in the back, he was more likely to help you start a businesses and make it successful. Luna was confused to the point that she had gone into the dream as a small filly to ask for confirmation on what he had done. This human was an anomaly in every sense of the word.

Not only was Gareth a truly kind individual, but one of the most selfless people that she had ever seen. He was also one of the most savvy businesses wise people she had ever encountered. She and Celestia would need to figure out just what to do with him, as they could not simply just leave him in an unknown environment.

She recast the sleep spell and erased the dream from his memory. Luna and her sister had a lot of work ahead of them.

Luna untied the binding around the human, placed it in his pack, and after checking that neither of them had left anything, levitated the human above her. With a flash, the tree was empty.

Chapter Seven: The Great Escape

My back hurt. Not the kind of hurt where an old injury is flaring up, or even when you pick up a box wrong. This was a much less worrisome kind of ache. The kind from sleeping in an unfamiliar bed. I had grown accustomed to my hammock and hard surfaces like trees and the ground over the years, and I never readjusted to a traditional box spring mattress. I had experienced this kind of ache any time I stayed over at my parent's house. Neither my mother of father believed in the wonders of a hammock.

Not wanting to put up with the overly large sheet of foam and springs, I hauled my ass out of bed. I could feel the fog of sleep slowly leaving my mind as I geared myself for the day. While my brain was slowly waking up, my eyes remained firmly shut.

I had noticed that the sun was much brighter than yesterday. Even yesterday, the sun was a lot brighter than the one back home. I passed up my normal glasses in favor of my prescription sunglasses, both of which were thankfully in their case in my cargo pocket.

My lips smacked together, the fog had cleared enough that I could tell I needed something to drink. 'I got a canteen in my ruck.' I finally decided to open my eyes enough to look for my bag.

A few things were wrong.

With a jolt of adrenaline, I realized that I was no longer in the forest. That much was obvious. The room I was in looked to be at least a couple hundred square feet, and around fifty feet tall. The layout of the room was strange to me as well. The bed was situated in the far corner of the room, while a large tree dominated the center. There was a hole in the roof ten feet above the top of the tree to allow sunlight and rain in to sustain the tree. The base was surrounded by a multitude of river rocks. In the corner of the room opposite to the bed was a large waterfall, fed by a large grated tunnel near the ceiling. The rocks that made up the waterfall's face started at the very edge of the ceiling, and continued down until it reached a basin at the bottom. In the corner closest to me was a small door to what I assumed was a bathroom, hidden amongst a small mock up of a rain forest. In the last corner was a large set of double doors, banded with steel and lacking handles. The fact that there were no interior handles set me off immediately. This was an extra large cell designed to look like a small jungle.

The next thing that hit me was that I felt lighter than normal. Patting myself down, I came to the conclusion that they had emptied my pockets and removed my vests. I did not even have my boots. They were through enough to catch the razor I kept in the hem of my BDU blouse.

The last thing hit like a wrench to the face. My veins filled with liquid Freon and the entire world stopped for a moment. They had taken my ruck sack. That sack held one of the most precious things in my life. I was not too worried about the Obrez, as I had bought it from my crazy Russian friend. The plasma rifle was cool and all, but I had no emotional connection to it. Even my phone was a nonissue compared to this.

They had taken my grandfather's 1911.

It had been my grandfather's best friend all throughout World War II, and it had first saved him on Juno Beach. It had followed him through France into Germany. The pistol had taken part in the liberation of no less than three concentration camps. It had saved him in Berlin, and had kept my family safe at home for three generations. The gun had seen its fair share of death. The pistol had been the only thing my grandfather willed to me, his Garand going to my father. Not only was it a piece of history, but it was also my only connection to my late grandfather in this insanity.

And they stole it.

I did not anger easily. It took a great effort to even make me mad. And even then, I take a while to get angry. But touching the 1911 was the fastest way to do it. The last person who mistreated the pistol knew this very well.

I felt the ice radiate from my very soul out to the tips of my fingers. My thinking became instantly clear. My heart beat leveled out, although it was much higher than normal.

I reached over to the bed and gripped the sheets. 'Silk. Perfect.' I knew exactly what to do. I ripped the sheets off the bed and got to work.

O0o0O

1 Hour Later

O0o0O

"I don't care, sister! We cannot let him roam Equestria!" Celestia had been digging her hooves in for over an hour, and Luna was getting fed up with it.

"Look, 'Tia. For the last time, he is not the type of human you know. He passed the dream test with far better results than even The Element of Harmony did! He is not a threat to anypony!" Luna tried to keep her voice from reaching epic decibel levels. "He is currently locked up in what amounts to a zoo enclosure with no knowledge of what is going on or where he is! He is an incredibly intelligent being, and will quickly figure out what is going on! The way he is being treated is inequine!"

"He is a human, Luna! You know, the beings that terrorized the world for over a thousand years and brought about the soul deaths of millions of innocents, including the souls of many of our friends, including Starswirl!" She immediately regretted the words as they came out, but did not show it.

Luna's face lost all signs of emotion. "Yes, they were responsible for Starswirl's death. That does not, however, mean that Gareth is anything like the humans I have faced. He is the only human I have ever met that would put himself in harms way in order to help me. He voluntarily ran underneath a young bunyip to save me. I do not know many ponies that would do that. I had been hunting him for hours, and he still was willing to help me. So lets try not to lump him in with the other murderous members of his species, alright?"

Celsetia felt terrible. She had not meant to bring up Starswirl. She knew that he was the only pony in Luna's entire life to want to be her friend just to be her friend. Even the ponies she associated with on a regular basis wanted the political benefits of being her friend. And she did have a point. She should not be as hard on him as she was.

"I'm sorry, Luna. That was uncalle-" Celstia was cut off by a loud banging at the throne room doors.

She had instructed her guards not to allow any distractions. There were notable exceptions though, like if Blueblood had caught fire again, or Canterlot was under siege, or something happened to the 'bald ape in the guest room'. Hoping for the first option, she telekeniticly opened the door.

There was a single solar guard. The enchantments on his armor masking his features, the white stallion ran up to the princess and bowed.

"Your Highness, the ape has escaped!"

O0o0O

I Hour Earlier

O0o0O

I had a plan on how to get out and get my granddad's pistol.

I had already identified how I was going to escape. The hole for the waterfall near the ceiling looked big enough for me to crawl through. But before I could even consider escaping, I needed a weapon.

I walked to the tree and grabbed two relatively flat river stones. I pulled up the sheet next to me and began smashing the stones together. I hit them at an angle, so to get a sliver instead of a chunk.

With a crack, the top of the stone in my right hand came off. Testing the sharpness by brushing it against the sheet, I was pleased when it cut. I cut four strips from the sheet, trying to get each only an inch thick. I was left with four very thin ten foot strips of white silk. I braided three together into a single long rope. Folding the middle in thirds, I tied the knots into it until a cradle was formed in the middle. I cut off the ends until I was left with a five foot length. I tied both ends so the braids would not unwind. Taking the last strip, I wove a basket in the center of the cradle, and cut the extra off. Finally, I tied one end to my left index finger, and tied a large knot on the other end.

My homemade sling was done. All that was left was to find some ammo. Thankfully the bottom of the pool at the waterfall was lined with gravel, so that part was easy. I gave the sling a few test shots and after a few minutes of pegging the bathroom door, I felt ready.

The waterfall's rocks were incredibly slick. There was a fair amount of moss built up on every surface. There were definite steps hidden away on the side though, presumably for maintenance purposes. Unfortunately having no boots on made this much more dangerous than normal. Every step had to be taken very slowly, and I even used my hands to help climb as well. If an outsider were looking on, they would have seen me imitating a cautious gorilla walking up a stair case.

I made it up to the top with only minor incidents, like loosing my footing and sliding a few steps down. I made it intact though. My plan then hit another snag. The hole was covered by a grate.

The grate was held in place with four bolts, one in each corner. I wedged the makeshift knife into where it was bolted onto the wall. It took some serious jimmying to get it in, but i managed to get it in. Using the other large rock, I smashed the first bolt open. I repeated this process with the other three bolts. My knife was pretty almost undamaged. I shoved the edge of the knife into one of the bolt heads and watched it sink in. Lead. As dangerous as the lead is, and how monumentally stupid it was to put it near flowing water, I could not dwell on it. I now had an escape route. Throwing away the now useless river rocks, I got on all fours and climbed in.

It was not too small for me to crawl through, but I would have to squeeze into the small space. Thankfully this was easy enough. I did not have issues with claustrophobia like my dad did. I squeezed in and slowly worked my through the tunnel. The water would pool around my armpits and flow back to normal. I slowly wormed my way through the cramped tunnel, and eventually reached a cavern.

The cavern contained an underwater lake that connected to the tunnel. The bottom lip of the tunnel just met the edge of the lake, and water falling from the top displaced the water just enough to make the water flow back in the room.

There was a lip on the other side of the lake. A small shelf of rock that I could stand on. I pulled myself out of the tunnel and into the main pool. It was only a couple of inches deep thankfully, so I waded over to the lip and examined the workstation in the back.

There was an extremely primitive lab. There was old time alchemy equipment laying around, cauldrons of unknown fluids bubbling away, and even a quill and parchment taking notes automatically. The shelves lining the walls held powders, liquids, and various other ingredients. There were a multitude of completed potions in small vials. There were four funnels, all of them labeled with images. One was a shower head, one a toilet, one a sink, and one a waterfall. The waterfall one just emptied out into the pool, the others had pipes that I could assume lead to the aforementioned locations.

It was at this point I realized that I had been captured for experimentation. They were putting things into the water supply in hopes that I would drink whatever poison they felt like serving me. I was glad that I had not actually taken a drink of water today. Wherever I was, I needed to get out.

I slipped through the door and got my first look at where I was. The lab opened to a massive hallway. The ceiling was at least 25 feet high, and there was a painting on practically every surface. Almost all of them depicted some pony or a group of ponies. Lining the floor was a series of statues, all of them varying in height and who it was portraying. At about twenty feet, the paintings stopped, and the windows began. They alternated between frosted white, and beautiful stained glass masterpieces. There were some that had other creatures, but I did not stop to admire the art.

I had no idea where I was, so I needed to find out. I sat in the shadows of a large statue in wait. I did not have to wait long thankfully. I did not see what walked past but I definitely heard them.

"Did you see the weird ape thing the Chief brought in earlier today, sarge? What do you think it was?" The voice was feminine, and sounded rather young. The voice was also speaking English for some reason as well.

There was an exasperated sigh from the other walking with her. "Look Tycho, I don't care what she brought in. I just know that she wants us to guard the things it had on it's person. That's all." The voice was also female, but sounded older and more mature.

The voices carried on for a while as they walked to their destination. I of course followed them. Making sure that my feet made no sound and I stuck to the shadows. They walked like this for a good half hour. My bare feet preventing me from making any noise when I snuck after them. I had no idea just how large this place was. The ponies moved fast enough that we had moved through at least a mile of hallways. We eventually reached a hall where there was only a single door at the end. The two moved to stand by the door, and I got my first real glimpse of them.

I was hiding behind a rather large statue when I braved a peak. They looked like the guards I had seen earlier, but with different armor. They were both female, but that was not what caught my attention. They both were pegasi, but different. Instead of the normal feathered wings, they had lathery bat wings. Thestrals. I do not know why they taught mythology in English class, but I was thankful for the lessons.

The Thestrals stood by the door with a blank expression on their faces, utterly unmoving. There was no way I could get anything of mine while they were guarding that door.

'I could cause a distraction if the threstals weren't looking straight at me. Think Gareth, what can I do to-' I never finished my thought, as there was a loud groaning-whining sound seemed to be emanating from the very walls of the castle.

This meant absolutely nothing to me, but it definitely got the attention of the thestral mares standing in front of the door. They began chatting and gesticulating wildly at each other, before one of them took off down the hall, completely passing my position.

That left me with one thestral between me and my stuff. This one was apparently the boot, as she looked decidedly nervous. The noise stopped after two minutes or so. It was just me and the boot now.

I still did not want to hurt her, as she had done nothing wrong. I needed a way to distract her. I was limited to a few options, one of which was running around and making myself look like an idiot, then hopefully shaking her and getting in. Not really a good plan. I could use the sling and knock her out, but that might kill her. I was getting frustrated.

I wiped my forehead of sweat, the stress was getting to me. 'Okay, Gareth. Think. You are balls deep in enemy territory, they have your most prized possession, and they think that you are some kind of eldritch horror.' My pep talk sucked, but it was enough to help me focus. I turned my head to get a better look at what I could do to distract her when the sun shown through the gap in the side of my sunglasses. Cursing, I averted my gaze.

That was it! I readied my sling and waited for the boot to look in another direction. When she eventually closed her eyes for a yawn, I loosed the stone. In a fraction of a second, the rock sailed through one of the frosted glass panels. With great crash, enormous shards of smokey white glass fell to the floor below, where they further crumbled. The glass must have been much thicker than normal, as it seemed to shatter in larger pieces.

That worked. The mare jumped at the sound and flew outside to investigate. Wasting no time, I sprinted to the door, and jimmied the lock open with a somewhat intact chunk of the thick glass. I dashed in and shut the door just before the mare returned.

I quickly turned to see if anyone was in the room. It was thankfully empty. The room looked almost exactly like the one by the pool of water, except this time, it had three workbenches instead of just one, and it had more ominous looking ingredients on the shelves than the first room. I could plainly see where they had put my things.

My ruck had been completely emptied, along with all pockets and plates from my vest. The things from my pockets were there as well. The items within were neatly arranged in orderly rows. The boots and socks were laying off to the side along with my sleeping bag, hat, and spare clothes. My rifle was on one of the workbenches, and the pistol and Obrez on another. The last workbench had a simmering cauldron surrounded by mangled rifle casings.

I rushed over to the pistol before anything else. I examined it thoroughly, even field stripping it. Thankfully, there was no damage or missing parts. The Obrez and plasma rifles were much the same. I quickly reassembled the pistol and repeated the process with the Obrez with the same results.

The third bench was a major source of disappointment to me. They decided to rip open over a hundred of my rounds for my Obrez, and dump them into a cauldron. That table was a total loss.

The last thing I had left to do was gather all of my things and get dressed. Packing was simple. I reorganized my ruck and satchel every week or so. So, in less than ten minutes, I was back in full gear, and ready to kick ass.

Now I just needed to get out, and get some answers. The thestral was still outside so leaving the way I came was out. So was through the windows, they were too far off the ground. Thankfully there was a way out.

The room had another air vent.

O0o0O

I had a much harder time moving through the vents. I had to tie my plate carrier vest, rifle, satchel, and ruck to my waist with the sling, and drag them behind me. I did however have my load baring vest on, as it was just a few pieces of heavy material stitched together. My pistol and Ka-Bar were drawn and pointing ahead, tunnel rat style. This made for much slower movement, but I was moving. I had been in the air vents for at least a three hours. This place was more massive than I had first imagined. My legs and arms were killing me, but I continued on. I was not looking for an exit. Instead, I was looking for a very specific pony.

Luna.

Knowing how I had been kidnapped and placed in this compound, it was fairly likely that Luna had been as well. She was the closest thing to an ally in this world, and I was not about to throw that away. Because of how massive this place was, looking for one pony was like finding a piece of hay in a needle stack. Long, arduous, and painful.

I had recently climbed up a large vertical shaft that seemed to go on forever. I had slipped and almost fallen to my death multiple times, but I had caught myself. That vent had lead to a yellow and white room, with nobody in there. And with it being the only vent this shaft connected to, I had to scoot my way back and slowly slide down the shaft.

My endurance pool was larger than everyone else I had come across from the survival training I did, but this level was ridiculous. I had gotten tired, but not enough to matter. I had been crawling for hours and was only sore and winded. I blame adrenaline.

The shaft had ended a few moments ago, and I could see the light from a vent below me. I had passed more of these vents than I could remember and seen some things I wish I could not. This one was much higher up in the air than the others. If this shaft was like the other shaft, this was the only vent. The room was the same size as the other, only blue and purple themed. This time I could hear hoofsteps. They eventually walked underneath the vent and I saw them for the first time.

I had found her. She was pacing, and looked angry and frustrated. Looks like she had been kidnapped as well, and was looking for an escape route. I could get her one.

"Psst... Luna! Up here!" I whispered to her, not wanting to alert any guards that might be nearby. "I'm here to bust you out!"

Luna immediately looked up towards the vent with a glowing horn. She seemed angry. I was too, I had been kidnapped as well. Slowly the vent was moved away, revealing my face. She stepped back in shock.

"Gareth, is that you?! Where have you been?!" She yelled, her anger having evaporated, and instead looked relived and nervous at the same time. She must have been worried about me. Silly pony, getting captured is for kids.

"Shhh... Keep it down. We don't want the guards to hear us. I have been in the vents for a few hours looking for you. I'm sorry I didn't come earlier, but I got a bit lost." I shushed her. "Look, the vent is not the biggest in the world, but we can find a way to get out."

Just as I shifted to offer her a hand, the room's doors burst open. Twelve thestrals burst in, all of them armed. They had the shoulder mounted crossbows I had seen earlier, and a smaller, hoof mounted version.

I did not think, I just reacted.

I swore, and cut the line holding me to my stuff, and scrambled to the vent. I came out of the vent and promptly fell into an ungraceful heap. But I was back on my feet in a second. I had landed next to the navy mare, and quickly stepped in front of her.

"Go! I'll hold them off!" I shouted, brandishing my pistol and knife. "What are you waiting for?! Go!"

It was then I felt something impact my stomach. I looked down to the bolt protruding from my midsection with horrified fascination.

Chapter Eight: Understanding (End of Arc I)

I looked down to see the shaft of the bolt sticking out. It seemed to be lodged right where my left kidney was, thankfully it was not deeply embedded, but would not be easy or pleasant to remove. I was actually impressed with the level of accuracy needed to pull something like that off with a hoof mounted crossbow. I was mildly surprised with how little it hurt though. There must have been insane levels of adrenaline coursing through my veins. I lightly touched the shaft. It did not really hurt all that much, and really only hurt when I poked the notch lightly. It seemed to hit something solid when I moved it side to side, and made a dull thunk. The bolt had pierced into my load bearing vest, and into me.

I shifted my shoulders slightly, and realized just what happened. With a grimace I yanked the bolt out, there was a great pain from my midsection, and I saw the warm yellow-red liquid run out of the hole and on to my fingers. As I did this, I could see another pony that looked similar to Luna walk in with a horrified look on her slightly green face.

O0o0O

'What was with this human. He seemed to be the antithesis of everything human! He sacrificed himself to save me

He had first stepped under a young bunyip to save someone he had literally know for minutes, he thought they had been foalnapped, and crawled through the castles ventilation system for over three hours just to look for her, not to mention the twenty story shaft to get into the tower in the first place, he had stepped in front of a group of heavily armed guards so he could buy her some more time to escape, and he had taken a bolt to the stomach for her. This created a large number of conflicting thoughts to run through Luna's head.

'A human would never do anything like this. He was willing to sacrifice himself to save me.' The bolt he had taken would not have even pierced her skin, but it would normally sail through an unarmored target. The fact he stopped it is amazing. Luna was equally shocked when he violently ripped the bolt out.

O0o0O

"Luna, what is-" Celestia had came as fast as she could when she had heard the alarm spell her sister triggered. They had set up alarm runes in the polished marble floors in their rooms that they could channel magic through their hooves and activate it without alerting any assailents. She had rushed over with a full contingent of guards to her room when they heard the alrm go off. Celestia had been slightly behind the guards when they had burst into the room. There was a cry of "Go! I'll hold them off! What are you waiting for?! Go!" Before the dull twang of a hoof bow went off, and the solid smack of the bolt hitting something.

