The Warlock

I awoke to hushed whispering.

"Ist das der Mann, Kapitän (Is this the guy, Captain?)?“

"Ja, aber ich weiß nicht , warum ein Mann in einem echten Militärkaserne ist .  (Yeah, but I don't know why a male is in a real military barrack.).“

“Vielleicht integrieren wir endlich (Maybe we are finally integrating?)“

“Und Hengste in Gefahr bringen (And put stallions in danger?)?“

“Ich glaube du hast recht (I guess you're right.).“

I cracked open my eye. While my eyesight sucked, I could still tell that I was surrounded by at least four thestral mares. The closest one of them had a large scar running down her face, going from forehead to the underside of her muzzle. The scar disappeared behind an eye patch on her left eye. The other three were too far away to see any distinguishing characteristics. They all had the same, dull-iron grey coloration, and the same cobalt mane and tail.

The one with the scar noticed my now awakened state.

“Guten Morgen (Good Morning!)!“ The one with the scar greeted me. Upon hearing this, the other mares stopped whispering among themselves and turned to look at me.

“Mornin'“ I swung my legs over the side of the hammock, all while using my hands to keep balance. Once I was sitting upright, I got a look around. There were not just the four.

From what I could tell, there were at least fifteen mares around the hammock.

“Shit. I slept in the women's barracks, didn't I?“ I was going to be in so much shit for this. First day as a citizen and I already slept in the wrong gender room.

“What's a woman?“ One of the mares in the back asked.

“You know, a female? I'm sorry if I slept in the wrong room. I'll just find the men- I mean the stallion's barracks.“ I apologized.

In this situation, I had fully expected the mares to start yelling at me, or have me arrested. Or even simply accept my apology. They did something I never would have anticipated.

They laughed.

Apparently, I had said something amusing. Seeing as I was not likely to be viciously beaten, I mustered the courage to ask,

“What's so funny?“ To which they laughed harder.

“Stallion's barracks! You mean Celestia's Honor Guard? The stallions that get paid to stand around and look pretty?“ The scared mare asked after composing herself. “They aren't real military. The closest they get is the Captain. Shining Armor is the only stallion to complete real military training in history, and even then he isn't real military.“

This mare had just won all of my wat.

“I'm sorry? I could have sworn that you just said that there are no males in the military.“ The mares broke down laughing again. Looks like I was right.

This was too weird.

Sighing, I pushed myself out of the hammock. The mares stopped laughing once they saw just how tall I was compared to them. The tallest one only reached up to my naval. The mares began whispering again in German (Germane, whatever. I still couldn't understand it.)

I dug into my breast pocket and pulled out my glasses. Thankfully the light in the barrack was dim, so I was not immediately blinded.

I took a deep breath and immediately regretted it. Something stunk. After a bit of olfactory detective work, I discovered the culprit. I had not bathed in over four days, and they were filled with some serious exercise.

“Do you have a place where I can grab a shower? I don't think you would appreciate me in your shower.“

One mare from the back piped up “We wouldn't mind!“ The hint of desperation in her voice and the giggles that followed proved me wrong.

“Um... Never mind, I'll just find a different shower.“

Did I mention that this was too weird?

While the mares were preoccupied with gossiping, most likely about me, I strode over to the footlocker with my stuff in it.

I did not really have much time to look over the stuff I found in the human city. The datapad was pretty self explanatory. It was a clear tablet. I was more curious on the black handle I had found.

It was a dull, matte black, and weighed a fair deal. Along either side were four indentations along it. Places for fingers. As I gripped it in my left hand, I could feel the indentations shifting under my fingers. I decided to fuck around with it while the mares were gossiping about me.While I was messing with it, I squeezed all of my fingers at once.

KA-TWSHC!

The thing extended out from itself into a sword looking thing. The sudden jerking of the extension caused me to loose my grip on the item. As it left my hand there was another KA-TWSCH! as it retracted back to it's original state.

And thankfully too, as all the mares were glaring at me, crouched to pounce with a midnight black blade in their teeth.

“Where did you get that?! Where did find a multitool?!“ The scared one yelled, having removed the intimidating blade from her teeth.

“I found it in a cave! It was just sitting there and it looked important! So I took it! I didn't know what it does!“ I squeaked, hands raised. I was actually going to die this time. I was going to be killed by adorable bat-ponies.

The mare looked me over. “Why should I believe you? How do I know that you aren't some Changeling conspirator?“ She at least looked like she was giving me a chance.

I had nothing. These mares knew me for minutes, and I had unwittingly pulled a weapon in their presence. They thought I was there to kill them. I did not even know what a Changeling was, but I could tell from the way she said it, that they were not exactly looked upon as friendly. I had to think of something quick.

