“Rarity! Rarity! Come look!” Sweetie Belle tugged at her sister’s mane, trying to drag her over to the toy aisle. Rarity, having long since mastered the art of shopping with her younger sister, hardly flinched, and just continued to hover her household supplies into her cart. “Rarity! You’re not even looking!”
“That’s because I’m pretty confident that I know what it is,” replied Rarity analyzing the advantages of buying Gain™.
“But you didn’t even look at it!” complained Sweetie. Rarity sighed as she put the bottle back. It didn’t provide the lemony freshness that she came to expect.
“Even if I do look at it, I’m sure I won’t be getting it.” Rarity’s unflinching resolve annoyed Sweetie and made her puff out her cheeks.
“Rarity! Why not?!”
“I’m very busy, Sweetie Belle, for one,” explained Rarity. She decided on Tide for her laundry needs, then went on to gather the things she’d need for dinner. “Second, I’m a bit pressed for money at the moment. After the hot sauce situation at the Canterlot Boutique, I cannot afford any more frivolous spending!”
Sweetie Belle knew for a fact that her sister was lying. If Rarity didn’t have money to blow, how come she was buying unimportant things like broccoli? It would just end up in the trash anyway. Besides, Sweetie Belle knew that Rarity had a card that gave her access to what seemed to be infinite bits. As usual, Rarity was just being selfish.
“But… You never let me have anything fun!” complained Sweetie Belle. Rarity nodded in agreement, then, much to Sweetie Belle’s dismay, added a bag of spinach to the cart.
“I let you have a roof over your head,” said Rarity, comparing the nutritional facts of a bottle of pomegranate juice to passion fruit juice. “That can be fun.”
“You never buy me toys or games or anything!” Sweetie Belle tugged on Rarity’s mane one last time, futilely. “Never!”
“Sweetie Belle, if you pull on my hair one more time, I will ground you so hard that you will forget what the sky looks like.” Sweetie Belle begrudgingly released her sister’s mane. “And your birthday was just three months ago. Between Mom, Dad, Pinkie Pie, and myself, you should have plenty of ways to entertain yourself.”
“B-but… That was three months ago!” Rarity moved onto the next aisle she needed, where she picked up some thread and cloth. As soon as she saw Rarity grab her things, Sweetie was infuriated.
“That’s no fair!” squeaked Sweetie. “You get to buy stuff for you but you won’t buy me one toy?!” Rarity turned and glared at her, dropping her items into the cart.
“Sweetie Belle, you are asking me for a toy! This is my job!”
“It’s my job to have fun!” refuted Sweetie Belle. Rarity was getting a little fed up with Sweetie Belle’s persistence. As she continued towards the next aisle to get Opalescence’s food, she realized she started to pass the toy aisle, much to Sweetie Belle’s glee. “Ooh! It’s right down here! Please, can you at least look at it?”
“You are lucky that Opal’s food is closer to that end of the next aisle,” said Rarity as she turned her cart. Sweetie Belle ran ahead of her, stopping in front of the toy she wanted.
It was a full karaoke machine, complete with a large screen TV, a few microphones, and a small booth. Rarity could help but double-take at the price.
“It’s only 12 bits!” said Sweetie, pointing towards the small plastic tag on the edge of the booth. “Can’t you spend 12 bits on your favoritest sister in all of Equestria?”
“That’s 1,200, darling,” said Rarity, making Sweetie Belle twist her face in confusion. “I love you, of course, but not that much.”
“Aw…” whined Sweetie Belle, dragging behind Rarity as she moved on. Her dream to own a karaoke machine would never be recognized.
Then, somewhere in the deep fold of Sweetie Belle’s brain, an idea formed. Something so amazing and spectacular that it would solve all of her problems.
If Rarity wouldn’t get her the toy with her card of infinite bits, Sweetie Belle would have to make her own.
“Ah’m not sure that’s how that works Sweetie Belle.”
Sweetie Belle was certain that all she had to do in order to get what she wanted was to write her name on a card. So, she’d gotten herself a small piece of cardboard and cut a crude, but kinda rectangular, shape. Then, in black marker, she wrote “Sweetie Belle” over the front. It was perfect.
“Why not?” asked Sweetie Belle in confusion. She’d looked at her card and back at her friends Scootaloo and Applebloom. “Whenever Rarity uses her magic money card, it lets her pay for whatever she wants. It’s only fair that I should get one too.”
“Don’t you think that if that’s how it worked, then we would have heard of it already?” asked Scootaloo. “I don’t even think Rainbow Dash has heard of that. She pays for all her stuff in bits, the awesome way.”
