Chapters People say that your dreams Are the only things that save ya C'mon baby in our dreams We can live our misbehavior
The only time that Fluttershy and I could ever play with each other was when we were alone in our room. We made sure that Mum could not hear us, because if she did then we were surely in for it. At least I was. She continued to ignore Fluttershy, it was as if she didn’t even see she was there. Maybe my Mum was sick. Oh well, I could see Fluttershy, and she was secretly my best friend.
That’s how we got by.
It had been five days since we moved in. Mum was trying to find work nearby, ‘cuz she had quit her old job to move here. She would read the news in the mornings, looking for ads, which was nice ‘cuz she wouldn’t yell at me while she was doing it. Fluttershy and I would either sit and watch her mumble to herself from a distance, or we would talk in our room. It was nice, but we still had to be very quiet.
“Have you ever kissed a boy?” I asked her on that fifth day. We were lying on our backs, staring up at the ceiling of our room. We had grown close over the span of five days, and I felt like I could ask her more personal questions. That, and I thought it was funny whenever she blushed.
“Oh... um, I, uh...” she stuttered. She was silly, I liked her. “Do I have to answer?”
I chuckled. “Yes,” I told her. I stared into her ocean blue eyes with my own violet ones. I tilted my head to the side, awaiting her response. “Yes, you have to.”
She averted my stare. “Um... well, have you?”
“Ew! No way!” I whisper-yelled. “Colts are icky!” I sort of bonked her on the head, so that she would turn to look at me. “Answer the question.”
Her cheeks were bright red. It was all in good fun though. “Well... um, yes.”
I gasped. “No way!”
She turned away again, obviously embarrassed. “Well, I mean, kind of... yes, kind of.”
I was skeptical. “What do you mean, ‘kind of’?”
“Well, um... he kissed me.”
I smiled at her. She caught my funny looking grin and couldn’t help but do it herself. “It takes two to tango, sister,” I told her.
At that moment, we both lost our focus on the topic. The smallest pitter-patter of raindrops could be heard hitting the roof, which made us turn to each other, each wearing the same expression of ‘I don’t know if you’re thinking what I’m thinking...’.
Fluttershy and I scrambled into the hall, making our way out into the kitchen where Mum was still reading the paper. We tried to slip by her, and run out the back door to get outside. Fluttershy’s footsteps seemed to be much lighter than mine... she should teach me how to do that.
We were just about to exit the back door, but Mum caught us.
“Daisy,” my Mum piped up from the kitchen table, "Where are you going?" She had heard us trying to get out into the rain. I mouthed the word ‘shoot’ to Fluttershy as we turned to face Mum.
“Outside, Mum,” I said. I looked down at the floor.
Mum never looked up from her paper. I didn’t deserve her gaze. “It’s raining,” she told us.
If I was brave, I would have said something like, ‘duh, stupid.’ But I did not say that.
“I know, Mum,” I responded, my head turned away. I scraped my hoof back and forth on the wooden floorboard.
“You know, do you?” Mum said. “Then why are you going outside?”
I turned to Fluttershy, who was also not daring to look at Mum. It looked like she wasn’t going to speak up, either. It wasn’t her Mum, so I guess that she didn’t have to.
“I wanted to play in the rain,” I said to the floorboards. Mum took the opportunity to glare at me, and only me. Fluttershy was once again left by her lonesome.
“No. I don’t think so. You’ll get sopping wet and then the house will be a mess. I think that we both know who will have to clean that up.”
Fluttershy shrugged her shoulders at me. I nodded.
“Yes, Mum,” I said solemnly.
Fluttershy and I sluggishly trudged back to our room. At least Mum did not yell at us. She had picked up her paper and continued her reading, her search for a job. I trailed Fluttershy back into the room, where she flattened herself down onto the carpet while I shut the door behind us. She was watching the rain fall from outside of our only window, just like my Pop and I used to do when I was little...
Just like Pop...
Pop...
“I have something to show you,” I said to a lounging Fluttershy. She rolled over to face me, her eyes studying me.
I walked over to my dresser, which housed one of my most favorite pictures ever. It had been cracked in the move over here, Mum said that that was an accident. But the picture itself was still intact, and it still carried the same memory. I lifted it and waddled over to Fluttershy, where I layed down beside her.
“This is a picture of my Pop and me,” I said to her. I showed her the picture of my Pop, who was smiling and carrying me on his shoulders. Everything looked so happy... it made me want to be happy again.
Fluttershy studied the picture for a while. It looked like she was trying to claw at a distant memory of her own. She then looked up at me, scanning my features for some sort of emotion.
“What happened to him?” she asked me. Her cheeks suddenly turned red. “Oh, I mean, if you want to tell me. You don’t have to if you don’t want to...”
“No, it’s fine,” I assured her. I ran a hoof over the cracked picture frame in an attempt to feel my Pop's soft feathers again. It didn’t seem to work. I looked back at Fluttershy. “He died in an accident when I was five.”
“I’m so sorry,” Fluttershy said. Her voice sounded pure and sincere. Her voice was the perfect remedy to any heartbreak.
“Don’t be,” I told her, “It’s not your fault.”
Fluttershy and I spent the rest of the day just talking. Just talking about random stuff. I told her that I wanted to be the first earth pony that could fly. She told me that she wanted to be the first pegasus to keep her hooves on the ground as much as possible. We both laughed at our completely different outlooks on life. She was definitely a character. I liked her a lot. She reminded me of Pop, caring and optimistic, fun and keen. We kept talking for hours. We talked until the little amount of light from the day faded through our window.
It was time for bed before I knew it. Mum came by and gave us a lullaby I had grown accustomed to hearing throughout the years. She came by, knocked on my bedroom door, and said-
“Go the hell to sleep.”
Fluttershy and I eyed each other, grinning. The soft drops of rain hitting the roof could still be heard from outside, and its calming sensation would carry me through the night. Having a friend by my side would carry me through the night as well. My life had changed drastically since we moved, and I was enjoying it.
Fluttershy fluttered over to our bed and pulled back the covers. I walked to the door so that I could turn off the light. The lights went out as Fluttershy snuggled in our bed, the darkness of the night coming in through the window. I walked back to our bed and pounced on it, making Fluttershy squeal in surprise. I laughed.
“You scared me,” Fluttershy said, her heartbeat amped up a bit.
“Wasn’t me!” I replied as I tucked myself in alongside her. We both sat in the dark, staring at the ceiling. I could hear Fluttershy yawn.
“Well, I’m tired,” she said. “What are we going to do tomorrow?”
I shrugged in the dark. “Oh, the usual most likely. Mum won’t let us go anywhere.”
Fluttershy tossed in bed, facing the wall. Her light breaths blended in with the rain hitting the roof. “I’m looking forward to it,” she told me. She yawned again, a deep, very silent breath. “Good night, Daisy.”
I smiled a stupid, foalish smile as I gazed up at the darkened ceiling. I turned in the direction opposite my friend. “Good night, Fluttershy.”
Morning came, and the teardrops of the angels could still be heard gently hitting the roof. I woke up, wiping my eyes, adjusting to the brightness of the sun’s rays coming in through the window. I felt that something was missing. I turned to see a vacant spot to the left of me, and it was cold to the touch. Fluttershy wasn’t in the bed with me. Wow, she must be an early riser.
I threw the covers off and rolled out of bed, my hooves lightly touching the carpet. I trotted over to my door and whisked it open, peering out into the hallway, searching it for the pegasus with the soft pink mane. I saw that Mum was not yet up, her door was still closed.
“Fluttershy?” I whispered into the hallway. I couldn’t see her, so I gingerly tip-toed into the hall. "Fluttershy?"
I silently made my way around the house, looking for her. She wasn’t in the spare bedroom, and she wasn’t in the living room. There weren’t a lot of rooms in the house. Maybe she was hungry...
I trotted into the kitchen, where Fluttershy could be seen sitting at the table with her hooves folded in her lap. She heard me enter, and she turned to look at me.
“There you are,” I whispered. “Just hungry, or what?”
“You got two perfectly fine forelegs. Get your own damn breakfast,” my Mum said from behind me as she entered the kitchen. I went stiff, I can’t believe I didn’t hear her get up. I can’t believe she got up and got down here so fast. I hope that she didn’t hear the first part of my sentence.
She crossed around me as she went to the cupboards, probably to get her coffee. I looked at Fluttershy and shrugged my shoulders. Apparently she didn’t hear me.
“Yes, Mum,” I said. I walked over to the other cupboards that had the oats. I took them out and pulled up a chair next to Fluttershy.
“I’m gonna have to head into town anyway today,” Mum continued. “You’re gonna have to stay here on your own for a few hours, fend for yourself.” She paused so she could fixate her eyes directly on my soul. “So if I find out you’ve done anything but sit here, you will be sorry.”
I turned my head down to the table, faking my somber expression. What I was really thinking was, ‘wha? We get a whole day to ourselves?!’
I looked at Fluttershy, and I winked. “Yes, Mum.”
Mum turned back around and occupied herself with her coffee. Me? I wasn’t so hungry anymore. I’m not sure if Fluttershy was either, but this was too important.
“Follow me,” I whispered to her as I got out of my chair.
I started to trot out of the kitchen, leaving the oats behind. Fluttershy obeyed and trotted after me. She followed me back to our room, where I shut the door behind us, and I turned to my friend and grinned a devious grin.
“What is it?” Fluttershy asked me, looking puzzled.
I looked outside. The day looked dreary and rainy. Perfect.
“Let’s go outside!” I told her, nearly jumping out of my horseshoes. I put my hoof over my mouth, ‘cuz I was being too loud.
Fluttershy looked out the window. “It’s raining. Your mother said that you shouldn’t go out...”
“She won’t know!” I told her, “When she leaves, we can go out, and when we come back in, we can dry off! It never happened.” I tossed my curly, milk white mane out of my face. My smile was pleading now and I gave her puppy dog eyes. “Pwweeeease?”
Fluttershy gave me an innocent smile. “Okay. I mean... um... because you want to.”
Maybe a little under an hour passed. We waited anxiously for Mum to leave. I sat in my room, brimming with excitement. How long did it take Mum to drink coffee? I don’t know, never hung around to find out. Alls I knew was, she was taking TOO LONG!
Suddenly, we heard the front door open from downstairs, and a voice said-
“Daisy! I’m leaving! You left the damn oats out on the table! Put those away!”
The door slammed shut after that. Fluttershy and I looked at each other, smiling.
"Let's do it," I said, wearing a smug grin. We instantly darted out of the bedroom door.
“C’mon! I’ll race you to the door!” I hollered. I felt free. I felt alive. I felt like I could do whatever I wanted, and I hadn’t felt that way in three years.
I rumbled rambunctiously down the steps, Fluttershy in tow. She wasn’t putting up much of a fight. I turned the corner, out toward the door. It might have been more fair if I had a hoof tied behind my back. Fluttershy was content to follow me, sort of, well, lolligagging.
She was not much of a racer, I guess. I beat her to the door with ease. She wasn’t even trying. I burst out into the rain, the drizzle instantly giving me a giddy feeling.
“I win!” I hollered. I looked up into the overcast sky, the rain soaking my turquoise-blue feathers. The cool water was a feeling of triumph.
“Good job,” Fluttershy said as she stepped out into the rain with me. “You are very fast.”
I sat down on the grass. I closed my eyes, my head still tilted to the sky. The rain was coming down hard, I was going to get drenched. I was going to be shaking water out of my feathers like a fountain, and my mane was going to get all slicked back. I smiled at the thought. I haven’t had such a feeling in three years.
Fluttershy walked over to me, her mane still perfect. She must have used some strong shampoo. She bit her lower lip, trying to stop a grin from coming forward.
“What?” I asked.
Suddenly, Fluttershy stuck her hooves into my mane, and she started to stick it up like a mohawk. I giggled, fighting her, trying to reach her mane too. We fell onto the grass in a heap, giggling like silly foals. It was already the most fun I had had in three years.
It was the happiest I had felt in three years.
I... I had almost forgotten what 'happy' meant.
Another hour, and I was soaked through. My feathers stuck to the muddied soil. I needed to go back in and take a shower before Mum came back, but I was hesitant to get up. This was just too much fun! I wanted to stay out here forever! But, If Mum got back early... I would never get up. So before we went back inside, I asked Fluttershy a random question.
“Fluttershy...” I spoke up, “what... what if we could do this every day?”
Fluttershy’s blue eyes turned to me. They were gleaming as the raindrops passed between our view of one another. Her eyes were so pretty, I wish I had her eyes.
“Um... I’d say that every day would be a successful one, then,” she told me, smiling.
I smiled back. I didn’t know what else to do but stay there next to her, getting even more sodden as the rain poured. I did know one thing, however...
This moment was going to last forever.
o----o
Song: Rebellion (Lies)
By: Arcade Fire
Dreams Aren’t what they used to be Some things Slide by so carelessly
Smile like you mean it
Fluttershy and I got back into the house, soaking wet. We had left out towels to dry off with just inside of the door, and I grabbed both of them and handed one to Fluttershy, who didn’t appear to be wet at all. I was amazed by her. It was as if she could dodge raindrops. But, being the oddball I am, I decided to fix that.
I shook my entire body, hard, so that drops of water went flying. Fluttershy flinched, she closed her eyes and covered her face with a hoof. My mane was all sorts of crazy afterward. I must have looked like a lunatic. It was okay, ‘cuz I was gonna take a bath anyway and Fluttershy was nice enough to take it easy on my appearance, so I wasn't at all worried.
“How do I look?” I asked her, standing all heroic in front of her. I wasn’t sure which hero I was emulating.
Fluttershy looked at me and snickered. She immediately tried to suck it back in, maybe feeling bad. But I didn’t care, I probably did look silly.
“You... uh... look great,” she said. I could see her hiding that smile.
“Riiiiiiggghhhht,” I replied with a hint of sarcasm. Well, not really a hint, more of a dash... or a cup perhaps.
