The Pony of Smiles

This is so boring! I thought as we trudged along the path of crushed bushes between the trees. I mean I should be worried about everypony but all this walking is just so boring. Swifty keeps avoiding my attempts to talk to her. Her smile is gone now and it’s my job to bring it back!

“Hey, hey Swifty do you remember that time we tried to build a catapult and it ended up flying across town?” I asked while bouncing beside her.

“Sanguine, this isn’t the time for that. Keep walking.” She chastised me like every other time I tried to make conversation.

Hours passed as we continued to walk east. One view blurred into another as we passed tree after tree. When the sun began to set we finally stopped and Swifty sent me off to make a fire. Looking around I found a few dry sticks that would be absolutely perfect.

Hey! Now that we have stopped maybe I can finally help Swifty smile. She can’t tell me off now!

While I thought this I heard a crack from in front of me. Knowing Swifty was back in the other direction I hid behind the closest tree. When I heard another crack I froze for a moment, I just knew that somepony else was out here and maybe it was one of the villagers. Maybe somepony had escaped! I slowly crept forward, one slow step in front of another.

When I heard a low muttering voice I froze again. Up ahead was somepony I had been really hoping not to see again. It was the stallion I had seen from outside town, his body was covered in thick, roughly sewn barding, like Swifty’s but much lower quality and brown with splatters of red covering it. Underneath the barding was a coat of dark gray while his mane was a two tone blue.

I backed up a step, not wanting to alert the raider but when I stood on a stick a sharp crack echoed out around me.

“Who's there? Ugh did one of those damn villagers slip away? The boss will gut me if I let anypony get away.” A deep voice came from the stallion and I squeaked in fear.

Immediately the stallion rushed in my direction, picking me up in his magic and forcing me against a tree. The force knocked the breath from my lungs and cut off my screams.

“So what will I do with you? Such a cute little mare deserves some special attention.” The stallion breathed out, his words coating me in fear while his putrid breath brought bile to my throat.

“Don’t-Don’t hurt me please.” I sqeaked with what little breath I could get back.

“Ohh don’t worry, I’ll be very good to you my dear.”

No no no no no!

Sanguine, I can get you out of this. Just let me take over and you’ll be safe. I heard the voice of Vengeance speak to me in my head.

How? You’re just a voice in my head. I thought, trying to block out the stallion as he held me against the tree and looked over my body.

No. I’m a part of you, probably one you would never like to admit exists. Just say yes and I’ll save you. Vengeance whispered in his gravelly voice.

Alright! Please help me! I thought in desperation and fear.

You have to say it! Say it now!

No don’t! I heard quietly behind Vengeance’s voice.

I took in the largest breath I could and screamed. “Vengeance, help me!”

The moment the words left my mouth my vision started to go dark and the last thing I saw was a look of fear in the stallion's eyes as a growl broke forth from my mouth. “Now it’s my turn.”

“Solly! SOLLY! Wake up!”

I woke up to a voice screaming in my ears and tried to answer her but my throat was in too much pain, like I hadn’t drank water in days. I opened my eyes to find Swifty looking at me, with worry and fear on her face. When I looked at her she stepped back, the fearful look growing further.

“Solly, is that you?” She asked slowly.

Unable to speak I nodded and pointed to my mouth, miming drinking. As I nodded her face brightened for a moment before she floated a canteen over to me from her saddlebags.

“Oh I am so glad you are back, when I heard you scream I galloped over as fast as I-” She said before freezing mid sentence.

Taking the canteen in my magic I drank as much as I could before looking back at my friend. She looked scared again.

“Wha-What happened Swifty? I remember looking for firewood and then waking up with you screaming at me.” I said with a raspy voice.

“You mean you don’t know what happened?”

“I have no idea Swifty. Why are you so scared? Is there anything I can do to help?” I asked, worried for my best friend.

“Solly I think I have some things to tell you. I was searching for something for us to eat and drink, after finding a small stream to collect some water for us I heard you scream. When I made it to you though I found you fighting with an armored unicorn. Solly, you were choking him up against a tree! I tried to stop you and you pushed me away and when you looked at me there was so much hate in your eyes. When you saw it was me you growled at me to back off and went back to choking the stallion, asking him how he liked to be choked. It was just like what we saw back in town. You tortured him Solly, and after he told us where his boss was you broke his neck and threw his body into a tree.” Swifty said while crying. With every word she spoke I felt colder, like her words were sucking all the warmth out of my body.