She had just entered the room to see the human with his left arm extended as if to protect her sister behind him, whilst he ripped the bolt out of his abdomen with his right. The yellow fluid flowing freely from where his kidney was had thoroughly disgusting her. As a statesmare, she had never had to deal with the effects of war, and what it would do to a person. The fact he was leaking a bodily fluid that she was fairly confident on what it was all over her sisters floor had almost caused her to loose her lunch all over the floor. The fact the human was still standing up was incredible. For a moment, he stood there unmoving, before he sunk to his knees.

O0o0O

I screamed. The noise pierced the silent room, catching the ponies off guard. I clutched at the leaking hole in my blouse to try to stop the flow. There was a wild look in my eyes, like a cornered animal. Luna rushed to my side, attempting to help, but she knew that there was little she could do for me, and called for a medic. I fell over to my side, simply whimpering and crying out. I could feel two other ponies rush over to me and magically undo my vest and blouse. As I saw the white saddlebags adorned with red crosses on their backs, I knew help had come.

I smiled. This was too funny. Deciding to allow my game to end, I jumped to my feet laughing. Enjoying the shocked looks I got, I proved ed to rip open the pouch on my vest and pull out the now ruined flask from the pocket. It had sailed through the front, and pierced the back, so as too poke into my gut. The hole was only sightly more painful than a paintball, but the alcohol that poured out had caused the small hole to burn like I had been stabbed full on. The actual wound, however small it may have been, would still hurt like a son-of-a-bitch tomorrow. Assuming I lived until tomorrow.

Suddenly dead serious, I pointed my pistol at the large white mare at the rear of the group of guards. I could hear the clicks of reading crossbows, but none of them actually fired, as I was aiming at what I could was an officer of fairly significant rank. "Alright, who are you, where are we, and why did you kidnap us? Actually, scratch that. I don't give a shit who you are, or why you kidnapped us. All I want to know is where we are." I kept all emotion out of my voice, so as not to give the ponies in front of me any indication of my actual mental state, all the while keeping an arm in front of the cobalt mare who I had fought next too against an eldritch horror.

"How dare you!" The white mare in front of me screamed.

"How dare I? How dare I?!" This time I let my anger show. "No fuck you lady! Let me tell you how it is from my point of view. I get plunked into some alien world against my will. I have been hunted, I have fought a monster straight out of legend, and then you have the gall to kidnap both I and the President of Equestira, lock me in a fucking zoo enclosure like Harambe and experiment on me with poisons in the water, and then steal my grandfather's pistol. So I don't give a shit what you think about me, so why don't you take your posses, and fuck off!" My rage had reached a new height. Finally mobilizing it had made me realize just how screwed I am.

"I- I-" The white mare stammered. The guards looked stunned. The mare's face suddenly looked as if it was carved of stone. She opened her mouth, looking like she had something to say.

"Guards. Stand down."

This had not come from the white mare's mouth (which was still open, but this time in confusion). The guards automatically lowered their weapons and snapped to attention with a sharp "Jawohl" I followed the direction of the voice. My heart sank as I realized just what I had gotten myself into.

Luna walked around my now lowering arm and began barking orders in German to the guards, all of whom after receiving them shouting "Jawohl!" and dashed off, presumably to carry out their orders. After all of the guards were off doing whatever they were supposed to be doing, she beckoned the white mare into the room, and closed the door. The white mare was directed to a overstuffed bean bag on the floor, while I was shown to another on the opposite side of the room, but only after I levitated my things out from the vent. Luna maneuvered a bean bag to the center of the room near the door, so as to create a rough triangle between the three of us.

The white mare and Luna both sat down on the bean bags, while I worked on putting my stuff again. After finally getting everything back in place, I leaned against a wall with the plasma rifle cradled in my arms.

"Alright. I propose that we take turns asking questions. You ask a question and then one of us will ask a question. Does this work with you?" Luna asked me.

"Yeah. Why are you working with her?" My question was laced with a hint of accusation. I was hurt, oddly enough. I had only known her for a few hours at best.

"This is Celestia. My sister." My brain broke a bit. The mare who kidnapped me was the sister to the closest thing I had to a friend. I felt a little betrayed to be honest. "My turn. Why are you here?"

"One of life's great mysteries isn't it? Why am I here? I mean, am I the product of some cosmic coincidence? Or is there really a God, watching everything. You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know Luna, but it keeps me up at night."

Both mares gave me a blank stare. "What? I mean why are we out here, in Equestira?"

"Oh! I don't know. I was out exploring and saw something shining and looked at it. Next thing I know, I'm here." I gave an honest answer this time. "Why did you kidnap me?" I asked Celestia.

"That was not me." Celestia answered. "And you were not foalnapped. You were brought in to see if you were a threat or not. We did not mean to cause you any distress."

"Well that turned out well, don't you think?" I questioned sarcastically.

"I apologize for any discomfort you may have experienced." She was very diplomatic, I will give her that.

The questioning eventually broke down to Celestia and I swapping questions and thinly veiled insults.

O0o0O

Luna let her sister question the human for a while. She was by far the more diplomatic of the two. Although she had a justified prejudice against humans, she was tackling it very well. She got to thinking while the two talked.

Gareth was not a normal human, and this had been established in her mind. But the dream test and his actions in the last few minutes had rocked any remaining preconceptions to the core. Never before had a human tried to save the life of a nonhuman, even in the efforts to sew the seeds of chaos in a country. He had crawled around in air ducts for three hours while lugging nearly thirty kilos behind him, and risked what he thought was death if caught, all in an effort to find and rescue her from a supposed foalnapper. He had even been willing to sacrifice his own life just so she could get a few extra seconds to escape. She knew that gun only held eight shots before it needed a reload, then it only had seven. He would have had 24 bolts in him before he could get more than four off.

His dream test was even more telling. Because the subconscious was incapable of lying, she had seen him for what he truly was. He was a teacher at heart, and wanted to help ponies. But he was also startlingly intelligent. He knew that he did not have the skills or knowledge to teach the beggar how to work, so he paid someone to teach the beggar for him instead. There were not many ponies like that in the world, and all of them were philanthropic and very, very wealthy. This human would go places.

Luna mused on this for a while, and came to a conclusion.

'There are only three possibilities on why he is so different. A.) He is not a human. He could be an 'Elf' like he told Twilight three days ago. He could simply look like a human, but not actually one. B.) He is unaffected by the curse that Z'ant cast. The curse is well known throughout the immortal community, and that it effected the humans magic, which was focused in their brains. It is not likely, but he could interact with magic differently than the other humans. Like Starswirl... C.) The curse has been lifted. Not very likely, but possible.

Luna needed to find out.

"Gareth, I have a question. How did levitating things feel?"

O0o0O

I stopped my scathing answer to Celestia's question. Luna had asked a fairly random question.

How did my magic feel? When I first attempted the spell, I felt a pull to the Earth from my hands, but now, I only felt pressure in my arms and legs now. The magic had a feed back. Even in Ponyland, Newton was still enforcing his laws. Granted, these were drastically reduced, but only a five to one ratio. Lifting a hundred pounds of crap felt like twenty. I told Luna this. I got a nod in response and another question.

"How long did it take you to learn this spell?"

These were some really random questions. "About two hours. Why?"

Luna stood up. "We are done with questions now. Come with me." Luna ordered.

Celestia and I both stood and moved to follow her. We walked down the stairs, through a few large hallways, and into a massive room lined with guards and civilians alike. The two sisters entered before me and were all met with a bow. When I entered, there were three distinct reactions.

There were the civilians, who all looked at me with confusion and fear. I was a creature that they had probably never seen before, and reacted accordingly. There were also the reactions of the two distinct set of guards. There were the thestral guards. They all looked at me with a healthy sense of distrust. But there was an undertone of respect and admiration. Then there was the ponies clad in gold and, in only one case, purple. There's was easy. Hate. Pure, unadulterated hatred. The one in purple seemed to be visibly trembling in rage.

Luna stood in front of everyone to make an announcement. She motioned for me to stand to her left, and Celestia to her right. "Gentlecolts and Mares, I have a few announcements for today. Today we have received a visitor from another country. This is Gareth from the continent of Faerûn, hailing from the country of Lanten. His kind are called 'Elves', and are renowned for their intellect and technological prowess."

Holy fucking shit, she was using my lie to create a fake background. This was kind of awesome, but at the same time, kind of worrying. What if I was found out?

"He has emigrated to Equestia today, and has been made a full citizen. I expect you to treat him with the same respect that you would give any other pony." She gave me full citizenship. Just like that. I was not too concerned, as I had literally nowhere else to go. But I was curious on the why.

"Secondly, due to an unforeseen complication in today's evens, both Day and Night Court are canceled for today." This drew some quiet groans from the crowd. "And lastly, I must address the rumors about a human sighting in Ponyville." The crowd gasped. They had likely not even heard of the incident in the small town.

"All that happened in Ponyville was a miscommunication with the locals. They saw Gareth here, and assumed that he was a human. He had encountered the locals, and because of the uncertainty of what humans look like, they simply jumped to conclusions." This part was true.

The ponies had no clue on what humans look like. All they had was a horrible propaganda caricature from a thousand yeas ago that featured the worst features on a human. The eyes were so small, they looked like simple dots. The hair was patchy and matted. The face looked like it had been smashed in with the exception of the nose, which was red and bulbous. The arms were gangling and the legs were twig like, with watermelon sized feet. The ears were like over large fins, and had tufts of hair sprouting out of the center. They were hunched over almost like an ape, and were dressed in potato sacks and loin cloths. All of them were wielding sticks and bananas. All in all, not very flattering.

"So in closing, there is no human threat to Equestria." With that, the mare walked off, leaving Celestia and I to follow. The thestral's and pony guard's eyes followed me. Respect in the former, and loathing in the later.

O0o0O

We were off in a simple sitting room. The Princess had ordered tea from a server pony, while Luna and I ordered coffee.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, sipping at our respective drinks. Luna and Celestia seemed to enjoy theirs well enough, but I set mine down on a table after a few minutes. It was simply too weak to be palatable.

Eventually I broke the silence. "Why?"

Seeming to understand what the meaning behind the question, Luna answered with, "Because you will do amazing things, but you need to be a citizen to do them."

"Like what?"

"That is for you to decide for yourself, Gareth."

With that, we returned to our silence.

Chapter Nine: Questions Answered

There was a long silence in the room. Nobody felt like talking. The sisters sat at one end of the small coffee table, with me at the other. Luna and Celestia were both seated on over-stuffed bean bags, and I was kneeling on the ground, and sitting on my heals. My ruck was slung off to one side, and my plate-carrier to another.

The tension in the room was almost tangible in its intensity. I needed some real answers.

"I assume you want to know more about why I made you a citizen." Luna stated.

I nodded, not feeling like speaking. The stress from the past two days was beginning to set in.

She sighed and set her cup down.

"A long time ago, there was a human named Z'ant. Z'ant was single handedly responsible for the human condition. He indirectly caused the humans to devolve into the monsters of legend."

"What did he do?" I asked.

Celestia spoke up this time. "He activated an ancient relic of unspeakable evil. The Krivbeknih. A book of forbidden knowledge."

Luna continued. "What makes a curse a curse is how it effects you. A compulsion effects the mind, a binding effects the will, and a curse effects the connection to the magic of the world.

"The magic of Earth is an ambient force that permeates everything, with the exceptions of natural and artificial thaumatological dead zones. All sentient creatures are capable of utilizing this energy with a focus and converter. The focus in a creature is a crystalline structure that channels magic into their body. The converter is a tiny organ directly next to the focus which turns raw magic into usable magic, stores it for later use, and feeds it back into the focus to be used. The larger the converter, the larger a pool of magic a creature has. In unicorns, the focus is their horn, and the converter is a usually a pea sized speck behind it, though one has been recorded to be the size of a walnut. With pegasi, it is the wing bones as a focus, and a thin band spanning the area between the wings. Earth ponies hooves act as both the focus and converter. Alicorns have all three of these, for a total of seven foci, and six converters. This rule can be seen in every sentient species in the world, with the exception of one.

"Humans were different. Instead of having a focus and a converter, they a one-way-focus had two converters. One in the brain, and one just behind the navel, with the focus being in the center of the sternum. Humans had almost no magic, save for levitation and rituals. The lack of a normal focus caused the humans to internalize the magic, creating augmentations to their bodies. Most notably, the humans were renowned for having an astounding intellect. An average human could out think even the smartest ponies. But because of this abnormality, the humans were effected by curses in a drastically different way. Because of the one-way-focus, they could not remove a curse until a counter curse was delivered.

"When Z'ant cursed the humans, he did it in a way so as to make the curse self replicating, and permanent. All humans were cursed to be monsters, and they were monsters from the time they were born. If the curse sensed someone with the one-way-focus unique to humans, it would infect them, and permanently alter their psyche. There is no counter curse, because it was designed to adapt to all attempts to lift the curse. Every time we tried, it would work for a second, then take root again, only more established. As long as there is still one cursed human in the world, there is no hope for a cure.

"What keeps you from being effected by the curse is that you have an even more unique connection to magic than humans. Rare to the point where I have only ever seen one other with it. You are something called a Warlock."

I knew what a warlock was. I had a buddy I gamed with who loved his warlock character. His character was not too bright. He did not use spells too often, and would instead make full use of his enchanting feats. He once killed the BBEG in the campaign by remotely putting a bag of holding in a portable hole. Needless to say, that was a fun game (and a TPK).

Luna continued with the explanation. "Warlocks only have a focus. However, it is not a physical focus. The focus is their soul. They can channel magic with it a grand total of thirteen times. Any more and the soul could fracture. When the decided on spell is learned, the magic creates a physical change in the body that allows magic like abilities. Unlike other magical beings however, Warlocks use caloric energy to power these abilities. They convert food energy into magical energy."

That sounded sort of right. However different from D&D it was, it still followed the basic rule of thirteen spells. Looks like I was going to be eating a lot more food.

"Because of this, Warlocks are immune to the curse Z'ant inflicted on the world. I was fully convinced that you were not much of a threat to Equestria when you stepped in front of the guards to protect me. No cursed human would have done that. That, coupled with your other actions, lead me to the conclusion that you are a genuinely good person. Someone who would be a benefit to Equestria as a whole."

Luna was done with her speech. She seemed to be impossibly tired. The memories must be weighing heavily on her. She had spent most of her early life fighting and killing the humans.

The silence returned tenfold from where it was before. I picked up my now cold cup of coffee and slammed it back. I needed the caffeine for the building headache.

After a few moments of silence, Celestia spoke to me. "Do you have any other questions?" This was asked with genuine concern. It seemed as if she had forgotten the minor spat in Luna's room not an hour earlier.

I thought for a moment. "Why have my eyes become more sensitive to the light?" This had been bothering me from this morning. I was normally very tolerant towards light, seeing how I lived in Gilbert. Cows and desert sun was normal to me. But now I was having a hard time with the light level in the sitting room without sunglasses.

Celestia thought for a moment before replying. "I think it might be because of a magical evolution. When exposed to high levels of magic, certain species develop physical changes to their body that is usually beneficial to their survival. In the case of humans, they develop acute night vision, as they live underground most of the time. Unlike a curse, this is based on the species, not the connection to magic."

"So you're telling me that I got a Shine-Job, and it didn't cost me two hundred menthols in a dark prison?" I smirked to my self.

"A what? And what is a 'Menthol'?"

"Never mind. Human popular culture. Anyway, do you know if it will get any worse? I am having a hard time seeing even in this light level without sunglasses."

She nodded. "It will become more sever, but not by much. You will always have a hard time going outside in the day time. However, you will have even better night vision than most thestrals."

I had the survival skills, and the eyes. I just needed a shave and an utterly ruthless attitude.

I decided to change the subject to a more relevant topic.

"So I know that I have TK as one of my spells, did I accidentally learn any others?"

"That would require a full medical scan, as the changes are all physical. Which might not be a bad idea anyway." Luna responded. "We need one to determine overall physical health. But that can wait for the morning."

I nodded. I would never turn down free medical care. I was overdue for a physical anyway.

I felt it building a moment later. A great pressure in the back of the skull. Trying and ultimately failing to contain it, I yawned.

The Princess noticed and levitated a small bell and rang it. Not a second later, the door opened to reveal the purple clad unicorn from before. His eyes immediately met mine, and an unspoken threat was passed between us.

"Captain, this is Mister Campbell. He will be staying in the Lunar wing of the castle for a few weeks, and will require someone to escort him to Lunar lieutenant Gust. He does not speak Germane, so make sure to talk to him in Gryphic." She turned to me. "Gareth, this is the captain of my personal guard, Shining Armor. He will be escorting you to one of Luna's lieutenants. She will then give you a room of your choice. Go and get some rest, and we will get you into the royal doctor for your physical in the morning. Good night, Gareth."

I bent over and hauled the eighty pound ruck onto my back and fastened the buckles. I bid the Princess and the Chief good night, using their first names, and left with the visibly angry captain.

O0o0O

We walked in awkward silence for a while. My time gallivanting through the castle air ducts did not do the castle's shear size justice. It was at least three times as big as I had originally thought it to be. The halls stretched on forever. The captain kept sending me acidic glares every so often.

Eventually he broke the silence. "Who do you think you are?! You don't just address the Princesses like that! Not even the Princesses' nephew addresses them by name! Do you have no respect for royalty?!" I simply smirked and kept on walking. A shimmering magenta barrier spring to life in front of me, halting my advance. "Oh no you don't! You are going to answer me, right now!"

I turned and looked at the supremely angry three and a half foot tall unicorn. His horn was glowing the same color as the barrier, and emitting a noise that could only be regarded as magical. I squatted down to his level.

"First, I know exactly who I am. I am a personal guest of both the Princess and the Commander In Chief. Second, I do not have any respect for royalty. My country was founded because they despised the tyrannical rule the royalty imposed on us. To this day we still do. Back home, every citizen of age was allowed to vote on a new head of government every four years. Even then we still hold a massive level of mistrust for them. If we didn't like them we would get rid of them. Legal, or otherwise."

I stood, now towering over the pony in front of me. "So no. I do not have respect for them because they are royalty. I respect them because of Celestia's ability to single handedly ruling a country for thousands of years, and I defiantly respect Luna's combat prowess. I respect Celestia's ability to remain incorruptible in the face of near ultimate power, and I respect Luna's title, as it is the same title as of the head of my government back home. I respect them as friends, not as political figure heads. They are immortal and if your reaction was anything like the rest of Equestria's, then I might be the first person outside the two of them to refer to them by name in a thousand years."

The pony was now visibly shaking in rage. "Look asshole, I don't give a shit just how mad at me you are, or what your opinions are, your superior gave you an order to escort me to the Lunar Wing, and I don't think it would be a good idea to go against her wishes." I hooked my left thumb behind the hammer of my 1911. Not in anyway near firing, and looks as if I was just resting it there, but I could see his eyes flicker to it briefly. "Now, are you going to drop the shields, or will I have to do it myself?"

I could see his internal conflict playing out before me. I could tell that he really wanted to hurt me, but he also wanted to please his superiors. Thankfully the later won. The shield dropped, and without another word, he marched on.

Smirking, I followed.

O0o0O

We eventually reached the Lunar barracks. It was little more than a darkly stained wood door in the hall. Armor knocked, and was greeted by a familiar face.

"Oh! Kapitän Rüstung! Haben Sie brauchen etwas, Sir?(Oh! Captin Armor! Did you need something, Sir)?" The Boot asked. She snapped off a crisp salute, and stood at what I assumed was attention.

"Können Sie mir Lieutenant Gust bringen, bitte? Die Prinzessinnen will sie ihn foalsit (Can you bring me Lieutenant Gust, please? The Princesses want her to foalsit him.)" He gestured to me, which I responded by raising my favorite finger in response.