Suddenly Fluttershy turned completely serious. She looked slightly worried. “Oh, I didn’t offend you, did I? I’m really sorry if I did,” she said. She turned away bashfully, which I found weird, ‘cuz she didn’t have to. “You look very, um, nice.”
I smiled a warm smile, “You don’t have to lie, silly. You won’t offend me, I probably look ridiculous!” I used the towel to dry off my hooves so that I could walk through the house without putting puddles of water on the floor. I turned to her and motioned my head toward the hall. “C’mon, let’s go find a mirror!”
Fluttershy and I trotted into the bathroom, where the only mirror in the house was located besides in Mum’s room. In the mirror stood two unlikely friends, a kind and easygoing one, and a spontaneous and sporadic one. The spontaneous one put a foreleg around the neck of the kind one, and the kind one smiled at the sight of the spontaneous one’s mane. The spontaneous one agreed with the kind one’s grin, as her mane was a poofy wreck of hair.
“BWA HA HA! I look like, I look like... what do I look like?” I asked into the mirror, hysterical at the sight of myself.
Fluttershy didn’t try to hide her smile anymore. “You look like a cloud who has perhaps had too much fun!” she squeaked out in her usual pleasant tone. I agreed with her, my mane looked like a crazy cloud.
“Haha! It so does!” I said. I paused, eyeing the bath that I was about to ready for myself. “It’s so true...”
I trailed off. A silence hung in the air for a little bit, estranging both of us. Fluttershy just watched me awkwardly tap my hooves at the ground. I looked at the bath, then at Fluttershy, then at the bath again, sort of weirding out the moment. My violet eyes scanned the bathroom layout onceover.
“Is something wrong?” Fluttershy asked me, the sudden silence now feeling out of place.
I didn’t reply. I didn’t reply, ‘cuz I felt so good inside that I had a new friend and I was caught up in it. I didn’t reply, ‘cuz I didn’t know how to explain to her that something was right . Instead, what I did was the only thing I could think of to really express to her my thoughts.
I grabbed Fluttershy and I hugged her. I hugged her tight, and I didn’t think that I would ever let her go.
“Thank you,” I told her in the most sincere tone I could manage. “Thank you for being my first friend in years.”
Now it was Fluttershy’s turn to have an awkward silence. She just let me hug her at first, surprised by the sudden emotional turn. Then, I swear I could feel her smile, and she returned my embrace.
“Of course,” she said to me in that heavenly voice. “Everypony deserves to have a friend, especially one as special as you.”
Mum returned home later that afternoon, Fluttershy and I heard her enter and abruptly slam the front door shut from our room. She and I sat on the carpet, talking, trying not to pay any attention to her. Easier said than done. I reluctantly listened in on her every hoofstep, every clack in the floorboards. Fluttershy noticed that something was the matter.
“What is it?” she whispered to me, poking me gently in the side.
Something was the matter. I had forgotten something. My eyes searched around for it as if it would be floating in the air somewhere, just out of my reach. What was it?
“The oats,” I said, seemingly out of the blue.
“What?”
“The oats! We forgot to put the oats away!”
My Mum’s hoofsteps downstairs were heavy. They could almost be felt vibrating through the house. Each step was labored too, as if she had had a long day, and there had been no rest periods. She must have had no luck in town, which was bad news for us. To our shock, the hoofsteps stopped at a random point in her track. That was not good. We held our breaths.
They started up again, getting louder and more pronounced. I wanted to cover my ears, make the sound go away, but I could not. It sounded like she was wearing marching boots. They invaded my ear drums and marched and marched and marched, beating on like a percussion line.
The steps stopped at the base of my door. I got real close to Fluttershy, asking for her strength in proximity. I put on the sternest face I could fathom. Fluttershy took my hoof... a promise to me that everything would be okay.
And that was okay.
I jumped as my door flew open, my Mum standing in the door with a sinister look in her eye. She was never a pretty sight to look at, and the same could be said about her now. It was as if she was drunk all the time, her mane was tangled and she found it difficult to walk in straight lines.
Ever since Pop died, everything like that became difficult for her.
“You aren’t smiling,” my Mum said, looking only at me. That was a curious entrance. “Why not?”
I didn’t know what she was talking about... and that was the scariest thing of all. I gulped.
“What do you mean, Mum?” I asked her, trying to appear completely innocent, totally calm. Fluttershy would have been better at this, but Mum still refused to look at her. It was like Mum just couldn't see Fluttershy at all.
“Why don’t you give me a big ‘ol grin... and smile like you mean it,” she told me. I didn’t know what kind of weird trick she was playing, but it was not one that she has ever played before. I was in deep trouble.
“Mum, I’m confused, what are you-”
“‘Cuz obviously you’ve been having fun today! I know, I can see it on the walls!” Mum said, cutting me off. I got very scared at her tone of voice, comparable to that of a madpony. “So why don’t you just give me a dandy little smile?”
“O-oh. Is this about the oats?” I asked in despair. “I- I can go back down and get them... I j-just for-”
“It’s not about the damn oats you little brat,” my Mum said as she came straight for me. I yelped as she yanked me up from the floor by my ear, easily holding me up. The look in her eye was fierce. “Now, tell me why the back door is all wet.”
I was so scared. Mum was crazier than ever before. I needed help. I knew that I had a secret to keep, but we did not agree upon taking that secret to the grave. I needed somepony to help me, else we start a premature dig six feet into the ground in the backyard.
“Fluttershy! Help! Help!” I squealed as my Mum essentially just toyed with me. I searched for my friend, but I could not see her. She must have been behind my Mum.
“Fluttershy?” my Mum said, taking a moment to ponder over what I had shouted. Mum easily held me with a hoof as I struggled in her grasp. “Oh, not this again.”
Mum let me go, but blocked my escape out the door. I ended up backing into the corner, the worst of places you’d want to be.
“Fluttershy! Help!” I tried again. She was not in the room. “Fluttershy?”
“What did I tell you about imaginary friends?” my Mum asked me. I paid no attention to her, none at all.
“Fluttershy, where are you? Help!”
“Answer the question, Daisy!” my Mum hollered at me. Her words seemed to stick into the corner like a narrowly missed dagger toss.
“Fluttershy!?” I persisted. She could not be seen. I felt a lone tear spill from my eye.
“That’s it, come here,” my Mum said as she began to cross over to me, obvious punishment coming my way. She did the opposite of that which she commanded me. “I’ll teach you the difference between what’s imaginary and what’s real.”
o----o
Song: Smile Like You Mean It
By: The Killers
I could sleep I could sleep When I lived alone Is there a ghost in my house?
I cried. I cried ‘cuz I just didn’t know what else to do.
I was lying face down in the middle of my room. My tears were flowing from my eyes like the gutter during a harsh rain. My head hurt. My bones ached. Mum had been really angry with me this time. I didn’t know where Fluttershy was, but I was too weak to raise my head to find out.
My blood mixed with the salt from my tears on the carpet; I could taste it. My nose was running, my ears were ringing, and every last ounce of happiness was drained away from me that day. Mum exited my room, irate, unconcerned, unattached, and with her foal lying on the floor. She wasn’t like the monster from my nightmares-
She was the monster from my nightmares.
So I cried... I cried, and cried, and cried.
There was a breeze floating in through the window. It was cool and gentle... like the touch of my new friend. Perhaps it was the touch of my new friend, I couldn’t tell, for I was staring at the carpet, which didn’t seem so plush anymore. I couldn’t know for sure. I did know one thing, though. My window was not open, because it was raining, and I knew how mad Mum would get if I had done something so stupid as to leave it open. I could hear the rain hit the window... and it was the same sound from three years ago.
There was a voice in my head. Faint, at first, but it gradually made its way forward. It began to replace marching boots and percussion lines. It began to replace shouts about how worthless and meek I was. It was nice, ‘cuz if I had to listen to that for the rest of my day, I would most likely just give up.
There was a voice in my head. It was soft, and sweet...
“Daisy?” Fluttershy asked, trying to attract my attention by running a hoof through my milky white mane. “Daisy? Um... are you okay? Please be okay...”
I struggled with myself to lift only my head to face her. I was shaking... everything felt so cold. I met Fluttershy’s tender blue eyes, heaven in Equestria.
“Oh, no, you poor thing!” she said in that voice of hers. “Goodness, let’s get you in bed. Let me help you.”
I groaned as Fluttershy scooped me up in her hooves and transported me to our bed. My blood and tears ran off of me and onto her, but they didn’t seem to stain her coat or anything. She must be a miracle.
But, where was my miracle but a few minutes ago?
“Oh, dear. Are you hurt anywhere else?” Fluttershy said as she used a tissue to wipe away the blood trickling from my nose. “I’m so sorry, I, um, I can’t believe that she would do that...”
I turned away from my friend, ‘cuz it hurt too much. Not ‘cuz of the pain from my nose or the bruise under my eye, but ‘cuz my friend just... just wasn’t there. Where had she gone? I know that Mum was ignoring her, probably so that she could just stay mad at me and me only. But if she would have at least made her presence known, it could have been different.
“Oh... do you not want my help? Was I not being gentle enough? Oh, um... I’m sorry,” she said as she drew her hooves back from my body. “I just can’t believe that-”
“It doesn’t matter,” I finally cut in amidst sniffles. I pulled my covers up to my shoulders in an attempt to block everything out. “I’m used to it. I can handle it.”
I could sense Fluttershy flinch from behind me. There was a moment of silence between the two of us that, to me, seemed to span a long time.
“U-used to it?” Fluttershy said, taken aback. It was apparent she had no idea. So I gave her that idea.
“This happens all the time.” I paused. “Well... used to. I had been doing better of late. But now...” I trailed off. I sniffed, and I tossed my covers over my head, ‘cuz the world was a little bit darker anyway.
Once again, Fluttershy was silent. I knew that she was there, ‘cuz I could feel her pressure on the side of the bed. But she wasn’t saying anything. Maybe she was shocked. Maybe she was in disbelief. Maybe she had gone mute. She didn’t have a very strong voice to begin with, so maybe the situation was too much for her.
“Where were you?” I asked, breaking the silence. My voice came out muffled through the bed-sheets. I didn’t feel like showing the world my face, ‘cuz it most likely didn’t want to see it anyway. I probably looked ridiculous.
“E-excuse me?” Fluttershy responded hesitantly.
“Why didn’t you say anything when I shouted?” I clarified. I needed her to answer, ‘cuz I feel as though a response was necessary. I waited for a couple of seconds, it felt like I was treading the waters of a bottomless ocean. Nothing happened.
I threw my covers off and spun around to face her. “WHY!?” I shrieked. I covered my mouth ‘cuz I was being too loud. Fluttershy raised a hoof to her chest in defense.
“Oh, um, I couldn’t, ‘cuz I, um-”
“'Cuz you were too weak to!?” I whisper-yelled.
Fluttershy studied me with her stunning blue eyes. Those stunners were hurt. They were getting all watery. They were beginning to look like mine, I assumed. Oh-oh. Suddenly, I went even colder inside. Fluttershy was my friend, and the only one I had. I didn’t know why she didn’t respond to me before... but acting like my Mum was definitely not the way to find out.
“I didn’t mean that,” I told her in a vain attempt to comfort her. I couldn’t let her cry, ‘cuz then I would be no better than Mum, and then I would truly hate myself.
“It’s just... I... ugh.” I didn’t know what to say. I covered my face with a hoof. My bruise stung me as I came down on it. “Ow.”
Fluttershy was just staring at the floor. I watched her through my hooves, ‘cuz I didn’t want to make her feel alone, but I didn’t know what else to say. I was hurting too, after all.
I looked out of my window. Rain, rain and more rain. It made me want to be happy again. It made me want us to be happy, if anything. Finally, because I could not let my friend sulk, and partly for myself, I changed the subject.
“What if we could just play in the rain? Just forever, you and me...” I said, gazing longingly out the window. I paused, just to make sure I had her attention. “Could we do it?”
I could see her look at me from the corner of my eye. She wiped away a tear that never fully formed. “Oh, yes. We would get very wet though, and in turn we would be playing with a lot more weight than we currently carry. Do you have an umbrella at all?”
I smiled, which was weird, ‘cuz it wasn’t really a smiley occasion. I turned to my friend, her features reflecting back at her in my violet eyes. I know, ‘cuz I could see them.
“Oh, was that a rhetorical question?” Fluttershy asked me, apparently confused by my appearance.
“No, no,” I told her, still smiling. “I was just wondering what you thought.”
What she thought. I was always wondering what she thought. What did go on up in that pony’s head?
Fluttershy managed a wry grin. “Well, in that case, I think it would be nice.”
I looked out the window again. I wondered how things were different out there.
“Would you miss the house?” I asked.
Fluttershy scanned our bedroom, as if the walls were foreign to her. “This house is really just a memory now,” she said.
I smiled. I smiled at the outside world, at Fluttershy’s friends, at the ever-changing scenery. I smiled at long walks, and lightning bugs, and roses, like Pop and I used to smile at together. I wondered just how different it was from the inside world.
“Good,” I said to my best friend... my only friend, “‘cuz now I think that I am just strong enough to do this.”
o----o
Song: Is There A Ghost
By: Band of Horses
The sun when there is none I’m a shepherd for you And I’ll guide you through Let me be your everlasting light
It was dark out. Night had fallen, and the rain had finally quit. Mum had gone to bed a while ago, ‘cuz I think beating me up made her feel tired. That was fine by me. It gave us more time to prepare. It was nice, ‘cuz now Fluttershy and I were gonna make our move. We were going to do something daring, something heroic and drastic... and we could never turn back on it, not never. Nope. This was it. We were about to do what I had been dreaming of doing for just over two years, but never had the guts to accomplish.
“Do you think we’re ready?” Fluttershy asked me. I could only vaguely make out her outlines, Luna’s moon was not shining brightly enough through the window pane for me to get a clearer view.
