Detective Bloom & the Discarded Diamond
It was a cold mornin’ when Ah walked back home from Zecora’s. Ah was daydreamin’ just a bit, and missed a turn. Last pony Ah was expectin’ to bump into was Diamond Tiara, ‘specially in the Everfree. She don’t exactly like gettin' her hooves all dirty, ya know. Ah almost got mad when she didn’t say hello.
Then Ah figured, kinda hard to talk when yer dead.
Ah ran fast as Ah could to Sweet Apple Acres, got Applejack, and she got the police real quick. Don’t think Ah ever saw ‘er gallop that hard. Wasn’t too long ‘til Twilight showed up and one of the officers told ‘er what they found.
“Everything here has the stamp of a Changeling attack, Princess Twilight. We’ve gotten a few reports of them happening in the Crystal Empire, but we never imagined that they would come this far. Judging from the wounds, she was repeatedly struck against the side of her head, most likely with a hoof from the shape of the bruises, before the Changeling latched onto her neck.”
Twi was almost hysterical by then. “But why would a Changeling do this? It doesn’t make sense! They’re deceptive, not brutal!”
“From what we’ve learned, a Changeling who hasn’t fed for a long period of time can go into a feral state, attacking their victims to drain them dry of all emotion, including the will to live. Apparently that’s the reason behind their fangs, which match the bite marks on her neck.”
“Do we know when this could have happened?”
“Judging from the body’s-”
“Her name was Diamond Tiara, Officer Hard Facts. Remember that.”
“Sorry, Princess Twilight. Judging from the dried blood and the state of rigor mortis, we estimate Diamond Tiara’s time of death to be somewhere around last night between the hours of twelve and three.”
Not long after, they took ‘er and left. Ah stayed behind though, just thinkin’. Somethin’ didn’t sit right with me ‘bout the whole deal. Ah mean, Diamond Tiara in the Everfree? At night? She sure as hay don’t like explorin’, and ya can be super sure she wouldn't've gone in all alone, 'specially not without Silver Spoon. The whole thing stank like a pigpen on cleanin’ day. Tiara was mah friend, and Ah was gonna do my darnedest to find out what really happened.
Ah sniffed, rubbed mah eyes, and started makin' a plan.
***
After that, the whole town shut down. Sweetie Belle and Scoots were so shook up, Rarity and Rainbow Dash decided to spend some time with 'em. The next day was gonna be the funeral, and Ah knew if Ah wanted mah answers before then, Ah was gonna hafta do it myself. Ah had mah reasons, though mostly Ah just wanted to give Tiara some peace o’ mind.
It took some convincin’ both times, but Applejack finally lemme borrow Winona for a while and Featherweight lemme borrow his camera. Took another look around after the officers left, but Ah didn’t find much Ah didn’t see last time. Blood, broken twigs, and two sets of hoofprints.
'Til Winona found the trash.
Not any normal trash, mind ya…
Fancy trash.
Zap-apple-jam type fancy.
Right on the branches in some bushes. Snapped a picture, then looked around some more.
For the longest time, the hoofprints threw me and Winona for a loop. It was like Tiara just appeared outta nowhere, and it went double for the Changelin’s.
Hated admittin' it, but Ah was stumped. So, Ah leaned mah back against a tree and did some thinkin’.
Then it hit me. Right on mah head.
A broken branch.
Darn stick nearly broke mah head, but gave me an idea after it stopped hurtin'. What if the Changelin’ was flyin’, and dropped in on Tiara? That’d explain why Ah couldn’t find anymore hoofprints. And if that could happen…
Ah rushed over t’where Ah found the jam, and guess what? There was a mighty big ditch behind those bushes. Way down at the bottom was a big ole branch. Prob’ly could've stretched halfway ‘cross if it was on a tree.
Ah look up, and wouldn’t ya know it? There was a tree on the other side with a big, broken-off branch.