This might get me killed, but it was all I had. “Luna trusts me. She can back me up.“

The mare narrowed her eyes and sighed. She stood up from her crouch. The other mares followed her lead. “Sorry about that. Just that, me and the other girls here are all veterans of the Shenth war. Of an entire army, after three months of hiding in the Garg's Landing sewers and guerrilla warfare, we were the only eighteen to survive, though Sarge is not here today. There were 64 civilians as well. A city, army, and two hundred thousand lives were destroyed with those weapons. Most of our scars came from weapons just like that one. That sound meant that one of our own would not be coming home. Look, I believe that you had no intention of actually harming us. The Chief trusts you, so I do to. Just don't go pulling that thing out in public.“ Funny, Mike said the same thing to me at one of his parties.

“Sure. I'm really sorry for that. I had no idea what it was. I'll just be going.“ I gingerly picked up the discarded “multitool“, and put it back in my bag.

In short order, I had my boots, vests, rifles, and bags on, all the while the mares carefully monitored me. It took less than two minutes to get everything on. I began walking to the door.

One of the mares came up to me as I was leaving. It was Lieutenant Gust. “We're sorry about that. It's just that when you hear that sound so often, and when you do, it means that a friend died. It seriously messed us up.“ She explained. “We're not mad, you couldn't have known. Don't think that we hate you now, or something. It's just...“ She trailed off.

“I'm not upset. It was a perfectly understandable reaction. I am sorry for upsetting you. And I am sorry for your friends as well.“ I tried to offer her some comfort.

She did not say anything, but nodded and trotted off to the rest of the group.

I quietly left the room.

O0o0O

Oh man, I felt like shit!

I was so upset over accidentally tripping the mares massive cases of PTSD, that I did not realize where I was going. I wandered around for a bit, until I bumped into someone.

It was another mare, though this time, she was not a thestral. She was however, quite tall (for a pony anyway, topping out at four foot five), bright pink, and adorned with wings, and a horn.

Now, as a top-heavy human weighing 130 kilograms altogether with gear, walking into a stable pony who weighed at most 70 kilograms, there was a slight issue. She stayed mostly stationary, while I flied ass over tits. It also did not help that she had warped a deceptively strong wing around my waist and added extra momentum to my fall.

Murphy was not my friend today, as I landed on square on my face. With that much force behind that much weight, and while I was able to catch myself, my head still hit the floor. Thankfully not hard enough to give me a concussion, but hard enough that something was bound to break.

Namely, my nose.

“Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry! You just smashed into me and I just reacted! Are you okay?!“ The mare asked.

I groaned and pushed myself off the floor. My nose dripping blood everywhere. The mare noticed it, and gasped.

“Oh no! You're hurt! We have to get you to the doctor right away!“ She levitated me to my feet, taking care not to jostle me. “It's not far from here!“

I poked at my nose, wincing at the sharp pressure in the back of my face. I felt around to get an idea of what it looked like. I tried to take a step after her, but the shock form putting my foot down shook me too much.

Gritting my teeth, I braced my thumbs against each side and jerked. White stars floated on the edge of my vision, but it was mostly straight now, and I could move with less pain. Did not stop the blood though. Doing my best to plug it up, I walked after the startled mare.

“That was really dumb! You could have hurt yourself!“ She scolded me.

“Nah. I'be dun id before. I was fine.“ I mumbled.

Moments later, we reached a new wing of the castle. Everything was bright white and felt too clean for my tastes. The mare behind the desk took one look at my now blood covered blouse and face, and called for a doctor. Not a moment later, a mare with a white coat (both the article of clothing and the fur coloration) came from around the corner.

I was lead to an examination room. She worked on my nose for a moment, and used some kind of magic to mend the cartilage and blood vessels.

There was a knock at the door, and Luna, Celestia, and the other alicorn came in. The later looking decidedly guilty. Thankfully the room was big enough to hold all five of us. The doctor was waving some kind of light all over my body while the royals walked in.

“We heard that you were here, but we did not expect you to be in such shape, Gareth.“ Luna commented.

I waved her off. “Meh. I've had and fixed worse. Just a mild case of broken nose. No biggy.“ This did not settle the doctor's nerves.

“I can tell. From what I can see, you have fixed your own nose no less than three times, set your own right for-leg, and left hind-leg, self treated for hypothermia and hyperthermia, had dozens of infections, and hundreds of insect stings. Not to mention the countless stitches you have given yourself. I don't even know how you sealed some of those, there aren't any signs of threads!“ She lectured me. At least medicine was somewhat up to par. That was a fun couple of videos, Vietnam in one, Montana in the winter for the other.