I scuffled across the carpet, searching for my knapsack. I hoped that I had packed everything that I needed. “Ready as we’ll ever be,” I said to my friend, whom I could no longer see at all. She seemed to be very good at blending into the background, sometimes it was as if she were invisible.
“Um... okay. So, um, should we go now?”
“Shhhhh!” I shushed her, just in case my sleeping Mum happened to randomly obtain bat ears. You never know, and you can never be too careful.
“Oh, um... sorry.”
I listened through the walls, just to make sure that I couldn’t hear any shuffling hoofsteps or anything like that. Nothing stirred, the coast seemed to be clear... for now.
“C’mon... I think we’re good,” I said into the darkness.
I opened our bedroom door a smidge, trying to inhibit the creaking sound it always made whenever it opened. I peered out into the blackened hallway, which was unnecessary ‘cuz I wasn’t going to see anything anyway. It was as black as the night. It was as black as the relationship with my mother. In many ways, it exemplified the future, jumping into a pit of darkness with no foreseeable exit. But in other ways... it was a hallway in a cottage on the edge of town.
The door slowly drifted open, making that darned creaking noise the entire way through. I couldn’t hear it all that well, ‘cuz I was muttering ‘shoot, shoot, shoot...’ under my breath in the process. I could sense Fluttershy’s grimace as we prayed that Mum could not hear the noise in the dark. Our heads were kept on a swivel... or rather our ears, if possible, just in case something did decide to go bump in the night, and we would have to abandon ship.
The door stopped groaning as it fully swung inward, giving us a good amount of space to squeeze through into the hall. I led the way, Fluttershy close behind, and we silently shuffled out. We decided that it would be a good idea to stick as close to each other as possible, ‘cuz it was so dark and we didn’t want to lose each other. So Fluttershy pretty much hung on to my tail as we meandered down the eerie hallway.
And now, for our next trick: finding the stairs. This was going to be lots of fun and so much more, as the danger level of this endeavor now tripled. Not only could we not see where the stairs began, but falling down them meant certain death, a demise I do not want to have to deal with tonight. That, and we could even hurt ourselves falling down them alone, forget the punishment that comes after.
But I was such a smart foal, oh yes I was. You see, I had counted how many steps it took to get to the stairs before nightfall, which was approximately thirteen. I was very proud of myself for thinking of such.
“Okay, stay close,” I whispered behind me, simultaneously feeling the tighter grip onto my tail.
One...
Two...
Three... I felt like I was in some sort of jailbreak movie. Like I was a wanted criminal.
Four... Five... Six...
We were getting out of here, into the night. I was sure of it.
Seven... Eight... Nine...
I certainly hope that Luna can handle two wayward ponies when we do.
Ten... Eleven... Twelve...
“Stop,” I said as I held up a hoof and came to a sudden halt. I could feel Fluttershy lightly bump into me from behind.
There was a frozen moment at the top of the steps, or what I thought was the top of the steps. Fluttershy waited patiently behind me as I slowly raised my hoof and proceeded to bring it back down, hoping that I would find the first step. To my surprise, my hoof slid off of the corner of the steps and came down onto the staircase.
“Eep!” I squeaked out. I covered my mouth with my hoof, ‘cuz I was being too loud. For a moment, it felt as though there wasn’t any pressure on my tail any more. It felt like Fluttershy had just... disappeared.
I relaxed when I found out that Mum was still sound asleep, ‘cuz I heard a snore. I could also feel Fluttershy’s tight grip on my tail again, and she was ready for me to lead her down the stairs. So that’s exactly what I did. One small step at a time, I furtively led us down the steps. We were silent as a mouse. Maybe even more than silent, we were like secret agents on those stairs. I suppose that you could call me the Stair Master.
We hit the bottom of the steps and stepped out onto the first floor. I know, because I counted the steps- seven. The moonlight here shone through the windows, making it possible for us to see clearly again. Everything in the room was crisply outlined by the moonlight, including my friend.
“You ready?” I asked Fluttershy, smirking, though she probably couldn’t tell.
“Only if you are,” she replied, her voice unmistakable.
I turned my head toward the front door. I motioned my hoof forward, signaling Fluttershy to follow me. “Alright, let’s go.”
Fluttershy and I exited through the front door, being extra careful not to make it sound too loud. I let Fluttershy step out into the cool night air with me, which was much more suitable than that stuffy old cottage, I’m sure Fluttershy agreed. I closed the door behind us. I shut it tight, making sure that I heard the click of the bolt slide into place on the other side. This meant something to me. I wasn’t just closing a door, no. I was closing out painful memories and several cuts and bruises. I was closing out my old life. ‘Cuz you know what?
You know what I’ve decided?
I’m never coming back.
I heaved a deep sigh. I turned away from my front door, my knapsack slung over my shoulder, and I stared at what lay before me, what my new life was going to look like.
The outside world was beautiful. The moonscape was a stunning display of violets and lavenders and navy blues that blended together in a harmony comparable to that of a music ballad masterpiece. The stars were entwined with the heavens, making the otherwise dark night sky spring to life with the numerous floating orbs that rested in its midst. The moon itself was a floating, spherical lantern that hung there for all to gaze and marvel at. If you could ever see something as beautiful in your lifetime, you would be one lucky pony. It had taken my breath away instantly.
The cosmos were not the only extraordinary sight on this evening. The moon highlighted every little outline and every edge of everything in sight, making the plants and such gleam and shine in a different way than they would in the daytime. The trees that lined the path going back to the village were gently swaying in the moonlight, essentially appearing to be very tall ponies with giant afros on their heads. I could hear crickets and bugs and raccoons and restful breathing. I could hear whispers on the wind and an inner voice that was telling me that everything would be all right.
That wasn’t even the best part, no. The best part was the overcrowded population of lightning bugs that danced in the scene, buzzing back and forth with ease. They were so beautiful. They were so graceful. They frolicked from grass blade to grass blade, every now and then making their presence known with that glow of theirs. Pop and I used to catch them when I was little. We would put them in jars and watch them glow, captivated by it. I would always try to make my flank glow after I saw them... it never worked. I guess that I can say that they hold some sort of significance to me. Some of my favorite memories are sparked by the sight of the lightning bug.
I watched intently as one of the creatures buzzed over to me, taking an interest to this intruder of the night. He fluttered over and alighted on my nose, glowing in a constant rhythm. I loved it. I giggled, ‘cuz he was tickling my nose. How did he know that that was my sweet spot? How did he know anything about me? I would probably never know.
Then, there was my friend, Fluttershy. I could see the stars shine in her eyes like undying embers in the middle of a pool of dark water. I wish I had her eyes. She was glowing by herself, the moon producing a halo of light around her to accentuate her own divinity. I was in awe. The whole scene... all of it... I could never ever grow tired of it.
“I, um... I kinda know my way around here, if you want me to lead the way,” Fluttershy said, snapping me back to reality. “Oh, unless you want to lead... that’s fine too.
I smiled at her. “It’s fine, I want you to lead,” I said. I paused, taking a look back at my new house, the one that I still liked, but was now going to leave because of the monster that lived inside. “You sure you want to go?”
I could just feel her smile from all the way back to the front door. “Yes. I think that it is time I moved away anyway.”
“How long have you been living here?” I asked her.
Fluttershy thought about it. “Ummmm... I stopped counting at 106, but, uh... well I’m not so sure now...”
I chuckled. I chuckled at my friend, because she was still funny whenever she lied. She wasn’t too much older than me, I think. “Right. You’re funny! I like that.”
Both she and I turned to the road ahead, the one that took us out of this little village. Who knows what lurks out there.
“Should we go then?” Fluttershy asked me, almost hesitant about it, as if I might change my mind.
I would not. I was determined, ‘cuz I was really ready to do this. Nothing could be as dark as living under Mum, I was sure of it. So this is what I’ve decided. I’m gonna do it, and nothing’s gonna stop me.
“Thought you’d never ask,” I told her, wearing what I liked to call a Fluttershy smile.
o----o
Song: Everlasting Light
By: The Black Keys
Said maybe You’re gonna be the one that saves me And after all You’re my wonderwall
Fluttershy and I trotted along the dusty old path that led away from town, the moon lighting the way ahead for us. It was like the scene from a movie, like one of those old flicks that I used to watch with Pop, ‘cuz he liked those black and white pictures. Secretly, I never liked them. I only watched them ‘cuz Pop watched them, and that was all. But this was one I was really looking forward to. Two ponies walking side by side down an old, moonlit road, traversing the world together. That sounded like a black and white flick I would watch.
We never looked back as we trotted along. Looking back would have spoiled the whole ‘heroic image’ in my head. Instead, we stoically trotted forward. My house must have been acres away by now, as we had been trotting for... uh, seven minutes. I’m not an adventurer, so perhaps gauging time and distance wasn’t my specialty, but it had to be somewhere around there, I was sure of it. My house most definitely could not be seen from where we were.
Call that fear of turning around to find out, or just adoration of the sights that lay before me.
“So, um... where would you like to go first?” Fluttershy asked me, thousands of lightning bugs dancing around her body. Was I actually in a movie, or was I in a dream? If it was the latter one, and I woke up in my house the next morning... oh, I would be so angry.
I pinched myself, just to be sure. Ow.
“I don’t know,” I said to her as she happened to catch me pinching myself, which in turn twisted her expression into a curious one. I didn’t bother to give her an explanation, as I turned out to the forest that lined the outside of town, the one that had been in our backyard. “Ooh! What is there to do in the forest over-”
“Nothing!” Fluttershy interjected. She had caught me off guard, and I flinched. "Oh, I mean, um... nothing."
“Okay... nothing,” I said defensively. I looked further down the road ahead, out at the stretch of gravel that went on for miles. How was I supposed to know what was out there? “Um... where is the best place to go?”
Fluttershy’s smile was the sun in the middle of the night. “Oh, goodness, well, uh, I really like a nice little place called Star Lake. It's not too far from here, and It’s wonderful this time of night, the flowers and the trees are some of the most beautiful in all Equestria! That’s not just it, though. When the moon hits the water just right, the water becomes completely still, and you can see everything around you in it. Oh, it’s lovely.”
I was awkwardly smiling at Fluttershy while she was talking, ‘cuz I loved just listening to her babble on. She was like the dreamy voice in your head that you never wanted to get rid of. The reality was, it was just a complete deviation from the voice I had been listening to for the past three years.
Fluttershy caught me looking at her. I continued to do it like a dumb foal. “Um, but if you want to go somewhere else, that’s fine...” she said. Her smile was replaced by a sheepish look.
I snapped out of it. “Wha? No! Star Lake, you say? Sounds great!” I told her, ‘cuz really, it did sound great. Everything about she and I living on our own now sounded great. There wasn’t a single worry or care in the world right now, and that’s how it should be.
“Oh, well okay!” Fluttershy said, picking up her pace a tad. “Then let’s go, we don’t want to miss it, the moon needs to be just overhead!”
Fluttershy and I ventured off of the main road, down a rocky pathway that looked as though it hadn’t been used in hundreds of years. The grass was starting to overtake it, their long, bony fingers protruding through the rock. It was sort of creepy... I wasn’t so sure this was the right way to go. But I trusted Fluttershy. If she said she knew where to go, then that’s where we went. There was a small gap in a lining of trees just ahead of us, and I assumed that’s where we were headed. The path led right through the trees and into what appeared to be a small clearing on the other side.
“It’s just through here,” Fluttershy assured me, brimming with joy and excitement. “Oh, gosh, I haven’t been here in so long! I hope that we didn’t miss it...”
Fluttershy led me through the gap in the trees, and the clearing on the other side wasn’t as dark as I thought. In fact, it was exactly as Fluttershy described it and more. The moonlight shone through the branches, making everything light up in a shadowy, dark blue glow. There was flora galore, tulips and dafodils and roses and pegunias and daisies all littered the ground, and you couldn't even take a step without accidentally stepping on them (sorry). That was not the best part, oh no. As Fluttershy had said before, the lake in the middle of the clearing was by far the most spectacular. The moon was reflected in the rippling waters, essentially acting as a secondary moon. The light shot off of the waters, into the surrounding area, making everything spring to life like a cartoon. In the words of a great friend, oh, it was lovely.
Fluttershy settled herself down on the bank of the lake (it was more of a pond, really). She let out a restful sigh. "Oh, good, we aren't too late," she said.
I just stared at her dumbly again. "You mean this isn't it?"
"Oh no," she said. "We have to wait for the moon to be just overhead."
"Uh-huh," was all that I could say.
Fluttershy pointed to my knapsack in the meantime. She cocked her head to the side in curiosity. “What do you have in there?” she asked.
I turned over my shoulder and bit hold of the strap, so that in turn I could swing it around. I did so, and I gently set it down on the ground, where I sat down next to Fluttershy and started to open it. “Just the necessities,” I said. “I brought some dafodil sandwiches, some bandages, water, my lucky rabbit’s... um.” I froze and turned to look at Fluttershy. “Uh... favorite flower...” I wiped the sweat from my brow real quick, “some crayons, a flashlight, and some squirt guns, just in case we have to fight off some ghosts or something."
Fluttershy giggled. "Do ghosts get hurt by water?"
"Heck if I know, we can use it on vamponies I guess."
"Um, is the water blessed by Celestia?"
"Oh... shoot."
Fluttershy giggled again and turned her gaze to the bespeckled night sky. She followed the path of the moon, probably gauging when it would be time. “Just a few more minutes.” she said. She curled up into a ball as if she were going to bed, but she trained her eyes on the waters. “Then you’ll see what you’ve been missing.”
I copied Fluttershy’s body language as I layed down next to her, keeping my head up so that I could see over the taller grasses. I anxiously awaited the spectacle that was promised to me on this cloudless evening, as whatever Fluttershy promised me I would look forward to, and already the night had been perfect. I took in deep, relaxed breaths as the waters lapped at the bank. I wished that Pop was here to share this with me.
