The Warlock

I had seen the Predator movies. The pony in front of me gave off that exact same shimmer. She had been advancing on me when I spotted her. She froze at my command.

"Uncloak. Now." My pistol remained unwavering at where I thought her head was.

There was the sound of crackling chitin as the field was removed from the pony. I immediately noticed that she was much different than Twilight or any of the other ponies. While Twilight and the others averaged at around three feet tall, this one was four and a half. Confusion and fear were evident in her eyes, probably from the fact that I had seen her in the first place. She was also armed to the teeth.

She had a multitude of knives, swords, crossbows, tiny bottles, and even a mace. As well as this, she was clad in armor similar to the ones on the police had worn. It looked more protective than the others though, as it covered her joints better and was thicker. I noticed that, while she was armed, all of the weapons were put away.

"I just want to talk. Can we be civil with each other?" She said in a clam voice. "I have only ever seen one human who was not outright evil, and I wish to know why you are not like the rest of your kind."

I lowered my pistol, although it never left my hand. At least she was willing to talk to me. Unlike whoever it was in the tree when they were hunting me, this pony was willing to hear me out. I said nothing, but I nodded in confirmation.

"Let's start small. My name is Luna. I am the Commander in Chief of Equestria's Armed Forces. What's your name?"

I was stunned at the sheer absurdity of the whole situation. "My name is Gareth Campbell. I am a professional emergency survival instructor." Meh, close enough. "If I may ask a question, why did you, the President of an entire country, come hunting after a member of an infamous species in enemy territory? Isn't that a horrible tactical move?" I had no idea how the political system works here, so I tried not to judge how things work here.

"I don't know what a President would have to do with this. Equestria is not a business. And to answer the second question, I came after you because I have the most experience fighting of anypony on the continent. Over eight hundred years." Luna spoke with pride, while my brain melted.

I could almost hear the needle scratch on the record. Hold on a moment. She has over EIGHT HUNDRED YEARS experience fighting humans. My whole world ground to a halt for a split second as I realized that a dinky .45 pistol was not going to do much to her if she decided I was a thereat. Rebooting my brain, I looked back to her.

"So, are you an Immortal, or just very long lived?" It seemed like the right thing to ask at the moment. I mean, it was a logical conclusion.

"My sister and I, as well as my adopted niece are all immortals. We have ruled the land for over a thousand years. My younger sister, Celestia, was the one in Twilight's home two nights ago. And she was the one to drive you off before I could properly meet you and discover your motives." Luna stated. It seemed like they shared responsibilities between themselves.

"I apologize for my sister's actions. She is normally reserved, but gets this way when humans are brought up. We both lost a lot of good friends, and she harbors a strong resentment against humans." Seems reasonable, seeing what the humans did in the war.

"I would like to hear it from her, but for what it's worth, thank you. Honestly, my only motives at the moment are to get home." I would have winced at the harshness of my words, but I was far too stressed out and tired to care. "I know that my home country is not on the continent, Twilight showed me a map." I neglected to tell her that I did not recognize the continent either.

"I honestly don't care how or why I arrived here, but all I want is a way to get home." I tried to keep tears from welling up. It was harder than I thought, but I managed. Catching my breath, I looked at Luna.

This was the dumbest idea I had ever had in my life, but I had nothing to loose (except my freedom, life, and any hope of the building manager not discovering my stash of magazines), and was willing to take a risk. Taking a deep breath, I holstered my pistol.

"Can you convince your sister not to kill me on sight? I would like some advice on what to do." I was not stupid enough to trust her, but she was my best bet for getting home.

Luna's face lit up like it was her birthday. "Excellent! I suggest that we leave immediately for Canterlot. We will need a covered chariot, and a private hanger, but I think we can manage." She went on making plans until we reached the top of the shaft.

The lift stopped with a clank. We were in the middle of some kind of forest. The forest was much different than the one I landed in. Instead of snowy grounds, the forest floor was totally clear. The air was much warmer as well. There was a noise emanating from all directions that I was very familiar with. Cicadas only came out in the summertime. This forest almost seemed like it was in the middle of the summer. But what was tripping me out the worst was the fact that it was at most 80 degrees. Why were cicadas out in Arizona late fall weather? I think that this might be hot for Equestria judging on how badly Luna was panting and sweating. The cave was only about 60, and she looked like fine then.

"We should not be here. This is the Everfree forest, and by the looks of it, we are deep in the heart of the forest. We should not be here." Luna whispered to me as we weaved between the overgrown trees. "The entire forest is totally uncontrollable. The weather does what it pleases, the animals do not require pony help to survive, and the whole place it teaming wi-" I shushed her.

"Do you hear that?" I whispered as softly as I could.

"Hear what?" Luna had obviously never fought or lived in a forest before.

