Discord's Song

I am realizing that the very thing I have been reaching for is now within the clutches of some people who exemplify every obstacle I had to overcome. The cognizance of my dismal efforts is eating away every animal part of mine, even the antlers, like an insoluble,corrosive acid. To put it in more formal, polite words unlike the previous statements…

WHY AM I THE ONLY REFORMED VILLAIN WITHOUT A BUCKING POWER SONG?!

Seriously, every single girl... wow, I've just realized it's only done by females… That's interesting. Gender equality, my hoof, and claw! And every single time, must the singer always possess a lovely, strong voice unlike boring, old DISCORD, the Lord of Chaos (who would probably shame them with his sonorous call and current Shakespearean mode)?!

Come on, at least you know I can't remove anything, unlike that bacon-haired girl who keeps throwing her jacket everywhere. And that blond unfurling her, well, blond hair. They don't even make a mess in doing so when they 'let it go'. Why, if I detached my lion's paw, it would tear something apart, like the space and time continuum. Ugh, and don't get me started on the green one. Actually, Elphie dearie is not so bad, she was rather chaotic in that scene. Ok, maybe I should strike her off my list. The witch does defy gravity.

But come on, I have changed! For the not-so-bad!

I know some people don't get what they want, it's bitter reality. That's why I should get what I want, who likes being realistic?! Come on, you guys should stop writing stories about shipping me with some pony. Seriously, shouldn't you all know I will take Fluttershy any day except Wednesday because she has to give the animals a song? Oh, who am I kidding? I will still take her. But only because I am most comfortable with her. Nothing else, sickos. I do admire your peculiar thoughts, though.

Point is, I know all of you are creative beings, excellent writers, amazing authors and all that rubbish. Even better, I know some of you are just simply marvelous in animation, especially capturing my good sides! While I am mildly insulted that no one can get my voice right, the potential candidates will do. I would have done all of this myself but Princess Sun-butt and Lulu here said that it was bad enough that I am interacting with beings of an alternate dimension only Egghead knows. Or watermelon head, whatever she wants. Essentially, no tampering of devices or visiting disturbing websites except FIMFiction. Mainly because Twilight wants to be with that orange guard. The one who protects oranges but steals waifus, ya know? Well, I don't.

Since they are so cruel to deny me an Oscar-winning tune, I shall write one here on this platform but I need to see how people will react to it. And I admit, there is a reason why I am called Dis-Cord. Like, Dis-CHORD. I am simply horrible with tunes. So, ahem, musicians amongst us, see what you can do with these motivational verses, will you? It's just a teensy, tiny request, no? Like asking for a glass of water.

Ok, verse 1.0...

Verse 1.0...

I don't even know why I am typing my thoughts out, should I just press that Backspace button? Nah, that cowgirl would say honesty is the best policy and blah, bleh, blurp...

'I admit, I'm the sort of draconequus

who just uses his horns to balance meniscuses'

What, Discord, that's such a ridiculous thing to do! Next verse should be,

'While on a unicycle on a tightrope and whistling Mozart in a tornado.'

Better.

For that antic amongst others, I was dubbed an unlovable weirdo

And come on, after so many ponies saying that, you will become loco

Oh, how impressed Rarity will be with my use of French!!!

Trapped in stone for a thousand years, I wasn't really striking my best pose for the deer

I wonder if any commented on that awkward position to Fluttershy.

FLUTTERSHY! Oh, thank goodness, perhaps you can help me. Oh yes, lovely right? You can even smell the chocolate words. Meh, the lyrics are ok at best. Insert what? A bridge? Well, ok...

EQUESTRIA BRIDGE IS RISING UP, RISING UP, LIKE SUN BUTT!

EQUESTRIA BRIDGE IS FALLING DOWN, TO THE MOON

POOR FAIR LULU!!!

Ok, ok, I know, they are my friends as well... write about how I feel about my friends, you say? Well, I have that feeling you see, a feeling that chaos will descend upon them if they do not...

WAIT WAIT!!! OK, no more mean jokes, I'll just harass the mailmare for not delivering your package. Oh ho, you have some double standards, dear Fluttershy. Cruelly ruin a stranger's day with an army of chickens just because she's no fun, whie leaving the Mane 6 unharmed for the same crime?

Well, in response to your question, yes my relationship with each of them has improved, ironically after the whole incident with Tirek... is that why I don't have a reformed song? And a frienship throne? And you...?

I mean, yes I have you now but Fluttershy... I don't know how to say it... how about a powerpoint presentation with 5367 slides? Super condensed...

First slide:

I....

Second Slide:

am....

Third Slide:

Discord.....

Huh? Write down all I'm feeling right now? From my gut? Stomach? Lungs? Heart? Well, I feel a heartbeat... and someone saying that this is Sparta.

Well I never had a partner to dance during earthquakes

Let alone watch whales fly slurping milkshakes

Until you

And those things about me being bad are true,

because I'm not like you

But I'll lend some power to your corner now!

Some heavy ammunition for your menagerie.

In appreciation of your comraderie

You,ll get some punch, pizzaz, yahoo and how.

Not into violence, well we can't stay in silence

So don't just sit there slack-jawed, buggy-eyed,

my little pony, loyal, brave and a complete cutie pie!

As it's time to show

that I've got the magic of friendship and that sound!

When free, I'll never let any of you down

The traitor's train tracks transform to meet his friend

Who stood by him to the bitter end

Can't deny what you see in this dull life

So I'm gonna give you some salt and spice

But for you, my friends, I'll learn how to compromise

In a heartbeat, I'll be there for you

In a heartbeat, no one else will do

The dance of life together as friends

Hey, why are you crying? Oh please, it's nothing, I can't make it that good or else the Internet wil explode along with the solar burst I've sent their way. Why? Well, fire beats fire so solar flare destroys online flames. You're getting Angel Bunny? The pact's been restored?

Well, this will be my advanced warning to all of you. Ciao non-bellas!