“Are you ready?” Fluttershy asked me, smiling, and turning to face me.
“Is that a question?” I replied.
Fluttershy frowned. “Oh, yes, it was a question. Why? Did it not seem like one?”
I only smiled back at her. She was silly, I liked her. It was good that we were friends, ‘cuz if not, I wouldn’t be doing anything even remotely fun right now. I would most likely be crying in my bed, wasting my life away staying in a lonely old house with no future. I would be dying a long and drawn out death, one that seemed to be refusing to come. But now... now I had something to live for. Now I had purpose. It was nice, ‘cuz everypony needs to have a purpose.
“Do you know how much longer?” I asked Fluttershy, partaking in a bite of one of the dafodil sandwiches at my disposal. She was staring up at the sky. “‘Cuz I don’t want Mum to come searching for us in the middle of the night.”
Fluttershy didn’t bother to notice. It was like she was lost in another world. The stars seemed to glimmer in her eyes, as it the entirety of the night was thrust into her vision. They twinkled and played with her features like that of a young foal with a sparkler to shake. It must have thrown her into another world, because her wondrous eyes stared through the sky as if her sight could carry through to another universe.
I wish I had her eyes.
“Just be patient.” Fluttershy said to me, coolly breaking the silence with her lovely voice and soft-spoken mannerism. “Because it all starts about now.”
Remember what the world looked like when we escaped our house but a few hours ago? How beautiful it was? How marvelous it was? I didn’t think that it could get any better than that, ‘cuz how could it get better than that? There really wasn’t a way possible. Couldn’t have been. The world was going to be like that brilliant display in my eyes forevermore. I wanted it to be that way. Who wouldn’t want that to be in their life whenever they woke up? A crazy pony, that’s what I think. Nothing could have been more joyous or appealing.
I. Was. Dead. Wrong.
Suddenly, the moon seemed to come to a stop in its orbit directly overhead of Star Lake. I could see its entire form in the water, a full moon, seemingly magnified by the pond’s waters. The water itself went completely still, as if idled, like the calm before a storm, or a tiger waiting to pounce on unsuspecting prey. What happened next was what dreams can only dream of dreaming about when they dream.
An explosion of sparks flew from the waters, as if the stars themselves had shot straight down in a barrage of pure energy and light, and then bounced off of the stilled water and descended like burning snowflakes. The moon in the center was spinning like a ridiculously over-sized disco ball, like the one at Canterlot’s annual disco party, which is said to house the biggest one in all Equestria. Wrong. The flowers and the trees buckled in the sudden breeze that picked up, as if bowing before the awe-inspiring sight that they were privileged to behold. The stars reflected in the mirror that was the pond were so numerous in quantity that they could not be counted. Constellations could easily be picked out in the star-studded waters, if only I had known what some of them were.
As the fireflakes (that’s what I call them) gradually sank to the earth, the moon appeared to replace the fading light from them with its own intensity. Suddenly, the scene was so bright and vividly painted that I could count the petals on one of the flowers that harbors my name from across the pond. Ten, I counted on one of them. It was happily stretching to show me its full bloom. Some of the flowers even appeared to be dancing and wearing smiling faces, like in those old black and white cartoons. They waved to me, delighted by my being here, and I smiled awkwardly in return. The fireflakes descended fully, leaving the moonlight to gleam off of the waters and hit the surrounding trees with blinding force.
The scenery was like the clip out of a romance movie, one done so over the top that the cheesiest kiss would be tossed aside by critics in regard for the special effects in the background. As the fireflakes slowly burned into the earth, not leaving scorch marks or charred dirt or anything, the only thing anypony could really think about would be grabbing sompony special and hugging them tight. Pop wasn’t here with me, but somepony else was.
Without saying anything, I shuffled over to Fluttershy and I embraced her, which caused her to call out with the surprise. We fell down in the grasses together as the moonlight glanced off our bodies and struck our surroundings, tinting everything in a lavish royal blue.
“Thank you thank you thank you!” I said to Fluttershy as she let me hug her tightly. I pulled back from her to find that her eyes were glued open and her face was frozen in shock. “You don’t know how much this means to me!”
Fluttershy only stared at me in amazement. The halo of light that was produced around her made her look like an angel, but I have never seen an angel, so I can’t really know that for sure.
“I could just stay here forever!”
Fluttershy seemed to snap out of it as she turned to me, gazing into my eyes with a thin smirk on her face. “Oh, um, well there’s a lot more to the world than this... but whatever you want to do is fine.”
My smile must have stretched to the moon and back. “How much more?”
“A lot.”
“A lot?”
“Oh, yes.”
“Will you show me to a lot?
Now Fluttershy’s smile was fully displayed in the light, her pearly whites shining like a fluorescent light bulb. “That’s what I’m here for, I guess.” came her soothing voice. “So, um, yes, I will show it to you...”
I was so excited, ‘cuz my friend and I were gonna have adventures like this every day. I could not have been more enthralled by the news. Crossing this wonderful world, the aesthetics sometimes too much to take in, and with my best friend. It just made me wonder... what else is out there?
“Oh, and, um, Daisy?” Fluttershy whispered. She gently raised a hoof over my head, like she was going to pet me or something. I flinched, ‘cuz I thought she was just being weird. “I think that you have a daisy in your mane...” She giggled. I sighed. “Here, let me get that for you.”
o----o
Song: Wonderwall
By: Oasis
And every day that you want to waste, you want to waste you can And every day that you want to wake up, you want to wake you can
Fluttershy and I awoke the next morning to the sun burning brightly through the treeline. We both bolted upright, viciously blinking at the harsh light that seeped into our eyelids, thinking that flailing our hooves wildly at it would drive it away. The dew from the grasses had matted our coats, and our manes were tarnished with grass blades and flower petals. Luna’s wondrous night had been replaced by Celestia’s vivid day, as if before were all a dream. Fluttershy and I wobbled to our hooves, our tummies rumbling for something to eat. Then again maybe that was just my tummy.
“What have I got in the knapsack...” I murmured to myself as I whirled around and tore open the sack I had been using as a pillow. I rummaged through its contents, searching for something suitable for breakfast. “No, no... nooo,” I said as I tossed aside crayons and squirt guns and other indigestible trinkets. “Well, I didn’t pack the oats. I always have to forget something.”
Fluttershy rubbed at her eyes and yawned. She stretched out her forelegs to full length, displaying her unnatural flexibility. “Hm. Um, there’s a town called St. Cloud not too far from here... we could go there for breakfast... I think.”
Suddenly I wished that I had brought a map. “St. Cloud, you say?” I looked through the gap in the trees, back from whence we came. Viewing everything in the daylight now just felt like an entirely different world. “Which way is that?”
Fluttershy pointed in a direction that I had hoped was much farther away from the house. I grabbed the Daring Do compass I had obtained from a cereal box way back and turned in that direction, only to discover she was pointing due east. Who knew if this thing even worked?
“They have breakfast?” I asked Fluttershy, putting on my not so adventure face. She wearily nodded her head and yawned again, coaxing me to do the same in the following moment.
“Oh, yes, there are lots of diners in St. Cloud. No doubt we can find somepony who can help us...” Fluttershy assured me.
Once again, I turned off in the direction of this neighboring town called St. Cloud. If it was anything like the small village I lived in, it would have some sort of diner or some sort of confectionery shop or something like that. The thought of it made my tummy growl in anticipation.
“How far away is it?” I asked, using my hooves as makeshift binoculars though I couldn’t see anything but more trees through the gap.
“Umm... maybe a few miles or so. It shouldn’t be too far...”
“Hm.” I muttered, pondering. I stuffed my ‘binoculars’ into my ‘pocket’. “Good. I say we start to hoof it before we run out of supplies. We don’t wanna get caught out here where we’re subject to exhaustion.”
I could hear Fluttershy’s hooves rustling around in the grasses from behind me. “Um, excuse me, but it isn’t too far away. We shouldn’t need to use up any-”
“ONWARD!” I interjected, pretending like I was some kind of captain of the Royal Guard. I strode off toward the gap in the trees, realizing that I had no idea where I was supposed to be going.
“Oh... um... okay.”
o----o
Fluttershy and I left Star Lake behind and trotted back out to the pathway. Now that it was daytime, the lack of light that had made everything feel like a lucid dream last night were now clearer and more distinct, and I could visualize the textures in the trees and grasses and path. From what I could tell, the path wound through the trees and a few fields, apparently eventually leading to a village by the name of St. Cloud, which I had no idea existed til now. Fluttershy and I started along the pathway, on our way to an uncertain future... which hopefully consisted of breakfast.
“When was the last time you were in St. Cloud?” I asked Fluttershy, who was trailing me as we trotted at a rather speedy pace down the path.
“Oh... a long time ago, I’m not sure if I even remember what it looks like...”
“Hm, noted.” I reached into my knapsack, slowly drawing out one of the squirt guns that I had brought along (the blue one), so that I could keep it on my pony. “In that case, we can never be too careful. There could be monsters crawling around the place by now.”
I could sense Fluttershy's ears perk up. “M-m-monsters?”
I put on a look of determination as I cocked by squirt gun, if that was possible, ‘cuz I knew that if we had to face anything, then we would have to defend ourselves. “Yeah. Nothin’ we shouldn’t be able to handle.” I turned my head around to face Fluttershy, and I could see that she was staring at the dirt that made up the composition of the path. “Don’t you fret, I got this.”
“Well, there weren’t any monsters last time I went... but maybe we should go somewhere else now... you know, um... just in case.”
I laughed. “Huh? No way! A few monsters won’t stop us from getting our breakfast.”
Fluttershy’s eyes were darting back and forth as she peered into the long grasses around us and the thick branches in the trees. She seemed unsure of herself. I turned my head back around so that I could see where I was going.
“Um... if you insist...” Fluttershy said softly, her voice barely audible over the chirping of the birds and the whistling of the wind. The grasses and the trees swayed gently in the breeze, and looking on down the path made me realize that I still hadn’t an idea of where I was going.
After trotting for a few more paces, I stopped abruptly and put a dumb look on my face. “Perhaps you should lead, though.” I said to the dirt. I waited until Fluttershy had sauntered over to my side, her hoofsteps so light they couldn’t be heard at all. She stole a quick glance at me out of the corner of her eye before shifting her gaze back out to the path ahead of us.
“Oh... um, I’m not so sure...” she muttered, her stare into the distance cold and seemingly devoid of life.
“Nonsense,” I told her, turning to face her, “you said that you would lead the way, right?”
Fluttershy’s cheeks turned red, “Oh... you remember that?”
“Of course I do, it was like, yesterday. Literally.”
Fluttershy had a look on her face that was similar to the regret of something gone woefully wrong. I didn’t understand her, ‘cuz she said that she was willing to lead. Was she scared of monsters? “Yes, um... oh, I suppose I did, didn’t I...” she said, sort of recoiling at her own comment.
“C’mon, it’ll be fun!” I said to her. I reached for her hoof and grabbed it, tugging it forward as if an askance of her to proceed. “You said that it was only a few miles away, and I’m really hungry!”
o----o
After a bit of begging... and perhaps some bribing, I finally got Fluttershy to lead the way. We trotted off toward another sight waiting to be beheld and gawked at, to which my excitement may have gotten the better of my judgement. From how Fluttershy described the town (‘cuz I made her describe the town to calm her down) it sounded like a pleasant little place. Chimneys huffing and puffing smoke from their snouts to warm the folks inside. Houses painted in funny pastel colors, ‘cuz that seemed to be the norm anywhere we went. Smiling faces saying ‘howdy-doody’ wherever you walked, ‘cuz that’s how I thought ponies should greet one another. It’s not like I really went into different towns anymore, not since Pop died anyway, so this was nice. I just needed to get Fluttershy to relax was all.
But Fluttershy seemed to be hesitant to talk the entire way there. She mouthed words like some sort of robot, as if she had rehearsed her description of St. Cloud before, and she were practicing it again for the millionth time. I trotted along beside her at her lackadaisical pace, pondering the astonishing feat of her being able to trot along with her eyelids shut. There were several occasions where I thought she would trip over a stray rock or even a blade of grass sticking up through the path (she was rather clumsy). She bypassed all hazards with wondrous grace, but could very well have been perceived by others as dumb luck. All the while, she kept reminding me of how great St. Cloud was, not a hint at monsters or anything vile that I might have needed my gun for. I kept it at the ready... just in case.
Upon approaching a slight hill, I noticed that a few towers of thick, black smoke were beginning to veil the sky. They rose up high into the air, seemingly forming the cloud cover. It blotted out the sun in some parts. It certainly wasn’t all that cold out, but those must have been coming from the chimneys on the houses that Fluttershy had been talking about. Now why would they need those in the middle of springtime? Ah well, maybe St. Cloud was full of wackos, how else could you describe a town of perfectly happy brightly colored ponies?
When Fluttershy and I made it to the top of the hillside, I stopped dead in my tracks. Fluttershy was on her way forward before I snatched hold of her tail and yanked her back. She yelped and immediately covered her head with her hooves. I barely noticed her. I was awed by the sight before me... but in a totally different way than before.
“Fluttershy...” I said, a hint of shock in my trembling voice, “I thought you said that St. Cloud was similar to where we lived...”
Fluttershy had her eyes held shut like she was hiding behind an impenetrable wall. “I did. Why? Are there monsters!?” She began to shake violently.
“No...” I said. “No, it isn’t monsters.” I put a hoof on Fluttershy’s shoulder, as if that would help her any at all. “Um, but you really might wanna take a look at this. I don’t think that it’s anything like how you remember it...”
o----o
Song: Waste
By: Foster the People
When the lights go out Will you take me with you And carry all this broken bone Through six years down in crowded rooms And highways I call home?
