Everything Seems to Revolve Around Equestria! (Parts 1 and 2 of the PVZBrony Saga)

I’m sitting down on the couch at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza with Bonnie in the backstage, when I hear the doorbell ring. “Strange, I didn’t think this place had a doorbell.”, I comment to Bonnie.

“Oh, it’s for the mail carriers.”, Bonnie tells me. I open the door.

“What is it, Derpy?”, I grumble.

“I’ve got a package for Mr. Jakob Draconstreit.”, Derpy says. “

Oh! That’s me!”, I say. She hands me a package.

“Well, I’ve got some more mail to deliver!”, Derpy cheerfully says before flying off. I take the package back to the living room.

“Who’s the package from, Jakob?”, Bonnie asks me.

“I dunno. Maybe it’s a secret admirer.”, I tease her. Bonnie blushes.

“Well, you’d better open it!!”, Bonnie says.

“Cue the Zelda item theme, Vinyl!”, I say as I open up the package.

“You got the Yanderenomicon!! This book can summon cute girl servants who will do your every bidding!!”, the text box says.

“There’s also a note.”, Bonnie comments. It’s from PVZBrony and Ethan, blah blah, telling me to use the book responsibly and all that shiz. Bonnie leafs through it.

“Jakob... are you going to ditch me for the girls depicted in this book?”, Bonnie asks me, a tone of worry in her voice.

“Meh.... nah. I don’t really care about Japanese anime-quality girls.”, I tell her. She hugs me. I put the book on the shelf, with a sticky note on it saying: “ONLY USE IN CASE OF EMERGENCY OR EXTREME LAZINESS.”