"Exactly. The bugs stopped making noise. Stay frosty. Insects going quiet is a dead give away that something large with a taste for meat was nearby." Luna nodded and drew the weapons from her back. Like, all of them. The area around the mare looked like a small blue tornado of steel and wood.

Feeling inadequate, I pulled my Orbez and chambered a round. I did not want to use the plasma rifle, because let's face it. Plasma is really fucking hot. Like, in the realm of 6000 degrees kelvin hot. Not exactly something to shoot off into a forest.

Why did I remember that?

There was a rustling in the bush to our left. We turned and readied ourselves.

Stepping out from the bush was one of the most horrible looking creatures I had ever seen. It stood over ten feet tall at the shoulders, and looked to be made of matted seaweed, mangy fur, and an assortment of tumors. It walked on four legs, the front two looking more like octopus tentacles than legs. Its head was massive and elongated. Resting in the center of the head was a single eye. Its mouth looked like that of a hag fish.

Luna's pupils dilated. "Bunyip..." She whispered to me. "They have terrible eyesight, but make up for it with their hearing and smell. Try not to make any loud noises. This one is young, probably only a year or two old. The adults are probably near by and are infinitely more dangerous." I nodded, not daring to make any noises. If this one was only a baby, then I would hate to see an enraged adult. It must have smelled us, as it turned and let out a screech that sounded like someone had taken an angle grinder to a chalk board.

The thing charged. Luna's knives shot towards and began slashing at the tough hide of the creature, whist she attacked with hooves, wing blades, and magic. Watching her fight was like watching a ballerina. Her moves were fluid and precise, with no energy wasted in fancy moves. The whirlwind of knives dancing with the pony, they were in perfect sync. Although there was a problem. Her knives would usually bounce off of the thick fur, and some of the thinner ones simply snapped. The only things that seemed to be working were the mace, and the crossbows.

Knowing that I could not aim my shortened rifle more than ten feet, I did something monumentally stupid. I rushed the thing. The combination of whirling blades of death emanating from Luna, along with the bunyip attacking with surprisingly strong tentacles that gouged huge chunks of earth from the ground made this extremely dangerous. I eventually made my way underneath the creature's chest. It's chest was about seven feet above ground, and covered in thick fur and seaweed. Knowing that the Obrez was not going to be effective any way else, I pressed it up to the creature's underside and fired.

I barely made it out from underneath the creature before it fell over, shuddered, and died with an ear splitting shriek. Shrapnel from the bullet flying through the creature's body, slicing organs, veins, and arteries like butter.

I love homemade dum dum bullets.

Luna stared at the small rifle in my right hand with shock. She had never seen what my guns could do, so she was surprised that it had killed the monster so quickly.

"How did you do that!? Bunyips usually take a team of ponies a few hours to take down, and with a fifty percent casualty rate! Even the humans had a difficult time killing them with PLASMA! And you managed to kill it in a single shot! What does that thing shoot?!" She was freaking out. I tried to calm her down, but only got more yelling in return. I think she was more freaked out that I had been pointing one of these at her only a few moments ago, than my ease of killing the bunyip. I kept trying to explain what I had, but her questions kept drowning me out.

More screeches rang out from various places in the surrounding forest. Most of them sounded alike, but there was one that generated a much louder grinding noise. It was at this instant that we decided to stop talking.

O0o0O

"So it throws small metal projectiles with an explosion at your enemies? It is almost like the ancient cannons the humans used, except there is no electromagnetic coils, and they did not use an explosion." Luna was surprisingly knowledgeable about the physics of ancient humans technology. What surprises me even more is that not even the military uses the tech from the human era. It really seems like what Twilight said about ponies fearing technology holds up.

We were sitting atop a tree in the Everfree. The bunyips had cornered us here, and Luna said that her magic was acting funny because of some kind of environmental lack of magic.

"Exactly. The reason I was able to kill the bunyip in one shot was because the single bullet I fired carried almost 4000 joules of energy into the animal. In order to achieve the same amount of force with, say your short sword," I pointed to the one of the smaller swords strapped underneath her wings. It was only two feet long, and had no hilt, as she just levitated the thing. "You would need to swing it at over 160 miles per hour, or over 250 kilometers an hour." I had learned early on in the discussion that ponies, and most of the creatures on Antera used the metric system. Mildly confusing, but not too bad.

I stopped talking after I made the statement. I had no idea how I had done the math for the numbers. I was just talking to Luna and the numbers came with no warning. Where did I even learn the muzzle velocity equation? And why did I remember what issue of Guns & Ammo it was from, along with the page number and the article's author?

Luna noticed my silence. "Is something wrong?" For a pony who just a few hours ago was hunting me, she seemed pretty damn concerned.