The place that Fluttershy had described before? That place that was supposedly fairly similar to Ponyville? I was looking forward to getting there, ‘cuz I was so hungry and the town sounded nice. When I said that monsters might have lived there, I didn’t actually mean it... I was only being silly. But looking at this place, I was kind of, well, stunned. Because that little town with the neat little chimneys and the cozy little cottages?
This place wasn’t it.
“Fluttershy... I-I really think you should look at this...”
Fluttershy was busy keeping her head buried in her hooves. She was shaking all over the place, like she was trying to force herself to become hidden. “Oh, no, that’s okay. You can watch for me.”
I snapped out of my state of shock so that I could reach down and prod at Fluttershy, causing her to whimper in a funny way. She recoiled at my touch, as if my hooves were freezing cold. “Fluttershy...” I said in the softest tone I could manage, “There aren’t any monsters... it’s just... the town.”
Fluttershy dared to take a peek through her hooves, and she must have caught sight of the smoke. “Eep!” she squeaked out, immediately plugging the small peephole she had created. She tousled her mane so that it fully cloaked her face.
I nearly agreed with her, ‘cuz that’s what I wanted to do. But the truth was, I didn’t know how to react. This was a lot to take in. I did know one thing, though. This place was no longer a little village. It was a full on thriving, hustling, bustling city.
The little smokestacks on the houses had turned into humongous spires that rose into the sky and emitted thick, black steam that coated the air. The cottages themselves had transformed into spacious buildings that resembled warehouses, and they stretched on for miles and miles. Everything was brick piled upon brick. There were no longer any colors. The pavement and the roads were dreary and bleak, with the occasional light post that stood upright at every other street corner. Hundreds of ponies could be seen swarming the avenues, ponies of which I had never seen the likes of before. Their colors were drained from them, making them blend in perfectly to their surroundings. Wagons ferried those that weren’t walking around up the streets, and they looked as if they could hold at least six ponies per. I couldn’t see any diners at all, every building looked like it was built to manufacture blimps or harbor them even. All this could be seen from our small, insignificant, bright and sunny hillside.
“Yeah, I don’t know either...” I said to nopony in particular. I could feel Fluttershy’s tremors snaking through the dirt and up into my hooves. I tried to shake them off. “Welp. Time to go.”
I dropped my knapsack and squirt gun to the ground. Fluttershy yelped as I attempted to pull her to her hooves. She was very light, but she was also very slippery. I had to use both of my hooves to get a good grip on her, and I had to tug to get her up.
“B-b-b-but you saw the d-d-dragon s-smoke!” she said in exasperation as I continued to fight with her. “Why w-would you go in there!?”
I paused with a grimace on my face, my hooves still wrapped securely around Fluttershy’s body. I looked out at the towering pillars of smoke. “It isn’t dragon smoke. It’s coming from a factory or something.”
“A factory where they make d-dragons!?” Fluttershy cut in. She whipped opened her eyes, and they were narrowed in panic. She went stiff.
I sighed. “No, a factory where they make puppies.”
Fluttershy hung limp in my grasp. She had stopped squirming and just stared blankly out over cityscape. “Oh... really?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes. And they also make gummy bears and horses that have no name.”
“Horses?”
“Heck if I know.”
Fluttershy paused, and we shared a time of silence between the two of us. She then unbuckled my hooves from around her frame and took an uneasy step forward. She gulped and lifted her head high. “Okay... then let’s do it.”
Fluttershy began to trot away. I cocked my head to the side in confusion. “Fluttershy, I was being sarcas-”
Fluttershy turned back to look at me, her eyes pleading for more information.
“I mean, uh, let’s go!”
o----o
Fluttershy and I trotted down the hillside and into the city of St. Cloud. We were immediately swept away in the commotion of the ponies there, as they all swam through the crowd to wherever they were going, pushing and shoving each other, unlike anywhere else I’ve ever been. I kept a close watch on Fluttershy, as she was truly freaking out, and I had to pretty much hold her through the entire process. She stared down at the hooves of the denizens, apologizing to the pavement whenever she brushed up against somepony.
“Watch it!” One of them hollered, giving me a lasting stare before getting washed away in the crowd again. Me? What did I do? These ponies apparently had some nerve. Fluttershy only cringed as I held her. Everypony was giving me strange looks as I walked with Fluttershy up the street, clearing a way for her.
“Watch what!? You should be more specific!” I yelled back, very belated, which led to more strange looks. Shoot. I always come up with comebacks too late.
Fluttershy had her eyes shut tight again. I think the only thing that was getting her through the crowd was me being by her side, like I was giving her something to cling on to... both literally and mentally. I continued to weave my way through, just following wherever the crowd took me, ‘cuz I was much too weak to shove back.
“We need to find someplace to go,” I said to Fluttershy as we turned a corner, onto another street that looked about as same as the last. I tried to poke my head out over the much taller ponies of St. Cloud to no avail. “Be on the lookout for a diner... er... something .”
Fluttershy still had her eyes closed, but I at least gave her the proximity she needed. Everypony trotting up the street gave us weird looks as we went, sometimes trying to circle around us or making some room for us. I think that’s because they weren’t used to seeing foals around. Speaking of which, I didn’t even see any foals out. Nopony in this town looked as if they were even carrying any family with them, they were all just... alone.
As we turned another corner, things started to look more promising. There were a few signs up on some much smaller buildings, evidently belonging to stores and shops and maybe even restaurants. As we started to near one of the signs, I grabbed Fluttershy and flung her closer to me, if possible, and I darted toward it.
“Hold on!” I said as I carried her along. She squeaked out something that I couldn’t quite make out as I jubilantly hopped toward the sign, getting disturbed looks and unruly gestures from everypony as I crossed their path. In some instances, I was almost thrown to the ground by some of the ponies in a real hurry. But I never fell. We eventually made it over to a sign that said “The Dash’n Dine” without too much of a fuss, not for what I was expecting however.
“Okay...” I said, catching my breath, “Look, we’re here! Let’s get something to eat, I’m starved!”
Fluttershy dared to open her eyes to find that we were out of the main stream of traffic, and next to a brick wall that had the diner sign displayed on it. The front doors were a couple of yards to our left. I was growing eager, ‘cuz it was well past breakfast time, well into lunch by now, really. My tummy rumbled just for extra measure.
“Let’s go, c’mon!” I put a bright smile onto my face.
Fluttershy realized that she didn’t have much of a choice. Get trampled underhoof by the flock of unobservant ponies, or follow me into the “Dash’n Dine”. I turned around and waved my hoof forward, and she quickly decided to go with option two.
Fluttershy and I pushed our way through the double doors and into the diner. We were greeted by something not unlike the outside world, the inside was cold, unimpressive, and a bit of an eye-sore. Only difference here was, and this was strange, it was darker than it was outside. The lighting was so dim I could barely make out anypony sitting in the place. Fluttershy just blinked as she tried to adjust to the lighting... and the sudden shift in the beauty that we had seen just the night before.
A waitress in a dark grey coat (that I wasn’t so sure of, everything looked a dark grey) walked over to us, smiling a smile that looked as though it could dissipate at any given moment. She stopped in front of us and grabbed what looked like a menu.
“Just yourself today?” The waitress asked me, looking at me with hint of disdain.
“And my friend here,” I replied, putting my foreleg around Fluttershy’s neck. The waitress only took a slight glance at Fluttershy before she smiled awkwardly and turned around, grabbing another menu as she spun. It was apparent that we should follow.
She led us to a small booth at the other side of the diner and sat us down, placing the menu’s before us. I thanked her as she spun back around and mosied off. Fluttershy and I were left alone to talk.
“Alright... so, uh... what happened?” I asked, splaying my hooves out onto the counter as if the gesture was a question in itself.
Fluttershy slunk back into her seat, pressing herself into the rather obtrusive fabric material that the booth was composed of. She let out a seemingly hollow breath of air. “I, um, don’t know. Nothing here is like it used to be.”
I took a quick look at my surroundings. “That’s for sure.”
Fluttershy fidgeted in her seat some, like she just wasn’t comfortable with anything at all. She began to play with her mane. “This place used to be full of wonderful little cottages and cute little bunnies and even smiling ponies,” she told me. She looked around at everypony, taking in their similarities in appearance. She noticed that somepony else had caught her eye, and she immediately turned away and whimpered almost inaudibly. “Oh, it is so different now.”
I reflected back on what I had seen. All of those suspicious looking warehouses... I wonder what they were used for. What could they be making that produced so much smoke? The ponies around here were obviously big worker ponies. They seemed to consist of the entire population. How had this town become such a way from what it once was?
I then became lost in my thoughts. I felt like I was missing something. This city was so huge, I couldn’t see the end of it from when we had been at the top of the hill. Oh, shoot.
Well, there goes my knapsack...
But there was something else as well. I had to think all the way back to the cottage, back to the rain. I thought about that moment, that moment that would last forever. I thought about Mum reading the paper, looking for jobs. I thought about Mum... suddenly, I had wondered why Mum didn’t try to come here for a job.
Why wouldn’t she come here for a job?
Oh... SHOOT!
I went bug-eyed as I stared at Fluttershy, causing her to arch an eyebrow in concern. She leaned forward into the table some. “Is there something wrong?” she asked me.
“Mum,” I muttered in my sudden realization, “Mum! If she was looking for jobs, why wouldn’t she just come here?”
Fluttershy didn’t seem to quite get it. “Um, well, yes. I suppose that would be the brightest way to go about it. This place does seem to have quite a lot of important business ponies...”
I shot a quirked look her way. I flung my hooves up in the air in an attempt to make her “get it” without me having to spell it out in flamboyant, shiny blue letters.
Then, I saw the light bulb click on in her head. As soon as it lit up, it exploded, sending shards of glass shooting across the room to everyone’s ignorance. “Oh.”
“We should get outta here.” I shoved the menu away from me for absolutely no reason. I was prepared to forget about breakfast or lunch or whatever, just so that I could get as far away from home as possible. It was now that I realized that’s what we should have been doing the whole time.
Before we could get up to go, the waitress that had seated us came back, this time with and elderly colt who appeared to be the manager. He was wearing an aged smile as he meagerly shuffled over to us, bumping the head of the table where we were just about to make our escape. He wore a vest festooned with numerous, flashy buttons, and he set his hoof down on the table as if he couldn’t stand without support. I suddenly had a sinking feeling in my gut, and unfortunately, it wasn’t haycakes going down my tummy.
“How are ya, missy? What brings ya to this ‘ol diner here?” the manager asked me. The color of his eyes had faded through the years, and his mouth continued to gyrate whenever he finished talking.
I didn’t respond to him. I looked at Fluttershy, trying to find the answer displayed on her face. It wasn’t there.
“Hm. It’s okay to talk to me. I won’t hurt ya,” he continued. “I’m the manager of this here establishment, family owned for a hundred years. I just wanted to stop by and have a little chat,” he said. The waitress then nudged him in the side. The manager grunted, taking the effort to twist his head to face his employee. The waitress gave a curt nod at Fluttershy, grimacing slightly. The manager turned to Fluttershy, squinting. “Oh, yes, and your friend here.”
I stayed silent. I tried to make out all of the scribbles and cracks in the darkened ceiling.
The manager stirred, bringing both of his hooves up to the countertop. He sighed. “Is your father here, someone we can talk to?”
Suddenly, I found the courage to glare at him. “We don’t have a Pop,” I deadpanned, making sure he knew just where he was going with this.
“Ah,” he replied. He put a hoof to his face. “How ‘bout your mother then?”
I sourly turned away, pretending I had a window to stare out of. “We don’t have a mother neither,” I lied. Something about my tone of voice scared even me.
“Hm.” The elder pony looked at Fluttershy, admiring her, scanning her. It was like he was trying to find something out about her just by looking at her. He then turned back to me. “Violet, could you fetch us some waters and some haycakes?” he asked, obviously regarding his waitress. The way he said “haycakes” made me shiver.
The waitress looked confused for a moment before the light bulb clicked on inside her head. She reversed herself and left us.
The manager huffed a deep breath, perhaps worn out from having to walk out from wherever he had come from. It must be sad, being old. “Do you gals mind if I take a seat?” he asked us. His body emitted moans from his bones as they once again complied to perform the task at hoof. “It looks like you could use the company.”
o----o
Song: Summertime
By: My Chemical Romance
Up on melancholy hill There’s a plastic tree Are you here with me? Just looking out on the day Of another dream
The elderly colt struggled to lift himself before he fully sat down next to me. He had a musty odor about him, a familiar old pony smell that had only grown accustomed to my senses through frequent visits to nana’s house. I turned away at the sudden overpowering stench. I just wasn’t used to it anymore, ‘cuz I hadn’t been to nana’s house in so long.
‘Cuz Mum never bothered to tell me that she had passed, and I had to figure it out for myself.
He peered through scrawny eyes out over the countertop. It looked as though he couldn’t see a thing, his pupils were endless pits of nothingness. It was like staring into a starless sky, an never-ending black hole. Personally, I felt he could make a decent scarecrow. I kept that thought to myself.
“So, fillies,” the elderly colt wheezed, “do you live here?”
I raised an eyebrow. “No. I’d think you’d know if you had two mares living in your own restaurant,” I said dryly. What a silly question. I wanted to bonk him on the head.
The manager let out a hearty chuckle. “No, no.” He whammed a hoof down into the table. “What I meant was, do you live in St. Cloud somewhere?” He folded his hooves in his lap, then shrugged his shoulders, awaiting my response.
I started to foalishly fiddle with my hooves. I stared at them like I didn’t have any interest in whatever stinky over there was talking about (‘cuz I kinda didn’t anyway). “No. We’re just visiting.”
The manager frowned. “Hm. Well, where are your guardians, if I may ask?” he asked. I didn’t really understand. He asked before he asked if he could ask. Ow. My brain.
“Guardians?” I replied. “What do you mean, guardians? Like angels?”
The manager snorted. He coughed heavily twice, holding a hoof to his face. “No,” he said, the episode over, “like parental figures. Who do you live with?”