"Yes, Sir!" She scampered off.

A slightly older mare came up to the entrance and stood at attention. "Die Prinzessin hat dich gebeten, Herr Campbell zu einem Zimmer seiner Wahl zu begleiten. Er speek nicht Deutsch, nur Englisch. Wenn Sie nichts dagegen haben, werde ich weg sein (The Princess has asked you to escort Mister Campbell to a room of his choosing. He doesn't speak Germane, only Gryphic. If you don't mind, I will be off)." He proceeded to walk off.

The mare looked to me. "I still have some paper work to finish up, but I will be done in a few minutes." She waved me in.

Stepping into the room, I noticed three things immediately. One; There were two armed guards on either side of the door. Both were in full combat gear, and armed to the teeth. Two; There were only a few other ponies in the room, all of them thestrals. And three; They had hammocks. Finally someone understands!

I followed the lieutenant to her office, where she proceeded to sign a few papers, and stamp some others. After about ten minutes, she was done.

"So you are the one who tried to take a bolt for the Chief huh?" She looked me over. "Never even heard of somepony doing that for a non-family member, let alone a stranger. Whatever the reason, you will always have friends in the Military for that." She nodded to me. "The Chief sent me a letter about twenty minutes ago to expect you, and to give you an open room of your choice."

The Lieutenant proceeded to give me dozens of options. Ranging from what amounted to a cupboard under the stairs, to a full on royal suite. Unfortunately, none of them appealed to me.

"Lieutenant." I got her attention. "Do you have an open hammock in here?"

This shocked her. "You are a strange one. First you get temporarily detained, then go full on Tunnel Pony for three hours, protect a stranger from a group of unknown assailants. Then you curse out the Princess, and have yourself declared a foreign dignitary. And to top it all off, you want to sleep in a hammock in an enlisted ponies barrack when you could have chosen literally any other open room in the castle."

I paused for a second. "Yep, sounds 'bout right."

She smiled and passed me a lock and a key on a necklace. "Find an open hoof locker and lock your shit up. Find any open hammock and get some shut eye."

"Thanks, Lieutenant." I took the lock and key and headed into the barracks. There were rows of large steamer trunks lining the walls, most with locks on them. I eventually found one without a lock and unloaded the ruck, my vests, my rifles, and my boots into. I locked it shut, and wandered off to the nearest hammock.

It was little more than some rope tied together, but it was still awesome to me. I laid down and promptly fell asleep.

Chapter Ten: Check Up and History

I awoke to hushed whispering.

"Ist das der Mann, Kapitän (Is this the guy, Captain?)?“

"Ja, aber ich weiß nicht , warum ein Mann in einem echten Militärkaserne ist . (Yeah, but I don't know why a male is in a real military barrack.).“

“Vielleicht integrieren wir endlich (Maybe we are finally integrating?)“

“Und Hengste in Gefahr bringen (And put stallions in danger?)?“

“Ich glaube du hast recht (I guess you're right.).“

I cracked open my eye. While my eyesight sucked, I could still tell that I was surrounded by at least four thestral mares. The closest one of them had a large scar running down her face, going from forehead to the underside of her muzzle. The scar disappeared behind an eye patch on her left eye. The other three were too far away to see any distinguishing characteristics. They all had the same, dull-iron grey coloration, and the same cobalt mane and tail.

The one with the scar noticed my now awakened state.

“Guten Morgen (Good Morning!)!“ The one with the scar greeted me. Upon hearing this, the other mares stopped whispering among themselves and turned to look at me.

“Mornin'“ I swung my legs over the side of the hammock, all while using my hands to keep balance. Once I was sitting upright, I got a look around. There were not just the four.

From what I could tell, there were at least fifteen mares around the hammock.

“Shit. I slept in the women's barracks, didn't I?“ I was going to be in so much shit for this. First day as a citizen and I already slept in the wrong gender room.

“What's a woman?“ One of the mares in the back asked.

“You know, a female? I'm sorry if I slept in the wrong room. I'll just find the men- I mean the stallion's barracks.“ I apologized.

In this situation, I had fully expected the mares to start yelling at me, or have me arrested. Or even simply accept my apology. They did something I never would have anticipated.

They laughed.

Apparently, I had said something amusing. Seeing as I was not likely to be viciously beaten, I mustered the courage to ask,

“What's so funny?“ To which they laughed harder.

“Stallion's barracks! You mean Celestia's Honor Guard? The stallions that get paid to stand around and look pretty?“ The scared mare asked after composing herself. “They aren't real military. The closest they get is the Captain. Shining Armor is the only stallion to complete real military training in history, and even then he isn't real military.“

This mare had just won all of my wat.

“I'm sorry? I could have sworn that you just said that there are no males in the military.“ The mares broke down laughing again. Looks like I was right.

This was too weird.

Sighing, I pushed myself out of the hammock. The mares stopped laughing once they saw just how tall I was compared to them. The tallest one only reached up to my naval. The mares began whispering again in German (Germane, whatever. I still couldn't understand it.)

I dug into my breast pocket and pulled out my glasses. Thankfully the light in the barrack was dim, so I was not immediately blinded.

I took a deep breath and immediately regretted it. Something stunk. After a bit of olfactory detective work, I discovered the culprit. I had not bathed in over four days, and they were filled with some serious exercise.

“Do you have a place where I can grab a shower? I don't think you would appreciate me in your shower.“

One mare from the back piped up “We wouldn't mind!“ The hint of desperation in her voice and the giggles that followed proved me wrong.

“Um... Never mind, I'll just find a different shower.“

Did I mention that this was too weird?

While the mares were preoccupied with gossiping, most likely about me, I strode over to the footlocker with my stuff in it.

I did not really have much time to look over the stuff I found in the human city. The datapad was pretty self explanatory. It was a clear tablet. I was more curious on the black handle I had found.

It was a dull, matte black, and weighed a fair deal. Along either side were four indentations along it. Places for fingers. As I gripped it in my left hand, I could feel the indentations shifting under my fingers. I decided to fuck around with it while the mares were gossiping about me.While I was messing with it, I squeezed all of my fingers at once.

KA-TWSHC!

The thing extended out from itself into a sword looking thing. The sudden jerking of the extension caused me to loose my grip on the item. As it left my hand there was another KA-TWSCH! as it retracted back to it's original state.

And thankfully too, as all the mares were glaring at me, crouched to pounce with a midnight black blade in their teeth.

“Where did you get that?! Where did find a multitool?!“ The scared one yelled, having removed the intimidating blade from her teeth.

“I found it in a cave! It was just sitting there and it looked important! So I took it! I didn't know what it does!“ I squeaked, hands raised. I was actually going to die this time. I was going to be killed by adorable bat-ponies.

The mare looked me over. “Why should I believe you? How do I know that you aren't some Changeling conspirator?“ She at least looked like she was giving me a chance.

I had nothing. These mares knew me for minutes, and I had unwittingly pulled a weapon in their presence. They thought I was there to kill them. I did not even know what a Changeling was, but I could tell from the way she said it, that they were not exactly looked upon as friendly. I had to think of something quick.

This might get me killed, but it was all I had. “Luna trusts me. She can back me up.“

The mare narrowed her eyes and sighed. She stood up from her crouch. The other mares followed her lead. “Sorry about that. Just that, me and the other girls here are all veterans of the Shenth war. Of an entire army, after three months of hiding in the Garg's Landing sewers and guerrilla warfare, we were the only eighteen to survive, though Sarge is not here today. There were 64 civilians as well. A city, army, and two hundred thousand lives were destroyed with those weapons. Most of our scars came from weapons just like that one. That sound meant that one of our own would not be coming home. Look, I believe that you had no intention of actually harming us. The Chief trusts you, so I do to. Just don't go pulling that thing out in public.“ Funny, Mike said the same thing to me at one of his parties.

“Sure. I'm really sorry for that. I had no idea what it was. I'll just be going.“ I gingerly picked up the discarded “multitool“, and put it back in my bag.

In short order, I had my boots, vests, rifles, and bags on, all the while the mares carefully monitored me. It took less than two minutes to get everything on. I began walking to the door.

One of the mares came up to me as I was leaving. It was Lieutenant Gust. “We're sorry about that. It's just that when you hear that sound so often, and when you do, it means that a friend died. It seriously messed us up.“ She explained. “We're not mad, you couldn't have known. Don't think that we hate you now, or something. It's just...“ She trailed off.

“I'm not upset. It was a perfectly understandable reaction. I am sorry for upsetting you. And I am sorry for your friends as well.“ I tried to offer her some comfort.

She did not say anything, but nodded and trotted off to the rest of the group.

I quietly left the room.

O0o0O

Oh man, I felt like shit!

I was so upset over accidentally tripping the mares massive cases of PTSD, that I did not realize where I was going. I wandered around for a bit, until I bumped into someone.

It was another mare, though this time, she was not a thestral. She was however, quite tall (for a pony anyway, topping out at four foot five), bright pink, and adorned with wings, and a horn.

Now, as a top-heavy human weighing 130 kilograms altogether with gear, walking into a stable pony who weighed at most 70 kilograms, there was a slight issue. She stayed mostly stationary, while I flied ass over tits. It also did not help that she had warped a deceptively strong wing around my waist and added extra momentum to my fall.

Murphy was not my friend today, as I landed on square on my face. With that much force behind that much weight, and while I was able to catch myself, my head still hit the floor. Thankfully not hard enough to give me a concussion, but hard enough that something was bound to break.

Namely, my nose.

“Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry! You just smashed into me and I just reacted! Are you okay?!“ The mare asked.

I groaned and pushed myself off the floor. My nose dripping blood everywhere. The mare noticed it, and gasped.

“Oh no! You're hurt! We have to get you to the doctor right away!“ She levitated me to my feet, taking care not to jostle me. “It's not far from here!“

I poked at my nose, wincing at the sharp pressure in the back of my face. I felt around to get an idea of what it looked like. I tried to take a step after her, but the shock form putting my foot down shook me too much.

Gritting my teeth, I braced my thumbs against each side and jerked. White stars floated on the edge of my vision, but it was mostly straight now, and I could move with less pain. Did not stop the blood though. Doing my best to plug it up, I walked after the startled mare.

“That was really dumb! You could have hurt yourself!“ She scolded me.

“Nah. I'be dun id before. I was fine.“ I mumbled.

Moments later, we reached a new wing of the castle. Everything was bright white and felt too clean for my tastes. The mare behind the desk took one look at my now blood covered blouse and face, and called for a doctor. Not a moment later, a mare with a white coat (both the article of clothing and the fur coloration) came from around the corner.

I was lead to an examination room. She worked on my nose for a moment, and used some kind of magic to mend the cartilage and blood vessels.

There was a knock at the door, and Luna, Celestia, and the other alicorn came in. The later looking decidedly guilty. Thankfully the room was big enough to hold all five of us. The doctor was waving some kind of light all over my body while the royals walked in.

“We heard that you were here, but we did not expect you to be in such shape, Gareth.“ Luna commented.

I waved her off. “Meh. I've had and fixed worse. Just a mild case of broken nose. No biggy.“ This did not settle the doctor's nerves.

“I can tell. From what I can see, you have fixed your own nose no less than three times, set your own right for-leg, and left hind-leg, self treated for hypothermia and hyperthermia, had dozens of infections, and hundreds of insect stings. Not to mention the countless stitches you have given yourself. I don't even know how you sealed some of those, there aren't any signs of threads!“ She lectured me. At least medicine was somewhat up to par. That was a fun couple of videos, Vietnam in one, Montana in the winter for the other.

“Two words. Super glue. Works wonders on non-jagged wounds.“ I stated. Looking over at the extremely concerned alicorns, I smiled. “I told you, I've had worse.“

“Besides the broken nose, did you come here for anything specific? I got a notice that you have an appointment for today.“ The doctor asked me.

I could not remember what I was scheduled for, but thankfully Celestia did. “He is here for a magical and physical checkup.“

The doctor nodded. “Well, I already got the physical out of the way. Other than the aforementioned self-treated injuries, your are easily one of the most in shape stallions I have ever seen. Only Celestia's Captain comes even close. What is it you do that requires you to be this physically fit?“ The grilled me. I was happy that I was apparently in incredible shape, something my own doctor would have never have said.

I shrugged. “Everyone needs a hobby. And mine just happens to be putting myself into potentially life threatening situations, so I can take that experience and help others learn how to get out of those potentially life threatening situations.“ I explained. They apparently had no concept of what a survivalist was, so I had to explain what it was every time. “If I was out of shape or could not treat my own injuries, I could not do what I do.“

The mares looked between themselves. I could not understand what was being said, but I could tell it would not be good for me.

“I did not get any magical scans from you, but we can start now if you want.“ The doctor offered. I nodded and she began shining a different colored light all over my body.

This took far longer than the other scan. While she did linger on my hands and head, she seemed to be searching for something. Her searching seemed to get more and more frantic after a few minutes. Eventually, she seemed to give up.

“I hate this part.“ She mumbled to herself. Shit, that is never good when a doctor says that. “I regret to inform you that, you do not have a focus or a converter. You are utterly incapable of magic.“ The doctor was resigned, while the pink alicorn gasped in horror. Luna, Celestia, and I already knew this, and were not surprised. “You do, however have an unusual aspect to your soul. It seems as if it can channel magic through it, but I would not recommend it. All documented instances of soul magic have left the user or subject changed physically. From what I can see, you have used soul magic at least once. There are crystaline growths along the bones in your claws, though I have no idea what they are used for. “The doctor lectured.

I could guess on what the growths in my hands came from, and what they did. They let me use TK. Somehow.

The doctor started again. “You also seem to have a bit of racial evolution finishing up. I can tell from the sunglasses that you are extremely uncomfortable in the light. That one is almost finished changing. What I did find interesting was what is going on in your brain.“

Crap. Humans are known for their brains. I could be found out.

“Like your claws, there are the same type of growths scattered in a near-perfect three dimensional grid inside your brain. These growths are giving you a near perfect memory recall. It is not a true adeitic memory, but you won't have to worry about losing memories in your later years.“ She lectured, this time with a bit of a smile. Seems some good came out of this. “Just what are you, Mister Campbell? I know that you are an 'Elf', but that does not explain the sudden racial evolution. If there was any magic where you came from, then you would have a focus and converter, and the racial evolution would have taken place just after birth.“ I retract the previous statement.

I had to come up with something, quick. “I belong to a race of sub-terrainian elves called the Drow.“ I just keep digging myself further and further into this lovely little hole of bullshit. “We live underground most of the time, though some like spending time on the surface.“

The doctor nodded, and began mumbling as she took notes on me. “And how is it that you have not developed the racial revolutions until now?“

“From what Gareth told us, he lived in a magical dead zone up until he came to Equestria.“ Celestia chimed in.

The doctor nodded, and made a note in her folder. The exam was pretty normal for a physical, though with the occasional question of what a body part did. It only lasted a few minutes though, as she did most of the exam with that light of hers.

I was cleared after a few more minutes. She had given me a clean bill of health.

The pink alicorn spoke up after we left the medical wing. “I'm so sorry about earlier! I was a bit preoccupied, and didn't see you, and i only noticed you after you had bumped into me.“ She rambled on like this.

I felt sorry for the mare. She was obviously flustered about something other than tripping me and making me smash my face. She had enough on her plate as it was.

“It's alright, ma'am. I'm not hurt. Are you okay though?“

She looked relieved. “I'm fine, just stressed about something dumb. I'm glad you are alright though. I'm Cadance. It's nice to meet you.“ She offered her hoof to me.

Taking her hoof, I gave it a pump. “Gareth. Nice to meet you.“ We made small talk for a few minutes, before finally parting ways outside the main throne room.

Luna and Celestia took to their thrones, and sat down, ready for the wave of needy nobles. I decided to leave them be.

I headed out in search of the library. I had some history to catch up on.

Chapter Eleven: History Revealed

As much as I wanted to catch up on a specific part of history, I desperately needed to get a shower. The stripes on my blouse were practically peeling off. After enlisting the help of a passing maid, I made a quick detour to the nearest empty room, and cleansed myself in the bathroom.

Dressed in a new set of clothes, this time it was a simple shirt jeans combo. The soiled pants and blouse stuffed in the bottom of the bag for now, I made my way to the library.

The library was not a collection of random books like in Gilbert. Instead, this was an entire wing of a massive castle dedicated to nothing more than the collection of information. The shelves stretched all the way to the vaulted ceiling, and stretched on for half a kilometer in either direction. The shelves were filled to the point of bursting with knowledge. Not a single shelf was empty. Weather it was a scroll or a tome, there was some form of written material everywhere I looked. Small tables were spaced in recesses in the shelves every ten feet or so. They could only seat one person, but were perfect for reading in peace. A grin formed on my face.

I never liked school, hated it to the point where I slept through most of my classes and just did the work at home, but I loved the process of learning. I would read anything I could get my hands on. I would never admit it, but I was a huge nerd when it came to learning new things, and was near genius level even back home. To put it in perspective, I had no idea what P-chem was at the time, but I had accidentally managed to teach myself thermodynamics from my dad's old textbook. I had read everything I could get my hands on, history books, science texts, and even military service manuals. And after the non fiction, every fantasy, science fiction, mystery, and horror story in the house, and a fair amount at the public library. I started to see patterns in the books, where the story was no longer a surprise, or even fun really. The only thing I had no interest in was languages, though that was biting me in the ass right now.

But this. This was new. A whole new world of information, and of new stories. There were no patterns I was familiar with, no obvious pitfalls. This was brand new (for me anyway) territory.

“Bist du in Ordnung, Sir? Sie sind sabbern (Are you okay, sir? You're drooling.)." A voice called out.

Turning my head, I saw a short stallion, even by pony standards. He was mint green, and had a light brown mane. There was a quill and book stamped on his ass.

The interjection broke me from my trance. I blinked. Remembering what I came in here for, I asked, “Hey, whats up? I'm looking for a book."

“Es tut mir leid, Sir, ich spreche kein Gryphic (I am sorry, sir, I do not speak Gryphic.).“ The pony garbled. I had no idea what he said other than the word 'Gryphic'. I assume he is of no help.

I tried not to be offensive, but I think I failed at that. “Gryphic...“ I mouthed a few swear words, like I was having a silent conversation with nobody. “Buch!“ Remembering the German word for book, I pulled a random one off the shelf and opened it. Funny, this one was in Gryphic. Reading the title, I instantly slammed it back in its place. I did not want that kind of information today, thank you very much.

The pony scrunched up his face in disgust, and waved me to follow him. He lead me on for a few minutes to a group of bookshelves a dozen rows back. I think he asked if I needed anything else, but for all I knew, he was asking me if I wanted mustard on my sandwich. After getting no response, the stallion wandered off.

I navigated to the history section. The ponys did not use the Dewy Decimal system. In the history section, they organized by event. That made it much easier to find what I was looking for. I slid the large tome from its place, and read the cover.

“The Eighty-Three of Garg's Landing“ The book did not have a real author, only someone who referred to themselves as 'Sarge' as a pseudo-name.

Picking a table, I plunked myself down and got to reading. It was written as a story, instead of a autobiography, and it told the tale from the author's perspective. The story was of a young mare, just done with school, going off to the Shenth Isles, to the south east of Equestria. The Shenth Isles had the largest Griffon population percentages in Equestria, and was renowned world wide for having some of the most beautiful weather and most fertile seas known. They also had wonderful amusement parks and boardwalks, Garg's Landing was the capital city for the Shenth Isles, and was therefore the most popular tourist location. The mare had gone with a couple of friends to celebrate their new freedom form collage.