“I-I, How? Why would I do this?” I asked while the water I just drank threatened to escape my throat.

“I believe I can answer that Ms Sanguine.” The warm voice of Goodwill came out of my mouth.

“Goodwill? What do you know about this?” I rasped.

“Well I should start by explaining a few things. It would seem that although we do not hold physical bodies our consciousness cannot remain active all the time. So we require a rest every now and then, in a similar manner to how you need to sleep. I regrettably was resting while you searched for firewood and met the unicorn stallion Ms Swift mentioned. When the unicorn reacted to your presence you froze and were unable to react or protect yourself. In that moment Vengeance offered you a choice, let him take control or suffer whatever your assailant had planned for you. By this time I was only beginning to wake from my rest, I tried to warn you but by the time I could reach you it was too late. Vengeance had taken control of your body and you lost consciousness.” Goodwill explained.

As they explained what had happened the memories began flashing back, being choked against a tree, Vengeance talking in my head, me screaming for her help, the torture. When the memory of what Vengeance had done while controlling me I felt something for a moment, a sick thrill that filled my mind when the memory of snapping the stallion’s neck hit me. As soon as the thrill left I immediately felt my stomach tense and everything was violently ejected. I collapsed as my mind and body was overwhelmed. I was disgusted at myself for feeling so good for killing another pony.

I felt Swifty wrap her hooves around me but it was only on the edge of my mind as that memory replayed over and over again in my head. I could distinctly hear the snap and see the moment the light felt the stallion’s eyes. Again it filled me with equal parts pleasure and disgust, the two feelings at war inside of me.

Pain lanced through my senses and the thoughts stopped for a moment. I opened my eyes to see Swifty in front of me, her hoof still raised.

“Solly, listen to me right now.” She said forcefully. “That wasn’t you that did those things, it was Vengeance ok? I know you Solly and I know you would never do something like that. Now please stand up. Night is falling and we need to get back to the path.”

Trying to push the thoughts out of my mind I slowly stood up, falling a couple of times before I could completely make it to my hooves. I looked up at Swifty, seeing half a smile on her face.

“O-Ok Swifty. L-Le-Let’s go.” I stammered, trying to walk. Swifty stood by my side and every few steps I would fall slightly. She would then push up against me, keeping me upright.

When we made it back to the path night had fallen. Swifty had collected as much dry wood as she could with her magic as we walked and before long she had a small fire going. She gave me the canteen again and I drank deeply before she levitated a few flowers over to me. They were probably delicious as most wild flowers were but I could barely taste them. Each felt like ash in my mouth as I could only think of the things I had done. Swifty had said that it wasn’t my fault but I let Vengeance take over, I gave him the ability to do those things with my body. If it wasn’t for me that stallion would still be alive. He may have been a raider but he was also a living pony and nopony deserves what happened to him, even if he had done to same to others. Killing was never the answer. But what hurt the most was how pleasurable it felt living the memories of killing him.

I had never felt anything like that in my life, the power rush of taking a life. It consumed my thoughts even as the disgust came to fight against it. I hate it and I love it. Thoughts of how I had to live with what I had done fought with how much I wanted to feel it again.

Swifty can never know this, she would hate me. I’m meant to be to the always happy pony, The Pony of Smiles. The pony who could make an entire town smile with just her presence. And we have to go save what’s left of our town.

We might get to break some more necks when we save them. Vengeance whispered to me.

Ms Sanguine, these thoughts are not good. You must fight them. Don't let Vengeance win! Goodwill argued.

I-I’m not sure if I can. It felt so good and so bad. How do I live with what I’ve done? I asked in my mind.

You need to focus on the good you have done. You’ve already done amazing things in your life. Even after the fall of the element bearers you were the one who kept the towns spirits high, nopony else could have done that. You’re special, you’re strong and you can beat this. Goodwill answered warmly.