I decided to look at him and give him a smile. “My friend here!” I emphatically answered, gesturing to the other side of the table.
“Mhm. But do you have anypony else?”
“No, not really.”
“So you’re alone here in St. Cloud?”
“I’m not alone!”
The manager sighed. He rested his head on one of his hooves and leaned into the table. “So you and your ‘friend’ here are all alone?”
I didn’t really like the way he said ‘friend’. “Yup. I guess so.”
Just then, Violet came back with three waters filled to the point of spilling over on a carrying tray. She set the tray down on the table, drops of water sent over the edges, and the manager drearily distributed them to himself, Fluttershy, and myself in respect. After handing them out, he whispered something into Violet’s ear, and then he thanked her out loud. I couldn’t make out what he had said. Violet shrugged, spun, and left.
“What’s your friend’s name?” the now visibly less joyous colt asked, jumping right back into the conversation.
I responded swiftly and clearly. “Fluttershy.”
Upon hearing the name, the scarecrow suddenly seemed to lose all emotion. He stared blankly at his glass of water. I felt things suddenly get darker. If any more colors from the room could have been drained, they would have been coming from him. I thought he had just died for a moment. I wanted to poke him, just to be sure he was still alive, but decided otherwise. Then, he showed signs of life, thank goodness. His forehead scrunched like he had encountered a strange memory. His lips quivered. He looked cold.
The manager swung his gaze to where Fluttershy was sitting. “F-Fluttershy?” he murmured.
“One and only!” I responded. I directed my gaze to his ornamented vest. “Hey! Cool button!” I proclaimed, pointing to one of the many pins attached to his apparel.
The scarecrow looked straight down, gesturing to the pin of my admiration. He said nothing, he only pointed at it, as if mutely asking ‘this one?’.
“Wher’d ya get it?” I asked, now feeling a bit more bubbly, willing to talk to somepony. I smiled again.
The manager fumbled for words. “I, uh...” He cleared his throat. “I got it from someone very special to me.”
I cheesed. “Aw! Like a marefriend?” I asked.
I wasn’t so sure, but I thought I could see a drop of water that had spilled out onto his cheek. Must have been from his glass. “You could say that,” was all he replied.
o----o
After about twenty more minutes, we had haycakes. They were scrumptious, I devoured every morsel with a vigor that I didn’t even realize I had. I must have been really hungry. Fluttershy, on the other hoof, did not seem tempted to try them. She must have been a picky eater, and she also must have had a very strong stomach. I would have eaten the bark off of a tree if I had to go another day.
“How are they?” the manager asked, watching me mindlessly throw the food down my throat without so much as a single chewing motion.
With a mouthful, I loudly chomped “Grayff!”
The manager chuckled. He seemed to be constantly checking the front door, as if in a fit of paranoia. Violet could be seen standing near the doorway, checking a hoofwatch she had on.
“Eat your fill,” he said, turning back to me. “This one’s on me.”
I suddenly felt like a foal. How could I have been so stupid. “Oh. Well that’s good. ‘Cuz I don’t have any bits,” I said somberly.
The manager gave a half-smile. “I know.”
I set my silverware back down on the table, suddenly losing my appetite. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” the old colt replied. “Eat up. Please, eat up.”
As the colt once again glanced out at the door, I could see that he now kept his gaze fixated there for a longer period of time. I followed his line of sight to the doorway to see two surly colts in black suits and black fedoras, chatting it up with Violet as she nervously continued to talk. I had a weird feeling suddenly, and I couldn’t place it.
In a flash, and faster than I even thought the manager could even move, he turned to me and took my hoof. I blinked, thoroughly surprised, yet I willed it to happen. The manager struggled with his vest, tugging at the pin of my fancy from earlier, apparently trying to yank it off. Upon several failed attempts, he succeeded at last, and he stuck the pin firmly in my hooves.
I stared at it. I didn’t know what to do.
“Take this,” the manager said to me, looking dead on into my eyes. “Take this, and never let it go.”
“B-but... your pin?” I stuttered.
“No,” he replied. “I want you to have it.” He looked across the table again. “And Fluttershy as well.”
Fluttershy stared into the eyes of the colt, like a fond memory was being played out in both of their heads. I had no idea what in the hoof was going on.
“This her?”
I looked up. Suddenly, two surly looking colts in black vests and black fedoras were standing at the head of the table. They were scary looking. I felt like they could be the bad guys in one of those black and white movies.
“This is her,” the manager replied. “I ask that you keep her safe.”
“Mr. Manager?” I asked hesitantly, feeling a pit deep in my stomach. “What’s going on?”
The scarecrow turned to me, looking into my eyes again. “See these friendly colts here?” he asked, gesturing to the not so friendly looking colts. I nodded. “These guys are here to take you to someplace where you can make new friends and live a normal life,” he said. “Someplace where you don’t have to worry about bits.”
I looked at the colts and waved a timid hoof. They forced a smile and waved back robotically.
“They are going to take you to your new home,” the manager added.
The manager leapt out of his seat, surprisingly agile for somepony his age. The end of the booth was replaced by one of the bigger colts with open hooves.
I frowned. “What if I don’t wanna go?” I asked foalishly, my voice squeaking.
The manager shook his head back and forth. “You have to go, sweetie,” he told me. “You have to.”
I didn’t like this. I didn’t like this one bit.
I pressed myself back into the corner. “No... no, I don’t wanna go!” I shouted. All eyes and ears in the restaurant were suddenly turned our direction. I ignored them.
“Please don’t make us do this the hard way, miss,” one of the burly, muscle ripped colts said. “We won’t hurt ya. We’re here to help you.”
“And your friend, too,” the other one added.
I looked over at Fluttershy. She was staring at the table. She was frozen solid.
“No!” I hollered.
“Hard way it is,” the colt said. He deftly reached into the booth seat and grabbed for me.
I flailed. I hit him. I thrashed as he easily lifted me up into his grasp. I struggled as he slung me over his shoulder. I squirmed as everypony watched me scream and kick and buck as hard as I possibly could. Nothing worked. I was too weak. He was way too strong.
Mum must have been behind this.
“Fluttershy!” I waved my forelegs at her. She looked at me, her eyes shimmering and desolate. “Help! Follow us!”
I didn’t know what would happen at first. Fluttershy looked lost. But, being the friend she is, she abruptly whirred past everypony, and she swiftly trotted to our side. I wasn’t sure why the other one wasn’t carrying her as well. Probably ‘cuz they knew she’d follow.
Thank you , I mimed with my mouth. I felt water form in my eyes. It was a familiar sensation that I should have mastered in holding back in the past few years, but I hadn't yet. No. I began to cry. I cried into the shoulder of this stranger, my tears staining his greyish coat. I hit him one last time.
He probably deserved it.
Then I went limp. I felt something jostle around in my grasp at that instant. I clutched it tighter and I brought it up to my face. It was the pin. It was the pin the manager gave me before he sent me away. I stared at it, wondering why he wanted me to have it so bad. It was so special to him, why let me have it?
The pin was glossy and shiny. The pin had a tear drip onto it. I gazed at it. I marveled it. I twirled it around in my hooves, the image blurry in my teary eyes.
But I could certainly make out possibly the coolest design I had ever seen. A cloud with a lightning bolt shooting out of it, striped with three different colors: red, yellow, and blue. They were the only three colors in the entire world right now.
o----o
Song: On Melancholy Hill
By: Gorrillaz
When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me. Speaking words of wisdom, Let it be.
The walls were a pale, washed out grey. They rose up twenty feet until they connected to the ceiling, which was composed of the same, dreary, concrete-like material. There was nothing here. There was nothing else that could be told about the place, other than the lights stung and they seemed to only enhance the dismal nature of our surroundings to a certain degree. The floor was cold. Every labored step sent a shockwave of chills through my spine, fully engulfing me in an attempt to get me to unravel. Giving up seemed to be an easy thing to accomplish here. The room seemed to have given up on itself already. The room must have been where dreams went to die.
Twelve pairs of eyes stared as I entered the room. Twelve colorless, hopeless, emotionless eyes, all watching as two newcomers invaded their windowless abode. We must have looked barbaric. We must have looked imposing. We must have looked... different. All of the foals, ‘cuz they were all foals, watched as Fluttershy and I came in, perhaps shining like a ray of hope off in the distance, far out of reach for any real dreamer to very well get to. We stopped in the middle of the floor, like models, everypony subject to judge us and lust for us. The icy grip of the floor now produced a numbness in my hooves, complete with a lingering, tingling sensation. Everypony watched with lifeless eyes, their coats as dull and grey as the walls. Fluttershy and I must have looked like a fantasy, like a fantastical apparition that appeared as lively and real as daylight itself.
‘Cuz if you don’t blend in... you blend out.
“This is your new home for a while,” one of the abominations to ponykind declared to us as he left us at the center of the room. “It’s a lot safer than being outside on your own, and perhaps you can make some new friends.”
Great... but whoever said that I wanted to be safe?
The door slammed from behind us after that. A couple of the lights in the ceiling above flickered and flashed in intermittent strobes of light. Shadows danced on the barren walls. Ponies gazed at us in wonder and amazement. I finally got the hint: here we are. Welcome to the pit. This place was a terrible spirit crusher of a facility, and it should have housed only the worst of criminals, not fourteen defenseless foals.
Fluttershy crossed to one of the many empty cots that sat in the room. They were the only things that occupied the room, other than the only life forms it contained. A couple of the other ponies followed her with their eyes as she went. She sat down on it and made herself as comfortable as the concrete it was made out of would allow. She winced slightly as she settled on it, it must not have been all too comfy.
But at least somepony could see her...
Myself? I was shaking. I didn’t know what to do, ‘cuz when you get to a new place, you just need some time to adjust. But I wasn’t going to adjust to this place. I already wanted to get out. Some sort of weird, unavoidable feeling formed in my gut, telling me to flee as fast as I possibly could, carrying Fluttershy on my backside if I had to. I wished that the walls would just crumble before us, and we could immediately leave as everypony dumbly stared at the gaping hole in their midst. We did it once before... could we do it again?
I already assumed that everypony in the room was dumb. They all shuffled about uncomfortably on their cots, gazing at us as if we were something to be gawked at. It was a disturbing feeling, really. Twelve scrawny pairs of dilated slits for pupils glaring at me as I stood unobstructed in the middle of the floor. And they were all going to watch as Fluttershy and I escaped. I was going to make sure of it. ‘Cuz it had to be done.
Who were these foals, anyway? Did it matter?
I realized that I had been awkwardly standing in the center of the floor for some time now. My head fell to my hooves. I held the manager’s button under my hoof so that nopony could see it. It would have probably caused them all to cry out in shock, seeing more colors than they perhaps ever had. It might have been too much for their dull little hearts to handle, and they might just spontaneously explode. Though the curiously dodgy situation sounded comical, in a sense, I decided that I didn’t want that.
Instead, I forced myself to move over to the cot Fluttershy had taken up. Apparently the spot was vacant, nopony stopped her from taking it over. And if somepony did try to take it back I wouldn’t hesitate to resort to growling or snarling at them. She was curled up on the lumpy mattress, taking uneven breaths, staring at the stone wall like a portal into an abysmal neverland. I couldn’t say anything. I tried, I opened my mouth to... but nothing came out. We were trapped in a prison for foals, and we had done nothing wrong. It was like forced daycare. What did they want from us other than to keep us “safe”? And what was I supposed to say?
As I stood motionless before my friend, I couldn’t help but feel sorry. I had dragged us into a forsaken land that we should have bypassed from the get-go. But I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t stop myself. I should have known better than to just waltz into a huge city where something sinister could lurk at every corner. But I didn’t listen to my better judgment. We could be out in the sunshine, picking lilies and bluebelles out of each other’s manes. Instead we’re caged in a dungeon with a bunch of mutes.
With one twist of the neck, Fluttershy turned to me. My mouth still moved to speak, but I said nothing. I only stared into her glorious eyes, and they stared back at me. They were telling me one thing, which made me feel utterly hopeless and selfish. I almost collapsed from the pain her eyes brought to me.
They were telling me she was sorry as well.
I plopped right down on the rock-hard mattress, directly next to my best friend in the whole wide world. I put my hoof around her neck as she turned her gaze to the floor, staring at it like her nana’s coffin were buried under it. I sighed. I buried my muzzle into her mane, just so that the other’s couldn’t see the tears that were coming out of my eyes, signifying that I was easy prey. Fluttershy stay still. She let her shoulder be mine to cry on. I let my emotions flow freely.
Amidst sobs, I remembered that I still had that pin. That mysterious pin that was given to me for no apparent reason. Or wasn’t it given to me for some sort of reason? What was I supposed to do with it? What was it? All that I knew, was that it looked pretty cool, so I decided that I should tell the scarecrow. But then he gave it to me when he heard Fluttershy’s name? What happened there?
I could find out right now.
I overturned my hoof, revealing the pin glinting in the artificial light. Fluttershy looked away from the floor, to my hoof, and she gasped. I took my face out of her mane with a final tentative breath as we both looked down at the pin in my grasp. The adorable pink maned pegasus looked about ready to cry. I was already doing that. Misery seems to love company; St. Cloud seems to have misery down pat.
In between a couple of stymied breaths, I spoke up.
“Fluttershy...” I asked. “W-what does this mean?”
o----o
Song: Let it Be
By: The Beatles
And I can feel it Coming back again Like a rolling Thunder chasing the wind Forces brewing from the Center of the earth again I can feel it
“H-her name was Rainbow Dash...” Fluttershy said dispassionately, gazing at the far wall of the room through glossy eyes. Her figure seemed to be fading in and out, like a flickering light at the end of a hallway.
“What?” I responded. “What do you mean? What does that hafta do with anything?”
Fluttershy looked weak. She fell her eyes to the floor. “Um... the pin. The one you have. Oh, um... it, it belonged to a... um,” she paused and took a deep breath. “friend of mine.”
