Everyone has secrets. From the rulers of nations or forces unknown, to the most innocent of people, or creatures. For whatever reason I come across as a good listener, and I guess I am, but people have always felt comfortable unloading all of their problems or secrets on me. Ever since I was young and could hold a conversation, people I barely knew would pull me aside or ask to talk only to depress me with whatever was going on in their personal lives. In the beginning I thought these people were my friends after the discussions we’d have and I would go to them for help or to talk about my own problems, but that wasn’t the case. They were simply using me to make themselves feel better and would never lend their own ears. So I grew up with a rather depressing view of the world, I’ll admit that; thinking that people looked out for nothing but themselves and their interests. But suddenly, things changed.

When I ended up in this strange place called Equestria, I thought things would be different. The creatures called ponies seemed to be so much nicer than the humans I knew and they actually seemed to care about me, but the façade quickly fell. Within a week of being here, after meeting all the townsfolk and having a welcome party, I was quickly forgotten and left without anyway of keeping myself alive. That’s what I thought then. Seeing as how easily approachable as I was and how great of a listener I seemed to be, I started to charge the ponies for my time. I quickly earned enough money to move into a loft in downtown Canterlot that doubled as my office.

Equestria’s first therapist is what I became; a therapist that only listened and never offered solutions. That’s not what anyone wants anyway; my opinion isn’t valuable, just my ears. That’s fine though, as I’m the furthest thing from a doctor anyway, but it’s been difficult. Despite how innocent these ponies seem to be, some of them have the worst secrets I’ve ever heard, and I just can’t keep them to myself. I’ve only been here for about 2 months and the things I’ve heard so far are a little more than shocking. So, I’ve decided to keep a log of the sessions I have just to remove the horrible things I hear from my mind. I tried doing this when I was still on Earth, but it didn’t stick, not that it mattered. Human problems and secrets have nothing on pony secrets and problems. While these creatures and I may share a common language and certain mannerisms, they certainly aren’t human and this world certainly isn’t the one I know. The fact that they are still governed by not one, but two matriarchs would leave one to believe they still live in the dark ages, but their magic has helped their advancement. Two-thirds of the population is female, so practically all of the gender roles are swapped and I frequently have trouble remembering this.

Their society has a very clear yet ignored caste system. While there are three distinct races of ponies, if you don’t count the princesses, and each has their own advantage over the other two, the unicorns seem to have the most privilege because of their command over magic. Pegasi are just below them, and the ironically named “earth ponies,” below them. But the lowest of them all are the males of any of the three, making them my primary customers, or should I say patients? While their problems are terrible and clearly unfair, they are not nearly as dire as others I’ve heard.

Adjusting has been difficult to say the least. The complete lack of anything resembling convenience is aggravating since I can’t use magic, so I’m forced to do everything manually and by hand. Writing this is no different. Jesus, my handwriting is terrible. I digress. Their economy seems to be mostly based on a bartering system, though this is most prevalent in smaller settlements and not the city. It’s interesting to note that despite the swapped gender-roles, stallions run most of the businesses in the city, so I’m assured to get better deals on things if I sympathize with them. It’s only on this level that I’ve made the closest thing to friends.

On the subject of friends, the idea of friendship seems to be a magical force of some kind. The authority on that, who happens to be a princess and “element,” is Twilight Sparkle. She filled me in on the concept when I first arrived, and I couldn’t help but laugh in her face. If friendship was such a powerful force, why hasn’t it worked on me? But again, I digress. Magic is nothing but real in this world and I unfortunately can’t control it; no surprise there. The real surprise was finding out no one has any idea how I got here and have all but assured me I can’t go home. Am I upset? Not really. I was miserable back on Earth, so I’ll just keep on being miserable here and make a little money off of it. Twilight Sparkle said she would try and find a way for me to return home, but I’m sure she forgot about that and hasn’t even noticed I’ve left town. That’s a good thing though; during that first week she tried desperately to lure me into her lab and perform experiments on me, but another pony who was also one of these “elements” warned about as much so I’m grateful towards the mare whose name I don’t remember.

One thing I do remember though, is that I’m the only and first human to arrive here. It’s because of this that I was supposed to be visited by the princesses, but I’m sure Twilight Sparkle forgot to tell them about me after she forgot about me. If she hasn’t, I expect they’ll show up at my door eventually, but with what intentions, I’m not sure. I’ve yet to see any acts of violence in this world, but I hope I haven’t made a reason for there to be any against me. In any case, I have an appointment in a few minutes so I should prepare. I just hope it doesn’t need to be written down.

Author's Note

Trying out something different with this story. Each chapter will hopefully be a one-shot, but the characters may show up again later. Lemme know what you think when I get the actual first chapter out.