About twenty years before, the Equestrians had been at war with the Changelings. While the Equestrians were the undisputed masters of land and magical warfare, the Changelings ruled the seas and skies. The Changeling technology was far more advanced than that of the Equestria's, as they had no stigma against technological advancement. The massive air ships dropped heavy troops to distract the fighting force, while the amphibious vehicles dropped troops safely. The Equestrians and the Changelings had been at war for hundreds of years in a sort of on-again-off-again type war. There had been relative peace for twenty years, until the Changelings decided to attack rather suddenly.

And by suddenly, I mean they announced hostility by dropping bombs on the local hospitals and day cares.

The day had gone from peaceful and fun, to a total nightmare in a matter of seconds. Changelings dropping in from the sky, slashing at civilians at random, and shooting at anything not black and chitinous with magical energy bows, and slashing, smashing, and stabbing with the human's signature weapon, the multitool. It could take the shape of a sword, club, ax, and war hammer with a simple command.

The mare had been lucky enough to be in the local bath house when the attack started. She and her two friends had rushed to where the nearest guard directed her. Within moments, they found themselves in the convention center under heavy shield spells. Being one of the largest buildings in the city, once the room was packed, it could easily hold two hundred thousand ponies. And packed, it was! The mare hardly had room to breathe. Foals were crying, mares were shouting, and stallions were freaking out. The near riot continued until a massive bang silenced them.

Standing in front of them on a raised platform was the most terrifying Griffon she had ever laid eyes on. His face was heavily scarred, and was missing an eye. He had no tip to his beak, and was missing a front paw, only a wooden post strapped to his leg remained. He was bleeding from a new wound to the cheek, and was obliviously military. The Griffons had a much different social structure than the Equestrians. The males and females were in balance, instead of the massively skewed ratios in Equestria. So the males and females could both hold the same jobs, including being in the real military.

“I am Master Chief Sargent Rip-Talon of the Shenth Military! As of now, all able bodied mares and stallions are hereby conscripted into the Shenth Military in its defense. Please form an orderly line, so we can process you in a quick and efficient manner!“ The called out to the crowd of now protesting ponies and Griffons. Another concussion spell silenced them. “Unless you want to die by the hooves of the Changelings, I would recommend complying!“

There was less protesting, but only a few stormed out of the room. Now, the mare was smart. She realized that in order to even have a chance to survive this, she would need to stick with the group. And if the group was the Shenth Military, then so be it.

They only had a few hours to train, but she learned more about combat in those few hours than the years of her mother describing her time in the 325th Lunar Regiment. She learned to use a fairly primitive version of a hand grenade, a simple no-grip sword, as she was a unicorn, and a lever assisted crossbow, where cocking the lever racked the sting and loaded another bolt from the internal magazine.

She was fairly proficient with the crossbow, and was assigned to the front lines. She was sure that she was going to die. When they marched (jogged in a shapeless lump) to the brand new trenches and foxholes, courtesy of the now empty loads of bombs from the airships, they were faced with a veritable army.While they had at least two hundred thousand ponies in the defense force, the Changelings were at least double that.

The Sargent gave the order to fire, but almost none of the ponies could bring themselves to pull the trigger. They froze. The only one to fire was one of the mare's friends, a pegasus mare. Her bolt flew true and impaled a Heavy Changeling in one of it's eyes. She would fire three times more, and kill two more Heavies, and wound a low ranking Officer (from the red and purple stripes painted on their chitin.), before the rest of the front line would start firing.

The mare was sickened at first, the thought of killing something repulsed her. But that quickly changed when her other friend fell to a Changeling sniper, the energy arrow exploding in her chest, and covering the mare with the remains of her friend. After the shock of seeing her friend explode in front of her, the mare levitated her fallen friend's crossbow and extra bolts, sword , and sack of grenades to her.

Now covered by a rage and hate induced shield, the mare charged the horde of shape shifting bugs. The mare quickly became a whirlwind of death. Bolts flying out from the one-way shield, and killing almost everything she hit. The swords flew in a circle at head height, decapitating rows of Changelings. She ran out of grenades frustratingly fast, as they were pretty effective. Every few minutes, she would run back to the trenches and loot a fallen comrade for more bolts and grenades. On the first day, the mare had killed hundreds of Changelings and a dozen Changeling Officers. After being reprimanded for the 'fucking stupid stunt!', she was given a field promotion to Sargent.

The first day was a net victory for Garg's Landing, as the ponies killed ten for every one of them killed. The second day was a bit of a Pyrrhic victory, as it was a two to one ratio. The third was a resounding defeat, as they lost over a hundred thousand when the Changelings returned with more bombs. After the third day, they were forced underground.

For the next three months, the mare and the few thousand remaining ponies lived in the sewers. After the first month, they ran out of food. I was quite sickened when she included recipes in the back for 'Kerosene Roasted Changeling'. After the second month, they were down to only two hundred. The children were the first to go, as they were most susceptible to infections and sickness. The elderly were next, much for the same reason. The third month, there were less than a hundred survivors. Of a city of one and a half million, there were only eighty-three non-Changelings alive. The mare and her other friend were leading the group of survivors for months after Rip-Talon committed suicide after he lost his legs to infection. While technically the General of Garg's Landing, she refused to go by anything other than 'Sarge'.

They were on a last ditch effort to find some food. The Changelings stopped going out in groups of less than ten, after mostly eaten remains were found washed up on shore. They were pinned by the remaining Changeling forces in the remains of the downtown area. Expecting to make a final stand, Sarge gave a final speech, and screamed an incredibly vulgar insult and threw herself out of cover, sword in magical field.

What she did not expect to see was a battalion of Equestria's finest standing over the corpses of a thousand Heavy Changelings. They had been saved.

It was confirmed that they were the only survivors from Garg's Landing. Over a two and a half million lives had been lost. Both Equestrian and Changeling.

The survivors were declared national heroes, though most of them remain anonymous. Sarge and her friend included. They were each given a sword of Lunar Steel in commemoration. Each was worth more than most nobles made in a dozen lifetimes. Some wielded the midnight black blade with pride, while others hid it with a sense of shame. Only eighteen were publicly known, and had a permanent residence in the Canterlot Barracks. While these eighteen were national heroes, not a single pony was as revered as Sarge. She was the true hero of Garg's Landing. She alone was the reason they were still alive on multiple occasions. Sarge had asked to remain anonymous to the world, and it was not even known what color coat she had. Her friend chose the same route, and went into a life of seclusion.

I set the book down, the information weighing heavily on me. That something so horrible could happen, and to such a peaceful country. I had been both fortunate and unfortunate in that I had met the eighteen mares from the book, and that I did something to get them to nearly kill me. I replaced the book, picked up my things, and left to find the princesses. I needed a real place to stay. And I needed to figure out a way to properly apologize to the mares.

When I left the library, the hallway was dark. Looking to the windows, I saw the crystal clear night skies. How long had I been in the library? That was not important. What was important was finding the princesses.

O0o0O

In a dark room, there laid a mare and a stallion. The stallion was fast asleep. He had been tired out from his daily routine. The mare, however, was not tired in the least. She was wide awake. She had the oddest feeling that she was being watched. With a sigh, she hauled herself from the bed, and walked over to the vanity table in the corner of the room.

She plonked herself down on the small cushion. With a tap of her horn, the mirror rippled like a disturbed pool. Her horn glowed, and from within the mirror emerged a piece of steel. Not normal steel, but Lunar Steel. Harvested from the dark side of the moon, and forged by the Chief herself, this was her prized possession. It was a meter long, and had two points, and was sharpened along the entire length on both sides.

The stallion had no clue. He was completely unaware of her past, and she intended to keep it that way. Pulling a whetstone from the mirror, she set about mindlessly sharpening the already ultra thin sword. It was a habit from her time in combat. It helped relax her when she was nervous. After a few minutes, she plucked a hair from her mane and let it fall on to the blade's edge. With a nod, she replaced it in the mirror, and vitrified the rippling glass.

She glanced lovingly towards the stallion sleeping soundly in the bed. 'I wouldn't want him to fall in love with 'Sarge', now would I.'

Chapter Twelve: Ambush And The Imperium

Funny things that one would not expect to happen, tend to make my life just a bit more interesting. Finding out that my ex’s father was an ex-marine when he found us together. The all of the times that my old high school buddies would mess up when I was shooting a video with them, and it became the seventh first aid video involving one of them. That one time I was filming a video and was transported to magical pony land, and was now at the magical pegacorn princess’s castle.

But I digress.

What I am trying to say is, that my life gets pretty interesting at times. So when I go to find the princess after reading the entire day away, only to run into a group of solar guard ponies creeping around, acting suspicions. Hearing the library door shut, they turned as one to look at me.

“Um... Hi?” I nervously greeted them.

Because I had just left the library, I only had the plasma rifle out. The 1911 was in a tactical holster strapped to my left thigh, and the Obrez was strapped to the outside of my rucksack. However the rifle was enough for the ponies.

From what I have seen, when a pony gets scared, they do one of a few things. From the ponies in the great hall, they would huddle together and push the strongest or largest to the outside, while the weaker ones were in the middle. The guards tended to get aggressive and go on the defensive, while some held you at sword point. One could even get suplexed (my nose still hurt, even with magical healing).

I didn’t expect them to hiss.

There are a few different types of hiss that I was familiar with at the time. I was familiar with a rattlesnake’s hiss, which depending on how hungry I was, either meant to back up carefully, or it was dinner time. A cicada’s hiss was annoying, much like a steam hiss. A cat would hiss at me, but only because the damn things all hated me. And gators meant that I would have steaks and jerky for months.

These ponies hiss was unlike anything I had ever heard before, outside a horror movie. Spittle dripped from their lips, which were pealed back to reveal a mouth full of fangs. They encircled me much in the way tigers do to wounded prey on the discovery channel.

“Human...” One snarled. Shit. This was not good.

I shifted my grip on the rifle. I knew that Celestia would come unglued if I hurt one of her guards permanently, and even if I only knocked them out, she would still be mad. Deciding to take the lesser of two evils, I flipped the sturdy rifle so the barrel was resting in my right hand, and the butt in my left. I could not shoot then, but damn it I will club my way out of this.

Seeing my change of grip, the lead pony charged me. The whole time, he did not even attempt to draw his sword, and went straight for goring me with his horn. At this point, a large number of them were frothing at the mouth with what I could only guess was anticipation.

Right as he was about to reach me, I side stepped to the right, and slammed the rifle’s butt onto the ponies jaw at the same time. This knocked the pony to his side, but was up much faster than I had thought anything would be after having a rifle slammed into their jaw. His jaw was clearly dislocated and broken, and was hanging open, revealing the multitude of now missing teeth. With a sickening crunch, the jaw reassembled itself, and popped back into place. With a hack, he spit a glob of yellowish slime right at my chest.

Without a second thought, I flipped the rifle back to it’s correct orientation, aimed and fired. The bolt impacted just a few inches away from the pony (though at this point, I was certain that this was no pony), causing it to jump back. It was at this point that I heard it. It was another hiss, but I was much more familiar with this kind.

Whatever the thing spit at me had eaten away the front part of my load bearing vest, and was about half way through my armor plate. I was also starting to feel the intense heat from the rubber coated steel plate, and scrambled to pull the thing off. It was off in seconds, but it was just enough time for the things to jump me.

As the vests were pulled off, the other things had started to move in. They had just cleared my head when I felt a couple hundred pounds of acid-spitting-pony-thing slam into me.

I had never had a blanket party thrown for me, but I imagine that it would feel something like this. I now knew that when hit with them, hooves hurt like a son of a bitch. They seemed to like hitting the ribs more than anything. I felt a number of them crack, and at least two of them break. I have had broken ribs before, but having a four tiny horses beating on them with their hooves was new. What was more important was the one I had hit was looming over me, and some of his spit had landed on my cheek. It felt a bit like having a hot piece of metal being shoved into my face, and having boiling honey drip down onto me at the same time. I am not ashamed to say I screamed my lungs out. It really fucking hurt. The ribs were barley noticeable compared to my face.

It was the screaming that saved me. It had attracted the attention of a nearby pony. I could not see very much, what with acid thing looming over me, but the beating on my ribs quickly ended with much crunching and screaming. The one on top of me barley had time to react when a black blur tackled it. Looking over, I caught a glimpse of the things being pined to the ground, with it’s head in a pegasi’s wings, and being swiftly and viciously twisted. As the life left his eyes, he was consumed in green fire, leaving behind a thing of nightmares.

It was vaguely equine, but that was where the similarities ended. The body was a glossy black chitin, and was covered in pits and holes along it’s body. It’s legs resembled cartoon Swiss cheese with the number of holes in it. It had no tail, and instead of a mane like the other ponies had, there was only a chitinous ridge, like a dinosaurs. The head had the same general shape of a ponies, but the mouth was all wrong. The jaw was set much too far back into the head, ending right where the ears would have been. The jaw lolled open to reveal a mouth with way too many teeth. Inside were three rows of shark like teeth, all coated in the same yellow slime it had spit at me. The eyes were what freaked me out the most though. A normal pony had eyes that were large, impossibly so. But this thing had eyes that were somehow even larger. Taking up most of the things head were a set of two massive, blue, compound eyes. Thousands of hexagons stared lifelessly back at me. There was a horn, but it was slightly curved, and looked to be made of the same chitinous material. The whole thing was larger at least half again as large as a pony, and looked to be pure muscle.

The pony who had killed the creature was just as strange. For one, the only things I could tell about her was that she was female, and a pegasus. The rest of her was covered in a form fitting black suit. Even her face was covered. The wings were exposed, but were either naturally black, or were painted that way.

I could not sit up. My ribs were too badly abused, and my right leg and right side were covered in acid splatter. My face was in agony, but nowhere near the levels that it was before. I was incapable of doing anything to defend myself.

I didn’t know whether to be grateful or terrified when my vision started to go dark around the edges. The last thing I saw before the darkness claimed me was the mare pressing her wing against a wall, and a shrill grinding noise filled the air.

When I came to, the world had gone from the comforting darkness of slumber, to the oppressive white of a hospital. I was laying on a soft mattress (this was one of the few times I was okay with a bed instead of a hammock), and was draped in a thick, vomit green blanket. There was a faint beeping noise that I recognized as a heart monitor. And more than anything, I was in a ton of pain.

There was a knock on the door. “Mr. Campbell? The monitor shows that you are awake. Can I come in to give you your potions?” A soft voice called from behind the door.

“Come in...” I wheezed. Even simple things like talking were almost impossible with busted ribs.

She had heard me however, and trotted into the room with a small trey in her teeth. She was a snow white unicorn mare with light blue hair, and had a stethoscope mark on her flank. Resting upon the trey were three tiny vials, none holding more than a teaspoon of liquid.

“How are you feeling Mr. Campbell?” She asked me cheerfully.

I leveled a flat gaze on her and replied, “I feel like I was nearly beaten to death by acid spitting bugs.”

Her smile faltered a moment. “Right... Anyway, we have some potions for your ribs. We need to ask you what type you want, as they have multiple different effects.” She held up the first vial. It was filled with a thin, clear liquid. “This one will dull the pain completely, but they will heal at your natural healing rate.” She moved on to a vivid green one. “This one will dull a bit of the pain, but the ribs will heal a bit faster.” She held up the final vial, filled with a viscous blue slime. “This one will not block any pain from your ribs, but they will be healed within a few hours.” She looked at the vial with mild disdain.

Without thinking, I reached out and snagged the blue one from her magical grasp, and put it to my lips. Immediately, the pain in my ribs intensified, and I could barley breath.

Seeing my panicked face, the mare was at my side. “Did it just get worse?”

I nodded.

She relaxed a bit. “Oh good. You are not having an allergic reaction to the potion. It is mending your bones faster, at the expense of more pain. I haven’t seen very many take that one.”

Great. I let my head flop down onto the fluffy pillow they had provided me with.

“Okay, I have some good news and some bad news. Good news is, you will be out of here before tonight. Bad news is, you got burned pretty bad. Changeling blood is highly acidic.” Changelings. So that was what they were. I can see why they are so hated. “Unfortunately, due to the nature of Changeling blood, the scaring will be permanent. We don’t have any potions that work on acid burns. I’m sorry.”

I had scars even before coming here. Some of them I was proud of, like the knife wounds I had gotten in my “Action Packed Trip to Detroit” video. Or the snake bite on my left leg. There were also ones that I was not so proud of. Like the time I tried reenacting S.T.A.L.K.E.R. In northern Arizona, and got shot in the leg from scaring a guy hunting. Or the time my grandmother’s cat scratched me, and kept opening up. This was one I was not proud of. I was held down and burned with acid, and I didn’t even fight back! I was scared that Celestia would kick my ass, and let them get close.

“How bad?” I croaked.

She levitated the chart at the end of the bed to her. “You have scaring all along the upper right leg, some on your right side, and along the top of your right arm. There is also a fair amount of scaring on your left cheek.” She reported grimly.

I sighed. Scaring on my face was not something I was looking forward to, but I could live with it. I steeled my resolve. “Show me.”

“Your face still has bandages on them, do you really want us to take them off?”

“Please. Show me.” I gasped out. “I need to see.”

She looked uncomfortable, but complied none the less. Grasping the edge of the gauze with her magic, she pulled it off. I could feel the flesh sticking to the sterile fabric, but it did not hurt that much. She levitated a small mirror to me. Grabbing it, I looked the scarring over.

It was an angry red. And while it was no longer a bleeding wound, It was still open, and uncomfortably warm. There were four long troughs gouged into my flesh where the acid had flowed, one of which ran from my nose to my earlobe, leaving it partially melted. Surrounding the troughs were a smattering of small speckles of exposed flesh. Most were contained on my left cheek, but some were on my nose, and one was resting on the edge of my left temple. The potion was clearly working, now that I could see it. The angry red in the speckles were slowly disappearing, and were being replaced with ugly white scar tissue, though they did not get any better than that. The troughs were also loosing their redness, but at a slower rate.

There was another knock at the door, but I was too preoccupied with the mirror to answer. The nurse opened the door. I heard a “Ma’am” from her, but paid no attention. I stared for a bit longer before I acknowledged the presence next to me. I looked to my right, and was greeted with a familiar sight.

“How are you feeling?” Lieutenant Gust asked me, looking genuinely concerned. “I heard what happened from Bolverk, and came as soon as I could.”

“I’m fine. Just a bit of scarring.” I rasped. My ribs were still on fire.

She looked at my cheek. “Mender?”

I gave her a blank stare.

“Mender, you know, the blue potion? Not many take that one, it amplifies the pain one goes through by ten. Even the emotional pain,” She turned and smiled at me. “Trust me. I know.”

We sat in silence for a while, simply enjoying each others presence. It was almost an hour before I broke the silence.

“I’m sorry, Gust. I messed up yesterday.” Enough time had passed that I no longer had to pause between every other word for air.

Now frowning slightly, she tilted her head. “What do you mean?”

“I accidentally caused you and your friends to go ape because I played with ancient technology.”

She looked surprised for a second, then laughed. “Relax dude, it just surprised us is all. You couldn’t have known that it would do that to us. If it makes you feel any better, we all felt bad after pulling swords on you. Apology accepted, from all of us.”

I sagged into the bed with relief. As much of a badass as I tried to portray myself as, I was still a softie around women. Even pony women.

We continued to sit in silence for a while. It was long enough that the pain in my sides was starting to subside. Before long, I broke the silence again.

“You mentioned someone earlier. The pony who saved me. Bullhead of something.”

She sat back with a smile. “Bolverk. That’s who saved you.”

“Who is she?”