I was reeling, ‘cuz how was it that some random manager in some random cafe knew Fluttershy’s friend? How did he know her? “A friend? Like one of your old friends?” I asked. I took a look around the room. Everypony was staring at us, making the situation awkward. “What does the pin have to do with her?”
“Oh. It’s her cutie mark.”
Her cutie mark?
I rolled the pin around in my hooves. The metallic substance was warm from my constant pressure on it, and it invoked a feeling almost troublesome in nature. I felt devious upon wielding it. It felt heavy, as if the metal itself were made out of something more than just... metal. I couldn’t place it, but holding it made me feel... different.
“So?”
Fluttershy turned to look at me, her features wistful and drawn. “Um... so what?”
“So why is it that somepony who I never met before all of a sudden wants to give me a pin ‘cuz he heard your name?” I asked her, breathless, desiring answers like a lawyer on the case. “Does that seem normal to you?”
Fluttershy’s eyes darted to the far corner of the room. “Um, no, I guess not.”
I sighed. I wiped away a tear that never fully formed. “So tell me?”
Fluttershy only shuffled around on the bed, fluffing the unfluffable mattress in an effort to stall for time. “Oh, I don’t know...”
“Fluttershy, look at me.”
Fluttershy’s eyes were trained on the floor, in part to avoid the creeping stares of the others, and in part to avoid me. Her gaze seemed to bounce off the floor and strike the far wall. It didn’t really matter, everywhere you looked you were looking at the same thing.
“Fluttershy.”
The pegasus with the flared pink mane lifted her head, and she flicked an ear my direction, signifying she was with me. I could see her eyes appeared to be shining, as if they had been dipped into a pool of water.
I scooted over her way more. “Tell me.”
o----o
“H-hey guys...”
I smiled sweetly at her, the once prismatic and prideful pegasus. She looked dreadful, her tousled mane sagging over her eyes and her frame beaten with age and overuse, her bones fragile and her eyes glazed over. Her breaths were harsh and rasped, she wheezed whenever she spoke, and she coughed constantly. Her cyan feathers were falling off, floating lightly to the floor, landing with pristine grace and beauty; I remember seeing them.That was about all that was beauteous about that moment. We were letting her go.
I remember Applejack sitting on the other side of the bed, hoof in hoof with her friend, sobbing quietly, gently, as AJ so genuinely did on such horrendous occasions. The strong-willed earth pony was so strong... seeing her give in to her emotions was rare, and her tears came few and far between. Her hat was lying next to the head of the ill-fated pegasus, letting Applejack’s blonde mane scatter about her face, her eyes shut and her freckled face stained with spilled tears. She was muttering something incomprehensibly, my ears perked at the noise, but I could not make out what she had said. I still don’t know what she had said.
Twilight Sparkle, Spike, and Pinkie Pie were standing at the foot of the bed. Pinkie was crying profusely, the air was filled with her whimpers and her cries. I found it hard to believe that she could see anything at all, the waterworks were coming on so strong. Her mane hung limp, and the balloons on her flank seemed to have deflated in the utter despair of the situation. She looked about ready to jump in bed with our dying friend, follow wherever she’d go. Oddly, she was always the most sentimental of ponies, and her show of affection for her beloved friend here was nearly too much to take in. I stared at her. I stared at her in wonder. I... I didn’t know what else to do.
Twilight was just as bad. Her tears were gushing down the side of her face. She’d wipe them away and send gleaming droplets flying, only to splatter on the floor in the coming seconds. Twi let a hoof hang carelessly on the bed post, and a grown, teary-eyed Spike held her up, as she looked ready to collapse. Her normal mirth gone; it was hard to fully make sense of the situation. Both looked on with a sort of admiration and remembrance that sent a chill to my very core. Both looked on with remorse... maybe regret.
There were others in the room. Some I didn’t recognize. Some I did. I chose not to get so close, for fear that my emotions would completely overwhelm me, and I wouldn’t be able to stand it any longer. Instead, I let an older stallion with a gray coat hold on to her hoof, staining the sheets with his tears, his pleas for mercy on her soul and body muffled by the fabric. He kept a firm hold on her, willing his heartbeat to skip into her body, thus keeping her alive for her remaining moments. From the look of it... I’d say that he never wanted to let go...
“Heh... g-guess we h-had a good run... eh guys?” the pegasus hacked. She ended the statement with an aggravated groan, like a thousand needles were twisted into her backside. She thrashed for a few seconds, AJ and the stallion clinging to her, keeping her from careening over the side of the bed.
She coughed heavily, I could see drops of scarlet imbedded into her hoof as she brought it away in the aftermath. “T-thanks for all t-the adventu...” Another groan. “Adventures...”
Suddenly, everypony was dying. Everypony was dying with this mare as the precious seconds ticked away. We could feel ourselves burning up inside, unwilling to see another one go, another one of our friends. It was hard. It was so hard, that you couldn’t help but let yourself die inside, impart with a piece of yourself to the sick. It was just so hard to watch a loved one perish, and, especially in my case... not do anything about it. It was heart-wrenching to watch such a once healthy and youthful young mare die in your hooves like a scrap of garbage.
Watching Rainbow Dash die was like watching the curtains fall on the most aweing symphony you had ever seen in your life.
Applejack’s breaths were short and hollow. Her grip on Dash was loosening. “Y-y’all say hi ta R-Rarity when ya git thar, ya hear me?” she whimpered.
The sickly pegasus turned to her emotional friend. Applejack’s eyes were like a giant, juicy emerald colored apples glistening in the sun. She was at a loss. She was crestfallen. But Rainbow Dash, in perhaps the most miraculous gesture I believe I have ever witnessed, found the courage to smile. “Yes Applejack. I will.” she said. She paused before adding, and this rather solemnly, “I’m going to miss you.”
AJ lost it. She joined the ranks of Pinkie and just flat out bawled, burying her muzzle into Rainbow’s side with a gasping breath. I felt several hot tears streaming down my cheeks upon the enchanting sight. Those two were such good friends... words could not express what they had meant to each other.
Dash then turned her head to the other side. The stallion had his head buried in the sheets, the fabric was soaked through. He was gurgling, nearly drowning in his own tears. Dash broke free of his grip on her and gently stroked a hoof through the stallion’s mane.
“You’ve brought me so much...” A horrible cough was heard, and it wracked Dash’s body. Her eyes rolled, and she seemed to be spinning. She soldiered through it. “Hngh! T-the foal... T-take care of her... I-I know you will.”
The stallion nodded his head in the bedsheets. His crying only intensified.
As I watched one of my own tears fall from my face, I followed its streaking trail down to the floor. I don’t know why I had so happened to in that moment, but that is where my gaze fell. And on the floor, just before my hooves, was something so beautiful that I couldn’t help but begin to fully cry. It was a cyan pegasus feather, flung from my friend’s body in her tossing. It was a part of her. It was the last of her.
I bent down and picked up the feather, my tears trickling from my cheeks and hitting the floor with a dull thud. I threw my hoof into my pink mane, nestling the feather inside. I made sure that it kept a sturdy hoofhold there.
I closed my eyes. I thought about the feather. I thought about that feather resting in my mane. I thought about that feather being a part of me. Because, quite honestly, who wouldn’t want to have a part of Rainbow Dash? Who wouldn’t want to be Rainbow Dash? We all wanted to be Rainbow Dash in our own little way. I know we did. But she was dying now... and so were we.
Suddenly, there was a shrill scream. My blood was pumping, the sound stung my ears, more wails were heard in succession. I raised my head, knowing. Just knowing.
I saw her.
Just to view my own confirmation.
Though I knew, shockwaves of pain and anguish and sorrow still coursed through my body, making me fall back on my haunches.
I cried as I stared in disbelief.
Her body lay stiff on the mattress...
My friend was dead.
o----o
“Rainbow Dash?” I asked once again, clarifying. Fluttershy had only told me that she was a good friend of the manager, coltfriend at one point in time, so they had known each other. But I still had questions.
“Where is she now?”
Fluttershy only looked away. She swung her gaze over to the blank wall of concrete.
“Oh,” was all that I could muster.
There was a moment of uncomfortable silence as I sat there with my friend. I didn’t mean to make her feel bad, I really didn’t. If I was bringing up bad memories, I wanted to apologize... but I didn’t know how to. Instead, I kept my mouth shut, like an idiot, like a foal. It was time to change the subject.
“Fluttershy?” I asked, outstretching my hoof to wrap around her shoulder. She didn’t make the motion seem very easy. “Question here.”
Fluttershy swiftly turned her head to look at me through piercing blue eyes. “Yes?”
I gulped. “Do we have to leave here?”
My friend lazily raised a hoof and gently poked me in the tummy. “Oh, yes,” she said, “That’s for certain.”
o----o
Song: Lightning Crashes
By: Live
Cuz’ it’s a bittersweet symphony this life Tryin’ to make ends meet Tryin’ to find some money then you die I’ll take you down the only road I’ve ever been down You know the one that takes you to the places Where all the veins meet, yeah
I didn’t see anypony in front of me. I didn’t see them. I didn’t watch anypony stagger along the lot of us, their snooty nature and slits for eyes perusing and silently judging us. I didn’t watch them lift the chins of some of the others, or hear them huff a breath of disappointment after a long, cold stare, choosing to pass on by to further browse what stood before them. I didn’t watch or hear or speak or move as they shuffled up the line, smartly dressed and carrying themselves as if they were a highly important figure, their eyes shooting daggers in various directions, no remorse as to whoever was on the other end of such looks. I didn’t know how they were dressed nor how they looked at others. I didn’t see them. All I saw, and this is the gosh darn truth, was grey. I saw an obscene amount of depressing and slightly irritating grey, which made my stomach churn and left me battling a severe and relentless migraine.
“It’s the big day,” some stallion had said to us earlier. “This is the day that you’ve got to hold your chin up high, smile bright, and win them over with your personality!”
Hmph, was all I could really think about. Seriously, all I really thought about at that time was “hmph”, ‘cuz here this guy was, all bright and cheery, and I immediately knew that all that was about to come was entirely frivolous and unbelievably trivial. The foals around me looked as if they hadn’t smiled for a decade (and they had more than likely only lived a decade). They didn’t have personalities, either. I had been here for two days and all they had done was shuffle about like zombies lost in an enormous tin can.
“If you’re one of the lucky ones to go, then we bid you farewell! It has been a pleasure helping you.”
Hmph.
Here we were anyway, lined up in a long row of suffering souls while somepony whom none of us even knew nor wanted to know prodded at us and stated derogatory remarks which seemed to hurt the cheery stallion more than it hurt the pony directed toward. I held my ground, ‘cuz I wasn’t actually hearing or seeing these things; no, I could only think of one thing.
Grey.
The walls were thick, pale, ghastly; the outside world we were currently kept apart from was much of the same. Still, no more I wish I had my friend’s eyes, I wanted out. I wanted to be free, to feel the grass again, to visit more Star Lakes, to go to unexplored and magnificent places that I could not fathom inside this wretched place. I wanted out, and, as Fluttershy so astutely noticed, the only thing standing in our way of it was a set of jangling keys loosely hanging from the hip of my dear, cheery, captor over there. Two days. Two days had passed, and those keys had not come into contact with me... until this morning at line up. But the moment had been inopportune, and I had not snatched them.
But they were there. And the door was right behind him. Right at this very moment. But I didn’t see either.
Grey.
Suddenly, my vision was blurred with the sight of a solid, grey object, one that had come to an abrupt stop in front of my hooves. Though it was not the wall I had been staring at for twelve minutes straight, it was still hideously the same color. I didn’t see anything but the color.
o----o
“What’s this one’s story?” said a mare in pinstripe business attire, her make-up grimly the same shade as her coat.
“That one?” said a grey stallion cowering in a corner. He tried to stand more upright, but only appeared to slouch. Ironically, he went by the moniker Mister Blue. “That one’s fresh off the street, ma’am,” he said feebly. “Found her wandering around an old restaurant. She’s a feisty one, she is, tried to beat my staff to a pulp.”
Immediately Mister Blue regretted saying this. Talking others into taking these foals into their homes was (again, ironically) a weak spot of his. He shook his head and opened his mouth to correct himself, but was cut off by the mare.
“Interesting.”
Blue sighed.
The mare circled Daisy, eyeing her curiously, and with more intrigue than any of the previous foals she had passed by. “She seems fit. Could do a lot around the house. I could stand to use another helping hoof, ya know.”
An overwhelming and certainly odd sensation shocked Daisy’s body at that precise moment. It was as if her Mum had suddenly bounded right through the front door, looking for her. She trembled. The mare in business attire didn’t seem to notice.
“Are there any others after this one?”
Daisy looked to her left.
“I’m afraid not,” Mister Blue inclined, trying to appear stern and in control but utterly failing in his attempt. “We currently have searchers out now, so at any time we could be bringing in-”
“Unnecessary,” the mare cut in. Blue slunk back into a corner. “Don’t waste it. I want this one,” she toned in absolution. “Just keep her out of sight for a while, would you? I cannot pick her up now, there are things to be done.”
Blue was shocked at the sudden conclusion of what had just happened. Not once had somepony wanted one of his foals. That had all changed in the blink of an eye, and Blue was caught reeling, mouth opening and closing in fascination and bewilderment. He almost collapsed, but kept his cool (so to speak) by leaning on one of his employees in an attempt to stay upright. Daisy was now his most prized possession, his most wondrous of possessions.
She was also now on total lockdown.
The business mare was trotting back toward the front door, seemingly on her merry way. “Thanks for understanding, kind sir. Here.” She threw a couple of bits at Blue’s hooves, which the stallion payed absolutely no attention to. “Some bits for your troubles.”
The door slammed behind the mare. She was gone almost as soon as she had come, yet she had left one stallion in near hysterics, and one young foal with an uncertain future, not that it hadn’t been uncertain in the first place.
