Fluttershys secret

She blinked and found herself face to face with a crowd which had seemingly materialized out of nowhere in particular.

A crowd of ten thousand, maybe more.

Each one looked at her with a look of absolute disgust and loathing and each one was screaming hysterics, far too unintelligible and bizarre to be fathomed or understood.

Cold sweat dripped from her forehead in neat rivulets, and her limbs began to convulse and shudder as she saw that each and every one in the crowd had no face.

Their faces, were hidden, concealed behind masks that depicted a toddlers drawing of Rainbow Dash's face.

Their voices were that of Rainbow Dash's though she could not fathom a word of their endless chatter.

Their voices, smashed against her eardrums like bullets against glass.

"Make it stop" she yelled, her voice much higher for some inexplicable reason "make it stop".

At this, the crowd burst into a condescending, mocking laughter in a softer voice than before, but equally as grating.

"Just what did we do to you" came a barely audible whisper from the crowd, still in Rainbow Dash's disgusting voice  "just why do you detest us so. Just how have we wronged you in any way. You fucker".

At this, the bonds that held Fluttershy back from her rage which had only grown since the day she laid eyes on the hellish abomination she knew of as "Dash", shattered.

No longer able to conceal and pretend not to feel, no longer able to control her growing rage. She snapped and in a broken yet loud voice strong enough to shatter bone she began to cry out.

"You bastard. You selfish, evil sadistic bastard. Having the nerve to pretend you like me and that you care about me, when you're the one who ruined my life and crushed my dreams one by one".

"We didn't ruin your pointless life, you ruined it yourself" replied the man, his sadistic smile obscurely hidden behind the mask he wore in a poor attempt to impersonate Rainbow Dash. And the crowd began to boo and hiss. "And it wasn't me who bullied you".

"It was..." whispered Fluttershy "it FUCKING WAS!!!.

"How?" purred the man in the Rainbow Dash mask, in the voice of Rainbow Dash.

"Forgive me for my language" sighed Fluttershy in a mock mild voice "When I say it was YOU Rainbow Dash who sent those fucking bullies to fucking torture me".

"See that's how bad you are Rainbow Dash. You can't even do your own dirty work. Too scared you'll be caught in the act I guess."

"Thats not true" cooed the man, his gently voice failing to conceal the offense he took to Fluttershy's crushing scolding.

"Every bad thing that's happened to me in my life" shouted Fluttershy as tears blurred her vision "was your fault. Every single bad thing that happened to me. All your fault. Your fault".

"I could have sang on stage a long time ago, but you sent Pinkie to ruin it all for me (and no, I don't blame Pinkie, I blame you)"

"I could have stopped being this shy so very long ago and finally been able to assert myself too, but you sent Iron Will to screw that up for me too"

"I could have been an athlete in the school team, and part of the wonderbolts too. Just how I would have loved that. But you sent those bullies to stop me ever reaching that dream".

"Its not just my life you've messed up either. Derpy was never the same after you smacked her in the head with that crowbar. . And then she failed all her exams and dropped from A star to F minus. Poor Derpy".

"Now Lightening Dust will rot in jail for the rest of her life too. Poor Lightening, caught in the dock of a crime she knew nothing about. And then you hired the most incompetent lawyer you could find, so Lightening would get all the blame while you got none. And you know what?, Spitfire actually rewarded you even though it was all your fault."

"Poor Zecora" sighed Fluttershy wistfully "Forever destined to walk this land an outcast simply because of the stupid rumors which you spread behind her back. She treated your incurable illness which you would have died from, and that was how you repaid her. I see"

"Applebloom... never able to find her talent or her purpose in life. I know what you're going to say, it was Diamond's fault and not yours. Well here's what I have to say. Diamond tiara was innocent. She only did what you forced her to because if she didn't then you would have murdered her and her parents wouldn't have cared. How low of you".

"Tirek, Sombra, Chrysallis...all dangerous people  you let out of jail to aid you in your conquest to cleanse all happiness and joy from this bleak and miserable world"

The man said nothing, but only burst into laughter which once again came out in the voice of Rainbow Dash.

"I've said enough" yelled Fluttershy angrily. "I've had enough of your lies!"

She lunged forward and punched the man. And found herself punching air instead.

She glanced around only to find she was alone once more in the alley.

She rubbed her head before pulling herself together and continuing on her way.

"So now you know why I hate him" she whispered to no one in particular "Now you know why he doesn't deserve liking and only disgust".

"That felt good" she admitted to herself, smiling gently for the first time in a long time.

"That felt, cathartic".

And for the first time in her life, broke the cycle of sadness.

She turned and left for home. But before she took another step, after glancing to check she was not being watched, she pulled her pistol out of her jacket pocket, aimed it at a window and fired a series of shots. The shots ripped into the glass and blew it apart with ease, and Fluttershy watched with a guilty pleasure as fragments of jagged glass flew from the now broken window and landed on the pavement.

She checked once more that no one heard the scuffle, before dashing home.

Having locked the door, barricaded the door and boarded up the windows, she pulled a large kitchen knife and began sharpening it against an already scratched wall.

She continued to slash the knife repeatedly against the wall for several minutes, giggling uncontrollably as she did so.

Then she turned the knife on herself and slashed herself hard across her arm. The pain coursed through her veins and she cried out in agony.

"It hurts Fluttershy. It hurts. Make it stop, have mercy" she cried out, making a poor attempt to imitate Rainbow Dash's voice.

"Oh I'm sorry Dashie" she sneered, speaking in her own voice once more "Of course I'll show you the mercy you so richly deserve. None. You deserve none."

She slowly climbed into bed and pulled her duvet over herself. "As a good friend Dash. I humbly vow to end your suffering as soon as I can" she vowed as she fired several more bullets onto a dartboard she pinned onto her bedroom wall.

And as sleep gradually washed over our humble and depressed heroine, she turned her attention to a photo of her and Twilight on the day they met.

"Don't worry Twilight" she whispered "Soon I'll be able to trust you again. Soon we we'll be able to play together like actual friends. Soon".

And she fell asleep, and for once in her life, lay still and smiling as she slept.

Soon her depression would be gone.

Soon her life would be one of happiness and joy. She wouldn't need much to live happily in the Utopian world she would soon bring into existence. And the grateful world would sing her praises and embellish her to the end of time, she would finally be liked and accepted and best of all, the bullies who had tormented her for who knew how long would finally leave her in the peace she so badly desired.

The world would be a happy place. A happy, happy place.

Like sugar spice and everything nice.

It was a shame that he would not be part of that utopia. A real shame. A very real shame.

If only he realized how wrong he was. If only.

But there was still a shadow of hope for him, thin as it was.

And it began with him admitting his gender and toning down his bragging. But he'd never do that.

She could not trust him. Not when he could not be honest about even his gender.