Took some shots of the jam, branch, and ditch before Ah tried findin' another way 'round, quick as Ah could.
***
Don’t know if it was luck or what, but Ah found some tracks near that tree. Looked like Tiara ran up to it, climbed, and used the branch kinda like a divin’ board to get across.
Winona had to help me out after about two minutes, seein’ as how the ground got covered by whole lotta big roots. Ah lost track of how many times Ah almost tripped on the darn things. Lucky for me, she caught a whiff of somethin', and ran down ahead. Good thing she was barkin', or Ah'd've never found 'er.
Ah caught up, and boy did mah eyes go wide. Right there, in the middle of the clearin’ was a huge, ripped-open trash bag. Looked like some critters’d gotten to it, but the three best bits were still there.
A broken jar of zap apple jam.
A really fancy rug with a buncha stains.
And finally, a diamond tiara.
All on camera.
***
Ya know, Ah’m real lucky Ah spend so much time with Zecora. If Ah didn’t, Ah prob’ly wouldn’t've learned all the tips and tricks on how to get around the Everfree so easy. Ah’d've been gobbled up like one of Pinkie’s cupcakes, and twice as quick.
Almost got spotted by some Timberwolves, but Ah managed to lose ‘em at a river. Lemme tell ya, mah nerves ain’t been so stretched out since Ah snuck a slice of Granny Smith’s Pie before dinner. Still don't know how Applejack found out.
Anyways, Ah managed to get ahold of Featherweight before he went home, and told him to rush those pictures Ah had. He looked at me like Ah was crazy, but just shrugged and took off. Good thing he lives in Ponyville. Ah can't exactly pick up the pictures from Cloudsdale.
Next thing on mah list was talkin' to the ponies from Quills an’ Sofas. Ah thought they might know something about somepony who had some fancy rugs.
“Rugs? Or did you mean carpets? I always get confused on the difference between the two. You wouldn’t believe how much trouble that got me into at my last job. It was a dismal day, and I was simply...”
“Rugs? Little filly, I sell quills and sofas. No more, no less. Except for that one incident where we were out of quills, but that’s besides the point!”
“Oh, uh, yeah. I, like, know a pony who sells rugs. Or like, are they carpets? Well, like, he should totally be at his shop. It’s like, his house and stuff. Just head down to the bowling alley and he’s, like, just right next door. Just ask for Rugburn, and he can, like, totally hook you up. Laters!”
Wanna guess where Ah headed after that? Next door to the bowlin’ alley. Had to knock for near five minutes straight before Ah finally got somepony to answer. He wasn’t too happy, though.
“Kid, you’ve been incessantly knocking on my door. Can’t you read my sign? I’m closed for the day! I don’t care what you’re here for, now scram before I call the police on your flank.”
Ah looked him straight in the eye and said, “Ah’m lookin’ for some really good rugs. Ya got any?”
He rolled his eyes, “Little filly, my name is Rugburn. I sell hoof-woven, stitched, and dyed rugs of high quality to only the most prestigious members of Equestrian society. If my rugs were dresses, I’d give Rarity a run for her bits!”
Ah rubbed my chin. “Ya don’t say. Bet ya never sold one to Filthy Rich.”
Ah don’t know how he did it, but he turned even redder than normal. “I’ll have you know Filthy Rich happens to be one of my best customers! I’ve crafted masterpieces for nearly every single room in his mansion you upstart, frustrating little-”
Ah’d already turned the corner before he could finish. And ran smack-dab into Mrs. Spoiled Rich 'erself, with ‘er butler right behind ‘er.
Just mah luck.
Don’t know if ‘er nose was supposed to look like that or if she passed Gassy Mcgee on her way, but ‘er look rubbed me wrong.
“Watch where you’re going you impudent little… wait. You’re one of those blank flanks my daughter used to hang around, aren’t you?”
“Yes Ma’am, Ah am.”