Daisy hadn’t the slightest idea what just occurred. Fluttershy, on the other hoof, had, and for once in her “life”, she was bent on doing something about it for this Daisy character, this talented young foal just brimming with possibilities.
She was going to do something for her friend.
o----o
Grey.
That’s all that I saw as she waddled back from whence she came. Grey. She was like an apparition come and gone for no apparent reason. She was like that creepy cousin that came over on Hearthswarming Eve every year when Dad was alive and ate all the food and abruptly left. I didn’t know what else to make of it.
Grey.
There was a commotion going on in the room. I decided to snap out of my episode to find that we were being funnelled back to our dreary dwelling; the examination or whatever it was was obviously over. I fumbled around with something in my hoof. It was the pin I had been given. I have decided that it would give me good luck, ‘cuz honestly, what else was it supposed to do? Without a suitable function, other than to pin it to the clothes I don’t have, I suppose I had to give it a suitable function. Good luck charm it is.
As we trotted back to the room, I noticed two peculiar things that had come out of the situation we had just encountered.
1) That cheery stallion was even cheerier now. In fact, he seemed outright giddy, and not for any reason I very much care about. His keys seemed giddy as well.
2) Fluttershy was staring at me something fierce. I didn’t know why, but for the first time, she seemed very assertive with her look. I’m not willing to say it was a welcome sight, but it wasn’t exactly one that I would have taken offense to, either. I decided I would ask what was up.
Put very succinctly, I asked her this-
“What?”
o----o
Song: Bittersweet Symphony
By: The Verve
I never meant to cause you trouble And I never meant to do you wrong And I, well if I ever caused you trouble Oh no, I never meant to do you harm
Night. I never very much liked the night here. It certainly wasn’t the same as the outside. in here, the room was pitch black, and the bed was made of what seemed to be concrete. I could never sleep. My restlessness had not gone unnoticed, either. Though I couldn’t see them, I felt eyes on me at all times. The others. They couldn’t sleep. Perhaps it was infectious.
Fluttershy could never sleep. She never so much as even closed her eyes. Though the room was dark, I could always see her, her eyes shining. She seemed to be outlined in the dark, her edges glowed. I thought she was something like a firefly. Whenever I thought back to that first night, it was her that I saw. She always seemed to be in tune with nature somehow. I couldn’t explain it. Maybe that was another life.
But I couldn’t look at her anymore, ‘cuz I needed to sleep.
Something stabbed at my back as I rolled over. I yipped and immediately covered my mouth, ‘cuz I was being too loud. I grabbed at the thing caught under me. It was the pin. It was that rainbow pin that that old restaurant guy had given me. I still didn’t know why he gave it to me. Not like I ever did anything for him. Maybe he just knew. Yeah. I think he knew.
He knew this was a bad place, and it needed some color.
And that made me think about Mister Blue. He was a weird pony. I don’t think that he liked others very much. I mean, he did stick us in here. This place looked sorta like a prison. Not that I have ever been to a prison. I didn’t know what they looked like. But that’s what it felt like. I think he brought ponies in here to crush their spirits. I don’t know why. I don’t know why anypony would want to do that.
And that just made me think about why I’m here. Why would he want to crush my spirit? What does he want with me? I was put in a box with a bunch of zombie-like ponies and I was left here for no reason. That was confusing. If he was in kahootz with my Mum, then I think I would be back home right now. No, he was just keeping us cooped up in here. That was the scariest thing of all. We were probably put in here to lose our minds.
And so I just stopped thinking.
I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep. I didn’t try to think about the concrete mattress, or the grey walls, or Mister Blue, or Fluttershy, or nothin. I just tried to sleep. It was difficult to say the least. My head started to hurt. It was like a headache that wasn’t brought upon by anything at all. After fifteen minutes of shuffling around on the mattress, I knew I wasn’t going to fall asleep. So then I got mad at myself. And then I really wasn’t going to wind up falling asleep. So what I ended up doing was lay flat on my back and stare at the ceiling that I couldn’t see. It wasn’t anything I ever really dreamed of doing.
About fifteen more minutes of boredom passed over before I got a tap on the shoulder.
I groaned and rolled over on my side. Fluttershy was sitting at the edge of the bed, peering at me through those gorgeous blue eyes, the eyes I wish I had. Her features were spread thin, she looked tired. I hadn’t a clue what she was doing up. It was possible she was just like me, ‘cuz I could never sleep either. But why she’d get up for a conversation in the middle of the night was confusing to me.
“Hm?” I grumbled, trying to keep my voice low ‘cuz I knew everypony was listening in. I was sorta half asleep, half awake. I wasn’t exactly in a state you’d want to hold a conversation with me in.
Fluttershy put her hoof to my lips. Evidently, she didn’t want me to speak. Now I was truly confused. What was she getting at? Ever since the other day, when we were all lined up and some lady came in and took a look at us, she’s been on edge. This wasn’t typical of her. I wanted to talk to her, ‘cuz she’s my best friend and all, but she doesn’t really want to talk to me it seems. But now she was acting real strange. I needed to see what was up.
“What is i-”
I was silenced once again by her hoof. This was silly. I didn’t need this in the middle of the night, I was tired. We could do whatever it is she wanted to do in the morning, I wasn’t really in the mood for charades.
Fluttershy tapped me on the shoulder again to make sure I was paying attention. I decided I’d give her that attention though I didn’t really want to. She pointed to the door, the only door in here on the far side of the room. I knew that’s what she was pointing to, because what else was interesting in this grey prison place? Nothing much. And so I sort of shrugged and shook my head in confusion. Yes. That was the door.
And then I heard something like the jangling of keys.
And then I looked back to the door.
And then I got all surprised and stuff.
I realized why I had to be extra quiet now.
I went all wide-eyed as Fluttershy gestured for me to follow her. I wasn’t so tired anymore all of a sudden. Now everything was all exciting. We were going to get out of here. This just wasn’t the place for us. The ponies here know it. They don’t like us, ‘cuz we’re the odd ones out, so they sort of hang us up to dry. But now we were going to get out. It was like Mum’s house all over again. What wonders awaited us outside now?
Making sure that I grabbed the pin nestled in the bedsheets, I began to follow Fluttershy toward the door. Her hoofsteps were much quieter than mine, and I’ll admit, I was a bit jealous. She was very sneaky, it was almost as if her hooves didn’t touch the ground at all. Mine were like anvils hitting the pavement.
I felt their eyes. I felt their eyes watching us as we left. They didn’t do anything about it, just as they hadn’t for the entirety of our stay. But they were still cold and scary. The faster we got out of the room, the better.
As we neared the door, sneakily, Fluttershy handed me the key so that I could open it. I accepted it, and tried to muffle the noise that it produced. I was terrible at it. The keys made a lot of noise. But I was getting real antsy, so I guess I didn’t care much. I stopped at the base of the door, and, gently, I pushed the key into the lock. It was a perfect fit. Slowly, I turned it, and turned it, and turned it, until...
*click*
That was the sound of freedom.
Perhaps a bit too eagerly, I jumped out into the hallway without checking to see if anypony was coming. Luckily, nopony was guarding the door, or else we would have been in for it. The next part was easy. I knew where the exit was, because the place was so small you couldn’t even have missed it. It was just right down the hall.
I walked with my hoof covering my mouth, ‘cuz I was giggling, and I was being too loud.
Fluttershy tailed me. We were so close we could taste it. The door was right there, and nopony was around to stop us. Fluttershy and I could live on our own again, chasing fireflies and eating at picnics and looking at stars to our liking without anypony threatening the way we chose to live our lives. It would be perfect, because I was in the company of the most perfect mare in Equestria. It would be perfect because we wouldn’t have Mum, or Mister Blue, or anypony else. It would just be us.
I stopped at the base of the front door. My heart was beating like a bongo as I pushed it open and stepped out into the night.
I never did like the night here, but I liked it now.
My heart raced as I stepped on down the steps. Fluttershy was right behind me, and she was smiling a happy smile, the one she had back when I first met her. I liked her smile more than my own.
And we pranced on down the street. We were free. I couldn’t believe it! We were free! No more grey walls! No more concrete mattresses! No more cold stares! I was happy again, like I was when I was a little filly, and I had my-
My thoughts, joyous as they were, were interrupted by a sound that I didn’t want to hear.
“Hey! Hey! What are you doing? How did you get out!?”
Mister Blue stormed down the steps of the prison.
My hooves were in motion before I even thought about it.
“Run!” I said to Fluttershy.
There is a house in New Orleans They call the rising sun And its been the ruin of many a poor boy And god I know I’m one
“B-but... but she’s right there, Mum. Can’t you see her? She’s right-”
I received a slap to the face.
“You and your damned imagination! Everywhere we go now, you have to make up some imaginary friend to play around with. Can’t you just find some normal ponies to play with?” My Mum paced around on the newly inlaid carpeting, thinking of more hurtful words. “I could have dropped you off at the orphanage, but your father told me not to. Of all the terrible decisions I’ve made in my days, I decided to listen to him. What a joke.”
I couldn’t help it... tears welled in my eyes. My mother was being mean again.
“B-but mum,” I stuttered, “Pop said-”
My mother raised a hoof to strike me again. I shied away from her wrath. I covered my face, preparing for the worst... but she did not hit me. I stifled a few sobs, turning to face her the best I could. She looked like a monster from one of my nightmares.
“Well your dad is dead, now ain’t he?” she told me. It hurt worse than the smacks. “Now if I see you playing with that damned ‘friend’ of yours ever again I will not hesitate to give you a beat down, is that clear?”
I started to cry. I couldn’t help it, I didn’t know how else to handle myself. It was true, it was all so very true that I just wanted to die, right here, right now. I couldn’t do that. My heart was too strong... and I was too scared.
So I just nodded.
“Good,” my Mum told me. She was wringing her hooves and smirking. It was a sick smirk that made me want to throw up. “Now, let’s just play a little game, shall we?”
I nodded again. I nodded again ‘cuz I couldn’t do anything else.
“Okay. The game is called all good little foals will stay in their rooms and shut the hell up. Got it?” she scolded. It felt like the roof was going to cave in around us.
“Got it,” I whimpered. My tears seeped into the carpet in our new house.
“You are so weak,” my Mum told me as she left the room and slammed the door shut behind her. I dropped to the floor, the gravity of her words fully sinking in.
I cried. I cried ‘cuz I just didn’t know what else to do. What else was an eight year old foal supposed to do? My Mum’s words were so hurtful and mean... she was nothing like my Pop. My Pop was so kind and gentle, and he was always there for me. He was my best friend. He was my only friend. Now I’ve made a new one, and my Mum doesn’t even want to pay attention to her, let alone let me play with her. I didn’t understand. Mum had changed since Pop died. I didn’t understand.
“There, there,” my new friend told me. She waltzed over to me and reached down to console me, lightly brushing her hoof against my cheek. Her touch was warm and, in a way, a blessing. I felt better. “You are wonderful just the way you are. Nopony should tell you any different, not even your mother.”
I nodded. I let her continue to comb a hoof through my mane, as it helped me to relax. She was not only my new friend, but a guardian angel. She even looked like an angel, but I have never met an angel, so I can’t really say that. All I knew was, she was here and I needed her really bad, but Mum didn’t want that.
“Are you okay?” she asked me.
“Mhm,” was all I could reply. I curled up into a ball beside her, resting my head on the plush carpeting.
“Well good. It’s not all bad. You have me, and right now that’s all that matters,” she cooed. She was a very nice pony, but I couldn’t help but feel bad.
“B-but Mum said that I can’t talk to you,” I told her. My heart felt achy. I didn’t understand why Mum refused to see her, but she said that she didn’t want me to be around this pony here.
My new friend smiled. “We can keep it a secret between you and me... um, that is, if you are okay with secrets,” she said. “Sometimes secrets are nice, but other times they can be hurtful.”
I knew what she meant. I was going to have to share a room with her anyway, because Mum didn’t bother to check and see if anypony was still living here, and we had already moved in. A secret would have to be kept one way or the other. But I guess that I am lucky. I am lucky that we moved into this house, because any other house, and I doubt that I would be making new friends like I am here.
So I sat with my new friend in my room, being quiet like a good little foal. We had a whisper conversation- I started by asking her how long she has lived here. She told me that she had been living here for a very long time. I didn’t believe her. She looked not much older than me. She was very sweet though, even when she lied.
I was starting to feel better. The walls of my new house seemed to brighten a bit. I asked my new friend what her favorite color was, and she told me it was pink. Mine was blue, but I guess that I could look past that. We didn’t have to agree on colors, ‘cuz everypony has their own opinion. Sometimes Mum doesn’t see that, but they do, and I know it. So colors are not important, but I think that she liked that color ‘cuz of her mane.
I asked my new friend what she liked to do. She told me that she liked to help animals, and that some of the animals around here were her best friends. I never thought to have an animal for a friend before. I can see where that makes sense, ‘cuz animals are cute and fuzzy and huggable, as long as they don’t bite.
I asked her about the biting, and she told me that that hasn’t happened to her.
Then I asked her about some of her friends that she had. She told me that she didn’t have any anymore. She told me that they all went their separate ways a while back. I felt kind of sad for her at first. I would have liked to have met her other friends if they were as nice as her. That was unfortunate, I guess. But one friend is more than good enough... so I am still happy.
Finally, because I couldn’t just call her ‘new friend’ for the rest of my life, I asked her what her name was. She told me that it was Fluttershy. That was a nice name.
“Nice to meet you, Fluttershy,” I whispered to her. “My name is Daisy.”
Fluttershy smiled sweetly. I could tell that this was the beginning of a long, undercover friendship.
“Nice to meet you too, Daisy.” She looked over at the pile of moving crates in the corner of my room. They had all of my stuff in it. “Um... do you need some help unpacking?”
I returned her smile and nodded my head.
I now knew that I was going to like my new house.
o----o
Song: House of the Rising Sun
By: The Animals