Gust’s eyes glazed over for a moment, deep in memory. “She is the best. She is Equestia’s first line of defense. Bolverk is one of the few who survived Garg’s landing, though thrived might have been a better term for it. She was the one who got the dirty work done. Did the nasty stuff that nopony wanted to do. You need a Changeling patrol taken down? Call Bolverk. Need food? Bolverk would hunt down a Changeling or two for us. Find the rare prisoner camp? She would take all the guards out without alerting anyone. She did the most Changeling killing of any of us, and is still killing them to this day. Over eleven thousand confirmed kills. Bolverk is a legend with the guard, and a campfire horror to everypony else.” She shuddered. “Especially the Griffon Imperium.”

“Griffon Imperium?”

She look surprised for a moment, but shrugged it off. “Right, you aren’t from around here. This is fairly common knowledge, most learn it in history class at school.” Clearing her throat, she began explaining. “Before I continue on, I need to explain a bit about griffons in general. You see, the griffons are fully capable of magic. They use their eyes as foci, making it seem like they could move things with their mind. Because of this, they do not refer to it as magic. Instead, it is referred to as “psychic energy” by the griffons. Long ago, using magic of any form, even the “psychic energy”, was seen as “unnatural”, and they used to go out of their way to kill anything that used magic. This changed nearly fifty thousand years ago. Back then, the ponies were still roaming tribes, and the changelings had not even emerged yet. But the griffons were different. They were always more socially advanced than us. They had formed villages and governments long before we even discovered fire. Part of the social structure were the outcast “Psykers”. They were the ones who actively practiced magic, and were too powerful to be taken down by the griffon armies. They were instead cast out, and a few of them survived long enough to form their own village. The village was prosperous for almost two thousand years. One day, the village elders had a vision. That there would be a great war that needed a hero. The elders summoned the whole village to the town square, and explained the vision. They debated for days on what to do. Before long, they came to an agreement. They sacrificed themselves and their souls. It was a year later that a griffon was born, a griffon with a thousand souls. He would not know it, but he would be the most important griffon in history.

“It was not long before he realized that he would not age past his late teenage years. Most griffons then lived to sixty, and he was double that when he learned of his power. Within a century, the newly dubbed Emperor united the griffon tribes and villages into one empire, or in Griffic, an Imperium. His powers only grew as he continued expanding the Imperium, including a few human cities before the fall of man. Near his ten thousandth birthday, he created his twenty sons. Using human technology, he created twenty sons to embody certain aspects.

“His sons, or the “Primarchs”, formed and headed the original twenty legions of the griffon military. They would go on to conquer most of the known world, and even to this day, they still hold sway over half of the planet. The only reason they stay away from Equestria is because The Princess and The Chief nearly destroyed the entire Imperium eight hundred years ago.

“When the changelings first appeared, the griffons allied with us for the first time in history, and were always the first into combat. The solders almost always stood double our height unarmored, and in their armor they are nearly unstoppable. They are practically immortal due to augmentations to their bodies. We won almost every battle against the changelings with the Imperium as allies.

“Unfortunately, around ten thousand years ago, one of the Chaos gods tricked one of the Emperor’s sons, Magnus, into unknowingly betraying him. Another of his sons, Horus, took this knowledge and knowingly betrayed his father and convinced ten of his other brothers to lead massive armies to the city of Terra in order to kill the Emperor. In the end, only two of his nine loyal sons are known to still be alive, Leman Russ is hunting demons and his traitor brothers in Tatarus, and Roboute Guiliman who is in suspended animation from when his brother tried to kill him. Four of the traitor sons are known to still be alive, and each one is serving one of the gods of chaos.

“The Emperor was nearly killed, and was put on a form of life support devised by his human allies. He has been enturned on this life support “throne” for ten thousand years. He has become a figure head, and cannot actually lead his Imperium. His life story has now become the state religion for the Imperium, and it is from their holy book that we get most of this information.

“There have been rumors that he is starting to lead his people from the background, using his personal assistant as a proxy.”

Gust ended her story with a small frown. I was amazed at the griffon’s history. I could easily see someone back home making so much money off of something like that.

Gust reached into her armor and withdrew a small silver flask. She uncapped it and took a swig. She offered me the flask. “Want some? It doesn’t mess with Mender.”

Shrugging to the best of my ability, I grabbed the flask and took a sip. The liquor tasted like the stuff you would pull from a lawn mower that had not been emptied in a week. And while the burn was there, it was much weaker than whiskey back home. I only took a small sip of the pseudo whiskey. “Thanks.” I rasped, handing her the flask.

There was a soft whistling from her breast plate. She returned the flask to it’s place, and punched a raised portion of her armor, which stopped the whistling with a mechanical sounding clunk. Standing up, she looked to me. “Sorry, Gareth. I’ve got one last shift before I call it a day. I’ll try and visit you when I’m done. Until then, try to get some sleep.”

I waved to her as she left. Exhaustion quickly claimed me, and I was dancing with Morpheus once again.

Chapter Thirteen: The Vault

I came to a few hours later. Gust never did come and visit me. I assumed that she just had some guard stuff to do. The pain in my ribs had mostly subsided by this point, though my burns were still giving me issues. Propping myself up on my left elbow, I took my first deep breath of air in almost a day. Swinging my legs off the edge of the bed, I decided to wait for the nurse to clear me any further.

I didn’t have to wait long as a few moments later the nurse trotted in. In her magic was another tray, this one had a few dozen vials, and a jar of... Something.

“Alright, Mr. Campbell. You are all clear. Take one of these potions with breakfast every day for the next month, and put this salve on your burns after showers and before bed.” She moved the vials and jar into a small paper bag and levitated them to me. “Don’t worry about the bill. The Princess is handling it.”

I set the bag next to me on the bed. “Thanks. Do you know where my clothes went?”

The mare’s face fell. “The clothing you were wearing was ruined when B-Bolverk rammed one of the changelings into another one’s horn, the splash was what ruined your clothes.” Gust was right, the common pony was terrified by Bolverk. “The changeling then landed and died on top of your bag.”

“Did anything survive?” I asked mildly panicked.

The mare smiled this time. That was a good sign. “Yes, in fact we were able to save a few things.” She leaned out and rattled off something in German to someone further back in the hall.

Another pony trotted in. This time it was an earth pony mare with a yellow coat and neon blue hair. I did not have a chance to see what her mark was, she was only half in the room.

She was carrying a small bag with the plasma rifle strapped to the outside. At least I was not unarmed. The nurse took it and levitated it onto the bed, being careful not to crush the potions and salve. The new pony had left at this point.

She smiled at me as I opened the bag. It was mostly clothing, though I had never seen it before. I turned to look at the nurse in confusion.

Sensing my question before I asked, the nurse answered. “None of your clothing survived the acid, so Princess Celestia commissioned these from a small town seamstress. Rather famous one at that. She did it completely free of cost after hearing why you needed them.”

That was very generous of her. When I got out, I needed to send her a thank you card or something. Inside the bag were three sets of clothing. The first looked almost like a robe, only with pants. It consisted of multiple layers. There was an under suit, which was just a brown long sleeve shirt and brown pants. There was the outer robe. That was a single piece of red fabric that I would just wrap around myself and fasten with a large belt. Along with this was a pair of pants, and a long sleeved shirt made out of some kind of stretchy material. The belt was made with some kind of fake leather, and had pouches hanging off the sides. The robe had two slits running up the front and the back of where my legs were, possibly to allow me to move more freely. The others were much the same, though this time they were dark blue and black. All of them had three small blue diamonds stitched into the collar.

Setting the very well made clothing aside, I inspected the rest of the bag. Inside was my tactical holster with the 1911 still inside. I pulled that out and inspected it. There was a single small acid splatter on the left grip, but that was it. I sighed in relief that the pistol was mostly unharmed. There was one full magazine in the gun and one in the chamber. In pouches built into the holster were two more full magazines. I was not unarmed, but I had to watch my ammo like a hawk, as I only had 22 .45 bullets left. The plasma rifle was scuffed, but unharmed. There were 24 of the lower power rounds in the magazine, and I don’t think there are many ancient human plasma rounds just laying around. Both of my knives were alright, as was the multitool and the small case I had found laying next to it. Opening the case, I was greeted with five rows of twenty disks. Attached to the lid were instructions on how to replace the batteries in the multitool. So that’s what they were! Nodding happily, I tucked them away. My tinted goggles and sunglasses were undamaged. I had the small first aid kit I kept in my cargo pocket. Oddly enough, the human tablet I got in Mzark was still intact. Checking to see if it was still working, I pressed the center of the tablet. It lit up just fine, though there was a button I had not seen before on the edge of it. Pressing it, I was mildly supprised to feel the solid plastic turn semi-maliable, and for it to retract into the metal strips on the top and bottom of the thing. Holding the now two inch by five inch strip of metal. Pushing the button again extended the tablet back out to its previous size. Retracting it again, I set it aside. The last thing in the bag was the small case of silver bars.

I sighed. I had almost nothing left. It was earily similar to the situation I was in after High school. Shaking my head to clear the bad memories, I slowly stood up and started to get dressed. The nurse had left a while ago when I started going through my things. It took me a few minutes to figure out how to put the robes on, but I managed. The robes were comfortable and seamed to fit perfectly (though I think it was the stretchy material the whole thing was made of). I replaced the other sets of robes into the bag along with the guns, ammo, and my kukri. The multitool was placed in one of the pouches on my left hip along with it’s batteries, and the first aid and silver went into another.

Walking hurt. The acid burns were still healing, and some were still covered in bandages. I gingerly opened the door and walked out. There was a pronounced limp in my gait, but I didn’t let it slow me down. The nurse was next to me going down the hall, making sure I did not fall over.

It took a while, but I made it out of the hospital. Getting directions from the nearest guard, I limped over to the throne room.

The walk to the throne room took a lot longer than the last time. There were more ponies around, and a large number stopped me to ask what happened to me, or thank me for stopping the changelings (I did not feel like correcting them on that), or asking where I got my clothing. It was all a big hassle for me, but I did eventfully make it to the throne room.

It was about dinner time, and there was nobody in the throne room, save for Celestia.

Noticing me enter, she called me over.

“Gareth! Come, I need to talk to you.”

I walked over to her and set my bag next to me. Celestia levitated a smaller chair over for me to sit on.

She looked grim, but not angry. “Guards, leave us.” She called out.

“But.. Princess.” Armor asked from her left.

“Now.” She commanded.

The guards saluted and shuffled off. The moment the door shut after the last one left, Celestia sagged in relief.

“Despite what the papers will say, we are not winning the war against the Changelings, we are loosing ground every day. It seams that they have finally breached the capital. I don’t know who is safe to talk to or not. Finding a safe space to talk is a nightmare. Canterlot is no longer safe.” There was a tone of resignation in her voice, like she had known this, but refused to acknowledge it.

“So what do we do?”

Celestia sat up, mildly shocked. “What do you mean ‘we’?”

I smiled reassuringly at her. I knew just how fucked the situation was. The enemies were practically knocking at the gates, and there was almost nothing that could be done. I knew that she was just as, if not more aware of how bad it had gotten, but she needed to be reassured that there was hope. Even by a random guy like me, any little bit can help. “Luna made me a citizen, remember? I will do anything I can to help you, even if it isn’t much. Regardless of how I came to Equestria, I am still one of her citizens, and I have a duty to protect her. Like it or not, Equestria is my home, and I will be damned if anything or anyone tries to mess with my home.” I may have been hamming it up, but the message was clear.

While in the hospital, I had come to the realization that I was not going home any time soon. If two beings with goddess level power and status could not find a way to send me home in a week, then I was well and truly fucked. It was entirely likely that I would never see anybody from home again. And to my mild displeasure, I was alright with this. The ponies had treated me with more kindness than any other human would have (well, after Luna told them that I was an Elf, but I digress) or ever had. Nobody seemed to mind the dirty bald ape with a hundred pounds of junk on his back wandering the halls, other than the occasional jerk. I decided to take the advice of my survival mentor, Boris, “Stop whining and suck it up, cyka blyat! Life sucks, but you have to make the best of it, no matter what! Look at me! I have nothing, but do you see me complaining? Learn to make life worth living, and learn to relax a bit.”

Her face went blank for a moment, before her horn lit up and engulfed me in orange light. I only recently found out that magic does not feel good. It was not that it hurt or anything like that, it just felt uncomfortable. Thankfully, it only lasted a second, but it was enough for me to jump out of my seat. With the magic gone, she relaxed a bit more. “Sorry about that. I had to check and see if you are actually you.” She stood and trotted over to the far wall. “Come with me.”

Following her, I watched as she fired off a spell that impacted the wall. Almost instantly, a small section of the wall shimmered and rippled like water. Celestia walked through the wall and beckoned me to follow.

Walking through the door/wall was one of the weirdest sensations I have ever experienced in my life. I could still feel the stones they were made of, but they were somehow still solid. Even though I could tell they were still solid, the stones flowed through me. I could feel the wall pass me through on the inside, in every cell. They still held the same temperature from when they were still solid. So I felt at least three feet of frigid stone pass through every part of my body.

Stepping out on the other side, I felt Celestia grab my arm with her wing, and was greeted with something I had not seen in the castle before. Darkness.

Every other part of the castle I had been in before was brightly lit. Even the air vents for some reason. So why was it that this portion of the castle was pitch black?

I couldn’t see an inch in front of me. If not for Celestia’s wing around me, I would have been stranded. She began to gently lead me somewhere. To my displeasure, the only thing I could do is feel. There was no light, no sound, I could not even smell or taste! We walked for what felt like hours, but we eventually reached... Somewhere. It was lit, and when we crossed the threshold, the rest of my deprived senses rushed back all at once.

The room was a stark opposite to whatever the last area was. It was as if the entire room was made out of nothing but pure light. Even with the sunglasses on, the light was still blinding.

There was the soft hiss of pressurized air, and the doorway to the black was sealed with more light. The room was small, just long enough to accommodate for Celestia, and only just wide enough for the both of us standing next to each other. The whole room gave a mighty lurch, and began moving.

“Ok, what is this place, Celestia?”

She turned and gave me a grim look, “This is The Vault. A pocket dimension Luna and I created to house some of the most dangerous items and creatures in the world. The area we just passed is where we keep all of the creatures, and this box wards them off.” She touched her hoof to the side of the wall. With a small click, a panel flipped open, which she began to read. “We still have a while to go before we reach The Relic Vault.” With a nudge, the panel retracted back into it’s place in the wall.

“I’m sorry, Celestia. This is just going too fast for me. Can you explain it to me like you would to a moron?” Honestly, the idea of pocket dimensions weirded me out more than magical talking ponies, or the idea that all humans are evil, except for me. There was just something inherently wrong with keeping an armory, a zoo, and a treasure vault inside of a castle wall.

I still wanted one though.

With a sigh, she launched into the lesson. “This is a pocket dimension, a bubble in the fabric of the universe, condensed down to a near infinitely small real time space. These bubbles, because they are not technicly part of the natural order, do not need to follow the laws of physics, or even the most basic of logical design. There are only two known ways of creating a pocket dimension, either by forcing massive amounts of magic into the universal fabric, or having a gravity well so massive, that not even light can escape from. The gravity wells from natural pocket dimensions are powerful enough to rip entire stars apart.” Okay, so I won’t be getting my own pocket dimension any time soon.

“Where we just passed is known as The Creature Vault. Other than that thin strip of artificial gravity and floor we passed, there is no gravity or flat surfaces anywhere other than The Relic Vault. There are thousands of daemons and monstrosities floating in the void endlessly. This box is made of magical light, which repels the daemons, and blinds the other creatures in the void. The only things we might have to deal with are the God of Chaos’s four errant children, but I don’t think they are awake this time of the milenia.

“The second half of The Vault is The Relic Vault. It is where items of extreme value, or items that pose a danger to the entire world are stored. Over the last millenia, I have come across some relics in my travels that were more valuable than the entire income of Equestria, if not outright priceless. Luna has claimed enough dangerous spoils of war, that hers takes up most of the space in the vault.

“The reason we are here is so we can move the items from The Relic Vault. Any pony or magical creature with sufficient magical power is capable of opening the gateway to The Vault. Pocket dimensions are nearly impossible to ward off entry, so all defenses must be made from the inside. I fear that a powerful changeling, or even their queen, will find where it is, and then it is just a matter of finding out where the light box is. The only real security measure we have on the outside is secrecy. There are three living creatures that know about the pocket dimensions existence. Luna, you, and myself.”

“So why trust me with this information? You barley know me.” Celestia was worried about the Changelings getting into The Vault, And here she was, giving out arguably the most important secret of her kingdom to a total stranger. I don’t understand her motives or reasons even on good days, but this just seamed stupid.

“There are three parts to this. One; the Changelings cannot take a human form. Changelings are primarily carnivorous in nature, but are known to feed off of the magical energy and emotions of others. In order to change to another creature, they need to have fed on both the magical signature to take the form, and the emotions, so they can emulate how they act. Because you have no magical signature, that characteristic glow around the focus, they cannot even take the form of your or any other human. Two; Changelings have an almost compulsive hatred for all humans. We have no idea why this is, but they will never bother to interrogation you,” That was pretty good for me. No integration or torture, sweet! “Only go in for the kill.” Fuck. “And three; by entering the gate, there was a magical compulsion placed on both of us. While it is on us, neither of us can speak of this place. It was something that Luna came up with to stop drunken babbling after a successful battle. Along with that, before entering The Relic Vault, both you and I will be swearing a magical oath to never reveal the location, contents, or the method of entry to The Vault. It is the requirement to open the actual vault door, there is not even a key, just the oath.

“In conclusion, you are the only one, other than my sister, that I can trust with this information.”

I was stunned. She had this much faith in me, even though the first three days here, she hated me. I had no idea just what I had done to earn that level of trust from her, but I was determined to do her proud.

“Also, you have fingers. There are some things in there that are magically resistant, and I can’t pick up.” And the truth is revealed.

We only had to wait a few minutes more before the box lurched to a stop. The pneumatic hiss returned and the door opened.

We were standing on top of a giant metal platform, floating in the nothingness. I could barley see it, but off in the distance, there was a single pedestal in the center of the metal slab. The only sound that was heard was the soft taping of my boots against metal, and the sharp clang of Celestia’s hooves.

The pedestal was about a quarter mile away from where the box dropped us. While walking, Celestia reminded me of the oath. “Remember, Gareth. The oath has three parts to it. To never tell of the location, method of entry, or contents of The Vault. To violate this oath is to forfeit your life. And remember, this oath is not the word of the law, it is the sprint of the law. If you write it down, it will still break the oath.” So don’t ever talk about The Vault, ever. Don’t even think about it.

“So why can you tell me about The Vault in the first place?”

She smirked. “Someone has to be able to. Luna and I created this pocket dimension. If we so chose, either of us could wipe it from existence with a thought. We are keyed directly into The Relic Vault because we are the creators of this world.”

The pedestal was about three feet tall, and about three inches around. The top ended with a glowing red crystal ball. Inscribed into the ball were the words “I swear on pain of death to never reveal, never tell, and never lead to The Vault.” It must be the oath.

Celestia gestured with her wing to the ball. Figuring that I was supposed to put my hand on it, I did just that and spoke the oath in English.

There was a flash of light, and a light pain in one of my knuckles. Looking to my hand, there was now a near invisible mark on the base knuckle of my right index finger. Looking close, I now had a tiny sun and moon yin yang thingy on my hand that took up the space of a small pill.

“Now place the mark on the ground. That will gain you entry.” Celestia explained.

Crouching down and pressing the mark to the cold metal, I was disappointed when nothing happened for a moment. Then with a great rush of steam, the floor around the pedestal lowered into The Relic Vault.

The lift just kept on going. We had been on it for an hour, and it just kept on going. The ceiling would seal up like liquid metal flowing into place as we went, so nothing could follow us in, I assumed. The room was large enough to have plenty of air for one pony princess and a displaced human. The lift would lower us for a total of an hour and a half before stopping. Like the lift in Mzark, the door to the actual vault was an iris. The difference was the size of the shutters. Each one was ten feet thick! I could only guess that the door was opened with magic, because they snapped open, instead of slowly grinding open.