I shook my head. I would figure this out later. For now though, I was pretty tired from the long two days. And regardless of how long I was out, the medical table did nothing to alleviate my lack of sleep. It had come on suddenly though. Probably from the lack of sleep

"Nothing. I just realized how tired I am. I think I'm gonna get some sleep." I yawned. Pulling out a length of para chord from my bag, I tied myself to the trunk of the tree. Luna refused when I offered her a length for later.

"Good night human."

"Don't kill me in my sleep or I'll haunt your ass." I was already half asleep and not really thinking about what I was saying.

O0o0O

Luna was relived. The sleeping spell finally took effect. Now she could really see what this human's true intentions were for Equestria.

She lowered her horn to the humans head and focused. She could feel the signs that he was truly asleep and pushed further.

O0o0O

I was on the outskirts of a small town, quite similar to what I had seen of Ponyville. This was the town that most of my businesses were. I had set up here ten years ago, and since then, I owned over five percent of all the businesses in the town.

The place seemed so warm and friendly. I shouldered my pack and walked into town. The local ponies and humans waving at me and throwing warm greetings my way. Waving back, I continued on. The town seemed bristling with activity. Shop keeps haggling with human and pony alike. There was the tole of the bell off in the distance. From a small red building, children and foals poured out. I smiled at how peaceful this place seemed.

Something tugged on my pant leg. Looking down, there was a pair of small forms. One was a young human girl, probably only eight or so years old. The other was a pony foal, probably the same age. Both looked like they wanted something.

"Excuse me, sir?" The young mare asked. "Do you know how to get to the park from here?"

I did know. I knew almost instinctively how to get there. "Of course! Go half a mile north and turn on Celestial road. It's on the right side of the street."

The pair's faces lit up. "Thanks mister!" They called over their shoulders as they ran to the park.

I continued on with my day. Passing various different mares, stallions, men, and women that I knew, giving a warm greeting to each of them.

My bright day took a bit of a down turn when I visited Sour Grapes, the local homeless stallion. I talked with him for a bit, and eventually left after leaving him with a gold bit.

I had an idea. I had no idea if it would work, but it was worth a shot. I walked into the local inn. There was an older woman behind the front desk, seemingly bored out of her mind. I walked up to her and got her attention.

"Hey Mary, how are you?" I asked. She had been running the inn for as long as I could remember, and was always up for a conversation with passerby's.

"I'm doing well, Gareth! How about yourself?" Her face lit up. She so rarely saw any one person on a regular basis, that she relished the fact that I dropped in every day to chat.

"I'm doing fantastic! I have a favor to ask of you." I said as I pulled out my coin purse.

"Of course, Gareth. What do you need?" She was concerned, as I had only ever asked favors for serious issues.

I pulled out three platinum bits and placed them on the desk. "I need you to hire Sour Grapes for a month."

She stared dumbly at the triangular pieces of precious metal on her desk. I had just dropped three months wages for an average person on her desk like it was nothing. "What?"

"I want you to hire Sour Grapes." I repeated myself.

"I got that much, but why? Sour Grapes is the local homeless stallion, and has no idea how to work. What can he do?" She was incredulous about what I was asking her to do.

"Because I want to help him get off the streets. Sour Grapes is a good person who just hit a rough patch." I explained. "I have a plan that will help the both of you."

She gave me an odd glance, but gestured for me to continue.

"I want you to take this money, and give Sour Grapes a job. Employ him for a month and pay him on commission. Give him a list of things he needs to do for the day, and pay him a few bits for each of them he completes. If, at the end of the month you find his work ethic to your liking, hire him full time with the same plan. If not, thank him and give him the rest of the bits. I gave you 9,000, so you can give him as many tasks as you want." I explained. "You might just find that he could be your best employee."

I could see her eyes light up. She was enthralled with the idea of a no risk employee. "Alright. I can do that."

We walked out to where Sour Grapes was seated, and pitched the idea to him. He jumped at the idea of work, and immediately accepted. I saw a brief flash of a series of pictures, I saw that he would earn all three of those platinum bits after the second week he had been hired on as a full time employee, I saw his picture on the employee of the month wall, I saw him running the inn after the old woman had passed and willed it to him, Sour Grapes looking proudly on as he opened his eleventh inn. I shook my head and wondered what that was all about, but quickly moved on. It was probably nothing. Sour Grapes was walking away with Mary when a small, blue pegasus filly walked up to me.

"Why did you do all that for Sour Grapes? You could have just given him the money instead of making him work." She did not seem mad, or even confused. She kept a straight face the whole time.

"I did it so he can learn."

She was definitely confused this time. "I think Sour Grapes went to school, why would he need to learn any more?"