“Y’all think anything Rainbow Dash does is awesome,” said Applebloom.
“Yeah, cause it is,” retorted Scootaloo.
“Guys!” called Sweetie Belle, bringing the attention back to her. “The point is, I found a hole in the system! I’m going to the store and getting myself a new karaoke machine.”
“That’s what you want?” asked Scootaloo. “That’s so uncool.”
“Nu-uh!” said Sweetie. “Just you watch! I’m gonna get it and put it in here. Then you’ll see how awesome it is.” Without another word, Sweetie Belle rushed out of the clubhouse and made it halfway to the store before realizing she’d left the card at the clubhouse. On her way back, she spotted her sister walking about the streets. As she spied (although she swears she was just looking out the corner of her eye) on her sister, she saw her walk into the spa. Curious, Sweetie Belle walked up to the giant window and looked through.
She saw Rarity handing over her card to one of the spa ponies, who seemed to lead her to one of the comfy looking chairs. Rarity arched her back and seemed super relaxed. Sweetie Belle, on the other hand, was very upset. How could Rarity say she had no money for Sweetie, but have enough to get a massage and a hoof-rub?! Sweetie Belle shook her head and started back off towards the clubhouse.
She would show Rarity that she didn’t need her magic money card. She had one of her own!
It took the Crusaders about thirty minutes to get the karaoke machine off of the shelf. When they did, they had to lug it to the front. This gave Sweetie and her friends plenty of time to talk about what they intended to do.
“Sweetie, sumthin bout this just don’t feel right tah me,” said Applebloom who brought up the middle. She was the strongest of the three. “Maybe this is one of them spells that we can’t use cause it’s dangerous.”
“Oh come on, Applebloom,” said Scootaloo, slowly pushing on from the back. “Danger is my middle name!”
“You don’t have a middle name,” Applebloom corrected her. Sweetie Belle continued on, moving the large booth as fast as she could. She was so giddy to be able to finally buy something with her magic money card that she could barely hold in the squeaks.
“Just think about it, Applebloom! We’ll be able to buy anything we want!” said Sweetie Belle, pushing her magic to the limits in an attempt to move the box. “I wish we would’ve thought of this back when Diamond Tiara was still a jerk. We could’ve shut her up ages ago.”
“Ah still don’t feel right bout this,” grumbled Applebloom. Any other complaints she had wouldn’t be voiced as they approached the cashier. She was an Earth Pony, with a cream coat and light red hair and eyes. She stared down at the three foals and put on a nervous smile.
“Um… can I help you?” she asked. Applebloom let it down off of her her back and Scootaloo joined us.
“We’d like to buy this please.” said Sweetie Belle, giving the mare a toothy smile.
“Um, where are your parents?” asked the cashier. “Are you sure you want to buy this?”
“It’s okay! We can pay for it!” pressed Sweetie. The cashier rolled her eyes, and extended her hoof.
“That will be 1,200 bits.” Scootaloo and Applebloom watched as Sweetie Belle hoofed over the magic money card to the cashier. She looked at the card Sweetie Belle gave her with an eyebrow raised, then back at the three foals. She returned an apologetic smile. “I’ll… be right back.” The mare got down from her stand and walked to the back of the store, leaving the girls there to wait.
“See girls,” said Sweetie Belle. “I told you we’d be able to get it with the magic money card!”
“Ah guess you were right, Sweetie,” said Applebloom. “Do you know what that means!?”
“We could buy the whole world with this card!” said Scootaloo hyped up. “Sweetie Belle, you are a genius!”
“I try,” she responded, smiling modestly. She was quite pleased with herself. “But we should really get my card back. Then we can celebrate all day!”
It took about half an hour for the hype they all felt to die down. They were all getting tired of just standing around, doing nothing while waiting for the cashier to come back. After pacing back and forth for a few minutes in her boredom, Sweetie Belle turned her eyes to the ceiling.
“I can’t take it anymore!” said Sweetie. “She should’ve been out here already!”
“Patience, Sweetie,” said Applebloom. “Maybe she just forgot to do whatever it was she was gonna do.”
“But we’ve been waiting forever,” retorted Sweetie Belle. Then, the thought crossed her mind. “Oh. Girls, we’ve been waiting for nothing!”
“Really?” asked Scootaloo. “I coulda been on my scooter by now?”
“Yeah! I mean, we already paid, right? The cashier must be getting the money! Forget the card, we can just make another one.” Applebloom and Scootaloo thought for a moment, then nodded their heads.