Behind the door was a small hallway. With two doors on either side, and one at the end.

Each one was embossed with a different plaque. The closest on the right had a book, the far right had a skull, the center had a coin, the far left had three question marks, and the closest on the left had a pair of smoking eyes.

Celestia lead me to the center door first. “This room houses all of the valuable and priceless artifacts from around Equestria and out territories.” The room was loaded with vases, gems, coins, tapestries, and various loot. Most of which flew into one of the many small saddle bags (each one had two pouches connected with a strip of fabric) hanging on the far wall, which could somehow fit in one of the pouches. The exceptions being one of the saddle bags and a case hanging on the wall containing two diamond shaped coins. Looking to Celestia for answers, she replied, “Mine and my sister’s ‘Two Sisters Bits’. Those two coins are each worth one and a half billion bits.” Whistling, I pulled the case off the wall and handed it over to her. She handed me the other saddle bag and told me to wait for her.

She walked into the room with a skull. There was a great racket. She emerged from the room ten minutes later, both saddle bags full to bursting, and one of the other bags hanging around her neck.

“Alright, It’s okay for you to enter now. I have removed all of the magical amulets and cursed weapons. I just need you to grab a few things. Just set them in the middle of the room.”

The inside of the room was smaller than I had expected. Instead of the sprawling expanse that I had come to expect from the Equestrian and Human architecture styles I had seen so far, the room was only the size of a normal two car garage. Lining the walls were weapon racks. Next to each one was a small indent in the wall, roughly the size of a hoof. In the center of the rear wall was a one lane firing range, and there were a multitude of straw dummies in the middle of the room. Topping these racks was a label, some had numbers next to them, though most were devoid of text. I had Celestia translate what the ones with labels meant.

I walked up to the first one, which had been identified as “Griffon”. Resting on the rack was two of the biggest handguns I had ever seen. They were two feet long, had a front loading magazine, and were covered in skulls. The only distinguishing features on either was that the main body of one was cobalt, and the other was orange. The grips looked like they were designed by a human with a terminal case of sausage fingers. Below them was one of the saddle-bags-of-holding. Inside, I was astounded to see that the bullets for the thing had filled the entire bag. Pulling the orange one off the wall, I was surprised by it’s weight. It was at least fifty pounds. I set it down and grabbed the cobalt one. As I did so, the label went dark. The text had simply disappeared.

I looked to Celestia with hopeful eyes. Celestia’s eyes rolled. “No. They will rip your arm off. Trust me, I’ve seen it happen.” There was no joking in her tone, so I quickly set them in the center of the room.

Next was one labeled “Human”. Among the rack was a dozen multitools, and batteries for each one. Moving those to the center, I was confused as to why the text had not vanished yet. Celestia, however, solved that.

She trotted to the indent in the wall, and inserted her right hoof. With a mechanical sounding clunk, the rack began moving. The elegant pegboard was pulled back and slid to the side. Behind it was two boards. One rotated out and clicked into place where the previous one had been only a second ago.

Attached to this one was three of the plasma rifles that I had seen from before, what I could only assume at the time was the pistol version of the rifle, and a large selection of ammunition for the rifle. Pulling those off, I set them in the ever growing pile of weaponry.

The last panel only had a single weapon on the rack. It looked almost like someone had taken three quarters of a solid steel sphere, welded a handle on one of the cuts, painted a blue spot on the top, and attached a short, ported barrel to the end. When I pulled it from the rack, it emitted a rather soothing hum, and warmed slightly in my hand.

“That’s a plasma cannon. I would prefer that you don’t mess with that one.” Celestia was a bit jumpy at the image of me holding the weapon with a dangerous smile.

Sighing, I set the cannon in the pile. I never did see it or another like it again.

The next few sets of racks were pretty standard stuff. Swords, bows, crossbows, clubs, axes, shields, etcetera ad nausium. We cleared the room out pretty quickly.

Next was the room with a book. Celestia told me that the books were immune to magic, so I was a bit weary of this one from the last room, but it was not that bad.

Inside was a tiny library. More of a closet than anything. The back wall was only two feet from the door. There were only three books on the shelf.

The first was also the largest. It was roughly seven inches thick, and had a hard jet black exterior. Pulling it out, I was greeted with the smiling faces of nine skulls. In the center of the circle of skulls was a golden, two headed eagle. Finding it chained shut, I shrugged and placed it in one of the pouches in the bag.

Looking curiously to Celestia, she answered with, “That was a recent acquisition from the Griffin Imperium. Part of their surrender in their latest war with us was the submission of their original holy book. Something about worshiping the Griffin emperor. Funny enough, he is the one who gave it to me. Said religion was, and I quote, “superstitions brainwashing crap that makes you into an asshole.” Funny guy, just wish his empire could take a joke.”

The next one didn’t really count as a book, so much so as a stack of cards bound together. The card was mostly black with red pentagram surrounded by a bunch of concentric circles and runes. Turning it over, there were some symbols on the back, in what I could only guess was Japanese.

This time, she grabbed the stack from my hand with her wing, almost in a bit of a panic, and put it in her own bag. “I forgot those were in there. The Grimmories owe me a few favors. Best not to talk about them so we don’t attract their attention.” Alright, whatever.

The next one was bound in metal, and had a big red button on one side, and the words “Don’t Panic” printed in bright, glowing letters on the back. Not even bothering to ask about it, I placed it in one in her bags, We moved on.

The last room was the smoking eyes room. The place looked like a futuristic quarantine room. I was told that everything that held dark magic that could not be destroyed was stored here. Everything was sterile white, and anything not white was clear plastic like stuff. Lining the room was a series of vacuum sealed boxes, clear bulbs, and a single pillar of clear material, all of which contained something. The cases had simple things like a dagger, or a wand, or a scrap of paper. The bulbs had some kind of fluid in them, all of them made my eyes feel dirty just looking at them. I was instructed to carefully place them in the bag.

The last one took the longest. Celestia had to remove a bunch of wards and curses surrounding the pillar. Once the astounding number of spells were lifted, I could get close to the clear pillar. Inside of it was a single book. It was wrapped in black leather, the pages were edged in gold, and seemed to radiate pure evil. The book had no title.

Using my brain for the first time since entering the vault, my eyes widened in realization. I looked to Celestia with panic. “Is this...”

“Yes, Gareth. This is the Krivbeknih.”

Chapter Fourteen: Celestia's Huge Mistake (End of Arc 2)

I stared at Celestia in shock. The Krivbeknih, the book that turned every human on the planet into psychopathic murder machines, was not five feet from me. It was smaller than I had expected it to be, the thing could fit in the palm of my hand. And that’s saying something, I ware medium gloves. It was also much thinner as well. Only fifty or so pages from what I could guess. The most dangerous object on the planet was just sitting there.

I started backing up. “Celestia, why the fuck is that book here?! Shouldn’t it be, you know, in a volcano, or on the moon, or something?!” Just being in the room with it was making my skin feel tainted.

“Relax, Gareth. The book cannot harm you. It is encased in quartz, and magic is incapable of interacting with certain types of crystal, quartz being the most magically inert. And we have tried to destroy the book before, but it will simply float on the magma, and every time we tried to move it to the moon or the sun, it would appear back here an hour or two later, same with dropping it in the ocean.” She tried to reassure me. It did not work.

“You said that you can collapse the pocket dimension with a thought, right? Won’t that destroy the book?”

She sighed. “No, it won’t. We tried doing that before, but it would appear in the throne room a week later. Almost like it was mocking us. Believe me, if you can think of it, we have tried it. The hottest flames won’t burn it, the biggest explosion we can create didn’t even scuff the leather, it is immune to Changeling blood, enchanted daggers bounce off, and the biggest mana storm created by the Griffon Emperor did not even interact with it. Trust me, the book is indestructible.”

“Then why are we bothering to move it? If this place is so secure, why are we even moving it?”

“Because Canterlot has been compromised. The Changelings could already know about this place, and it might only be a matter of days before they breach the vault. After that, who knows how much havoc they could wreak upon the world.” She almost seemed to be reluctant on admitting it. As she was speaking to me, her magic reached out and grasped the crystal. With a look of supreme effort, Celestia managed to slowly move the crystal from it’s resting place into the last empty satchel. The fur around her forehead was slightly matted with sweat.

Celestia did have a point. If the changelings had managed to infiltrate the capital city, and were in the castle, then the vault was nowhere near as secure as it could be. The removal of the dangerous affects made sense.

We walked out of the room, Celestia looking decidedly more ragged. All we had left was the final room, with the question marks embossed on the plate.

Which was empty.

The entire room looked to be the size of a large bedroom, and was furnished with a low table and a cushion on either side. On either side of the table was an extra large marker, and a whiteboard. Celestia walked to the nearest cushion and dropped down with a sigh. The crystal must have really taken a tole on her.

“Come, sit. We have many things to discuss.” Celestia motioned to the cushion on the other side of the table.

I schluffed off the bags and moved over to the other cushion. I had learned not too long ago that the ponies did not have any sort of chairs. Their equine anatomy simply did not allow for the minor limb contortion necessary for that type of furniture. The chair was not even in the foreign nations. Griffons and minotaurs had the same type of cushion. The only real chairs I had seen since arriving in this world were in Mzark. A large amount of furniture that I was accustomed to was exclusively of human design, and therefore, completely foreign to most of the world. There were no chairs, no normal sized beds (ponies and griffons just curled up in a half length twin, and minotaurs were nomadic, and used sleeping bags), and there were far fewer sinks than I was comfortable with.

Setting aside my momentary confusion, I sat on the overstuffed blue pillow. I wound up having my crossed legs hidden underneath the table, and trying to keep my back straight.

Celestia reached over to a depressed portion of the table and pressed on it. With a click, an entire control panel swung out from the depression. She then hit something on the panel with her horn, and a small hole in the wall opened.

“Would you mind putting the bags into the hole?” She asked me.

I felt a little nervous handling the bag with an ancient and evil tome, but no ill effects came from it. Once they were in the hole, it sealed up, and Celestia nudged another button with her horn.

A wave passed over the room. It was almost palpable to me, but it seemed to hit Celestia full force.

I could feel the magic draining from my body. It left me feeling like I had run a marathon, then someone had gotten me to drink an Aunt Roberta. The swimming feeling and the exhaustion faded quickly enough. It left me feeling like something was missing, but otherwise not bad.

Celestia on the other hand was very visibly effected by the wave. Her mane and tail had gone from their normal flowing tri-chromatic rainbow, to a soft pink, and were now laying limp against her body. Her coat faded from its normal snow white color, to a very light ivory. And she seemed to slump even more if it was possible.

Sitting down again, I asked “Okay. What was that?”

“That was an anti-magic pulse. It knocks out magic for a short period of time. It is why I asked you to move the bags to the cubby, the wave would have made everything burst out and flood the room. Luna and I use this room when we need to discus matters of the highest secrecy.” Her voice was not as melodious as it had been before. It was rather mundane in comparison.

“So is that why you changed?” I was seriously impressed with the level of secrecy and paranoia that Luna and Celestia could exhibit at times.

Celestia smiled. “Yes, this is what my natural form looks like. The room negated the cosmetic magic.”

I nodded. “So what was so important that we had to come all the way down here to discus it?”

She sighed. “There are a few things, ask questions as you feel necessary.” I nodded and grabbed the marker and whiteboard to write down the questions. “There are three matters of business. First; is that my niece got engaged just over a month ago, and I am unsure of weather or not the castle will be secure enough for the wedding. I know that you do not have a job yet, and would like to hire you as a security consultant. I would not have you setting things up, instead I want you to poke holes in the plan, and find them so that we can patch them and add to the security. I will pay you by the problem you find. Is that agreeable?” I nodded again. Looks like the prepper part of my survivalist mindset would pay off.

“Second; there is an artifact that we need to get a hold of. There is good news and bad news on this. Good news is that it is in Mzark, which is near Canterlot. Bad news is that only a human can get to it. We need you to retrieve it from Mzark. A team will be assigned to you, but you will have full control of the expedition. We will also pay you for your efforts on this.”

“Okay, question time. What is it you need me to get from Mzark?” I asked.

“There was a project the humans were working on before Mzark was destroyed. It was a weapon to change the tide of the war. Only one was ever deployed in the field, but it was powerful enough to decimate an entire company of our soldiers, and released a malignant cloud of magic that created the Everfree forest. Luna traced it back to Mzark, but was unable to capture it or any information on it.”

“What I want you to do is to lead an exploration team into Mzark, and retrieve this weapon and any documents regarding it. All we need you to do is lead the team to it.”

I thought about it for a moment. “What about the other things I find?”

“What other things? I just need you to get the weapon and everything related to it.”

I smiled. “Mzark has been abandoned for what, 1000 years? Nobody will mind if a few things go missing from around the town, now will they? And if they do, who cares? They are all evil!”

Celestia sighed, looking tired. “Yes, you can keep the things you find. I will scan them for curses or any dark magic, but other than that, I only care about the weapon, it’s ammunition, and any documentation relating to it.”

I grinned. This would be so much fun. The idea of the contents of an entire city up for grabs made something inside me sing. I was already planning on how to get it all back. Celestia looked like she was waiting on a response from me.

“I’ll do it. All I need is some time to get ready.”

“Excellent! Finally; we come to this.” She reached into a compartment of her necklace-yolk-thingy, and extracted a single piece of paper. She slid the thing across the table to me.

D-5482,

There has been a human spotted in Canterlot. He seams to be completely unaffected by the curse, and has even made friends with not only the royalty, but also the local Garg’s Landing survivors garrisoned in the castle. Our Lady requires his immediate disposal. He poses far too great of a threat to the survival of the Changeling race to be allowed to live. Return to me when the job is done and we can move on to phase two. Feel free to be a bit rough.

-K-1

P.s. It would serve you well to remember that failure is not an option.

I had to go back and read it again. Someone actually has a hit out on me. This is the kind of thing that only happens in TV dramas, Skyrim, or some shitty fan fiction.

“Not only have the changelings infiltrated Canterlot, they have a high ranking officer spear heading the changeling operations here. This is beyond bad. The whole situation is, as Luna would say, a complete ‘Canter Fetlock.”

“So what are we going to do about this then?” My voice cracked and wavered. The past week was starting to catch up with me. The part where I was pulled from my home world, how I had been chased and nearly killed no less than five times was all starting to catch up with me. A person can only take so much stress, myself included.

Celestia, catching on to my distress, gave me a reassuring smile. “We are going to make sure that you are safe. Luna and I have come up with a few ideas on how to keep you from the changelings.” I was a bit touched that the mares who no less than a week ago were trying to kill me, would go out of their way to protect me. I was majorly confused.

“We could have you under guard again?” She offered. I shook my head, not wanting to be locked up again.

“No? We could have you join the guard. The real guard, not the solar guard. Lieutenant Gust speaks highly of you.”

I mulled it over. I had tried joining the military back home, but I got frequent migraines, and still do, and was disqualified from service. “Maybe, are their any other options?”

“Just one. I need to go down to the ruins of the Bridge of Harmony to run some errands right after we are done here. It will take a week to do what I need to do. I could drop you off in Ponyville on the way there. You will be well protected. Along with the Elements of Harmony living there, there are a few of out best soldiers stationed down there as well. It is a small town, and they tend to be a little more accepting of others there than in Canterlot. My student lives there. You already met her. Twilight Sparkle is one of the Elements, and has already been briefed on the situation, and has expressed her interest in making a better impression than the last time.” I remembered her. I had stayed a few hours before running off and trying not to get killed.

“You wanted me to pick the last one from the beginning, didn’t you?”

Celestia at least had the tact to blush.

I learned fairly early on that ponies are capable of blushing, regardless of the amount of fur on their faces. Certain patches of fur on a pony were actually a form of natural fiber optics, which is what allowed the cutie mark to show as prominently as it did. Another patch was on either of their cheeks, which allowed for things like blushing, while still retaining it’s natural coloring.

I sighed. “Alright, lets go with door number three. What about Ponyville makes it safer for me than the castle?”

“Ponyville is home to the Elements of harmony, Equestria’s last line of defense, and therefore must have a garrison of guards there as well. They are more than capable of making sure one more person is safe.

“Not to mention that, while she is not on assignment, Ponyville is where Bolverk spends most of her time.”

“Bolverk lives in Ponyville?” I was worried that there was a super assassin living in the same small town as I would be.

“She does, as does her handler. I will not betray her trust by telling you who she is, but you are probably smart enough to figure it out on your own.”

This was an interesting development. Celestia obviously wanted me in Ponyville for whatever reason she had concocted, but for the life of me, I could not figure it out. I needed more intel.

“Alright. If I am going off to Ponyville, I’m gonna need some information. Where will I be staying, and how am I going to get around? When will you need me for the exportation? And how am I going to pay for stuff?”

“We can arrange for a house to built on the edge of the town. Though for the time being, you will be staying at Twilight’s house. We will need you for the expedition in three days, and I will be paying you for the security job, remember?”

I nodded. “Can I design the house? The Equestrian architectural style just dosen’t work for me.”

“That’s fine. Do you have any other questions?”

Thinking for a moment, I responded. “Yeah. What’s the payment for the expedition job? I already promised you that I would do it, I just want to know what I will be making.”

“Well, Gareth. You have two options. Option number one is six platinum bits. That is roughly half a years pay for an average job. Options two is one of the empty saddle bags in the hole over there, enchanted not to allow cursed and dark magic imbued objects through, and a ring to detect these.”

Either option was enticing, in one hand I had enough funds to start a life here, and not need to worry about money for a while. The safe option. The other option was far riskier, but it hinted at a better payoff in the end. It was the solution to space for the expedition, and room for more valuables. It was a difficult decision, but it was clear in the end.

///

We were riding the lift back up an hour later. We had finished our discussion, just hammering out the minor details. The ride up seemed to take a lot longer than the ride down, but that might have been the excitement talking.

We emerged from the giant block and into the black void. The shuttle was still there, and promptly took us back to the entrance.

Celestia guided me to the entrance and we left. Thankfully, there was nobody in the throne room. It was a fair distance from the castle to the train station, but it was not that bad. What was bad was the reactions that I got from the locals. They were unsure of weather to bow to Celestia, or to stop and stair at me. So they settled on a weird combo of both. Forelegs bend, ass in the air, and eyes on me.

We eventually made it to the train station, where Celestia floated over a ticket.

“I will not be joining you on the train, there is much to be done, but the trip is only two hours, and you have a good seat.” Celestia apologized.

“Thank you, Celestia. Will I see you soon?”

“Of course you will.” She reached into her yolk-thingy and handed me another slip of paper.

Looking down on the thick, semi metallic, golden piece of paper with confusion, while the multitude of onlookers stared at it with open jealousy. I could only guess at what the foreign symbols meant (I know for a fact that German didn’t have a horse shoe in it’s alphabet). So I did.

“I’m going to a chocolate factory?”

She giggled. “No, It is a ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala.”

With a straight face, I responded. “That means literally nothing to me, but from the audience’s reactions, I can gather that this is kind of a big thing.”

“It is an annual gala hosted in the palace. The most influential and important people will be in attendance, and as a foreign ambassador, you are kind of important.”

In other words, an assassin’s target rich, wet dream.

But it was a gift from a friend, and it would be rude to refuse it. “Thank you, Celestia. I’ll be there.”

She smiled, then added “I know you can’t read Germane just yet, so I will let you know that the gala will be in eight months.” That’s pretty early to be handing out tickets, but who was I to judge. The fanciest party I had been to was when Mike’s grandma demanded that I be at their Christmas party, and I wound up drinking his sister under the table. In more ways than one.