"I am teaching him how to work. If he was given that money right away, he would have just spent it on many months of food, but he would have still been homeless. By doing this, after a month, Sour Grapes will most likely have a full time job, and a place to live. And by teaching him to work, he can get a job pretty much anywhere. Just giving him the money would have made him very happy for a few months, but by doing this, I may make him happy for the rest of his life." The filly nodded in understanding and gave me a smile.

"Oh, that makes sense. That was very nice of you, mister." She fluttered away after my exploitation.

I continued on with my day, simply walking through the town. More and more ponies and humans waved as they saw me walk down the street. I waved back and stopped to chat more than a few times.

My peaceful day was shattered however, as a loud roar pierced the hustle of the small town. Everyone stopped and stared as a large dragon swooped into view.

The residents of the city quickly panicked, and ran away from the dragon as it neared the town. The fifty foot long dragon let out a stream of fire that set the thatched roves of a section of thee city alight. It was a dragon, not a wyvern. Meaning that it had two sets of legs and separate wings, and not one set of legs and conjoined forelegs and wings. It was deep red in color and had a crazed look in its eyes.

The dragon continued to attack the city while the citizens continued to panic. I could feel ponies and humans alike rushing past me. This dragon was attacking my town. Nobody else would come to help us. I needed to stop the dragon's rampage.

I rushed in the opposite direction of the dragon, now aware that the town is mostly empty except for the dragon and I.

"Hey you scaly fuck! Come and get some!" I shouted as I threw a rock at the swooping beast. This got its attention. The dragon stopped charbroiling the town hall and began flying at me. I ran towards the edge of town in hopes of drawing it away from the flammable buildings.

I managed to draw it away from the town before I realized that I had committed a cardinal sin. I left my guns and ammo at home. Mentally kicking myself, I drew my kukri and Ka-Bar. I had no idea of how I was going to fight a dragon with a machete and a knife, but I would make do.

The dragon, however, knew exactly what it was going to do. Before we were out of town, the dragon's fore paws grabbed my by the legs, and it flew towards the sky.

I was not exactly afraid of heights, but being lifted hundreds of feet into the air by a rampaging dragon by my legs was pretty traumatizing. The dragon kept up with its ascent into the ether, and eventually let me go.

Or at least, it tried to. I had dug my knife into one of its wrists, locking my knife into place with a vicious twist. The dragon was thrashing about at this point, trying to pull the object out of its sensitive wrist bones. It let go of me to try and alleviate its pain. I held on to the knife and swung underneath the dragons arm, clinging to the exposed scales on its back. I had made my way to the base of its neck by the time things got interesting.

The dragon managed to dislodge the knife from its appendage. It then tried to dislodge me. Preforming a textbook perfect barrel roll, I barley held on by hooking my feet around the base of its neck. The barrel rolling continued for a while. I could only inch forward to the head a little bit at a time. It really only took a few moments, but it felt like hours. I eventually made it to the beast's head.

"You will all burn!" The dragon roared. We were a mile outside the town limits. The dragon began turning to the town once again.

If I let the dragon go free, it would destroy the town and everyone in it. If I killed it now, I would go down with it. I had no other choice. I did not even hesitate as I thrust the kukri through the back of the dragon's neck.

The result was instantaneous. The dragon went limp and began falling out of the sky with me on it. We were still over a thousand feet in the sky, but falling fast. I knew that this was it. I let go of the dragon and experienced the weightlessness that came with free falling.

'I hope they are alright.' I thought of the citizens of the town I had just saved.

Then the world went dark.

O0o0O

Luna had never seen a dream test quite as spectacular as Gareth's. The dream was a perfect test of a person's character, because the subconscious mind dictates how the dream goes, and because the subconscious cannot lie or hide how its real character, it works perfectly.

He had reacted perfectly to the foreign town, as well as the ponies and humans living together. He had treated the children well enough, and the pyrrhic victory over the dragon was rare, but not unheard of. What fascinated her was how he had handled the beggar. He had sacrificed over three months wages to give the stallion a reason to get off the streets.

The dream started the individual off with a situation they were comfortable with, and in the dream, he owned a large portion of the businesses in the town. He must be very comfortable with businesses and businesses practices. But rather than the shrewd business ponies in Canterlot, who were likely to steal your idea after they had stabbed you in the back, he was more likely to help you start a businesses and make it successful. Luna was confused to the point that she had gone into the dream as a small filly to ask for confirmation on what he had done. This human was an anomaly in every sense of the word.

Not only was Gareth a truly kind individual, but one of the most selfless people that she had ever seen. He was also one of the most savvy businesses wise people she had ever encountered. She and Celestia would need to figure out just what to do with him, as they could not simply just leave him in an unknown environment.

She recast the sleep spell and erased the dream from his memory. Luna and her sister had a lot of work ahead of them.

Luna untied the binding around the human, placed it in his pack, and after checking that neither of them had left anything, levitated the human above her. With a flash, the tree was empty.