“Yeah, that’s probably it!” Scootaloo went to the back of the booth and picked up the rear. Applebloom went underneath it in the middle and Sweetie Belle weakly lifted the front off of the ground. They slowly made their way to the door.
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
The Crusaders froze, petrified by the sudden blare of the store’s alarm. They shared a quick glance, none of them knowing exactly what to do.
“Uh… What do we do now?” asked Applebloom.
“Aren’t you supposed to be the leader of the group?!” snapped Scootaloo.
“We never agreed on that. Ah’m runnin’ blind on this one.”
“Just keep going,” said Sweetie Belle confidently. She pushed forward, struggling to lug the massive machine on her back. “It’s probably just on the fritz or something. C’mon, let’s go!”
The girls kicked their tiny little legs into overdrive, dragging the karaoke machine as fast as they could. All Sweetie could think of was how much fun it would be to set it up in the clubhouse and invite all of their friends over. She didn’t much consider how she would get it up to the clubhouse, and power would certainly be an issue, not to mention the fact that the machine’s sheer weight would probably cause the tree to collapse. None of that mattered to Sweetie. All that mattered was that, for once, she had outsmarted her sister. She had won.
“How long have we been walking?” asked Scootaloo. Sweat dripped from her forehead, and it felt as if she would keel over at any given moment. One look at Applebloom and Sweetie confirmed that they were in a bad way themselves.
“Thirty… minutes…” breathed Applebloom, her legs barely holding under the weight of the machine.
“We’re almost there,” panted Sweetie. “Right?” She looked over her shoulder.
The three had made it about six feet from the door.
“Oh, darn,” Sweetie muttered. Suddenly, the weight of the box lifted from the girls, at which point the three fillies took the time to collapse onto the ground. After a few painful moments of laying, aching on the dirt, Sweetie Belle looked up to see a fully-uniformed police officer, who lowered his shades to peered at the three tired fillies.
“Howdy, officer,” said Applebloom. “What can we do ya fer?”
“You girls tried to walk out with that karaoke machine?” asked the officer.
“Uh… Yes?” said Sweetie nervously. The officer nodded.
“Yeah… You three are going to have to come with me.”
Scootaloo slunk backward a bit, then jumped to her hooves and bolted in the opposite direction, running as quickly as she could.
“Sorry, girls!” shouted Scootaloo. “I’ve got priors!” Scootaloo was so preoccupied with running that she didn’t notice that she was running directly into a second officer. The second officer, this one a mare, quickly slapped a pair of cuffs onto Scootaloo’s hooves.
“You’re under arrest for felony theft and attempted credit card fraud,” said the male cop. “You have the right to remain silent.”
“And that’s how we got arrested for credit card fraud,” said Sweetie Belle. Rarity banged her head against the table, just as she had for the duration of Sweetie’s story. Scootaloo and Applebloom had already been collected by Rainbow Dash and Applejack, respectively. This left Sweetie Belle alone in the holding cell while Rarity talked to the police, talked to her, and, most importantly, posted bail.
“So, explain to me exactly what you tried to pay with,” said Rarity, weaving her sentence with the dull thunk of her head against the steel table.
“A magic money card,” said Sweetie Belle. “Just like what you paid for groceries with. But that officer kept saying ‘credit card’. What’s that?”
“Sweetie Belle… It doesn’t work like that,” groaned Rarity. “It just doesn’t. I can’t just swipe a card and have money magically pour from nowhere.”
“Well, there’s a bunch of other magic stuff in Equestria that lets you pour stuff out of nowhere,” said Sweetie Belle, shrugging. “Why can’t you do it with money?”
“The laws of scarcity, but I’m not going to explain basic economics right now.” Rarity peeled her face from the table. “Sweetie, darling, I have to pay for everything I use my credit card on. I get bills every month for it.”
Sweetie Belle tilted her head, trying to wrap her mind around what Rarity was saying. Try as she might, the pieces just didn’t fit together.
“Well, that’s dumb,” said Sweetie. “What’s the point of infinite money if you have to pay for it?”
Rarity banged her head against the table again.
“Sweetie, you’re grounded.”
Author's Note
Hope you guys enjoyed this story, and be sure to tell me what you did or didn't enjoy about it. I need to know how to make these stories better. I appreciate it.
Also, give it up for Prince Conjure, without whom, this insanity would have never come to pass (seriously, this story wouldn't have been more than idea in my head if it weren't for him) Thanks, buddy!