So yeah, fancy parties are just not my thing.

“Now, I think you have a train to catch.” She pointed to the waiting train behind me.

I bit a quick fair well to my friend, and boarded the train. It must have been waiting for me, because as soon as the door shut, it took off. Celestia had flown off immediately after.

I sat down on one of the poofy benches. For the first time in my life, I was excited to work. Not because of the job itself, but from the place where the job was, and the loose crap hanging around that nobody cared about anymore.

I grinned evilly, and stroked the buckle on my new pouch. Celestia had unknowingly made a huge mistake. Time to reenact Skyrim.

///

In a far corner of the castle, there was a conversation taking place. It was too hushed for most to hear, and nobody even remembers what was said. But the ramifications are well understood, even to this day.

There was a snarl, and the sound of a hoof connecting with thick chitin, followed by a yelp and a quite dripping hiss.

The one who was struck left the room quickly, and the other was left alone. It was night time, and all that could be seen was a pair of normal, ice blue eyes, juxtaposing the compound green eyes of his former companion.

After a moment, there was an angry growl, and the ice blue eyes soon disappeared as well.

Chapter Fifteen: Friends, Feet, and Slavs

Trains sucked. I learned that from the very beginning of the trip. Never having been on a train, I very quickly realized that I get motion sick on trains. Something about the bumpy track paired with the slight side to side movement made me feel like I ate a tuna salad sandwich off of a gas station bathroom.

The train ride was the longest two and a half hours of my life. Finally it came to a stop at the Ponyville station. I vowed there and then to never ride it again.

Exiting the train, I was greeted with openly hostile and fearful stares. Mares and stallions ushered their young back into their homes, slamming the door shut. Within seconds, I was alone on the station. This could not get any worse.

Almost as if the gods themselves were taking my inner monologue as a personal challenge, the skies opened up with the crack of lightning and began the largest torrent of rain I had ever seen in my life. And add to that the fact that it was still winter, made the rain really fucking cold.

Perfect. At least my bag was waterproof.

I was lamenting my lack of good fortune and an umbrella, through the sheets of freezing rain, I could make out the forms of six ponies walking up to me was a group.

As they drew closer, I could make out the umbrellas they were carrying. There was five umbrellas in total. Two of them were levitating above their respective owners, though one was wavering slightly. Two were held in the wings of pegasi, and the last was, for whatever reason, attached to a helmet. The one without almost seemed to bask in the rain, tilting their head back and letting the rain hit their face

When they were ten feet out or so, I could finally make out finer details. For one, they were all mares. Immediately, I recognized Twilight and Fluttershy. The others were all new to me.

Twilight was the first in line. She stood around three and a half feet at her head. Twilight was carrying a set of saddle bags with her. She seemed to be average in body type for Equestria, certainly not unhealthy. She had stopped chatting with her friends while approaching me.

She was followed by the other unicorn. She was slightly shorter than Twilight, and a bit slimmer as well. She had a very light ivory coat, and her royal purple mane and tail were both curled in perfect spirals, though the sudden onset of humidity was interfering with that. She was the other unicorn in the group. And for what ever reason, she looked like she was having trouble keeping the umbrella up. Next to her was Fluttershy.

Fluttershy was actually the shortest of the group, the one with no umbrella standing a full head higher than her. She had the figure that I could only equate to “in shape”, nothing particularly special there. Her overly long mane and tail were dragging in the mud, but she did not seem to be paying it any mind. She was too busy cowering under it. Her bright blue eyes shifting from me, to the train, and even craning her neck to look at something behind her. I knew a guy in high school that reminded me of the butter yellow pegasus, constantly jumping at every noise and terrified at his own shadow. Heart of gold, spine of a stepfather smaller than you.

Directly next to Fluttershy was the most colorful creature, human or pony, that I had ever seen. This one was slightly taller than Fluttershy, and built like a steel wall; slim, but solid. Her short mane a bright rainbow. I had no idea how she managed to do that, but it was cool. She had her wing wrapped tightly around Fluttershy, and would squeeze just a little bit tighter when she jumped at something, obviously comforting her terrified friend.

Next to the multi chromatic pegasus was the one with the hat. She was an oddity. And pink. Everything about her was so pink it hurt. It was hard to tell much about her, because she was bouncing on all four hooves. At once. I could tell that she was about the same height as Twilight, and her mane and tail were somehow still dry and reminiscent of cotton candy. She also had a perpetual grin plastered on her face.

Lastly was one without an umbrella. She stood a full head taller than Fluttershy, and half a head taller than the next tallest, Twilight. She had a dark orange coat, though it may just have been the rain and mud soaking it. Her blond mane and tail were, funny enough, in ponytails. She was built like a brick shit house. Even from this distance, I could see the muscles rippling just underneath her coat, like coiled snakes. It was a bit odd to see someone built like her practically frolicking in the rain and mud like she was. It was adorable in a terrifying way.

“Looks like someone is enjoying the weather at least.” I called out to the orange one, having decided to initate the conversation.

“Eyup. Good ‘ta meet ‘ya. I’m Applejack!” She called out in heavily accented English, and stuck out her mud encrusted hoof to me. Not wanting to be rude, I gave it a firm pump. After releasing it, she took on a look of complete confusion for a few seconds before shrugging it off and smiling.

“Gareth! It’s good to see you again! Let’s head over to the library and get out of this rain.” Twilight called in her thick German accent (still haven’t gotten used to that).

I followed Twilight and the group back to the tree house. The pink one was chattering away nonstop, somehow not needing to breathe. It would have been mildly entertaining, only if she spoke English. She was just an endless river of German garbage.

We made it to the tree house soon after. The rain had only gotten worse, and I had unwillingly given the mares a taste of human slapstick. I had tripped over one of the stones in the road, and gotten a mouth full of mud. It was surprisingly the white one to try and help me up. Taking her hoof, I pulled myself up, and spat out a massive mouth full of mud. All of the mares were giggling at my expense, which I did not mind all that much. So getting back to a dry floor would be appreciated.

We entered, and much as I remembered it, the entrance was actually the town library. Twilight stopped me and Applejack and floated over towels. I did my best to dry off, but the robes just got in the way. I pealed as much as I felt comfortable off, ignoring the sudden hush and whispers at the acid burns all along my right side, and marched over to where I remembered the bathroom being.

Pony bathrooms were an interesting thing for anybody accustomed to human bathrooms. A pony toilet was actually an enchanted bucket sunk into the ground. The waste would go in, the pony would hit an activation ruin on the wall, and the waste would be vanished. There was a second apparatus in the room that I quickly figured out was a bidet. And as the pony’s hooves had no interaction with the process, there was no sink, only a small basin one could use to rinse debris off of ones face. However, Twilight had a bipedal roommate/brother/son, and there was a sink in this one, though it was two feet off the ground. The room was far too short, and far too wide. All in all, it was a very weird experience.

I changed into my blue robes, bundled the wet ones up in a bag, and stuffed them into my new favorite toy. The satchel, or as I liked to call it, the bag of holding. If it was anything like a bag of holding from D&D, then it should be able to hold up to a quarter ton. And what I had with me barley weighted fifty pounds.

I walked out to the main room and found no one. There were voices wafting through a door set into the far wall. I padded my way over, having taken my boots and socks off to dry, and opened the door. It was the kitchen, and all of the ponies were facing away from me, looking at something Twilight’s roommate/brother/son was doing.

I did not meet him the last time I was in town. From what I could see of him, he looked like Barney had a baby with Alduin. He was bright purple with a green belly and green spikes. All of his scales and spines looked like they were razor sharp. He shifted slightly and I could hear the clicking of his talons on the hard wood floor. I could not understand what he was blathering on about, but he sounded like he knew what he was doing.

I stepped closer, not getting close enough to alert any of them, but close enough to see what was going on.

Apparently, Barnduin was giving the mares a cooking lesson. The kitchen was a mess with ingredients and dirty bowls and platters. The air was filled with the scent of boiling fruit, baked plums, and beat soup. He looked like he had been cooking for hours judging on how much food was caked on to the frilly pink apron strapped around his short form. He had just set down the last pot down when I decided to speak up.

“Smells good. Borscht?”

This got some interesting responses from them. Fluttershy, who was the farthest from me, jumped and squeezed herself into a corner. The loud and proud one had taken a mid air fighting stance in front of Fluttershy. Both Applejack and Twilight jumped and screamed. Little Miss Cocaine just smiled and waived at me, starting to chat like crazy. The white one gasped and ran. And Barnduin, who had stared cleaning the monumental mess that was the kitchen, turned and shouted.

“Cyka blyat!”

That explains all of the Slavic foods. Apparently dragons were Slavs or something? Were their gopnik dragons? How would they get drunk, what with the breathing fire and all that. Were there Adidas tracksuits for dragons?

I laughed. The others realized that it was only me, and started laughing with me.

“How did you sneak up on us? We should have heard your hoof steps way before you got in.” Twilight asked after we finished laughing.

“What hooves? I don’t have hooves.” As I said that, I could feel three sets of eyes stair at my feet, and the other four following suit. Most of them were a little bit confused, or weirded out. But Twilight and Fluttershy looked genuinely interested. I had large feet, even by human standards. It had been a bitch and a half finding combat boots in 14 wide.

“Is that why you have those things that go over your, um, things?” Well said Twilight.

“Yep. These are called feet. They only have a layer of thicker skin on the bottom of them, not a hard hoof. That is how I was able to sneak up on you. And for why I have the boots,” I pointed in the general direction of the sopping wet mess that was my boots. “The bottoms of my feet are very sensitive, and it hurts when I step on something like a rock, or a piece of wood, or anything that is pointier than a marble. The bottoms of those boots are made of some of the most durable materials my people are capable of making.” It felt weird explaining what boots and feet were to a group of talking, German ponies, and a Slavic dragon.

We moved on form the topic of boots, and onto food. For as odd as a Slavic dragon seemed to me, the little guy could really cook. I hadn’t eaten this well since I had cracked open one of the MREs in the Vegas sewers. As much as the palace tried to cater to my diet, they could not get any meat for me. Cheese spread with jalapenos and ravioli in a sack beat out salad and tea any day.

After eating ourselves stupid, we worked ourselves up to Twilight’s living room. It was on the second floor of the library, and was small and conservative, but had room for all of us. Twilight put up a translation spell, and I finally got to learn the others names. Pride parade was Rainbow Dash. Snowflame was Pinkie Pie. The white one was Rarity. And Barnduin was Spike. We got to know each other for a while, and eventually decided to call it a night. The rest had stayed over as the rain hadn’t let up yet. The rest of the night passed quietly.

///

The next day was subdued. Not much happened, other than the town coming out of it’s shell a little bit, and I got to meet a few new faces. One of which was a mare by the name of Lyra Heartstrings.

All I can say about Lyra is that she puts me on edge. Everything about her screamed “Free Candy”. I never actually met her, just saw her staring at me from fifty feet out or so. Everywhere I went, she was there, looking at me. It eventually ended when a cream colored pony bit Lyra by the ear and dragged her off.

Other than that spot of craziness, the day was completely uneventful.

The day after that, however was much more exciting.

The research team had arrived from Canterlot. They entered the library around eight in the morning the next day. For a research team, they were pretty eclectic. There was an orange unicorn who was an ancient human expert, a blue earth pony who was there as a photographer, and a hulking red earth pony who was acting almost as a bodyguard. Of course, upon hearing about the expedition, Twilight dropped everything and joined us. We then teleported to the cave where I had evaded capture ala Han Solo (i.e. Shooting the control panel until the thing stopped doing the thing that it was supposed to).

I did not like teleporting. I hated it in fact. It was worse than the trains. Twilight had explained the concept yesterday, but I did not think it would this bad.

“Twilight, I have a question.” Twilight was levitating a number of books in her study, reading them all at once somehow. Not waiting for a response, I continued. “Earlier today, I saw you vanish in a flash of light, and a few minutes later, you were back. What was that?”

Twilight set the books back on their shelves, bookmarks flying from various places around the room, and sticking themselves in between the proper pages before the books closed.

“That was a telaportation spell. I use it to move from one place to another. It works by creating an almost uncountable number of quantum tunnels, and pieces being shoved through these tunnels and reassembled in an instant on the other side. Like pushing cooked spaghetti through a colander. It’s perfectly safe, so don’t worry. It preserves your quantum state and soul, so there is nothing to worry about.” She had just described the single most terrifying method of travel I had ever heard of, and she thought there was nothing to worry about.

I looked up from the puddle of vomit in front of me, and stared Twilight in the eyes.

“The spaghetti analogy was completely unnecessarily.” I spat as I wiped my mouth. The cave was mostly unchanged from the last time I had been in here. Getting back onto the ledge was much easier than last time.

We fumbled around with the wall for a while before Twilight was fed up with the lack of entry, and made one for us.

She ushered us back, and her body shifted to take a wider stance. Her barrel was closer to the ground, knees were bent, and her legs were splayed. A rushing-tingling noise filled the cavern before a monstrous wave of purple energy bored a hole in the wall where the door was.

Twilight had been helping me develop my telekinesis yesterday. While I was disappointed to learn that I could only lift ten pounds, but I had a plan to work on it. What was more interesting was how magic flowing through a focus can create an auditory resonance. Every magical hum was different. Twilight’s sounded like bells in a low pitch vacuum cleaner. Mine sounded like a portal gun holding something. I was also surprised to learn that my magic did not have a shimmer like Twilight. It was a rare trait that only a few ponies in the world had.

Looking back to the wall, there was not a pony sized hole leading directly into the cavern. Twilight looked a little bit tired, but she shrugged it off like it was nothing, instead being excited to finally step into an ancient human city.

We had to wait for an hour of so after Twilight melted a hole in the wall, because she had not memorized a cryo spell today, and we had to wait on her to pull out the book and memorize one. After that though, we entered the cavern.

It was exactly as I remembered it. Big empty cavern, ever-glowing half melted gate, and the lift. Somehow, the lift was back in it’s original position. Must have been on a timer.

We all stood on the pad, and with a deep breath, I yanked on the lever.

Chapter Sixteen: The One With The Looting

Mzark was a deep city. Not by Human standards, it was practically on the surface. But bu Equestrian standards, it was the deepest they had ever seen. And for the ponies and my self, it was the deepest we had ever been before. The lift took a while to get us to the city itself, but we got there eventually.

We walked off the lift, and Blackreach, which I learned on the way down was the unicorn’s name, rounded us up in a circle.

“Alright, the Princess had given us two tasks for this city. Objective number one: Find and retrieve an experimental human weapon hidden somewhere in the city. We don’t know how long this will take, so Brick” She gestured to the only male pony in the group, the bodyguard “is carrying a months supply of food, water, and general supplies for us to use. Objective two: Princess Celestia was vague on this on, but she told us to make frequent stops so, and I quote “Gareth can collect his pay.” I don’t know what that means, but Gareth does. Now, lets start at the back of the city and work our way forward.”

///

The way back was mostly uneventful. It only took an hour for us to reach the rear most portion of the city. Luckily, the rear most was also where the military of the city was stationed. Combing through the base did not yield much in the way of loot, only a few more cells of my multitool, but it was a start.

We stopped after an hour of combing through the barracks to have some breakfast. We ran into a problem when brick took out one of the food bars for me to eat.

“What’s in this?” I grumbled while chewing around the thick, stringy mess in my mouth. I somehow managed to choke the glob down, but my mouth and throat felt violated.

“Oats, honey, hay, and some lavender and salt for taste. Standard military rations.” Brick said after swallowing his bite.

“Well shit. This is gonna be a problem.” The others flinched at the profanity, but I did not care.

“What’s wrong, Gareth” Twilight asked, concerned.

I passed the mostly whole bar off to her. “I can’t digest hay. These bars are completely inedible to me.”

The others paused for a moment, before it hit them. “We don’t have any other food. We have to abort the mission.” Blackreach groaned out. It had taken her days to put this expedition together, and now they had to abort because of some guy who couldn’t digest the most basic staple of the Equestrian diet. It was incredibly rare for someone to not be able to eat hay, but not unheard of. “Go ahead and gather what you can, Gareth. We will come back her later when we have something you can eat.”

I wandered off, feeling bad. It had obviously taken a lot of effort on her part to make this happen, and I had made it all for not. I wandered the base, just looking through lockers, desks, drawers, and various rooms for anything of use.

I found thirty more cells for my multitool, a hundred mid-power rounds for my rifle, and some odd capsules and vials in one of those wall mounted first aid kits. They were the only things in there. There were only three varieties; red, blue, and green. I found an ingredients and instruction label for each. Each kind of pill was the size of an aspirin, and the vials looked to only hold a couple of milliliters. The red pills and vials were general healing potions, the blue restored magical reserves, and the green was a general pick-me-up and stamina restoration. The pills were for time release and the vials were for immediate use. Worrying about expiration dates, I searched all over the box until I read the phrase, “Produced: 5/1/253M7 Timelocked: 6/1/253M7”. I had an idea what that meant, but wanted confirmation.

I wandered back to the others and approached Blackreach. “Hey, what does “Timelock” mean? I found some meds with that on the box. Do y- Whoa!” I pulled the box of magic boosting pills out to show her when Twilight practically tackled the box from my hand.

“You found TIMELOCKED pills?! This is amazing! Timelocking was one of the only good things the humans ever created! It is the perfect preservation technique. We have no clue on how to do it because we have no examples other than what is in books, but this might just be what we need to recreate it! Please tell me that you found more?!” I swear I heard a rubber band snapping. She had gone from lamenting the cancellation of the mission, to excited and frizzy haired, asking for my pills. Like an adorable Lewis.

“Sure thing.” I pulled the dozen boxes and the hand full of vials I had found in one of the first aid kit and handed them over.

Like I had stuck my finger in an electric socket, I sat up straighter. “We might not have to cancel the mission after all!”

This got Blackreach’s attention. “What do you mean? We don’t have anything for you to eat.”

I got a smug grin as I began spinning another web of bullshit. “Elves and Humans are evolutionary cousins. Different enough for the curse not to effect us, but similar enough that we shared a number of biological necessities. Including diets. That is the reason I am here in the first place, I can use human technology while you can’t. If we find some Timelocked rations, we won’t have to cancel the expedition after all!” It was a sound plan, but we actually had to find them in order for it to work.

This got everyone fired up again, and we began searching more vigorously. We eventually found a door with the words “Rations” printed onto them. Covering the door nobs was a sheet of metal, with a keyhole. Carved into this was a circle, and inside the circle was another two circles, with even more circles, lines, and dots all around it.

“Hey guys! I found it! But the door is locked with some kind of metal thing!” I called out. We were kind of spread out looking for this, but they came quickly enough.

Twilight hit it with an unlocking spell, only for the beam of light to bounce off of the surface of the lock. Frustrated, she tried again, and a third time. After that, she turned to us and said, “I can’t pick it. The lock is solid Alum. The only magic that will work on it is runic.”

“So you can’t use runic magic to open it? And what the fuck is Alum?” I asked dumbly.

She sighed. “I am a sorceress, not an enchantress. If we want in there, we have to find the key.” Not answering my second question. I would figure it out later.

///

We had been searching for an hour or so for the damn key. Twilight and Blackreach were searching the barracks and offices, while Brick, Shutter (the other pony), and I were searching the other rooms. The mess was devoid of everything other than the smell of food rotted away long ago. The CO’s office had an ancient bottle of mead, which I pocketed, and some more cells, but nothing other than that. The doctor’s office and clinic were another matter.

The cabinets full of meds were Timelocked. None of it was safe for ponies, but it could be useful for me. More vials of varying size, more pills, and some painkillers. They were small though, so they weighed less than ten pounds. Along with it was some general doctor stuff, like rubbing alcohol, bandages, plaster, and some other stuff. I took the bandages and alcohol and left the rest.

