DisQord

by playfulpippapony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Discord, Crossover, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Science Fiction
Length: 2880

Discord decides it's about time that the mane 6 met his old friends. What will happen when the defenders of Equestria meet the crew of the Starship Enterprise?

Twilight has roped her friends into organizing her new library, luckily for them Discord comes along to say hello. When he realizes he's never told them about his old friends on the Enterprise D Discord decides it's time for a road trip, to take the mane 6 where no pony has gone before.

Published 2016-08-02 18:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-08-02 18:50:01 UTC

DisQord

Books. Why did Twilight have so many books? No pony knew, not even Twilight herself. Even when she lived in a library there were less books than what stood before the mane six now. A room dedicated to the things, and it was a very big room. In fact the only question that would be harder to answer than why Twilight had so many books would be why she insisted on sorting them every month. It was times like these that Twilight's friends wondered why Twilight owned so many books.

The Princess of friendship had asked her friends to help since Spike was preoccupied with something that involved Princess Celestia. Something about her wanting to set up a dragon orientated postal service. That meant her right hand (or is it hoof?) dragon was otherwise occupied, so she invited her five other friends over to help. After all, friendship is magic.

"So, let's get started!" Twilight seemed to be the only pony smiling, the others looked almost scared at the stacks of books and the bare shelves.

Applejack gulped, "um, ok. Um, how?" Twilight didn't notice her friend's dread, instead she simply said...

"Fiction goes on the right side of the room. It must be put in alphabetical order of the author's last name and cross referenced by genre." Her friends zoned out as Twilight started talking about sonnets and plays and how they go in order of the date they were written or something like that.

Rainbow Dash yawned, Fluttershy smiled politely and Pinkie Pie ate a cupcake she'd gotten from Celestia knows where. Applejack picked up a book titled 'Sherlock Hooves, The Dancing Stallions'. "Um, Twilight? Where would this go?" Twilight looked down (she had been flying up to organize the top shelves) to see what the book was.

"Oh, that goes in fiction under crime in the section for authors with the last name D". Applejack looked around, she didn't know where that was. In the end she just put it back and picked up another, but she didn't know where that went either. She did this for three minutes before giving up entirely. She noticed the others weren't doing much better, in fact there was only one book that they had put away on a shelf and it didn't look like it was in the right place anyway.

"Oh!" They heard Twilight shout, all five ponies looked up at her in alarm. "I wondered where this one went! Spike said some pony borrowed it before the library burnt down, but I knew he was lying!" The mane five let out a collective sigh of relief. Twilight flew down to show them the book she had cradled in her hooves. It was a battered old copy of, something. "The colt in striped pajamas" she said wistfully. "I used to love this book. I better put it back in the right place so it doesn't get lost agai, AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Suddenly the was a burst of white light that knocked Twilight to the floor, and the book landed somewhere in the pile on the floor. There next to Twilight stood a very smug looking Discord. The other five ponies looked both surprised and relieved to see him. Twilight struggled to her hooves and for now forgot about her book and focused on giving Discord the death stare of his life.

"DISCORD! What the hay are you doing here!? And more importantly, you're standing on my copy of Shakespony sonnets!" Discord removed his hoof from the book in question and put on a persona of forced fake innocence.

"Well, I was just in the neighborhood and I wanted to drop in and see my friends. Is that so wrong?" He put on his puppy dog eyes and batted his eyelashes. Twilight has about to say something when the mane five shouted "No!" in unison. Twilight then focused her death stare on them earning her five guilty looks.

"We mean, it's always nice to see you Discord". Fluttershy said.

"Why thank you my dear Fluttershy. It's nice to see you too". He winked at her causing her to blush. "Too bad some pony doesn't share your opinion". To exaggerate his point further he looked at Twilight who was gritting her teeth in annoyance.

"Well, you are alway welcome amongst friends". Discord looked back at Fluttershy with a look of realization, it scared all six of them. When ever he got that look something bad would almost always happen.

"You know what? That reminds me. I never told you about my old friends did I?" Every pony looked confused.

"Old friends? But I thought you said you didn't have any friends before us?" Fluttershy seemed almost hurt.

"Oh I wouldn't exactly call them friends. They hated me". Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Rarity all gave a look that meant they understood how they felt. "But we had some great times me and them. There was this one fellow, Twilight, that you would have loved! And Fluttershy, you and DATA would have got along great!"

"DATA?" Applejack said the unusual word. "Who in the hay names their kid DATA?"

"Oh no dear Applejack you misunderstand. DATA is an android not a pony".

"A what?" They said in unison.