Buck that, let’s just find the bucking raiders that took everypony and kill them all! Vengeance growled.

“Enough!” I screamed out loud. Swifty jumped back, her bow lifted in her magic and eyes scanning around us.

“Solly, what’s wrong?” Swifty asked with fear in her eyes.

“I’m sorry Swifty, I was fighting with Goodwill and Vengeance.” I explained to her.

“Umm ok? But you weren’t talking until you yelled.”

“Yeah… I think they can speak inside my head now.” I said while looking down at my hooves.

“Tha-That’s weird Solly. Like really weird.”

“I don’t really feel like talking about it. Can we just get some sleep?” I answered, not waiting for an answer and laying down in the grass.

“Sure, goodnight Solly. Sweet dreams” I heard Swifty whisper before going quiet.

My eyes open and I am in a large room made of dark stone. Guards line the walls in crimson armor and a line of ponies stand before me, the back of the line was far beyond the black metal doors on the other side of the room. The entire room was lit by bright red lanterns, giving everything a bloody hue.

I watched as a pony was ushered forward by a guard that stood at the front of the line. The pony stumbled for a moment before looking up at me with fear etched on his features. I looked down at a long list that trained down to the floor. On the parchment was a name and the word traitor next to it. As I looked I also saw where I was sitting. My silver fur was a stark contrast to the black throne I sat on, looking further I saw that the thrones sat upon a hill made of pony skulls. Each one was stripped of flesh and yet parts of them were stained a deep blood red.

I sat upon my throne of death and looked back over at the pony that stood before me visibly quivering. Against my will my mouth opened and a voice that was almost a growl came from it.

“Solid Shield, you stand accused of being a traitor to the Crimson Crown. What do you plead?” My voice growled.

The pegasus mare before me shook before snapping still and looking at me with hate in her eyes. “I am not your subject, you have no right to accuse me of any crimes.” She stated.

“It would appear that you don’t wish to follow me. I cannot abide to have somepony in my realm with such distinct stupidity. Guards, put her to death.” My voice growled out again before the lead guard lit his horn.

Purple light shot out from the guard's horn which enveloped the mare. For a moment a scream was heard until a loud bang shook the walls of the large room. When the magical aura disappeared nothing but a cloud of dust stood in place of the pegasus and a pair of unicorns came forward to brush it away before disappearing.

Pleasure ran through my mind as I watched the dark spectacle and I knew it was about to happen again when another pony walked up to the front of the line.

Suddenly a loud crack burst through the room and bright light filled it.

“ENOUGH!” A voice shouted.

The pony in front of the line had transformed into a dark blue alicorn who stood there glaring around the room. Everywhere she looked the dream changed, the dark stone walls turned into bright white marble, the guards looked nicer in their gold and purple armor and the line of ponies had shrunk to two happy pegasi who looked excitedly up towards me. Finally the alicorns sight moved to me, the pleasure I had felt turned into disgust and I felt myself gaining control of my body again. When I looked around I saw that the hill of skulls had turned into white marble stairs and the throne was made out of a blue stone lined with gold.

“It would appear that your dreams are quite tortured my little pony. I am glad I had the power to fix it. Not many ponies believe in my sister and I enough to allow me to enter their dreams anymore.” A calming voice spoke to me from the blue alicorn.

“Princess Luna! Thank you for coming. That dream was so horrible!” I said before galloping over to her.

She moved forward to wrap a wing around me and I sighed in the warm embrace.

“What could have caused such horrible dreams though, you seem like such a nice little mare.” She asked.

“Things have gotten bad your majesty, ponies attacked my village and took nearly everypony away. I was found by one of them while we tried to follow and I killed him.” I said while crying into her wing.

“I am so sorry you had to do that, none should be forced to take another's life but that is the world we live in today.” She froze before continuing. “I must apologize again my little pony, it would appear my time in this dream is short. I will however ensure that the rest of your dreams are calm. Sweet dreams.”

Luna pressed her horn against my head and the room became Hollow Shades, with everypony waving to me.

“Thank you Princess, I’m Sanguine Soul by the way.”

“I know Ms Soul, may your rest be peaceful.”

With that the alicorn disappeared and my dream was good.