Inside the doctor’s desk were a few things. There was a pistol variant on the plasma rifle, and ammo for it. There was a white multitool (I had only seen the black ones before, so maybe this was for doctors on the battlefield?) and cells to go with it. There were four or five bottles of that ancient mead, and a flask with the same stuff. And there were a set of keys.

“Hey! I think I found them. Check it out.” I called to the others in the next room. I took the keys from the drawer when I heard a light clink sound from under them. Inside was a single vial of grey liquid. “What the...” I mumbled to myself.

The vial was about the size of the others, but there was writing on the side of it on a tiny label. “Booster. Do not expose to magic.”

“Huh. Cool.” My ring wasn’t going off, so it must not be evil (ring was a generous term. Ponies did not have rings, they had something that locks around the fetlock. It made me look like a gypsy). But I couldn’t put it in the bag, so I slipped it into one of the inner pockets of my robes.

“You found it? Well lets go test it out!” Brick called to me.

///

The ring had three keys on it, one of which was to the doctor’s office, though that was redundant now. I had kicked the door in. The second one opened the Rations door lock. It fell off with a light clunk. It was not big, only the size of an tablet, so I pocketed it, wanting to see what it did.

Opening the doors proved one of the misconceptions ponies had about humans wrong. They did not eat ponies. Humans here were apparently pescatarians. The rations all were 24 hour rations, and were the size of three Hersey bars stacked on top of each other. Because they kind of were. The only indication of what they were was the ingratiates list. One algae bar, one chocolate bar, and one fish pemmican bar. All of them had the same produced/timelocked stamp on them, so they were still viable. And the ring didn’t go off, so they were safe.

Blackreach was nervous. “What do they say?”

“Timelocked. The expedition can continue!” The rest cheered.

I spent the next hour packing all of them into my bag. There were only a few hundred in there, and they weighed almost nothing. I snacked on one of the “Salmon, Officer, Type III” rations. The timelock was really good though. The pemmican was still soft.

///

We explored the rest of the base for the rest of the day. Turns out that the third key was to the armory. I was fully stocked on cells, plasma rounds, some kind of thick batteries with handles, and for some reason arrows. The armory could use a restocking, but nobody was going to. I picked up some new rifles, including a sniper version, an LMG variant, and a massive plasma cannon that used the batteries with handles. There was a lot of money in the office, either they had to pay for their own ammo, or the quartermaster was doing some laundering.

The money was odd. They looked and felt like credit cards. Thick plastic with the various denominations printed on either side. The different denominations were different colors too. Ones were green, fives blue, tens red, twenties purple, fifties orange, hundreds yellow, five hundreds white, and thousands silver. Because there was nobody to spend it on, or anybody who would buy it, the money was completely worthless.

I still took it though.

The officers all had some kind of mead in their offices. They must have loved the stuff. Everyone knew that mead did not go bad, so there was not a “timelock” stamp on the bottles. This meant that the mead had been sitting there for over a thousand years undisturbed. A bottle sitting in my dad’s pantry for ten was worth hundreds, and tasted like it was worth thousands. What would these be like? I didn’t bother opening one, I had the flask. It was full, and a little rubbing alcohol around the mouth sterilized it.

I was about to put it to my mouth when I stopped. I had a mission to complete, and that was to take all of this city’s cool shit. Being drunk would not help that. With a sigh, I put the flask into the bag, and instead looked to the box of green pills, more specifically, one of the warnings.

“Do not use to replace sleep for more than three months.”

If anybody had seen me at that moment, they would have been wary of the gleam in my eye.

“The looting has been doubled.”

///

What followed was a solid month and a half of looting. Twilight had to leave early for some reason, so it was just the four of us down here. They learned to help me in looting every house of its valuables to keep us moving.

///

One and a half months later..

///

It was very quickly apparent that the bag I had was more than a normal bag of holding. It became apparent after the first military base. A normal bag of holding could usually hold 250 pounds, but this one just kept on going and going. I did reach a point where I could not fit any more in the bag, so I wound up dumping most of the weapons in one of the open manholes. The meds, ammo, jewelry, and mead stayed though. I still wound up dumping most of the money though, only keeping the highest denominations for display.

We had finally reached the end of the city. Every house had been looted, and every building was drained of ammo, jewelry, booze, and meds. We had come across a few more military bases along the way, and they were better stocked than the first one. The rations wound up being the only food I would keep from the entire city’s worth of food. They were only a few ounces, and they were timelocked.

The rest of the team was fed up with me, but were not complaining too much about the time it was taking, they were being paid by the day. The team was relived when it was discovered that this was the last building in the city, so the weapon must be in this one, and fuming that this was the last building in the city, so the weapon must be in this one.

The building was actually a door built into the wall of the cavern. Set into the door was one of those finger locks that I had to unlock by shoving each finger into a hole, grasp, and turn.

The door swung open with little noise. Inside was what looked like an office building with multiple floors. We looted the floor, and continued down, and looted again. This pattern repeated itself until we reached another finger locked door. Behind this one was the real prize.

It was a vast open room. Roughly a hundred feet in diameter, and with a pool of water in the middle. I looked down into the pool and was greeted with tubes a hundred feed down emitting a neon blue. Fantastic, a reactor.

Suspended over the pool with heavy duty cables was a single room. There was a walkway leading into this room on the other side of the main room. We walked to the ramp.

“Okay, guys. That pool is a nuclear reactor. Do not fall into it. I will grab the weapon and things and be right back.” Not waiting for a response, I walked gingerly up the ramp, and into the room.

It was only the size of an apartment kitchenette, and had two tables in it. One held the weapon. It was a backpack fed monster. The rifle was about the size of a Barrett, and the backpack looked to be at least a hundred pounds. The shells were too disproportionate to be true. They looked like someone had taken a 20mm shell, removed the round, and adjusted it to take a .30 caliber round.

The backpack was a giant box with a hopper on the bottom that fed the bullets into the chain. Inside the backpack was fifteen rounds, five in the chain, and some idiot decided to leave one in the gun’s chamber.

The gun, backpack, and chain all folded up, or disassembled to fit into the bag. The bullets just sipped in.

The second table had a simple terminal with a stack of computer chip looking things laying next to it. It was an unusual interface, but I came across the file that had the information on the rifle in it. Through some trial and error, I discovered the chips were data storage, and copied it over to one of them.

I was just about to exit out of the program when I had an idea. I selected every file on the computer, copied it over to a new chip, pocketed it, and hit the delete key. Now nobody could access it.

I exited the room, looked to the exhaustion group of ponies, and said “Let’s go home.”

For the first time in weeks, they looked like they didn’t hate me.

///

We parted ways almost immediately after exiting the cave. The others were unsure weather to be mad at me for keeping them underground in a human city for a month and a half, or to be happy that I netted them \ a month and a half’s wroth of pay from collecting my own.

I would have gone straight to the library, had it not been floating upside down in the sky. In fact, the entire town was floating, or on fire, or alive. The roads were slick and slippery, and everything smelled of chocolate mild.

From the moment I walked into the town, I felt as if I was being watched. And it was eerily quiet, other than the heavy metal played on the kazoo echoing throughout the entire town. I could almost feel the clouds of rice sized rubber duckies encompassing me.

Oh, shit they were! I was being held in place with a cloud of the miniature bath toys. Struggling only made them quack harder.

“Oooh! A new player to the game! Welcome, little human!” Wait, I knew that voice. There was only one being that I knew of that was strong enough to cause this big of a mess.

“Q?”

Chapter Seventeen: Dragons

The world stopped. Not in the metaphorical sense, or in the sense where adrenaline floods a person’s veins and they perceive the world moving at a much slower pace than before. No, the world stopped in a very real, and very literal sense. The chocolate rain stopped mid air, the houses stopped spinning, and the leaves on the trees in the distance stopped moving in the ever-present wind from the valley Ponyville was nestled in.

I felt the coils of ducks loosen. Not enough for me to reach my pistol, but enough that they were no longer crushing my chest and stomach to the point where I swore I heard something crack.

Little did I know at the time, but it was the vial of “Booster” I had found in Mzark.

There was a flash of light from somewhere behind me. Even with my new found freedom, I was still unable to move my head enough to see what it was. I felt two hands grasp me by the shoulders. These, I was able to see. The one on my left shoulder looked to be a prehensile bird’s claw, while the other was a lion’s paw.

“You have no idea just how long it has been since I have heard that name.” The voice seemed to originate over my head. The coils of ducks finally removed themselves from my frame, as did the hands.

There was nothing in front of me, so as soon as the hands left my shoulders and I had full mobility, I dove forward. I took a short leap from where I was, and landed in a crouch. With a quick spin and draw of my pistol, I was looking down the sights of what held me just a second ago.

The creature was at least ten feet tall, and looked like some horrific amalgamation of a dozen animals. It’s legs were that of a goat and some kind of clawed lizard (Utahraptor, maybe?). It had the tail of a snake with a pom-pom on the end, the body of a weasel, and it’s head looked like a donkey’s from back home, only with more human features. It had a crumpled unicorn horn, and a deer horn on it’s head. On it’s back was a set of wings, one feathered, and one webbed. The whole thing was rounded off with the aforementioned arms.

“Is that really necessary? Come now, if I really wanted to hurt you, I would have done it already.” The thing spoke in Q’s voice.

“What the fuck are you? You’re not Q.” I demanded, pistol remaining trained on it.

The creature bowed. “I am Discord. Avatar of chaos, father to the Chaos Gods, and the dynamo of change!”

I was unimpressed, and my gun showed it. “Ah-ha! It must be the draconequus form! One moment,” He (as I had assumed at the time) snapped it’s fingers, somehow. There was a great flash of light, and within a second, he had changed. Instead of the amalgamation of various animal parts, the figure now looked exactly like the curly haired form of Q, including the red shirt and comm badge pinned to his chest. “Ta-da!” Q exclaimed with vigorous jazz hands.

I replaced my pistol in it’s holster with a heavy sigh. I was more receptive of Q’s new form, not because he was human looking, that played no part in it. I realized that this was Q, and there was nothing I could do to hurt him even if I tried.

“I knew that you were in the human city, but I’ve been down there. It should have taken you a day at most to reach the weapons testing facility.” He saw my startled look and laughed. “Don’t worry, little human. I know about the weapon, and I have no interest in it. I just want to know why it took a month and a half for a two day job.”

Despite the situation, I smiled. “They put me in charge of navigation because they couldn’t read English. My pay was what I could loot from the city. So I made sure we visited was the weapons research facility last.”

Q and I were having a good laugh. We really had visited every building in the city, and it was a ton of fun on my part, but I was starting to wish that I had just taken the money. We stopped laughing after a bit. Q was standing straighter with a grim look on his face.

“As fun as it is to talk with you, I have some business to attend. And I can’t have you getting in my way.” Q snapped his fingers and vanished in a flash of light. At the same time, I could feel a kind of creeping numbness rapidly crawling up my legs and starting to reach my chest. I had just enough time to look down at my now stone legs and torso before my head was encompassed and my world went dark.

O0o0O

I awoke to a sound that I was ashamed that I had become accustomed to. The steady pulsing of the heart monitor told me just how badly I had messed up once again. I had only been in the hospital once in my life before I had come here, and that was embarrassing on its own.

Propping myself on my elbow and fumbling for a moment to retrieve my glasses from the bedside table, I got a look around the room I was in. It was a fairly barren room. Two chairs on one side, some equipment, and the bed. From outside the door, I could hear the faint clip clopping of hooves on tile. Resting on the foot of the bed was a single, pulsing light.

Before I could further examine the light, the sound of multiple sets of hooves against tile clattered from right outside my door. Seconds later, the door opened, and in walked Twilight and her friends.

“Gareth! You’re awake! Thank Wuotan!” Twilight called out to me in heavily accented English. Before I could respond, she wrapped her forehooves around my torso.

She broke from the hug and looked me in the eye. “What happened? Discord tuned you to stone, then you were asleep for two weeks. We didn’t think you would wake up at all!” Her eyes got misty at this point. Looking over to the rest of them, guilt hit me like a brick. All of them were in similar states. Even Rainbow Dash, though she hid it well. So Q froze me in stone huh? At least he was nice enough to keep me alive I guess.

“How long have you been waiting here?” I asked, voice crackling and raspy.

Applejack answered. “We came here every night for ‘bout an hour or so.”

My mind blanked for a second. These mares had taken an hour out of their days to sit in a hospital waiting on someone they barely knew to wake up. It made no sense.

I had to know, so I looked to Twilight and asked, “Why? You hardly know me.”

She gave me a confused look. “Why wouldn’t we? Yes, we don’t know you well, but you are still our friend. Of course we are going to visit you when you aren’t feeling well.” She gestured to one of the walls, “We came to visit you every day, but some ponies have dropped those off every day. Ponyville is a very close community, and we look after both guests and towns ponies alike.”

Resting on a table I did not even notice the first time, was a pile of flowers, cards, and presents from the various residents of Ponyville. A lot of the cards looked hand made, like they were from the same person. The flowers were in bags adorned with glowing blue runes. Surprisingly, none of them had wilted yet.

I was utterly baffled. This was so unlike anything I had ever expected. Humans were so different in regards to friends and neighbors. The one time I was in the hospital back home, after a bad car accident, the only person to come to see me was my family and my girlfriend at the time, and only my mother actually stayed with me in the hospital the whole week I was in there. My friends did not even send me a card, and my neighbor did not even know my name, let alone care that I was injured. I have to admit, this was a major bit of culture shock for me. This was camaraderie on a scale that I only thought existed in military units and The Communist Manifesto.

I will admit, it moved me a bit. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, and slowly stood up, ignoring the protests of the mares. I braced myself against the bed, but even then I was barley able to hold myself up. I could feel my strength returning slowly, but I was majorly week. I heard Twilight try to use magic on me, but placed my free hand on her back, and shook my head. “Please don’t. I need to do this.”

By then I was more confident that I would not fall, so I took my first hesitant step towards the ponies. I almost fell, but was able to recover. Eventually I was able to make it over to the others, where I allowed myself to kneel down.

I drew each of them into a hug and gave them a heartfelt, “Thank you.” After this, I was fully able to stand up and move around a bit.

I made a split second decision, and realized that I needed help with it. “Twilight, can you teach me German? I want to be able to talk to the rest of the town.”

Twilight’s face lit up, “Of course! I’ll get a lesson plan ready, and get some primers, and a...” She was muttering at this point, and had a quill and paper out and was jotting a frightening amount of notes down.

I was regretting it already.

O0o0O

We left the hospital a few hours ago. The crown had taken care of the bill yet again (I was really racking up a tab in that regard), because I was still cash free. There were some well wishers, but it was late, so not many were out, just a few thestrals and the ponies with night shifts. Fluttershy and Rarity left for home to get some sleep, but the other four were still with me. I was not tired in the slightest, and was not interested in going to sleep just yet.

We got back to the tree house, where the other three pealed off to get home. Twilight let us in, but was still mumbling to herself on lesson plans. I was then nearly knocked over by a knee height mass of scales, teeth, and barney.

“Gareth! You’re of being back!” He called out in heavily accented English, though this time, it was a Russian accent. Twilight at this point had left for her room to make up lessons.

“Yep. I’m back.” I said as I flopped down on one of the plush cushions Twilight had for visitors to sit and read on.

Spike pulled up a smaller cushion and sat down in front of me. “So, why did you come here? To Ponyville. Is Canterlot not of good?” Spike asked.

I sighed and wormed my way deeper into the cushion, trying to get comfortable. “There was a treat on my life by the Changelings, so Celestia sent me here.”

Spike nodded. “Yes, I no like Bug-Horse,” I learned from talking with Gust that Bug-Horse is the most derogatory term for a Changeling one can use. Most would never even considering using such a slur against anybody, even a Changeling. “They have killed many my people.”

“I was gonna ask you about that. Can you tell me a bit about your people?”

Spike smiled and sat up straighter. “Of course. Ahem, where start? Oh yes! There nine continents on Earth. Antera, where most of life on Earth live. The Chill, frozen tundra where Fire Dragon live to far north. The Scorch, almost barren wasteland to south west. The Old World, to south west where most of ancient species live, like the Zebra, Deer, Camel, and Fey live. The Dragonlands, to north west, where Ice Dragon live. Is also biggest continent. The Ti Island Chain, to west. Not much known about Ti islands, but where most Daring Do series based. That six continents, other three weird.

“First of weird one is Breach. Breach tear in universe to far west. Breach also where ley line barriers come from. Ley barriers are three hundred kilometer tall deadly magic fountains that cut off known world from last two continents. Kill most, but Magic Dragon immune. The second is Echo. Echo cover almost a quarter of planet. Only Humans survive because they live underground. There constant wind, miasmas, poison air, meat eating plants, and almost no water. But worst there no sound. Magic of Echo keeps plant, wind, and animal sound from being made. So anything you do make constant echo. We know this because there gap in lay barrier that humans escaped into. The third and last one The Lost World. Lost World cover over half of planet, and is nothing but scorched land, and ruined city with nothing living there. There evil magic that keeps anything from living there, and kill anything that come there. We only know of place from Princess Luna, when she lead campaign to kick Cyka humans off of moon. There is no way to Lost World, except over the ley barrier or through Echo.

“Of the nine, Dragons live on three. There are three types of Dragon. Ice, Fire, and Magic. Ice Dragons live in desert of Dragon lands, and are oldest type of Dragon. They live in desert because Ice inside would freeze them alive. They use heat of desert to keep themselves from dying. Fire dragons live in Chill, in the arctic tundras. Fire burn them up if live anywhere else. Ice cool down Dragon fire. These two types of Dragon live thousand of year, if nothing bad happen.

“Last is Magic Dragon. I Magic Dragon. Magic Dragon different from normal. Magic Dragon must be hatch with magic stream. Only magic species create Magic Dragon. Egg given to magic species, then hatched with magic. Can be Fire or Ice. Mine Ice. Magic poured on egg for three days, and how power mage is, make how power Dragon is. Twilight hatch me, and is most power Unicorn in world. Since she four. She hatch me when she twelve. I only eight, but I more smart and power than other Magic Dragons a hundred time my old. Magic Dragon, once hundred year, can change shape. Not like Cyka Bug-Horse, but can change form. After hundred year, Magic Dragon no age. Magic Dragon born knowing Dragon tong, and have hard time learn other tong. Almost impossible. I may know Gryphic and Germane, but I always have accent, forever. After we twenty, we learn how to magic. We no can learn before then. Magic Dragon also only Dragon that no wing. After Magic Dragon old enough, most move to Honalee, magic land of Magic Dragon. It deep in ley barrier, but we okay. Only two hundred Magic Dragon, no friend with other Dragon, and we no have egg, but that okay.”

Well before Spike finished, I had pulled out my scroll tablet and started taking notes. The Dragons were fascinating, most needing help from the environment to maintain homeostasis. The Magic Dragons were amazing in their own regard. No aging, they can use magic, and they have a country named, of all things, Honalee.

But what was more fascinating was the continents. It sounded like most of the planet was barren, toxic wasteland. The Lost World especially sounds like they learned the hard way what nukes do. I think that the ley barriers aren’t some kind of magical accident, or a human sabotauge to the world. It sounds like an immune response from the planet itself. Like it was keeping its living inhabitants from dying from the horrors of what was out there.

I looked up from my scroll to ask Spike what else he could tell me, but he was already asleep. Not that I could blame the kid. He was only eight. There was a pile of blankets in one of the corners that were clean, so I draped one over Spike and made my way upstairs. I wasn’t tired, but I had a lot of things I needed to think about.

“If Twilight doesn’t have her lesson plans ready by tomorrow, I think that I might go visit the others.