"Well, it's sort of like, well" he let out a frustrated sigh. "You know what, you ponies have nothing like him for me to compare him to". Then a smirk spread across his face sending a shiver of fear down their spines. "I know. Why don't I show you instead. I'm sure they'd love to meet you!" Before any pony could protest Discord clicked his fingers and they were gone.

When Twilight opened her eyes she was greeted by a sight that she never expected. Blinking lights and metallic colours were everywhere and she could hear a constant humming noise. Then she saw life forms. Non pony life forms. They looked similar to the humans she met in the mirror world, only these ones were all the same colour and wearing the same clothes. They were looking at Discord. What? Where was Discord? In the spot he should be stood another human-like being looking very smug. He wore a red uniform like the other humans and had a look of mischief in his eyes. There was no denying that this was Discord.

"Q!" The shout snapped Twilight back to the matter at hoof.

"Ah, mon Capitan. It is so good to see you again. And Commander Riker! I see you have kept the beard". The human Discord had called Riker ran a hand over his beard. That was when she heard Rainbow Dash say something she had been meaning to ask herself.

"DISCORD! Where in Equestria are we!" The people all looked at her and seemed just as surprised to see them as they were to see them. Discord looked at Rainbow and gave her a small smirk.

"Ah yes, I haven't introduced you yet. Every pony, this is the crew of the star ship Enterprise D. Crew, I'd like you to meet every pony". He pointed at each group respectively.

"Q! I don't know what you are playing at but I want it to stop, and stop these foolish illusions while you're at it!" All of the mane six took offense to that comment, but it was Rainbow who voiced that offense.

"Who do you think you're calling an illusion pall!" She flew up to the human Discord had called Captain and stuck her face in his. Then a pale looking man dressed in yellow stood up from his chair and walked toward them holding a small device. The man waved it up and down over the mane six, as he scanned them it beeped and flashed.

"Captain, I do believe these creatures are in fact real. They read as solid matter and from the blue one's annoyance at your comment, I think they have feelings too". They all looked at the pale man.

"Your dam right we have feelings! And if some pony doesn't explain where we are right now you're all gonna see some pretty strong feelings coming your way buster!" Rainbow didn't move from where she was, instead she simply turned to look at Discord. They all did.

"Q, mind explaining what is going on?" The captain asked surprisingly calm, like he was used to this kind of thing.

"Ok Picard. Since you asked nicely". Discord clicked his fingers and teleported to the middle of the room near the captain and Riker. "You see Picard, believe it or not I've been living in another universe for the last 2000 and 4 years. These ponies turned me into a statue for 2000 of those years but that's not important".

"Hay yea it's important! You tried to take over Equstria!" Rainbow seemed to be the only one to speak since they arrived.

"Anyway. Their God, Princess Celestia, made them reform me. She gave that task to Fluttershy, she's the yellow one". Fluttershy looked up from her spot on the floor and waved, then she hid again. "Well, I suppose it worked. We are now friends, and by default that makes the other five my friends as well". It was starting to look like being offended was going to happen a lot today.

Discord turned to the group of very annoyed ponies. "Now for your side of the story". With a flash he appeared on their side of the Bridge sat in a big over stuffed chair. "Gather round little ponies, it is time for the story of the great being which is Q." The crew rolled their eyes. "Long ago in a land far far...."

"Um Discord? Can you stop with the fairy tail rubbish and just tell us the facts?" It was the first thing Applejack had said since they arrived. Discord rolled his eyes, "Ok. But I'm keeping the chair!"

"Ok, so basically I am a member of a group of creatures called the Q, we are from the Q continuum. We are omnipotent and basically spent all day trying to amuse ourselves".

"Not much different to back home then". Twilight said causing the others to chuckle.

"Well anyway. One day I came across these, humans, and decided to punish them for the crimes they committed". Fluttershy gasped.

"We did NOT commit any crimes! He punished us for the history of the human race". The captain retorted.

"Now Picard, who's telling the story?" Picard rolled his eyes. "So, they were innocent and I let them go. But over the years we became close, I could go so far as to say they become my family". Now it was the crew's turn to look offended. "What do you think Micro Brain?" Worf growled from his station.

"Any questions?" There were a lot.

"Why do they keep calling you Q?" Fluttershy asked.
"I'm am a Q, we have no need for names in the continuum so they called me Q. It is like me calling you Pegasus my dear Fluttershy".

"So what do they call you Discord?" Riker asked.
"You do know what the word means don't you? Chaos and disharmony? I thought that one would be a no brainer". Riker nodded in understanding.

"I have a question?" Applejack said.
"What is it?"
"Where is Pinkie Pie?" They all looked up in alarm, all except the crew.

"And who is this Pinkie Pie?" Picard asked.