“Ah, the little country bumpkin. You know, you and your friends turned my own daughter against me. I’ll have to thank you for that one of these days.”
Don’t know why she was glarin’ at me, but Ah figured it was ‘cause she was missin’ Tiara somethin’ fierce. So, I put on a smile. “Don’t you worry none, Mrs. Rich. Ah’m about to find out what really happened to Diamond Tiara.”
Her eyes went wide, and she blinked twice. “Oh. Is that right? And tell me - Applebloom was it - how do you plan on that? Ponyville’s police force already gave their findings. What do you know that they don’t?”
“Mah friend Featherweight lemme borrow his camera, and Ah got all sorts of pictures out in the Everfree like a rug, some jam, and a garbage bag.”
Might've just been me, but I could've sworn Ah saw ‘er eye twitch. “I see. Well, I hope your friend develops those pictures, for both our sakes. Come, Randolph. We’re leaving.”
Ah took a few steps, but got to thinkin', so Ah turned around. “Hey Mrs. Rich, what’re you doin’ 'round here, anyway?”
She kept on walkin’ but Ah swear I heard ‘er teeth grindin’. “None. Of. Your. Business.”
Still think it’s kinda weird Randolph never says anythin’.
***
The next day, things went bad.
Really bad.
Any worse, and Ah’d've been grounded from Scoots and Sweetie Belle.
Why?
Somepony went and robbed Featherweight’s house the night before. Stole some bits and the pictures.
All mah hard work, everythin’ I’d done, just… gone.
Ah felt twice as sad as everypony else at the funeral. Ah couldn't help mah friend. Ah let ‘er down. Ah… Ah failed ‘er.
Tears ran down mah face and onto Applejack’s leg before Ah felt some more hooves tappin’ on mah back. Featherweight’d come over to give me a hug, and I just about broke his back givin' him one back.
We sat together ‘til Ah went up and said goodbye to Tiara for one last time. Ah was the last pony there, so Ah closed the lid for the pall bearers. Mrs. Rich was waitin’ at the plot, dolled up like a Prench mare, stockin's and all. Randolph even busted out a full butler suit, gloves and everythin’.
Ah went back and sat by Featherweight while they carried ‘er out. Everypony was so quiet, Ah barely heard anythin' besides some snifflin', 'til Featherweight spoke up.
“Heh. This almost makes me feel sorry for the guy who stole my pictures.”
Ah gave him a funny look, but he was watchin' the stallions carryin' the coffin. Soon as they got to the hole, he started back up again.
“You see, there’s a reason photographers use tongs when handling their pictures. The chemicals used in the process can burn your coat off and leave some really nasty scars. The dummy must’ve knocked the pan over when he stole them.”
And that’s when it hit me. Ah had to be real careful-like, but by the time they’d lowered the coffin all the way down, I’d made it to the front. Ah didn't know who to go for, so Ah just grabbed one of each. Applejack almost caught me, but when she yanked on mah tail, Ah tore one of Randolph’s gloves and Mrs. Rich’s stockings.
And found mah proof.
Randolph had burn marks on ‘is hooves.
Everypony gasped, though mostly at me. Ah was about to get a stern talkin’ to before Ah called over Featherweight. Sure enough, they were the kinda burns he’d been talkin’ about.
'Course, Randolph turned on Mrs. Rich as soon as he could. They started fightin’ right then and there, but it was too late. They’d been caught.
Turned out Mrs. Rich’d gone to replace the rug she had Randolph throw out two days ago. She'd gone and thrown a jar of zap apple jam at Tiara, and thought she was dead. Randolph wrapped up Diamond Tiara’s in the rug, snuck out to the Everfree, and just left 'er there. Ah guess she just passed out, and managed to cut outta the trash bag with ‘er tiara.
Mrs. Rich got arrested for attempt at murder, coverin’ it up, and Randolph got arrested for helpin'.
Ah’m still gonna miss ‘er, but at least Ah feel better knowin’ those two’re in jail.