“Two words. Super glue. Works wonders on non-jagged wounds.“ I stated. Looking over at the extremely concerned alicorns, I smiled. “I told you, I've had worse.“

“Besides the broken nose, did you come here for anything specific? I got a notice that you have an appointment for today.“ The doctor asked me.

I could not remember what I was scheduled for, but thankfully Celestia did. “He is here for a magical and physical checkup.“

The doctor nodded. “Well, I already got the physical out of the way. Other than the aforementioned self-treated injuries, your are easily one of the most in shape stallions I have ever seen. Only Celestia's Captain comes even close. What is it you do that requires you to be this physically fit?“ The grilled me. I was happy that I was apparently in incredible shape, something my own doctor would have never have said.

I shrugged. “Everyone needs a hobby. And mine just happens to be putting myself into potentially life threatening situations, so I can take that experience and help others learn how to get out of those potentially life threatening situations.“ I explained. They apparently had no concept of what a survivalist was, so I had to explain what it was every time. “If I was out of shape or could not treat my own injuries, I could not do what I do.“

The mares looked between themselves. I could not understand what was being said, but I could tell it would not be good for me.

“I did not get any magical scans from you, but we can start now if you want.“ The doctor offered. I nodded and she began shining a different colored light all over my body.

This took far longer than the other scan. While she did linger on my hands and head, she seemed to be searching for something. Her searching seemed to get more and more frantic after a few minutes. Eventually, she seemed to give up.

“I hate this part.“ She mumbled to herself. Shit, that is never good when a doctor says that. “I regret to inform you that, you do not have a focus or a converter. You are utterly incapable of magic.“ The doctor was resigned, while the pink alicorn gasped in horror. Luna, Celestia, and I already knew this, and were not surprised. “You do, however have an unusual aspect to your soul. It seems as if it can channel magic through it, but I would not recommend it. All documented instances of soul magic have left the user or subject changed physically. From what I can see, you have used soul magic at least once. There are crystaline growths along the bones in your claws, though I have no idea what they are used for. “The doctor lectured.

I could guess on what the growths in my hands came from, and what they did. They let me use TK. Somehow.

The doctor started again. “You also seem to have a bit of racial evolution finishing up. I can tell from the sunglasses that you are extremely uncomfortable in the light. That one is almost finished changing. What I did find interesting was what is going on in your brain.“

Crap. Humans are known for their brains. I could be found out.

“Like your claws, there are the same type of growths scattered in a near-perfect three dimensional grid inside your brain. These growths are giving you a near perfect memory recall. It is not a true adeitic memory, but you won't have to worry about losing memories in your later years.“ She lectured, this time with a bit of a smile. Seems some good came out of this. “Just what are you, Mister Campbell? I know that you are an 'Elf', but that does not explain the sudden racial evolution. If there was any magic where you came from, then you would have a focus and converter, and the racial evolution would have taken place just after birth.“ I retract the previous statement.

I had to come up with something, quick. “I belong to a race of sub-terrainian elves called the Drow.“ I just keep digging myself further and further into this lovely little hole of bullshit. “We live underground most of the time, though some like spending time on the surface.“

The doctor nodded, and began mumbling as she took notes on me. “And how is it that you have not developed the racial revolutions until now?“

“From what Gareth told us, he lived in a magical dead zone up until he came to Equestria.“ Celestia chimed in.

The doctor nodded, and made a note in her folder. The exam was pretty normal for a physical, though with the occasional question of what a body part did. It only lasted a few minutes though, as she did most of the exam with that light of hers.

I was cleared after a few more minutes. She had given me a clean bill of health.

The pink alicorn spoke up after we left the medical wing. “I'm so sorry about earlier! I was a bit preoccupied, and didn't see you, and i only noticed you after you had bumped into me.“ She rambled on like this.

I felt sorry for the mare. She was obviously flustered about something other than tripping me and making me smash my face. She had enough on her plate as it was.

“It's alright, ma'am. I'm not hurt. Are you okay though?“

She looked relieved. “I'm fine, just stressed about something dumb. I'm glad you are alright though. I'm Cadance. It's nice to meet you.“ She offered her hoof to me.

Taking her hoof, I gave it a pump. “Gareth. Nice to meet you.“ We made small talk for a few minutes, before finally parting ways outside the main throne room.

Luna and Celestia took to their thrones, and sat down, ready for the wave of needy nobles. I decided to leave them be.

I headed out in search of the library. I had some history to catch up on.