The Therapist

So while this isn’t a scheduled session, it was a waste of my time and brain space, so I’ll write it down. I awoke on a Saturday morning to the sound of knocking at my door. Slowly dragging myself out of bed, I yawned my way over to it where the knocking hadn’t stopped and only got louder.

“Who the hell is it?” I asked as I opened the door.

“*Gasp* It is you!” a familiar voice exclaimed before I was knocked down to the floor.

“Goddamnit,” I groaned as I cradled the back of my head, “what the-oh. It’s you.”

“I’m so glad I finally found you!” Princess Twilight Sparkle exclaimed as she nuzzled my chest, “I was so worried when you suddenly disappeared!”

“I’m sure,” I said as I grabbed her by the scruff and pulled her off of me, “and it only took you two months to find out I moved a few miles away.”

“If you left a note or something, I would have come sooner,” she said as I stood up and dusted myself off.

“Well, maybe there was a reason I didn’t,” I said as I headed back to bed, “now, it’d be real friendly of you to leave so I can go back to sleep.”

“Sleep? It’s after ten.”

“Yeah, well some humans need a minimum of ten hours of sleep on Saturdays,” I replied as I got back in bed.

“Really?” she mumbled as I heard the familiar sound of a scribbling quill and tingle of magic. As I lay there trying to go back to sleep I could feel my bed shift, making me crack an eye open and see the princess sitting at the foot of my bed starring at me with her big eyes.

“…What are you doing?”

“Observing.” With a heavy sigh, I got out of bed, grabbed the princess, and carried her to the door.

“Where are we going?” she asked as I opened the door, “You’re not wearing all of your clothes like usual.”

“I’m going back to bed,” I answered a I set her down outside, “you’re going home.”

“I don’t want to go home!”

“Then go to the castle or your parent’s house, I don’t care! You’re not staying here and watching me sleep!”

“…W-what if I pay you?” she offered as she pulled out a big bag of bits. The giant bag of money was extremely temping, but seeing as it was the weekend and my weeks are always rough, I declined.

“Come back during the week,” I sighed, “I might be in the mood to deal with you then.”

“How does Friday sound?” she asked with a huge smile.

“…Fine, but-”

“All of Friday, I mean.”

“…I guess that’s fine.”

“Yay!” she exclaimed as she nuzzled my bare stomach before turning and leaving, “See you then!”

“…I’m not looking forward to it…”