"Oh, you really don't want to know". Q, Discord, whatever his name is, snapped his fingers. There on the Bridge appeared a very happy Pinkie Pie surrounded by cupcakes.

"Hey girls! Did you know they had boxes here that make food!? Look at all these cupcakes!" To emphasize her point she tossed one into her mouth and swallowed seemingly without chewing.

"Captain, it appears the replicator on deck three has been used". Worf looked over at Pinkie Pie and the mountains of cupcakes around her. "A lot". Picard rolled his eyes, so did Twilight. Discord simply smiled.

"Q, I hope you will keep you, friends, under control. We have only got so much food you know". Q snapped his fingers, the crew and the ponies (minus Pinkie) all looked scared.

"There Picard, you food stock is back to the way it was when I arrived and then some. Please forgive Pinkie, she is... how shall I say, unique". Pinkie lay on the floor oblivious to the strange new world she was in.

"Ah, so she is a lot like you then". DATA said causing the crew to laugh and the ponies to share knowing glances.

"Trust me, Pinkie is Nothing like Discord. She is worse". Rainbow's comment caused the ponies to laugh, all except Pinkie who was distracted. Every pony seemed to be more relaxed now, even Fluttershy had come out of hiding. The crew on the other hand seemed scared of the idea of a creature worse than Q. After awhile they realized it was a joke and seemed to calm down too.

"You say these are your friends Q?" Deanna asked.

"Yes, they are. And you know what? I think you'd like them if you met them off duty". Everyone seemed puzzled by his statement. "Isn't that your goal in life? To seek out new life and make friends?" Reluctantly Picard nodded.

"Yes Q, that is our mission. But you say they come from another world, how would it work?" Q smiled and gestured to himself with both hands.

"Why me of course! You know, the omnipotent being that can travel dimensions with a click of his fingers. Hello?" The ponies rolled their eyes at his lavish display of self importance.

"It could be useful to have an equine ally Captain". DATA pointed out, Deanna nodded. Picard turned to Riker who simply shrugged.

Picard let out a sigh. "Ok Q, we'll talk with your friends". Q had a look of pure joy on his face.

"Oh thank you Picard! But I am afraid it will have to wait, Twilight and her friends really must get back to her book sorting". Twilight scowled at him. "Real shame too, I so hoped they could have met Dr Crusher. Wouldn't you agree Picard?" Discord saw the small blush that appeared on Picard's face and smiled mischievously. Riker noticed it, and Troi too.

"Honestly, how do you lot put up with him?" Riker asked. The question was answered by Twilight who looked like that was the most sensible thing she'd heard all day. With a small smile she turned to Commander Riker and said...

"You know, I ask myself that every single day". The crew smiled and so did all six ponies. That's when they realized, they had bonded over a common interest. Their odd relationship with Discord (or Q depending on which universe you were from). Just before Q clicked his fingers he stopped and smiled at his family, his friends, his everything. Then in a flash of white light they were gone.

Back in Twilight's castle the mane six recovered from jumping dimensions.
"That was AMAZING!" Pinkie cheered causing the nearest pony (in this case Rarity) to cringe. The mane six smiled and nodded in agreement. Even if it was unusual, there was no denying it had been amazing.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it Pinkie Pie". The other five ponies stared at Discord, who thankfully looked like himself again. "Well? Isn't any pony else going to say anything?" They were lost for words, well all but one of them that is.

"Who were they Discord?" Twilight asked in wonderment.

"I told you. They are the crew of the Starship Enterprise D". Twilight shook her head.

"No, I meant, who were they to you?" Discord looked taken back by her comment, then with a smile he said, "I told you that too. They are my family". Discord looked like he was reminiscing about something, he let out a small chuckle which caused the ponies to smile too.

"What's so funny darling?" Rarity asked. Discord looked at her and smiled fondly.

"Oh, just stuff. You know, we really did have some great times together".

Suddenly Twilight remembered something. "Oh, my books! They still need sorting!" The other five ponies let out a collective sound of dread. Discord on the other hand smirked. With a click of his claw and a flash of white light all of the books had been put away in the correct place, even 'The Colt In Striped Pajamas'. The mane five all smiled and breathed a sigh of relief, Twilight on the other hoof looked less impressed. Hovering to Discord's left with her for legs crossed over her chest she rolled her eyes and sighed.

"I really must be going, sorry to have taken up so much of your precious time Princess". In another flash of light Discord had vanished, leaving six very puzzled ponies.

"Do you think that was real?" Applejack asked to no one in particular. Twilight shrugged.

"I don't know, but one thing is clear". The ponies waited for her to continue. "We are going to have to reorganize these books all over again!" Twilight turned to face the many, many, many book shelves she had. When she looked back no pony was there. They had all made a run for it.